Trigger Warning: Depictions of torture

Sasuke fought back the whimper that threatened to slip past his dry, cracked lips as he shifted his position on the prison floor. The last time he felt pain this intense was after one of his first training sessions with Orochimaru, where he was accused of being weak and pushed far past his limits.

A sealed blindfold across his eyes still prevented him from seeing his surroundings and a tight cuff on his lone wrist held him uncomfortably against the wall of the cell. His body ached for relief but none could be achieved. With his chakra constantly being absorbed, he had no strength left to even sit up, much less attempt an escape.

Sasuke hated the feeling. He hated feeling defenseless and his current situation sent him into a blind fury that he could barely contain. If not for the sad state of his body, he would have broken out of here by now. No, he would have burned the place to the ground by now.

His anger only intensified when he recalled how he ended up captured in the first place. He let his guard down. He let his panic get the best of him and fell for a simple genjutsu trick. A sudden, familiar thought crossed his mind. If only he broke those bonds, he wouldn't have lost his cool. But he quickly pushed it away. He won't let his old way of thinking cloud his judgment anymore. He refused to regret the connections he made with his friends.

Yes, friends. The term echoed in his head over and over until it no longer sounded like a real word. To him, it honestly sounded unreal to begin with. He didn't deserve friends, not after what he did and how much he hurt them. And yet, there they were. He was grateful for Team 7, truly, but he couldn't help but feel he had no place beside them.

The sound of an opening door reeled him away from his thoughts and his stomach tightened at the knowledge of what was to follow. By his calculations, he must have been here for almost four days, three of which were spent being endlessly tortured. For at least 72 straight hours, different captors took turns ramming a chakra-laced sword through his body as he hung by his arms from a cross-like structure. For 72 hours, the blade tore through his insides while simultaneously the chakra running through it repaired the damage in an instant. At hour 48, he had begun to wish for death but death did not come.

To his relief, he didn't feel his chains being removed which would signal that he was being transported back to the torture chamber. However, his ease quickly dissipated when a tube was shoved roughly down his throat. He struggled silently against the object assaulting his esophagus but it was to no avail. Arms held him still and the tube was only pressed deeper into him.

"We told you we have other methods," a familiar deep voice sounded. Sasuke recognized the man as the one who was responsible for his days-long torture. "You don't get to take the easy way out and die from starvation. There's still lots of fun left for you."

For the past few hours since he was finally release from his torture, he was offered food which he vehemently refused—both because he didn't want to give in and because he truly didn't think his body would be able to stomach it.

A thick liquid began to flow into the tube, through his throat, and down to his stomach as he was force-fed by several prison guards. The sensation made him feel as if he was perpetually choking and tears sprung to his eyes. Every breath he took painfully squeezed the tube against his insides and every inhale felt like his last. This, he thought, might be much worse than being stabbed.

"This is truly a joy to watch," the menacing voice continued. "Don't worry, Uchiha, it'll only get worse from here."

With a laugh, Sasuke heard the man's footsteps retreat from the room but arms continued to force the gruel into his body. His tense shoulders began to relax as the flow of liquid stopped but it was short-lived. The tube was yanked from his throat without warning, leaving him to double over in pain. At least half of the contents of what was fed to him collected on the ground at his side as he heaved and vomited.

Cold sweat beaded on his brow and he was barely conscious enough to discern the sound of someone wiping the floor of his regurgitated food. How nice of them to clean, he thought bitterly. As the guards left the room, Sasuke's limbs felt even heavier than before and his throat burned from the acid that rose from his stomach.

He sagged limply against the wall, using the last of his strength to prevent his head from hanging heavily from his neck. This was definitely worse than being stabbed. At least with the sword, he wasn't left feeling as violated. Something about being force-fed like an animal made him even sicker than the feeling of being repeatedly wounded.

Deep, ragged breaths cause his chest to rise and fall painfully. For the first time in his life, Sasuke had no idea how he would get himself out of this. He always had a plan, always had a way to survive. But right now, just surviving seemed a little far-fetched.

He shut his eyes in an effort to relieve the discomfort radiating throughout his body and allowed his mind to wander far from where he was. At least, he might be able to find solace in his own thoughts as he drifted to the memory of a certain personified spring blossom.

It was the morning after he was first released from prison. His head pounded as the sun's rays peered through the curtains above him. Glancing around him, he realized that he didn't recognize his surroundings. He was on an unfamiliar couch and strange furnishings filled the living room. Even stranger, he looked down to find a mop of pink hair spread across his chest.

He could only stare at her sleeping form as Sakura curled up against his body. The fingers of his right hand, which he suddenly realized were still clutching at the fabric of Sakura's shirt sleeve, cramped once he released his grip. As he stared at his hand, he vaguely recalled the events of the night before and his chest lurched at the memory.

He had aimed his chidori at her once again. Clenching his fists, he forced himself to inhale slowly as he pushed the memory away. But it was no use. The first time he had used the jutsu on her was a mistake. They were only children and he wasn't even aiming for her. The second time though, that wasn't a mistake. It was deliberate and he would never forgive himself for it, no matter what state his mind was in. This time though, he was out of excuses. Three times was even more unforgivable.

His chest continued to tighten painfully as he studied her sleeping face, his eyes trailing across the hills and valleys of her peaceful features. This feeling, he thought, while unidentifiable, was somewhat familiar. He had felt it during the times when he woke to her relieved sobs over his battered body. He had felt it when he laid her unconscious form gently down onto the bench near the village gates. He had felt it when she fell against him, exhausted from chakra overexertion during the war. And finally, he had felt it when her chakra flowed into the remains of his left arm, her tears glistening in the sunlight.

As he continued to watch her even breaths, he felt as if his skin was burning in all the places where their bodies connected. His arm, his chest, his side, and even his chin where tiny tendrils of pink hair brushed against him. He was completely on fire.

But despite this, something felt right. Her in his arms and both of them at peace in the morning sun: it felt as if he belonged here, like he had always been here. Like he had never left. And the thought absolutely terrified him.

He wasn't ready yet, he concluded. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready. Not with her and not like this. He shouldn't be allowed to come back into her life while facing zero consequences. So that day, he made a silent promise. If he were ever to indulge in such pleasantries with her again, he would have to earn it. He had to prove that he was worth her trust—both to her and to himself—and he didn't care how long it took.

Sasuke didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he woke to the feeling of the raw burn in his throat finally subsiding to a dull ache. His body still complained loudly as he shifted his weight but the previous nausea was gone. In its place, was an uncomfortable sense of impending doom.

He didn't know how long he was asleep for but he knew that it was only a matter of time before he was hauled off to another torture session. Aware that the minutes were counting down quickly, he willed himself to relax and savor the moments of peace he had remaining. Unfortunately for him, years of shinobi training did not allow him such luxury. His body was constantly wired for danger, always ready to fight for survival.

Suddenly, he jumped as a cool, damp rag touched his forehead, droplets of water running from where it made contact with his skin. His weakness from the earlier assault left him unable to sense his surroundings and the presence of another person beside him caught him by surprise. Out of instinct, he reached to swipe the object away but was only met with an unpleasant tug on his wrist as the restraints dug into his skin.

"Calm down," a stern, female voice instructed.

"Get away from me," Sasuke tried to muster as much venom as he could into his words. But to his dismay, his voice came out weak and raspy.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stay quiet," she whispered urgently.

She continued to move the rag across his face, wiping away the blood and grime that collected on his skin over the past several days. Sasuke struggled against her touch for several minutes but the movements caused his head to spin. Finally, he relented as he leaned his head back against the wall in defeat.

"Why are you doing this?" He croaked, his throat still dry and scratchy.

The woman did not reply. Instead, she held a cup of water to his lips and tilted it until the contents poured into his mouth. Against his own will, his body instinctively accepted the hydration.

After several more minutes of her continuing her work cleaning him up, he heard her stand and prepare to leave.

"I saw what you did for those kids," she said. Sasuke could tell by the volume of her voice that she was across the room now and far from him.

He remained silent.

"Don't get me wrong, I still hate every single one of you Uchiha. But as a reward for that one good deed, I'll at least keep you a bit more comfortable before we turn you in to Headquarters. Who knows what awaits you there."

With those final, ominous words, she left the room and shut the door behind her with a loud creak. Several more sounds followed as the locks and chains on the door were engaged before Sasuke found himself engulfed in silence once again, with the ringing in his ears as his only companion.

A/N

Hope you enjoyed this chapter even though things are getting a little darker! From this chapter onwards, there may be some more descriptions of violence so please be aware of that as you continue reading this work.
I have a big conference coming up mid June (grad student life, yay) so I may not be able to update for a bit as I prepare for that. However, I'm going to try and start posting on a regular schedule each week once all that settles down! I have almost 8 chapters already written so there will be lots of content to come :)
If there's a time or day you would prefer me to post, please feel free to leave a comment or PM me! I'll try to pick a schedule that's preferred by the most readers.

As always, thank you for your support

-ArtfullyPoetic