Matt awoke first the next morning. He looked at the red haired woman sleeping next to him immediatly feeling guity and conflicted. This was something he had for a long time, to be in bed with Willow like his, but he also didnt want to be seen as taking advantage of her when she was so vulnerable. He watched her sleeping for ten minutes before she flickered her eyes open. "Matt? What are you... did we..." Willow asked sleepily as she moved away from him as Matt shook his head. "We didnt do anything Wills. You were a mess last night, really upset and vulnerable. You cut yourself in front of me. You broke down so i brought you up to bed and you asked me to stay" "Im sorry. Im so sorry Matt. You should never have seen me like that. I dont know what im doing anymore, my head is spinning my whole body is hurting. Harriet leaving really didnt help" Willow said quietly as Matt asked, "You mentioned she'd left. What happened?" "Im not ready to talk about it Matt. Im still... im still trying to process everything. Im still trying to sort stuff out in my head" she said as Matt replied "Im not going to force you to say anything Wills, but just know this, i'll be here when you do. But i've got to admit seeing you like that last night, it scared me. Ive never seen you that low" "Matt please dont say anything. To anyone about last night" Willow said quietly as Matt replied "I wont, but please know this. Im not going to take advantage of you. I just hate seeing you hurt like this" Willow barely had time to respond when they heard Ruby waking in the room next to theirs. "You stay in bed Wills, i'll go get her and Jas will be up soon" Matt said as he climbed out of bed, still in his clothes from the previous night. "If you want space and time alone Wills i'll take the girls out for a few hours this morning" he added as Willow smiled weakly and replied "I do need space and time to get myself straightened out. But i also know i need help and i know i cant do it alone" as Matt nodded and headed out to check on their waking daughter.
The days passed by without Matt or Willow mentioning their night together. Willow had started looking for places back in North Carolina, with Amy going to look in person for her. The family celebrated Rubys first birthday in the UK, having a small tea party with facetime calls with everyone in the US. Willow and Amy hung around after everyone had logged off as Matt put the girls to bed. "Ok Wills, whats going on with you two? I could feel the tension all the way across the Atlantic" Amy asked, as Willow replied "Its been a bit weird without Harriet. I've been struggling a little, Matts been a great support and helping me with the girls. But i dont want to rely on him to get me through it. It doesnt help that i still have feelings for him" "Does he know about the house hunt?" Amy asked as Willow shook her head "Because i know what he'll say. He'll try and persuade me to move back into the old place and i cant do it. Its hard enough finding somewhere close to him for the girls, but private enough so im not hounded without him asking me to move back in" "I know how you feel Wills. I was like that with Adam finding our place. I wanted to be near to you but at the same time we also needed privacy. You know if you need to move in with us for a while you can. We love having you here" Amy said as Willow smiled "Thanks mom. I think i might have another look when im in bed later" "Send any over and i'll go check them out for you. For what its worth, i think you should tell Matt that your coming home. Do you still love him?" Amy asked as Willow shrugged her shoulders. "I dont know. I mean, i do still care about him. Its just a complicated mess. I guess its something to add to my list of shit to work out in my head" she said as they ended the call. Hiding a yawn as she closed her laptop as Matt came back down. "Girls are down. I think todays excitement has worn them out" he said as he sat next to Willow, who was unable to hide her next yawn. "Wills, you look exhausted. Why dont you head on up to bed too?" he said as Willow nodded "Thank you for today Matt. I couldnt have done this party without you" she said, once again unable to hide a yawn as she stood up and headed upstairs, her head now filled with more questions.
Almost a week later, Willow still hadnt told Matt that she was moving back home, however they had been spending more and more time together. Both of them getting closer to each other, yet still unable to talk to each other about their night together. The seventh night after Rubys birthday was a bad night for Willow. She was replaying her old life with Matt in her head as she slept, remembering everything that had ever happened to her so vividly. Waking up a little after midnight, drenched in sweat after reaching her life with Victor, Willow headed downstairs and opened her laptop and began her neverending search for her new home in North Carolina. She scrolled through pages of homes, all round Cameron and the surrounding areas finding a few potentials. She had sent a few to Amy to go check out for her and was looking at a place in Vass when she heard Matt behind her. "Youre looking for places back home? Does this mean..." He asked as she nodded before facing him. "Yeah, im coming home. Its probably the one thing Harriet leaving cemented in my head" Willow said as Matt sat next to her. "The girls need to be near you, mom and Elly are over there. Jeff, Trish. Everyone i care about is back in the US. Everyone the girls need are back there" "So where are you looking? You know you can always move back with me" Matt said as Willow showed him. "Its just too messy and complicated to be moving back in with you Matt. I need my own space" she said as Matt asked, "but why Vass? Why not Cameron?" "Theres nothing there that suits what i want. I want enough room for people to come and stay but i also want privacy and seclusion. This one seems perfect, if i can get it a little cheaper and get it to how i want it before coming back" Willow said as she sent it to Amy. "You know its still close enough for you to come by whenever you want for the girls" "It looks perfect Wills. Now, got any plans for your birthday?" Matt asked, hoping she wouldnt realise that he had something in store. Willow shook her head, trying to hide her yawning. "Im going to head up to bed. Ask me again in the morning" she said, really not wanting to talk about her upcoming milestone.
The next two weeks flew by and before they knew it, Willows 30th was two days away. Willow still hadnt spoken to Matt about any ideas, but she didnt know that he had already set up one of the biggest surprises for her. In fact, Willow had become rather quiet and distracted. Distancing herself from Matt on a night time, really not wanting to talk. Two nights before her birthday she was being extra quiet, troubled almost. She had bought the house in Vass and was waiting to hear back from the contractors and decorators that would be working on it whilst she and the girls were still in the UK. It was late, Matt was putting the girls to bed as Willow responded to emails. She was in a world of her own when Matt returned to the living area, sitting on the sofa opposite her. "Wills, are you ok? Youve been really quiet these few last weeks" he asked as she finally acknowledged him. "Im ok. Its just getting to me a bit that the last birthday i had in this place was 9 years ago. It was my last birthday with Mike and Grace, the one where they told me i was adopted. The last one i saw them alive. It feels like a lifetime ago, so much has happened since that day. I guess with everything thats happened this last year and a half, being here, i miss them" she said quietly as Matt joined her on the other sofa. "Ive got so many questions for them in my head that im never going to get answers for. Are they proud of me? Would they have loved the girls? Would they have approved of you? Would they have met mom? Would they be happy i reunited with Elly?" she asked, her voice breaking as she held back tears. "Wills of course they are. Of course theyre proud of you. They'd would have loved the girls and so happy that you and Elly found each other" Matt replied, placing his hand on top of hers, to which she didnt pull away. "I think they would have loved Amy and from what ive heard when i spoke to them when you first came over, i think they were glad you had me looking out for you" "Im just being stupid again, arent i?" Willow sighed as Matt wiped away her tears. "Wills, you are not being stupid. Youre allowed to miss them. I miss my mom all the time and for what its worth, i asked myself the same questions about you to her. I know mom would have absolutley adored you and the girls" he said as Willow smiled. "You mind having the girls tomorrow for a couple of hours? I think i might go visit their graves before my birthday. See if i can get some clarity, clear my head" she asked as Matt nodded "You dont have to ask Wills, im always happy to spend time with my girls" he said as she sighed. "Tell you what Wills, why dont you take my card tomorrow and go treat yourself for your birthday? I feel bad having not got you anything" Matt suggested as Willow shook her head. "Matt, i cant do that. Its weird enough having you here. I dont want anything from you. Any money you want to spend on me, spend on the girls" she said as her skype began to ring. "Look i need to get this. Im going to take it upstairs" she added, grabbing her laptop and headed up to her bedroom, taking a deep breath before answering. Leaving Matt alone to wonder if his idea was really worth the risk.
Willow awoke the following morning to grey skies and the only sound coming from the house was the sound of breakfast dishes being served downstairs. She lay in bed, replaying the last two weeks in her head. What am i doing with myself? I just split with Harriet and ive already had Matt in my bed. I know we didnt sleep together but having him there, next to me it felt so right she thought to herself. But its so wrong. He hurt me, he hurt the girls. We're divorcing. But theres still something in me telling me to give him a chance, that i do, deep down maybe still love him. No, i cant. I cant love him. So why can i not stop thinking about him in that way? I need to get out of here, clear my head. she thought as she got out of bed, dressed and headed downstairs. "Hey Wills, want some breakfast?" Matt asked from the kitchen as she stood in the doorway. "That would be nice. You still ok to have the girls today?" She asked, taking a seat at the table next to Jasmine as Matt nodded. "You sure you dont want us to come with you? he asked as he passed her some pancakes, to give to Jasmine. "Where are you going mommy?" she asked as Willow started feeding Ruby. "Ive got a couple of errands to run and some appointments later on" Willow said, adding "Then im going to come back here and spend the best night ever with my two favourite girls" "What about Dad? Is he joining us tonight?" Jasmine asked as Willow glanced at Matt. "I dont know Jas. Lets see how we feel later on okay?" "If you want me out of the way i dont mind going upstairs while you have your girls night Will" Matt said as Willow sighed. "Like i said, lets just see how i feel after today" glancing at her watch she stood up "Im going to head out now. Girls, be good for dad. Im not sure on what time ill be home, maybe 5ish" she said as she put her shoes on, grabbed her bag, keys and cell before heading out the door.
"Daddy, is mommy ok? She seemed sad" Jasmine asked as she helped Matt with the dishes. "I dont know Jas, but what i do know is she doesnt have any idea about tomorrows surprise" he replied as his cell pinged with a message. "What is it daddy?" Jasmine asked, noticing Matt smiling. "Its something to do with your moms birthday surprise. You'll see shortly. Why dont we all go do some colouring in the living room? Make some special decorations?" he asked as Jasmine nodded, watching as he picked up Ruby as all three headed into the living room.
Willow spent the morning relaxing at the beautician. She got a fresh wax, a massage, facial, manicure and pedicure. "Ive never felt more relaxed in this last year" she said as she had a fresh set of eyelashes put on. "Rough year?" the beautician asked as Willow told her about some of the events of the last year. "Damn it has been a rough year. So are you cancer free now?" the beautician asked as Willow said "Ive had my final treatment so should be finding out if its worked any day now. Im still taking the pain medication" "Celebratory treaments or getting made over for something or someone special?" "Its my birthday tomorrow and i thought since i havent done anything for me this past year, it'll be good to come out and treat myself" Willow said, sighing with relaxation. "My kids are at home with their dad, my ex. Its complicated and messy but with him around everything seems so simple and easy. We're probably getting closer now than what we were a year ago" "Do you still love him?" the beautician asked. It was the same question Willow had been asking herself for weeks. "Honestly, i dont know. Ive been asking myself the same question" she replied as the beautican finshed up. Willow paid up and headed out to her next appointment at the hair salon before finally making her way to the cemetary around mid afternoon. There was a chill in the air as she walked through the empty graveyard, the wind starting to blow. Willow pulled her jacket closer as she neared her parents graves. I forgot how creepy this place was in the colder spring months She thought to herself, as she arrived at the graves. Willow stood in front of the two head stones and said "Hi mom and dad. Sorry its been a while. Its been a hell of a crazy year. Ive got so many unanswered questions for you" before pouring her heart out to the graves, telling them everything that had happened. "So now i dont know what to do. Do i give Matt one final chance? Or do i keep my guard up around him?" She asked as she heard footsteps behind her. "I thought i might find you here" a voice behind her said in a reassuring tone. As Willow turned she smiled and asked, "What are you doing here Elly?"