"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
Robert Burns
It felt like an interminably long swim of shame back to the beach, one hand clutching both her old Discman and the trashy book above her head, and the other frantically stroking for shore. When her feet touched sand she glanced about carefully before quickly darting the rest of the way from the water. She flung her towel about herself a moment later.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. How could she have been so stupid! Toby!
Her first inclination was to call him right back. Demand the Goblin King return him, invariably repeating herself like a broken record, 'give back the child that you have stolen', et cetera, et cetera.
With uncanny timing, she caught the muffled sound of Britney Spears' "Oops… I Did It Again" crooning from the headphones. She dropped both the player and the book into her bag in shame and disgust.
Sarah ran shaking hands through her hair, deciding to at least wait until she was fully dressed again before doing anything else. Impulsiveness had gotten her into the mess, and no sense in having anymore dealings with the Goblin King while topless. Collecting her bag, she sprinted to the tent – an impressive feat in a towel held on by willpower alone - and began tugging on the first clothes she could find, cleanliness be damned.
"Williams."
Sarah paused mid-button at the voice through the nylon. It was one of the year-long camp staff.
"Doug wants to see you in his office." The tone was ominous.
Sarah grunted a non-descript acknowledgement. She did NOT have time for the old leader's pedantry. More likely than not he wanted to pontificate on yet more of the finer points of the organization's lengthy rules and procedures. She'd probably tied a knot wrong or washed a dish counter-clockwise. A small part of her wondered what his expression would be if she just outright told him she'd wished a whole pack of kids away to the big bad Goblin King. No emergency plan in place for that kind of incident surely.
She was still working out her game plan to for dealing with said Goblin King when she jogged into the warden's office without knocking. Doug looked up over the top of the book he was reading. 1001 Uses for Knots. The older man frowned, looked decidedly uncomfortable for a moment, as though bracing for something, and then put the manual down. He adjusted his glasses and shifted awkwardly in his seat before speaking.
"Miss Williams… ah good," he paused again. Sarah felt a sudden and unsettling spike of fear. Perhaps in retaliation for her less than warm negotiating, the Goblin King had removed whatever veil had fallen over the staff. Perhaps they now all realized they were an entire cub pack short. A cub pack that had last been in her care.
"It has been brought to my attention that you ah… violated camp rules."
Sarah sank weakly into the chair opposite him. Her eyes fell to the plaque on his desk. It was an award for working with children for over thirty years without incident. Behind him, covering most of the cabin's wooden-planed walls, were similar accolades. Not a single one was for wishing away innocent children.
"I can explain…" But not really.
"There are dress codes" and "I'll get the kids back somehow" collided mid air.
Both Sarah and Doug trailed off.
"What?"
"What?"
Doug straightened his Necker and tried again. "The dress codes strictly prohibit… ah…" it sounded like the words were being dragged from him, "topless swimming." He whispered the last.
Sarah blinked. "Sorry, what?"
"You were seen today… ah, swimming topless from the main dock."
Sarah's jaw slackened, her mind processing the absurd conversation she was currently having in light of everything. "I ah… " How to tell him it wasn't her fault. That the Goblin King had taken her top after she unceremoniously saddled him with campers Doug couldn't even remember.
"Rule 86, subsection 7." He plopped the large procedure book down on the desk without opening it. The whole thing was denser than a New York phone book.
At any other time she might have felt mortification at being seen swimming topless. At a kids' camp no less. But skinny dipping had dropped pretty far down her list of concerns in the grand scheme of things. Somewhere above her food in her teeth, but definitely far below getting kids she'd deliberately made disappear. Sorry dad. Sorry Karen. Toby won't be starting school in September because he no longer exists and is more likely than not a goblin by now.
"Right." Sarah stood, trying to affect as much shame as she could muster into both her voice and countenance. "Won't happen again." A beat later she cleared her throat, and motioned meaningfully in the silent language employed by all women – eyes up here, dude.
Doug's face instantly flushed and his eyes rocketed back to her face. "I-I should expect not."
Before he could say anything else she hightailed it back out of the office as quickly as she'd arrive. She had neither the time nor patience to dwell in the requisite embarrassment she probably should. In fact, she hoped whomever had ratted her out had at least enjoyed the show. At the very least it was an adult, and her pride was about to take a far more lethal hit than a summons from the warden.
When she came upon a secluded part of the trail in the middle of old growth trees and dense under bush, she stopped. Her hands twisted into her t-shirt fitfully.
Just do it like a Bandaid, Sarah. Rip it off. Admit you made a mistake. I'm sure he'll be reasonable and understanding. Jareth seemed like the forgiving sort.
She snorted so loudly a chipmunk chittered at her angrily for disturbing its peace.
Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth, ready to say the words…
And then her eyes opened.
The Goblin King couldn't have realized Toby was amongst the campers. There was no way he wouldn't have used her brother as his trump card. If he found out now it would be all over. Begging for Toby meant she might as well just forfeit everything. And even if she played coy, calling him back after sending him away not twenty minutes ago… he would be beyond suspicious.
A small voice, one she wasn't ready to fully acknowledge, was also entirely loathe to give up the unexpected power she wielded. He didn't want them. As far as he knew she was in no hurry to get them back. He'd come begging her for a change.
But Toby…
Sarah squared her shoulders, the chipmunk still eying her reproachfully, and spoke. "Hoggle, I need you."
Jareth stormed into his bedroom and ripped his waistcoat off before tossing it angrily into the corner. His boots came off a moment later, bouncing off the far wall in succession. Pants followed, as did his formerly pristine shirt, until he stood - not a stitch of clothing on his lithe body - in the centre of his bedroom.
He was going to absolutely murder her.
Slowly and with relish.
He was still envisioning how exactly over three-quarters of an hour later.
After he'd bathed.
Twice.
In the hottest water he could stand.
The Goblin King leaned against the window, body still naked, now slick and slightly flushed from the bath, and surveyed the chaotic expanse of his lands below. He took a deep pull from the dark bottle in his hand. He refused to openly acknowledge the distinctive smell that still lingered.
Oh, yes, he was going to kill her. She'd be at his mercy in every conceivable way.
When his cock twitched, he glanced down sharply. "Don't even think about it, you bloody traitor."
The witch had to be made to see reason. At the very least he'd find a way to force her to take those interminable brats back. No matter the cost to coffers and dignity. He'd offer her jewels, riches, a statue in her honour, a parade… whatever her cruel heart desired.
Anything to free him from the savages in miniature mortal form.
A perfectly good bog absolutely ruined.
Gone was the most terrifying threat he'd wielded against his simple-minded subjects for centuries.
All because children had decided the dam was 'destroying the natural eco-system'. Whatever in seven hells that even meant. Saving what he could had cost him a great deal of magic to stem the tide of putrid water that threatened to overtake the outer settlements. Had he failed he would have had an insurrection on his hands. A noxious one at that. Not to mention he was already depleted from his impromptu visit aboveground, wherein she'd all but laughed at his reasonable demand to take back her wish. She'd all but destroyed his kingdom over one child. It was like pulling ogre teeth when he very kindly offered thirty of them back – no strings attached.
Lips thinned.
Perhaps she'd planned it. Wishing away the destructive little shits in some diabolical bid for revenge. Had she really bided her time for so long? Lulled him into a false sense of security? He was almost impressed with that level of cunning.
The Goblin King took another deep pull from the nearly finished bottle and despaired that no amount of ale would adequately quell his rage. Nor soothe his pride. He needed to break something. Or bog someone. But he couldn't even do that much anymore. He asked for so little.
Something – anything – to punish.
For his own sanity, as soon as he'd dealt with the bog, he'd ordered the children taken out of his sight before he was tempted to violate the most basic laws of his kind. Contrary to the monster Sarah believed him to be, he did not harm the wished away. Runners were fair game but executing children – however much those ones absolutely, in no uncertain terms, deserved it – was not a stain he wanted on his rule.
Not yet, anyway.
Because she, on the other hand, was beyond fair game.
His brawnier knights had been instructed to take them where they could find no mischief until a more permanent solution could be found. Like a muzzle and a cage.
A knock sounded at his door.
"Enter." He didn't bother to cover himself.
"Your majesty." A tall goblin bowed. His armour marked him as a highly decorated general.
Jareth granted him only a passing glance. "Pöngö. I trust you've wrangled the little monsters somewhere appropriate? And if you tell me they've accidently met some other unfortunate end - maybe by the cleaners, please know I will hold you in no way accountable."
The goblin bowed again. "We have them herding chickens, sire."
At this the king turned. "Herding… chickens?"
"Yes, sire. Seemed like the sort of impossible task that would keep them out of trouble. Naturally we opened all the roosts loose first. All one hundred and thirty eight of them."
Jareth canted his head. "I'm not sure whether or not to feel sorry for the children or the chickens." His tone suggested he in actuality had pity for none. He turned away again, intent on revisiting his original plan to get drunk with renewed gusto.
The general cleared his throat. "Ah, sire? There's one other matter I think you'll want to hear. The girl-"
"Unless your next words are that you have the girl chained and bound with a ribbon on top awaiting me in the throne room, allow me to seek oblivion in peace." Another traitorous twitch.
"Er… Not as such, sire. But I may have some information that could lead to that end."
The bottle paused halfway to his lips. "Go on."
"You there! Gardener! Halt!"
Hoggle stilled, his round eyes widening further.
"Er… yes?"
"Why you millin' about here then? Orders from the castle are that none of the mortals are to be approached. For your own safety, mind. And on pain of being bo... well… suppose let's just say pain now."
Hoggle's knees began knocking, the bag of jewels jangling in time. He stilled it with a sweaty hand. "Well… you see, I was just, just… checkin' 'em out fer myself. Heard they was fearsome beasts but, bah, they don't look like much to me." The dwarf jerked an arm in the direction of the half a dozen children running in chaotic circles after twice as many chickens between the crumbling walls. Walls that kept changing, naturally. "Just come to watch the show really. What's it to you, anyway?"
"Mmm." The guard considered Hoggle for a moment, finally shrugged, and then continued his rounds.
Of course not before he glanced back in time to see Hoggle furtively approach a little blonde boy and begin whispering in a most suspicious manner, or so he would tell his superior later. The guard, though not bright even by goblin standards, might not have thought much of it had he not belatedly recognized the dwarf. Recognized the traitorous creature who had so infamously helped the girl who ate the peach and destroyed half the city, his dear mother in law's house included. She'd been living with him ever since. The dwarf had it coming alright.
When the general finished speaking, the Goblin King's whole demeanor had changed. It was enough that the general took a half step back. He looked quite fearsome, despite being naked as a newborn goblin babe.
A slow smile bowed his lips. "You've done well, Pöngö. You always were one of my favourite goblins. Certainly one of the least repulsive. Have I told you that?"
"Er, not at such, sire. Though you've only threatened to bog me once and that's a record 'round here to my knowledge."
"Never mention the bog in my presence again, Pöngö, lest I forget how much I like you."
Sarah had been pacing in the forest long enough to see the light change through the leaves. So long that even the chipmunk had long given up on watching her.
When Hoggle finally reappeared she practically tackled him. "Did you find him? Is he alright."
"Yes. He's safe."
Sarah immediately enclosed the dwarf in a tight hug and pressed an impulsive kiss to his cheek.
"Er, get off me!" Once freed Hoggle straightened his vest, blushing only slightly.
"Sorry." Sarah offered a half-smile. "You did me a very dear favour, old friend… and after not seeing you for so long." There was a touch of regret in her voice she immediately tried to mask with levity. "Wouldn't want to make you Prince of the land of stench."
Hoggle snorted. "No real danger of that happening..."
"How is he though? Is he mad?" When Hoggle didn't immediately answer, she began pacing again. "Oh, he's probably so hurt. Did you tell him what I said? That it was an accident? That I will get him back? Get them all back? Did the rest of them look okay?"
"They're fine," he snorted again. "The kingdom not so much. And yes, I told Toby what you asked me to."
"Well? Is he okay waiting? And, did you make id clear that I will bring him home?"
Hoggle shuffled his feet and shifted his eyes in a manner Sarah might have marked as strange had she not been so frazzled. "About that-"
Before the dwarf could finish, a sudden breeze lashed Sarah's hair into her face. When she pulled the strands back, the Goblin King was standing a few feet away in full goblin armour, as though he'd come to do battle. Two guards equally resplendent flanked him to the rear, lending credence to the idea that it was not a social visit.
Sarah swallowed and glanced behind for Hoggle but he was gone. She could hardly blame him.
"Back so soon? I thought I told you that I had no interest in bartering with you."
"You did, didn't you," Jareth chuckled. The sound skated down Sarah's spine like a scalpel. He didn't sound at all like he'd come to beg again. He took a few steps forward, just enough to test whether she'd retreat of stand her ground. "But then I suspect you'll change your mind."
"Really?" Sarah affected bravado she most certainly didn't feel. "What could you possibly offer me that I would ever take?"
"Oh, I'm not going to offer you anything this time, precious." He took another step, crowding her, before flicking gloved fingers at the guards behind. "The question is what will you offer me for this little, shall we say, family slice?"
Jareth stepped aside enough that Sarah could see what, or rather who, the guards had been holding between them. Bound and gagged. She felt her stomach drop and the colour leach from her face at the tell-tale messy blonde hair.
AN: Ack! Sorry. It's been awhile. Over a month. Longer than expected. Summer has come and gone. I SO DID NOT make the deadline for this challenge, but hey, we'll still have fun hopefully. Work has been a nightmare and will be until probably end of November but I plan to tackle this before the snow at least lol.
That said, now back to my regularly scheduled (other entirely neglected) WIPs…
Credit: Pöngö is mentioned in Brian Froud's The Goblins of Labyrinth. Nothing is known about him. I chose him for that very reason.