"So, want to tell me where we're headed Matt?" Willow asked as the two secret lovers exited the hotel. "Its a surprise Wills, but i have to say, you look beautiful" Matt replied as Willow blushed. "Is this a casual dinner or a 'date' date?" she asked as Matt opened the door to the taxi for her. "Its whatever you want it to be Wills. If you want it to be a casual dinner then it is" Matt replied as he got in the taxi. "But if you want it to be something more..." he added as he passed the driver the address of the restaurant as Willow sighed. "I kind of want it to be more than a casual, but at the same time im not ready for it to be a 'date' date" she said, the nerves kicking in. "Im sorry Matt, i dont know why im so nervous for" she added as he placed his hand on top of hers. "Im nervous too Wills" Matt said, reassuring her as they pulled up outside the restaurant. "Girafe? You really went all out didnt you" Willow said, surprised at the choice of restaurant Matt had chosen. "You deserve this Wills. After everything youve been through this last year, you deserve to be spoilt" he said as he felt her slip her hand into his. "Come on, lets go eat and have a proper conversation" she said as Matt led the way in.
"So, whats your plans for going back to Vass?" Matt asked as they sat at a private table, out of the prying eyes of the other diners. "We fly to Chicago on Tuesday, where we'll spend a few days with Elly. Then back to Cameron where we'll be staying with mom until the house is done" Willow replied as she took a bite of her meal. "Once im settled at moms, im going to make an appointment with Beth and get a therapist, try and work through some of my issues" "Wills, im so sorry about this past year. Had i known about your diagnosis, i never would have acted the way i did" Matt said, before taking a sip of his soda. "I let you down big time Wills. I let you down, i let the girls down. I'll never forgive myself for the hell i put you through" "Matt, stop. We both fucked up. I shouldnt have slept with Seth in retaliation to you and Reby" Willow said as Matt stopped her this time, "and i never should have slept with her when you were in New York" he said. "Matt, this year has been so, so hard. Both physically and mentally. Fighting the cancer, raising the girls, my ongoing battle with my feelings. I cant do it anymore. Ive replayed that day in my head so many times. Did you even care about my diagnosis? Or did you just hear what you wanted to from Victors recording and figure it was an easy way out?" Willow said, trying to hold back tears. "Youre not alone anymore Wills. Of course i cared. I was just shocked and surprised that it was Seth you slept with. Then finding out you both had feelings for each other" he replied, seeing that Willow was getting saddened by the conversation. "But i know you Wills. You'd never have acted on those feelings if we were together. I was an idiot Wills and i will never ever stop trying to make it up to you" Matt said as he touched her hand. "I...i dont want to talk about the past anymore Matt. I need to focus on the future. Our future" she said as Matt asked, "Our future?" as Willow nodded. "Our future Matt. Obviously we have to keep our dates a secret, but we might be able to have some nights together when you have the girls" she said "Or you could come over to my place when you get back late, surprise the girls in the morning" "Are you sure Wills? I know you dont want people getting suspicious of us" "Im sure Matt. If theres anything ive regretted this year, apart from the girls missing out on you, is getting divorced" Willow finally admitted. "You regret the divorce? Why dont we cancel it?" Matt replied, taken aback by his exs admission. "We cant. Theres more to this mornings phone call with mom." Willow said as Matt asked, "Whats going on Wills? Talk to me" "The divorce came through this morning. We're officially divorced"
"Is that why youve been quiet all day? Why didnt you tell me?" Matt asked, surprised Willow hadnt told him. "I didnt know how too. And i was still trying to process how quickly it came through" Willow replied, "It really didnt help that i was in a bad head space after Harriets visit" "I know it must have been hard for you seeing her again" Matt said as Willow nodded. "It was. Especially when we had just gotten to a good place. But im glad she was your inspiration for your idea to date others whilst secretly with each other" "Im glad i can be of some help Wills. How are you feeling about Vict..." "Dont mention him. Please dont. Im still terrified im going to have to go testify against him" "And if you do, i'll be with you" Matt said as Willow smiled at him. "Thats better Wills, i love it when you smile" he said as the two lovers talked and flirted well into the night.
"Thank you for tonight Matt. I really needed this" Willow said as they walked back to their hotel, hand in hand. "These last few weeks, youve really stepped up. Well, since my birthday really and ive come to realise that the only person to ever get me was you" "All im doing is what i should have been doing all along. Wills, youre the most incredible person i know. Youve been through more than any one person should go through in life" Matt replied as they entered the small park opposite the hotel. "Even though it doesnt seem like it, youre stronger than you realise" "Despite my fucked up head?" Willow said as she pulled him onto a bench, not quite ready to head back into the rooms. "Youre not fucked up Wills. Youre dealing with multiple traumas that happened one after the other. Not to mention the pregnancy and birth of Rubes. Wills, i was terrified i was going to lose you." Matt said, this time surprising her. "What? You never told me this Matt" she said as she felt his grip tighten on her hand. "I hated not being there for the birth, but seeing how you were struggling over facetime, even with Amy and Elly there. I knew something was wrong, then getting to the hospital and being told youd been rushed to surgery. I wasnt ready to lose you" he said as Willow closed her eyes, feeling her heart breaking. "It was like the time i had to consent to your life saving surgery after we lost our son. I wasnt ready to lose you then either. I didnt want to do it, but i had to" "I know you did Matt, and we got through it eventually. Im not going to lie, i was terrified of giving birth to Rubes. I needed you and you werent there" Willow replied, glad to be finally having an honest conversation with him. "I dont blame you though Matt. You had a commitment for work and through no fault of yours, she came early" "Have you ever thought about..." Matt began to ask as Willow interrupted him "having another? Never crossed my mind, ive just been too focussed on fighting this cancer, raising the girls and moving on" she replied, "To be honest, im not even sure if i can or if id even want to risk it. But if it happens, then it happens. Do you want any more?" she asked as Matt sighed. "I dont know Wills. Im just happy i got the girls and you back. Thats more than i could ever ask for. But like you say, if it happens then we'll cross that bridge if it comes to it" he replied as Willow wiped a tear away from her eyes. "Im sorry Matt, its just been a really long year and to even get to this point, with you... i love you" she said as she kissed him. As they pulled apart, Matt replied "I love you too Wills" before kissing her again, as she took his hand, and led him back to the hotel.
"Think they heard us next door?" Willow asked quietly as she redressed after a passionate hour of sex with Matt. "I dont think so. Otherwise they would have been banging on that door, texting, ringing" he replied as he watched her. "Maybe you should get dressed too. You know that they'll have a billion questions about tonight" she said, bending over to kiss him. "I guess your right Wills. But you know, from here you look stunning" he said as she blushed. Matt quickly dressed and let Willow out of his room. "See you through there in ten minutes?" she said flirtily, "get rid of Jeff and Adam, have round two later?" "Sounds like a plan Wills" Matt said as he quietly closed the door, as Willow opened the door to her room.
"Hey, youre back. Is Matt not with you?" Jeff asked as Willow closed her door behind her. "Hes in the room next door. Hes opening up the doors between the rooms" she replied as she walked over to the bed where Jasmine and Ruby were fast asleep. "Did these two behave themselves?" Willow asked as she heard Matt unlocking the door behind them. "Good as gold. Although we did have to watch two movies with Jas to get her to go to sleep" Adam replied before asking "How was your night?" "It was good. Matt and i had a really good talk, cleared the air between us. Set up a routine for him seeing the girls" she replied, not wanting to really talk about the relationship side of their conversation. "So you two are, what? Friends? Dating? Co-parents? Because i saw you this morning in Matts room, in his tshirt Wills. Whats going on with you two?" Jeff asked as Willow shook her head. "I cant... i cant answer that Jeff. Its complicated with us and you know it" she replied holding back tears. "Hey, want to go for a walk?" Adam asked, seeing that she was on the verge of an anexiety attack, as she nodded. As they headed for the door, Matt entered the room behind them. "Everything ok?" he asked, seeing Willow was visibly upset. "We're just going for some air Matt. Jeff was just asking..." Adam said as Jeff interrupted "I was just asking whats going on with you two." "Jeff i told you that we're friends. Thats it. You need to go" Matt replied as Adam and Willow snuck out of the room. "And you can apologise to Wills" he added as Jeff left the room, deeply suspicious of his brother and the women he considered his little sister.
"Wills. Wills talk to me" Adam asked as he and Willow sat by the outdoor pool five minutes later, tears rolling down her face. "You know me and Ames are worried about you. Tell me what happened tonight with Matt" he said as he put his arms around her. "Tonight was so good with Matt. It kind of felt like old times. But then Jeff asked that question, and i cant answer it" she said quietly, as Adam asked "Why not?" "Because... im not supposed to be feeling the way i do about him" She said bluntly. "Are you in love with Matt?" Adam asked as Willow shrugged her shoulders. "I dont know. I want to say yes, but at the same time i still love Harriet" she lied as Adam hugged his step daughter. "Has something happened for you to feel like this?" he asked as Willow sighed. "We kissed. On my birthday. Then Harry turned up last week. My heads been confused ever since. Getting the divorce through this morning hasnt helped" she said, as Adam wiped away her tears. "No one can know about how i feel about Matt, Ads. Not even mom" she said as he replied. "Does he know how you feel?" "No! He cant. I need to focus on me and we need to focus on the girls" Willow said, hating herself for lying to one of her closest allies. "For what its worth Wills, i think youre doing the right thing. Your health and the girls come first. Want to tell me about the anti depressants youre taking? I was in that room long enough to spot the bottle in the bathroom " he said as Willow forced a smile. "But i do think you also need to tell Matt how you feel about him. When do you go back? Why not come to the show on Monday?"Adam added as Willow replied, shivering "He knows im not looking for a relationship and hes respecting that. We fly to Chicago on Tuesday, going to spend some time with Elly. As for the anti depressants, Thom think i have depression linked to PTSD. I need to make an appointment with Beth and a therapist when i get home" she added. "Lets go back in Wills. Youre shivering and i know two sleeping girls that have missed their mom" Adam said as he pulled Willow to her feet, leading her back into the hotel.
"Hey, you ok Wills? Youve been quiet since coming back" Matt asked as Willow climbed into bed with him. "Im ok. I just had a panic attack when Jeff started asking all those questions" she replied as he put his arms around her. "It felt good talking to Adam though. I did tell him that we kissed, but no more" "Its ok Wills. I told Jeff he needs to apologise" Matt replied as he kissed her forehead. "I thought i was getting over the attacks, i havent had one in so long it scared me a little" Willow said as she faced Matt. "The only downside to being out there with Adam was lying to him. I hated it Matt. I hated lying to him" "I know its hard Wills, but until youre ready, until we're ready, to tell people about us, you know that we have to keep everything underwraps" he replied as Willow nodded in agreement. "I know Matt, i know" she said, before kissing him and straddling him, before asking "ready for round two?"
"Adam, i feel so bad about Wills" Jeff said as Adam entered their shared room. "So you should Jeff. Wills is really struggling at the moment and doesnt need the pressure of all the questions about her and Matt" Adam replied, trying not to give too much away from his earlier conversation with Willow. "I know, i just want her to be happy, i want Matt to be happy and they seem to be happiest when theyre together. Just seems logical for them to be together" Jeff said as he collapsed on the bed. "I mean, its pretty obvious they both still have feelings for each other" "You didnt hear this from me, but Wills has PTSD and is struggling with a combination of that and seeing both Matt and Harriet again. Its messed her head. Willow will do whats right for her and the girls in the long run, but for now shes not looking for anything, shes focussing on her health and rebuilding the girls trust with Matt" Adam said, totally unaware of what was going on in the room a few floors down.
"So what time do you want to head to Disney? Before or after breakfast?" Willow asked as she lay in Matts arms, the stars still shining over Paris. "I think after. That way we can check in and head straight to the park" Matt replied as he kissed her forehead. "Plus Jeff needs to apologise to you" "Its ok Matt, he really doesnt need to. Hes just being Jeff" Willow replied as she placed her head on Matts chest. "Plus i could have had that attack regardless of his questioning" "I just hate seeing you like that Will. I hate seeing you upset and having attacks. I just want to help you get healthy and happy again" Matt said as Willow sighed. "I know Matt. I hate myself for feeling this way, one day im feeling positive then next..." "Its ok Wills. You take it one day at a time and if you need me to listen to you vent or take the girls so you can have some breathing space, i'll be there. I love you Wills, im not going anywhere" he said as Willow smiled and said "We'll take it one day at a time. Its not just me in this now, i love you too Matt but right now its time to try and sleep before the girls wake in a few hours"
Willow awoke around 90 minutes later to her cell vibrating on the table next to her. Its just Elly. I can call her back later she thought as she groaned when she saw the time. She smiled as she watched Matt, still asleep and snoring in bed, as she rummaged on the floor for the tshirt she had on earlier in the night, before creeping back into the room she was supposedly sharing with her two daughters. "Mommy?" a quiet voice said from the bed. "Hey Jasdoll, whats wrong? Its still super early" Willow replied as she got onto the bed next to her. "I wakes up momma and cant get back to sleep" Jas replied as she snuggled up to Willow. "Want some cuddles for a few hours, before we head to the next part of our weekend adventure with dad after breakfast?" Willow asked as Jasmine nodded, as Willow put her arms around her. "Where we going next momma?" Jasmine asked sleepily as Willow brushed her daughters hair off her face and replied "Its a special surprise Jas. Now lets close those eyes and have some sleepy cuddles" Willow replied as the mom and daughter fell asleep.
Matt awoke a few hours later, reaching out for Willow, but finding an empty bed. "Wills?" he called out quietly, as she walked into the door frame. "Sorry Matt, i woke up really early with Elly calling and then Jas woke up, couldnt get back to sleep so i had to get into bed with her" she said as she walked over to the bed. "She ok now? And what did Elly want?" Matt asked as Willow crawled into the bed next to him. "Jas is good. Went straight back to sleep after a little chat and cuddles" Willow replied as she placed her head on Matts shoulder. "And i dont know what Elly wanted because i didnt answer the phone. It was too early to be bombarded with what will most likely be a billion questions about us. I'll give her a call later, tease her with Disney" "Thats my girl. How are you feeling this morning?" Matt asked as he kissed her forehead, which made her smile. "My head is starting to clear and im feeling pretty positive. Mainly thanks to you" she said as she kissed him. "Like i said last night, we can take it one day at a time, no rush, no pressure" Matt replied as he kissed her back. "Do you want to risk it?" Willow asked flirtily "Or do you want to save it for the hotel later?" "Save it. The girls will be awake soon and we still need to finish packing" Matt replied as he put his arms around her, as he watched her fall asleep.