That next morning, the same odd behavior could be observed of Jade. She spent the whole morning looking like her thoughts were anywhere but Hollywood Arts, and she would vanish and reappear at weird times.
Beck once again brought her coffee, but that time when she refused it Beck relented, instead passing the coffee off to Sikowitz, who was the only other person Beck knew that drank their coffee black.
Andre and Beck had agreed to keep an eye on Jade. They enlisted the help of Cat as well, though they figured she wouldn't be as helpful.
They were determined to figure out what was wrong.
At lunch time Andre was standing by the lockers with Tori and Cat when he noticed Jade retreat into the janitors closet.
"I'll catch up in a minute." He told them as they went out for lunch.
"Okay," the girls said, nearly in unison.
Andre made his way towards the janitors closet, when he opened the door he found her sitting on the ground cutting into a trashcan.
"Hey," He said, sitting beside her.
"Hi." Jade mumbled without even sparing a glance in Andre's direction.
"Are you feeling better?"
"No."
"We missed you in group on Sunday, I think Jenna's bringing cookies for you next week."
"Jenna's an idiot."
Andre chose to ignore Jade's comment. Mostly because he couldn't really rebut it. Jenna was sweet but she kind of was an idiot.
"I'm going to ask you this once, I will believe whatever you tell me, and I won't ask again."
She knew what Andre was going to ask. "The only thing that I'm cutting is this trash can." Jade held up the trash can as evidence.
"Then what's going on? Come on, Jade. If there's one thing you know about me it's that I can keep a secret."
Jade seemed to think about it for a second, then she dropped the trash can and scissors, moving for her purse. Out of her purse she retrieved a plastic stick which she threw lazily on the ground between her and Andre. Andre picked up the stick and turned it over.
It was a pregnancy test.
A positive pregnancy test.
"Oh, shit," Andre whispered.
Jade didn't respond, she just stared at the wall across from her.
"Does he know?" Andre turned his head away from the test and back to Jade.
She shook her head. "No, I haven't told anyone."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Well I'm not exactly the maternal type. I never really thought I'd even have kids. I mean Beck always wanted them so I figured if we made it then I would, and if there was one person I wanted to have kids with it was him, but not like this."
It felt amazing for Jade to finally get to tell someone else about the thoughts that filled her brain for the past few weeks.
"So you're going to get an abortion?" Andre asked, face void of any judgement.
Abortion, it was the obvious answer. It was the answer Jade always assumed she'd go with if she ever found herself in this situation. So why has she known for three weeks and not done it?
"Probably. Does that make you think I'm awful?"
"No. No, of course not. I just think you should tell Beck first."
"If I'm just going to get rid of it, there's no point in telling him. Why stress him out over nothing?" Jade half-asked, half-pointed out.
"If I got a girl pregnant I'd want to know no matter what she decided to do." Andre rubbed the back of his neck.
"You're not gonna tell him, are you?" Panic was evident on Jade's face.
"No, it's not my place. Your secrets safe with me." Andre assured her. "And if you need someone to be there with you, I can go with you."
Jade wasn't sure if she'd take Andre up on that offer, but she appreciated it nonetheless.
"Thanks, Andre." She said.
Jade moved back to retrieve the scissors and trash can and start cutting it up again.
"Beck would step up though. He'd want to do the right thing."
"Oh so I just trap him for the next eighteen years?"
"He loves you, Jade. He wants to be with you, he'd want to do this with you." Andre explained to her.
"I don't know." Jade couldn't be as sure as Andre of Becks love. She didn't know how to be sure.
"I know." Andre insisted. "I'm gonna go to lunch, are you going to be okay?" He could tell that Jade just wanted to be alone at that point, and didn't want to push her.
"I'll be fine," Jade gritted out.
Andre stood up, leaving Jade alone in the janitors closet with nothing but a trashcan, a pair of scissors, and her thoughts.
Elsewhere, Beck was buying a burrito from The Grub Truck when a frantic Tori ran up to him, poking him on the shoulder to get his attention.
"Hello?" Beck said, raising an eyebrow at Tori.
"Jade is pregnant with your baby and she's going to abort it without telling you about any of it, I heard her talking about it in the janitors closet, you need to stop her!" Tori said all in one breath.
Beck didn't respond, he didn't say a word. He just stood, dumbfounded, not even breathing anymore.
Had he heard Tori right?
Could Jade actually be pregnant?
His breath returned heavy and quick, like he couldn't get enough oxygen in his lungs. He took note of all of his interactions with Jade the past few weeks searching for signs. It made sense.
The change in behavior, running out of class, crying, withdrawing from her friends, her heavy anger directed specifically towards Beck, refusing the coffee.
But she couldn't be pregnant.
She would tell him. Jade would tell him.
Jade would tell him if she even thought she was pregnant.
Right?
"You said she's in the janitors closet?" Beck asked quickly.
"Yeah I came straight to you when I heard her." Tori said proudly.
Beck shoved his burrito into her hands and took off towards Jade.
He had to know.
He had to know right away if it was true.
But he already knew that it was.
Jade hid things from him but she never lied to him. When he asked her if she was cutting, she said no. He just assumed that her not lying to him no longer applied now that they were broken up, mostly because there was no other possible explanation for her behavior.
But now there was another explanation, one that made sense. One that fit into Jade's principle with Beck. She can hide the truth, but she can't lie about it.
As Beck walked through the doors into Hollywood Arts he passed Andre, nearly knocking into him.
"You okay, man?" Andre asked him.
"Fine." Beck muttered, not stopping.
When he made it there Beck threw open the door to the janitors closet. He found Jade making her way through a trashcan with a pair of scissors.
"You're pregnant?" Beck questioned immediately, before he could lose the courage to do so.
Jade looked up and stared at him. She stared at him with a clenched jaw like if she stared at him hard enough she could get him to disappear.
"Andre told you?" Jade's nostrils flared, something that often happened when she was angry.
"Andre? What? Andre knows? You told Andre before you told me?" Beck fired off question after question. "Tori told me."
He knew she must have been talking to someone in the janitors closet when Tori told him she overheard Jade, but Beck just assumed it was Cat.
"How does Tori know?" It was more of an exclamation than a question, but nonetheless a question she wanted answered.
"She overheard you talking in here." Beck ran his hands through his hair, pulling on his scalp. "So it's true."
"If you keep doing that, your hair will fall out." Jade noted sarcastically.
"How long have you known?" Beck shut the door to the janitors closet to give them more privacy.
"Three weeks." Jade chopped more and more at the trashcan in front of her, she was making good progress on it, too.
"Three weeks." Beck whispered to himself. "You've known for three weeks and you didn't tell me? But you told Andre. Who else knows?"
"Just Andre." Jade shrugged.
"It took three weeks for you to tell anyone?" Beck felt a pang of guilt.
Of course Jade would think she could just hide this from everyone and deal with it by herself. That was the Jade West signature.
"Why do you care?" She didn't bother to hide the venom in her tone.
"Because I've always cared about you. Plus you're having my baby for Christ's sake."
"No I'm not. I'm getting an abortion."
"I don't want you to," Beck interjected.
"I thought you were pro-choice?"
"That doesn't mean I can't give you my opinion."
"We're broken up, we're seventeen, I'd be a terrible mother, I'd probably mess the kid up, we have no money, and bright futures that a baby would screw up." Jade listed off all of the reasons why they couldn't have a kid.
"I want to get back together." Beck said, as if that solved all of their problems.
"Great, you get back together with me out of obligation. That's the start of a healthy and long-lasting relationship." Jade retorted sarcastically.
"I wanted to get back together before I knew about the baby."
"We fight all of the time. The kid wouldn't stand a chance."
"We can work out our problems." Beck moved across the janitors closet, sitting down against the same wall Jade was stationed at.
"What about everything else? As I've already pointed out our relationship isn't the only problem."
"We can figure the other stuff out."
"Can we?" Jade continued chopping away at the trashcan.
"Yes. I want to do the right thing here. We can be happy."
Beck was always more of the idealist in their relationship.
"Why are you so sure so quickly that you want the baby? It's not like you've had any time to think about it at all." Jade angrily dropped her scissors into what was left of the trashcan and pushed the thing across the room. Cutting it up was giving her no release anymore.
"You've had three weeks to think about it and you still haven't gotten the abortion." Beck ignored Jade's outburst, he was used to them by now.
"I don't know what I want," she admitted.
"You don't have to get an abortion. If that's really what you want then I'll support you. But you've had three weeks to do it and haven't."
"I want to want an abortion. But I don't."
"Then we can figure it out. Jade, we can do this together." Beck cupped Jade's cheek, gently pulling her towards him.
"Okay," She agreed.
"Okay?" He wanted confirmation.
Jade nodded her head silently.
Beck rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He wanted to savor the moment, being close to Jade was something he missed so, so much.
Silent tears escaped Jade's eyes, much to her dismay. She wasn't crying out of sadness though, she was crying out of relief. Relief that she was no longer alone, that she no longer had to face everything that was happening to her alone.
"Why are you crying?" Beck asked when he opened his eyes and saw the tears that were tailing down her face, leaving black streaks in their path.
"I've been so terrified the past few weeks. I've had no one to talk to, and I've had no idea what to do. I needed this so much," Jade explained quietly.
It was Jade's way of saying she missed Beck.
"I missed you too." Beck pressed his lips against Jade's forehead.
They would be okay. They would figure out how to do this. Together.
...
Just a quick note: this is not the last chapter. I just wanted to mention that because I realized that the ending of this chapter very much sounds like it could be the ending to the story. But it isn't. Alright, see ya soon.
Also, I promise this isn't going to be a one-note "oMg JaDe AnD bEcK hAvE a BaBy AnD tHeIr PrObLeMs ArE sOlVeD." I want to explore how these characters deal with this and how it truly impacts their relationship.
Obviously I'm a hardcore Bade shipper, so I'll just spoil what you already knew now, they are endgame for this story. But that doesn't mean they aren't going to face some harsh realities.
Also, I want to get into how Jade's issues with self harm affect her pregnancy. Obviously cutting yourself isn't a good thing to do, especially when you're pregnant. But being pregnant won't just make that desire go away.
A lot of the times stories show a pregnancy as like a "oh my gosh all of my destructive behaviors are solved because I want to do right by this baby" solution. I'm looking at you Glee. And the reality is that it isn't. People who have eating disorders, or self harm, or whatever else will still struggle with those same urges every day.
Point is, I'm not abandoning Jade's self harm as a plot line just because it's no longer being used as a red herring to her pregnancy.
Also did anyone else always just assume that Jade's obsession with scissors and cutting up trash cans was always a nod to the fact that if Victorious weren't a kids show, Jade would have been known to self-harm? Because that's always how I took it.