Willow got to her car and broke down, she dialled the number of the one person she was desperate to see. Please pick up Matt, please. I need you right now she thought as eventually she heard his voice. "Wills? Are you ok?" Matt asked as he heard Willow crying. "Willow talk to me. Where are you right now?" "Im in my car, just outside of Lucas' place" she said quietly, as Matt asked "has something happened?" "I dont want to be alone right now Matt. Can i come to your place?" she asked as Matt replied "Of course you can. Chamomile tea for your arrival?" "Make it mint. I'll see you in twenty" she said as she hung up and began the drive to Matts. Pulling up the driveway in just under 18 minutes, Willow glanced herself in the mirror. Fuck, im a mess she thought as she got out of her car. She had barely got to the front door, when it opened she saw Matt standing there and just broke down again. "Wills, whats going on?" he asked as he put his arms around her. "I had a panic attack around Lucas. He was going to say he loved me and i couldnt..." she sobbed as Matt took her indoors. Sitting in the living area, Matt brought her tea as she calmed down. "I ran out of that place and he followed me, touching me the same way Victor did. I yelled at him, i froze. All the abuse Victor did to me came back" she said as Matt sat next to her. "Then he kissed me, took my hand and led me to his bedroom. Where we..." she said quietly. "How was it?" Matt asked as Willow shook her head. "All i pictured was you Matt. I'd already made my mind up that i wasnt ready for it. I feel so guilty. All i wanted was to get out of there and he grabbed my arm" she said, taking deep breaths, feeling another attack coming on. "Did he hurt you? And Wills, you dont need to feel guilty about anything" Matt said as he put his arms around her. "I dont know, i just got out of there, called you and came here" she said, as she removed her top showing light marks on her arm where Lucas grabbed her. "I cant... i cant go through it again" she said as Matt kissed her bruising arm, just as her cell began buzzing with numerous texts and missed calls from Lucas. "Ignore him Wills. If hes already grabbing you, then who knows what else he's capable of." Matt said as he kissed her forehead. "I dont want to see him. I dont want to talk to him. I dont want anyone but you" she said as she kissed him, taking his hand and running it over her body. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked as she nodded. "Im one hundred percent sure. Take me to bed"
Willow awoke first the next morning and looked at the man sleeping next to her and smiled. This is everything i want. I hate this sneaking around but im still not ready to tell people about us she thought as she watched Matt sleeping. I love this place, its always felt like home to me. She crept out of bed, walking over to the window that overlooked the garden and lake, grabbing her cell to check the time and noticed over 50 missed calls and 100 messages from Lucas. Why cant he just leave me for a night? she thought as she deleted his messages and calls, before blocking his number. "Wills?" Matt called out, still half asleep. "Im here Matt" she replied as he sat up and saw her by the window. "What time is it? You ok?" he asked as Willow walked back over to the bed. "Its just past 5:30 and im good. Just had a load of messages and missed calls from Lucas. Ive blocked his number, im done with him" she said as she lay next to Matt. "So mom has the girls until tomorrow afternoon, want to have some more fun?" she said as she straddled him, before they slept together as they had done for so many months.
"Why dont you get Amy to drop the girls off here? Spend the afternoon together as a family?" Matt asked the following morning as he watched Willow wrap a towel around her wet body. "Sounds like a good idea, im not sure i want to be on my own right now" she replied as she kissed him, her wet hair dripping onto his face. "Have you decided what youre going to do with Lucas?" Matt asked as they pulled apart. "Its over with us. I blocked him this morning" she replied as she sat on the bed next to him, her arm now bruised from where he had grabbed it the night before. "Im sorry Wills, i know how rough its been for you. How tough it was to let someone else in" Matt replied as he kissed her bruised arm. "I have a better use for those lips" Willow teased, as she sent a quick text to Amy with the change of plans, before falling once again into bed with Matt.
"So its over with Lucas? I thought you liked him Wills" Amy asked as she dropped the girls off at Matts a few hours later. "I did. Until last night happened" Willow replied as Amy asked "What happened last night?" as Willow explained what had happened with her and Lucas. "I stayed here last night. I was in no state to be on my own" "You stayed here? Is there something going on with you two?" Amy asked as Willow shook her head. "We just talked all night. I forgot just how easy it is to talk to him" she said as Jasmine came running up to her. "Momma, come have a picnic with us" she said as Willow smiled and replied "I'll be there in two minutes Jas. Just let me say bye to Grandma ok" as Jasmine ran off. "Youre still into him arent you?" Amy asked "You get this lookand blush whenever Matts mentioned or you talk about him" "I never stopped. But you know its complicated with us" Willow replied."And after last night with Lucas, im definitley not ready for anything. Matt was just so good to me last night when he didnt have to be" "I wont say anything Wills. You know where i am if you need to vent" Amy said as she hugged her daughter. "Thanks mom. I'll see you at Brooke and Christians wedding?"
"Why dont you stay at my place before we fly to Texas? Go together" Willow suggested later that night as Matt returned from putting Jasmine and Ruby to bed. "Wheres this come from Wills?" he asked as he sat next to her on the sofa. "I was thinking about it this afternoon whilst watching you and Jas do the jigsaw. It makes sense Matt. One car to the airport instead of two, we're already on the same flight, at the same hotel..." she replied as he put his arms around her. "That sounds like a plan Wills. Speaking of plans, are you staying here again tonight or are you going back to your place?" he replied as she leaned into him. "Can i stay? Im not sure if im ok to be on my own" she asked as Matt nodded. "You dont have to ask Wills. Stay for as long as you like" "Thanks Matt, want to watch a movie before bed?" Willow replied as Matt took her hand and led her to the cinema room in the basement. "Mom is suspicious of us. Ive told her nothing is going on but you know what shes like" Willow said as she lay next to Matt as the movie started. "Jeff and Adam are too. Ever since Paris" he replied as he held her, as her cell buzzed. "Just a reminder i have therapy and an appointment with Beth tomorrow. You ok to entertain Jas and Rubes for a few hours?" Willow asked as Matt kissed her forehead. "I'll take them out to the park and ice cream. Want to join us if youre finished?" "That sounds like a plan Matt. Although im wondering, are we doing the right thing? Still sneaking around?" she replied. "I think so Wills. But like i said when i came to your place, youre in charge. Only you can decide if and when youre ready to tell people" Matt replied as Willow sighed, another decision she had to make playing on her mind.
The days blurred into one, Willow returned home on the Monday, after spending the full weekend at Matts place. It was Tuesday and Willow was helping Jasmine pack for Texas. Ruby playing on the floor. "Momma, did you have fun having a sleepover at dadas?" Jasmine asked as Willow nodded. "I did, i always loved dadas house. It was our home for a long long time" she replied as she hugged Jasmine. "I remember our tickle fights in bed. I wish we could all live there again as a family" Jasmine said as Willow hugged her even tighter. "Jas, me and dada are complicated. Maybe one day we'll all be back in that house, but right now we are here. Are you happy here Jas?" Willow replied as Jasmine nodded. "I loveses my room and mommas room for cuddles and the pool and the biiiiig garden" she said as Willow laughed. "Why dont we go play outside for a few hours before dinner, then see if we can get a facetime with dada before bed?" she said, picking Ruby up from the floor, concerned that her youngest was yet to stand on her own. "Sounds fun momma" Jasmine said as she took Willows hand as they headed outside to the garden.
A few hours later, Willow was in the kitchen preparing dinner, Jasmine and Ruby sat at the table, with Jasmine drawing. Ruby playing with some letter blocks. "Momma, whats for dinner?" Jasmine asked as Willow replied "So, you know how we have a long day tomorrow, going to Texas for Auntie Brooke and Uncle Christians wedding? Im thinking pizza, chicken dippers and a few other nibbly bits and we can all go watch a movie as we eat. Have a chill night before the chaos tomorrow""oooh yummy! Is dada coming with us?" Jasmine asked as Willow said "Maybe..." before getting interrupted by someone buzzing at her gate. Who is calling here this time of night? she thought to herself as she said "Jas, stay here with Rubes. I'll be 2 minutes ok. Im just going to go see who is at the gate" before heading out into the chilly night. "Hi, can i help you?" Willow asked as she saw the two men at her gate. "Miss Willow Smithson? We have a delivery for you" one of them said as the other held out a bouquet of black roses."Return them to whoever sent them. I cant have them anywhere near me" Willow said, struggling for breath. "Dr Lucas Carver will be so disappointed" the one holding the flowers said as he put them back in the van. "Did you just say Lucas Carver?" she asked breathlessly, as the man nodded."Do you know him well miss?" the other one asked as Willow shook her head. "We went out on a few dates, that was it." she said as she heard Jasmine calling. "Give the roses to your wives, girlfriends, partners whatever. I just cant have those around me" she said before turning and heading back to the house.
"Who was it momma?" Jasmine asked as Willow returned to the kitchen. "Just a delivery Jas but they had the wrong place. They needed a place with a very similar name to this" Willow lied as she put pizza in the oven. "Why dont we see if we can call dada? Make him jealous of pizza and movie night" Willow suggested as Jasmine nodded. "Why dont you call him while i finish off the snacky snacks" Willow said as she passed her cell to Jasmine, who called Matts number. "Hi Jas, you ok?" Matt asked over facetime as Jasmine nodded. "Just calling to say hi dada. We misses you here and we having pizza and movie night!" she said excitedly as Matt gasped in pretend shock. "Pizza and a movie?! Where was my invite?" he asked as Jasmine giggled. "Are you coming to auntie Bwookes wedding to uncy Chwis?" she asked as Matt nodded. "Of course, do you really think i'd miss my favourites being flower girls" he asked as Willow giggled in the kitchen. "Hey Wills, i wouldnt want to miss you as bridesmaid again" he said as Willow said, "only a few mins till pizza Jas, want to go choose the movie so i can talk to dada?" "Bye dada! See you soooooon!" Jasmine said as she passed Willows cell back to her. "You ok Wills? You look..." Matt asked as Willow shook her head. "Not really. Can we talk about when you get here? When do you get here?" she replied as Matt realised, something really wasnt right with her. "I was going to arrive around 930-10pm, once the girls are in bed. I dont want them getting all hyper just because im there. I can come earlier if you need me" he said as Willow shook her head. "10 sounds good. I'll put the girls to bed around 8 and take a quick bath. I just really need to relax tonight" she said as they ended the call, just as the oven beeped. "Hey Jas, dinners ready" Willow called as Jasmine came running in. "I want to watch both momma" Jasmine said as Willow sliced the pizza. "Ready to go eat Jas & Rubes?" she asked as the three females headed into the living area.
"But momma... i dont wanna go sleep" Jasmine said, sleepily. "Im not tired" "Yes you are Jas. Youre yawning right now" Willow replied as she tucked in her daughter. "Tell you what, i'll make you a deal Jas. If you go to sleep right now, i'll let you stay up late for the wedding" she suggested as Jasmine nodded. "Kay momma deal. But can i have one more little story pleeeeeeeeeease" she asked as Willow said "Of course. Now which story would you like?"
Willow left a sleeping Jasmines room just after 830. I should have told Matt to come earlier. I really need to see him she thought as she entered her ensuite bathroom and started running the hot water. Ive not been right since the night Lucas...she thought as she stepped into the bath, replaying the events of that night in her mind. Did he... did he rape me? I dont remember consenting but i dont remember saying no either. Im just glad Matt was around to stop me from spiralling. As she lay in the bath, she began to feel the shame, the pain and the confusion building up, tears rolling down her face. Willow didnt remember grabbing her razor, or cutting deep into the top of her thigh. Instead she felt relief, all her worries draining out of her. She began drifting, only noticing the water turning red when she heard Matt calling for her from the bedroom. "Wills? You in there?" Matt asked as he opened the door. Seeing the red water, he crouched next to the bath. "Wills? Whats going on? Are you cutting again?" he asked as she faced him, "I fucked up Matt" she replied quietly as he put his arms around her. "You didnt fuck up Wills" he said as he felt the now cold water. "Tell you what, why dont we get out of this water and we can go talk" he said as Willow nodded.
Willow made her way downstairs ten minutes later, wearing one of Matts old shirts and shorts. Her fresh cut on show. "You always did look good in my stuff Wills" Matt said as he entered the living area, carrying her a cup of berry tea, forcing Willow to breakout a weak smile as she sat on the sofa next to him. "Thats better, we all love it when you smile" he said passing her the tea as he asked "Want to tell me about the..." "The cutting? I wasnt thinking straight. Lucas sent me black roses tonight..." Willow began to say as Matt interrupted. "I could tell something was wrong earlier. Does he know how triggering they are for you?" "I dont know, we barely discussed what happened to me. Only that i used to get black roses sent" she replied, sipping her tea. "He must have thought you or fans sent me them. I froze, i panicked. I told the delivery guys to send them back and thats how i found out it was him. It got me to thinking about the night i stayed at your place..." "The night after you and him..." Matt said as Willow nodded. "He knew i wasnt ready for the physical side, i knew i feeling vulnerable after the panic attack, feeling pretty out of it but i dont remember consenting to sex. Not with him anyways" she said as she felt tears building. "But at the same time, i dont remember telling him to stop or say no. Did he...did he rape me Matt?" she asked. But before he could answer, there was a knock at her door. "Who the hell is knocking this time of night?" she complained as she stood up to go answer it. "Wills, ignore it. They'll leave soon enough if you dont answer" Matt said as the knocking turned to a pounding. "Let me deal with it Matt. I'll be a few minutes" she said as she headed to the front door. As she opened the door she had the surprise of her life. There in front of her was Lucas.
"Hi Willow. Can we talk? Why have you not been answering my calls or texts?" Lucas asked demandingly. "Lucas, i dont want to see you. Please just go" Willow said quietly, trying to close the door, but Lucas held it open. "Not until you tell me why youre ignoring me" he demanded. "LUCAS. Please just go" she said, loud enough so Matt could hear his name. "Not until we've talked Willow. Please tell me what ive done wrong" Lucas begged. "You really want to know why ive been ignoring you?" Willow asked as Lucas nodded. "The date we had last week. The one where i had the panic attack, was feeling vulnerable and you took advantage of it. I TOLD you i wasnt ready for a physical relationship and yet you took me to bed and fucked me" Willow said angrily, just wanting him to go. "You didnt say no or stop though Willow" Lucas replied as Willow opened her mouth to reply, a mans voice behind her said "She didnt say yes either. Now ive heard Willow ask you to leave, multiple times. I think its time you did" Matt said as he stood behind her. "Willow, are you saying that i raped you?" Lucas asked as Willow replied shakily "I dont know what it is or isnt. But im done. We're done. Dont call, dont text. Ive already blocked your number. Goodbye Lucas"
"Wills? Are you ok? Youre shaking" Matt said as he held her. "I just didnt think he'd turn up like this. I wasnt prepared to see him" she replied as Matt wiped away a tear. "Im just thankful and grateful that you were here Matt" she added, smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. "I wouldnt have been anywhere else Wills" he replied adding "and im not going anywhere. Want to go finish that conversation from before we were rudely interrupted?" as Willow nodded, taking his hand and leading him back into the living area. "Do you think i did the right thing Matt?" Willow asked an hour later as she lay in his arms on the sofa. "With Lucas? Absolutley" Matt replied as he continued "Wills you did nothing wrong. He saw a situation and took advantage" "Im sorry Matt. I just cant wait to get to Houston, get my mind off it. Off everything for a while" Willow said as she sat up and faced him. "What time do you want to head off in the morning?" she asked, climbing on top of him. "Flight is what...1030-11am? So head off around 730-8? Give the girls time for breakfast" Matt replied as Willow kissed him. "Sounds good Matt, now do you want to come take my mind off everything upstairs? she asked flirtily as Matt kissed her back. "Or we could just do it right here" he replied as they removed each others clothing and fucked as they had done so many times before.
Matt lay awake and watched his ex wife, his current lover sleep. You always look so peaceful and happy when you sleep he thought as Willow stirred in her sleep. I love you and i hate what Lucas did to you. But im not leaving you, not again. Its going to be hard this weekend to sneak around, but youre in control he thought as he brushed the hair away from her face. As he did, she began mumbling. "No...no...stay away...get off... get off me...please no no no!" she said as she tossed and turned on the bed before bolting upright, gasping for breath and sweating. "Ones dead, ones in jail. Ones dead, ones in jail" she repeated to herself as Matt slowly put his arms around her. "Wills, you ok?" he asked as she leaned into him. "Just a bad dream Matt. I thought i was over them, i guess seeing Lucas brought them back" she replied as he kissed her forehead. "What time is it anyways?" she asked as Matt replied "Just before 5am. Go back to sleep Wills, i'll wake you in a bit" "Ive got a better idea" she said as she kissed him, pulling him on top of her. "You know, its going to be harder to do this at the wedding. Lets make the most of this time" Willow said as she kissed him, as they once again slept together.