Author's note: Sorry I was not updating my stories lately since I had been dealing with personal events in life.
All I know back then was that I was born among a group of Youkai Hunters that hunt down dangerous Youkai that plague Gensokyo and eliminates them whenever havoc errupts.
On the outside, they were among the most respected groups out there that can take on the most life-threatening missions out there and emerge victorious.
On the inside, however, they were not the most skilled in how relationships within the family work.
Especially when growing up knowing that you are expected to run the family business, no questions asked, unfortunately.
Growing up, my elders, who consists of my parents and grandparents, all expected me to know everything on hunting down Youkai, learning strategy and tactics, using melee weapons and abilities, and how to survive in Youkai-infested territories with limited resources and supplies.
To some, training was hard work, but they yield desired results if they put time and dedication to make themselves the most skilled Youkai Hunters out there.
To me however, it was nothing but a grueling and painful experience growing up.
What was the point of training to become a powerful Youkai Hunter if I was deprived of having a normal life, deprived of having actual friends, deprived of having people to look up to, without even having to know what it was like to be a normal person in the first place?
Whenever I wanted to even have fun, to make friends, to even go to various events in the Human Village, these answers sadly include:
"There is no time for friends."
"Focus on your destiny as a Youkai Hunter, nothing else matters."
"Never concern yourself with anyone outside of the family."
"We are Youkai Hunters, and we must follow what is expected of us."
But I asked myself:
Why can't I make friends?
Why did they have relationships with each other while I cannot have any?
Why can't I participate in these events just to have fun?
When can I even have a normal life?
What is the point of being a Youkai hunter if I can't have a normal life?
But the bigger question I now asked is:
When can I have someone to even love?
Despite my constant questionings and pleadings at times despite their neglectful responses, I dutifully learned whatever my elders expected me to do, absorbing information akin to plants taking in water from the rain.
And then the missions against the Youkai, where I'm expected to apply all my knowledge in combat, abilities, and survival, a number of times I was being forced to risk my entire life just to see a tomorrow, all in a tragic circle.
A tomorrow that repeats with lessons, training, and application. A tomorrow where I can't even have a single shot of being normal life everyone else. A tomorrow where I questioned my existence in this miserable world.
All while I kept a false smile and indifference that prevented others from noticing how much pain I was dealing with inside, despite my elders being the most skilled Youkai hunting group in Gensokyo.
And then, as reports indicate, a Hakurei civil war happened, dividing Gensokyo into many factions as each vie for supremacy, something my family all took advantage of to make a profit, with me dragging along reluctantly for the ride.
Even still, despite being so young, I felt I was forced to grow up way too early for my child-like mind to comprehend.
One day, when a mission during the snow time that requires groups of Youkai hunter teams to take down particularly hostile Youkai emerged during the Hakurei civil war, my elders saw the opportunity to join, despite my fears and hesitations, something they ignored or tell me to fulfill my duty as a Youkai Hunter regardless, something I sadly nodded.
The mission was dangerous and grueling, number of times I see hunters fell from combat against that particular group of Youkai, often in a number of truly disturbing and horrifying ways that my young mind couldn't comprehend clearly despite my elders' dismissals.
And even when I offered to help provide medical aid to the wounded, my elders told me privately to not do it at all.
And when asked if the medics were taken out, they privately told me this:
"Don't concern yourself with the medics; they are not our concern as they don't want to learn how to fight."
"And even if they needed help at all?"
"Not our concern to us."
At that moment, I developed a realization about my elders as a whole.
A realization that despite their talents, they were not good people at all.
With that discovery,
All my fears.
All my sadness.
All my worries of whether I could see the daylight again and again were washed away.
Washed away and replaced a seething hatred towards my family.
Towards the people that didn't help save me from this terrible fate.
Towards the Youkai and other threats for wrecking havoc.
And all I know then . . .
Was that I wanted to see Genskoyo burn to the ground.
And to start my new path, I must cleanse my old path completely from existence.
Bidding my time and keeping a low profile, I waited until the hunter groups completed their mission and take out the Youkai group that have been wreaking havoc all over the land.
And when they were done taking out the Youkai, I made my strike.
Using my skills with the katana that was given to me by my elders and infuse it with lightning that my elders taught me, I slew my treacherous father with the force of a veteran hunter and he fell to the ground in pain from the injuries, the lightning coursing through his body, and the shock of seeing his flesh and blood retaliating against him.
Shocked filled the area as they saw my pathetic excuse of my father bleeding out in pain while lightning course through his veins.
And then my pathetic excuse of my elders demanded what happened and why I did this, I told them my response:
"It is my destiny," I answered blankly, before turning into a nasty glare as I bore towards my elders' horrified faces, towards the other hunter groups who have these similar faces as well. "My destiny . . . is to burn everything to the ground."
Screams echoed the forest as slew and slew more and more hunters without remorse and hesitation, using all my skills from my pathetic elders in lots of horrible yet all so beautiful ways; it was so beautiful to see beg, cry, and even plead for mercy, all taken away with extreme prejudice.
Some say I'd become like them, like the Youkai and other beings like them that terrorize Gensookyo whenever they pleased, something I can't help but enjoy all too well.
And when I slaughtered all of them, when their bodies laid on the floor in some many gruesome ways, I laughed.
A laugh that was both in joy and in suffering, in happiness yet in pain, in satisfaction but with grief.
I laughed it all away without a care in the world until the snow cleared away and emerged a clean slate.
A slate that involves killing anyone and possibly everyone that ventures outside of the Human Village itself, and anyone that gets in my way.
Years passed and while I grew efficient as a rogue Youkai Hunter, I also grew jaded and bitter, wondering if this is my purpose in my life; a life without a happy ending at all as I tried to survive as an orphan who cast away everything I had, even my own name.
Even I don't know what even happened to the Hakurei Civil war that erupted in my absence as well.
And when the snow came again and I found an abandoned village full of cats, I needed to lay low and rested, not wanting to bother a number cats that reside in this land.
Especially someone who has developed a massive kill count that I can barely remembered after a while.
During that time, I gradually become intrigued by the cats living their daily lives within the abandoned village, and a girl that appeared to be a Nekomata that help tend to these creatures.
Normally I wound have just kill anyone that gets in my way previously, but I felt interested in observing the Nekomata and how she treats them like pets at times out of curiosity.
I was not sure if she and the other cats know me, as I kept my distance, but even I didn't care one bit at that time.
But when hostile bandits emerged to the abandoned village and decide to exterminate all the cats in their sight, especially for their sick enjoyment, I had to take action and brutally slaughter them all with extreme prejudice, not caring if I get exposed and having to go on the run again; I already lost my life already, so I refused to let anyone to go through this tragedy I'd experienced.
And after I slaughter the bandits and collect their supplies, I met Her.
A woman with blonde hair, purple eyes, and winter-like white dress and purple tabard aside from an opened parasol in her hands as she sat on a gap in the sky, somewhat close to me.
"I guess those bandits won't terrorize the Miyohaga village, thanks to you of course."
I stared blankly at this odd woman, especially since she is sitting on one of her gaps like it was nothing to her.
"You're going to kill me, aren't you?"
"No, I won't," she replied. "If I did, would we even have this conversation in the first place?"
"Oh, I see," I relaxed as I stared at her blankly, holding a few katanas carefully on my thin hand.
"But despite this, you have lots of potential for someone like you, though you didn't deserve to be treated by your horrible family or be deprived of a normal life. However . . . "
She offered her hand and told me this:
"While I am concerned about your past actions, at least I can thank you for protecting Chen at the Mayohiga village. But given your reputation, I'm worried that you can cause problems with terrorizing and killing people. But given the state of Gensokyo right now without its Hakurei Shrine Maiden given the circumstances of the Civil War and the terrible fate of one of their surviving kin, I may offer you to live a better life and have a better purpose, if you become a Hakurei Shrine Maiden in return."
"What do I do as a Shrine Maiden?" I asked blankly.
"Maintaining order, abiding by the Spell Card rule system, and refraining from unnecessarily killing people unless they genuinely want to kill you and your loved ones."
"I don't have any." I replied blankly. "I already killed them."
"But we can be your loved ones in return, if you are willing to accept my offer." The Gap woman offered up a hand. "Training you to become a Shrine Maiden is not going to be easy to be honest, and you may face hardships along the way, but unlike your family, I'm willing to listen to your concerns and find solutions that both of us can agree on.
"If you're not interested, it's fine, and I won't bother you ever again. But if you agree, I can give you a life you wanted to have, provided you don't start causing trouble."
I was given a choice, a choice by this strange woman who not only offered me the chance to become a Hakurei Shrine Maiden and leave my old past behind.
The old me would have balked the idea of me possibly giving up my old life, but I didn't care anymore; I want to have a happy life to escape the pain and misery of my past.
I pulled out my hand. "I accept your offer."
She gently shakes my hand gently. "Very well then. By the way, what is your name?"
"I chose to discard my name and family a long time ago," I replied.
"What can I call you then?"
"Reimu."
"Reimu?" The blonde woman was surprised at that response. "The same purplenette that risked her life to protect Gensokyo despite being one of the remaining people of the Hakurei clan?"
"Yes, of course," I answered. "I heard stories about her and her exploits, and I wished that not only she was someone that actually cared about my well-being, but someone I wished to become to protect Gensokyo if I didn't grew up with my terrible family."
The woman grew silent for a moment before giving a hearty chuckle.
"Very well then, Reimu," the lady nodded. "My name is Yukari Yakumo, a Gap Youkai and mentor to help you become the next Hakurei Shrine Maiden."
As she escorted me to one of her Gaps, I felt something warm emerging in my heart.
Something I don't want to let it burn out after years of closing it for way too long.
And with that, my fate was sealed as I became the new Hakurei Shrine Maiden of Gensokyo, leaving my old life behind.
88
"And that's my story, Kosuzu," Reimu replied, the pain of recalling her memories still aches before meeting Yukari Yakumo.
The bookshop keeper felt shocked and sadden by her friend's past, especially in regard to her actual family being cruel and uncaring to her plight as part of the Youkai Hunting business.
"And what was your actual name then, if Reimu Hakurei your new name?"
The shrine maiden looked at her blankly before giving her a response. Kosuzu in turn have her skin turn sheet white.
"Reimu, I mean . . . just . . . just whoa, that's a lot to take in honestly." The book shop owner did whatever she can to keep her composure from breaking out of her. "Did Marisa found out that you were really a rogue youkai hunter, especially after the original Reimu Hakerei disappearance, especially before The Scarlet Mist Incident and the rest of the Incidents occured?"
"Not really, though I won't be surprised if she did."
"How many actually know your past, Reimu?" Kosuzu demanded, feeling concerned over what was really going on. "Including your actual name?"
"Other than Yukari, it would be Ran and Chen."
"But what about the Incidents you and Marisa keep resolving," Kosuzu stated with concern. "Was Yukari responsible for starting . . . ?"
"No, no, she didn't," Reimu clarified. "In fact, Yukari outright told me to pull my own weight when training and expected me to resolve Incidents on my own, with Yukari providing aid on Incidents too tough for me to handle. It's just that I let Marisa tag along out of her own volition."
"I see," the book shop owner sat down at her chair near the shop counter. "So, what about Kenzaki being in Gensokyo then?"
"After the Stained Torture Incident, I used the bell Yukari gave me not too long ago for help," Reimu explained. "Yukari offered to give me a boyfriend to continue the Hakurei line, especially with Marisa in critical condition from what had happened to her."
"However, Yukari alerted me already that Kenzaki might have plans on escaping Gensokyo with the help of Akemi's group." Reimu barely kept her cool over Akemi, something that concerns Kosuzu.
"Look, I know that you don't like Akemi, but she's concerned over Kenzaki's well-being," the book shop owner reassured her friend, much to the latter's chagrin. "You should tell her and her friends why you had Yukari gapped him in the first place. At least they can understand the situation a little better."
"Sorry, but I'm just concerned that Akemi won't listen and get Kenzaki out of Gensokyo anyway," Reimu replied. "And that's not getting into detail about how she'll respond to my troubled past."
"Oh, I see," Kosuzu sighed before her friend looked at her with a solemn expression.
"Do you hate me for what I had done in the past?" The Hakurei Shrine Maiden asked, her tone felt nothing but dead inside.
"No, I don't, Reimu," Kosuzu got out of her chair and hugged the emotional troubled young woman. "You grew up with a terrible life, that's all. And if you need someone to talk to, I'll be more than happier to listen, okay?"
Said young woman return the hug to her book-keeping friend. "Thanks, Kosuzu, for being a good friend to me. I just wished I spent time being with you more if not dealing with resolving Incidents."
"I know, Reimu, I know," Her friend sighed, wishing that Kenzaki declines the offer with return back to the Outside World.
While she knows that his family and friends from the Outside World would suffer from his disappearance, it is not when Reimu is suffering one of the worst depressions in her entire life.
And that is not getting into detail on what the Hakurei Shrine could do when she has nothing left to lose.
But as they continue to hug each other for some time, a familiar door opens again, causing the two young women to quickly get out of their hug.
Instead of a customer, it revealed to be none other than Kenzaki Hayashi, who felt quiet for a moment before noticing Reimu.
"Well, I'm already finished with my walk," the young man explained. "Are you okay taking me back to the Hakurei Shrine before it snows?"
"Sure, Kenzaki," Reimu nodded before turning to the redheaded girl. "I have to get going then, Kosuzu."
"Okay then, just have a good day, I hope," the bookshop owner said the last part to herself as the two left the store, leaving the redhead all to herself.
'Kenzaki, I know you wanted to return back home, but I recommend that you don't leave Gensokyo,' Kosuzu begged as she returned on her chair near the counter. 'I am begging for not only for your well-being, but Reimu's as well. Because no one wants to see Reimu go completely beserk.'
Kosuzu wanted to read a book just to distract herself, but with everything going on right now, her biggest fears is Kenzaki not wanting to stay in Gensokyo at all.
Omake:
"You need to have some spice in your romance, Reimu." Kosuzu suggested.
"Are you serious about this, Kosuzu?" The Hakurei shrine maiden glanced at her friend. "Because I don't know anything about dating works to be honest."
"While I did read some books on romantic advice . . . "
"Alongside reading several romance books and manga?"
"That too," The redhead prevent herself from blushing from embarrassment. "But I can provide you one thing?"
"And that is?"
"Treating your boyfriend like a normal person, and he will treat you like a normal person in return, that it." Kosuzu replied. "Keep this up, and he can most likely marry you and start a family."
Reimu gave a blank look at her friend. "Did you know what was going on between me and Kenzaki, and how he got gapped in the first place? Aside from that, not all relationships could end up like that."
"I kinda forgot, sorry." The book shop owner slumped with her head down; a depressing aura coming out of her while feeling stupid for not realizing what was going on, alongside not knowing how real relationships work.
'If Yukari was here, she'll be laughing nonstop over this, alongside providing her shameless remarks,' Reimu groaned, dreading the idea of the Gap Youkai popping out of nowhere to bring her brand of mischief with her (much to Reimu's chagrin).