Hey guys, it's been ages since I have even been able to take a glance at this site. My busy life has turned upside down and every time I want to write, I will always be preoccupied with something. I really hate it, truly, because it feels like I am always working. I know this is stuff you've heard before, but it goes deeper than that.
I'm being real with you guys and it's not easy to talk about this. At this point in my life, some former friends have drifted away from me and some uncomfortable distance has set in. You don't know me, but my friends mean the absolute world to me and I love them with all my heart. I care about them so much. I know that sometimes part of adulthood is that some people you think will stay in your life and will always be there, but people can betray your feelings and leave you very easily. It's difficult to continue to be gracious when they indirectly blow you off when you try to talk to them, drop off the face of the earth, and then act like everything is fine when they come back ages later. My mind has not been in such a dark place for a long while, where I felt unsure about the friendship I had with them. It is just a part of adulthood. Even though it hurts a lot, I'm learning to deal.
On top of that, I have been dealing with difficult people at work. I forget about how sensitive a place it is to deal with conflict appropriately. Dealing with it in an "adult way" is MUCH harder than it seems. You cannot pick and choose who you work with and sometimes those people will purposefully provoke you. Even when you try to be nice to them, they still give you a hard time or use an excuse to malign your character and work performance. Some people are like that and there's absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. Thankfully, I've come to understand how to be cordial and kind but also keep my distance. It's amazing what a year of experience will do.
My life has been such a chaotic whirlwind of events, it would take a long time to explain everything. From broken friendships to a new healthy lifestyle, from just adulting in general to SERIOUS family conflicts, from the management of a giant passion project to thinking about my educational future after getting my Associate's Degree, and a "special" relationship (my very first). It's been VERY difficult to steal myself away to my keyboard.
That being said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter that is LONG OVERDUE!
I can't say it enough, thank you guys so much for the love you have shown this story! It truly means the world to me!
Sincerely, TurtleTomboy!