3 Years and Two Hearts (A Sherliam Fanfic)

Summary: The Lord of Crime is in a phase of depression, it is the greatest Detective's job to take care of him. After forcing him to 'live' when London bridge has fall them down to the Thames. Sherliam Dedicated Fic (Both Anime/Manga timeline)

Note: so umm the fandom of Moriarty the Patriot whether alive or not, I just want to write this fanfic for Sherlock and William. Thank you for the kudos! Also I have been recently watching Sherlock BBC TV series UK. Damn, Sherlock did admit he is bi ohohohoho. *coughs* anyhow change topic! enjoy!

Chapter 2: A Study of Struggle

Resting his elbows to the bed and hide his face on it. "I need you Liam." Sherlock's voice starts to crack. 'Life is too boring to let go of this color I found in you.'

Sherlock falls into a depressing sleep in that sitting position where his head buried in his own arms trying to hide his tears.

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(("Heeeey wake up."))

A voice echoing in his ear drums.

(("Ooiiii~"))

But he ignored it.

(("Pssst!"))

Night time has reach it's duty. The lights were off earlier and somebody turned them on. The real owner have arrive and it is someone Sherlock knows. Which is why he did not bother to open his eyes.

(("Yohoo~ howdy senpai." ))

The pink haired boy whose actually an adult already noticed some visible eyebags with reddish touch from Sherlock's face. It looked like he cried and fell asleep. That's how unsightly he is right now.

"Hmmrr..." This voice is calling him continuously and it is pretty annoying. "Hnn..."

The voice is making audible sounds.

(("You'll catch a cold."))

Who cares? Is Sherlock's deeper mind protested unconsciously. The Sheriff let out a heavy sigh before he threatens him.

(("I'm going to tickle you."))

Not even threaten about that, the person gives him a cold remark.

(("Don't blame me if your body hurts in that kind of sleeping position. "))

Sherlock curt his eyebrows out of irritation. It is a face of a person whose being disturb in it's slumber.

"Hrrrmmgh."

Sherlock's face displaying right now is absolutely unhappy of being bothered.

Until the person had one last resort to gain his attention.

"Ok fine, if you don't wake up. I'm going to undress butt naked."

Like magic trap, Sherlock's ear twitch and it awoken him with a terrified voice.

"NOT LIAM!"

Jerking up his head with dull speed made him dizzy for a second, "ugh-" but he snaps his head to his surroundings.

Now wild awake. "Eh?" Before him is not William nor any enemy. It is just Billy the kid grinning at him.

Oh shoot.

"Ah-"

Sherlock had to blink twice before he completely recognize the person standing in his vision. Eventually he sees it, It's that American Sheriff little boy looking down at him with a triumphant grin.

"B-Billy..?"

Yeah, he is playing him like a fool right now. Billy is actually so amused of his reaction that he cannot help but cover his mouth.

"Pff-" and proceeds to laugh out loud. "Ahahaha! I knew it!"

Still half asleep, Sherlock cracks his head in confusion.

"Huh?"

The truth is...ever since Sherlock's head is whipped good by a falling wood plank, his reaction to things have become slow. Must be the side effect of getting his head hit hard that it bleed and cause an open space where a hair group is missing in his scalp. Not to mention his memory does time to time is hazy.

Going back on trying to read the situation why Billy is making fun of him. Billy notice the dumb founded face of Sherlock whose still in sleepy mode. Felt like it is time to drop the joke, Billy gladly says to him..."You," addressing Sherlock with his Cheshire cat grin. "You are so protective of Mr. Moriarty!" Shipping the two.

"Aww~ how fruity~" with a sneer at the end.

Sherlock made a face, he is now truly awake and he get it. He get the joke Billy is trying to imply. From his lying chair position, he straighten up his back and declared his dismay. "You know what Billy? I'm a little disappointed at you."

Billy won't deny that he is having fun right now teasing the detective. Apparently the detective is easily teased by jokes. For example if you question his credibility, he would start his deduction by profiling you until you get piss at him.

Surely if Sherlock wasn't an intelligent person, other kids would have bullied him for sure. He is very easy to embarrass.

"Ahahaha!"

Sensing Sherlock is now glaring at him, Billy drop the laughter to form a sorry face yet not so sorry either. "~Come on Mr. Ponytail! I was just waking you up."

Sherlock crossed his arms as he still glares at him. "Could have awoken me normally." Billy shrugs back, "I did, but you wouldn't flinch." Then shows his proud stance regarding his idea. "Got to go drastic measures!"

Sherlock can't sometimes keep up with this guy. "Now tell me, is that a joke?" It was an honest question from the taller man. Billy gave him an obvious shot. "Of course not. If we don't bathe he would stink."

It finally sinks in to Sherlock what is about to happen, why Billy is in hurry to get it done.

"Oh." The weather isn't cold at this time, it is the perfect time to wipe William's body.

Sherlock felt like he fail to do his part. If Billy has not reminded him, he would have forgot that the most important thing to our body is hygiene.

"Right." Clearing is throat.

Sherlock is that man whose scent is a cigarette and chemicals, he is a man who rarely take baths and be soak in his sweat due to being so focus on crime investigation or experiments. What more he sleeps at the dirty floor even if there is a carpet layer, still dirty.

Basically Sherlock actually smells like nightlife. Definitely if you hate cigarettes', you wouldn't want to be near how Sherlock smells with all the drugs he is onto.

Sherlock doesn't smell good.

Billy proceeds to show some spare clothes he bought up to Sherlock's view. "I don't have clothes that fits the length of but the upper clothing size is on same stretch." He put out a note that he does have plan to buy new pajamas that will fit Moriarty's size.

Billy pulls out a measuring tape and he measured William's sleeping figure. Watching how Billy is sincere on his promise to look after William in his behalf in times that he himself is tired. "Really? Thanks a lot Billy. That is a huge help."

Billy scratches the back of his head with an idiotic smile as he blushes in the gratitude of Sherlock. "Hehe, I really like it when you praise me on every little good deeds I do for you."

With that said, Billy grabbed William to sit up position. "Upsy-daisy!" But he was heavy. "Woah!" William's unconscious body wiggles to the other side of the bed. Billy catches him, "Whoops." And had a nervous laugh. "Ehehe..." He thought Sherlock would be mad but instead the man said onto him. "Let me help."

Glad the other was understanding in terms of his prowess strength to carry and pull a fully adult man like William is hard for a small person like him, Billy happily accepts. "Yes please."

Gently they have William's back to the wall bed. While Sherlock hold him in place, Billy proceed to unbutton his pajamas.

Sherlock eyes drops to William's pale skin. At first he felt pity. 'Marks...' The bandages being undone. 'Liam...' Not until he sees William's soft and pinkish chest. Something felt inside him was turned on.

Sherlock's eyes widen in fascination.

'What a good body.'

He silently thought to himself. 'Though he has become thinner and paler than before...' It made him remember the time they decided to bathe together in a hot spring. He was not able to see clearly of William's delicate body features due to the hot fog all over the place. But he was able to sit next to him during that hot spring and it was a bliss.

Billy's finger travelling to William's face, his neck, his collarbone, his armpit then his chest. The wet clothing making William's skin glossy. The man gulps down. Sherlock's eyes were glued on it. How he wish it was him touching those delicate porcelain features.

This sleepy beauty.

'...Ahh, I want him.'

Sherlock secretly biting his own lips imagining William's.

"There you go."

Sherlock's silent were cut out when Billy is done removing the upper part of William's clothing and is now attempting to pull the pajama pants off his legs. "Now it is time to undress you over here Mr. Moriarty." Sherlock is not prepared to see that. "Wait!"

Pausing, "What?" Billy arch an eyebrow. While Sherlock ask nervously. "Uhh...even below?" Billy shakes his head in disbelief. "Of course, don't be silly . We got to wash him down there too or...you know." There was a gap between their responses to each other. Sherlock gulps down again as he ask for permission.

"...Can I do it?"

Billy is mad now, he finally gets it. What is Sherlock's intention. "Excuse me?" He bet the man what's to satisfy himself. "T-That's so low!" Billy is looking at him similar to the eyes of John who thought of him as a scoundrel.

Immediately in defensive, "Hahh?! That's not what I meant!" Sherlock lost his composure and failed to convince the Sheriff. "It is difficult for you r-right?"

Billy isn't buying it. "Then what else does it suppose to mean you gay detective!" Oh no! The accusation of reality.

Sherlock made a flushed face, "W-what did you called me?!" He isn't denying it nor admitting it though. "I said you swing to ! Pervert!" Billy smirks, and Sherlock's ear went red. "...!"

Billy points at him, telling him to go away. "So I can't let you wash him! Not with that dirty mind of yours." Narrowing his eyes to the detective, "~Ohhh the lust."

Sherlock had to scratch his own head to remain cool about it. "You misjudging me Billy. If there is a trial, I'm going to make sure to condemn you."

Billy looks away. "So you do admit it huh~ I was never wrong then." Sherlock still pretending dumb about it, "Admit what?" Watching Billy pulling William's pants off, he said lastly. "That you know..."

Sherlock nervously laughs. "Woman are not in my area...and boyfriends are fine. But I'm married to my work!"

Explaining is useless though.

Sherlock averted his eyes and cleared his own throat as he is giving it up. "E-ehem." Billy showed his back in a manner of ignoring Sherlock.

Sherlock thought another one, a way he can make things clear to Billy. You know? About him and William's relationship. "Let me explain something that even an elementary can understand." Still Billy wiping William's thigh with wet clothing. "Ok, I'm listening." At least he responded.

'Phew.' Sherlock massages his own temples with a serious look at the floor. "Liam is special case."

Billy mocks him with a huff, "Special case, yes indeed. He is the Lord of Crime after all." Uhh..that wasn't very nice reaction. But anyhow Sherlock clasps his fingertips together to gather the energy from there not to smack Billy for bullying him right now. "You don't get it Billy. Liam...he gave me excitement."

Billy dared him in return. "Hohh? Prey tell detective."

This is where Sherlock relaxes his tense body for him to be able on properly display his obsession of affection towards William who he claim as a friend. Truly not romantic at all but it is more like infatuation. "My life is boring. So boring you know." Pressing his lips together as he began to recall it's sensation yearning something to make him feel alive. "The fact that I know everything right off the batt is terribly un exciting." Looking back then, life for Sherlock is hella boring.

Billy eyed him, "I know, they said genius people tend to get easily bored." Then goes back to work, he is now dressing William with the new pajamas. "So what's that has something to do with ?"

Sherlock made a proud grin. "He had read me."

"Huh? Billy blinks.

This is where Sherlock starts to fanboy about William. "Nobody is able to profile me correctly. Liam is the first person whose able to profile me properly besides my family of course."

Billy tilt his head in confusion. "Hm? But you are quite the open book to me right now." No matter where he look at Sherlock, this man is imposing his feelings out loud by his actions towards William. "Like here is an example how I read you." He can't fool anyone that he isn't madly onto William. "I know you are madly in love with ~"

Sherlock's face softens after hearing that, it truly is magical when you learn how to care so much like this for a stranger. "I guess he changed me." As he added his dark side to Billy the kid. "But back then, I was not anything near here you see right now." Billy is buttoning up William's new pajama.

"I was living a dead life. "Sherlock shakes his head as he lift his empty hands, retracing his own fiber of being here on earth. "Everyday is not even the slightness hard for me. No challenge, everything is really such an elementary problem. I look down of idiots like Lestrade, a police officer that am acquittance with." Sighing, "Everyone is stupid for me. But then he came to my life." Then smiling. "Liam is able to read me that my personality and approach is fake."

Billy grabs the brush and slowly brushes William's wet hair. "I never actually felt pity nor empathy whenever someone dies." Watching the detective give that creepy smile as he describes that crime makes his heart beat like crazy.

Sherlock admits the accusation that he is a somewhat psychopath.

"In fact it excites me."

Sherlock isn't hiding it, "I deeply wish someone gets murdered and hope it would become a hardest puzzle to solve." This is why Sherlock had no real friends in his own perspective. Every time people find out he likes people getting murdered so he can use his talent is pretty twisted.

"Then Liam showed me his first puzzling case in Noahtic incident." Although small candidates of people who accepted him for being twisted is Dr. John Watson, and of course...his enemy William James Moriarty. William exceeds his expectations than the rest.

"My brain tingles in bliss as I get that sweat in my skin if I can solve it." It felt like his heart is being heat up again by this excitement as he talks about it. "Like how far can I go deeper to it's mystery. Would I fail or would I easily solve it like the usual?"

Sherlock is no longer talking for Billy but for himself. "Liam made them almost impossible to solve." Clicking his tongue, "If Liam did not surrender all the evidence to me, if Liam had never tried to entertain me as I keep coming to him...I wouldn't have known he was the mastermind."

Billy who remained silent still brushing William's golden locks. "More like I know it was him but it was hard to get direct contact evidence that it was him behind all those noble death cases."

Sherlock nodding to himself.

"Liam is amazing, he is smarter than me. I wish back then to stand on the same horizon that he sees. Those complicated cases, how he controlled my movements like a puppet. The scarlet threads he attached to me is very interesting!"

Making a sad smile as he realize those days are over.

"Liam is...someone I can be just my real self. If Liam is with me, I can become a better person."

"Done."

"Eh what? Where you listening to all the thing I said Billy?"

Sherlock sees William all groomed and ready to be laid back in bed. "Yeah, I did and I cleaned while you were busy reciting your love speech project about Liam, Liam, Liam."

Patting William's shoulder's, Billy tells the sleeping man. "Here you go you are all groomed with a new pajama!" When he moved William, the obvious thing is that...William is only wearing the top part of the pajama, since the pants does not fit his size. Billy cannot help but feel funny about it. William's white skin legs are showing off dearly. "Pff, his thighs are showing." Checking again the pants of pajama, it was no use. "Hmm can't fit to the waist." Rubbing his head. "I guess I need to shop some clothes after all."

Sherlock yells at him.

"BILLY!"

"What?"

This is too much of glory view for him. Grabbing William and pushing him back to lie down as he remains asleep. "Just...just go back to your comrades now!"

Billy made a pervert look. "Hehh~"

'Oh good science! He is doing it again! To tease my feelings!' Sherlock having sweats on his forehead. "W-what's with you?" He is awfully nervous and Billy exactly knows why Sherlock is scolding him.

Understanding his assignment...Billy jumps out of the bed and went to the apartment's entrance door. "I will take my leave now and let you pamper his hair again. I mean, I'm not really good at petting someone's hair! Good nighty~!"

When the door opens, Sherlock turned red again.

"Hey-" he wants to chase this guy and just smack him for real this time. "I'm not a babysitter! Bye-bye!" But he escaped.

"Hey Billy wait up!"

The door closes.

LOCK.

"..."

Only him and sleeping William at the bed side.

Sherlock breaths in and out. 'Gaaaaah!' He made an inner scream before he composes himself. It was disturbingly awkward everything that just happened tonight.

"I guess let us do brush your golden locks...Liam."

Staring at the newly bathe William, indeed his skin became much better than before. Oh gosh they look so good to touch.

'So soft...those cheeks.'

Shaking his head.

'W-what am thinking?'

"Haahh..." Sherlock grabs the hair brush, touching William's hair strands...his eyes widen. "Liam your hair, how soft and your cheeks..?" It felt nice in his fingers, how he wish he can grab them harder as he makes William calls his name. 'Ahh...' It was a beautiful sight. Sherlock had never saw nor felt someone's hair like this from all the previous girls who tried to steal his heart and failed. William is just making him feel so different. "All nobles had soft hair but not as so soft like yours." Only Irene Adler passes that and of course William himself.

The moment Sherlock stared too much at the other guy, it looked somewhat attractive.

"Liam..."

BADUMP!

Sherlock covered his mouth. 'No,no! This isn't suppose to be!' Dropping the brush. Sherlock moves away as he felt his pent up frustration below throbbing. 'Calm yourself Sherlock Holmes! Liam maybe cute but it is no good reason to look at him this way while in a state of comma!'

Fighting the lust he felt as he see William beautiful defenseless figure. Sherlock pretended cool. "Now you relax to your bed your highness~" as he covers William with warm sheet. "You look better than earlier Liam."

THROB, THROB.

"..."

It is not working, it is not subduing.

'For just a bit...I...'

The temptation is there.

'Liam...'

There is no witness right?

'Liam.'

Without any second thoughts, Sherlock grab his own member and begins to massage it. "Aahhh yes...mmm.." He made sure he lower his voice to hide his own moaning. "Yes...yes..." His mind is full of that person he gets excited onto.

'Liam, Liam...'

THROB, THROB.

Breath in breath out.

'Liam,Liam,Liam...!'

Biting his lips as he pumps harder and faster while staring at William's asleep figure.

'I'm going Liam...!'

(( g a s p! ))

Snapping back to reality, Sherlock gasp for air. "D-Did I just...?!" Looking down at his now wet pants, where he did the deed.

"You horny little slander!" Getting angry at himself, Sherlock apologizes to the lamb. "Liam! I'm sorry-" well the person is in comma, it is all safe. "I..."

All the panic he felt went down and this time he breaths properly. "I'm kinda glad you are asleep in deep...in times like this..." Sherlock gave up and walk towards the restroom, opening the sink and washing his hands. 'Phew. I did masturbate to the person I have always wanted to go deeper with.' Then finding his haggard face in the mirror reflection. Look at that dry skin. 'Have I always look like this?' Sherlock is not aware that he is secretly stress with all these responsibility he had gain the moment he choose to pick William over everything of his career and family in London.

"Ohh.." Sherlock finally notice he got to look better too. "Time to take a bath myself."

After taking a nice bath, Sherlock really wanted to smoke. Getting himself a stick, he stop at his tracks as he remember you cannot smoke when a patient is available. "Maybe next time." Putting away his cigarette Sherlock in his white polo shirt and black trousers, sneaks besides William's bed.

Feeling comfortable by someone's side. The space is never wasted.

"Goodnight Liam."

Sherlock said at the ice figure with a small smile of being thankful he can be this close for too good as a reward to keep this criminal imprison to his grasps.

This is one bed policy after all, he had nowhere else to sleep. It felt like a dream until now that William is so close to him like this, what more in a bed!

Furrowing eyebrows. 'Damn.' Even though it is illegal, '...Just a little is fine right?' Sherlock cannot help it and kiss William's forehead.

It is something Sherlock isn't sorry for taking advantage of a sleeping person. His...

"Have sweet dreams, my old sport."

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It has been a week passed since Sherlock started living in Billy's apartment.

The work load in the local detective agency is increasing more and more that Sherlock ending up going home very late pass his dinner time.

"Aahh~ that was tiring. Damn." Sherlock opens the door and quickly lock it. Slowly he slides down to sit and rest his back at the door.

By this time Billy already got William proper size pajamas, only left is for Sherlock to get some groceries if he had strength that is...

"Uhh...I'm hungry."

GROWLS~

Well that sound louder than usual. Sherlock rubs his stomach as he feels stress. "Can't believe the day would come I will ask for food." Looking up the ceiling with wishful thinking.

GROWLS~

His stomach rumbled more.

(Sighs)'...I wish John is here.' Who would have thought he would miss John babysitting towards him? But he isn't near his assistant anymore. He had to gather himself for someone else's sake. "I'm truly hungry and tired." And that person is...

"Liam."

Getting back on track, Sherlock walks up with his remaining strength to look at William in his bed. Nothing have changed, he is still in a sleeping beauty state. For some reason, even though it is tiring...just by seeing William still alive makes Sherlock smile. "Liam, I'm back. How are you doing? Any nice dreams to share?"

Removing his detective coat, "Do you get hungry while sleeping?" Grabbing a glass of water and a bread that was left un attended in the kitchen table, Sherlock sat at the chair beside William.

"Billy said...I can't feed you nor make you drink liquid. It might choke you." Biting and munching the bread. "Also I can't let you have that luxury. After all you did wanted to die. You need to live with me Liam~" Drinking the glass of water. "Then again, maybe a little experiment suffice!"

Finishing his meal. "I'm kiddin' Liam! Don't make that dead eye fish face of disappointment. It steals my heart."

It is dead silent whenever night time comes.

'Really? For how long should I talk to a doll?'

Sherlock took out his wallet, his savings for William's medical and limited food access for himself. Heck, he haven't been able to buy new clothes. He is just borrowing clothes from the detective agency.

The old Sherlock would have been prideful and decline any help. But the Sherlock who was created by William is a person who will suck up his pride and he will make sure that his beloved Lord of Crime will be in a good care. "I'm going to eat a proper meal now. Talk to you later Liam."

Going to the kitchen, Sherlock cook himself a small portion of rice and some carrot soup. Sherlock didn't really care if it taste burnt or taste bland. After all he smoke, his sense of taste were pretty distasteful in the first place.

Showering and wearing again his sleep attire.

Sherlock slowly pull the sheets of their bed and snuck himself in besides William.

"Goodnight Liam..."

Brushing some of William's hairlocks, Sherlock kisses again his forehead.

'Is this enough...?'

Suddenly Sherlock wants to question himself, all his efforts...is it working?

Staring intently to William's un faze face.

'Liam...I wish you open your eyes soon.'

Sherlock forgot his boundaries and grab William's cold hands. He grips on them as if he was making a prayer for comfort.

'Liam...I don't think I can handle this torture of silent treatment.'

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Birds chirping in Sherlock's ears, he squint his eyes from the sunrays reflecting through the white curtain. Yes, Morning came up and still William is not moving nor any signs of waking up. "Hhmrr~" Sherlock stared at William's figure for a while before he slowly blinks and notice the curtains fluttering.

'The window is open...?'

One guy in mind.

"...Billy?"

No response.

"Billy are you here?"

When Sherlock went to the kitchen a note is placed in their table with a fruit basket.

"To Ponytail." Reading the letter, Sherlock spats out of irritation. "That brat." Because the letter contains the following words: To Ponytail and his married wife.

Like why Billy? Just why?

Sherlock shakes his head as he feel funny about the note and effort to leave him a fruit basket.

Deciding to check the fruit on the said basket, there are grapes, apples and oranges. "Hey Liam! Want some fruit?" Tossing the apple in the air and catching it himself as he get a knife on his other free hand. "I'll peel you some~ fruits in America are surprisingly tasty."

Taking a plate in front of William, still pretending that this other guy can hear him. "I can't wait till you taste it too."

Munch, munch.

Tick, tock, tick...tock.

Sherlock had gone so relax on eating the fruits until his eyes landed on the watch wrist he wears.

"-Oh shit!"

Sherlock never had a pocket watch with him, which is why he makes John his walking clock. But the agency gave him a peculiar wrist watch that he must wear at all times. He isn't getting use to it yet. He even forgot it was there, but look at the time! It is pass his shift!

"It's this time already?! Dammit, I'm going to get late at work!" Quickly grabbing his detective coat, forgetting to brush his unruly tied up hair. "Sorry Liam! Duty calls!" Banging the door loud when it closes. "I'll get to you later...!"

Slam!

"..."

Even for a little...William's eyes twitched.

...

At the meeting spot for today's mission.

"Oh guys! He's here!" His co workers wave their hands to get his attention, especially Billy. "Yahoo ~over here!" Quickly grabbing Billy's collar. "Billy! You little cunt, why did you not woke me up when you went home early this morning?!"

Billy makes an innocent face in response. "Eh? I mean I couldn't." Letting go of Billy's collar, Sherlock is puzzled of what he is saying.

"What do you mean?"

Billy told him the story. "Uhh..when I went back to our apartment you were sleeping peacefully while hugging that person."

They made an agreement of no name drop policy if they would like to talk about a certain Moriarty.

"Eh-"

Oh man, that is embarrassing as hell!

"So I couldn't disturb you two!"

Billy with happy flowers behind, Sherlock is ashamed of his actions. "P-please don't say it so loud...Billy.." it will sound like he is taking advantage of William's comma state for those hugging, kissing, brushing...

'Somebody kill me already!'

Meanwhile the other colleague ears went to pry in. "What is this? What is that? you got a live in partner?!" Everyone got excited.

Sherlock had to stop them before it is too late. "Wait, hold up!" But it is too late!

"Yes! Our is living in with his beloved-"

"Billy don't you speak things like that!"

Billy pushes him away. "Why not? Isn't the truth? You and that person love each other right? Which why you decided to stay with-" Covering Billy's mouth.

"Bloody Billy! I Swear I'll make a pirate of you!"

"Hmmppff!"

The senior detective chuckles and offer them a drink. "Now, now give some slack Billy." Giving Sherlock's portion. "Come let's have a drink." Sherlock accepts it. "Sure. Thank you."

Today they just talk about plans, but the actual operation does not start till tomorrow. Sherlock will take this opportunity to relax.

"Hehe."

But he is with Billy.

"What is it?"

Billy already grinning wide, he probably had another terrible joke. "Say~" Sitting closer to him, Billy tugs him with the elbow. "If that person wakes up, like what if scenario! Are you going to confess?"

Sherlock chokes. "C-Confess what?!" Wiping his lips, Billy crosses his arm. "Are we playing dumb now~? Really?"

Sherlock made flat response this time.

"Liam...he's, he isn't like that." Surprisingly calm and not being sway by his teasing method. "Eh?"

Sherlock put his index finger to the wine and stirs it. "...He did said he felt the same, but Liam is very conservative of people. I don't think he can handle that kind of reality."

Billy is aggravated.

What a very disappointing answer!

"Don't say that!"

"Eh? Billy-"

Wondering what made Billy so worked up, Billy told him right away. "He did desire to be by your side on his last moments right?! That's the story you told me back in the ship! So you guys did feel the same! I'm sure!" Well, Sherlock can say he was speechless. "You sure are very supportive Billy."

Billy nods back, "Let's say I have a bestfriend too. However our recognition of friendship differs from the friendship you are displaying towards him." Smirking, " whose lovesick."

Sherlock pulls his own hair, "Arrrggh!" His head is all tangled. "I will just drink this feelings!"

Everyone just laughs at dumb things there, they are nice group of people towards Sherlock.

"Cheers!"

CLANG!

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CREAK~

Night came, drunk.

Same view every time Sherlock returns home. It was like a routine he had to choke up.

It was suppose to be something he is used to, however this situation hits differently to him.

"I'm back home Liam..?"

The lights were off this time, did not even bother to open them up. You can hear his footsteps at the wooden floor. He stop his tracks the moment he reaches William's bed.

"...I guess still ignoring me."

During the time Sherlock is alone in 221B, where he did not have John as his room mate.

Before...Sherlock had always been onto his own world. Meaning to say Sherlock is always alone. He eats alone, he sleeps alone, he works alone and he sits alone then proceed to play his violin whenever he feels disturbingly emotional.

Ever since he met John Watson who became his room mate, his daily routine changed. John made sure he will be greeted 'Good morning' every damn time. Sometimes Sherlock finds this annoying and over caring...but now Sherlock is back being alone where nobody welcomes him back. He realizes the importance of someone whose like John. A motivator and a good companion.

Now he misses it.

John also made sure they eat together for breakfast and even at lunch.

But Sherlock chooses William over all those things he had in life.

"That is right, I choose you Liam." In exchange getting to be with his William, Sherlock abandon his elder brother Mycroft, his bestfriend John and whose like a mother figure to him. Even Lestrade whose actually a good friend too.

And yet...

"Why do I feel so alone? Is this what you felt too Liam?"

William is depress even though he had such a loving fake big brother Albert James Moriarty and his real sibling whose his little brother Louis James Moriarty. Still even having such blessings William wants to be drop dead.

Sherlock feels it, another crack in his resolve.

'Even though you were here...but since you are not awake at all. It feels freezing Liam.'

He is a human that still needs human affection in the end. "I feel so lonely." Kneeling at the floor as he rested his arms to William's bed, he looks like he was praying again. "How long do you plan on sleeping you dimwit?" Reaching William's face, pressing his fingers to William's cheek.

It is cold yet it is warm too. There is still hope, Sherlock tried to convince himself. Maybe because he was drunk he say mean things.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning on trash talking you but...it is already a month passed you still have not move an inch."

The wind blows.

WHOOSH~

"Are you listening to me Liam?"

Sherlock begins to cry. "Liam..." Sherlock sobs his name, he was yearning for him.

"...Liam...please." it is very unmanly of him, but this is too much to bare right now. It is quite stressful enough to make him feel so emotional to cry like this. It hurts his heart and soul so much.

"I think am going nuts...!" Clutching his head, it started to hurt again. "Dammit...Liam."

And so Sherlock fell asleep at the floor drunk and stinky.

...

26 days had passed William James Moriarty still acting dead.

Here he is on the alley of their detective agency smoking a stick. Sherlock is in a bad mood.

His mind occupied of his personal feelings than the recent case he has to solve to maintain his job.

'Is he never gonna wake up..?' Sherlock starting to doubt if talking to a person in comma state is even worth to assume that they can hear their love ones voice.

Or could it be because William doesn't love him enough so he cannot really hear him?

'Could it be...Liam does not care about me after all?'

Dark and negative thoughts starts to plunge Sherlock's heart and mind.

"Ow!"

His ear and head ringing again.

Gritting his teeth together as he felt so frustrated about being unable to change his daily struggles.

"Tsk, another stupid headache!"

Out of spite, Sherlock kicks the trashcan that happen to be beside him.

KICKS!

BAM!

Sherlock is running a tantrum, you have seen this before. He would randomly shot the walls because he isn't getting what he wants.

"Grrr...dammit, dammit. Damn this!"

Continuing to kick harder on the poor trash bin.

BAM! BAM!

'Dammit! Is my love not enough for you Liam? Or is it too overwhelming that you can't take it?!'

Sherlock bites his cigarette and spits it at the floor while clutching now his own hairlock bangs. "Tell me God, if you exist...what should I do to wake Liam up?" Tears swelling, he suck it up and looks above the gloomy sky. "What should I sacrifice besides the people I have abandon?" Then slamming himself to the wall.

"What else besides my life should be offered just for Liam...my Liam to wake up!?"

Clawing his fingernails to the cold brick.

"Answer me!"

Sherlock's head continue to throb badly until everything just went dark.

(("Mr. SHERLOCK! STOP!"))

((g a s p))

...

"B-Billy...?"

Did he just called him by his name? Sherlock is in frenzy state right now. Nothing make sense to him, everything is just his build up anger and resentment. He look at his side with Billy's bothered face. "You are hurting yourself. Stop that."

Billy did not move an inch near him, just there standing and watching his crazy side. And he is right not to come near Sherlock, he is being mean like how he acted against John. "Why do you care...? It's my problem to feel this way Billy. It has nothing to do with you!"

Billy glares at the floor though. "Hmp, it does concern me." Then scolds him, "After all my effort resurrecting you guys you'd think I let you both die easily? Of course not! Nobody leaves my hook!" Grabbing Sherlock's collar and slamming his back to the wall, "Take this you bastard!" it woke Sherlock up back to his sense. "Ow!"

'Why am...throwing my pent up frustrations to this guy? This guy whose also named William...Henry...or Billy whatever...'

Billy is trying to find Sherlock's eyes. The man suddenly let out a creepy laugh.

"Hehe...hehe..hahaha!"

Billy blinks and to his surprise Sherlock's menacing eyes from earlier is gone back to normal shade of blue.

"Thanks Billy."

Decided not to point out so much to not embarrass the shameful acts of the detective, Billy just smiles back.

"You are welcome."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

After cooling his head...Billy and Sherlock both got home. Billy decided to go home with him together to make sure Sherlock's mental state is also in check. When they returned to the apartment, Sherlock said he needed to smoke a bit and never came back. Billy can guess where the man could be at this hour, so he went to the highest floor.

"There you are."

Sherlock just nods his head in acknowledgement of Billy's presence.

"Hmm."

Here at the rooftop.

"Nice moon isn't?"

The stars were visible yet Sherlock can't even notice it. His blue solemn eyes were contemplating ahead somewhere Billy cannot reach.

Billy reaches the rooftop's supporting edge in a manner to join Sherlock view the New York City.

"Smoking here at the rooftop ey."

"Hmm."

Another lazy response, Billy sighs.

"What's wrong? Did you have an argument with Mr. Moriarty even if he is unconscious?" He is now pouting at the lack of response from the other.

Sherlocks blows his cigarette and finally talks back. "Liam doesn't like the smell of cigarettes you see." Sherlock taking another sip like it's a pipe of weed. "Can't have him smell it."

Billy giggles, "Well that is sweet of you."

Sherlock did let out a smile upon that compliment. "Hmm..yeahh."

The night stars were glowing and the wind sure is cold up here.

There was no words exchanged after that silly joke.

Eventually Billy decided to cross the line. The curiosity had always been lingering there but he is afraid to offend the two wounded and twisted hearts.

He finally dares to ask it.

"Do you regret it?"

Sherlock froze.

"...?"

Slowly turning to meet Billy's eyes as he kept the question to insist an answer. "Do you regret abandoning everything in order for you to live in with ?"

Sherlock's eyes were growing wide as if Billy is poking to his sensitive reality of how heavy it has been this responsibility.

"Is it worth it?"

As Billy ends his question...Sherlock threw the cigarette at the floor and step on it. He took a deep breath and he can feel the tension growing on Billy's curious shoulders. So he finally decided to answer with no hesitation.

"...It is worth the price." Billy is surprise again, he did not expect this man to be so hopeful. Yet again Sherlock is a detective, he isn't basing things out of hope. It is through analysis. So he began to explain how he feels right now about him and William's unknown future together. Then he added"...However if that guy have no intentions of waking up...It would be a terrible problem for me." Staring back to the little Sheriff.

"I did told you right Billy?" Then above the glimmering stars. "This world without Liam is not worth living for." Sherlock begins to mesmerize the whole ordeal. 'That's why I couldn't let him die alone. Because I cannot bare the thought of continuing to live knowing that one in a million rare person who is in the same wave level like me actually existed.' It is something he kept to himself before he looks back at Billy with a smirk.

"Now that I found him Billy, now that I found that kind of person for me. I have caught him now. There is no way I would let go."

There was a will power to it, like an oath.

"Not ever again."

.

.

.

'That is right...the last time I have let go...the time I failed to stop it.'

.

.

.

Dark memories resurfaces, in a form of smoke. Where...Sherlock's mother was divorced by their father.

Sherlock is too young to experience such loneliness from a care of mother.

[Mama! Don't go!]

Young Sherlock caught his mother's edge of dress. However the faceless lady kneeled down to tug away his fingertips to her clothing.

[Sherly...I'm sorry, but your father won't let me stay.]

Hot headed as always, young Sherlock cries out.

[Papa?! Why would you do this to Mama?! You terrible beast!]

[ENOUGH Sherlock!]

His father screamed at him, his face of law must be followed at all cost. His father with no hint of pain exposes him the truth.

[Your mother is a drug addict, she is not your mother anymore!]

The two used to be married loving couples argued before him.

[You woman leave at once! I won't let you influence my sons with drugs...! With that addiction of yours corrupting the minds of youth!]

He saw it...he saw the threatening eyes of his father against his mother. Sherlock's mother gave up though, she held his shoulders to calm down.

[Listen Sherly...]

Still sniffing with tears.

[Mama, I want to go with you. Please-]

His mother took out a skull ring and handed it to his small hands.

[Here take this ring.]

Wonder why of all shape, why...

[A skull...?]

Sherlock's mother giggles and for the last time fixes the strands of hair that covers his face. His mother wanted to savor his face one last time.

[Yes, think of this skull ring as me. I'm sure you'll be a great detective someday.]

Young Mycroft his elder brother shouted.

[Sherly! Don't make father angry anymore! Come back here!]

Looking at his brother, confuse why they won't side with coming to their mother.

[Mcky...]

Before he knew it, his mother have let go of him and vanishes.

[Farewell Sherly.]

[Don't leave me! I don't want to let go!]

Sherlock chased after.

[If you are going to die somewhere far Mama, I'll come with you!]

Until he trips and fall to the grass and whimpers.

[I love you...mother.]

.

.

.

.

.

((g a s p!))

'...where?'

Sherlock found himself in their agency office sofa. He seem to have been resting.

"You finally woke up." Seeing Billy with a worried look, Sherlock slowly sits up as he clutches his head. It felt like it was hurting before but now it doesn't. Something isn't right. "What happen to me Billy...? Why are we at office? Isn't our day off?"

This incident is already another day had pass according to Sherlock's memory...and it is.

However one thing he cannot comprehend...

"Huh...?"

Sherlock notice Billy fist were getting upset. "You are not ok." the Sheriff avoids eye contact. Sherlock got curious about what's up with Billy not acting so cheerful. "Why? What is it? Spill the beans!"

Billy carefully find words to tell him. "Your memory is becoming hazy isn't?" Finding pity in his eyes, Sherlock went silent. "It has to be that head injury you have." Gathering some basis of Sherlock's declining health condition. "I mean look, a month has passed right? Yet your scalp behind still visible. You need to have more hair at that scar in head."

Sherlock got angry. "What! Why you didn't told me much earlier that am exposing a scalp at my head?!" He fears getting bald than his health actually!

"I look stupid by it!" Sherlock tend it to be a comedic pun, however it did not work. Billy still had a serious face. "...what are you look at with a serious face?" Then made him think something he would do if he was asleep like this. "Did I murmur in my sleep?"

His detective guess are always correct. "You were having a nightmare." Billy admits and shares to him what he have heard. "You said things like...you don't want to let go. Stuff like that."

They both went silent as they stared at each other. "I see." Is the only energy Sherlock can response back.

Billy tries to change the topic too, he did not want to be all sad about it. "Will you be alright for today's work? It is lunch time when you suddenly have an awful headache and as you could tell already you collapsed so I place you here at the sofa."

But he knew Sherlock is a stubborn person.

"I need to work Billy-"

"For Liam, Liam, Liam. I know."

Billy knows he cannot stop this man for loving the other so much, but he cannot stand that this Sherlock Holmes is doing too much that he is getting himself in bad condition. So he snaps at Sherlock whose taken back by his outburst.

"But what is the point of doing all these if you'll end up exhausting yourself?! Think about it ! If you die and actually woke up by that time...he will be all alone and I bet he will suicide again...!"

He isn't dramatic, these are facts.

'Billy is right.' Sherlock rest his back to the sofa and rested his face to his own palm. He puts pressure on them as he ponders. '...With my sassy ass I ask Liam to live. Yet I act like am going to my oblivion by declining my health like this.'

Sherlock is not good at apologizing about how he made Billy worry about him, so just like how John have worry for him...he opens his one hand, gesture to take something towards Billy.

"Medicine."

"Eh?"

Releasing a rest assured smile on his tired face, "Give me pain killers or head trauma medicine Billy! Whatever needs to keep me healthy."

Billy is happy to hear that.

"Alright!"

...

3 months Later...

[I had continued working for the local Detective Agency not realizing 3 months had pass since then. I would have never thought that day is the day I have been waiting for...]

Tap, tap, tap.

[That...he...]

"I'm home Liam-"

The bed is empty.

Sherlock is in a state of shock as his spine went cold.

Walking towards the bed with something missing on it.

He was to suppose to be laid in bed all these time!

"Li...-"

[My heart pounded in a huge panic.]

Seeing the window open, how the curtain flutters.

"That...guy...!" instinctively Sherlock looks out the window expecting a certain body must have drop there.

"Liam!" But there was nobody there.

Oh...? If he didn't jump, where could he be then...?

"...Liam?" Looking at their restroom, their kitchen. William is not here at all. Sherlock's head throbs as he overthink. 'He must have run away then?' Finally Sherlock notice something else is gone from this apartment room.

William's cane.

It's not there, so meaning he isn't taken to the authorities' nor been abducted.

"The cane is missing."

This means he went out right?

'At that condition?!'

"That imbecile!"

Frantically opening the door, Sherlock made his way to the apartment's cafeteria. (("Hahh,hahh...!")) Catching his breath, it felt like Sherlock run with all his might. Panting from running, Sherlock is terrified of the idea...that maybe William must have decided to... 'He didn't ditch me did he?!' Reaching the pantry at the ground floor. 'Where are you Liam...? Dang it.' Eyeing each one of the people whose minding their own business eating meals. Sherlock is sweating cold on his forehead, William is not here either!

Pressing his lips together as it trembles.

'Don't...do this to me Liam!'

Sherlock prayed a chant inside his head as he run to the exit of the Pantry which lead to outside of their apartment building.

'Liam,Liam...!'

Hoping William is around somewhere this building's area reach.

'Make it in time Sherlock! Faster! Run like you have never run before!' Such a familiar sensation when he chased William at the london bridge. "Damn!"

If William is not here, he must have gone outside totally walking patient out the streets. Even if it is New York, it's still dangerous...!

'What is that guy thinking?! What if someone recognize his face?' Or...or...William would kill himself somewhere far from Sherlock's reach to stop him! '...That guy is mentally unstable!' Outside their building, he looks above the windows and to his surroundings just to check any signs of William.

"You okay mister?" An old mind ask him whose at the front door too. Snapping his head, perfect timing. "Have you...seen.."

Sherlock is shaking in his voice. "Like...! A guy whose blonde hair with an eye patch?!" The old man shakes his head and said, "Nobody has leave the building since last night. So if that person you looking for passes by here to go out. I won't miss him, so no. Nobody of that description have gone out."

A short relief spread to Sherlock's inside. The old man statement had no stutter nor suspicious Body language on it. This means William is inside the building probably hiding on which floor he is yet to found out.

Is William playing hide and seek with him?

"Thank you."

When Sherlock thank the old man he went back inside.

Jogging through the staircase one more time. 'I have to find him quick before he have weird ideas to take his life again...!'

Calling out his name in each room he passes by.

"Liam! Answer me! Where are you? Don't hide! Nobody's going to hurt you...!"

Some kids in the apartment gave Sherlock a weird look but thankfully they ignored him. In this country people doesn't seem like they want to help at all, which is good. Sherlock doesn't want anybody to know the face of William except Billy is an exception.

As he reach the lounge floor. "Liam where are you?" Almost out of breath, a caretaker passes by a food cart in her hands. Sherlock stops the woman's track just to ask, "Excuse me, have you seen a blonde haired guy with eye bandage roaming here? Perhaps with cane too?"

The woman blush as Sherlock looks fine for her. "Eh? Uhh..." then she remembered that did saw someone that fits the description. "Ah! Yes." She happily shared, "I think that person went upstairs after going down stairs here asking where he was. After that he quickly went back to the higher floor."

Sherlock narrowed his eyes. 'Upper floor...?' Clarifying what she said. "You mean the rooftop?" The caretaker nod with confidence. "Yes." Then Sherlock did not waste time and dashes away as he wave goodbye to the lady. "Thank you so much!"

Running again up the stairs from ground to 5th floor. There is only one thing why William will go up the rooftop right? If he wanted some fresh air, the air is fine inside the apartment...and yet he left to go to the rooftop with his cane? Such effort?!

'He cannot be thinking about jumping again!'

Sherlock cursed under his breath as he reaches the rooftop door. "You pain in the ass...!" Opening the door a sudden gust of wind greeted him.

WHOOSH~!

"Khh...!" He covering his eyes as the wind died down a bit. "...J-Just the wind." Taking a deep breath and inhaling them out. 'Alright.' Sherlock composed himself then made a stealth approach to search William in this wide rooftop.

White laundries hanging all over the place. It smell like soap and detergent. Smells good to be exact, feels relaxing up here unlike when he smoke without laundry present. It just a plain rooftop like any building near it.

It's early in the morning, the birds were chirping. The weather is very nice. However there is a lot of obstacle, Sherlock grunts as he mentally whined. 'Too many laundry right now.' Deciding to find out if he is alone, he calls out. "You are still here right? Answer me-"

The laundry clothing flap like some curtain in stage plays presenting itself to Sherlock.

A figure with it's back.

"...!?"

A familiar pajamas and another layer of clothing covering it's shoulders from cold. Eyes widen he saw it briefly.

Yes...In this hospital roof, a man standing there...looking below it's surface.

It's him.

Sherlock noticed William did have the cane with him, no wonder he was able to roam around in this situation of his.

"Liam...?"

There he is.

Whoosh~

The other did not say anything, but he was readying himself for Sherlock to approaching him. The wind continues to blow and their ears can hear it clearly.

The sound of this smoothing wind.

Whoosh~

William whose acting mute, proceed to sit at the available bench rather than responding to Sherlock's question.

The breeze is very gentle, the panic Sherlock felt earlier vanished into thin air and is replaced with a huge relief.

"...I thought you have ditch me." He says.

"..." William is still not speaking, what more his eyes are closed as if he is trying to meditate.

Sherlock then sat beside him, just the two of them at the available bench to appreciate the wind blowing their hairs.

"Thank you...Liam."

Hearing his savior's voice, finally William moved his mouth.

"...I should be the one thanking you Sherly."

Sherlock's ear tingles. It felt like centuries since the last he heard William's voice. William's voice is somewhat different right now though, it sound hoarse and weak. But his attention is much more focus on how William called him by his nickname meant he has no plans to become a stranger after all what happened. "...It is as you said," the patient continued to speak to him as if this topic is much more important than greeting each other a long time no see setting. "...death is not an atonement."

Sherlock lend his ears. He decided not to comment, he stared at his William. His fragile William actually speaking out his true feelings. "I just...wanted to avert my eyes of my sins."

Sherlock's eyes glimmers.

'~Ahh Liam...why are you so delicate?'

Sherlock can't help but stare at him, now that this person is awake.

He is very concerned how William looks so thin and same time he finds him very adorable for being vulnerable. Because this can give him permission to embrace the other guy.

He wants to hug him for comfort.

"And..." William's voice decreasing it's volume as he confesses. "It is because of you, I truly feel that way from the bottom of my heart."

There was a pause.

"But..."

And Sherlock did not expect such an honest worry out of William's mouth. It did not sound intelligent and dominant unlike before.

"It is blank."

'Eh?'

William looks above the sky, expressionless. "...I've never even once thought about it. That my story would have a continuation..." then he gaze down with a dark face. "It's so unseemly of me Sherly..." William held up his two hands and he touch his own broken wrist from the fall. They no longer hurt but it is not functioning either. As if William wants to bite his own lips, it is shameful to admit his weakness in front of Sherlock yet same time...he wants to be properly look at by his one and only detective who risk his life for him so that he could live on and face his tomorrow.

But what tomorrow? He did not have any tomorrow.

"So...I don't know what should I do from here on."

Sherlock's jaw drop but he mentally refuses to reply. 'This guy...he's confused of what he is supposed to do. Oh Liam...' Just not yet, there is more onto William's confession right now. He cannot stop him from speaking his thoughts just yet.

Let it be a perfect timing to reply.

"No, to be precise." William let a sarcastic tone escape his lips. "I know what I must do..."

Sherlock clench his fingers to the bench support.

'I want to embrace your sadness Liam.'

William chuckles, "But as of right way to go about carrying out that duty...right now I have no answer."

Sherlock heart is beating fast. How badly he wants to protect William.

'If only I can erase all of it. But that's not how the world works.'

William in a mellow tone explained his part. "All this time, I have never been interested in myself as a person."

Sherlock hate hearing it.

"And so when it came to my own self...I suddenly do not know what to do."

Oh no, William looks so sad. Sherlock is reaching his limit.

'That's why Liam, I will suffer with you. You and me...together like this. Remain dead in the eyes of public.'

But then, this guy...he looks above once more as his red eyes spark a light with a straight face confessing his feelings to Sherlock without any embarrassment.

"...But the one thing I knew for sure, that I enjoyed being with you."

"...!"

William thought of it deeply as he look back. "Meeting you," at that golden ratio staircase, "Had changed my world." He feel it at his fingertips to touch his broken left wrist during his suicide attempt and then travelled his hands to his chest. He clutch on his heart.

"That day, when you saved me..."

Sherlock thought shortly, yes he is reminded of that suicide letter. 'Ahh...yes, just like his letter back then.' More like a love letter actually. 'We feel the same way. We cannot escape this feeling of mouse chase to each other.'

They were meant for each other, it was that roaring feelings since the start of their great game.

Everything flutters free in their background, just the two of them chilling.

William is let it all out.

"My world became filled with colors." It was overflowing. That even someone like me had a heart." An emotion he never felt before. "That's what came to my mind." William is suddenly hopeful. "...and now everything feels so dear to me." Sherlock made him felt treasured. It was an explainable type of love he felt, truly different from the love he received from his brothers.

"This world is truly beautiful isn't...?"

As William admit his feelings were mutual to Sherlock, tears fell from his injured eye.

Sherlock shakes his head as he let out a funny smile.

"Liam..." it is now the time he must response to this guy. "Although you have a past and present." standing up from the bench. "All this while...you never had a future." Stretching's his arms above, Sherlock spins to face him and gave him a flirty wink. "Ain't a blank canvas just spiffin'?" William went stiff. Watching Sherlock goes near him as he tells him a solution.

"You can paint whatever you like."

There he is, standing so near his eye view.

'Sherly...?'

The revealing scarred face of William James Moriarty, his left eye iris does not produce any light on it. Sherlock still stared to his soul, did not even comment about he now got an ugly markings in his left side of his face. William is afraid to be rejected if Sherlock sees in clear view of his beautiful face from before now and then. Yet the detective eyes never had disgust nor disappointment.

Instead it was colorful.

William admire the man facing him. 'He is...looking straight at me. This someone like me whose clinging to life.'

Sherlock widen his gentle smile that he can only show for William. "If it's an answer you've have arrived at after a struggle. Then no matter what it is, it will be the right one."

William's eyes widen more when Sherlock just knelt before him like he was proposing his loyalty towards him.

"So struggle on Liam. You've taken your first steps towards living. And if you were able to take that step...Then am sure you can paint any kind of future." William's blind eye along with his working eye, both produce tears and he just lost it. "Sherly...I..." William starts to sob until he is literally crying while his lips are shut close, trembling from unstoppable heart felt.

"Say no more Liam."

Sherlock moves closer to cup his cheeks. "I'm always here for you." With his thumb softly pinching to the formerly scary Moriarty's red cheeks. "From here onwards."

William can't believe he is alive to hear this, the fact he can see the sincerity to Sherlock's face. He was in his mercy. Sobbing...

"I will be a pain in your butt Sherly."

Is suppose to be a warning, but Sherlock chuckles.

"Did already."

Another attempt to discourage him, William sniffles.

"It will be hard and complicated to be with me Sherly."

Sherlock nods back.

"I have seen and experience that."

William mentally thoughts to himself.

'It is no use...this man is beyond logical reasons to make me the most important thing in this whole world that I have renew.' William huffs and revealed his prettiest smile as tears continue to blur his vision and soaking his face so wet. Feeling the droplets to Sherlock's hand which is still holding his face up ahead to the other.

"You...you so promise right?"

"Yeah, I swear it with my life Liam."

Sherlock proceed to stand up from kneeling position to lower his sight to William's red eyes. William is obviously scared of their future together, with those puppy eyes he childishly ask.

"For real?"

Sherlock laughs at it.

"Liam? Really? I just jumped with you on your dying wish crap. Is that really how you would like to ask...?"

Sherlock is so bright, he was William's light.

With little bit of shyness, William mumbles.

"...Sherly, Truly I...lo...v.." only to get himself pulled closer to the man's arm. "Come here."

Sherlock just hug him.

"...!"

It is the same embrace he made when they fall off the Thames.

Patting William's soft hair to calm him down, Sherlock joked. "Feels warm right? You feel warm too." William kept crying like he is a defenseless little child and Sherlock understood it very well. Moriarty needs him at this time of breaking down his shell. "Liam, we have lived." Sherlock whispered. "Together from now on...we will live." William's hand tremble as he buried his face to Sherlock's chest.

"I...can't decide right now Sherly, but as long as you promise you'll bare with me. I will try my best. Though I shall not promise." William ended up hugging him back.

His fingers clutch tightly to Sherlock's back. It felt like he is clinging to life, shaking as he continue to shed tears. Sherlock rested his chin to William's head.

"I got you Liam. I caught you remember?"

Tightening the embrace. "So...Everything will be okay."

A weak nod from William making sniffles in his nose. "Okay Sherly. I believe you."

The two remain in that position until William's crying died down.

...

Their eyes glued at each other's face like an agreement to just stare before they utter both of their nicknames.

"Liam...?"

"Sherly...?"

Pulling away from the embrace, Sherlock lifted William's chin to his. "No matter how many times you fall, I'd always catch you." Ending it with a wink. "You beautiful Lord of Crime." It mad William blush. "Uhh.."

More like...

William felt dizzy all of the sudden after feeling his face heat up from Sherlock's sweetness.

"I-I feel a bit light headed now." Sherlock snorts, it was cute how William is still trying to hide his blushing face. "I'll go back to bed Sherly."

Slowly William grabbed his cane and uses it to stand up from the bench he had been sitting onto. "Sure, let's take you there." Worried William might fall as he can see the man's leg were still shaking. William wanted to maintain small pride for himself that he can do it. "No, I want to do it myself." Politely declining, Sherlock just watch William go downstairs.

Of course, Sherlock respects William's pride.

But...Still worried since William had one eye working. His vision is yet to be clear if it is really blind or just blurry vision in his left eye.

"Liam, don't go anywhere without my permission okay?"

William halts just to make a teasing joke, he made an evil smirk.

"It is your role to catch me. Catch me if you can~ Sherly."

The wind blows another one and Sherlock's ponytail follows it.

Everything felt uneasy all of the sudden, he wondered why.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

'When I thought Liam thought of living for real...I was wrong.'

...

The next day, early in the morning as Sherlock got home from work.

"Liam I'm home-" Sherlock smell blood. "Liam..?" Whenever he opens the front door, he'll see the bed right away. However Moriarty isn't there.

When Sherlock look at his left side, there is the kitchen and a certain blonde hair in his pajama's, had red stains on his left wrist.

"Liam!?"

He found William at the kitchen sitting at the corner. "Liam! Hey!" He shakes him and spotted William's hand is holding the dull kitchen knife.

"It's itchy..."

William mumbles. "What?" Slowly he open his red eyes with blank expression. "Everything feels itchy Sherly." Then starts to sob out of nowhere.

"I can't...!"

Sherlock cannot comprehend what just happened. Yesterday William said he will live and properly think about the future! And yet? Why is he using the butter knife, and thank god it is a butter knife!

"You idiot! If it is itchy then ask me to scratch it! Why would you use a knife for?! You crazy!"

Billy happens to return as well. "Hey -" the door shuts close as he saw Sherlock and William at the kitchen floor having a bloody moment. "Oh my god, what happen here?!" Quickly he knelt down and grabbed the kitchen butter knife. "Why is 's wrist bleeding!?" Seeing the red hand prints. "Did he just-"

Sherlock yells.

"Billy get me a first aid kid now!"

"O-okay! Wait!"

Putting back his attention to the mentally unstable Moriarty whose now going pale.

"Liam, let me see." Surprisingly William let him check his bleeding left wrist 'Good. I-It's not deep. He missed his vital vein.' Annoyed. "Liam why would you do this? I thought we have an agreement."

William had small tears in his eyes, he lifted his other open hand to hide the side of his face where an ugly scar is etched.

"Sorry Sherly, I don't know why I used a knife to scratch my itching. I guess it was impulse." Trembling, "Did not mean to cause harm."

Sherlock face palms. "Liam you big idiot."

William whose crying suddenly giggled and let a innocent smile. "Hehe, I guess am. Sorry Sherly..."

Sherlock is baffled.

'Liam is mentally distraught.'

After that weird conversation, Billy proceed to take care of William's wound. Wrapping again his wrist with bandages.

Sherlock brush his hair with his own hands, trying to calm himself down from this unpredicted self harm from William. Looking at Billy he ordered, "From now on the kitchen should be locked."

Billy felt sorry about it. "I think it is my fault for leaving the knife open out there." But Sherlock disagrees with his apology "It is not your fault Billy. Liam just having a difficult time. He is having mood swings and that causes his brain to function abnormally."

For some reason bandaging William's wrist made William fall asleep. Billy made a concerned face as he guessed this person known as the former Lord of Crime is still suicidal.

"Will he get better?"

Sherlock sighs as he proceed to carry William's on his arms in a princess cradle to take him back to bed.

"I'm not sure Billy, but am here to protect him."

...

Noon came...

William have gain consciousness. The tone of his voice is strangely back to his normal self. As if...he did not do any stupid stunt.

Sherlock breaths in his nose as he exhales.

"Liam let me see your wrist.." gently touching again William's bandaged wrist where there is still remnants of blood stains, proof he had self harm. "I did not intend to cut my wrist Sherly. I will be be careful from now on." William said so.

Sherlock doesn't buy that.

Looking eye to eye, Sherlock glared to William's depressing red eyes.

"Liam be honest with me."

"Hm?"

William whose trying to hide in a stoic face, Sherlock spits some facts.

"Do still feel like dying even though am here?"

William chuckles, ignoring again Sherlock's disturb feelings. "Like I said you gave me colors Sherly. This world become dear to me, however I have this impulse to scream at the top of my lungs. It itch every nerve I have." William took out his other free hand to touch Sherlock's tired hands and rubs them softly. "But rest assured this won't happen again."

Closing his eyes, William isn't lying though. He had no idea why he had an impulse to self harm. "I don't even know what had gotten to me to do that awful stunt." It is something William been fighting for so many years.

Back at the Moriarty house, William will play Russian roulette without him being seen by his brothers. He do this to calculate math of what is the percentage to survive a gun's bullet if you took 3 out or put one bullet and point this gun at your head to find out if you survived.

That's how serious William's suicidal ideation was.

Pressing his touch to Sherlock's hands, William smiles at him. "I'm truly am sorry for being a burden." Even though it is an apology, it felt out of place for William to smile peacefully like that.

Not fair.

"Sheesh." Deciding to drop it, Sherlock grabs William's shoulder and pins him down to the pillow. "Eh? Sherly-" William who did not even struggled obeyed the hands that pushes his body to lay down to the comfy bed.

"Come on, let's get to sleep." He ordered him, William is surprised and had a faint blush.

Billy whose just listening to their conversation decided to excuse himself. "So uhh, now everything is safe and clear. I remember I have to meet Detective Owen."

Sherlock just nods, "See you then Billy."

The door closed.

The sunset disappeared and the night curtains reflects to the bed that they both lay on.

Staring at each other, listening to their breath rhythm. William is acting like a lonely child. He asks Sherlock for comfort.

"Sherly...can you give me a hug?"

Sherlock is actually surprise about it, but same time he is glad that William seeks comfort on his warmth.

"Sure, come here Liam."

Moving their bodies closer, William buried his head to Sherlock's exposed chest. William rubs his cold cheeks to the other and giggled. "...you are very fuzzy Sherly." Sherlock snorts, "You are very fluffy Liam." Patting William's waist, Sherlock thought it is ok to go for it.

"...Sweet dreams, my Liam."

Kissing William's forehead made the other stunned.

But it did not feel bad, in fact it felt good.

William shyly stated.

"Ah...yes, Goodnight Sherly."

When both closed their eyes, they just decided to enjoy this peace.

Though something bothers Sherlock as if there is another red thread. Questions resurfaces in his mind.

Why William did that?

For attention?

Or is he really going nuts?

Does William need a therapist or something?

It feels like William is testing Sherlock for how long he can say that he loved him, that he does not regret being with him.

That he can be painful and stressful to be with.

And he is right about that, soon he will see William's other side of the coin...

Dysphoria.

To Be Continued.

Next: sorry if it is not well written or good English but I was trying to pinpoint William's mood swings from adult to child like thinking. It is slightly shown in the manga he easily cries right away over little things. Aww William so cute, just wanna hug him.

Note: Seeing Sherlock work so hard for him, William is trying his best to adjust. He cannot help but be sentimental and a burden regarding his mental health condition. It continues to decline...

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Link: en/challenge/paradox-mansion-manga-main-story-/list?title_no=488872

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