A/N Happy New Year! Thank you to all the readers and writers on this board. I can't believe I started this series almost three years ago and am still here adding to it! Thank you especially to lulugardenfli for all the feedback that's spanned every single story:)

"You've made me feel like a queen tonight, Sodapop."

Soda swayed along to the slow music, Penny leaning against him, as they danced in perfect sync with one another. "That's because you are one, sweetheart. Happy Valentine's Day."

Penny touched the corsage on her wrist, its light blue and purple complementing the lavender dress she wore. "Happy Valentine's Day to you too."

Soda's hands rested on Penny's waist, as he pulled back to kiss her lips, the scent of her perfume mixing with the ecstasy he felt just from being there with her.

Penny held Soda's face, as they kissed, the music notes moving over them and breathing life into tender moments that both would undoubtedly remember.

"I thought about hiding a ring in there, but that seemed too typical."

Audrey opened the heart-shaped box of chocolates Nicholas had given her, as the two were getting ready to leave her house. She found a small card, its romantic sentiment decorated with roses and a lovingly-written signature. Setting the gift aside, Audrey reached for Nicholas, her arms wrapping around his middle. "You don't have to try so hard or think so much about this. No matter how or when you ask the question, my answer will be the same."

Nicholas put a hand in Audrey's auburn hair, the locks that hung loose done in curls. "I know. I just want it to be special."

"It will be. But not because of an extravagant or creative proposal. It'll be special because it's coming from you."

"Well, what could I do? Just let Valentine's Day pass us by because we've spent so many of them together?"

Vivian stood nearby, as Samuel set the cake he'd baked for her on the kitchen counter. "I just wasn't expecting anything. That's all."

Samuel began to frost the cake, covering its surface in white icing that he'd soon complete with lettering. "I have gifts for you too. Wrapped and ready."

"I had no idea, Samuel. I-" Vivian was interrupted by the sound of Emily's recently-awakened cries coming from her bedroom. "That was a short nap."

Samuel smiled, as he continued to frost the cake, making sure to smooth out the icing. "Yes, it was, and my guess is she wants to join us."

"Damn it! That stings."

Steve snatched his hand away from the clipboard, blood seeping out of the paper cut on his finger. He then set the clipboard down on the DX station's counter, the offending page now underneath the top sheet. Reaching for a tissue, he pressed it to his finger, the bleeding easily stopped, even though the skin remained sore.

Steve picked up a pen, making a few notes on the clipboard before he noticed blood was once again coming from the cut. He put the tissue on his finger once more, this time applying more pressure, as he reflected on his surroundings. He looked down at the tile, where he stood in close proximity to the cash register, the darkness outside broken only by the glow of lamp posts and headlights.

Steve's gaze shifted to the paper cut, as he moved the tissue away to see it had completely stopped bleeding, the flow quenched in the midst of irony.

"I used to like staying out late when I was younger, but now, I prefer to be home early."

Darry followed Maryanne inside her house, easily relating to what she'd just said, as they each settled into the living room. "I know what you mean. For me, it probably has something to do with being the one to wait up and make sure my brothers got home safe and sound."

Maryanne set her purse down on an end table, braided hair over one shoulder, as she looked down at her wrist, admiring the bracelet Darry had given her earlier in the evening. "That changes everything, doesn't it? Because late night becomes a time for anxiety and contemplation. It's not carefree anymore."

"That's exactly it." Darry reached over and touched the bracelet with its small, silver links and star-shaped charms that dangled, as if suspended in the sky. "I"m glad you like it. I don't think I'm the best at picking out gifts, especially not jewelry. I'm sorry I couldn't do more too."

Maryanne looked up and met Darry's gaze, seeing the regret in his eyes that contrasted with the pride she knew he always took in caring for his loved ones. "Darry Curtis, the best present I got tonight is spending it with you. I adore the bracelet because you gave it to me."

"That's so nice of you to say. I sure do love you, Maryanne. You love me in a way I don't think I ever believed a woman could. I've felt different from everyone my age for over three years now, but you've helped heal that. You love me, even though I'm the guy whose life took an unexpected turn, and you love me for the way I handled it. My priorities and goals are going to be different for a long time yet, but you still want to be with me."

"Of course I do. I understand and support your brothers' place in your life." Maryanne felt Darry's fingers thread through the hair that was beginning to fall loose from her braid, as she touched the collar of his shirt, his face already the one she could see in her future. "And I want you to always know that I value you and our relationship over any gifts or money. Ours is a love without any strings attached."

"Good evening. Is there anything I can-"

Soda entered the DX station, hearing the words of Steve's greeting come to a halt, as his best friend realized he wasn't just another customer. "Hey, Stevie, how's it goin'?"

Steve emptied the dust pan into the trash bin, putting it and the broom away. "It's been fine tonight. Not busy at all. Just maybe a handful of customers since 8:00 or so."

"Oh. Okay." Soda moved closer to the counter, leaning on it, as he looked around the station, his eyes then landing on the cash register. "I'm actin' like I haven't been back here at all, ain't I?"

"Nah. You just haven't been here at night, so it's weird for you." Steve noticed the loosened tie around Soda's neck and the boutonniere that was still pinned to his shirt. "How was your date with Penny?"

"It was nice. We ate and danced. I even gave her a corsage to wear. She said I made her feel like a queen."

"I'm sure you did too, man." Steve saw Soda's gaze shift from the cash register to the floor near it, then cautiously touched his best friend's shoulder. "Soda, why did you come here right now, buddy? What's going on in your head?"

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see what it was like. It's good for me to face stuff, right?"

"Yeah, sure. As long as you're not adding to the trauma, and I think only you can know if you are."

"I'm not. I don't think so anyway. I mean, it probably would if you weren't here too. Bein' alone would feel different."

"Of course it would."

"Penny and me didn't talk about anything tonight. Not about Emily or what happens next. Nothin' at all."

"Maybe that's good, man. You two are still a couple with your own relationship that isn't only based on the fact that you had a baby together. You didn't lose each other in that."

"No. We didn't. But I also get the feelin' she doesn't want to talk about Emily now. We're different that way."

"Which makes sense. She's in a different position. But that's what you've got us for."

"Yeah. That's true." Soda looked toward the door, the bell above it silent, even as he pictured the man with the mask, who had come through it nearly a year ago. "I ain't doin' too bad in here, huh?"

"No. You're really not. I'm proud of you. Not that I wasn't already or wouldn't still be if you'd come in here at night and had a panic attack or something. Hell, I'd be proud of you if you didn't come at all."

"So I don't gotta earn it, do I?"

"Never. That's unconditional too."

"Are you sure?"

"Damn straight I'm sure. What's with you lately, man? Why are you doubting things that you know?"

"Just am. Sometimes, it gets real easy to do."

"Well, I'm glad it's something you can tell me at least. Then, I get to help you with it."

"You like doin' that, huh? Helpin' me with stuff?"

"Yeah. It's important to me."

"Cause I'm important to you?"

"Yeah. You're very important to me, buddy. What do you need, Sodapop? What are you searching for?"

Soda allowed Steve's gaze to catch his own, a pang of self-hatred rattling him, as he saw the concern he was cultivating in his best friend. "Just...some reassurance, I guess." Cause you were right about something, he thought. "And I- I know you'll give it to me. Cause it's what we do for each other." You were right, and I don't want my feelings to hurt our friendship. "I know I can always tell you the truth."

"Of course. I want you to be honest with me."

No, you don't, Soda thought. Cause it's not fair to you this time. "Yeah, I want you to be honest with me too." I don't want to hurt you more than I already did. It's not your fault, and you didn't do anything wrong. You only did what I-

"Soda, quit spacin' out, man. This ain't a good time or place for that. It scares me to see it here."

Soda felt Steve shake his shoulder, his consciousness blinking him out of his thoughts. "Oh. Sorry, Stevie. It ain't memories or anything like that. I'm still here."

"Okay. I'm worried about you having a flashback though. This is pretty much the perfect trigger, and I- Damn it, that was the worst choice of words ever."

"I still get what you mean, even with the pun, and you're probably right." Soda found himself looking around again, taking in both the silence and the memories that he had to admit were barely yielding to suppression. "I should get home, and let Darry know I'm doin' all right."

"The DX? What were you doing there?"

Soda joined Pony inside the Curtis house, as he undid his tie. "I just dropped by to talk to Steve. No big deal."

Pony, still clad in the jeans and plaid shirt he'd worn on his own date, gave in to the questions that were rising in his mind. "But why? Didn't you see him earlier?"

Soda studied the note on the refrigerator, then picked up the phone, his finger beginning to enter each digit of Maryanne's number on the rotary dial. "Yeah, but I don't think there's a limit on that or anything."

"Who are you calling?"

"Darry."

"But he's with Maryanne."

"Yeah. He wanted me to check in with him though." Soda heard the line start to ring, only seconds passing before Maryanne's voice answered. "Hey, Maryanne. It's Sodapop. Can I talk to Darry for a sec?"

Pony waited, only listening to the conversation, as he sat down in the recliner and unbuttoned his shirt.

"Hey, Dar. Yeah, I'm home. Pony's here too, so I ain't by myself. I still wanted to let you know I'm doin' okay though. Yeah, I'll let you get back to Maryanne. Love you too. Bye."

Pony watched Soda hang up the phone, then go toward the TV. "You're nineteen. Why did Darry want you to call him? He didn't even tell me to do that."

Soda switched the TV on, then sat down on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "Aw, you know how Darry is, Pone. He still gets worried about me after everything from last spring and summer. But enough of that, how was your date with Lydia?"

"It was fine. We just went to the movie house."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Of course I kissed her. It was like our third date. We didn't do anything else either, if that's what you're about to ask next."

"So you like her a lot, huh?"

"Yeah, and I think she digs me too."

"How's it feel?"

"I don't know. Nice, I guess. She's sweet, and I like that in a girl."

"Yeah, I can see you with a sweet girl, not any of these tough ones around here."

"Same goes for you and Darry. You've both got sweet girlfriends."

"That's true. Must be the Curtis charm."

Pony observed Soda for a few moments, seeing his middle brother watching the TV, as his head bopped along to the My Three Sons theme song. "Soda, give me some respect and credit here. I'll be seventeen this year. I'm not that kid with my head in the clouds, who doesn't notice what's going on around me anymore. I've seen Darry and Steve lately. I know they're both watching you more than they were. Please tell me why that is without glossing over whatever's happening with you. I can handle anything you tell me, and I'm not asking so I can blow up at you. I'm asking because I care, and I want to be there for you."

Soda let out a long breath, his heart pierced by everything Pony had just said to him. "All right. I need to take back somethin' I said to you first. I've been feelin' bad about it anyway and wanted to fix it. I just wasn't sure when to do it."

Pony moved from the recliner to the couch to be beside his brother. "Okay. What do you need to take back?"

"I didn't tell you the truth, Pone. About the cough syrup. I wasn't sick when I took it last Saturday night."

"But why else would you take it?"

"To sleep and get away from feelings and stuff. I'm sorry I lied. It was just a hard thing to tell you."

"Oh. So, um, did you take a lot of it or-"

"No. I swear it was just a normal dose."

"Is that why Steve was in your room looking at you that day? Did he know?"

"Yeah. He put the pieces together real easily."

"What do you mean? What pieces?"

"This ain't exactly new, Pony. I hadn't done it before, but I'd been tempted. I've come close to doin' more than just takin' enough of that medicine to sleep."

"Wait. Are you telling me you've come close to overdosing on it?"

"Yeah. It was somethin' I thought about a lot last year. Steve poured out a couple of bottles then cause he knew where my head was and how easy it could be for me to slip."

"So that's why him and Darry are worried about you now? Because you took the same kind of medicine you thought of using to kill yourself?"

"Yeah. It ain't safe for me to use it like I did, and copin' in a healthy way is somethin' I've talked about over and over again, but I did it anyway."

"But you weren't trying to die last week, right?"

"No. Just wanted to sleep, like when I had the bronchitis that time."

"What about now? Are you okay?"

"Sure. I ain't suicidal, if that's what you mean. Not even close." Soda waited, anticipating some sort of reaction from Pony, as his little brother absorbed what he'd just heard. "Are we okay, Pone? I didn't lie cause I don't trust you or anything. It's just that I never told you before exactly what my suicidal thoughts were like, and I know it's real scary. You ain't mad at me, are you?"

Pony's eyes met Soda's, the brown orbs visibly pleading for absolution. "No, I'm not mad at you. I know it must be hard to talk about this stuff. I knew something didn't make sense that night too."

Soda put his arm around Pony's shoulders, pulling him in close. "I won't do that anymore, Pone. I mean lie to you or take medicine like I did. I'm still tryin' to cope with the fact that I gave in to somethin' I shouldn't, you know?"

"Yeah. I guess if you've ever thought about overdosing on medicine, it would be bad to take it when you're not sick. Especially when you get sleepy like that."

"Right. You've got the point exactly, little brother. That ain't a way for me to deal with my problems or feelings, even if it did seem like one at the time."

Pony leaned on Soda, listening to his breathing, as he reflected on the past several days. "I understand now, and I hope you don't do anything else you aren't supposed to. Just the idea of you trying to shut off your feelings like that bothers me inside. I guess cause I know it can't help."

"It felt good for a little bit there, but no, it didn't help." Soda looked at the TV whose sound had faded into the background of their conversation, seeing the images on the screen, as lives were depicted in back and white, even when the lines within reality tended to become much blurrier. "But it ain't like I don't know what does, so I'm plannin' on stickin' with that."

"TwoBit, if you don't shut up, I'll show you where you can shove that orange juice."

TwoBit held up his glass anyway, Steve's threat only encouraging him. "Hey, I'm just makin' a toast, Steve-O."

Soda poured chocolate syrup into his glass of milk. "Why? Cause you're eatin' toast?"

"No. Because I have an announcement to make."

Steve snorted, as he took a bite of his own buttered toast and sat down at the table. "I'm not sure I even want to know what that means."

"It means I asked Kathy to marry me last night!"

Steve nearly choked on his food. "What? What did she say?"

Soda sat down at the table too, bumping his glass against TwoBit's. "Well, cheers, man. But damn, I thought proposin' was supposed to be my thing."

TwoBit took a swig of juice, setting the glass down on the table. "She said no."

Steve rolled his eyes, feeling the urge to hurl something at his buddy. "She said no, and you're over here toasting? How is that even an announcement?"

"Just cause it sounds dramatic. I'm toastin' myself for having the courage to ask in the first place."

Soda chuckled, as he pictured TwoBit down on one knee, Kathy probably saying more more than a simple no. "Were you even sober, TwoBit? I ain't surprised she's not lookin' to get married yet."

"I'd had a few beers, but I wasn't trashed or anything. I'm enough of a gentleman not to get drunk on a date with my lady."

Steve reached for another slice of toast, his annoyance dialing down a notch. "Yeah, I'll give you that, man. Did you even have a ring?"

"Of course, Steve-O! Who proposes marriage without a ring?"

Soda snorted this time around, as he thought of himself. "I did. But it was kind of unplanned. When Sandy told me she was pregnant, I asked right then."

Steve, seeing the potential for a painful memory to sweep in and take Soda down with it, steered the conversation just slightly away from where it may he headed. "Hell, I could see my dad doing that with Audrey. He has a ring, but he's thinking about it so hard, I half expect the question to pop out randomly before he finally decides exactly when to ask her."

TwoBit got up to open the refrigerator, taking out the container of orange juice. "Oh yeah? That'll be somethin', won't it? Your old man gettin' hitched? Audrey's a looker too. He sure found himself a hot one."

Steve heard Soda laugh, his former mission now accomplished. "Hey, tone it down, man. That's my future stepmom you're talking about there."

"Aw, I didn't mean any harm, buddy-O."

Steve's eyebrows raised, as he heard a snicker from Soda. "Buddy-O?"

"Yeah. I just combined 'buddy' and 'Steve-O', and bam, it's a new nickname."

Soda laughed hard and loud, chocolate milk almost squirting from his nose. "Yeah, Stevie. You're our buddy-O, so why don't we eat Cheerios, and go play Hi-Ho Cherry-O?"

Steve couldn't keep himself from smiling, as he watched his friend's spirits soar. "Yeah, sure, buddy. Make fun of my new name when you've got no room to talk, what with being named 'Sodapop' and all."

"Hey, we've talked about how my name fits me. You said it does me justice."

"It does, but that doesn't mean I can't tease you too."

TwoBit chose that second to jump back into the conversation, as he put the orange juice away. "All right, you two, I sense a 'moment' on the horizon, so that must mean it's time for me to eat and run."

"Soda told me what happened."

Steve was just stepping onto the Curtis' back porch when Pony followed him out the door. "And what does that mean, Kid? What did he tell you?"

Pony tapped his pack of cigarettes on the railing, as he looked at Steve, then at the yard, what he'd learned the night before still unsettling to him. "The cough syrup. He told me about taking it and why that wasn't a good idea for him."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad, Ponyboy. For you and for Soda."

"I didn't get mad or yell at him if that's what you're wonderin'. I'd never do that now. I couldn't act that way toward him again. You either, by the way."

"Good to know. I honestly didn't think you would. I even told Soda I thought he should tell you about it."

"So you're cheerin' for me now, huh?"

"Hell, yeah, Kid. We've always been on the same team."

"It's totally up to you, Son. Audrey's coming over after church anyway, and you can let her know you want to talk whenever you're ready."

Steve sat in the pew beside Nicholas, waiting for the service to begin. "Okay. Can you tell her first though? I mean just that I want to tell her about something? Make sure she knows it's not about her or anything?"

Nicholas picked up two hymnals, handing one to Steve, as he stood up, seeing Audrey smile at him from across the aisle. "Yes. I'll tell her that beforehand. She already knows there's more she hasn't heard about you though, so I don't think she'll be worried about that."

Soda stood up at the same time Steve did, having heard the discussion and sensing the nervousness radiating from his best friend. He then put an arm around him, hearing the piano begin to play, as he whispered the first sentiment that came to his mind, while giving him a squeeze. "You've got this, Stevie. And I'll be there the whole time, all right? I'll help you get through it, and if it gets hard to talk, I'll even be your voice."