Chapter 47: Werewolf of Hogwarts
Note: The illustrated version of Voyage 1 of Birds of a Feather is now posted, and Voyage 2 will be up shortly. You can find them (and lots of other good tales!) at Red Hen Publications under: My work; Publications; Fiction; Tales of the Potterverse; Where do you go after Hogwarts? Enjoy!
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"Hello, Captain Hook," Rita Skeeter said. She looked rather scary in her preying mantis mask. "Mind if I join you?"
Severus stood up and bowed. "Please be my guest, Ms Mantis," he said, using a very convincing imitation of Kat's accent. He gestured toward the bench with his hook. I should have run for it, he thought, but it's too late now.
Rita waved down a suit of armor and told it to bring some champagne, and while she was distracted Severus silently renewed the sticking charms on his mask and the scarf that covered his scarred throat.
"My name is Rita Skeeter and I'm an investigative journalist. Most people here are afraid to talk to me," she told him. "They're afraid I'll quote them. You're one of those visitors from America, aren't you? Don't worry, I know you've been sent here to check up on things. I promise I won't get you in trouble."
The armor returned with the champagne. Rita took two glasses and handed one to Severus as they settled down on the bench.
"I don't blame the Americans for being worried" she continued, taking a sip of her champagne. "I'm sure they're not the only ones who are concerned. After all, what kind of a country leaves school children to defend against a major attack? Where was everyone else? There was that so-called Order of the Phoenix, of course, but they were just a bunch of ineffective bumblers. The United Kingdom has a large population of witches and wizards. They should have been able to mount a proper defense."
Severus was mildly surprised to find that he was now playing the role of an American spy. "Well, yes, we were wondering what really happened," he said. "We heard that the Dark Lord had infiltrated the Ministry of Magic, which is why nothing was done. It's all finished and settled now, isn't it?" His best bet would be to keep her talking until there was an opportunity to slip away.
"The so-called 'Chosen One' did manage to destroy the Dark Lord through some strange combination of dumb luck and ancient magic," Rita told him as she took another sip of her drink. "But the Dark Lord – his name was really Tom Riddle – should have been stopped long before that. Albus Dumbledore just stood by and watched him grow into a major threat."
"Albus Dumbledore?" Severus asked. "Wasn't he the Headmaster here at this school? The fellow who defeated Grindlewald?"
"Yes," said Rita, "he fought Grindlewald, but he never tried to defeat Riddle. He seemed to think it was fated that a Dark Lord must rise, and that only the 'Chosen One' must defeat him."
"Leaving it to play out according to 'fate' sounds like a dangerous plan," Severus said. "According to the Greek myths, trying to fight against fate is futile, but one ought to at least try, I think." I should never have trusted Albus, he thought. What a fool I was!
"Dumbledore didn't just go along with 'fate', he did his best to make it happen that way," Rita replied. "He brought young Riddle here to be taught magic, even though he knew how dangerous the boy was. And then he stood idly by and watched as Riddle grew stronger and stronger. It was incredibly irresponsible of him. In the end, he left young Potter to deal with the threat on his own."
Potter, and me, and everyone else, Severus thought. "Quite a few people must have died as a result," he remarked.
"Yes, quite a few. " Rita finished her champagne and signaled for more.
Almost including me, Severus thought.
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"Put it right over there," Tracey Davis said as the two roadies levitated the drum kit up onto the stage. Anthony Goldstein climbed up after them, followed by the drummer and the bassist. They were all dressed in black. "And get that lectern outta here," Tracey ordered. "We've gotta get this right tonight. It could give our careers a big boost."
"I just hope no one gets too upset," Anthony said as took up his guitar. "Remus Lupin was one of the best Defense teachers we had, and he was a war hero, too."
"Yes, he was a war hero, and so were a lot of other people," Tracey reminded him. "You were there and so were the rest of us. The main difference is that we managed not to get killed. Anyway, we never actually say that it's based on Lupin, and I added a verse saying he might become a hero, just to soften it a bit."
It was true that they had all been in the battle. Anthony had been with Tracey and the others when Tracey had been seriously wounded. A Gryffindor had mistaken her for an enemy because she was a Slytherin, and he had cursed her from behind. Tracey had never liked Gryffindors, but that had sent her animosity over the top. Anthony couldn't really blame her for that.
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Rita started on her second glass of champagne. "Everyone always said that Albus Dumbledore was the only one that the Dark Lord feared. You wouldn't have guessed that from Dumbledore's actions though. Or rather his lack of action. If he did anything, it was very furtive. And ineffective."
Severus wondered if he should try to change the subject. It was rather interesting to hear her point of view on the matter, however, so he let her ramble on.
"This is rather good champagne," she said. "Not the best, but certainly better than average. I must remember to thank Lucius."
"Yes, it's lovely," Severus said, taking a small sip of his. He'd discretely drunk an entire vial of Soberall potion to ensure that his mind and reflexes would remain sharp despite the alcohol. He was imbibing very slowly, too. He wasn't going to push his luck in a situation like this.
"It looks like the band is going to set up," he said. "Let's go have a look."
"Oh, yes, I've heard they're rather good. Let's go."
He hoped he could lose her when the music started, but when they stood up she took him firmly by the arm.
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"It looks like the band is setting up now. They're Slytherins, aren't they?" Celestina Warbeck asked. She was dressed in a flowing lavender gown and long strings of pearls. She wanted to be easily recognizable for her fans. "It's not my kind of music, but I've heard they 're rather popular. Were they in Slug Club?"
"Sadly, no, they weren't," Horace Slughorn said. "Things were a bit chaotic at that time and I was unable to properly reestablish the club."
"The connections you helped me make through Slug Club were essential when I was launching my career." She smiled at him. "I really appreciate that, you know."
Horace smiled back. "It was a pleasure, my dear. I'll always think of you as the 'Sweet Songstress of Slytherin', but of course lately people have come to think that being a Slytherin is something to be ashamed of. I've noticed that you never mention it in your interviews."
"Well, I ought to admit it, I know," Celestina said. "I'm an ambitious Slytherin, and it was my ambition to bring my songs to the witches and wizards of the world. Entertainment is a cut-throat business. If I weren't ambitious, and even a bit ruthless at times, I'd still be singing to myself in the shower. As it is, I'll be starting a world tour next spring." And being paid very well for it, too, she thought.
Molly Weasley and several of her friends interrupted them. "Could we have your autograph, please?" Molly asked as they all held out photographs of Celestina blowing kisses toward the viewer. "We love your songs!"
"Of course, my dears," Celestina said as she brought out her magical signing pen.
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A crowd of students was gathering in front of the stage as Tracey took her place at the keyboard. "You guys ready?" she whispered, looking at her band mates.
They all nodded and she cried out, "Helloooo Hogwarts! We're Parselmouth and this is the latest song from our rock opera. It's called 'Werewolf of Hogwarts' and we hope you'll like it!"
The drummer struck the drums several times, Tracey started the introduction, and then Anthony and the bass player joined in.
The students watched in anticipation as she sang the first verse:
"I saw a werewolf with a battered suitcase in his hand
Boarding the train for Hogwarts in plain sight.
Could it be that there's a werewolf at the school?
A werewolf at Hogwarts tonight?"
Then Tracey howled: "Ah woooo!"
The students clapped and whistled. Most of them, anyway. Bentley Ballard and some of the other former Gryffindors stood by watching suspiciously.
Lucius glanced at Draco. "Maybe I shouldn't have let you talk me into this," he said.
"It's okay, Father," Draco said. "They're good. Everyone is going to like it. You'll see."
"Do you hear him howling
In that shack late at night?
His friends are gonna let him out!
Hogsmeade got terrorized late last night.
It's the Werewolf of Hogwarts, no doubt!"
"Come on, people, howl with me now! Ah woooo!" Tracey shouted.
"Ah woooo!" the crowd answered. People were starting to rock back and forth along with music. Bentley noticed that he was tapping his foot. "I think I kind of like it," he muttered.
"He's an unassuming gent
That his friends have sometimes sent
To terrorize their unsuspecting foes.
He's a really nice guy
When the moon's not in the sky.
Otherwise there's danger where he goes."
Minerva wrung her hands. "Good grief!" she said. "This is worse than I thought. Poor Remus!"
"It's all in fun, I think," Filius told her, although he wasn't exactly sure of that, "and there is some truth to it, as you know."
Minerva sighed. "Remus was in my House, and after a few months I realized what was going on. Albus neglected to mention it until I brought it up with him, though. I used to think that Albus was just absent-minded, but sometimes now I wonder, she thought. Did he think I wouldn't notice?
Tracey kept on singing:
"He's just lonely, don't you know?
He tries not to let it show,
But he's fallen in with bad company.
He's got a friend in a high place
Who will hide all his disgrace.
But he's still got a problem, don't you see?"
Then the band launched into an instrumental break. Anthony stepped forward with his guitar. Sweat was running down his face. Tracey pounded on the keyboard. The bass player struck a classic pose as he plucked the strings, and the drummer was going wild behind the drum kit.
"Oh, this is too much fun!" Rita said. She let go of Severus and clapped. Severus knew he should try to disappear into the crowd then, but he just stood there and stared in amazement. The lyrics were quite accurate, and that idiot Lupin deserved every word of them. Ten points to Slytherin! he thought, and a few to Ravenclaw, too. He fought down an urge to laugh.
Anthony took over the vocals:
"If you hear him howling around the castle gate
You'd better not let him in!
Kids almost got mutilated late last night.
It's the Werewolf of Hogwarts again!"
"Come on, Celestina, let's get closer," Horace said happily.
Celestina clutched her pearls. "No, no, it's way too undignified. You go ahead. I'll wait here."
"Righty-o," Horace said and headed into the crowd.
"He doesn't mean you any harm,
There's no need for much alarm
Except when he forgets to drink his potion.
Then his teeth begin to grow,
Yes, it's terrible, I know.
In fact it really is quite atrocious."
The crowd cheered. Theodore Nott punched the air and screamed out "Parselmouth rocks!"
Ginny grabbed Harry by the arm. "This is disgraceful!" she said. "Lupin was such a nice man. How can Minerva let them do this?"
"Well, the song is kind of true," Ron observed. "Remus was a great guy, but he did sort of try to kill us, you know. When he was transformed, I mean."
"He couldn't help it," Harry said, frowning.
He could have remembered to take his potion, Hermione thought. "Come on, Ron, let's dance," she said, taking his hand. "It will help show that we're not angry with Slytherins."
"Sure," Ron said. He was happy for any reason to dance with Hermione.
"Ginny?" Harry asked.
"Well, okay, I guess," she replied, although she didn't look very happy about it.
Tracey took over again:
"He might become a hero
instead of being such a zero
when push comes to shove in the end.
Perhaps he'll rise to the occasion.
It might take some persuasion
But he might decide to fight for us, my friend."
"Let's prowl!" Tracey shouted.
The roadies jumped up onto the stage. They were now wearing furry ears and tails, and they began to dance. They pranced across the stage leaning forward and back, raising their arms and clawing the air.
Clayton and Melody looked at each other, laughed, and began to imitate them. The two of them looked ridiculous, dressed as Merfolk and pretending to be werewolves. Others quickly joined in, including Bentley Ballard and his friends, most of whom were dressed as Vikings.
Severus watched as a unicorn, a leopard, a Cornish pixie, and a Niffler started dancing in a circle. "Ah woooo!" Horace cried as he fell in with them.
Lucius put a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Don't even think about it, son," he warned.
Draco gave Astoria a disappointed look. She nodded sadly. One must always remain mindful of one's dignity when in public, she knew.
The band played on and the dancing continued:
"I saw a big black dog dancing with the wolf
And they were doing the Werewolf of Hogwarts.
I saw a great big stag dancing with the wolf
And they were doing the Werewolf of Hogwarts."
"Oh this is too much fun!" Rita said, laughing. "I must write a review for 'The Prophet'!"
Well, at least she doesn't want to dance, Severus thought.
Note: The song is based on 'Werewolves of London' which was composed by Warren Zevon, LeRoy Marinell and Waddy Wachtel, and released by Zevon in 1978.