"Yep. I've been here the whole time, Stevie. Just like I said I would be."

Steve entered the waiting room, as Soda got to his feet, both men going toward the exit. "Thanks for coming, man. It means a lot to me."

Soda followed Steve into the parking lot that was right outside Laura's office building. "Of course. I like havin' a chance to do somethin' for you. Now, let me have the keys, so I can drive us both to your house."

Steve handed his keys over, getting in the passenger seat of the Ford, as Soda got behind the wheel. "I'm actually feeling okay, and I'm not even really sure now why I asked you to come here."

"Cause I'm the best." Soda started the car's engine and shifted into reverse. "You're feelin' okay cause I'm here with you."

"Yeah, sure, buddy, you're my light in the storm."

Soda drove the Ford onto the street, heading toward the Randles' house. "That better not be sarcasm."

"And what if it is?"

"Then, I'll have to pull over and kick your ass. But, seriously, how was it with Laura today? I'm not askin' you to tell me details though. Just wonderin' if it was what you needed it to be."

"Yeah. I guess it was. We mostly talked about my dad and stuff. Laura's always really good about taking what I say and reframing it to make it fit how she sees the whole situation. She always kind of affirms whatever it is I'm feeling too, so I know it makes sense. Plus, I think it helps when I tell her how things go, and she asks the sort of questions that make me see the progress I've made so far."

"I love listenin' to you talk about this."

"Huh? Why?"

"Cause you sound like a counselor."

"You're still sure I'll do it, huh?"

"Of course I am."

"Nothing I do or say could make you think otherwise?"

"Nope."

"What if somebody tellls me they were sexually abused?"

"Somebody? Like who?"

"A client. What if someone I'm seeing as client tells me they were sexually abused? What does that mean for me?"

"That you're the best person for them to talk to." Soda made the last turn, driving onto the Randles' street. "It means they have a counselor, who really gets it."

Steve felt the car turn once more before it came to a stop in his driveway. "Yeah, but they couldn't know that. I couldn't tell them personal things about me."

"I know, but it'd still be true. Maybe you can't tell them, but that just means you need to show them."

"How do I do that?"

"Are you kiddin' me, Stevie? You do it all the time. I see it in your eyes when you talk about stuff."

"You do?"

"Of course. Ya'll like to say I wear my heart on my sleeve, but so do you. I can always see so much care and kindness on your face. That's somethin' you'll have as a counselor too, and it'll be even better cause you'll know a lot more about how to help and what to say."

"All right. I'll make you a deal then, man."

"What kind of deal?"

"One like this: If I decide to go to school for counseling, when I start classes, you have to go for your GED."

"But that ain't the same thing. I don't have a calling to follow, like you do."

"Who says you don't? If you want me to have confidence in myself and go after something, you need to do it too." Steve held his hand out to Soda, waiting for him to take it in agreement. "So is it a deal?"

Soda looked at the extended hand before grasping it with his own. "Yeah. It's a deal. I'll go for my GED when you go to college."

"That's it, buddy. This way, we're both following each other's lead."

"So what do you think? I'd really enjoy a summer wedding myself."

Nicholas sat across from Audrey at her dining room table, as the couple began to make preliminary plans. "Summer would be nice. I like that idea too. Indoor or outdoor?"

Audrey, pen in hand, wrote thoughts and ideas down, as she considered the question. "I think that depends on the month. If it's early summer, depending on the weather, it could be outdoor. But middle or late summer should be indoor."

"So are we going for a big wedding or a small one?"

"I would prefer a smaller one with just our close friends and family."

"Me too. I feel like there are so many details to think about here. Like the venue, the reception, food, the wedding party. It's never-ending."

"Yes, and the ceremony itself, of course. Who's going to marry us?"

"I was thinking your brother. He'd probably love to do it."

"Steve will be your best man, right? I can't see it any other way."

"Of course. He actually asked me about that months ago. He thought of it even before I did. Who will be your maid of honor?"

"I'm planning to ask Vivian about that. She's the closest thing I have to a sister."

"Sounds like we at least have the start of some plans then. Any thoughts on how long of an engagement we're picturing?"

"Maybe a year or so? I think we should take our time, plan the wedding, and save plenty of money for it and our life together."

"What do you imagine that being like? Our life together, I mean."

"I imagine sharing a home, spending evenings with each other, making decisions together a lot like we are right now. I imagine falling into bed every night."

Nicholas felt a smile come to his face, knowing Audrey could see the twinkle in his eye. "Falling into bed and doing what?"

"Oh. I don't know. Reading a book? Talking about the next day? What else is there to do in bed? Besides sleep, of course."

Nicholas watched the smile on Audrey's face grow, then leaned over to kiss her lips. "I can think of a few things, and in fact, I'd love to go do them right now."

"The whole idea just takes some getting used to, little buddy. I felt the same way with you, but I think it came across in a different way."

Soda joined Darry on the porch swing, still able to feel the warmth in his right hand that had recently been covered in a heating pad. "Yeah, it came across as you tryin' to step up and be my guardian when I was still used to you just bein' my brother. I couldn't see it this way then, but it wasn't only about me listenin' or you bein' in charge. It was about you showin' that you cared. You wanted me to be safe in every sense of the word. Both as a guardian and as a big brother."

Darry watched Soda's expression that was softly lit by the glow of the porch light, as evening descended upon them. "Of course I did. The time you started seriously dating Sandy just happened to fall in line with the two of us trying to find our footing after Mom and Dad died. I couldn't only be the brother who cheered you on or gave you advice. I had to be the adult who set the rules."

"I really don't think you've gotta worry too much about Pony, Dar. His head is on a lot straighter than mine was, and I think he's got a different focus. I mean, you and me both knew I'd end up sleepin' with Sandy. Not just because I was a guy who wanted sex, but because I fell hard in thinkin' I must be in love. I don't think he looks at his relationship with Lydia the same way, and I know he ain't after that physical high. At least not so fast or in a moment where responsibility flies out the window. He has plans for the future. So does she, and I can't see him doin' anything that could mess that up for either of them."

"Yeah, if you have a summer wedding outside, that'll be way too hot, and not the kind of heat you and Audrey usually go for."

Nicholas gave Steve a small shove, as he set up the Scrabble board. "I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

Steve reached for several of the letter tiles, turning them over one-by-one, as he put them on their wooden stand. "Yeah. You pretty much did, and of course, I couldn't resist. But, anyway, a summer wedding sounds nice. I still get to be your best man, right?"

"Son, I already told you that's yours. Why would I change my mind?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to ask about it again, I guess. Never mind. Let's just get on with the game."

Nicholas watched as Steve added four letter tiles to the board, spelling out the word 'time.' "Okay. But you can tell me if any feelings are coming up or if you're worried or scared about anything. I know you just talked to Laura this afternoon, and sometimes, counseling lets you see things you didn't before."

Steve recorded his points, seeing Nicholas add three tiles to the board to form the word 'mine.' "Yeah. It did do that a little bit today. Cause I told her what happened yesterday with us talking about the wedding and stuff. So I can't help but think of how my brain connects back to the past. Which is something that I guess is just part of me now. But it doesn't mean I'm not really glad for you. It just means my trauma never goes away, and there's always a chance for something to bother me, even when nothing bad is happening."

Nicholas saw Steve add more letters to the board, creating the word 'spent.' "So what can I do then, Son? I feel like we've talked about every part that comes along with my being in a relationship again, but that doesn't mean the conversation can't be ongoing. I'm thinking that's exactly what it needs to be because Audrey and I aren't making any changes all at once. Every step is one we're taking gradually."

Steve was silent for a little while, as he considered both the truth in what Nicholas had said and the question of how he could help. "I think I just need a lot of time with you. That way, my mind doesn't get a chance to take me where it does. If we're talking and stuff, those memories can't have as much of a hold. Those old emotions can't make me feel like I'm losing you. Those feelings can't come back and-"

Nicholas watched, as Steve pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes at the same time he heard his son's voice begin to break. "It's okay, Steve."

"No, it's not, Dad. I keep doing this. I broke down the same way with Soda the other day. Not for the same reason, but still."

Nicholas pushed the Scrabble game to the side, as he reached for Steve's arm. "Son, there's nothing wrong with that. I know you'd tell both of us the same thing. You'd tell us it's what you're here for."

"Of course I would. I just don't want to keep crying about stuff I've already dealt with. And this is exactly that. We've both been through all of it, and there's nothing left to figure out or understand."

"There doesn't have to be. Do you want to know what I've been thinking about lately? Man-to-man?"

"What?"

"Your mom. Proposing to Audrey and just the fact that I'm in love with another woman is something that's different for me too. I miss her, and I could never replace her. I'm marrying someone else, but it doesn't change the way I'll always feel about her."

"It feels kind of weird to me to think about Mom because, sometimes, it's almost like I'm forgetting her. But I don't want to. It's just that so much has happened since she died. I hate that my memories of Clara are stronger than the ones of Mom."

Nicholas looked into Steve's eyes, still seeing the tears his son hadn't allowed to fall. "I don't think that means you're forgetting her. You were just so young, and you didn't get a lot of time with her. I'm sure we both know too that bad memories can have a way of feeling stronger than good ones, and when it comes to your mom, they're all good."

"Yeah. There's nothing about her that I don't want to remember. But it's all sort of fuzzy now. I wish it wasn't that way."

Nicholas reached for Steve's hand, holding it with his own, as he decided to take a deeper dive into the subject of Rose. "Son, I wonder if my being with a woman again also takes you back to the grief over your mother's death. I know it's all different, but losing her was the beginning of what happened. It even seems to me that the whole idea of you having a stepmom would be a lot like my realizing that I'm going to have a wife. Neither of us has had a woman be those things in our lives for such a long time, and even though you aren't a kid now, it'll still be something for you to have that in your life again, especially since you were so young when your mom died."

Steve felt the tears finally win, as his dad's words granted him that release. "I love Audrey, Dad. But she's not Mom. I'm even glad I'm not young enough for her to try to be cause that's what Clara did. It's how she got close enough to hurt me so much."

Nicholas took Steve into his arms, the heat of his son's tears touching his own face. "Shh. Audrey's not going to try to be your mom. She just wants to be in your life, and she'd never even think of doing anything to hurt you."

Steve pressed his face into Nicholas's neck, the emotion of the moment striking him along with a sense of shame. "I'm sorry. I'm sounding like a little kid. I know Audrey's a good person, and I'm nineteen years old now. I don't even need a mom anymore, so it doesn't matter what she does."

"Don't apologize for this, Son. I think you needed it. We've talked so much about how the feelings you had when you were being abused are part of things now, but your mother's death is part of it too. I know you miss her, and I know you also lost something that can never be replaced. We can talk about that, just like we do everything else. You never have to hide your pain from me or try to make it less than it is. You're nineteen, but that grief is still as real as it was when you were nine, and I'm here for you in a way I wasn't back then."

Steve's eyes closed, as he imagined being a little boy again, the sudden loss of his mother his first introduction to grief and the starting point of a path that had been anything but gentle. "I made a deal with Soda."

"What kind of deal?"

"I said I'd go to school to be a counselor if he'll go get his GED at the same time I start."

"Which will be when?"

"I don't know yet. Not this year. I really want to save my money up for a while. I'm going to need it."

"Sounds like you're making plans too, Son." Nicholas pulled back from their hug, his hand moving to Steve's cheek to stroke the skin, where the tears had begun to dry. "I love to see how you're always making what you've experienced into something good. You know how much I regret certain things and wish I'd done better, but it's crystal clear that nothing you've been through will ever be in vain."

"Hey, I guess I just missed my favorite preacher at church on Sunday, so I had to come and see him."

Samuel stepped onto the front porch with Steve, leaving the door open just a little bit, so he could hear if the baby woke up. "Oh. I'm your favorite, huh? You must tell me who I had to compete against as far as the other preachers, who are part of your life."

Steve could see the amusement on Samuel's face, as they sat down in the two rocking chairs. "Hmm. Well, there's Pastor David, obviously. But he and I aren't really close, so of course you won."

"And what did I win?"

"An afternoon with me. Isn't that just the prize you wanted?"

"I think cash would be better, but I'll take it." Samuel heard the beginning of a cry coming from inside the house. "Sounds like Emily's awake. I could swear she senses if she's missing something around here."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she can." Steve got up at the same time Samuel did, following him through the front door. "Is it okay if I come see her too?"

"Of course it is. What? Did you think you might be too scary for her after last time or something?"

Steve went with Samuel down the hall to Emily's bedroom, the one that he knew used to be Matthew's. "No. I just didn't know if I should interrupt."

Samuel grasped Steve's shoulder, as he opened Emily's door, guiding the younger man along with him. "I was kidding, you know. I do get what you meant."

Steve watched, as Samuel scooped Emily up out of the crib, where she'd been sleeping, then placed her on the changing table. "I can tell you're a great dad, in case that's something you ever need to hear."

Samuel put a clean diaper on Emily's, fingers fastening the pins in place, as his now-quiet daughter looked up at him. "Thank you. It is. Do you want to hold her while I start a load of laundry?"

"Sure." Steve took Emily from Samuel, finding that he held her more more naturally this time around. "Hey, Emily. It's me again. I bet you knew me and your daddy were talking outside."

Emily's gaze focused on Steve, her expression one of content and comfort.

Steve touched Emily's cheek, stroking the soft skin. "Guess what? I'm going to be your cousin."

Samuel gathered the dirty laundry, as he watched Steve with Emily, seeing how eagerly he interacted with her. "You're a great person, in case that's something you ever need to hear."

"Yeah. It is. I think I lose sight of myself sometimes, and I need help getting back on track. Now, go do your laundry before she decides she's tired of looking at me."

Samuel chuckled, as he made his way to the laundry room. "Okay. Be right back."

Steve went to sit down in the rocking chair that was near the crib, his gaze meeting Emily's, as she smiled at him. "Well, I sure know where you get that." He pressed a kiss to the top of the baby's head. "You've got a bunch of people who love you. I know I do, and I'm so happy I get to be around to see you grow up."

"Hey, Stevie, you comin' over to enjoy some of my cookin'?"

Steve joined Soda inside the Curtis house, as he saw his best friend was just finishing up with the pork chops. "Yeah, sure, man. So long as the meat's not a funny color."

Soda opened the lid on a pot of mashed potatoes, showing them to Steve. "Even these are their normal color, and you know what I usually like to do to them."

"Yeah. I've definitely had rainbow mashed potatoes before. I just came from being over at Samuel's."

"Oh? So, um, did you see Emily too?"

"Yeah. She was napping, but she woke up when we were talking on the porch. Vivian was out, so Samuel was taking care of her."

"I didn't know you were going over there again today."

"I didn't either. But since Samuel wasn't at church this past Sunday, I wanted to see him."

"Yeah. Okay." Soda moved away from the stove, going to the other end of the counter to grab the plates and silverware, which he then took to the table. "Did you hold Emily?"

"Yeah. Cause Samuel needed to do laundry."

"I'm sure he did."

"Soda, are you okay?"

"Of course I am. There's no problem here."

"Really? Cause you sound like you're pissed off."

"No, I don't. I'm fine, Steve. Get off my back."

Steve put his hand on Soda's shoulder, his friend then flinching away from the touch. "Buddy, please-"

"I said no! There's nothin' wrong with me, so just leave it alone! I don't need your comfort or anything else right now. I just want to have dinner."

"Okay. I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean any harm."

"You never do. You never mean to hurt me. You're never tryin' to do any harm."

"Of course I'm not. And you can tell me if you're mad. Hell, I already know you are. You're acting pretty much the same way you did the first night we went out and played pool."

"Right. Cause you know everything about me. You can even see inside my head. You always know how I feel."

"I didn't say that. I don't need to see inside your head because you're showing me you're angry."

"I'm not showin' you anything, Steve."

"Are you sure you want me to stay for dinner?"

"Yeah. I never told you to leave."

Steve tried again to put his hand on Soda's shoulder, the other man not flinching away this time. "All right. I'm here. You know that."

"Yeah. I do know that. But I'm not mad. There's no reason for me to be mad, and I don't want to talk about it either."

"Then, we don't have to. I'm just telling you I'm here because that could change."

"And because you think you can give me hot chocolate and a hug to make me all better."

"I won't if you don't want me to. I'll just stick close, and make sure you always have the safest place in the world to land."