Disclaimer: I do not own anything that you might recognize in this story.

A/N: First I would like to send my most enthusiastic thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, I was quite blown away by the response to the last chapter. I hope that this story continues to live up to your expectations. Also thanks to everyone who has added this story to their favorites and alerts, thank you so much, I cant begin to express how touched I am.

(did she just say she was touched in the head?)

It would seem that everyone so far very much wants little purple eyed Hermione / Severus babies…

I must admit, I do too! It will not happen for some time, there is still so much that needs to happen first, and until Hermione can truly put her past to rest she wont be ready to move on. I have said before this will be a long story, and some chapters will focus on how others are dealing with everything that is going on. Thanks for joining me on the ride, please keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times…

THANK YOU ALL!

So, this chapter is very emotions centered, good, bad, warm and fuzzy….there's just a whole lotta feelin' goin' on! Enjoy.

.lily

Severus woke to the sounds of a woman's screams coming from across the hall. He shot up in bed and took a moment to take in his surroundings. He wasn't in his bed; it was soft and warm but unfamiliar and the pants he was wearing were not his usual black silk night clothes but a navy flannel, they were worn and soft and he thought momentarily that he might invest in some similar pants, in black of course, for the cold London winters. The continued pained screams took only a minute to register as Hermione's. He was in her childhood home. He had spent the night. He had kissed her again. It had been soft and warm and so sensual for all it had been chaste. Severus grimaced as he realised that she was still screaming and he was sitting there thinking about her kisses.

Severus finally woke himself from his sleepy contented daze and burst out of the guest room and across to hers. He didn't bother to knock, just pushed the door open and ran to her bedside.

Hermione was tangled in her bedding; her purple camisole was riding up her thin stomach as she thrashed wildly about in bed but all Severus really had time to register was the loud screams she was emitting. She was kicking and begging her invisible attacker to kill her, to have mercy and just let her die. His heart broke for this woman, who looked so like a child fighting invisible monsters in his sleep, and it killed him to know she was fighting a memory. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up into his embrace, whispering her name in her ear, hoping she would wake and realize it was him and that he wouldn't traumatize her further with his presence.

It took a few minutes before she was fully awake and aware of the half clothed man who was holding her tight in his lap. "Severus," she said, in such a way it sounded like a whispered prayer, "Oh Severus, I am so sorry, so sorry." She was starting to cry into his shoulder, her face buried in his protective warmth.

"No, shhh, Hermione. It's okay. He can't hurt you anymore, no one can hurt you. Shhh. Don't cry, no one can hurt you. I will keep you safe Hermione, I promise you this," he told her kissing the top of her head.

Severus continued to hold Hermione as she calmed down, taking a moment to notice the tiny shorts and tiny little tank top she had on, likely left behind from her childhood. She was thin, so it all still fit, but her hips and breasts were straining against the fabric and if he noticed the slight moisture from her still leaking breasts he didn't say anything to her. He was amazed that, roughly a year after this woman had burst into his apothecary, no longer his student, she had managed to wheedle her way into his life and now he was in her bed, holding her as she cried and the thought didn't make him nearly as uncomfortable as it should.

When her sniffling seemed to have calmed down he took a chance and asked her if she wanted to talk about it.

"Not yet," she told him, "Just, could you lay with me Severus, please? I don't think I can sleep alone and I don't want to take more dreamless sleep. I used to take so much of it and I can't keep doing that. But I think, with you here, I can sleep. I feel so safe in your arms Severus. Why is that do you think?" she asked, not really expecting him to answer, "I have never felt so safe with anyone, but I feel completely protected in your arms. Please say you will stay with me tonight?" She was practically begging and she didn't even care if she sounded horribly desperate; she was tired and this man was what she found she needed and for once she wanted to ask for it.

"Of course, Hermione." How could I ever say no to you? You have me completely bewitched, he thought to himself. "Now, just go to sleep, I will be here. Always." The promise of always was whispered and he wasn't sure if he had wanted her to hear or not.

Severus laid awake for a while just watching the sleeping girl in his arms, thinking back again about how this had come to be; how he had ended up holding her in her bed while she slept. This past year knowing Hermione - not Miss Granger, who raised her hand much too often in class and was often more eager to please with her knowledge of the material than she was to explore new theories and ideas; no not her but Hermione. This past year had changed something deep within him.

Severus loved to tease her and more than that he loved that she would tease him back. So many people took his teasing as mean spirited and often it was, if he was honest and she had been no exception in the beginning, but she just found a way to laugh at herself and tease him right back with smart little remarks that had impressed him.

Somewhere along the way he had noticed that his eyes strayed to her rounded little backside as she bent over to pick something off a lower shelf and that his gaze lingered on her much longer than it did anyone else who came in to make purchases. Then when they had started having lunch together on Wednesdays he had found himself looking forward to that day above all else. She was smart and he realized that she had grown to be beautiful in the years since the war. It wasn't conventional but neither was her mind and even when her hair had still been a bushy mass that had a life force all it's own before he had started supplying the potions that tamed it into shining waves that framed her lovely face, she had something that drew him in and made him want more.

Severus had never been in a serious relationship. Life as a spy had robbed him of any opportunities that may have been there should he have met a woman who interested him; one who wasn't put off by the fact that potions work made his hair limp and slightly greasy or that his nose had been broken a few too many times in childhood, when magic was not permitted in his home, leaving him with a slightly crooked and hooked nose. There had been nothing but the casual dalliance with a female Death Eater and occasionally Death Eater wives. There had been a few out of town trysts before the Dark Lord's return, when he had more time free to research and travel during the holidays, but none of those had lasted longer than a week.

He hadn't felt the desire to share his life with anyone, even Lily had not been what everyone had assumed she was to him. She was beautiful certainly, and intelligent as well, but she was, beyond everything else, his best friend. There had been a point when he had believed he loved her, but as she had grown up and developed into a woman, her vanity had also become unappealing. He had been devastated at the loss of her friendship and at the time believed it to have been more. He often wondered if Dumbledore hadn't helped his obsessions with her to fester and ensure his protection of her son.

Hermione was different, in so many ways, from what Lily had been. Lily had been his first and only friend for so long and when you added that with the beauty of a young woman how could you not fancy yourself in love. He wasn't sure that he loved Hermione but he knew he could. Looking at her now, so peaceful in his arms, he knew that loving her would be easy and hoped he wasn't wrong when he thought that she felt the same way. Her warm sweet kisses had drugged him long ago, before they were really even friends when her quick little thank you peck had sent him reeling.

Severus finally drifted off to sleep thinking about intoxicating kisses with the woman wrapped in his arms; about slow explorations and light touches that turned more demanding and needy. It was the best sleep he'd had in years.

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling rested and secure and quickly realized that she hadn't just dreamt Severus' comforting presence in her bed, or in her life. A ray of light was streaking in through the curtains and highlighting their entangled forms. Hermione was amazed at how well she had slept with their legs entwined and her head cradled against his naked chest. Looking at him now while he was asleep she was more than pleased to see his lean figure and well defined muscles. It wasn't anything like Ron's bulky muscular frame that seemed over worked and unnatural. It was well formed and beautiful and not as pale as she might have thought before. His face seemed younger in sleep with some of the lines in his brow softened. She quickly realized that, as she had shifted to continue her visual exploration of his body, her thigh had rubbed against his stiffening cock to further bring it to life. She had to stifle a little squeak as her mind registered the fact that he was much better endowed than her soon to be ex-husband. Oh much, much better. She couldn't help her mind from thinking, as she rubbed her leg subconsciously against his erection.

His small sleepy moan brought her back to reality and she quickly realized she was teasing the sleeping man in her bed. She slowly inched her way away from him and slid quietly from the bed, hoping not wake him. With a last look at his sleeping form on her childhood bed, she padded her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth and use the loo. When she returned a few minutes later Severus was sitting up on her bed with his ankles crossed and he gave her a small sleepy smile. If he had noticed her subtle explorations of his person in his sleep he didn't mention it to her.

"Morning," she said, not quite looking him in the eye.

Embarrassed are we little minx? he thought, but only replied with a simple "Good morning Hermione. I trust you were able to get some sleep?"

"Yes thank you. I swear I didn't ask you to stay just to get you into my bed. I usually silence my room but I suppose I am a little lost without my wand." It was the truth. She didn't think he needed to know how much she had enjoyed having him wrapped around her when she woke, or that it was one of the few nights she could remember where she hadn't had to use dreamless sleep to escape the nightmares.

"If you insist Hermione," he teased her, enjoying the way she blushed when he did, "Though I must say I am surprised at how well I slept. I believe that is the first time I have woken with a woman in my arms and it is something one could easily become accustomed to." Her blush was rapidly spreading down her neck, coloring her most wonderfully.

"Yes, well. Thank you. I haven't slept that well in years actually," she admitted, "I'm just going to get dressed, if um…" She started chewing her lip as he continued to linger on her bed.

Severus took a moment to picture her stripping off her sleep clothes before he took pity on her. "I shall step across the hall and dress as well. I will meet you downstairs shortly. I can accompany you to your flat, so that you may retrieve your wand if nothing else. Would that be fine with you?" he asked her, wanting to say so much more, to kiss her again, to hold her, anything .

"Yes, that sounds perfect." When he stepped past her to leave she found herself drawn to him. It's just a little thank you kiss, she tried to tell herself as she pressed a hand against his chest and stepped up onto her toes, leaning in to kiss him with more feeling than she had been truly aware of.

Easy old man, Severus told himself as she pressed her lips to his and her body leaned in close. He felt himself harden as her lips parted and her warm little tongue darted out to taste his lips. His arms wrapped around her drawing her in closer as he opened his mouth to her kiss, letting her take the lead, not wanting to push her to fast. Her tongue was so sweet and playfully exploring his own mouth, twisting and curling around his own tongue. She tasted minty and clean and he wanted more.

Instead Severus found himself pulling from her perfect kiss, resting his forehead against hers and trying to calm his heart. He knew if he kept kissing her he would never want to stop. "Hermione. If we keep this up…" he left it there, not wanting to scare her with his desire for her.

"I know. I…Severus…I, um, thank you. That was perfect but I really think I should perhaps get dressed now, I will meet you downstairs in a few minutes when I can breathe again," she said with a breathy little moan to her voice.

"Of course Hermione," he told her, chuckling lightly at her breathless confession. He was feeling powerful knowing he had a similar effect on her that she'd had on him. He quietly excused himself to dress and compose himself before meeting her downstairs.

Hermione closed the door behind him as he left and then slunk down against the painted wood of her bedroom door and buried her face in her hands. What is wrong with me? I just lost my baby, my beautiful baby girl. I never got to see her. I didn't even think to ask about having her buried, I would have been an atrocious mum. I failed my marriage. Oh gods, I am still married and I've been snogging Severus Snape. Oh gods, but if his kisses aren't bloody brilliant. He just makes the pain go away, just for a little while. That's okay isn't it? She asked herself as if expecting an answer. Her thoughts were so jumbled and all she wanted to do was forget. Forget that she had married Ron, forget that she was jobless. She wanted to forget that she was bald, and that even if she had her wand the one thing she had never bothered to spend her time studying profusely was glamour charms so she had no idea how to grow it back, and she wasn't sure Severus would be of use there. He wasn't exactly a fan of 'silly wand waiving' unless it was for dueling. She doubted that hair growth charms were of much use for defense, who knew, perhaps there was some sort of 'Rapunzel' spell that would make someone's hair grow to great lengths and completely entangle them. Hermione snorted at her train of thought.

She thought she might be going a little mad after all that had happened. She had taken so many calming draughts since the attack, which is what she was choosing to call it, not wanting to say 'since her husband had used his wand to tie her to their kitchen table so he could rape and beat her, killing her baby' even in her own head. Her emotions were all muted and passive, and it seemed the only thing that had brought her from her emotion stupor was Severus, and he had somehow managed to awaken something in her that she thought Greyback had killed before she could ever discover it.

Yes she was definitely a bit mad. She had cried so much since she woke up in that hospital bed, for herself, and mainly for her baby. But there was some part of her that was secretly happy, and that part wanted to lock it's self in the bathroom and wretch with self-loathing.

She wasn't happy her baby was dead, but she had wondered what kind of a life she could have offered a child with Ron. She was certain now that he would have killed her at some point, he had just been getting worse as time went on. Would he have hit his own daughter? She wanted to say no, to believe that the boy she had once loved couldn't do that, but he didn't really exist now. Her husband was a cruel twisted man who war and drugs had ruined.

If it wasn't for Severus, I think I might just want to kill myself. She thought briefly, as she wondered what was left for her. Part of her wanted to go to Severus and let him fix it all, but she was so scared that what had been building within her for months wasn't real. She was a damsel in distress and he was ever the dark brooding hero. She wasn't sure it mattered. She knew she wouldn't refuse what he offered. At least she didn't want to, she still wasn't sure she could ever go much farther than their heated kisses.

Unless I let him Obliviate me…

She looked up and saw that she had been sitting on the floor for ten minutes letting her mind wander and realized that Severus was likely waiting for her. So she stood up and wiped the tears from her face and set about finding something in her wardrobe that would fit over her womanly curves and what was left of her baby belly.

When Hermione descended the steps a little while later to a patiently waiting Severus, he was nearly rendered breathless at the sight of her in a pale yellow sundress with a cream eyelet overlay. She was wearing a white sun hat to cover her bald and scarred head. The dress was taught against her breasts and fit her snugly over her still slightly protruding belly and her rounded hips. "You look lovely Hermione," he told her, holding back the growl that threatened to escape at the sight of her heaving chest and her bare, creamy, slender thighs.

"Thank you Severus. I'm afraid it's a bit tight and I don't feel myself without my hair but thank you." Hermione walked over and sat next to him on the couch. She chewed her lip for a minute, trying to work up the nerve to ask him for another and incredibly private and embarrassing favor. "Um, Severus?"

"Yes?" he asked, turning to look at her sitting next to him.

"Um well you see…I…squeezing, but it isn't enough…a cooling charm…better for now…if you could?" she asked, completely jumbled and incoherent, too embarrassed to get the words out.

He tried not to but he couldn't help but laugh at her. She was, for the most part, an incredibly articulate woman. Yet when she became flustered she was so adorably difficult to understand. "What was that Hermione? I am afraid that made no sense what so ever." He smiled at her as she practically buried her face in her lap, hiding from him.

"I'm sorry, it's just this is so embarrassing." She wasn't sure how she was supposed to talk to this man about her leaking breasts. A few months ago, before her feelings for him had become apparent to her, maybe. But now, when she had just been kissing him fifteen minutes ago, when she wanted to again…Now it was so hard and embarrassing, and she worried that he would be disgusted. Her breasts had leaked into her top a bit earlier when they had kissed, and she had hoped he hadn't noticed, but in the more snug top of the sundress all Hermione really registered was the pain she was feeling from the engorgement. She had tried to squeeze as much out manually as she could, but it wasn't much relief. She would have to add shopping onto her list of to-do's for the day.

"Hermione. You don't need to be embarrassed, whatever it is. I won't ever judge you, you know that." It was the honesty that she knew was not just in his voice but written all over his face even without looking that convinced her to find the courage to ask for his help.

"My milk is coming in and my breasts are killing me. I have been squeezing them but there is only so much that I can do about it until I can find a breast pump and there's no power, so any ice packs in the freezer will be warm anyhow and I have no wand and I was hoping that a cooling charm might help ease the pain, because they are quite squished into this dress and the pressure is nearly unbearable." She threw her head back against the couch and let out a sigh, hoping she hadn't just completely freaked him out.

Severus looked at the girl next to him and wondered why he hadn't really thought of it before. He had noticed a bit of moisture but thought it possibly injury related. He had been trying so hard not to ogle her form that he had missed what must have been painfully obvious. Of course her breasts seemed bigger; she had technically had a baby and her body had decided to produce milk. "Hermione. I told you, There is no need to be embarrassed. Or in pain," he told her as he pointed his wand at her chest and muttered a quick cooling charm. Her breath hitched and she let out a sweet little moan as the cold soothed her sore chest. "I do not however understand why you are talking about pumping your breasts." Though I wouldn't mind helping. He couldn't help but think the thought, or look briefly over her full chest. God they are magnificent. I wonder what her milk tastes like. Shit, where the hell did that thought come from? He had to tear his gaze away and snap out of it because he was missing whatever she was saying.

"…and she told me she could help me contact one of the banking agencies and I just thought that it might help me to deal with all of this if I was helping someone." She finished her explanation that he had only half heard.

Severus leant over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "You are absolutely amazing, do you know that Hermione? When most women would give up and hide away from the world you are standing strong and finding a way to make someone else's life better." He was in awe of the woman next to him but he knew she couldn't understand what he saw when he looked at her. "Hermione, you are magnificent. You are so strong, and beautiful, and kind, and your husband is an idiot. How he didn't see what I see in you I cannot comprehend other than to know he was a completely dunderheaded fool. You deserve so much more Hermione. So much more." The last words were whispered as he pressed his lips to hers.

Hermione twisted in her seat to wrap her arms around him, seeking more of him. It was all moving so fast and far too slow and she was losing all her bearings as his kiss warmed her to her toes and sent amazingly delicious tingles up her spine. She didn't even realize she had moaned his name into his mouth but the effect on him was instantaneous and he quickly lifted her into his lap, barely breaking the kiss for a second while he positioned her body on his.

The skirt of her dress slipped up her thighs, baring more creamy flesh to his eyes and the knowledge that the only fabric covering her warm center was her knickers soon had his erection pressing into her, seeking her heat. Her sweet moans were almost more than he could stand as he tried to keep himself from turning and pressing her into the couch cushions. One of his hands founds its way to her lower back and was starting to massage the soft roundness of her bum while his other hand held her upper body snugly against his.

When finally their kiss ended with a need for both of them to catch their breath he looked at her swollen lips and shining eyes and knew there would be no walking away from this. "Oh sweet Merlin Hermione. That…You are amazing. I have no idea how this happened, but I am so happy it has." He kissed her forehead and then relaxed back onto the couch, barely loosening his hold on her.

"I'm not sorry either. I think I have wanted this for longer than I let myself believe. I'm still married technically, though I plan on seeing what can be done about undoing that particular binding today. I am so happy you are here with me Severus. I think I wouldn't be able to get out of bed for the grief if it weren't for you, and I am just not ready to dwell on that yet. There is too much to do, and I am so incredibly tired of crying all the time, and I know that I'm not done. I know that I have to deal with the pain and loss of another child, but I can't yet. I just can't" she whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You make me trust that I can actually get through this and find myself again. But if I kiss you again I am not going to be able to get up and I do need my wand, and pretty soon you will have people lining up for potions at your door." Her smile was breathtaking and just for him, something new and special.

"Yes well, I find I am quite comfortable at the moment, perhaps people can get potions elsewhere today?" he asked her, only half joking.

Her answer was to raise her eyebrow and give him a half smirk half smile. "Come on," she said as she kissed his lips quickly before hauling herself up off his lap and onto her feet. She reached out a hand for him to take and helped haul him to his feet. "You really have no idea how much this means to me Severus. Not having to go through all this alone. It wouldn't be the same with anyone else. Thank you Severus."

"You can quit thanking me Hermione. Keep kissing me like that and I am sure I will do anything you ask; I would anyway. I already told you that. Surely you understand now," he told her, brushing the rough pad of his thumb across her kiss swollen lips. "Why don't I apparate us to your flat. We can find you your wand and I will be happy to escort you where ever you need to be today. Then whenever you are finished you can join me at work and help me get some brewing done. After all, you suggested that I needed to take on an apprentice. I am sure you are more than qualified Hermione, what do you think? We can get started and then send off the paperwork to the Masters Board for approval, though I don't see why they would deny you; it's just a formality. Please Hermione?"

Hermione's eyes quickly started to tear up and her lips trembled. "Oh Severus, it sounds perfect, really. But when I suggested an apprentice I really didn't mean me. I can't. I would love to, really. I just can't," she told him, disappointment ringing in her voice.

"Hermione, I realize it has been a few years since your schooling, but even still, you are brilliant and I am sure that your N.E.W.T.S. more than qualify you for…" He never got the chance to finish his sentence because she started to cry and fell into his arms seeking his warmth and strength, hoping he wouldn't be upset with her.

"You don't understand Severus. I wouldn't be qualified, I never sat my N.E.W.T.S. I wish I could Severus, I do. I just cant," she cried into his chest.

Severus just wrapped his arms around her, wondering why this bright witch, 'brightest of her age' wouldn't have sat her N.E.W.T.S. He knew it was set for all the so called 'wayward' students to return for tutoring and testing. "Hermione, I just don't understand, Minerva told me that you and several others were returning for testing. She tried to rope me into tutoring. I just don't understand. It isn't like you to skip your tests Hermione."

"I…I don't even remember what pathetic reason he had that day. Ron knew how important it was to me to take those tests. I had wanted an apprenticeship or to look into universities. He could never understand why I would want to take more tests and go through more schooling when I was one of the 'Golden Trio'. He said we could have had whatever we wanted, and he was probably right, though I think his plan all along was to keep me locked up at home, doting on him like a mini Molly. I was so stupid. He had just been through so much and when he said he needed me there, I was, and that day he needed me." She was so humiliated standing next to this brilliant man, who she was falling for and wanted to respect her. She had always prided herself on her brain and now she was only suited to being a shop girl.

Severus wanted to find the little shit that had beaten her down so completely. He couldn't understand why anyone would keep her from taking those tests and earning the scores everyone had expected of her. Her mind was as big a turn on for him as her sweet little body and heart shaped face. Talking with her for hours was never dull or lacking. Though he supposed if he had been a Quidditch crazed Auror with hardly two brain cells in his head to bang together and hope for sparks, Hermione's mind would be intimidating and overwhelming. Still, keeping her locked away like that was criminal. She deserved so much more and he was going to do everything in his power to prove that to her.

"Hermione. I want to kill him. You do realize this. I do not know that I would be able to stop myself from killing him if I find him first. He broke you and I can't stand it. He never gave you a chance, don't you see? He knew that without a way to get a good job you would be beholden to him; dependent on him. Hermione, you deserve more than that." He wrapped his arms around her and looked down into her face; her golden flecked eyes that seemed to burn into his own. "We will fix this. We will undo all the wrongs he perpetrated against you. We will go get your wand and you will figure out how to get out of your marriage and run whatever errands you need to run. I will go shopping and pick up some groceries and then we will arrange to give your daughter a proper burial like I know you want to but are afraid to ask for. You can come help me in the lab, tests or no tests, I know you are able. Everything else we will just figure out then, alright?"

"Alright Severus. Thank you, I don't know if I will ever stop thanking you. For being my friend, for finding me, for believing in me, for holding me and making me forget even for a minute that my husband and childhood friend turned into something I can't recognize, or that I can't recognize myself. You make me feel like you see me. You look at me Severus and I feel like it will all be okay. Please, don't stop looking at me that way." She felt like he was all that was keeping her afloat at the moment and she was so terrified to let go. She was terrified that she would fall in love with him and he wouldn't love her back, that she was not enough for him.

"Hermione, what I cannot begin to fathom is why you look at me that way. I look at you and see a beautiful creature whose wit is unparalleled and whose conversations challenge me, whose kisses have me completely intoxicated and confused and happier than I have dared to be in a long time. Just trust that whatever this is Hermione; I will not just walk away from you because you are healing or because it is too hard. I would be a fool and Severus Snape is no fool." He smirked at her and when she smiled he knew that she believed his words. How this woman managed to pull so much from him, so much truth and emotion and hope he wasn't sure, but he was happy for it, whatever that power was.

Hermione was at a loss for words. This man had been so difficult to break down; to open up. First it was just biting remarks that led to playful jibes. Then it was potions conversations and theories and eventually just friendly conversation. But Severus always played it close to the vest, never giving too much of himself away. He had just spoken to her with such open honesty and left himself so exposed that it left Hermione feeling naked, like this man could see into her soul and she could finally start to see more of his. She knew she never should have married Ron, but she wondered if she hadn't the need for so many healing potions if she would have had the chance to get this close to the dark Potions Master who was still holding her so tight and who was giving her hope again.

She couldn't find the words to thank him so she simply did the only thing she could think of; she kissed him with as much passion and feeling as she had, hoping he understood that she wouldn't take his words for granted.

A/N: Well I will continue to keep tabs on the babies front for anyone who has an opinion. The how is still very undecided, though I am leaning in a certain direction.

Aside from babies is there anything you are wanting to see in this story? Anything you would want to hunt me down and strangle me over?

The next chapter will be much more angsty as Hermione returns to the scene of the crime, funeral arrangements are made, and bank accounts are checked.

Did I mention there will be some Kinglsey in the next chapter too!

Keep Reading, and Reviewing, makes me giddy!

.lily