April 1st, 2030

And the world was still insane as it had been for good old Luan Loud, once a prank-loving, joke-telling girl who had her sanity break into pieces the moment she collected the profound realization that she had been, and always will be, alone. Alone in the hospital of Royal Woods. No Luna to apologize, no Lynn to come get her, or anyone else for that matter. It hurt. It hurt so much to her that she needed to make it sane, therefore she made it the opposite.

The world was a mad place, hopelessly beyond saving. It lost its way, a tragic place where the jokes consisted of the suffering and the misery of others, whether it be some freak accident or an inevitable suicide. Only, her eyes were open and she felt she understood that it was all a joke. What more was there but to take the drugs and pretend it was all going to be okay for her in the end?

For the past few years, Luan had flourished a totally different way, having heightened her insanity ten-fold. All she did was laugh at the pain she ran from, and there was no denying that she did so. But the thing was, she had never acknowledged it, or maybe it never clicked on her, but she laughed quite a lot. And while she did so, Luan was also doing the insane.

Luan Loud was a murderous clown who went places and wielded knives and any stabby-stabby tools her frail, pale hands could grab wherever she can. She murdered, and went wherever the wind took her, and that meant she left a trail of corpses along the way. Her reasoning was that she followed the world's unpredictable directive of creating such insanity where people would never know why she killed those she did, or why she smeared paint on the toilets of every fast food bathroom she came across. Unpredictable. Luan Loud. One and the same.

Luan stole the clothes of all female victims as long as they were able to fit her. She left many slashed up corpses this way, which sometimes bafflwd the detectives in some of her cases. Currently, Luan waa sporting a yellow miniskirt with an adorable pink shirt, and some high heels, too. Her brown hair had been kept down, mostly straightened down with a hint of wavy. She happened to have some faint blood stains on her pink shirt, but the color had made it look darker than it should have been, almost like it was just water that decorated it unless anyone took a closer look at it.

Today was a special day, the annual perfect day where she would spent going around and pranking her family members to the extreme. Only, in the brand new days, she deviated from that and went for twice the bloodbath she was used to.

Luan had started her happy day with a slaughter-fest at a gas station early in the morning. An employee and three customers, all hapless the minute they came inside, had their lives taken from Luan and that cursed kitchen knife. It started first with the cashier behind the register, where she jumped over the counter and butchered him, an elderly man of clear Indian descent, severely. This made a pool of blood, and her shoes had made bloody footprints that alerted the incoming others.

She made a mess, and was giggling uncontrollably while shaking away at the blood-stained knife with her trembling hands. At one point, Luan ran her tongue across the knife, seductively licking the blood away, moaning with delight. And then, she was suddenly horny.

"Oh!" Luan was masturbating with the knife. No, she didn't have the sharp end inserted deep into her vagina, you sickos! She held it by the blade, inserting the knife's handle in and out of her womanhood as she moaned, keeping at it in the back room of the gas station. The cold flood below was stinging her legs until she leveled her skin with the temperature. "Ahhh! Ahhh, y-yeah!"

And she squirted out the pleasure fluid after a few minutes of tapping to the horrific bloodshed, sighing with great relief as she pulled out the knife. She remained on the floor, lying around her juices and near the pool of blood of the cashier, smiling like the psycho she waa.

Pity that none of her newfound victims were female, otherwise she would have gone to change herself now that she was born blood and cum stained. The crazy woman was not a professional in covering her own tracks, really. She had left pieces of herself in past murders, but the one thing she thought to do right was destroying the surveillance monitors. What she did right was her quick move to leave the scene, and do so as far away as she was able to so that she could restart the madness again and leave the world a little more red, one location at a time.

She snatched the keys off one of the bodies, prancing majestically to the pumps as she figured out which car these belonged to; a red convertible at the far end of the gas pumps awaited her. Luan started it and took off, forgetting that the car hadn't been filled up.

"Oh, fuck me!" Luan left anyway, driving away from the barren gas station.

Act I: Enter The Dawn, Chapter VI: The Comedienne

She abandoned the car some fifteen miles later when it died on her, making her walk it the rest of the way. No cop cars had come running the opposite way in between, meaning they either arrived from behind, or it had gone unreported as of yet.

She was basically in the middle of nowhere of somewhere she didn't bother to care, surrounded by endless fields of corn. Wherever she went, it was all the same, wondering about in a pattern. There was a small town just up ahead, more smaller in contrast to Royal Woods. She wondered if she could call this a town when she saw only one street full of short buildings on either side of them. By then, she had grown quite weary and fell on the side of an auto shop at the right side upon entering. The knife in her pocket briefly poked her when she fell, prompting her to turn fully on her stomach.

"Yeeeeowwww... Why all this walking? G-give me another car, please..." She begged to the sky. "What's the plan for me?"

A wind kicked in and blew dirt into her-

"Hey! Don't-!" Luan jumped up, wiping away her eyes while she cursed the author of this possibly yet-to-be-convoluted fanfic. "Why do you hate me?"

Don't make me end this chapter here.

Luan's green eyes widened with shock. "Ehehehe... Never mind!"

She took her time to rest for awhile before starting again, watching the roads for any passing cars coming in or out. She saw only a handful, but not enough to get an idea how populated the town was. Right now, the plan was to get some food, and her dumbass had the regret of not taking from the gas station back there- another rookie mistake on her part. "Aw, I don't suppose you can give me a re-do?"

"Laaaaaaaaaaaadies and gentleman of the morbidly silent crowd, give your decomposing hands up for the one and only murderous Luan Loud of Royal Woods, and her ventriloquist dummy Mister Coconuuuuuuts!"

The velvet curtains separated from each other to reveal Luan and her dummy, standing on the stage. In front of her, the audience- actually endless rows of dead bodies- made her gradually nervous, actually halting her planned acts. Legs shivered enough to make her feel like she'd fall off the face of the earth, teeth chattering intensely that she could have a job slicing carrots, and the back of her neck went dead cold, all of which had helped her go frozen.

The dummy came alive in her hand and moved its head. "Hey, dummy, hurry the fuck up and get on with the shitty jokes!"

Luna gulped nervously before advancing, moving in front of the microphone. She picked it off from its st and and greeted everybody. Literally everybody. "H-hello, m-my name is Luh-Luan Loud, and tonight I'm gah-gonna do-"

Her eyes scattered throughout the audience, and when she saw her family there, her heart sank. Her parents and Lucy were burnt corpses, and would have been unrecognizable if not for the clothes they've worn in the past era. For the rest of her siblings, they were just like they've had been before the fire, but the more she started, they all began to go transparent, up until all of them had gone invisible.

"I... I wanted-" The dummy began cackling fiendishly before she could continue to speak.

"Let me tell you what I want, toots! What I desire to be is a nice chunk of firewood, maybe like pieces put in a nice, blazing campfire! Ooh, I know! Why not add me to the fire that started back home?" The dummy laughed more disorderly and then broke away from Luan's grasp. "Everyone, being a lifeless dummy, I do have one but only one joke that I've carried with me since this girl has ever had the dishonor to hold me!"

Luan squealed painfully. "M-Mister Coconuts-"

"LUAN LOUD, EVERYBODY!" The dummy announced with pride, roaring away along with the audience who laughed back as a horde. It kept cackling, mocking Luan harshly until the inside of its mouth echoed out fire, with its eyes catching on fire, making for a haunting image for Luan. And then, the dummy was completely on fire, slumping over into a blazing mess as the corpses all sitting down suddenly rose up and began clapping fast in perfect unison. A couple of heads literally rolled off, some few limbs sliding right out of several bodies, and blood went and trickled from their skin, and Luan had not been able to handle the bloodshed properly. "Wait, wait, wait-!"

Then, the synchronized corpses all fell lifelessly as if they were ragdolls, and so had the three deep-fried family members. With that, the lights above her went out, as well as the burning dummy, submerging the entire theater into darkness. She stumbled backwards, making cresky footsteps while she had her arms around to feel something, anything she could. And her fingers did make contact with something fleshy.

"Oh- H-hello-" The lights came alive again, only for Luan to completely lose it when she was in direct contact with a zombified Luna, who held a broken beer in her left hand, greeted her with a deadly, stone-hearted look. "L-Luna-!"

She was right to be scared when Luna rammed the shattered end of the best bottle into her stomach.

She blinked again and separated herself from the daydream, finding herself in a cornfield near a small house. "What-? How did-?"

It happened again. She sighed in defeat and sorrow as she moved toward the house and circled it. She reached the front porch and knocked, knife still intact on her, not loose or visible in any way. Hungry, and thirsty she was, calling it barely a miracle to have sufficient energy to have made it this far.

And when the house owner had come to answer, Luan had almost deemed it a fast kill to perform on her part, but things changed when the woman, a middle-aged brunette with long hair, just as tall as her, had greeted her warmly. "Hello! Can I help you?"

Luan took notice of her stomach, realizing it was fat for normal. The woman was pregnant, and Luan was no baby killer. "H-hi... I was wondering if-"

Later

She knocked the woman out, which was just as dangerous unbeknownst to her, but continued to not mind it and scavenge for food. She ate, drank, and used the toilet since... Fuck knows when. There was even toilet paper as well! It definitely pleased her nonetheless, serving as a friendly trip down memory lane. If only familiar faces helped to make her a hundred percent at home.

The table was left in a mess, spread with empty bowls of stew the woman made, along with two glasses of soy milk Luan had never had the decency to taste before, but she found it quite delicious to her taste buds, and was on the verge of going to the bedroom right after she had used the toilet.

This was the exact moment a man, presumably the husband, had come back. He, an aging man in his early forties, of a chubby build and short stature, only became alarmed at his downed wife, brushing around her to frantically wake her up. "Honey? Honey, hey-"

Luan popped out, dancing majestically to the living room. "Oh, hello, good sir! Your lovely wife here is only taking an unscheduled nap for the next... For awhile!"

The man bounced back from the ground and stood cautiously facing the insane young woman with the full stomach. "What have you done to my wife?!"

Later

And this never really happens in real life, or in enough movies or books, but Luan had somehow achieved to convince this husband and father of a beginning family to have sex with her. He was named on the bed, laying flat on his back while she, having removed only her stolen skirt, had sat onto the top of his huge manhood, moaning out when it penetrated her clit, entering the cave of warm flesh. Her womanhood proved to be tight, and they both felt it when she moved slow to take it all. Luan was facing away from the man, only having a desire to ride the hell out of him. The man, however, latched his arms with hers and started rubbing on them as soon as she began to fuck him well.

"Ohhhh..." She gasped sharply in a pattern, actually feeling a sort of rough sensation inside of her. This wasn't the first time she actually had sex, so there was no way her cherry would pop here. The older man ran his hands on her body when graduating from her arms, and then helped Luam out by thrusting his pelvis up and down, which brought about the sound of flesh smacking against itself within minutes. Someone had come home, hehe.

Luan moaned more aggressively and louder, already feeling that familiar sensation to ejaculate her love fluids from her body. And that she did, while hoping that her partner did not plant his own seed into her while she took the nice sizable cock all for herself. "F-faster!"

He tugged on her hands, pulling her body downwards as he kept banging her right side up while also enjoying the pretty brunette's sexy company.

When it stopped, and when Luan was raising herself off from the man's erect cock, she finally saw what really was; she had actually killed him before she went ahead and committed necrophilia with the corpse. Surprise. His throat had been slit when and after she forced him at knife-point to the bed.

Luan merely chuckled and laid next to the body, kissing it on the cheek. "You... You were fantabulous! I could fall in love with you, good man! Oh, but we'd have communication issues!"

She looked up at the ceiling just as the wife, up and about, shrieking to the top of her lungs. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MICHAEL?!"

"Uhhh... A happy time?' Luan raised her shoulders, unsure of how to answer.

April 22nd, 2030

And the world became even more gradually insane after that. She made a funky mistake later on; a lame attempt to break into a clothes store. The tiny, and entire police department had come and taken her in as easy as pie. They found the knife, got her prints, and later ID'd her as Luan Loud, the main suspect in the murder cases set in a trail.

Currently, she was in a cell, whistling the song Camptown Races while bashing her head along the concrete wall. The tubby sheriff, sitting in his crampy desk with his legs folded over it, rested firmly while he kept watch of her.

She didn't notice it at all, only receiving a bloody forehead along with a headache. The wiring in her head changed, imploring her to sing another song this time. "For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow..."

"Hey, girlie, keep it down!" The sheriff gasped out with a croaky voice. "Go to sleep or something, fuck's sake."

"Hey, hey!" Luan wiped the blood off of her forehead. "There is nothing to do! Why are you torturing me?! Clown!"

The sheriff groaned out, smacking his lips. "Fucking crazy wannabes... I've only dealt with blonde spider-huggers when I was an exterminator years ago..."

Just then, the precinct gained an unexpected visitor in the form of a man.

"Oh, goodie! It's time for me to be recruited into the team, right?"

The man, Elmont from the off-the-books division, approached the sheriff's desk, holding a folder which contained a few documents that relinquished Luan from the precinct's care. "I'll be taking your little slasher problem from here."

"And just in time, too!"

May 13th, 2030

The special concoctions in the infirmary of the Patriot Division had left her throwing up all over the floor, and on her personal handler, some eggheaded expert on the medical field. What the special medicine did for her was suppress her uncontrollable impulses and insanity. They did explain it to her only once, but Luan didn't understand their complex English to the point she snored halfway through the rundown of what the medicine did to her.

And to brief it up, Luan's dopamine and hyperactivity reversed back slowly as she took more of the medicine overtime within the agency, establishing the old Luan back on solid ground. The only thing, it wasn't a permanent thing, rather like a constant medication she had to take many times.

The only downside is that she felt more again, and delved into the memories of the time after the fire. She touched the side of her head where Luna had once struck with a beer bottle. That was the last thing she happened to remember, and with great pain as well. Luna, the roommate and her closest sister both physically and emotionally, had done her in, and had broken her for so long. How was it that she was able to get a grasp of reality now? What was different when she gave herself no agenda, and strayed from the path of the old world? How was she running blindly for an unknown number of years without being stopped, caught?

Maybe that was it. Maybe Luan was meant to be a killer with a knife, but did it matter that she'd lost her head in the process?

"That... Hey, this really makes my stomach turn... I might be allergic!" Luan coughed out the last of her vomit, feeling dreadfully queasy. "Can I get some water?"

"Miss Loud, I would strongly advise against it," her handler denied. "Water will counteract-"

"Ugh, okay, fine..." Luan wiped her mouth and left the infirmary, leaving the mess to the cleanup crew. "Talk later, my dude!"

"M-miss Loud-!" But she was gone.

She went to the bottom floor of the secret facility, going back to her own room. This floor, the last one of there, was the living quarters made for some of the agents in the ranks of the Patriot Division, and that applied to Luan now. Hers was the third on the right end of the long, brightly-lit white hall. There was a total of twenty four rooms, twelve on each side, and each room was able to cram two people in each one. The only problem was that all of them only came with two beds per room, and nothing more to offer. Luan had meant to decorate it in between her learning sessions, but hadn't the resources to give it the proper touch-up. At least not yet, anyway.

She was the first one to be of a different type of agent for them. The way her collector, Alexander Elmont, the head of this agency, had described it to her sounded as if this was some sort of superhero event, with the whole debriefing of this so-called Vial Corporation, and the role her younger sister Lisa played. Of course, Luan was skeptical, and hadn't bought into these claims just yet.

May 27th, 2030

And when she did, she found that there was more to what had been disclosed to her.

Lola and Lana had the privilege to reunite with both big brother Lincy and FBI agent Lynn after a little skirmish had been broken up between the latter two. Luan was put on the bench and wished the twins good luck when they had gone out to catch these two new so-called phemomenons, the new name that had been picked up around her speeding sisters, which she figured was another term for super freak or something of the sort.

Lynn and Lincoln both came back, with Lincoln himself being the only one in cuffs. Luan and Lynn had started at each other for a prolonged amount of time when they recognized each other, before it turned into a group hug with all the siblings. "Oh, my God!"

"Y-you?! Where- Where the fuck did you go after all these years?!" One second Lynn looked fine, and then she was actually crying, dropping tears before Luan, struck by the hell of a life-long mystery that was finally answered. "You're alive!"

The twins stood smiling away with pure joy, while Lincoln himself was just leaving around his handcuffs, before Elmont escorted both Lynn and Lincoln into the fortified interrogation room.

"Listen- We'll... We'll talk later, I hope-" Lynn promised Luan before disappearing with Lincoln.

Luan was inquiring about this event. "H-how-?! What the hell, is that really-?"

The twins were both just as happy as she was with the new development they've reached to, laughing away with happy tears in each of their eyes. "I know, right?! It's been so long, and-" Lana was too emotional for her own good, and broke down for Lola to take her in on her shoulder, giving her a nice rubbing and patting on her body.

"We've... We all have so much to catch up on, guys," Luan figured. "Maybe we can finally fill in the pieces, after all this time. I'm just dying to see Aunt Rinn again!"

Lana and Lola stopped smiling and gave each other sad looks as they entered the elevator, and Luan had pressed the bottom floor, not noticing them. "Y-yeah... Aunt Rinn..."

The short ride was silently awkward for the twins, but not for Luan, the girl they allowed to be happy until they would go on and break the news of Rinn Reagan's fate to her.

"Oh, right..." Luan had forgotten something about the past that might cause some sort of scuffle between Lynn and-

Luna stood leaning against the hall, near the elevator when the three women had come out. "Hey, dudes. Welcome back."

AN: This Luan chapter finalizes the commencement for the main Louds being integrated into the Patriot Division that's just started out, as been revealed in a previous chapter. They'll be back in chapter ten, but while you wait, time for us to dive into never-before-seen dives into the ground territory of others. For sure this was just as short as the last pair of em, but Luan's story has just begun. More to tell with her just the same.

Next... Tackling a character I never have before.