Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but if I could find a way to get paid to do what I loved...
A/N: Thank you , thank you! For the continued support and readership that this story has been receiving as well as all of the amazing support I have received from you all as I work to sort out a few things in my private life. you guys rock! Here is the next chapter in this long tale. It is temporarily being posted un-betad, though none of you have yet slaughtered me for my grammar…I do hope you enjoy. I'll shut up now as I have a tendency to get rather long-winded here.
All my thanks-
*fresh new lily*
Friday morning Bill Weasley was hard at work at his desk in Gringotts Wizarding Bank going over files pertaining to an upcoming trip he was taking to China when an unfamiliar Owl swooped through his open window and landed gracefully on his desk careful not to disturb any of his piles of parchment or the framed photographs of his family. "Well hello there gorgeous, normally the only pretty bird in this office is my wife. Where did you come from? Is that for me?" he asked motioning to the scroll attached to the bird's leg. It wasn't very common for Bill to receive personal correspondence at work, frankly since Fleur had decided to stay home no one really bothered to contact him for much, they all knew she made the decisions anyhow. Bill reached out and untied the scroll from the leg of the black and grey owl, which was quite unlike any owl he had seen before. She didn't fly away so he could only assume that whoever had written him was expecting a reply. "I'll just get to this now then should I?"
Bill recognized the neat penmanship instantly.
Bill,
Do you like Perdita? She is a most beautiful bird isn't she? There is something about her that simply called to me, almost like she reminds me of someone. She is a South American Horned Owl who was abandoned by her previous owner because of her temperament. I must admit she does seem to be scowling, though I find it only makes me smile.
Bill had to laugh at that, she would pick a black owl that seemed to scowl all the time. It was no wonder the bird reminded her of someone; it was the owl version of Snape.
I thought the name Perdita was fitting. She was the lost daughter of Hermione in Winter's Tale, which is where I got my name, in case you were wondering. I thought it prudent to get an owl for myself now that I won't be living right in Diagon Alley. At least this way I can stay in touch more easily. And perhaps if Severus knows that I have some company and a means of communication should I need it he won't find it necessary to pop home every few hours to check on my wellbeing. Honestly!
Well that is why I was owling you actually, not Severus checking in on me, it's sweet really. But it is Severus, or me, or rather what I mean is…Okay, none of this is coming out quite right and I find that my emotions are so high strung I can't seem to string together a proper sentence together. What I am trying to say is I have something I would very much like to discuss with you in private. Severus has found a solution to one of my problems but it leaves me terrified and you are the only one I can talk to about it. I am sure you understand. It would mean a great deal to me if you could meet me at my home for lunch today if you didn't have other arrangement. I am afraid it is rather time sensitive.
Thank you Bill. You are a wonderful friend I am happy to call my pseudo-brother.
All my love to Fleur and little Victoire.
Hermione
P.S. Enclosed you will find directions to the house. As I am sure you can imagine Severus has it warded very well and you'll have to walk the last block or so and knock on the front door. Send Perdita back with your reply. I am looking forward to seeing you. – H.
Bill quickly penned a note letting her know to expect him around one that afternoon and went back to work, wanting to get as much done as possible knowing that if it was his council that Hermione needed Greyback was involved, and if that was the case he would hate to have to run back to the office right away leaving her alone to deal with her emotions. In the past any talk that had to do with Greyback and what she had been through had been rather emotionally draining for both of them and often ended up with him rocking her to sleep in his arms. He sincerely hoped that whatever it was she alluded to that Snape could do to help would work. He loved Hermione like a little sister, she deserved to be happy and free of the pain she had to live with.
Hermione was trying to focus on the Potions text in front of her, but her mind kept going back to what she had to face that night with Severus. She had agreed to do the first 'session' that night. 'Session' sounded so cold and clinical. She wished it could be. How was Severus supposed to look at her the same after what he would see in her mind? If it was anyone else it might not be so bad, but she was terrified that Severus wouldn't want her anymore, not after seeing the truth. It was one thing for him to know that she had been attacked by the monster; it was another entirely to have to be there when it happened. Hermione knew that was what it would be like for him. He would know what she felt, what she thought, and what she had said.
Finally a knock at the door heralded Bill's arrival for lunch and she couldn't be happier. She desperately needed someone to talk to about everything. George was her normal confidante, but when it came to what happened at Malfoy manor she trusted her secrets with Bill. Hermione quickly pulled the door open and with one look at Bill he rushed in to sweep her into his arms.
Hermione hugged Bill tightly as he lifted her up off her feet and gave her a big squeeze before setting her back down. "Oh Bill, I am so happy you came. I really don't know who else to talk to. Come in please," she told him as she led him inside and towards the living room.
Bill smiled warmly at her as he followed her into her house. "Of course I couldn't pass up coming here, love. You said you needed to see me, so here I am. I managed to take the rest of the day off too, said there was a family matter to attend to and since I managed to get all my paperwork taken care of no one really kicked up a fuss. So whatever you need, I'm here. Until suppertime that is, or Fleur will have my hide," Bill said, giving her a little wink as he winked about his wife. It was no secret to anyone in the family that Fleur ran a tight ship.
Hermione beamed at Bill. She really needed to talk to someone, Bill in particular, and she had been worried about trying to fit everything into one lunch break. The fact that he took off early from work was so sweet. "You are a wonderful man Bill Weasley. Come on, let's sit. I made tea." Hermione gestured towards the sofa and the tea tray set out on the coffee table.
Bill scrunched his nose at the mention of Hermione's tea. "Tea? I uh…do you have water, some juice maybe? A butterbeer would be nice if you have any? No offence Hermione, but you really shouldn't be allowed to make tea. Or toast. Say, do they have any good takeout around this place? I was told this was a lunch date after all. And like I said, you really shouldn't be in the kitchen." Bill was rewarded for his teasing with a smack to the arm.
Hermione pretended to pout at Bills insults to her culinary talents, of which she knew she had none. The kitchen was simply never a place she excelled. It was perhaps the first thing that should have tipped her off that she should not have married a Weasley. "I will have you know William that Severus bought me tea bags and assured me that all I had to do was steep them in the boiling water for five minutes, so the tea should be perfectly palatable. It isn't as good as his is though, of course he doesn't need the tea bags. So drink up, though I am sure I can find something else to go with lunch," she informed him, annoyance clear in her voice, as he couldn't help but laugh that Severus had to buy her what sounded like idiot proof tea.
Bill laughed amusedly at her indignation. "Love, I'm not going to pretend that I know what a tea-bag is, but if you can turn it into drinkable tea I suppose I'll give it a shot. That still doesn't answer my questions about lunch though," he told her in true Weasley fashion, patting a hand over his stomach to indicate that he might expire if she didn't feed him and soon.
It was Hermione's turn to laugh. "Whatever was I thinking? I invited a Weasley to lunch and here I am trying to have a polite cuppa."
"You obviously lost your marbles. Mum would have had a biscuit in my mouth by now at the very least. Surely you learned that much in your tenure as a Weasley." Bill had the intelligence at least to put his arms up to protect his head from the onslaught of rapid fire hits Hermione was attacking him with. "Okay, okay, I didn't mean it. Just tell me there's food and that you didn't cook it and I will swear that you are without a doubt my favorite," he told her emphatically.
Hermione shook her head at him. "Favorite what Bill? Your lunch is now completely dependent on how you answer that." She was smiling as she said it, but her voice didn't give Bill a lot of hope that she was joking.
As his brain worked to come up with a suitable answer to the question, hoping it would indeed lead to a decent meal, his face twisted and contorted comically. "My favorite sister…friend…girl who isn't either my wife or daughter."
Hermione doubled over in laughter at Bill. He sounded like he was on one of those muggle game shows where you had to come up with the right answer before the clock runs out or get eliminated. "Fine, fine. You can eat. And I didn't cook so you're in luck. Severus made a wonderful eggplant lasagna last night and there is more than enough left over. It would be a pity not to share. Although, I had considered making you a grilled cheese sandwich instead."
The look on Bill's face as Hermione told him he almost got stuck with her grilled cheese was quite pitiful. "You wouldn't hold out on me like that love."
Hermione tilted her head side to side as if weighing her options. "I suppose not. Besides, there's too much left and it really is too good to not share," she told him. "Come on then, why don't we take this to the kitchen then?" Hermione got up off the sofa and led the way into the kitchen, being sure to take the tea tray with her.
It only took her a moment to pull the leftover eggplant lasagna from the refrigerator and hit it with a heating charm to get it up to temperature and make the cheese nice and gooey. When she had served up two plates, Bill's with a substantially larger portion, she took her seat the table and gestured for Bill to do the same. "Tuck in Bill. It really is best while it's still hot," she told him, taking her fork to cut into her piece so she could savor her first bite.
Bill took quite a few bites before he stopped for air. "Wow, this really is good. Snape cooked this huh? Maybe it's like being good at potions means you can cook. Wait, no, that's not right. Weren't you pretty ace at potions? Nope, that can't be it then or you wouldn't be so clueless around the kitchen." Bill quickly stuffed another forkful into his mouth moaning with pleasure at the taste.
Hermione rolled her eyes, both at his show of enjoyment over Severus' cooking and his constant reminder that she was not culinary inclined. "No, it isn't about potions. He doesn't even measure anything. Just dashes and pinches and he makes it up as he goes along. You aren't supposed to just make it up. There are supposed to be recipes and directions, measurements and temperature gauges. I honestly don't know how he does it, but he is pretty brilliant in the kitchen, looks wonderful in an apron if you ask me," she wagged her eyebrows a little at Bill, letting him know just how much she appreciated the sight of her wizard cooking in her kitchen.
Bill smiled at her, pleased to see her so contented and taken care of. "I don't suppose it matters though if you can't cook, as long as you can get the man to come over and cook for you pretty often you should be set. Though I must say that if you start to fill out those jeans of yours any better he'll be bound to have some competition for your affections soon. You look good, almost happy. Quite voluptuous." It was Bill's turn to waggle his eyebrows this time.
Hermione blushed as she took another bite so she wouldn't have to say anything right away. When she finally swallowed all she could think to say was "What is it with all you men and these damned jeans. Even George had a look at my arse in them. They are just jeans, and like you said, my arse is a bit on the lumpy side these days…"
Bill was going to have none of that. "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Now look here missy, I said you were voluptuous, and that's a good thing. I never said a damned thing about being lumpy thank you very much. You have a few curves, and compared to the stick thin girl you were becoming before your pregnancy I say it is a good thing, and I hope it stays. You look good; I said that I'm sure. You look healthy too. It's all good. So if you are done feeling bad about your body could we please talk about why you sent me an owl this morning please? I am sure that your uh…that Severus," he wasn't entirely comfortable using the man's given name, and it showed when he said it, but he didn't suppose she enjoyed hearing him called Snape all the time as that had a tendency to sound a bit cold and bitter on most tongues, "could tell you just why there is nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to your looks." Bill looked a little uncomfortable trying to assure her of her beauty. If she was anyone else it wouldn't have been a problem really, but with everything she had been through it was difficult to compliment her without her taking it as pity or false or even worse as a blatant come on, and he really didn't want her to think any of that. She was his sister for all intents and purposes and he thought she was a beautiful witch, but he was still a man, and a Weasley at that, subtlety wasn't his forte and that was what was called for. Snape on the other hand was a master of subtlety, he could handle that one.
Hermione looked a little ashamed that she had let herself get worked up over a simple little comment. "Sorry Bill. I shouldn't let it all get to me like that, it's just hard sometimes. I know it was supposed to be a compliment so I'll just say thank you and we can move on alright," she offered, trying to actually sound gracious.
Bill gave her a small smile knowing it was hard for her, as she had said, and he didn't want to make it worse. "Moving on. So what is it that you wanted to talk about Hermione? You said something about having found a solution to one of your problems, but I take it that the solution in itself is a problem," Bill sounded a little unsure as he said it.
Hermione nodded. "Yes, see Severus told me that there is a way he can stop me from having the flashbacks and let me finally move on and not be so scared every time someone touches me the wrong way or gets the slightest bit upset. I can't begin to tell you how much I really want to put it all behind me. The Manor, what Ronald did, I want to be able to make it through the day without thinking about what they did to me and letting it run my life. I just don't know if I can do it though," she told him honestly, knowing that he would understand her fear at least, and how badly she wanted to be rid of it. They had talked about as much before. She told him how Ron touching her would trigger a flashback and how they consumed her, how she could still smell the stink of the monsters breath breathing on her neck, and how she could feel his claw like nails scratching into her skin where rough fingers trailed in an attempt to seduce her. It had been a constant source of pain in her life since the day it had happened, never lessening with time.
Bill looked at her with sadly understanding eyes from across the table as she sipped slowly from her tea cup. "Hermione, I know how much this has affected you, how it has controlled your life. If he can help you should let him. What do you have to lose?" he asked her sincerely, not quite understanding what her hesitation was.
Hermione shook her head in recalcitrance. She wasn't ready to give in and let Severus see into those memories. "I just can't. I'd lose him. I can't lose Severus Bill. I know it all seems so sudden from the outside. Sometimes in here too," she gestured towards herself. "but he's everything to me. He was becoming everything to me when I know I shouldn't have let him but, I love him Bill, and I can't risk losing him over this. It's just that I am afraid I'll lose him anyways if I don't. I know that things wouldn't have been so terrible with Ronald if I hadn't been so afraid all the time. I was a terrible wife. I know that," she was trying not to cry as she told him her reasoning without actually telling him anything.
Bill didn't know whether to smile and be happy that she had found love in her life after years in what must have been a miserable sham of a marriage or be sad that she was so afraid to lose it. "I must say I'm happy that you're in love again, not that I can claim to understand the 'with who' part really, but since I happen to think that he is very likely in love with you as well I am certainly not going to begrudge your choice. I want you to be happy. I'm afraid I still don't understand though. Why would you lose him? What is it he would have to do to in order to help you? Maybe that will help me understand why you are so scared of doing it," Bill told her, hoping she could find a way to explain what was troubling her that he could understand.
Hermione tried to steady her nerves as she went into the whole story of how the procedure would work. She told him as little as she could about how he and Albus had come to discover the technique and just focused on how it would help her to separate her emotions from her trauma. She knew he would understand why she wanted to stop being afraid, she was just worried that he wouldn't really understand why she didn't want Severus to do it for her.
She didn't have anything to worry about. By the time she had finished explaining the process both were finished eating so Bill gave her a moment to collect herself after her lengthy explanation and offered to make a fresh pot of tea, of real tea, while she settled herself in the living room. When Bill rejoined her in the living room a few minutes later floating the tea tray in front of him Hermione was curled comfortably into one of the overstuffed armchairs in the room worrying her lip between her teeth nervously. She sat up a little straighter to accept a cup of tea from Bill before he settled himself onto the sofa.
Bill sipped his tea for a minute trying to think of the right words to tell her. "Hermione. I think I understand now. From the sounds of it you practically have to relive the whole thing from beginning to end in order for him to do what he needs to do, which won't be easy on you I know. And then of course he has to be in the memory with you, watching what happened, almost as if he were there and unable to stop it. I don't know how well I would handle that myself if I had to watch that. I can't imagine what it would do to me to watch Fleur be violated so brutally. Does he know the extent of the attack?" he asked, not knowing exactly how much of what had really happened in that Manor Severus would be aware of. Bill had helped to heal her and had lost his lunch when he saw the injuries she sustained and understood what they meant. He wasn't sure she could have told Severus the true extent of her injuries. He was frankly surprised she had told him about the attack at all. She never told Ron any of it, just let him believe it was a little 'Crucio' from Mad Bella and left it at that. He knew, and now Harry did generally speaking. But even Fleur who had been busy attending to Luna and Mr. Ollivander had never been informed of Hermione's more private injuries. Bill remembered how he had cried as he gingerly applied Murtlap to bite marks on her inner thighs and vaginal folds, knowing that she would need healing potions to care for the injuries he couldn't reach that were causing the light stream of blood to seep from between her legs. He had never before witnessed anything so gruesome and to see it on a girl who was as good as a member of his family, even if they hadn't yet gotten to know each other that well at that point, had nearly broken him. He couldn't imagine what it would do to a man to have to witness those injuries being inflicted, especially on the woman you loved.
Hermione could see the memory of her wounds flash over his features. They had never really talked about how he had tended to her most private injuries with such care. Neither of them really wanted to mention how intimately he'd had to touch her in order to apply the salve to the bite marks, but she had thanked him profusely both for healing her when she was unable to do so herself and for keeping it a secret for her. She had never told anyone what had happened and was thankful that at least the most disturbing and private of those injuries was now covered behind a layer of curly hair and had been hidden even from her healers after she had been left for dead the week before. Only a week, it seemed like a lifetime had passed some days. "No, I haven't given him the details. You are the only one who knows all of it. He knows Greyback raped me, and I am sure he knows that the monster liked to play with his food. I just, I don't know if he really knows what to expect, and I just… How can I let him see that? He won't want me when he sees what happened. I was so weak. I begged him to kill me. The things he did, if Severus sees that…he'll…he'll never want me after that. I'm disgusting," she cried. She hated herself for what she had let happen to her, what the monster had turned her into. She was horrifically scarred and no man would want her if he knew what had happened.
Bill got up from his spot on the sofa and went around the table to chair Hermione was attempting to sink into. He quickly had his arms around her and deftly lifted her and spun so that he was in the chair with her curled up on his lap. Bill held her close as he whispered soothingly to her. "Shhh. No, Hermione. You're wrong. I know it won't be easy, but if he loves you, as I suspect he does, this won't change that. I know that I wouldn't stop loving Fleur if she had been through the same. And don't you dare say you were weak. Anyone else in your position would have given him the information he wanted to stop that pain but you held onto your secrets through all of it. You are so strong Hermione. Snape will see that. If anything his respect for you will only grow. And you know, I saw Pomfrey healing up some wounds on Snape's back at Grimmauld once, and he isn't without his own scars. I know it isn't the same, but I would hope that he would see you and not the scars that you never asked for, especially if you can look past his. I mean, I don't think he's a real good lookin' bloke to begin with, but hey, you seem to like him so…" Bill tried his best to console her as she cried into his chest.
After a few minutes of letting her tears fall and soak into Bills shirt she sat up and looked into Bills kind face, and the scars that marred it and resembled hers so closely. "Oh Bill, I know your right. I didn't mean to say that being scarred makes you unlovable. I really didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I just don't know how I can even stand replaying the whole event again in my head let alone letting Severus be in it with me. What if it doesn't work? What if he can't do what he said and then things are even worse because it is all fresh in my mind?" she asked, trying not to cry again. She felt terrible that she had insulted Bill without meaning to.
Bill pulled her head down to rest against his chest and ran a hand lightly over her hair trying to calm her. 'Hey, none of that now. First off, I know you weren't insulting me. After all, not even these scars can take away from my handsome face. So don't you worry your pretty little head about that. As for worrying that he can't do what he has promised…Well, I highly doubt Snape would make a claim he can't live up to. And from what I hear he is about the best Ligilimens there is. If it has to do with mind magic I can't think of anyone out there who would be better suited. Trust him. I don't think he would have suggested it as a possibility if he wasn't absolutely sure of his affections for you, and his ability to affect real change in these memories. This doesn't sound like the sort of thing he would do for just anyone you know," Bill told her, hoping she would take his advice to heart.
Hermione thought about what he had said for a few minutes, happy at least that he hadn't taken her words about scars being ugly personally. She knew that he was right again; he had a horrid habit of doing that. But Severus wouldn't do this for anyone else really; it was only because she was special to him. None of that stopped her from being terrified though. She had tried for years to avoid anything that might remind her of the terrible Werewolf and what he had done to her that dreadful night. Now she was being asked to relive that again and she wasn't sure she was strong enough. "I'm so scared Bill. I just wish he could 'Obliviate' the whole thing. I don't want to remember it anymore."
"I know love, I know." Bill continued to hold Hermione on his lap as she quietly cried herself to sleep.
Bill must have nodded off as well because the two of them were curled up together on the large armchair, asleep in each other's arms when Severus walked in the door shortly after four that afternoon. Knowing very well that the two of them may as well have been siblings didn't do much to quell the jealousy Severus felt seeing the woman he loved so peaceful in the arms of another man. It was however the tear tracks that had dried on her face that had his trademark scowl plastered on his face when he shot a mild stinging hex at Bill to wake him up, hopefully without rousing the sleeping woman in his arms.
Bill rubbed the sleep from his eyes and smiled at the small woman curled on his lap deep asleep, hopefully free of the nightmares he knew plagued her. It was when he looked up and noticed the angrily scowling Potions Master that he realized not only what must have woken him from his nap but also how late it must have been.
Severus tried to suppress his ire as he addressed the eldest of the Weasley brood. "Explain," he bit out, his voice perhaps a touch more vitriolic for its harsh whisper than he had meant for it to be.
Bill tried his best to compose himself without waking Hermione. "I swear it's not what it looks like. That is, I was just trying to comfort her and she fell asleep, and then I guess I did too. I probably should be going anyhow." Bill made a move to try and extricate himself from beneath Hermione and sneak away, hopefully before Snape hexed him.
Severus held a hand up to stall any further movements, not wanting Hermione disturbed. "And pray tell, why was she so upset that she needed your consoling, Weasley?" he asked angrily.
Bill calmed visibly, realizing that Snape's anger seemed to be more about the fact that Hermione had been upset, and not an irrational assumption that they were having an affair. "She asked me to come and talk with her about this 'Obliviate' thing you want to try. She's scared that you won't want her if you know what happened," he told him honestly.
Severus considered this a moment. He certainly knew that she was hesitant, but he wasn't sure why she would be so afraid of what he would see that she would think it would cause him to leave her. He had seen her covered in blood and sick at the bottom of the stairs when he saved her life and thrust them violently and quickly onto their current pat. Surely it wouldn't be any worse than that. "I do not see why she would worry about such a thing. She knows I have seen her at her worst already, and I have been present, most unfortunately, for some of Greyback's torture sessions. I am prepared for what I will see in her mind," he explained.
Bill shook his head. "I don't know how much she told you about what happened that night, or if she told you that I was the one who healed her." Bill could see the comprehension cross Snape's features. He obviously didn't know everything then. "Yes, I healed her. I was better with healing than Fleur was, and she was the worst off by far. At first we all thought it was just Bellatrix's work, but when I scanned her for injuries it was apparent that there were some I wouldn't be able to heal when she was clothed. I apologized profusely before, during, and after I removed all of her clothing. I felt like I was violating her all over again. There was so much blood. Once I got it cleaned and saw the sources I threw up all over the floor. He bit her viciously despite it being far from the full moon. He took his time with her Snape. Make no mistake; he spent hours terrorizing her while they tried to get answers out of her. 'Crucio' was nothing compared to what he did to her. She is forever scarred from those wounds. What he did to her…I still don't know that she ever recovered fully from those wounds, it isn't really something we talk about. He bit her in places…I can't imagine the pain it must have been, and if it didn't heal properly, if I didn't do enough soon enough…trust me when I tell you that no matter what you may have seen you aren't prepared to see that, to see her like that," Bill told him solemnly.
Severus took in what Bill was telling him, he had only ever seen Greyback bite a witch's neck and shoulders as he drove mercilessly into them. Bill made it sound like he had done much worse to her, punished her for sport, and he hated to think what he could have done that would have the eldest Weasley so visibly shaken after so many years. He had lived through war and seen terrible things, and his job meant he was no stranger to gruesome injuries, Egyptian Wizards were especially known for their 'inventive' protections. He decided to ask the only thing he could think to ask. "Where?"
Bill steeled himself to answer the question he should have known was coming. "Look, it probably isn't my place to tell you, and I have already talked more of what happened to her than I ever should have, but if you are going to do this and succeed you are going to have to know what you are getting into." Severus nodded. "There's scarring on both of her thighs, it's some of the worst, he tore chunks from her with his teeth and then his claws as he held her legs apart so that he could…he…he bit her…" he tried to speak the words, but the injuries had been so disturbing it was hard to vocalize.
Severus eyes widened in terror as he realized what Bill was trying to tell him. "How bad is the damage?" he asked, not certain he truly wanted an answer.
Bill took a deep breath and prepared to break Hermione's deepest confidence. "He bit through her labia and he bit clean through her clitoris. It, it was so horrible. I can't even…How she lived through that…" Bill was obviously upset by what he had told Severus, and from the horrified look on Severus' face he was as well.
Without a word Severus crossed to the chair the two of them were occupying and scooped a sleeping Hermione into his arms and held her firm against his chest, breathing in the clean scent of her as if reminding himself that it was long past and she was whole and healthy now. "Thank you William. I will take care of her from here. She is lucky to have such a friend. I…thank you for telling me. I am glad to know now than to find out by seeing it happen for myself. If you can see yourself out I think I will take her upstairs and let her lie down a while longer. I will tell her you said goodbye," Severus said as calmly as he could manage.
Bill stood up and headed towards to front door, with an understanding nod in Severus' direction. Before Severus had reached the stairs however Bill called out to him. "You know Snape, I never thought I would be saying this, but she is lucky to have you too. You are going to have to help her through this. I think it's a great thing what you are doing for her. Just, give her time, if she needs it," he said and with a simple "Thank you, I will." from Severus he was gone.
Severus carried Hermione up the stairs as soon as the front door shut behind Bill. He laid her down gently and then toed off his boots and climbed in bed beside her, wanting to hold her close and let her warmth drive away the dark thoughts that were building within him. He should have known that it was worse than he had thought. Of course, being raped and 'Crucio'd' and sliced up and marked was more than horrible enough for any woman to go through, but what William had described to him was certainly more horrendous than anything he had ever witnessed or could ever imagine. He suddenly wished that Greyback was still alive so that he could have the honor of killing him slowly.
Severus was lost to his dark thoughts when Hermione began to stir. Hermione opened her eyes to see not Bill but Severus, and quickly came to realize that they were in bed. Severus was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice her open her eyes. Hermione could tell he was upset about something; his eyes seemed sad and had lost their sparkle, although she would guess that she was the only one who had really noticed the sparkle in his beautiful eyes to begin with. She reached out a hand and lightly cupped his cheek, bringing him out of his daze.
Severus locked eyes with Hermione and could see the concern shining brightly in their depths. She however wasn't the only one concerned. "Why did you never tell me?"
It didn't take Hermione very long to understand what he was upset about. "Bill told you then?" She didn't need an answer, it was written all over his features, in the deepened lines of his brow. "Of course he did, he knew I wouldn't. I…what can I say Severus. I have never expressly discussed the nature of my injuries with Bill, or anyone for that matter. He healed me to the best of his abilities, and I will forever be thankful for that. I would just as soon try to forget about those particular scars, and have done my best by avoiding letting anyone find out about them. I never wanted anyone to know, and now…now you want to go into that memory and watch as I receive them. It's so terrible, and I am so scared Severus," she told him honestly, her tears having long since run out.
Severus pulled her closer and draped one of his legs over hers, effectively locking her in place against his side. He brushed the hair from her face and looked deep into her eyes, willing her to see the truth in his. "Hermione, I know you are scared, but please believe me when I say that whatever I see, whatever happened in the past, it changes nothing. It can't change it. I…I love you Hermione," he said, punctuating his words with a soft kiss.
He loved her. Severus Snape loved her. She knew in that moment that they would get through it. Her eyes were shining with fresh tears, but happy ones this time. "Oh Severus, you have no idea how much I love you." She kissed him deeply to prove her point. "I love you so much Severus. This is so hard, and it terrifies me, but I trust you. I'm ready."
Severus smiled before pulling her in for another kiss. The two of them lay there in each other's arms for some time, simply kissing and show each other how much they were loved. When Severus and Hermione finally broke apart each of them was breathless.
Finally catching his breath and regaining his senses Severus kissed Hermione on the forehead and came up with a suggestion. "Why don't you take a bath and relax, you can use your bath crystals. Then we can have a nice dinner together and if you are feeling up to it we can make an attempt after dinner. If all goes well you can fall asleep tonight without that horrible night haunting you."
Hermione considered his suggestion briefly. "Alright Severus. A bath sounds lovely at the very least. I need to pump as well, so perhaps I can get that done before dinner as well. I'll meet you downstairs after I've soaked a bit. Thank you. You are such a wonderful man Severus Snape," she told him warmly.
Severus stole one last kiss before getting off the bed. "I know, but do try not to spread it around. I have a reputation to uphold after all," he said, smirking at her.
Hermione laughed at him. "Oh yes Severus, we can't have that now. Don't worry, I won't say I thing. I won't need to, I highly doubt your reputation is nearly what you think it is anymore anyhow, and certainly not with anyone that matters to me," she informed him honestly.
Severus pouted, which was a very odd expression on his face. "Oh you wound me madam. Surely I am still feared and loathed. I would hate to think that I might have to engage in small talk with customers who are disenchanted with my scowl," he joked.
"Oh just go make dinner please. I am getting hungry, or you could bathe and I could cook," she said jokingly.
Severus scoffed. "Good gods no woman. I'm going; I'm going. I will cook something that is actually edible. You go bathe. I will see you shortly." Severus leaned down and gave her a quick kiss and then turned to leave, heading down the stairs to make dinner.
Hermione watched Severus leave to make her dinner and knew that with him at her side she would make it through this and whatever else would come her way.
A/N: Ah, my faithful readers I do hope you have enjoyed this chapter. I now have a warning for you.
The next chapter as it is currently written is graphic. The next chapter is the much awaited 'Obliviate' and it isn't pretty. It is written the way I intended, but it is dark, as the first chapter was. I want to show how truly horrific Hermione's ordeal at Malfoy Manor was, and why it would cause such deep Post Traumatic Stress that Hermione would be unable to be with Ron on their wedding night, why little touches could send her off into a flashback. I want to show why she was so ashamed, and why she had so much difficulty moving past it.
I will include a notification of when it starts and stops for those of you who truly do not wish to read such violence, but I have decided to leave the story as I have written it for the time being. I know I have certainly read worse. I hope it doesn't put too many of you off this story, but know that things are picking up for Hermione from there on out.
I would love to hear from you. Reviews, even the really critical ones, are always welcome. Take care, and as always Thank you!
*lily*