A Dramatic Ridonculous Race

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

With Chris McLean rotting in prison, it seems like the era of Total Drama has come to an end. However, numerous contestants flock to other shows, and some find themselves in yet another race around the world, and they'll make some new friends along the way. Some of them may even find love.

3. French is an Eiffel Language

(French is an Eiffel Language)

OmnipotentUIJudgeOfCharacterOV: Yeah, I thought that Trent and Leshawna would turn out to be an interesting combination. Glad to see you agree with my opinion that Ridonculous Race was a pretty solid season. I don't know if it's as famous as Island, but in my opinion it's right up there in terms of quality. Yep, Leshawna basically said what I thought about Josee, and I'm glad to see that you agree. I wouldn't say that Bridgette and Carrie don't have any identical features, given that they're both blonde, and it mainly stemmed from the fact that the two of them share the same voice actor. I enjoyed the character interactions too.

SuperSonicHeroes: Yeah I couldn't really bring in too many changes just yet, keep in mind that the original took a few episodes to get into the real meat of the teams' story arcs. Yeah, I thought a little bit more strong language would flow nicely here, and it seems that you agree. I thought the whole thing with Trent was worth explaining, and yeah, him and Leshawna are more or less filling the role of the Police Cadets, albeit with a few changes here and there. Plus yeah, after spending three seasons with Heather, I doubt Leshawna would want to put up with anymore of that sort of crap. The explanation for why the Police Cadets weren't in the race was a little something that I thought would be nice to include, and to satisfy some of the people that were upset that I took them out. I haven't really given any though to giving an explanation for why the Daters weren't in the race, but I might at some point. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Jo and Brick, B and Dawn, I have to admit those do sound like some pretty interesting ideas for teams. Junior and Noah bonding through their shared love of sarcasm, that sounds like a pretty good idea actually. I might do that.

Guest: I don't want to spoil anything, so you'll just have to wait and see.

Omni: The explanation for why the Police Cadets weren't in the race was a little something that I thought would be nice to include, and to satisfy some of the people that were upset that I took them out. But yeah, now Trent and Leshawna will have to put up with the Ice Dancers.

Brocknedjar: Thanks, I'm glad to see you like it. I don't really intend for a lot of changes from canon since Ridonculous Race was a pretty solid season in my eyes, but I'll make enough changes so that it's its own thing instead of just copying and pasting from canon.

Darkknight55: Thanks, I'm glad to see you like it. The teams I chose to cut were ones that I didn't care for very much personally, though I can understand why some people aren't happy that I chose to cut the Police Cadets. I did consider getting rid of the LARPers, but if I did, then who else would get eliminated first? As for who I replaced the missing teams with, I figured the character dynamics would make things entertaining, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see how they pan out in the story.

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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race: After making a shopping trip for spices and riding on the backs of camels through the desert of Morocco, our 18 teams ere left building up quite the hearty appetite, and I lost mine on more than a few occasions. Seriously, I figured these people would be disgusting, but that's just wrong. At the end of the day, the winners were Devin and Carrie of the Best Friends, who took first place in the first leg of the race. In my book everyone else was a loser in one way or another, but we were only able to eliminate one team, and last week it had to be the LARPers. I'm not even sad about it, those wannabe wizards freaked me out. But that was then and this is now, and now it's for the next exciting installment of… the Ridonculous Race!"

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One intro later…

The day started off with Don at the Chill Zone in Morocco to start the episode "Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race. The Chill Zone from yesterday is the starting line for today, and teams will have to collect their tips and depart in the order in which they arrive. In this case, we're going to be starting with yesterday's winners Carrie and Devin, the intriguingly platonic Best Friends."

"Alright homie, first tip of the day." Devin was quick to pull the tip out from the Don Box, and his face lit up with joy "Alright this is awesome, it looks like you and I are going to Paris."

"Paris? No way!" Carrie let out a gasp and couldn't stop herself from cheering and throwing her arms around Devin "Come on let's go!"

"Way ahead of you, we even get to ride a moped."

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"Yep you heard them right, we're going to the City of Love itself, Partis, France, home to the famous Mona Lisa, tiny coffees and a bunch of other things that annoy the hell out of me like you would never believe, the prime example of which being mimes. Our 17 remaining teams will have to travel to the airport on one of the mopeds we've provided, and once they're in Paris they'll have to make their way to the Eiffel Tower and find their next tip."

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(Confessional- Best Friends)

"I'm so excited about this." Carrie couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face "Paris is literally the most romantic place in the world!"

"Yeah, and Shelly has always wanted me to take her there at some point." Devin a nonchalant grin, and subsequently failed to notice how downcast Carrie looked at the mention of Shelly.

"Yeah, going back with Shelly…"

"Hey this is still awesome homie, there's nobody I'd rather have with me right now." he paused, then looked over at the camera "You guys can edit that part out right? If Shelly heard me say that then she'd probably kill me." he was met with a nod, and he let out a sigh "Okay good. I've gotta admit though, I'm kind of jealous of a few other teams."

"Why's that?"

"Well a couple of them have guys that competed on Total Drama right? They got to go to Paris before, I bet it must have been awesome for them."

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(Confessional- Reality TV Pros)

"Did I enjoy our time in Paris back during Total Drama World Tour? No." Noah's response was flat and dry, like most of the things that usually came out of his mouth "How did that day start? It started with Izzy flying that deathtrap of a plane and almost killing all of us."

"Yeah, I definitely miss my Izzy." Owen let out a wistful sigh "Even when she's not here, you can still smell the crazy."

"But getting back to Paris, we almost got turned into yeti droppings and I got a hole burned through my crotch by a bunch of lasers."

"I got to get a taste of real art and I got to be a judge in a walkoff, and I hate walking so that's how you know I really enjoyed it."

"You were a judge in a tiebreaker, and you ate a priceless painting, and one of those has happened on more than one occasion."

"But it looked so tasty!"

"You say that about pretty much everything."

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Meanwhile, with the other teams…

"Alright white boy, let's see what we've got." Leshawna was the next one to grab a tip from the Don Box, with the rest of the teams eagerly lining up behind her "There's nothing Eiffel about this Parisian landmark."

"That means the Eiffel Tower, we're going to Paris, let's move!" Trent was quick to bolt towards the mopeds, with Leshawna following right behind him, leaving the Ice Dancers and the others to grab their tips.

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On the way to the airport…

"Almost there homie, so you mind losing your grip?" as they drove to the airpot, Devin glanced back to where Carrie was holding onto him tightly, only to be ignored "Hey homie, you're still with me in there right?"

"Out of the way lovebirds, Lightning's going for the win!" this was when Lightning and Cameron bolted past them on their moped "Yeah that's right, Lightning is the champ!"

"Not for long mon ami!" and then Jacques and Josee passed them, giving their creepy smiles aimed at the camera all the while "And smile for the camera!"

"It is rather peculiar how you both do that." Cameron glanced over at the two of them with a raised eyebrow "Is there any particular reason for it?"

"Actually there is, and it's an important one." Jacques shot a quick glance at Cameron "It comes as part of being sports heroes to our many fans out there. There's no way to know for certain when or if the cameras are going to be on us, so we have to smile all the time, and when I say all the time I mean all the time, even in our sleep."

"...That sounds incredibly painful."

"Oh you could never even fathom it."

"I did spend an entire season of Total Drama trapped on an island filled with toxic waste and various mutant creatures that could kill me in an instant. And I spent it being surrounded by people such as Lightning, Scott and Commander Zoey."

"Oh yes, I saw that season all the way through. Weren't you and your partner the two that got to the finals?"

"Yes, but then Chris brought out all of those-"

"Lightning don't need to be reminded of how Lightning got robbed!" Lightning suddenly sped up the moped and burst forward past the Ice Dancers.

"What in the world are you doing?!"

"Lightning don't need to hear about how he got robbed, and not with you talking to those creepy skater freaks that don't stop smiling! They creep Lightning the hell out!"

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As most of the teams collected their tips and mounted their mopeds for the ride to the airport, a few of them ended up getting hung up on a few less important details. Case and point…

"Come on, just put it on the back!" Jen and Tom of the Fashion Bloggers had taken the time to drag a large carpet onto the back of their moped before they took off "I'm just gonna say it, if the two of us had known that the fashion capital of the universe was going to be the next stop for the race, then we would never have spent so much on a hand-woven Moroccan carpet."

"You got that right girlfriend, we're going to Paris!" Tom let out a squeal as he hoisted Jen into a tight hug.

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Meanwhile, at the airport…

"First place is ours!" Josee and Jacques were the first ones to reach the airport and reach the front of the line in an overly dramatic fashion "We'll take 2 for Paree and I have to ask, do you offer any free upgrades for Olympians?"

"Let me see…" the ticket guy took a moment to check his computer "Ah yes, free upgrade for all gold medal peoples."

"...Economy is fine then." she lept the smile, but she started with an angry eye twitch.

"Come on skinny skater freak, that line better be moving!" this was when Leshawna, Trent and the rest of the teams reached the ticket line, only to be met with a loud honking noise "What the hell is that?"

"OH YEAH!" this was when Geoff suddenly burst past everyone into the airport on the back of his moped… and subsequently ended up crashing into the luggage.

"Geoff wait!" and then Bridgette came rushing in after him, panting heavily as she glanced over at the others "He crashed into the conveyer belt didn't he?" she was met with a few nods, to which she sighed and went over to pull him out "You got excited over the moped didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, it was awesome." Geoff gave a wide grin as he pulled himself to his feet "I mean don't you remember what happened last time when I tried to jump one over a pool, but then I ended up smashing into a guy's gazebo."

"You do realize that you completely ruined that wedding right?"

"Yeah I know, I feel really bad about it, but on the plus side, free cake!"

"...Sometimes you're incredibly lucky I love you so much." she patted him on the shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

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Meanwhile, with the other teams…

"I'll get my hands off your face when you get your face off my hands!" the Stepbrothers continued with their typical bickering as they rode the moped along the path to the airport, with other teams still following not far behind them.

Jen and Tom however, they found themselves lagging behind "This isn't good, the carpet is only slowing us down! You have to ditch it!"

"You want us to just get rid of it?" Tom let out a gasp "But-"

"I know I know, but don't forget that we're going to Paris. I think the gains totally outweigh the losses right now, so do it!"

"...You're free now you majestic piece of decoration, now fly!" and so he threw it away, but they failed to notice the carpet land on Dwayne and Junior, causing them to crash, but they did notice how Laurie and Miles were pedaling their moped "Wait, what the heck are they doing?"

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(Confessional)

"As always, we're taking part in this race in our own way." Laurie and Miles shared a look "The two of us walked our camel through the desert yesterday instead of riding it, in order to make sure that he stayed hydrated, and today the two of us are pedaling our moped so that we don't have to use any fuel. I just wish there was a way we could give this moped to our camel, right?" this idea was met with silence.

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Meanwhile, at the airport…

"Okay we got the ticket, now let's go!" Tom and Jen, with ticket in hand, made their way towards their flight, only to stop when they saw Dwayne and Junior making their way in covered in bruises and scratches "Oh god, what the heck happened to you guys?"

"It was the strangest thing, we got hit by a carpet of all things." Dwayne told them "I don't know where it came from, but the thing could've killed us!"

"Uh…" Tom and Jen shared a look, and then they both started laughing nervously, which ended up prompting Dwayne and Junior to back away in slight fear.

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One scene transition later…

"Now that all of the teams have booked their flights to Paris, nine of them ware waiting with some visible anxiety to board the second flight, which isn't scheduled to take off for another hour and a half, and that's if there aren't any delays. It's for this season that we decided to cover it with a bunch of giant sad face stickers, which we found to be hilarious. But the first 8 teams, those being the Best Friends, Brains & Brawn, the Performers, Reality TV Pros, Tennis Rivals, the Surfers, the Geniuses and the Ice Dancers, are already bound for Paris on the first flight. Once that flight lands in Paris, the race for first place will be on."

Sure enough, once the first flight landed, all 8 teams bolted from the airport and began picking up any taxis they could find to take them to where they were headed "Eiffel Tower please, pedal to the medal!"

And just like that, the race for first place was on.

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One transition later, at the Eiffel Tower…

"Gold medal, finally getting what we deserve-" Josee's self-indulgant cheers were cut short when she and Jacques arrived at the Eiffel Tower ahead of all the other teams, only to be met with one of the other taxis passing right next to them and barely avoiding hitting them "What the (bleep) you crazy (bleep), were you trying to take our heads off?!"

"If I had to guess then I'd say yeah, and it wouldn't be the first time she's tried something like that either." Trent breathed a sigh as he pulled himself out of the taxi, earning a glare form Leshawna in the process "Don't look at me like it's not true, I saw you try to run over Heather with an ATV back on Wawanakwa."

"And I'd do it again if that skinny little rich girl called me a big butted, loud mouthed, mall shopping homegirl, the same for anyone who'd call me that." on that note, Leshawna promptly grabbed a tip from the Don Box "Looks like we're dealing with another botch or watch, so that's gonna be only one of us."

"You got that right, as I'm about to explain." sure enough, Don was standing a short distance away from the other teams with a number of sketchbooks and a French local "In this botch or watch challenge, whichever member of each team didn't drink the stew in Morocco will be required to draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artist approves their drawing and gives them the thumbs up, they'll receive their next tip. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be waiting at the Chill Zone for the rest of you to arrive, but you'll have a ways to go before then, so I wish all of you the best of luck." and on that note, he went on his way.

"...How about it white boy, you up for it?"

"I'm gonna have to be." Trent gave a shrug "Let's just hope that my time with Gwen let some of her artistic skills rub off on me a little bit."

"Good enough for me, now let's move." and so they got to work, Leshawna posing for the picture and Trent being the one to draw it on a sketchpad, with most of the other teams (Best Friends, Brains & Brawn, Reality TV Pros, Geniuses and Surfers) arriving and getting to work not long after.

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"This just in, we received word that the second flight has finally landed in Paris, and as the nine remaining teams that were on that flight head to the Eiffel Tower, the teams from the first flight that had already arrived are straining to finish the first challenge, and I do mean straining."

"Um…" Cameron looked up from her sketchbook to see Lightning straining as he flexed in front of him for the caricature "As much as I would like to commend you for the enthusiasm, I believe this is what people refer to as overkill."

"There ain't no overkill with lightning, not the right amount of kill means that Lightning's gotta go even further!" Lightning started flexing his muscles even harder, to the point where his veins were starting to bulge "It hurts bad… but Lightning ain't giving up… he ain't gonna lose again… Not to anyone…"

"Done!" Cameron held up his sketchbook, revealing a well done portrait of Lightning, which earned him a thumbs up from the artiste and a travel tip "Merci Monsieur-"

"Merci this, first place is gonna be mine!" Lightning grabbed Cameron by the hood, hoisted him onto his back, and promptly took off running.

"Yeah, there we go babe!" Geoff lit up when he saw Bridgette's drawing of him, and once they received their tip they kissed each other for a brief moment, before the two of them took off after the others.

"Aw, they're as sweet as ever." Owen (with teddy bear in hand) gave a smile as he watched Geoff and Bridgette show their affection to each other, then glanced over to where Noah was at work with his sketchbook "You know little buddy, I think that the way the two of them support each other is beautiful. I think we should hug too!"

"No." was all Noah said without bothering to look up from his sketchbook.

"Come on, please?"

"I said no."

"What about a high five-"

"Less talking, more facing forward!"

"Yeah you do that, later skinny white boys!" Leshawna and Trent bolted passed them and handed their sketchbook to the artiste, receiving a thumbs up and a travel tip, which they started reading as they rushed after the others "Go down down down, and find the cheese so round, where your next tip is found. What the hell does that mean?"

"I think it means we're supposed to follow the others." Trent jerked a thumb at where the Surfers and Brains & Brawn were running ahead of them.

"Good enough for me white boy, let's move!"

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"The location that the tip was referring to was the Catacombs, which was used by Perisians in ancient times to bury the seemingly endless number of victims of the plague. For this part of the challenge, each team has to use their noses to navigate the mze of tunnels in order to find the correct exit, as well as their next travel tip that's hidden among a good number of wheels made of roquefort cheese."

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Meanwhile, with the Fashion Bloggers…

"So let me see if I've got this." Tom shared a look with Jen as their taxi slowly came to a stop in the middle of the street "The two of us just happen to get a flat tire as we're entering luxury boutique heaven during a midnight madness event? Does this mean what I think it means?"

"I think it means the universe wants us to go shopping!" Jen had stars in her eyes "It has to be a sign of destiny!"

"Either that or it's the ultimate test of our wills."

"We are already running behind the rest of the teams, and as much as I'd love to, it's not like we can just stop, drop and shop like there's no tomorrow. If we come in last then there's a good chance that we're going to get sent home, and the longer we get to stay on this show, the more we get the chance to promote our blog, Now Trenting with Tom and Jen."

"Are you saying that to me or to the camera?"

"Both."

"Fair enough." there was a brief pause "But with that being said, it's probably going to take at least a few minutes for him to change that tire."

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Meanwhile, at the Eiffel Tower…

"What the heck do you mean no? She got an A in art last semester!" Devin was quick to protest the artiste rejecting their sketch, only to take a look at it himself and see that it was basically presenting him like something out of a fairy tale "Oh I get what the problem is with it, it's too realistic." he failed to notice Carrie blushing behind his back.

Kitty and Emma on the other hand, they were working on creating their caricature, and the former was taking the chance to try and engage in some small talk "So how have things been, have you started seeing anyone new at university?"

"Oh yeah, the same guy since the start of the semester." Emma told her dryly without looking up from the book she was reading "He goes by the name of international and comparative antitrust law curriculum."

"Uh huh. You know I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut."

"Uh huh." she didn't look up from the book.

"...Well it's about as fun talking with you as always."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. I mean really, I know you've always been the serious one, but ever since Jake broke up with you, which was two years ago, you've been super-" she was promptly cut off by Emma slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Fine, I've been super fine. And I don't need a boyfriend either, what I need is a law degree and for my little sister to focus on the game." she retracted the hand.

"...And a boy friend."

"(Bleep)!"

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"As many teams continue working on and/or finishing their sketches, numerous teams from the second flight are now arriving at the Eiffel tower and starting to work on their own sketches, but it seems that some of them have their own… struggles to overcome."

"Come on Mickey you can do it, show that pencil who's boss!" Jay tried to push Mickey to reach out and grab a pencil, only to be met with hesitation "It's two of us and just one of it, you're a lot stronger than that thing, so it's time to show it!"

"Problem with pencils I take it?" Noah shot him a raised eyebrow from where he was putting the finishing touchings on his caricature.

"It was a Tuesday morning a few years ago. Mickey's pencil case broke, and pencils pretty much went everywhere. He slipped on one of them and ended up falling down the stairs, and what made it worse was that he kept landing on pencils the whole way down. He's been afraid of pencils ever since because of it.

"...Wow. Just… wow." without uttering anything else, Noah handed is caricature to the artiste, which happened to be a picture of Owen eating the Eiffel Tower, leading to the two of them laughing over it as he received a thumbs up, along with the travel tip.

"Yeah, yeah it's pretty funny, so can I see it?" asked Owen, only to be met with Noah dragging him away "Wait hold on a second, I wanna see the picture!"

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Meanwhile, with the last place team…

"What the-?!" Gerry and Pete woke with a start as their cab screeched to a halt, courtesy of some blockage in the road ahead of them in the form of a goat "What happened, did we win, are we there yet?"

"You old men never told me where to go." the taxi driver pointed out.

"Oh. Right, I guess we conked out when- Hey!"

"Yeah man, we're older but that doesn't mean we're old." Pete told him.

"The two of us have the same energy as all the other teams, from about 5 am to 4 pm at least."

"Yeah, after that we tend to get a little bit groggy."

"What the hell do you mean groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003."

"Oh really, well I've got a moon for you. Just let me turn around and pull down my pants, and then you'll get a good view of it." and the two of them shared a laugh "Oh yeah right, take us to the Eiffel Tower! Andele! Andele! Rapido!" and so the taxi sped off.

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Meanwhile, in the catacombs…

"Aw man, you could totally make a haunted house out of this place." Geoff cringed slightly as he looked around the inside of the catacombs, only to stop when he noticed Bridgette looking rather shaken "You okay babe?"

"What?" Bridgette snapped out of her stupor and her gaze snapped towards him "Oh yeah sorry, I guess I just… kind of spaced out for a minute."

"Yeah I noticed, what's wrong?"

"It's just that… being down here got me a little bit jumpy is all, I mean you know how I am with being alone in the woods, and this kind of reminds me of that."

"Yeah, I remember how you came running out of the woods screaming after Cody scared the crap out of you." Geoff let out a chuckle, but then he suddenly pulled her into a tight hug "But listen babe, you don't have to worry. No matter what happens, whether it's a real garbage monster or some creepy plague in these skulls, I swear I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I love you babe, no matter what."

"Geoff… I love you too." Bridgette gave him a small smile as she pecked him on the lips, then freed herself from his embrace "Now come on, the two of us have a race to win, so let's get to it already."

"Way ahead of you babe!" and so the two of them took off running deeper into the catacombs.

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Meanwhile, at the Eiffel Tower…

Work on the caricatures continued for each team as Emma glanced up at Kitty "It's going to need to have at least 4 exaggerations in order for it to qualify as a caricature."

"What are you kidding?" Kitty let out a snort "I've got way more than that."

"Does it make me look unrealistically unflattering?"

"That depends, do you count you having spiky teeth and a storm cloud over your head as making you look unflattering?" she was met with a scowl "I'll take that as a yes."

On another end, Ennui glanced over at Crimson as he prepared his own drawing "Do you want to look alive for this?"

And at the end of it, Taylor was getting ready to draw Kelly, and she rolled her eyes "Well thank god I'm the one that has to draw you for this thing. You know how good of an artist I am, for sure I'm the best in my class, and probably on the whole planet too."

"You know I'm actually not bad myself." Kelly told her "I actually went to art school myself for about two years, but then I quit so I could have you."

"Oh for god's sake mom, you know it doesn't always have to be about you."

"Uh… okay then sweetie."

It was at this moment that Jen and Tom showed up at the Eiffel Tower, bags in hand "I'm gonna be honest with you, getting that flat tire might have been the best thing that ever happened to the two of us."

"I understand exactly what you mean, I don't think I've ever shopped so fast in another language in my life." Tom told her.

"It was totally worth it though, I mean the fact that we were able to find rock-studded leather leggings here makes it totally worth it. Trying to find something like that in North America is about as likely as Teen Titans Go not being a total burning dumpster fire."

"Amen to that sister."

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Meanwhile, with some of the other teams…

"Come on, hurry!" once they got the thumbs up from the artiste, some of the teams (specifically the Best Friends, Father & Son and Adversity Twins) took their travel tips and made a beeline for the passageway leading to the catacombs, though some of them were a little bit hesitant to actually go in.

"Aw man, I hope I don't get the plague again." Jay muttered with Mickey nodding silently in agreement, though they still went into the passage regardless, just as the Vegans, the Rockers and the Tennis Rivals arrived in their taxis.

"Come on, let's go!" Gerry and Pete were quick to make a beeline for the sketchbooks, though they were lagging slightly behind the others "I've gotta admit, it does feel pretty good to be back on TV, especially seeing how all of our sponsorship deals dried up a few years ago."

"Get real man, tried 30 years ago!" Pete let out a snort.

"Tell me about it. The last time you did a commercial, the internet didn't exist."

"And neither did the hair on your ears!" and so the two of them burst out laughing as they made the preparations for the caricature.

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Meanwhile, in the catacombs (with the Performers)…

"Wait wait stop, hold on a second." Trent screeched to a halt, prompting Leshawna to do the same, and he suddenly started sniffing around the area.

"Okay, what the hell are you doing?" Leshawna shot him a raised eyebrow.

"I ended up training my nose so that I can build immunity to noxious fumes, and recognize certain scents when I'm close enough."

"When the hell did you learn how to do that?"

"When I ended up sharing a cabin and a trailer with someone like Owen. In that case, you either have to learn to adapt to it or pray that your death is swift and relatively painless."

"...Okay yeah, works for me."

"That's what I thought, now let's get going before the other teams show up." and so the two of them took off into one of the tunnels, with Trent leading them onwards in pursuit of the wheels of cheese.

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"As the Parisian catacombs extend a semi-warm welcome to the teams that have already dared to enter its depths, most of the others are still drawing the first challenge to its conclusion. Ha, you see what I did there? You know, because it's drawing? I'll shut up now."

"Done!" the Fashion Bloggers finished their caricature and went over to the the stamp of approval from the artiste, receiving a thumbs up and a travel tip, which prompted them to take off towards the passage into the catacombs, with the Rockers, the Sisters, the Stepbrothers and the Goths all following not long after.

"Here you go." Taylor showed the artiste her drawing of Kelly, causing him to recoil in terror, but she recieved a thumbs up and a travel tip regardless.

Kelly on the other hand took the sketchbook for herself "You mind if I keep this so I can give it to my surgeon?"

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Meanwhile, in the catacombs (with the Reality TV Pros)…

"Here cheese, here cheesy chese!" by this point, Owen and Noah had entered into the catacombs themselves, and were now searching for the various wheels of cheese "Come on trusty sniffer, don't let me down now."

"Yeah, the same sniffer that led us to that all you can eat buffet in the middle of a stampede of pissed off squirrels." Noah commented dryly.

"It was all you can eat, how was I supposed to resist that?"

"In any case, if we had any kind of lead over the other teams then we've lost it by now." it was then that he noticed a skull lying on the ground "Wait a second, I've seen that skull before. Aw damn, we've been going in circles!"

"We're not the only ones either, the same could be said for my stomach." and then he let out a loud burp "Oh man, you see any restroom signs around here?" and then he rushed off in order to search for a restroom.

"...Yep, I should've expected this. Crapbaskets." Noah let out a sigh of resignation, and then he turned his attention towards a nearby camera "Owen hasn't exactly gone since he ate that crazy stew during the challenge in Morocco yesterday. We knew that this moment was going to come, it's just that there was no way of predicting when. Now the only thing we can do is pray that he's able to find a bathroom in time, and if he can't… then may our inevitable deaths turn out to be swift and relatively painless."

"Hey check it out, I think I found it!"

"Oh thank the great God above."

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Meanwhile, with the power couple…

"Come on, maybe it's this one." at the same time, Geoff and Bridgette were searching through another area of the catacombs, only to run into another problem "Great, that's at least the third dead end we've run into down here."

"Easy sweetie, don't let it get you too upset or anything." Bridgette gently patted Geoff on the cheek to reassure him "We just have to keep looking, and we're bound to find it sooner or later right?"

"Yeah I know, I mean if we find all of the dead ends, then the only one left has to be the right one and then we're golden."

"...You can be so wholesome."

"I just like to think of myself as the kind of guy that sees a glass as half full, but seeing how we've got the two of us here, I figured I'd just pour my glass into yours and then boom, we've got one full glass for the two of us. Science can suck on that one."

"...Sometimes you're lucky you're cute and sweet." she patted him on the cheek again, and then the two of them went on their way in search of the exit.

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Meanwhile, with the straggler teams…

"Done!" Pete and Gerry handed in their caricature and received their tip, along with the Vegans, and they took off for the catacombs while trailing not far behind them "Okay so here's what I'm thinking, we follow those freaky Veggie Heads until they find the cheese, then rocket past them and win the whole things."

"Ha, veggie heads." Gerry couldn't stop himself from chuckling, which led to the two of them just bursting out laughing.

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Meanwhile, in the catacombs…

"Okay, maybe it's this one." Mickey and Jay were searching through the catacombs for the exit with the wheels of cheese, only to end up screaming in terror at the sight of two sets of glowing eyes, which turned out to be Ennui and Crimson "You scared us! I mean, it's a little bit scary down here with all of the skulls and the dark."

"Really? I can't remember the last time I've felt so happy." Ennui shared a look with Crimson "It feels like this place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids."

"...You really think so?"

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Meanwhile, with the Performers…

"Okay, I'm smelling what I think is roquefort cheese, aged to about 3 years or so, and I think I can hear running water this way!" with his powerful sense of smell guiding him, Trent led Leshawna to the exit from the catacombs, where they found the various wheels of cheese waiting for them "Oh yeah, now that's definitely a lot more like it."

"You got that right white boy, first place here we come." Leshawna's grin only grew wider when she saw Josee and Jacques show up behind them "Hate to break it to you whities, but it looks like the two of you are gonna have to settle for silver."

"Well then get a load of this big, loud and proud!" Josee maintained her creepy smile as she kicked several wheels of cheese into the river below "I hate silver, and both it and you can suck on the flat end of my (bleep)!"

"Easy Josee, keep in mind that we're on television." Jacques then took the chance to read the post nearby with the instructions "It says that we have to take a wheel of cheese and sail away to where they keep the Mona Lisa on display."

"Mona Lisa huh?" Trent shared a look with Leshawna "Sounds to me like we're gonna be heading for the Louvre."

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"Yep, you heard Trent right, the tip referred to the Louvre, which happens to be home to many paintings that I was asked to stop touching. It also serves as the location for the Chill Zone for this leg of the race. As is to be the status quo, the last team that arrives on the Carpet of Completion with their wheel of cheese in their possession, may be cut from the competition entirely. But with that being said, before any of that can actually come into play, the race to come in first is about to kick into high gear."

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Back with the teams in the lead…

"Come Jacques, the long awaited gold is about to be ours!" Josee leapt into the air and promptly landed on Jacques waiting hands as he knelt down on the cheese float, and they started riding it down the river as she shot a dirty look at the Performers "See you at the finish line losers, the two of you stink worse than this cheese float!"

"Yeah well, I think the two of you forgot a little something!" Trent held up a set of oars for them to see as he dealt Leshawna a swift fist bump.

"...Jacques, I thought you were going to get the oars!" she still held the creepy smile, though her anger was beginning to show through.

"What's the French way of telling a skinny white chick to suck it?" Leshawna and Trent promptly passed them on their own cheese float, the former flipping off the Ice Dancers as they did so.

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Meanwhile, in the catacombs…

"Well this smells worse than you on a good day." Gerry shuddered as he and Pete continued with their plan of following the Vegans through the catacombs, a green oder filling the air that didn't go unnoticed "Let me tell you now, if this is what all French people smell like, then I'm officially lactose intolerant."

"Yeah, well that's nothing." Pete let out a snort "I'm officially you intolerant."

"That goes both ways." and so the two of them started laughing "Seriously though, where the hell is that smell coming from?"

"I think it's coming from in here." Laurie and Miles opened the door to reveal a sight so terrifying that it made the four of them run away screaming in terror.

As it turns out, it was Owen sitting on a toilet, newspaper in hand "Man, that Moroccan stew really knows how to rip through a guy." and then he flushed it, releasing a cloud of noxious fumes that made it all the way up to the surface, which also caused a mime to pass out "Oh yeah, that feels so much better."

"For you maybe, but not for anyone that has a sense of smell." Noah commented dryly from where he was standing, wearing a gas mask "And what's really horrifying is the fact that that was only a 6.2 on what I refer to as the Owen stinkscale."

"You have a scale for that?"

"Oh yeah, Cody and I figured it out after spending 2 seasons with you on Total Drama. Sushi farts are a 1, onion soup is a 5, and spicy burrito farts go all the way to 12. Those things are potent enough to peel the varnish off a locker." he shuddered at the thought "That was not a good day for me or anyone in a 5-mile radius."

"Yeah, that one hurt a little bit."

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Meanwhile, in another part of the catacombs (with the Fashion Bloggers)…

"Ew, ew, ew…" Tom and Jen continued making their way made their way through the catacombs, shopping bags in hand, though they seemed rather tense "Okay, it is like so creepy in here, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Hey Tom, check this out." Jen directed his attention to where she was playing with a skeleton like it was a puppet "I've got a bone to pick with you."

"Ha, nice one. I still feel like we're being watched though."

"We're on reality TV, we're always being watched."

"...Oh yeah." unfortunately for them, it was then that they noticed a monstrous-looking shadow looming towards them, which prompted them to run away screaming, casing Tom to drop one of his bags. And then he went back for it and ran away again.

What neither of them realized was that it was just the shadowy figure of a rat, which started laughing at the two of them.

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Meanwhile, with the frontrunner teams (starting with the Best Friends)…

"Okay homie I've got you, so go ahead." Devin (now standing on the cheese float he was using as a raft) caught Carrie as she jumped and landed in his arms bridal style "Milady."

"Oh, well aren't you just…" Carrie let herself down and started blushing, but she quickly snapped herself out of it "Come on, we gotta get going."

"Way ahead of you homie." and so the two of them started paddling along the river, with several other teams (Mother & Daughter, Brains & Brawn, the Goths and the Adversity Twins) all close behind them.

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Meanwhile, with the frontrunners…

"Come on, we can't be that far from the Chill Zone now." Leshawna and Trent continued paddling their cheese wheel along the river, only for the former to glance behind them and notice something that took her by surprise "Oh what the (bleep)?!"

"What's the matter?" Trent glanced back to see the Ice Dancers kicking their float to move forward and catching up to them with ease "And apparently they can do that, I guess something like that really shouldn't surprise me after all the stuff I've seen on Total Drama."

"...Yeah okay, fair enough, but it still pisses me off."

"Well you should know as performers, you have to be flexible and willing to adapt and overcome any circumstances." Jacques glanced over at them as they caught up "The two of us have been in far more dire situations than this. There was this one time that I got rabies from a squirrel, but that didn't stop us. I skated dressed as a saint bernard so that all of the foam coming out of my mouth made sense."

"Adapting, it's what champions do, and that's what we're about to become, so get the hell out of our way!" Josee let out a snarl despite her creepy smile as she and Jacques overtook the Performers and took the lead.

"...Wow." Trent shared a quick glance with Leshawna "Okay you were right, the two of them are getting the creepier by the minute. Well, she is anyway."

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"Most of the teams have reached the water by this point, but for the teams that have yet to find their way out of the catacombs, the race to avoid coming in last is about to begin."

"Well it's official, this was one of the worst ideas we've had since we agreed to do the commercials for adult diapers." Gerry shared a look with Pete, and the two of them shuddered "Seriously though, what the hell were we thinking?"

"I figured vegans would be able to sniff out dairy in a second." Pete gave a shrug "If the two of us go home now then we'll be lucky to land a deal for tube socks, and I hate tube socks! You never know where the hell you're supposed to stick your heel!"

"Well, there goes the tube sock sponsorship." and then the two of them laughed.

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Meanwhile, with the Reality TV Pros…

"There's the tip, and we've still got plenty of cheese wheels left." Noah and Owen rushed out of the catacombs and into the open night air once they found the cheese wheels, and the former was quick to read "Talking about the Mona Lisa, looks like we're going to the Louvre. Great, it's like Karma seems to know how much I wanted to go back to the place where I got a hole burned right through my crotch with a laser."

"Alright, maybe I'll get to watch another walkoff!" Owen's face lit up, especially when he started to eye the numerous wheels of cheese.

"Either way, it means that the two of us are still in this." Noah glanced back at Owen "Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and grab the oars, so you take the wheels and- Oh come on!"

As it turns out, Owen had already started eating one of the cheese wheels "What, I thought cheese was supposed to be good for you."

"Yeah, but us coming in last because my partner is the physical embodiment of being a human trash compactor isn't, now stop eating and put that thing in the water!"

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Meanwhile, with the frontrunner teams…

"There's the Louvre, I can see it from here!" as they reached the end of the river, Josee and Jacques both leapt off the raft and onto dry land, where they started waving to the fans that were never really there "Thank you, we love all of you, merci!"

"And merci to you skinny white fools for standing around waving like a bunch of idiots and giving us the chance to snag the win!" unfortunately for them, Leshawna and Trent took the chance to bolt past them with their cheese wheel in hand along the path to the Louvre.

Don was quick to greet both teams when they finally arrived at the Chill Zone "Nicely done to the both of you Leshanwa and Trent, you're the first team to arrive, and that means the Ice Dancers are going to have to settle for silver."

"Yeah, now that's how we roll!" Leshawna caught Trent in a quick high five, then shot a smirk over at Josee and Jacques "What, you don't hear victory music? Probably because you two didn't win. I told you before that you were playing with the wrong sister!" she was met with an angry eye twitch.

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"If Leshawna's taunting and Josee's inevitable tantrum are any indication, the race for first place has finally come to an end, and now the race to not come in last has officially begun."

"Well on one hand, the others aren't that far ahead." Noah glanced forward to see teams like the Best Friends not far ahead of them, but then glanced down to where Owen was taking numerous bites out of their cheese wheel "On the other hand, you keep eating our raft so cut it the hell out already dude!"

"Oh sorry little buddy, I'll stop." and yet Owen still tore off another piece of the wheel and stuffed it into his mouth "Last one." and then another one "Okay, last one for real I swear."

"Well it's official, we're (bleep). At this rate I'm gonna have to resort to riding you, not like it would be the first time either."

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Meanwhile, in the middle of the pack…

"These losers think they got what it takes to win? Lightning about to show them why he's the best, because now it's time for the Lightning to strike!" in a moment of bravado and overconifdence getting the better of him, Lightning threw his paddle into the air, only to fail to catch it, leaving it to float away "Uh… hey smart guy, toss Lightning your paddle he can double-time it!"

"Alright, if you're certain you can make up the lost time." Cameron feebly tossed his paddle over to Lightning, only for him to miss it and for it to float away like the other one.

"...Don't say anything about that smart guy, or Lightning's gonna kick you off this paddle and let you float home."

"I wasn't going to say- Wait a minute, that's it!" Cameron's face lit up as the realization dawned on him "I have an idea!"

"About what?"

"What you said about kicking. I saw earlier that the Ice Dancers were swimming behind their wheel of cheese and kicking it, so maybe you can do that for ours!"

"Then quit talking about it, it's time for the Lightning to strike!" so Lightning promptly dove into the water behind their cheese wheel, grabbed hold of it and started pushing it forward as he kicked furiously.

"Come on chubby buddy, suck in that gut and let me paddle!" with their cheese wheel now being digested in Owen's gut, Noah had taken to using him as a raft as he paddled down the river after the other teams.

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Meanwhile, with the Fashion Bloggers…

"Okay, I've got this one!" now floating on the cheese wheel, Tom was balancing the numerous amount of shopping bags, including one of his foot "And he sticks the landing."

"Just be careful, we can't let those get wet!" Jen called down to him from her place on the street above him "You know how delicate stuff like that can be."

"Don't worry, I know how to keep stuff like this balanced."

"...I'll do it. I'll do it for the clothing." she was met with a gasp from Tom.

"You mean you're serious? But you never let anyone except for your beautician wash your hair, do you know how big of a sacrifice this is?"

"Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good." on that note, Jen promptly dove into the river, and when she rose up she had a frog on her head, which prompted her to start screaming in terror as she swam down the river.

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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…

One by one the other teams began to arrive at the Chill Zone, with Don counting them off as they reached the carpet, starting with Brains & Brawn "Third place!"

"Yeah, now that's a sexy beast for ya!" Lightning started kissing his biceps, only to get shoved off the Carpet of Completion by Don as the Surfers arrived with their chees wheel.

"Fourth place!"

After them came the Best Friends.

"Fifth place."

Father & Son.

"Sixth place."

The Stepbrothers.

"Seventh place."

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Meanwhile, with the straggler teams…

"Later suckers!" Pete and Gerry leapt down onto their cheese wheel in front of the Vegans and started paddling down the river towards the Louvre "See it's times like this I have to remind myself that age is all in your mind."

"And in your joints." Gerry gave a grin.

"And it has a little bit to do with the year you were born." and so the two of them laughed as they continued on their way. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…

"And here come some more teams." Don continued counting off the teams as they arrived at the Chill Zone, continuing with the Fashion Bloggers "You're in eight place, then ninth place goes to the Geniuses, followed by the sisters in tenth, and if it isn't Noah and his Ark." he held out a hand to stop Noah and Owen "I'm afraid I'll have to give the two of you a 20-penalty."

"What? Why?" asked Owen.

"Because the challenge said that you were supposed to sail the cheese down the river, not ride on your overweight partner."

"But it's inside me, I am cheese!"

"That I'm sure you are big guy, now step aside and hope that you guys aren't the last to place, but given which teams are left, the chances are about 50/50."

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"With one of the teams waiting for their penalty to end, the last four teams are battling it out as they make their way towards the Carpet of Completion."

"To think we might actually come in last… we need to step up our game." Laurie shared a look with Miles, and the two of them shared a nod as they suddenly picked up the pace, passing most of the other teams and taking them by surprise."

"You've gotta be freaking me!" Gerry shared a look with Pete "How is that possible? The two of us are supposed to be the athletes, they eat bird seed and dust!"

"I'm pretty sure I can see them doing that right now.

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More teams continued arriving at the Chill Zone, and Don counted them off, starting with Mother & Daughter "11th place!"

The Adversity Twins.

"12th place."

The Goths.

"13th place, and it looks like someone's got the cheese sweats." Don glanced over to where the Reality TV Pros, or Owen at least, were sweating nervously, and it didn't help when he counted off the next few teams "Fourtheenth place goes to the Vegans, and the Rockers will take fifteenth place. That leaves only the Reality TV Pros and the Tennis Rivals."

"And what makes it worse, here comes the Tennis Rivals!" Owen glanced over to see where the Tennis Rivals were slowly making their way towards the Chill Zone "Oh man, I'm gonna feel so bad if my love of cheese is what gets us sent home. And you know what makes it worse? I feel like I could really go for some cheese right now!" and then he started crying "I have no sense of self control, I swear I'm like a dog!"

"That's a bad partner, bad, bad!" to add insult to injury, Noah started swatting Owen with a rolled up newspaper, causing him to whine like a dog.

"Come on, come on…" true to Owen's word, Gerry and Pete were struggling their way long the path towards the Chill Zone while carrying their cheese wheel, going at a pace slower than a snail, which was proven by a snail passing by them and overtaking them "Okay, this definitely isn't looking good. I feel like I need a nap."

"Well you already sleep about 8 hours a day." Pete pointed out.

"And at least 10 at night!" the two of them shared a laugh as they kept inching closer to the carpet, but a loud buzzer sounded right before they could reach it.

"Reality TV Pros, your penalty has expired!" Don made the call, prompting both them and the Tennis Rivals to launch themselves onto the carpet, leaving them in a dog pile.

"What the… We're all on the carpet! It's a tie, we all get to stay!"

"Unfortunatley no." Don made his way over to them "I'm afraid the Tennis Rivals are going to be sent home."

"What? Why?" asked Pete.

"Well there are two reasons mainly, the first being that Gerry's foot didn't make it completely onto the carpet."

"What?!" Gerry bolted to his feet and rounded on Don "You've gotta be kidding me, that foot was totally in the line!"

"Even if it was, there's also the second reason to consider. You two were supposed to take the wheel of cheese onto the Carpet of Completion with you, but you left it behind."

"...Aw crapbaskets."

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Now for the outro of the losing team…

Pete let out a sigh as he and Gerry sailed down the river on their wheel of cheese "Well that whole thing was a total disaster."

"Well it could've been worse." Gerry gave a shrug "At least the two of us weren't the first ones to get kicked off."

"Yeah that's true, and at least now we've got a chance at nabbing a few new sponsors."

"Fair point. Hey listen, if there's anyone out there that needs a pitchman for arthritis cream or those bathtubs that have doors attached to them so that you don't have to step over the side, go ahead and give a call to my agent."

"Refresh my memory, who's your agent again?"

"God only knows how long it's been, I can't remember!" the two of them shared a laugh as they sailed out of sight, into the open night over France.

A/N:

Well here it is, another chaper. Sorry it took so long for me to get this one out, but I've been pretty busy lately. Aside from working on a few of my other stories, in 7l . particular my Naruto story, I've been dealing with a lot of preparation for finals and Christmas, and it's taken up a lot of my time. But you don't have to worry, I wouldn't have started these stories if I didn't intend to finish them. It'll just take a little bit longer than I expected it to.

Oh and by the way, if you guys wouldn't mind, then I'd like to see your opinions on something regarding this story. I've got most of this story already planned out more or less, but I haven't decided on which team should go to the finals. Would you rather have the Surfers (Geoff & Bridgette) or the Preformers (Trent & Leshawna) make it to the finals? I thought about doing both of them, but I wasn't sure how you guys would feel about having two teams of purely Total Drama characters in the finals for a show other than the original. Anyway, I'm open to any suggestions that you guys have, so feel free to let me know.

Rankings:

Performers- 1st

Ice Dancers- 2nd

Brains & Brawn- 3rd

Surfers- 4th

Best Friends- 5th

Father & Son- 6th

Stepbrothers- 7th

Fashion Bloggers- 8th

Geniuses- 9th

Sisters- 10th

Mother & Daughter- 11th

Adversity Twins- 12th

Goths- 13th

Vegans- 14th

Rockers- 15th

Reality TV Pros- 16th

Elimination order:

LARPers - 18th

Tennis Rivals- 17th