(Bjorken Telephone)
OmnipotentUIJudgeOfCharacterOV (ch 3): Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from with the Performers, especially given how many times I've heard people complain about Leshawna being robbed. I can imagine how satisfying it is to see Leshawna put Josee in her place, and yeah the Ice Dancers did get creepier with every episode.
OmnipotentUIJudgeOfCharacterOV (ch 4): Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I enjoyed doing the interactions between Cameron the Ellody and Mary of the Geniuses. I especially loved doing the interactions between Carrie and Bridgette, and I personally do find the love between Geoff and Bridgette to be inspirational. Like I said, Father & Son were heavily robbed in this leg of the race, and the Ice Dancers got first plenty of times, so I don't think it's that big of a loss in the grand scheme of things.
Scalene Waffles: I was wondering if someone was going to pick up on that little piece of wording, so I have to give you credit for noticing that.
Brocknedjar: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I know replacing a few of the teams earned me some backlash at first, but it does give me a lot of opportunities for character interactions to make the story all the more interesting for the readers.
SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I find that the character interactions can make a chapter a lot more interesting, and having a few original teams gives me new opportunities to make that happen. You pretty much hit the nail on the head regarding my reasons for letting Father & Son win that leg of the race. I get what you're saying about the Geniuses being kicked off too soon, but the point still stands regarding the difference between them and Cameron. He has experience on shows like this, and he can adapt and improvise. Plus Lightning getting electrocuted by the boat because he was desperate not to lose is part of the arc I have planned for him over the course of the race. But you're right, he does get hurt a lot.
: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I was wondering if anyone was going to notice that little exchange between Geoff and Rock, so good eye. You've got a point though, some interactions between Bridgette and Leshawna would be a good idea since they were so close during Island. I'm glad you agree that Father & Son deserved to win part of the race, though I don't want to spoil anything about who's going next time, so I'm afraid you'll just have to wait and see.
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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our teams got chummy with a pack of sharks, some of them a lot more than the rest. Once they had finished with making castles in the sand on the beach of Calanque de Maubois, it turned into a boat race across the Mediterranean until they reached the coast of Iceland. Father & Son made a surprising grab for the gold, something the Ice Dancers were definitely not happy about, and though it like the end for Cameron and Lightning of Brains & Brawn, in the end it was Ellody and Mary of the Geniuses who ended up choking on their own massive brains and got eliminated. So the question remains- No, I'm not saying anything about me not choking on my own brains! Who's going to be sent home this week? I hope you guys are ready to kick it, and you had better be because the time has come for the next exciting installment of… the Ridonculous Race!"
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One intro later…
"Welcome back to Iceland, which served as the Chill Zone for yesterday." Don appeared on the dock on the edge of Iceland, with a Don Box standing beside him "As always, the Chill Zone from yesterday is the starting line for today, and chill it is, because my nuts are already frozen solid. My walnuts that is." he held up a bag of walnuts, but then he tossed them away "Okay for crying out loud, who the hell keeps writing this stuff? Anyway, since they were the winners of yesterday's race, the first team to depart will be Father & Son. Now get move it, in this race you don't have a second to lose."
Sure enough, as if on cue, Junior grabbed a tip from the Don Box and read it out loud to both himself and Dwayne "It says that we have to take a bus to the geyser field of Geysisgil, and find the Don Box with your next top."
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"The geyser field of Geysisgil is part of an active volcano field that happens to be tucked underneath a layer of siliceous sinter, whatever the heck that is, but it's so skimpy that it's only about 20 centimeters, and whatever it is, it definitely sounds dangerous."
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At the bus stop…
"Alright!" Dwayne pumped a fist in triumph as he and Junior came to a halt in front of the bus stop "First place and it only took three tries, I say the two of us are gonna own this race all the way to the end."
"I didn't want to be here to begin with, but I'm not complaining about winning." Junior gave a shrug "We're definitely not gonna come in last now, so if we've gotta do it we might as well give it our all."
"Let's just make sure we don't lose our lead. Come on man, where's the dang bus?"
"Hate to break it to you dad, but it's a little bit late for that." Junior jerked a thumb back to where the Ice Dancers, Reality TV Pros, Rockers, Performers and Fashion Bloggers were waiting in the line behind them "Hey guys."
"Move it runt!" Josee promptly shoved Junior out of the way, the same with Dwayne, as she tried to for her way to the front of the line, only to be held back by Jacques "Don't even think about trying to get on that bus before we do!"
"Like there's any chance in hell I'm gonna listen to some skinny white girl in a unitard throwing a tantrium." Leshawna spat at her, and the two of them got up in each other's faces "I ain't taking any orders from you, so get out of my face you little (bleep)!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!" the two of them started growling at each other, and neither of them noticed as the bus pulled up next to them.
"...Okay, time to clear out faster than a One Direction concert." on that note, Rock promptly grabbed onto Spud by the shirt and dragged him onto the bus, with the other teams following his lead, and the Performers and Ice Dancers being the last ones to get on, and then the bus finally took off.
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Meanwhile, at the starting line…
"Our first six teams have already taken off as another team gets psyched up." Don glanced over to see the Stepbrothers wrestling over their travel tip, and then he gestured to the Goths "But for some of the teams, the fear and panic is clearly visible on their faces, at least underneath all of the makeup anyway." he received no reaction "I said the fear and panic, the FEAR and the PANIC!" still no reaction "Fear and panic!" still nothing from them, until…
"SPIDER!" as it turns out, Mickey had crawled onto Jay's shoulders in pure terror caused by the spider in front of him "SPIDER!"
"Okay now see, that's much better."
"And he's only mildly afraid of spiders. You should see what he's like when he's around a werewolf." Jay commented dryly as he helped Mickey back to the ground, the other teams passing them and grabbing their tips, and the Vegans stepping on the spider in the process "Well okay, that solves that problem." and so they rushed to get the tip.
"Yes, time to serve Mother Earth!" Laurie and Miles grabbed their tip and took off running after the other teams "I don't know about you, but I'm super optimistic about our chances in this race at the moment. We have the chance to show everyone that you can win a race like this and not have to hurt anyone or anything."
"Didn't…" Geoff paused as he heard this, then glanced over to where Bridgette was collecting their tip from the Don Box "Didn't they just kill a spider like 10 second ago?" he was met with a shrug, and so the two of them took off running.
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Meanwhile, with the first group of teams…
"There's the Don Box!" once the bus came to a stop outside the geyser field, the teams bolted to the Don Box, with Rock being the first one to reach it and grab a tip "Looks like we have to deal with another all in, and it's called Broken Icelandic Telephone. No idea what the hell that means, but let's do it. Rock and roll!" and then the two of them started rocking out as the other teams went ahead and grabbed their travel tips.
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"Rock's got the right idea, even if he doesn't really understand it. For this All In challenge, teams will have to hold down the button on the speaker box to hear me say "Please give me my next travel tip" in Icelandic, and with perfect pronunciation I might add. After they hear the sentence and memorize it, they then have to run through the geothermal field of hot springs and repeat the sentence in question to an Icelandic local in order to receive their next tip, and sweet sister of ducks is her dress distracting, so as a friendly warning, try not to look directly at it. You say the sentence correctly, and she'll give you your next tip. But be warned, if you say it wrong then you have to go all the way back through the geyser field to hear the sentence again, and try not to get blown up along the way."
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With the frontrunner teams…
"Alright you'd better get ready, because here it comes!" Trent and Leshawna were the first ones to reach the speaker box, and the former pressed the button just as Father & Son arrived on the scene.
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending!"
"Okay I think I got it, now let's move!" and so the two of them took off.
"Alright, I'll press it again." Junior made a move for the Don Box, only for Dwayne to grab his shoulder and stop him "What are you doing?"
"Take it easy kiddo, there's no need for us to hustle." Dwayne pointed out "We did just come in first after all."
"Yeah but I don't wanna go home next, so let's just hear the thing again and go."
"We're fine son. My mind is like a steep trap, once I know something it's cemented into my head just like-"
"Oh really? You sure about that?"
"Of course I am."
"Then go ahead and tell me, when's my birthday?"
"...It's in the Summer?"
"It's in October." and despite that little exchange, the two of them took off into the geyser field, only to almost immediately be met with a geyser erupting in front of them "What the-?!"
"Take it easy son, you just gotta follow my head. All we have to do is time it right, and then the two of us will be talking to that beautiful swan woman."
"You know mom is gonna see this at home right?"
"...Oh crap, did I say beautiful? I mean that she was wearing a beautiful swan. I love you honey, and I miss you!"
"Uh huh."
"Anyway, 1… 2… 3!" the two of them charged, only to almost immediately get blasted into the air by the geyser.
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"Another group of teams has now boarded the second bus heading for the geyser field, which consists of the Adversity Twins, the Best Friends, the Stepbrothers (who are still fighting with each other), the Goths, the Sisters and the Vegans, leaving only three other teams behind that have yet to begin the race, those being the Surfers. Mother & Daughter and Brains & Brawn."
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Meanwhile, at the speaker box…
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending!"
"Let's see…" Owen frowned in thought for a moment, and then he grinned "I think I'm gonna go with some wantons, rice, some garlic shrimp, some house noodles and can I get an order of egg rolls on the side?"
"Dude, you realize that's not a drive-thru speaker." Noah told him dryly.
"Aw man. Can we still get some food?"
"No time for dealing with the bottomless pit that is your stomach, let's move!" and so the two of them took off into the geyser field as the second bus pulled up to the speaker box.
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"The second bus has finally arrived on the scene, and as a result, our last three teams, those being the Surfers, Mother & Daughter and Brains & Brawn."
"Well at least we don't have to wait around anymore." Bridgette gave a shrug as she, Geoff and the others came to a halt in front of the bus stop, but then she glanced over to where Cameron and Lightning were trailing behind the rest of them "Are you guys sure you're going to be okay with… you know?"
"Oh you mean him?" Cameron glanced over to where Lightning stood, bloodshot and catatonic, as well as emitting a small surge of electricity "I will admit that starting out in last place will put us at a signifiant disadvantage, especially given Lightning's current condition."
"How did he end up like that anyway?"
"He forced himself to take a number of electrical shocks from the engine of our boat during the race yesterday, in an attempt to keep us out of last place, though it failed. I never imagined that he would resort to something that would cause himself so much harm." he was immediately met with Lightning spazzing with electricity "So I will admit that is some cause for concern, at least by a sizable margin."
"You gonna be okay with him little dude?" asked Geoff.
"I will admit that I am concerned about our placement in this race, but if I was able to survive on a show like Total Drama without any crippling injuries, then I can carry both myself and my incapacitated partner without too much difficulty."
"Oh yeah, you were on Revenge of the Island." Bridgette gave a smile "I saw you and him when I got forced to give a "demonstration" of one of Chris' challenges."
"Yes that was us, I am glad to see that your injuries from that day healed properly, I did have some concern in that regard."
"Spend enough time on a show like that, nothing can kill you afterwards."
"How very true." and then the bus arrived as the teams boarded, Cameron dragging Lightning on with him and the others "Though I will say that there were moments where I was uncertain that I would come out with my life, such as the mine filled with toxic waste, the haunted forest filled with various man-eating mutant creatures, Mount Looming Tragedy, the one place that I had been quite partial to personally." he was met with wide eyed stares from the others "What, do I have something on my face?"
"...Wow." Bridgette shared a wide-eyed stare with Geoff "After hearing all of that, spending two months at a summer camp in the middle of nowhere, six weeks on an abandoned film lot doing all sorts of stuff that could kill us, and getting dropped out of a plane at a few thousand feet doesn't sound so bad now."
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Meanwhile, with the frontrunner teams…
"There's the local- Wow, that dress really is distracting." Jacques and Josee reached the end of the geyser field and found the local in the swan dress waiting for them "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." he received the tip, but was still staring at the swan dress.
"Focus!" Josee smacked him upside the head and snatched the tip away from him "It says that we have to take the helicopter to the national part of Skaftafell and find the Don Box to receive our next instructions." and so they took off for the helicopter in question.
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"The Ice Dancers have completed the first part of the challenge, and now they're in the lead, at least for the moment. But now they're going to have to wait, because the helicopter is only allowed to take off once six teams are on board."
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Meanwhile, with the second group of teams…
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending."
"Okay I've got it, let's go!" Carrie and Devin took off into the geyser field, only for the former to notice the latter shivering as they ran "You okay homie?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine… kind of nostalgic actually." Devin kept shivering, but he was forced to roll out of the way of a geyser erupting, and he let out a sigh "You know what, that actually felt kind of good. But still, the cold is kind of nostalgic. It reminds me of this one time last winter when Shelley locked me out of the car for buying her the wrong kind of tea."
"Wait, that's how that happened? And you're not even mad?!"
"She's got her… moments, but she's really sweet when you see her on a good day… which isn't really that often, but still." and so he ran on ahead.
"It's just not right."
"I noticed." this was when Kitty and Emma raced past them, but the latter slowed down a little bit to talk to Carrie "Was it really that bad?"
"Worse than that actually, he got frost bite and almost lost three of his toes, and it was over some kind of tea. He deserves so much better than that, heck even a rabid goat would deserve better than that!"
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Meanwhile, in the geyser field…
"It's no good little buddy, I'm stuck like food in my mouth!" Owen found himself stuck in one of the geyser holes, despite Noah's valiant attempts to pull him out "It's over little buddy, this is the end for me! Tell my parents I lived a good life, and one other thing…"
"Tell them not to touch for portion of the cheese cellar?" Noah guessed dryly.
"Well there's that too, and tell Izzy that I love her!" and then the geyser erupted, sending him hurtling into the air… only to end up landing in another geyser, this time head first "Hey cool, it's like that time Izzy took me to meet that family of prairie dogs she was living with!"
"...Okay seriously, how in the (bleep) are you not dead yet?"
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"Okay, let's see here." Dwayne frowned in thought as he tried to figure out the sentence, though he was left struggling "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel… I got notihng." he was met with a dull look from the local "Okay you have to admit your language is pretty ridiculous." the dull look turned into a dirty look "Or you could say it's pretty ridonculous. Get it? You know like the Ridonculous Race?"
"Dad for the love of god, please just stop." Junior could only facepalm "Can we just go?"
"...Alright, let's go back." and so the two of them started to make their way back through the geyser field "You know it's not air to expect me to memorize something that I had only heard one time."
"What?! Oh come on, you've gotta be kidding me!"
"Trust me kid, they're never kidding with stuff like that." Leshawna and Trent passed the two of them and reached the end of the geyser field at the same time the Vegans did "Okay, now for the whole sentence…"
"No worries, I got this. Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." Trent was handed a tip from the guide, the same with Laurie, earning a jaw-dropped look from Leshawna "You can thank Gwen for that, a few bands that she and her goth friends listen to are from Iceland and she got me into a few of them. Plus thanks to her, I got to take Icelandic as an easy elective and I aced it."
"A good reason, but I had to get it right myself." Laurie gave a shrug "After all, the last thing I wanted was to be insensitive to the cultures of this country. Keep in mind that that's how wars have started in the past, and war is bad."
"...I'll keep that in mind."
"Should I expect them to pull out a rhinestone t-shirt about that at some point?" Leshawna asked dryly.
"If I had to guess, I'd say probably a 50/50 chance of that happening."
"Fair enough."
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"By this point, the third and final bus has arrived on the scene, and the last three teams have heard the Icelandic sentence and are scrambling through the geyser field. Though some of them have certain… handicaps."
"Let's go!" Cameron led Lightning by the hand through the geyser field, only to suddenly be blasted into the air by a geyser, but he was caught by Lightning before he hit the ground and then placed on his back as he took off running "Um… thank you. This is incredible, you still appear to be catatonic, and yet your body is still able to respond to your surroundings."
"RUN!" this was when Jen and Tom came rushing past them, screaming in terror even as they both crashed into the back of Lightning "Ow…"
"Are you okay?"
"Skin wise, I'm fine. As far as the clothes go, not so much."
"I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Geysers are pretty much just hot water, and this top is cold wash only! Nobody ever bothered to tell me that there was gonna be any real danger in this race!"
"But we've already been searching through the catacombs of the Plague in France and swimming with sharks in the Meidterranean."
"I can handle that, I mean putting my clothes in danger!" and so she took off running through the geyser field again, with Tom hot on her heels.
"...There are some things I will likely never understand."
"I know that feeling." Mickey and Jay came running onto the scene, only to be blasted with hot water form the geyser, but they let out a sigh "You know that… that actually felt pretty good to be honest with my eczema."
"You have eczema?"
"A pretty bad case of it too." Jay told him "Sometimes it gets to the point where it's so bad, his knees look like armadillos."
"Oh, that's… very unfortunate actually." Cameron cringed at the thought, only to find himself being hoisted up and carried away by Lightning "Well best of luck to the both of you!"
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"Hey." Crimson and Ennui arrived at the end of the geyser field and found the Rockers already there talking to the local "Are you done yet?"
"Not yet, give me a sec." Rock turned back to the local "Van, no… Vinsamlegast gaf… no wait, it's vinsamlegast gefa… Hey come on Spud, you heard it to so help a fellow Devil Frog out why don't you?"
"What? Oh sorry dude." Spud gave a shrug "I mean that was forever ago dude, who the heck could remember something like that?"
"Anhyone else!" Rock let out a groan and turned back to the local "Okay, either this time or we gotta go back… Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." he was handed the tip, and then he and Spud started rocking out before they took off for the helicopter.
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." Crimson was immediately handed a travel tip and given a raised eyebrow from the local "Most of our favorite bands come from Iceland, so yeah, we know how to speak the language." and on that note, they promptly made their way towards the helicopter.
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Meanwhile, at the speaker box…
"Okay, here we go… Oh god, I can feel my lungs trying to kill me…" Dwayne was left panting and sweating as he and Junior reached the beginning of the geyser field and pressed the button on the speaker box "And this time I swear I'm gonna remember it."
"Yeah dad, I'm sure you will." Junior let out a sigh.
"What? Hey don't give me that look, I got distracted looking at that lady and her goosy dress and stuff."
"Uh huh, sure you did."
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"I had the first half of the sentence memorized, you were supposed to memorize the second half of it jackass!" Chet promptly shoved Lorenzo into the ground.
"Other way around pit stain!" Lorenzo shoved him back, only for both of them to get shoved to the ground by the local in the swan dress.
"Oh yeah, that girl is so into me."
"You wish dumbass, if she's into anyone then it's gotta be me."
"As if, you're living in a fantasy!"
"You're the one that's gotta get in touch with reality!" and then the two of them started fighting each other on the ground again.
"Okay seriously, if I never see another geyser again, it'll be too soon." Jen breathed a sigh of relief as she and Tom exited the geyser field, only to find the Stepbrothers beating the crap out of each other on the ground, and Taylor scowling at them a short distance away "So are you guys done yet?"
"What do you think?" Taylor let out a rude scoff "My stupid mom screwed up the sentence, so I made her go back and hear it again by herself."
"Oh. Well if you're still waiting for her, we might as well go ahead." Jen then took a good look at the Icelandic local, or to be more specific, at what she was wearing "Wait a second, is that what I think it is? You have an original Petroki? OMG that is fierce, and it seriously doesn't hurt that you have the bod to pull it off." this was enough to make the local blush and hold out the tip to her, and Jen reached to take it, until…
"Hold up a second." Tom held out a hand to both of them and turned to the local "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." then he took the tip form the local, earning a raised eyebrow from Jen "What? Keep in mind that we have to follow the instructions, or else we'll get a penalty like we did yesterday."
"...Oh yeah, good point." and so the two of them promptly made their way onto the helicopter, which took off a few minutes after.
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"The first six teams have taken off and are now en route for the next part of the challenge, while some of them have to go all the way back through the geyser field, like the Stepbrothers and half of Mother & Daughter, which you guys can expect to come up later. Others however, are still struggling with getting through the geyser field for the first time, and even then they still have to give the proper sentence. Some of them on the other hand, are just trying to stay alive."
"Aw crap, my foot is caught!" as it turns out, Devin had his foot caught in one of the geysers, much to the clear horror of both of them.
"Hang on homie, I've got you now pull harder!" Carrie grabbed onto Devin by the leg and tried to help pull him out, without much luck.
"Will the Best Friends survive, and for that matter will any of them? Personally I'm putting my money on the geyser. One way to find out for sure, you'll have to tune in when we come back, right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"Alright, here it is." Bridgette and Geoff came to a stop at the end of the geyser field, and the former glanced over at the latter "Are you sure that you wanna try and do the whole sentence on your own?"
"Hey no worries babe, just step back and let me take care of this for you." Geoff took a few steps forward and turned to face the local "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." he recieved the tip from the local and glanced over to see Bridgette staring at him wide-eyed "What? I can be deep and smart like when I wanna be." he gave his classic grin as the two of them took off running towards the next helicopter.
"...I guess it's like the old saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover." Bridgette gave a smile of her own as she rushed after him.
It wasn't long after this that Emma and Kitty arrived at the end of the geyser field, though the former was left struggling to complete the challenge "Vinsamlegast gefa… Dammit, what was the rest of it?"
"Mer mina travel abending." Kitty finished it for her and received the travel tip, as well as a dirty look from Emma "What?"
"What do you mean what? You interrupted me and almost ruined our chances, and then we would've had to go all the way back through the geyser field."
"What's the big deal? I got it right, so there's nothing to be upset about."
"Yeah you got it right this time, lucky us. Word of advice Kitty, the next time you try to help, do me a favor and don't."
"...Okay then." and so they made their way onto the second chopper, where they had to wait along with the Surfers.
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"As most of the teams struggle to finish the geyser challenge while staying alive, which is a lot harder than it sounds, the six teams in the first chopper have finally reached the ice caves located in Skaftafell National Park, where their next challenge is waiting for them."
"There's the Don Box!" once the helicopter landed, Trent and Leshawna were the first ones to reach the Don Box and grab a tip "Looks like it's another one of those Either Or challenges, this one is called Feast or Fossil."
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"As we've stated previously, an Either Or challenge means that the teams have to complete one of two tasks provided. In this case, the teams will have to choose to either dine on a traditional Icelandic, or they can find and retrieve one of the fossils, which has to be intact by the way, that is embedded in the icy walls of the nearby ice cave. Once they've managed to complete the task of their choice, teams must bring either their intact fossil or empty platter to the Chill Zone for this leg of the race. As is to be expected by now, the last team to arrive may be cut from the race entirely."
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With the frontrunner teams…
"There they go." Ennui and Crimson watched as the Rockers and the rest of the teams picked up a few pickaxes and rushed into the cave, and then they turned to each other "Feast?"
"Feast." Crimson gave a dull nod, and the two of them promptly went the other way towards the buffet table on the other side "The other teams picked the fossil thing, so I say we don't do it because… whatever."
"Okay." and so the two of them opened the lid on one of the platters, revealing its… questionable contents.
"Yeah I can tell you now, this isn't gonna end well." Don suddenly popped up next to the Goths and stared down at the contents of the platter "A typical Icelandic Thanksgiving feast consists of putrified shark, pickled herring, curred ram, broiled puffing and singed sheep head. Oh god I can feel my stomach churning just looking at it, I don't know what they're giving thanks for." he was met with bored looks fromthe Goths, much to his clear annoyance "Okay then, thanks so much for the enlightening input. Anyway if you're gonna do it then you'd better hurry up, that lead you guys have over the rest of the teams isn't gonna last forever."
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." Devin was handed the travel tip from the local, to which he and Carrie shared a high five, and they quickly bolted onto the helicopter.
"Okay, this time we've gotta have it!" Junior and Dwayne reached the end of the geyser field once again "You got it this time dad?"
"Oh trust me kiddo, I never make the same mistake twice, now let me handle this. Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel asdenting." Dwayne was immediately slapped across the face by the local, to which he let out a sigh "I'm gonna assume that's not it." and so he promptly started walking back through the geyser field, with Junior following close behind him.
"Eesh, what the heck did you say to her?"
"I have no idea, not a single clue!"
It was after this that the Stepbrothers made their way up to the local, and they both spoke the sentence simultaneously "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." they were handed the travel tip, but they immediately started fighting over it.
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Meanwhile, in the ice cave…
"Okay, gotta take it easy…" Trent steadied himself on a patch of ice in the cave, and he glanced over to see the Fashion Bloggers trying to do the same, and the Ice Dancers gracefully sliding past all of them with their typical poses and smiles "Man Leshawna wasn't kidding, those two do get creepier by the minute. Anyway no time for that, gotta find the fossil before-"
"Heads up!" Leshawna slammed her pickaxe into a fossil encased in ice, only for both the ice and the fossil to shatter almost immediately upon contact "Oh… you'd thinking that something that had been around for as long as that would be more durable than that."
"Well there's that, and there's also the fact that you don't have any concept of holding back, and that you've got the strength of a rhino. You've gotta learn to hold back."
"When the hell have I ever been known to do that?"
"My point is, just think of it like you're holding something fragile that you know to have to be careful with. Like Harold."
"Did you just call my sugar baby fragile?!"
"You get the point, treat it delicately." Trent then glanced over to see Laurie and Miles in the middle of doing… something, to one of the fossils "Maybe do what they're doing, whatever the hell that is."
"Oh, Miles and I had decided to free our fossil using Reiki energy." Laurie told him "All we have to worry about is being sure not to use too much of it."
"What, you think it's gonna melt it or something?"
"Nothing like that, but we just want to free it, not accidentally bring it back to life."
"...Leshawna?"
"I know white boy, just keep sliding." Leshawna grabbed Trent by the front of his shirt, and the two of them slid away to another part of the cave "Still though, better take our chances in here than with the feast."
"Tell me about it." Trent shuddered at the thought.
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Meanwhile, at the end of the geyser field…
"Yes, come on!" Noah and Owen shared a grin once they received their travel tip, and then the two of them took off for the chopper.
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." Cameron was handed a tip, and then he grabbed onto Lightning by the hand and led him to the chopper.
"Well it's about freaking time." Taylor shot a dirty look at Kelly as she finally made her way back through the geyser field, panting heavily "If we get sent home today then I swear I'm never gonna talk to you again, unless I need money or something."
"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." Kelly was handed the travel tip, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Wow, way to not ruin everything for a change." Taylor was met with a dirty look as the two of them took off running "Oh my god mom, you don't have to sulk all the time. You know that was supposed to be a compliment.
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"With the inclusion of the Reality TV Pros, the next seven teams are now heading for Skaftafell National Park to join the frontrunners, some of whom are struggling with the challenge in more ways than one. Case and point…"
"Okay, there we go…" Emma grabbed hold of their fossil, which was contained in a large column of ice, and she glanced back at Kitty "This should keep it intact until we reach the Chill Zone, so go ahead and help me push."
"Hold that thought." Kitty pulled out her phone and started taking pictures, earning a dirty look from Emma.
"What are you doing? I said help me push."
"Yeah, but you told me before that you didn't want me to help."
"...You're enjoying this aren't you?"
"A little bit yeah."
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Meanwhile, with the feast…
"Woah babe, take a look at this!" Geoff lifted up the cover on the tray in front of him, and he could only shudder at the sight of it "That uh… that kind of reminds me of that eating challenge we had back on the Island…" his cheeks started bulging at the memory "So uh, we going for the cave thing then?"
"Yeah, yeah definitely the cave." Bridgette, green in the face at the thought of the feast, promptly grabbed Geoff by the arm and dragged him away.
Taylor and Kelly on the other hand, they had similar thoughts "No, not a chance, there is no way in hell that's gonna be happening. We're going hunting for the fossil in the gross cave, or else I swear I'm gonna barf."
"Don't say barf or-" Kelly was cut off by Taylor barfing, which led to her doing the same, and they took off for the ice cave.
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"With the arrival of the second group from the helicopter, 13 of the 15 teams are now working on, or just getting started on the second challenge, but Fahter & Son have yet to complete the first challenge, to a hilarious extent I might add."
"Okay, seventh time is the charm!" Dwayne and Junior bolted back through the geyser field and rushed up to the local "No way I can screw it up this time-"
"But not taking any chances." Junior quickly slapped a hand over Dwayne's mouth to stop him from saying it "Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending." he was handed the tip "Oh great, it's about time." and the two of them took off for the helicopter, only for Junior to notice the rather indignant look he was getting from Dwayne "What? We're already as far behind the rest of the teams as it is, there's no way I could risk you- I mean either of us- messing the sentence up again."
"Uh huh. You were gonna say you, meaning me, weren't you? Oh boy am I insulted, I'll have you know that I totally knew my part of the sentence."
"Did you really?"
"Yes, yes I did."
"Okay then, go ahead and say it."
"I don't feel like it."
"Uh huh. That's about what I thought."
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"By this point, all 15 teams have completed the first challenge and are moving towards or getting started on either the feast or searching for a fossil."
"Okay babe, just remember to take it easy in there." Bridgette picked up two pickaxes and then handed one to Geoff "Don't forget that the floors in that cave are gonna be really ice and that's gonna make it hard to move."
"Yoink, pardon us!" Dwayne rushed past the two of them and grabbed a pickaxe on the way "We have a race to win!"
"Take it easy dad, it's super icy in there." Junior tried to call out to him, only to be met with a loud scoff.
"Hey take it easy kiddo, I'll have you know that I used to be a champion on my old curling team back in college, so I know a good thing or two about ice and-" Dwayne was cut off when he ended up slipping on the ice against a rock, and he narrowly avoided being struck in the face by his pickaxe, leaving it to embed itself in the rock mere centimeters away from his face.
This proved to be enough to scare Taylor and Kelly into dropping their pickaxes "Okay, if you had a face as chipotle as mine, then would you want it to get hit with a stupid ice pick?"
"Well-" Kelly didn't get a chance to say anything.
"That's a trick question mom, the answer is no. We're taking the feast and barfing all of it out later."
"Don't say barf!" and that led to Taylor barfing, and then Kelly following her lead, but they still went back towards the feast.
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Meanwhile, with the feast…
"I believe you'll find this to be at least somewhat satisfying." Cameron stuffed some of the meat into Lightning's mouth and made him swallow, then closed his eyes and then proceeded to down some of it himself "At least one of us will be able to feel that way."
"You okay dude?" Rock shot a raised eyebrow at him.
"Yes I'm fine, especially considering the cuisine I was subjected to during my time on Total Drama Revenge of the Island."
"What about your buddy? He seems kind of out of it."
"He received some… physical trauma from the race yesterday, but he is determined to win, though that is a sizable part of the cause behind his current condition. But still, it is a challenge we have to take part in as a team, and as… strange as these food choices might be, they are still meat, and that should be enough incentive to convince him to eat." he patted Lightning on one of his biceps, which led to both of them being shocked "Though I will more than likely have to get him to a doctor after this."
"Uh huh. Well good luck with that little buddy." Rock gave a shrug as he looked back at his own tray, but then he glanced over to where Spud had his head phones on, tuning out the world "Hey dude come on, would it kill you to help me out and eat something?"
"What's that?" Spud lifted off his head phones and gave a shrug "Oh no thanks bro, I'm not that hungry."
"Yeah well, you are now!" finally losing his cool, Rock shoved some meat into Spud's mouth and subsequently forced him to swallow "Seriously hurry up dude, I don't know how long it's gonna be before any of the other teams finish!"
"Down the hatch." Crimson and Ennui grabbed the only things left on their platter, which just so happened to be eyeballs, and swallowed them without hesitation, before picking up their platter and walking away, leaving everyone present thoroughly creeped out.
"...Apparently that long, now move it!" and so the two of them picked up the pace on clearing their platter.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Looks like we have our winners." Don was quick to greet the Goths when when they arrived at the Chill Zone, platter in hand "Nicely done you two, you're in first place!" he received no reaction from either of them "You're the winners, you just won!" he still received no response, and he quickly ran out of patience over it "Are you guys honestly trying to ruin the show, is that what you're going for here? Get out of here, you're nothing but bad kids!"
"...Okay." on that note, Crimson and Ennui just walked away from the scene, though they shared a look with each other as they did so "As soon as I saw the feast, I knew that we were going to come in first today."
"I'm so excited." Ennui commented dryly "First place. Wow. I feel like I could end up peeing myself."
"You just did."
"...I did say that I could."
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"Well if that… incredibly underwhelming display is any indication, first place has already been taken, but last place is still up for grabs, and I think it's safe to say that nobody wants to get stuck with that."
"Not gonna lie, I never thought the day would come where we would find something even more disgusting than Chef's cooking." Noah looked down at the eyeball he held in his hand, then shot a glance over at Owen "Remember the golden rule of eating something inedible: Don't think, just chew and pray to the love of God it stays down."
"Eye eye little buddy!" Owen gave a weak grin before stuffing the eyeball into his mouth, only to cringe as he did so "I think it wants to come back up!"
"Don't even think about it!"
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"And here come the next batch of teams." Don counted off the next few teams as they arrived at the Chill Zone with either their fossil or empty platter in hand, starting with the Rockers "Second place!"
Then came the Ice Dancers.
"Third place!"
Then the Reality TV Pros.
"Fourth place!"
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Meanwhile, in the ice cave…
"Woah now, tone it down a couple notches." Trent snatched the pickaxe from Leshawna before she could swing it at the fossil in front of them "Yeah here's the thing, remember what happened to the last four fossils we found? I'm thinking I'll handle this one."
"You're worrying too much sugar, it's not like any of the other teams are-" Leshawna cut herself short when she saw the Vegans sliding their fossil towards the cave exit "Hold up, isn't that the fossil you two were praying at earlier?"
"It wasn't praying, it was our use of Reiki energy." Laurie told her, then shivered "My hands are freezing, so perhaps we should take a moment to thank the fossil spirits that have guided us up to this point." and so she and Miles subsequently started praying.
"Okay, so what the hell are you doing now?"
"We're honoring the fossil spirits that came before us. It's extremely important to remember when you realize that the day will come when we'll be fossil spirits too."
"...Good to know, but there's just one thing." Trent pointed to where their fossil spirit had begun sliding away from them.
"No no no, our fossil!" and so they started chasing after it, leaving the Performers to work on their own fossil.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
More and more teams continued to arrive at the Chill Zone, with Don counting them off as they did so, starting with the Fashion Bloggers "Fifth place!"
The Surfers.
"Oh yes, go ahead and make out, you're in sixth place."
The Best Friends.
"Seventh place!"
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Meanwhile, in the ice cave…
"Okay, so what are the odds this one is gonna break like the first four?" Dwayne was about to start chipping away at the fossil in front of him, only to stop when he noticed a certain other fossil slide to a stop near their feet "Well what do you know, how about that little piece of good luck? And you were worried we were gonna come in last."
"I don't know about this…" Junior glanced around the cave, his expression skeptical as he watched Dwayne pick up the fossil "I thought the tip said we had to chip a fossil out of the ice and then bring it to the Chill Zone."
"Not technically, he just said that we had to pick up a fossil from the cave, which we're doing right now."
"Maybe but still, something doesn't feel right about this."
"The only thing that wouldn't be right about this would be us getting eliminated so soon, now let's get to the Chill Zone already!" and so the two of them took off.
It was only after they left that Laurie and Miles showed up looking for the fossil "Come on come on, I know it has to be around here somewhere!"
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Okay maybe not a sofa, but what about a mini-fridge or something? Oh wait hold that thought, here they come." Don cut short his conversation with someone off screen when he looked over to see Mother & Daughter arrive on the scene "You're in eight place, or rather you would be if it wasn't for the fact that you've both earned a one hour penalty. I'm afraid I'll have to ask the two of you to step aside."
"Hold on a minute, what now?" Taylor shot him a dirty look.
"You didn't follow the instructions properly. After you got the Icelandic sentence wrong in the first challenge, the two of you were both supposed to go back through the geyser field to hear the sentence again, but only Kelly did."
"God damit, way to (bleep) things up like always mom. I sat around so long waiting for you get back that my butt fell asleep, and now we get a penalty because of it? You just have to runi my life at every chance you get don't you?"
"...Oh yeah, they're totally gonna go next." Don watched as Taylor stomped off and Kelly went after her, and then he glanced over to see Dwayne and Junior arrive at the Chill Zone and sliding their fossil towards him "Nice work Father & Son, you've arrived in eighth place."
"Yes!" Junior caught Dwayne in a high five, until…
"Hold on a minute!" this was when Laurie and Miles showed up, and in contrast to their usual demeanors, they were thoroughly pissed "That's our fossil!"
"...Aw man, I knew there was something wrong with this.
"Alright fine, here you go." Dwayne let out a sigh as he slid the fossil back over to the Vegans "I guess that means it's back to the ice cave before-"
"I don't think so." Don suddenly popped up in between the two teams "You guys have already checked in and you're not allowed to share fossils."
"Are you sure about that?" asked Junior "I mean if it was theirs to begin with and we just ended up taking it…"
"If you did it on purpose then that would be one thing, but you didn't, and as I said before you've already checked in. The Vegans will just have to try again."
"Wait what?" Laurie began to protest "But-"
"Don't care."
"But-"
"Don't care."
"But-"
"Don't care." and so Don promptly walked away.
"...YOU!" Laurie promptly rounded on Dwayne in her anger in a literal fiery rage, flames surrounding her in a comedic fashion "The Goddess of Karma will GET YOU FOR THIS!"
"Uh… okay then." Dwayne promptly walked away from the Chill Zone, and he shot a glance over at Junior as he did so "You know this isn't the first time I've been cursed, probably not gonna be the last either, but lucky for us I don't believe in goddesses or karma."
"Yeah, that's probably gonna come back and bite us." Junior grumbled as they left.
Laurie on the other hand, she breathed a sigh and turned towards Miles as they started walking back towards the challenge sides "You know it's kind of strange, seeing how I don't normally let myself experience negative emotions, but I'm sure that my aura is very purple right now."
"But what are we going to do?" asked Miles "There's no way we're going to be able to Reiki another fossil in time."
"Then I guess there's only one choice, we'll have to… eat the feast."
"...You want us to what?!"
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"And here come some more teams." Don glanced over as he watched Cameron and Lightning show up with their empty platter "You two are in ninth place, and you really should get him to see a doctor."
"Rest assured, I intend to do just that." Cameron gripped Lightning by the hand and dragged him away with that intention in mind, just as the Sisters arrived at the Chill Zone with their fossil in the giant block of ice.
"That leaves the two of you in tenth place."
"Great, now we're even further behind the rest of them." Taylor took the opportunity to shoot a dirty look at Kelly "You know this is all your fault. You're the mom or whatever, you can't just let me do whatever the hell I want because I'm so beautiful and talented. Come on already, act like a parent and take charge."
"Okay, if you're sure…" Kelly's expression hardened slightly "Then from here on out, what I say goes!"
"You can't tell me what to do." and then she stormed off.
"Uh… teenagers, what are you gonna do? Wait for he honey!" and then Kelly went off to chase after her.
Don on the other hand, he counted off Trent and Leshawna as they arrived on the scene "You're here in eleventh place. That leaves the Adversity Twins, the Stepbrothers, the Vegans and the team awaiting the end of their penalty."
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Meanwhile at the feast…
"Please forgive me, you beautiful majestic creatures…" Laurie and Miles were left breaking down sobbing as they forced themselves to eat the Icelandic feast, and all of the meat that came with it "I can't believe we're actually doing this… We're putting animals inside of us right now, but even so… I'm pretty sure they don't want us to come in last."
"Well I'm pretty sure that mine wants out right now…" Miles on the other hand let out a loud belch and fell over.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"And then there were less." Don counted off the Adversity Twins as they arrived at the Chill Zone with their fossil in hand "You're in twelfth place, you live to see another day."
"That's a relief." Jay let out a sigh as he and Mickey walked away from the scene "Between the two of us, I don't think the two of us are going to be around much longer."
"And we're probably get cut from the race too at some point." Mickey breathed a sigh, only to be met with a raised eyebrow from Jay "What?"
"Getting cut from the race is what I was talking about."
"Oh. I think this just got really heavy."
"...Yeah, we might wanna edit that part out." Don glanced over to see the Stepbrothers show up with their fossil "You're in thirteenth place." and then he proceeded to ignore them as they started beating the crap out of each other "And then there were two."
"You've gotta be freaking kidding me." Taylor let out a groan of frustration "For sure that whole penalty thing us up now?"
"You're not quite there yet, and here comes the last team." Don pointed to where the Vegans were rushing toward the Chill Zone with their platter in hand "But luck for you two, the penalty is up in three… two… one!" that prompted them to rush onto the carpet just before the Vegans were able to reach it "That puts Mother & Daughter in fourteenth." and then he glanced over to the Vegans as they came to a stop "Well my little meat eating Vegans, it looks like you two are the last team to arrive. You know what this means don't you?"
"So many animals… We just at so many animals." Laurie was left to break down sobbing on the ground, while Miles puked into a bucket.
"Well… that's unsettling." Don suddenly gained a wide grin "But I think it'll please the both of you to know that this is a non-elimination round!" that caused both of them to freeze.
"...What?"
"The race is designed for 26 episodes, but we started out with only 18 teams, so there have to be a few legs where nobody gets eliminated. Of course we're not going to say which ones are the elimination legs or not, because we find that teams try harder when they don't know whether or not they could get kicked out. But in any case, you get to stay for another episode."
"So you're saying… that I just ate animals… FOR NOTHING!" Laurie bolted to her feet with a wild shriek and pounced on Don in a blind rage, much to the cringiness of everyone that was watching.
"Ow ow ow! Security! Next time on- OW- the Ridonculous Race! Brazil! Also, someone HELP ME!" Don trtied to pull himself away from Laurie's grasp, only to get dragged away again, leaving Miles to puke on the ground again.
All the while, Cameron watched the scene from afar, and glanced over to where Lightning sat next to him "I will admit that I had my doubts about what you said regarding them back in Morocco, but now I believe you may very well be onto something."
A/N:
Well here it is everyone, the last chapter of the year. Not much to say really, aside from some minor changes to the elimination order in last chapter and this one, such as the Rockers ranking higher than they did, seeing how I do have some plans for them in this fic, but you'll have to wait and see what those are.
On another note, one interesting character dynamic I got to show is Cameron with the likes of Geoff and Bridgette, and they get to bond over the fact that they all survived at least one season of Total Drama. Speaking of Cameron, as I'm sure you noticed, I had Lightning be the one that's semi-catatonic from being electrocuted by the speedboat. I do have a reason for this, and it's part of his arc in this story, so please bear with me for the time being.
Anyway, I think that's all I have to say over this chapter. Thank all for reading and reviewing this story as you have, and as I hope you continue to do, make sure you all stay safe out there, and Happy New Year.
Rankings:
Goths- 1st place
Rockers- 2nd
Ice Dancers- 3rd
Reality TV Pros- 4th
Fashion Bloggers- 5th
Surfers- 6th
Best Friends- 7th
Father & Son- 8th
Brains & Brawn- 9th
Sisters- 10th
Performers- 11th
Adversity Twins- 12th
Stepbrothers- 13th
Mother & Daughter- 14th
Vegans- 15th
Elimination order:
LARPers - 18th
Tennis Rivals 17th
Geniuses - 16th