A Dramatic Ridonculous Race

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

With Chris McLean rotting in prison, it seems like the era of Total Drama has come to an end. However, numerous contestants flock to other shows, and some find themselves in yet another race around the world, and they'll make some new friends along the way. Some of them may even find love.

6. Brazillian Pain Forest

(Brazillian Pain Forest)

Ellismskd24: Yeah, that's a pretty good point. I actually didn't think of that.

SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, and a Happy New Year to you too. Even when he was more or less out of it, Lightning was still refusing to fall behind the rest of the teams and risk losing, which does show that he's determined to win, but it's not that simple either. It's part of what I have planned for him, so you'll see that soon enough.

: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it, and a Happy New Year to you too. I was a bit unsure myself about having Trent be the one paired with Leshawna, but yeah that pairing is definitely growing on me. I do have some plans for Geoff to interact with the Best Friends, and especially with Carrie, but nothing definite for a little while, especially when Geoff's plans for the race come to light. I do plan to include the arc with Noah and Emma throughout the race, albeit with a few tweaks and changes here and there to make it flow better. I wouldn't say that I have a lot more plots going on than the original, just a few ideas I thought would be fun. You are right about the interactions between the Surfers, the Reality TV Pros and the Performers since all of them competed on Total Drama together, so it would be fun to include them.

Frosty Wolf: Thanks, I'm glad to see it caught your attention. I get that a lot of people loved the Cadets, even though I personally think they're kind of overrated, though I think having Leshawna in the mix makes up for it. The Daters were not a particularly well liked team, and believe me when I say that I understand why. Cameron and Lightning did give me a way to get rid of them, though the main reason why I added them in was because I once saw a complaint about the Ridonculous Race being that they didn't have any second generation Total Drama characters that took part in the race, and so they were my solution to that problem. As for Brody, I liked him but I thought it was a missed opportunity to not have Bridgette compete with Geoff, especially since she needs to have a chance to redeem herself. I don't have a ton of changes to the elimination order in mind since I thought it was overall pretty solid, but they will be there eventually, so just bear with me until then. You're right though, it does take a few episodes for some of the overarching story arcs of the season to really get going.

Guest: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yeah I know what you mean about the Vegans, but they did kind of bring it on themselves, and they aren't eliminated yet, so they don't really have anything to complain about. I get what you're saying about the teams, but just wait and see how things play out and you might find yourself with a favorite. Cameron and Lightning is a team that's gotten a lot of positive reception so far.

Guest: I can't confirm anything without spoiling it, so you'll just have to wait and see, though I will say that I plan to shake up the elimination order, at least a little bit.

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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our 15 remaining teams ended up on the receiving end on a field of geysers in Iceland, and that was a hell of a lot of fun. After that they, had to make a choice between either chipping out a fossil from the wall of an ice cave, or force themselves to choke down an Icelandic Thanksgiving feast. The Goths ended up coming in first, and they went crazy over it as a result, whereas the Vegans made the choice to rogue and eat the feast, though it turned out to be for nothing since they ended up coming in last anyway. Lucky for them it turned out to be a non-elimination round, so they got to stay for a little bit longer, and I ended up finding out that not all girls punch like girls. I was able to survive that, albeit not unscathed, but one team may or may not survive today. Yeah that's right, now it's time for… the Ridonculous Race!"

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One intro later…

"Alright, let's get this started." Don (now sporting a black eye) made his way toward the Chill Zone from the day before "We're back in Iceland, and as is the status quo, the Chill Zone from yesterday will be the starting line for today. As the winners from yesterday's race, the Goths have the privelage of collecting the first travel tip of the day."

"Yay." on that incredibly dry note, Ennui and Crimson both stepped forward and the former pulled out a tip from the Don Box "Huh. It says we're going to Brazil."

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"Yep you heard the emotionless emo kid right, we're going to sunny sunny Brazil, which just so happens to be home to bossa nova music, makers of fine coffee and a bunch of other things that keep me awake at night for various reasons. For the first part of today's race, teams will have to travel to Brazil on one of two chartered planes. The first eight teams to board will be taking a direct flight, but the last seven teams will arrive two hours later, because they're going to be stuck on the milk run. Literally."

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Now with the frontrunner teams…

"Come on, let's go!" the first group of teams, those being the Goths, Rockers, Ice Dancers, Reality TV Pros, Fashion Bloggers, Surfers, Best Friends and Father & Son, grabbed their travel tips and made a beeline for the nearby road to hail their taxis, and they took off for the airport as the next group of teams, starting with Brains & Brawn.

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"Our first group of teams have reached the airport and are making a break for it in order to catch the first flight before it takes off. However, there have proven to be certain… complications that are making it more difficult than anticipated."

"Well this could be going a lot worse right son? After all, we could be stuck on the old cow pie express with the rest of them." Dwayne and Junior were left trailing behind the rest of the teams as they made their way toward the plane, and the former held up a certain fossil in his hands, that being the one from the day before "I guess we've got this baby to thank for that."

"Why the heck do you still have that thing?" Junior shot him a raised eyebrow "Didn't Don say we could just get rid of them?"

"Yeah he did, but I thought it would make a nice present for your mom."

"Huh. You know I still feel kid of bad about taking that from the Vegans yesterday."

"Well keep in mind that it was just an accident, it's not like we knew it was theirs. Besides it's like a wise man once said, happy wife, happy life." it was only after Dwayne finished this sentence that the fossil slipped out of his hands and shattered as it hit the ground "Oh boy."

"Like another wise man said, it's the thought that counts. Now stop wasting time, we've gotta get on the plane before it takes off!" and so the two of them rushed onto the plane before the hatch could be closed, only for Junior to stop when he saw Owen chewing on a stuffed bear as Noah was locking him into his harness "Uh, you okay man?"

"No less than he usually is." Noah commented dryly "So he's both scared and hungry right about now."

"Oh. What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing too out of the ordinary for him, he's just a little bit nervous being in a military plane after everything that happened on Total Drama World Tour."

"Hey it's not like you can blame me, I almost got sucked out of a plane! I totally almost died there and a bunch of other times too!" Owen suddenly let out a loud belch, the after effects of which had left Noah covered in stuffing and saliva "Wait a second, where's Beary?"

"Digesting in your gut right about now, you just ate him."

"Oh crap! Will you hold me?"

"I'd rather to about anything ELSE!" Noah's protests were ignored as he was pulled into a bone crushing hug by Owen.

"...Well good luck with that." and so Junior promptly walked away from the scene, though as he did he took notice of the Ice Dancers fuming in their seats.

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(Confessional)

"We failed to grab the gold in Iceland, in Iceland of all places!" Josee was close to foaming at the mouth in her rage "That in itself is absolutely unacceptable! You know the last time I was this mad about not getting first place in something, I got myself a new partner!" she was promptly met with a dirty look from Jacques.

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"As teams finally fill up the second plane, the first plane is actually preparing to take off. Or that is to say, it would be if it wasn't for the fact that the first plane got a flat tire just before it was about to take off, courtesy of a few sharp pieces of something left on the runway, and nobody knows where it came from. In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic and it was because of Father & Son and their fossil. Anyway, the point is that in a stunning reversal, the winners from yesterday have now been left feeling like a pack of losers, as the second plane ends up in the air before them and on their way to Brazil, along with the milk run in the form of several cows and various other animals on board."

"Seriously, we're riding in a plane full of these disease-ridden things?" Taylor looked around in disgust at the various on board, including goats, sheep and cows, including one standing directly next to her, then turned her disgusted glare back on Kelly "Yeah let me think about it, no way, not a chance in hell am I gonna do something like this."

"Come on Taylor, they're not as bad as you think." Kelly pointed out "They're just cows after all, and you eat them almost as much as you wear them. It's really not that bad, all you have to do is be one with the cow."

"Yeah right, there's gonna be a cold day in hell before I actually let myself become one with these filthy beasts." Taylor was almost immediatley met with karma in the form of the cow next to her leaving its… droppings on her, earning a loud scream of pure rage "It popped mom, it just pooped on my freaking boots!"

"Uh… Okay, time to change the subject. You know everyone back said that we wouldn't last for two days on this show, that we'd never be able to survive outside of the hills. You know what I told them?" Kelly was met with a scowl "I told them the truth, I told them that we might be a lot of things, but we're definitely not quitters."

"Speak for yourself, I'm totally quitting." Taylor promptly kicked a nearby goat out of spite and then stormed off to wipe down her boots.

"If you stay, then I promise I'll buy you a car when we get home."

"Okay then, done and done." Taylor was promptly rammed by that same goat and sent crashing into a wall as a form of karma.

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Meanwhile, with the rest of the teams…

"Go ahead and try it stupid goat, Lightning eats beasts like you for breakfast!" Lightning seemed to be having a similar problem with a goat of his own, leading to him getting rammed into a wall behind him "Sha-mommy… ow…"

"I did recommend that you not provoke such creatures unnecessarily, even if they don't have wings, breath fire or lay eggs like the ones on Camp Wawanakwa." Cameron shuddered at the memories, then glanced over to see Laurie and Miles looking down at some sheep in front of them in pure horror "Are you two alright?"

"I can't live with myself now…" Laurie was easily the more horrified of the two "I ate the head of that sheep so that we would be able to stay in the race, but then Don told us that it was actually a non-elimination round!"

"Yes, and then you assaulted him brutally. I think he mentioned that he wanted to press charges against you for it."

"You're missing the point, if we were never going to get cut from the race then that means I didn't have to eat the feast! I didn't have to!" and that prompted her to break down crying.

"Get ahold of yourself girlfriend." Miles promptly slapped Laurie across the face in order to snap her out of it "Seriously though, you need to calm down. What happens in Iceland stays in Iceland, nothing more and nothing less than that."

"Okay, I… I think I'm good now." Laurie breathed a sigh, causing Miles to recoil as her cheeks began bulging "What's the matter?"

"No I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like that. It's just… your breath smells like… that thing you ate back in Iceland."

"Oh dear god, does anyone have a breath mint?"

"Here crazy meat haters." Lightning bolted upright and handed them a mint, earning a few looks of surprise from the others "What?"

"You just… carry breath mints on you?" Trent shot him a raised eyebrow.

"Sha-yeah. Lightning aims to be the best at everything Lightning does, but even Lightning believes in good dental hygiene."

"...I have no objections to that." Cameron just shared a look with the Adversity Twins and gave a shrug "So how are the two of you faring at the moment?"

"Well they're not making us sneeze, so I guess that's something." Mickey told him "I can't help but wonder if being near so many actual cows will affect lactose intolerance."

"I can't recall ever reading about the possibility of being affected by lactose intolerant without actually having to ingest it."

"I guess that means we'll find out soon enough." Jay gave a shrug.

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"After several hours of travelling in the air, the second flight ahs finally started its descent into the destination of Brazil."

"This is rather peculiar." Cameron watched as Mickey and Jay bolted out of the plane and over to some nearby bushes "Well on one hand, I never knew it actually was physically possible to be affected by lactose intolerant without actually having to ingest any dairy products. On the other hand, I never heard of goats being able to fly, breath fire and lay eggs, so I suppose there is a first time for anything."

"Yeah, turns out it spreads to even being near cows." Jay poked his head out from a bush "Hey speaking of which, would you mind helping us find some toilet paper or… or maybe some kind of napkins or something?"

"Um… Lightning would you mind grabbing our tip while… I deal with this?"

"Lightning strikes ahead of the rest of them! Sha-bam!" Lightning bolted to the Don Box ahead of the other teams and grabbed a tip "It says it's a Botch or Watch."

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"As was previously stated by Lightning, this challenge is another Botch or Watch. In this case, the member of each team that didn't swim with the sharks at the beach in Calanque de Maubois will have to try and perform what's considered a Brazillian rite of passage, in which they'll have to stick their hand inside an oven mitt filled with hundreds of venomous bullet ants, non-lethal I feel obligated to add, in order to retrieve their next travel tip. This one is pretty insane too, I mean I actually stuck a turkey leg in there about 10 minutes ago and I'm pretty sure they devoured the entire thing in under one minute."

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Now with the actual teams…

"So yeah, a swarm of non-lethal bullet ants." Emma and Kitty made their way over towards the mitt in question "A little known fact about them is that the pain caused by the venom in their bites can end up lasting for up to 24 hours."

"Oh, well that pretty much sucks." Kitty commented dryly.

"Think of it this way, just don't look directly at it and it shouldn't be that bad."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense." Kitty glanced back to see a large bone being belched out of the mitt, leaving it to hit Mickey in the face "But then again… Are you okay over there?"

"Oh yeah, you don't have to worry about me." Mickey assured her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, see I've been bitten by venomous creatures so often that developed a certain immunity to them. Take last year during a school trip to Sea World, a box jellyfish ended up sitting on my head like it was a hat." Mickey then tried to land a high five with Jay, only for them to miss, earning a series of confused looks from the others "We… we don't high five much, something like this is actually pretty new to us."

"Hang on, I think I got it this time." Jay tried to land another high five, only to end up accidentally hitting Mickey in the face, sending him stumbling into Laurie while she was reaching towards the mitt full of ants, causing her to fall into it face first.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry about that? Are you okay?"

"No no, it's fine… I probably brought that on myself." Laurie let out a loud groan as she pulled herself back to her feet, only to leave everyone horrified by the sight of her face swollen from the ants' venom "What, what's the matter? Do I have something on my face?"

"...Nothing you need to worry about right now." Miles promptly plucked the travel tip out of the swelling out loud "Okay, feeling divine? Then swing your butts over to the coconuts."

"What does that mean?"

"It says that teams will have to cross a nearby gorge by any means necessary, and then head over to the numerous piles of coconuts that have been provided, in order to find their next tip."

"Sounds good to me, let's go!" and so Laurie started walking away… only to end up getting dragged by Miles in the opposite direction "Okay, let's go that way then." and so they took off towards the gorge, leaving the other teams to try and grab their travel tips from the mitt.

"Called it, step back dipshit!" Lorenzo shoved Chet back a few feet and stuck his hand into the mitt, leaving him to scream in pain.

"You're the dipshit here, it's supposed to be my turn to botch!" Chet shoved Lorzeno back and stuck his own hand in, screaming in pain as he pulled out the tip, leaving the two of them to shoot a series of dirty looks at each other as they took off for the gorge.

"Great, sign up for a race around the world they said, it'll be fun they said." Leshawna cringed as she looked down at the mitt full of ants "I think I really need to reevaluate how I make decisions in life."

"Well think of it this way." Trent patted her on the shoulder "It could be a pack of spiders instead of ants, so just be glad it's not the alternative."

"...Alright fine, just brace for screaming either way." and so Leshawna stuck her hand into the mitt and grabbed hold of a travel tip, resulting in lots of agonizing screaming as she took off running for the gorge, with Trent following close behind her.

"Okay, I guess that means I'm next." Mickey took a step forward and reached for the mitt, only to be stopped by Taylor getting up in his face and shooting him a dirty look "Um, then again I guess I can wait a minute for-"

"Hey leave him alone." this was when Kitty stepped in front of Mickey and promptly shot her own dirty look at Taylor "He was here first, just wait your turn like the rest of us."

"Fine, but I get to go next." Taylor's scowl deepend and she stormed off.

"Yeah, we'll see about that. So you okay?"

"Uh yeah, I think so." Mickey breathed a sigh "That was kind of a close one, thank you."

"You're welcome." and then she walked off.

"You okay man?" Jay patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, it's just that you know cute girls don't really talk to either of us that often, and me even less than you. Usually it's just stuff like whether or not we're okay, asking how many fingers that they have up, stuff about our emergency contacts…"

"Or something about how they can't understand us when we're sobbing."

"Yeah." Jay looked at Kitty, then at the mitt full of ants, then back at Mickey "You know she seems nice enough, and she might really appreciate it if she didn't have to stick her hand into a mitt full of ants like that."

"...Okay, why not." Mickey reached into the mitt and pulled out two travel tips, then promptly handed one to Kitty "Here you go."

"Thank you!" Kitty suddenly pulled Mickey into a hug and took a selfie with him, then walked back over to Emma and noticed the dirty look she was giving her "What?"

"What do youm mean what?" Emma's glare hardened further "What happened to the agreement we had about not making any alliances?"

"First of all, I didn't form an alliance, I just took a picture with the guy. Second of all, I never actually agreed to anything like that. Besides, what's the big deal to begin with?"

"The big deal is that you're in favor of trusting our competitors."

"And you can't let yourself trust anyone since Jake went and dumped you, which was three whole years ago I might add." that was enough to leave her sputtering in an attempt to retort, and then just resort to silence "Yeah, that's about what I was expecting."

"Yeah yeah, now step aside peons and let me show you how it's done." Taylor shoved her way past the rest of the teams, then suddenly blew on the glove and made a tip fly out "And that's how it's done."

"Uh… what?"

"The doctors say that my lung capacity is like so huge that they can't even measure it using those lung rulers or whatever they have."

"It's true." Kelly spoke up "This one time when she was 5, she was actually able to hold her breath for 7 whole minutes until we bought her this very expensive doll house that she wanted."

"It was totally ratchet, I played with it once and then threw it out."

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Meanwhile, at the gorge…

"I can feel the wind hurting my face!" Laurie and Miles were trying to swing across the gorge using a vine, only to end up slamming face first into the cliffside "Now I can feel the cliffside hurting my face… ow…"

"Look out, awesomeness and his dipshit sidekick coming through!" Lorenzo and Chet both swung to the other side of the gorge without too much trouble, though they quickly got back to glaring at each other, only to end up being sent flying into a bush.

As it turns out, this was thanks to Leshawna crashing into the two of them as she swung in on her own vine "Ha, and that's how we roll in my neighborhood!"

"Where the hell did you learn to swing like that?" Trent shot her a raised eyebrow as he landed on the ledge next to her.

"Spend enough time around my sugar baby Harold, you tend to pick up a few of his mad skills here and there."

"Huh. Fair enough." Trent then glanced back to see the Adversity Twins trying to swing across the gorge, only to end up landing in the water "You think they're okay?"

"You've been watching those skinny white boys as much as I have so far, they might have a crap ton of issues that nobody's ever heard off, but they're tough as they come."

"...Yeah, I can't argue with that."

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Meanwhile, at the mitt…

"So what, Lightning just has to stick his hand in this thing? That's nothing." Lighting let out a scoff and prepared to reach in to grab a tip, only to be stopped by Cameron grabbing his sleeve "Hey what the hell gives smart guy? Lightning's gonna win!"

"Not like this, because this time I'm supposed to do the Botch or Watch." Cameron pointed out, only to be met with a loud snort.

"So what, Lightning ain't gonna feel any little bug bites! Lightning doesn't feel any pain from stuff like that!"

"Yes I know, your pain receptors were damaged when you were struck by actual lightning back on Revenge of the Island, though not to the extent where you don't feel any pain. But the point I'm making is that if I were to let you grab a tip in my place, we'd more than likely receive a penalty for it." Cameron promptly reached into the mitt, yelping in pain as he felt the bites from the ants, and pulled out a tip, which alllowed the two of them to start making their way in the direction of the gorge "Besides, even if that weren't the case , you don't have to do everything by yourself all the time."

"Now that's a load of crap, Lightning don't need help from anyone, Lightning never has and never will."

"So you keep saying, but what are you trying to prove anyway?" that caused Lightning to stop running and tense up "Or rather, is it because you're trying to impress someone? I was present when you had that message with your dad." there was a tense silence for a moment.

"...For the smart guy, you sure as hell don't know what you're talking about. Lighting doesn't need to prove anything to anyone, Lightning just wants to show why Lightning is the best at everything he does and that's it, now pipe down and get on!" Lightning suddenly hoisted Cameron over his shoulder and subsequently took off running toward the gorge, the rest of their trip there being made in silence.

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"As the current frontrunners finish the first challenge, the original first flight, after a fairly lengthy delay, has finally landed in Brazil, and the teams are scrambling to get started and make up for lost time."

"Go go go!" Josee and Jacques bolted out of the plane with the rest of the teams, and they were the first ones to reach the Don Box, and the former pulled out a tip "This one is another Botch or Watch, that means you're up Jacques."

"Okay, so what am I doing?" asked Jacques.

"Sticking your hand in a mitt full of venomous bullet ants to get a tip."

"...I have to do what now?"

"You heard me!" so she dragged him over to the mitt "Now stick your mitt in that one and get the freaking tip!"

"I… think I need to reevaluate how I make decisions in life." Jacques took a breath and stuck his hand, and subsequently let out a series of screams of agony as he pulled out the tip "Oh god that stings, even worse than missing the gold in Vancouver by half a point!" he was met with a smack upside the head "Ow! What the heck was that for?"

"NOTHING stings worse than Vancouver. Don't forget that." and so the two of them took off for the gorge "Besides keep in mind that we got here late because of that stupid delay, that means we'll have to up our performance, like the way I did during the Olympic trials."

"Right, you mean like the way we did that."

"That's what I said."

"No, I'm pretty sure it isn't."

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Meanwhile, with the other teams…

"Come on stupid coconut, give Lightning the tip!" Lightning tried to punch open a coconut, only for it to bounce back at him and hit him square in the face "Sha-ow! Lightning isn't supposed to feel pain!"

"Damage to the pain receptors doesn't make you completely immune to pain, nor does it help that you're using your fists when the instructions require you to use these." Cameron picked up a mallet sitting next to him, or tried to at least "So… heavy… Anyway, you're supposed to use this to open the coconuts."

"Forget it smart guy, you can't even handle a bug landing on you. Lightning's got this." and so he started punching again, only for it to bounce back again, only this time it hit him in his… well let's call it kiwis.

"I find that results like this are the main reasons why your stubborn nature causes a great deal more harm than good."

"So what… Lightning is like the wolf, and he walks alone…" Lightning tried to let out a howl, only for it to come out as a pained squeal.

"Okay, I believe it's time for the two of us to move on." and so Cameron grabbed the coconut and tapped it against the mallet, opening it and revealing the tip inside "Excellent."

"Lightning wore it down for you… Lightning says you're welcome."

"...Yes. Anyway, this challenge is going to be an All In challenge, which means that both of us have to participate."

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"In this All In challenge, both members of each team are required to make a headpiece and a tail, each of them making a single component, for a costumed that must be deemed worthy of walking in the parade during Carnivale, and once the local present gives the team her metaphorical stamp of approval, they'll receive the travel tip with their next set of instructions."

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Back with Brains & Brawn…

"Well this shouldn't be too difficult." Cameron placed himself on Lightning's back as he glanced back down at the tip in his hand "After all, if I was able to make a suit of battle armor in under an hour from a mountain of scrap metal, disposable materials and a toxic mushroom, traditional attire of Brazillian culture shouldn't be that difficult."

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"At the moment, Brains & Brawn have made their way into first place, and back at the mitt full of bullet ants, the teams from the first plane are still working on the Botch or Watch."

"Well that uh… that could've been worse." Geoff winced as he pulled one of his hands (both of them being swollen) out of the mitt and handed the tip to Bridgette, then glanced over towards the camera "I like to pump iron sometimes, so once the right one started swelling, I just went ahead and switched to the left one. Symmetry is what body building is all about. Hey babe check these bad boys out, my mitts are totally ripped!"

"Yeah, that uh… That's not concerning at all babe." Bridgette looked down at Geoff's swollen hands as she patted him on the shoulder.

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Meanwhile, at the gorge…

"Alright, this should get us across." Kelly grabbed onto a vine and glanced back at Taylor "Alright sweetie, I'm gonna need you to get ready to hop on and hold on like your life depends on it, which it will, but only for a few seconds. Now DO IT!"

"Alright alright, now give it a rest mom. You know that screaming is going to make your neck waddle, now chill the hell out already." Taylor rolled her eyes as she grabbed onto Kelly, and then both of them started screaming at the top of their lungs as they swung across the gorge, and they only stopped when they reached the other side "Okay… not gonna lie, I totally didn't see anything like that coming. That was actually some pretty hardcore upper body strength mom."

"Oh, well thanks honey. That actually means a lot?"

"You're not drinking protein shakes or anything are you? Because if you are then they're gonna go right to your hips."

"...And the moment's over." and so the two of them rushed over to the piles of coconuts.

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Meanwhile, with the mitt full of bullet ants…

"Well here it is." Rock glanced down at the mitt full of bullet ants, then back at Spud "Looks like you're up this time dude, come on you can do this, and frankly you gotta do it or we're both gonna lose."

"...Okat man." Spud gave a shrug like he didn't give a damn, then promptly stuck his hand into the mitt and pulled out a tip, his hand now red and swollen "So we good?"

"Uh… yeah we good dude."

"Is… Is he okay?" Devin glanced over at Spud "He doesn't seem even remotely freaked out by the whole thing with his hand."

"Oh yeah, you don't have to worry about him. See Spud has thing where he has a delayed reaction to just about everything, and that includes pain. Thanks to that, I don't expect him to feel any of those hundreds of excruciating bug bites for at least 2 hours, and then he's gonna be howling in pain like a hyena on a sugar high."

"What are you talking about dude?" Spud shot Rock a raised eyebrow, though he failed to notice how swollen his hand was.

"...Nothing important, let's go man." and so the two of them took off for the gorge, leaving the rest of the teams to make their move on the mitt full of bullet ants.

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Meanwhile, at the gorge itself…

"Easy now, just a little bit further…" Jay and Mickey, having pulled themselves out of the river below the gorge, and they slowly made their way back up the side of the cliff until they reached the top "Okay, I think we're good, so now for the-"

"Move aside pencil necks!" Josee kicked the two of them out of the as she and Jacques landed in their spot, and she took a few whiffs of the air as her smile turned even creepier "I can smell it, I've caught the scent of the gold!" and so they took off for the coconuts.

"Well that was kind of rude…" Jay let out a groan as he picked himself up, only to notice a broken coconut with a tip lying in front of them "Hey Mickey check it out, you found a tip! I think that means our luck has finally turned around. Maybe this is a sign, maybe this means our luck is finally starting to change. I mean the two of us just found this tip without even trying, so that sort of sets off the vine breaking halfway over the gorge, and us falling into the ravine, though granted we did land in the water down there so that has to count too."

"Luck is on our side, yay…" Mickey gave a thumbs up, then fell back to the ground with a loud thud.

"Mickey? Are you okay?" he was met with a high pitched squeal, and he promptly dragged him away towards the sight of the next challenge.

It was just after this that Bridgette swung across the gorge on a vine "Well that was actually pretty good for my back, you doing okay over there babe?"

"You know it babe, I'm coming in hot because that's how we role!" Geoff swung over the gorge on his own vine, or tried to at least tried to, since he ended up hitting the ridge of the cliff with his crotch, resulting in a loud crunching noise as he let out a pained squeal and fell back, only to be grabbed by Bridgette and helped onto the ledge "Ow…"

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"Yeah babe… just gotta walk it off…" he tried to stand, only to fall over again "Actually, I think I'm gonna need a minute… oh god it hurts…" and then he leaned back over the ledge of the gorge and hurled.

"Just uh… just give it a minute…" Bridgette knelt down and gently patted him on the back, though she looked away as she watched him hurl.

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Meanwhile, with the coconuts…

"Okay, how about this one…" Kelly brought down a mallet on one of the coconuts, opening it and revealing the tip inside, and she pumped her fist in triumph "Yes, that's one for the rich girl!"

"OMG mom put your arms down, you have pit stains!" Taylor hissed at her, causing Kelly to put her arms down and blush in embarrassment.

"Oh thank the heavens, we finally made it!" this was when Miles and Laurie finally climbed their way back up the gorge, with Laurie's face still heavily swollen.

"OMG, back the hell where you came from filthy swamp beast!" Taylor, freaked out by Laurie's swelling, threw a coconut at her and sent her hurtling back into the gorge.

"Laurie!" Miles on the other hand caught the coconut as it opened, revealing a travel tip hidden inside it "Yes there's a tip, thank you Mother Earth for this kind gesture. Perhaps this is a sign that you've forgiven us for our previous sins."

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Meanwhile, at the bullet ants…

"Looks like it's my turn." Ennui glanced down at the mitt full of ants and stuck his hand in, then pulled out the tip, revealing his hand red and swollen "Ow."

"Don't be so dramatic." Crimson told him dryly, and then the two of them walked off towards the gorge.

"Looks like I'm up." Carrie swallowed nervously as she neared the mitt, then glanced back and saw Devin giving her a reassuring smile, causing her to blush as she stuck her hand in, wincing as she felt the pain of the venomous bites, but she pulled out a tip, and then the two of them took off after the Goths.

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Meanwhile, at the gorge…

"Okay, here it is." Rock and Spud reached the gorge, and then the former spared a nervous glance back at the latter "Hey Spud you okay bro, you are you doing with your hand?"

"It's fine, why?" Spud glanced down at his hand and finally noticed the swelling "Woah, when the hell did that happen?" he leaned against a large tree next to him, only to end up pushing it over and leaving it to crash over to the other side of the gorge like a bridge.

"Right on, great thinking on your part dude. Come on man, we gotta get moving before the other teams catch up."

"I could've sworn that my hands were the same size when I got up this morning." and so the two of them slowly but surely made their way across the tree, with the Goths and the Best Friends all following not far behind them, though it broke not long after, which prompted the rest of the teams (starting with the Reality TV Pros) to start using vines to swing across again.

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"By this point, most of the teams, if not all of them, have completed the bullet ant challenge and have either crossed or are crossing the gorge. Most of the frontrunner teams are also working on creating their costumes, but some of them have found some… roadblocks."

"Hey take it easy, she said it wasn't right so we just have to try again." Trent grabbed Leshawna by the shoulders to calm her down, and then subsequently dragged her away from the local "Look, just give me a chance to figure this one out okay?"

"You know what you're doing more than me white boy?" Leshawna shot him a raised eyebrow "I was on the same teams as Lindsay for two seasons."

"So was I, I'd like to think that counts for something. Look, how about instead of each of us doing one we both work in the same one together, so that way we can combine our areas of expertise into one, okay?"

"...Alright, if you're sure of it white boy." Leshawna gave a shrug, and so the two of them went over to get to work on their second attempt.

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Meanwhile, with the other frontrunner teams…

"Okay, just this last finishing touch and… done!" Miles breathed a sigh as she held up the head piece in her hands "Okay, that's one down."

"Hey Miles, what color piece is this?" Laurie held up the piece in her hand, only problem being that it was actually a beetle "Where am I supposed to put this?"

"...Alright new plan, you just sit there and hold onto the head piece while I go ahead and get started on the tail."

"Okay. So what do you want to do with the money when we win?"

"I actually already have a plan in mind." Miles promptly turned around and started working on the tail portion of the costume "I'm going to use at least a portion of the winnings so that I can start a new support group called the Closet Vegans society, for vegans like you that lost your way."

"Hey come on, are you still bringing that up? I didn't want to eat the meat, I only went through with it because I thought I had to!"

"True as that might be, you didn't have to lick the plate now did you?"

"...I thought what happens in Iceland stays in Iceland!"

"Yeah well-"

"Is everything you guys?" this was when Bridgette and Geoff made their way over to the scene, the former supporting the latter because of his… predicament.

"Yes yes, everything is alright. Just a bit of a disagreement over… questionable choices we made to secure a spot in the game."

"You talking about eating that feast back in Iceland?" asked Geoff.

"You heard about that?"

"And we overheard you guys."

"Just… great." Miles breathed a sigh "We thought that we had to do it in order to stay in the game, but then it turned out it was all for nothing since it was a non-elimination round. It wasn't even worth it."

"...I get that."

"You do?"

"Yeah, both of us do." Geoff knelt down next to them, cringing in pain as he did so, and gave his typical smile "I made a huge ass out of myself hosting the aftermath back on Total Drama just because I thought it was what people wanted from me, but I ended up pushing away the people I cared about because I got so deep into it." he glanced over at Bridgette, and both of them cringed at the memories of it "It wasn't worth it, but at least my girl Bridge over there and a few others were able to snap me out of it. Plus I think my bro DJ said it best, it's cool to wanna do something you believe in, but don't give up what you believe in to do it. When you gotta accomplice a goal, do it on your own terms?"

"You think so?"

"He knows so, and frankly I do too." Bridgette patted both of them on the shoulders "For the record I hate the thought of eating meat myself, so I totally get where you're coming from. But at the same time, when Geoff and I agreed to enter this race, we made a pact with each other. We promised that we would either win with integrity, or leave with our heads held high."

"That… does sound ideal." Miles glanced over at Laurie, then back at Geoff and Bridgette "The two of us will be sure to keep that in mind."

"Awesome. Anyway we gotta go ahead and get started on our own costumes, so we'll talk to you guys later." and so the two of them walked off to get started on their costumes, leaving the Vegans to continue work on their own.

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Meanwhile, with other frontrunner teams…

"So, time to address the elephant in the room." Kitty spared a quick glance over at Emma as the two of them continued working on their costume "Do you really think it's that bad of an idea to at least try and form an alliance with the twins?"

"Yeah because unlike you, I know how it's going to end." Emma let out a scoff "The two of them will get us to think they're on our side, and then they'll turn on us when we least expect it and get us kicked off."

"Are you really sure about that?"

"Hey come on, we would never do something like that!" as it turns out, Mickey and Jay were both literally standing right next to them "The two of us are gentlemen, we'd never do something that dirty."

"Oh, this is awkward."

"...None of you are going to shut up about this are you?" Emma let out "Fine, I'd be willing to go along with a trial mini allance, and that's the only offer I'm open to."

"It's a deal." Jay held out his hand, though it was left hanging.

"You can tell your brother he can take his hands off his face now."

"I would, but I kind of glued it there by accident." Mickey let out a nervous chuckle.

"Uh huh."

"Hold on a second, I've got this." Jay grabbed onto ont of Mickey's arms and tried to free his hands, resulting in a loud scream of pain, the sight of which was enough to make both the Sisters cringe.

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Meanwhile, with the coconuts…

"Okay I've got this pile, you take a look at that one and-" Noah paused as he took a glance behind him, and his expression dulled further "And apparently history is repeating itself, I really shouldn't be surprised by this, and yet here we are."

As it turns out, Owen was choking on a coconut, but after a moment he managed to swallow it, and he breathed a sigh of relief "It's okay, I managed to get it down."

"Yeah that's just freaking dandy, now all we have to do is wait fo about 8 hours and see if there was a tip in that one." he promptly poked Owen in the gut with a stick, earning a loud yelp of pain in response "Seriously?"

"What, you got me right in the coconut."

"...Why do I get the feeling that they'll have to censor that?"

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"While most of the teams continued to search for their tips hidden among the various piles of fake coconuts, the Surfer couple had just managed to samba dance their way into first place, though some of the other teams aren't that far behind them!"

"Yes!" Bridgette caught Geoff in a hug, but quickly broke away as she read the tip out loud "Now all we have to do is make our way to the cliff up ahead, then take one of the tandem hang gliders to the Chill Zone on Copacabana beach. Let's move it!" and so the two of them took off towards the cliff just as other teams began lining up to get their own tips.

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"As per mentioned by Bridgette, Copacabana Beach serves as the location for today's Chill Zone, and each team will have to use one of the provided tandem hang gliders that we've perched on the edge of the nearby cliff in order to soar down like eagles and land on the beach. Or in the case of the Surfer couple, well really it's just Geoff, plummet like a turkey because he didn't hang on tight enough. In that case, they'll have to hurry and swim to the shore, because as always, the last team to arrive may be cut from the race entirely."

"Come on, let's try that area over there!" growing impatient, Josee threw away a random coconut she was carrying and ended up hitting Owen in the face with it.

"Well that was lucky." Noah on the other hand, managed to catch the tip that was hidden inside the coconut in question "It's about freaking time too, now come let's go." and so the two of them took off to get started on the costume challenge.

"...Well don't just stand there, go back over there!" Josee threw away another coconut and rushed back towards where she was before.

"Hey what do you know?" as it turns out, this time it was Dwayne that picked up the tip inside the coconut "Come on son, we'd better get going!" and so he and Junior made a dash for the sight of the costume challenge.

"That's our tip, give it you me you middle-aged sack of meat!" Josee pounced on Dwayne in a rage in an attempt to steal the tip.

"Run away son, save yourself!" Dwayne handed the tip to Junior, which immediately prompted him to take off running.

"Don't just stand there Jacques, go after him and get that tip!"

"Uh… oops, my hand slipped!" Jacques glanced down at a coconut by his foot, then accidentally (supposedly) slipped on it, causing it to fly off and hit Josee in the head, sending her crashing to the ground and revealing the tip inside "Yes, what a relief!" he shot a suble glance at Junior, which prompted him to grab Dwayne by the hand and take off.

"Ow…" Josee let out a groan as she picked herself up "What the hell was that?"

"Did you see that angry monkey? It just jumped down from the tree, picked up a coconut and threw it at you. It had a tip inside of it too, so let's never discuss this again."

"...Do you really think I'm that gullible?"

"More of a hope than a thought."

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"By this point, most of the teams, if not all of them, are working frantically to finish the costume challenge, though some of the teams are finishing faster than others."

"Yes, now to the Chill Zone!" Miles received the tip from the local (who was disgusted by Laurie's current appearance) and promptly dragged Laurie to the cliffside just as the Stepbrothers came by (glued to each other and still glaring at each other) and received their own tips.

"Step aside peasants, we've come to secure our victory!" Josee and Jacques suddenly bolted onto the scene with ridiculously authentic costumes "Observe our masterful craftsmanship!"

"...Okay what the (bleep)?" Noah shared a look with Owen "I'm pretty sure the two of them just got here."

"True, but time means nothing if you have so much experience in such an art." Jacques gave a shrug as he received a travel tip from the local "Josee and I have been designing and creating our own costumes since we were four years old. It's gotten to the point where we can do this sort of thing in our sleep. All we need is to get our hands on some beads, sparkles and a theme, and then we can skate your dream."

"And my dream is to claim the gold, now let's go!" and so Josee grabbed Jacques by the arm, and the two of them took off running.

"Okay, third time has to be the charm." Trent and Leshawna stepped up to the local, and the former glanced back and nearly did a double take when he saw Crimson and Ennui standing behind them, the latter of those two wearing an all black version of the costume "Oh. Wow. Hey."

"Hey." was all Crimson said.

"So uh, what's with the dark colors? I thought the costume was supposed to be blue."

"They never said it had to be. Besides, bright colors are so meaningless. They're nothing more than tools for people to use to make up for the fact that they lead sad and monotonous lives."

"...Uh huh. So uh-"

"Walk away white boy, it's easier." Leshawna grabbed Trent by the arm and promptly lead him away from the scene "Those two are actually friends of Gwen, I met them myself awhile back and I know that compared to her, they're a lot more hardcore on the whole goth thing."

"Right… So anyway, we gotta parasail with a tandem hang glider?"

"Yeah pretty much. You know anything about that?"

"Nope, I'm just hoping it works out better than that time on Wawanakwa where I had to sky dive for that extreme sports challenge."

"Well at least this time the host isn't such a sadistic (bleep), so I doubt we have much to worry about in that regard."

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Meanwhile, at the edge of the cliff…

"Easy now, one step at a time." Miles lead Laurie forward as the two of them gripped onto their tandem hang glider and prepared to jump "Okay now listen to me Laurie, on the count of three the two of us are going to jump. 1… 2… 3!" and so the two of them jumped off the cliff and promptly started parasailing down towards the beach below "Yes we're doing it, we're really doing it! We're so close!"

"You know, it's not really like you to take charge like this." Laurie gave a raised eyebrow.

"I figured I would have to have to take control if we wanted any chance of finishing the challenge without coming in last again. You can barely see as it is because those mean bullet ants basically went and turned your face into raw meat." she was met with a low moan that drew her attention, and not in a good way "I'm sorry, was that supposed to be a yummy sound?"

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"As the race for first place continues to heat up, the race to not come in last is just about to get underway."

"Almost there, just a little further and YES!" Miles and Laurie both dropped down onto the beach from their hang glider and subsequently rushed onto the Carpet of Completion "I can't believe we did it, we actually went from last place to first place in one day! And we deserve it!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." this was when Don stepped forward looking a bit too smug for his own good "What you actually deserve is a 30 minute penalty, and that's exactly what you're gonna be getting."

"What, why? We won fair and square, we completed the challenge and everything!"

"That you did, but you didn't follow the instructions properly. Each one of you were supposed to make a component of the costume, but Miles made both of yours." that was enough to make both of them groan and walk away as the next team arrived on the carpet "Ice Dancers congratulations, you've arrived in first place!"

"Yes, in your face you meat-hating pieces of-" Josee's gloating was quickly cut short in favor of screaming in terror, with Jacques prompty following suit, at the sight of Laurie.

"Yeah we know, she's terrifying as she is right now, so chances are we're either gonna have to censor that or rate this episode as pg-13."

"Doesn't that seem a little bit excessive?" this was when Bridgette made her way onto the scene while dragging a soaking wet Geoff behind her.

"Probably but you know how it is, people are so sensitive these days that it'll probably end up getting classified as offensive for one stupid reason or another. Anyway Geoff and Bridgette, the two of you just arrived in second place."

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Meanwhile, on the edge of the cliff…

"Remember not to screw this one up jackass." Lorenzo shot a dirty look at Chet as the two of them prepared to jump off the cliff with their hang glider, and the former glanced at the camera "The fact is that I'm actually doing pretty well considering I'm stuck to this assclown."

"What are you kidding?" Chet let out a snort "That's the only reason you haven't dropped into dead last yet, fact!"

"Fact wrong!"

"Fact right! Stamped it, locked it, no taking it back!"

"(Bleep)!" and then the two of them fell off the cliff with their glider "Nice job you giant (bleep), and for the record I'm being sarcastic!" and then the two of them promptly crashed into the waters below.

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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…

"Okay, so which team is gonna be the next to- Oh dear god!" Don let out a terrified shriek as he watched the Goths descend onto the carpet "Great flying birds of death, the Goths just arrived in second place." and then he started counting off the next couple of teams as they arrived at the Chill Zone, starting with Mother & Daughter "Fourth place!"

The Best Friends.

"Fifth place!"

Father & Son.

"Sixth place!"

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"As the timer counts down and pressure continues to mount, more and more teams finally finish the costume challenge and gliding down towards the Chill Zone."

"Okay, I think we're just about ready." Kitty gripped the tandem hang glider she and Emma were using, then glanced over to where the Adversity Twins were hanging onto their own "We've got each other's backs right?"

"Oh yeah, you count on it." Mickey gave her a thumbs up as both teams jumped and started sailing down towards the beach "Oh yeah, this is our best day ever! I feel unstoppable, I feel like there isn't anything that could… Oh man, here we go… ACHOO!" he suddenly let out a loud sneeze that sent them crashing into the Sisters' and sent all four of them spiralling out of control through the air.

"Ouch, looks like like the Adversity Twins just took the Sisters on an unwanted double date to the air show." Don looked on as both teams crash landed on the Carpet of Completion in a tangled heap.

"Okay… trial is over…" Emma let out a groan "Alliance is officially terminated."

"Sorry guys." Kitty glanced over at the Twins "The gigantic knot in my spine says that I have to go with my sister on this one."

"Totally fair." Mickey let out a pained groan "It was fun while it lasted though."

"Oh yeah, totally. I'd try and pull you in for another selfie if I could move without feeling so much excruciating pain."

"And it's a painful, multi-limbed tie for 7th place!" Don made the call "Or rather it would be if it wasn't for the fact that the Sisters have earned a penalty."

"What? Why?"

"Because the first challenge required you to stick your hand into the mitt full of bullet ants and pull out a tip, but instead you received one from another team. That earns you a 10 minute penalty, so you'll both have to step aside." he glanced back down at the two of them "Or you can just wait there until the penalty is up, since you both look kind of bent." he then motioned for a stretcher to come in, which led to the Adversity Twins being taken away.

"Wait hold on a second!" Laurie suddenly spoke up and shot a glare at Don "If they broke the rules like we did, then how come they we get a longer penalty than they do?"

"Tell you what: How about I lift what's left of your penalty, and instead I press charges against you for assaulting me yesterday." that was enough to shut them up "Yeah, that's what I thought." then he turned back to the camera "Anyway, with Adversity Twins are in 7th, two teams are waiting for their penalties to end. That leaves only eight teams left to cross the finish line, and one of them is going to be left behind."

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(Confessional)

"Okay…" Laurie glanced nervously at the camera "In hindsight, attacking him yesterday in a fit of rage might not have been the best move on my part."

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Now back to the Chill Zone…

"Seven teams down, two waiting on penalties, six yet to arrive." Don glanced up at the skyline in front of the beach "Not for long that is."

"Coming in hot!" this was when the Fashion Bloggers landed on the carpet in a graceful fashion.

"That leaves the Fashion Bloggers in eighth place."

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Noah and Owen promptly crash landed on the beach a few feet away from the carpet "Ow…"

"Sorry guys, but if it's not on the carpet then it doesn't count." then a loud buzzer sounded "That on the other hand does. Sisters your penalty is up, that leaves you in ninth place." he was met with two simultaneous groans "Yep, the battle cry of victory." he motioned for another stretcher to take them away just as Brains & Brawn and the Stepbrothers rushed onto the carpet "Brains & Brawn are in tenth place, and the Stepbrothers are in 11th!"

"Great, out of the top ten because of my partner being the size of a baby whale, and he's got the athletic skills to go with it." Noah rolled his eyes as he tried to drag Owen out of the wreckage and onto the carpet, with little success.

"Yeah, looks like they're not gonna have much luck unless-"

"INCOMING!" Trent and Leshawna suddenly soared down onto the beach, knocking Owen and Noah onto the carpet before reaching it themselves.

"The Reality TV Pros are in 12th, and the Performers are in 13th. That leaves the Vegans, who have about a minute left on their penalty, and the Rockers, who should be coming down from the cliff right about-"

"ROCK AND ROLL!" this was when Rock and Spud landed on the beach and tossed aside their hang glider "Time to get this one in the bag!"

"Huh? Oh yeah man, we gotta-" Spud was about to run towards the carpet, only to stop as he grabbed his swollen red hand, and then he started screaming in pain.

"...Yep, I think that means he feels the bug bites now. Hold up a second dude, I've got your back for this one!" Rock suddenly jumped onto Spud's back as he took off running.

"Well here they come, this is gonna be close." Don glanced between the two teams "But lucky for you Vegans, your penalty ends in 3… 2… 1! You're good to go!"

"Yes!" Laurie and Miles prepared to take off for the carpet, but as they did the Rockers suddenly bolted past them and onto the carpet before they could react.

"Rockers are in 14th, second to last place and they're still in this!" Don made the call, and then he turned to the Vegans, his expression more smug than it should've been "Well that's a tofu break on your part ladies, the two of you have been cut from the race. Maybe the two of you can get a job at a tempeh agency, but until then, soy long."

"All of our plans for the monkey… vanished into thin air…" Miles and Laurie shared a look full of remorse, and then they sadly walked away from the scene.

"And then there were fourteen." Don watched as the Vegans walked away from the Chill Zone, then turned towards the camera to sign off "Now that the last of the truly unselfish players have been cut from the competition, things are about to get ugly. Make sure to tune in next time for more of… the Ridonculous Race!"

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Now for the outro of the losing team…

"To think that we went through all of that for nothing…" Miles let out a sigh as she and Laurie made their way down the beach, the sun setting above them "That million dollars would've given us the chance to help so many causes."

"I know, and to think I actually ate meat…" Laurie nearly broke down crying at the thought of her actions in Iceland.

"You don't have to blame yourself, I know that your heart was in the right place. Not the one that you ate before I mean, I'm talking about your heart, the one that's inside you. Well when you think about it, I guess both of them are inside of you now, but I mean the-"

"Stop talking, just please stop talking."

A/N:

Well let me start things off this time by saying, Happy New Year everyone, even if it was a few weeks ago. Anyway there isn't really too much to say on this one either, aside from trying to go for a few new character interactions. Like I've mentioned before, it did take a few episodes for a couple of the story arcs throughout the season to really get going, and that's more or less the case here too.

As far as new character interactions go, in this chapter there are mainly two that come to mind. First up is Bridgette and Geoff with the Vegans. I figured Bridgette would probably get along with them, seeing as how none of them eat meat, and Geoff would too in relation to giving up their principles for getting what they want or accomplishing their goal, as a little callback to his time as the host of the Total Drama Aftermath, and how he's developed since then. Another noteworthy one would be the Performers interacting with and reacting to the Goths, mainly because of the headcanon I had previously established where in this universe, both Crimson and Ennui are friends with Gwen.

Just one other thing I think is worth mentioning is that in this one, the Sisters got a 10 minute penalty for Kitty receiving a tip from Mickey instead of taking it from the mitt full of bullet ants. That was never addressed in the original, and I just thought it was worth mentioning.

Rankings:

Ice Dancers- 1st

Surfers- 2nd

Goths- 3rd

Mother & Daughter- 4th

Best Friends- 5th

Father & Son- 6th

Adversity Twins- 7th

Fashion Bloggers- 8th

Sisters- 9th

Brains & Brawn- 10th

Stepbrothers- 11th

Reality TV Pros- 12th

Performers- 13th

Elimination order:

LARPers - 18th

Tennis Rivals 17th

Geniuses - 16th

Vegans - 15th