(A Tisket, a Casket, I'm Gonna Blow a Gasket)
: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Trent and Leshawna had both spent a fair amount of time with other contestants on Total Drama, so I figured that they had to rub off on them somehow, whether it be picking up personality traits or broadening their skill sets. Yeah, I do enjoy having Geoff and Bridgette interact with the other teams since they're without a doubt some of the nicest competitors in the entire franchise. I completely agree with your thoughts about DJ being a good partner for Geoff in the race, and I actually did do that in the Ridonculous Underdogs, a fic that I did a few years back. As for DJ getting redemption, I actually tried my hand at that in my story A BFG's World Tour. I have some other ideas to add into this canon universe. As for what those ideas are, you'll just have to wait and see.
SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yeah, I never saw the Vegans making it past this point, but I did give them some nice interactions with Geoff and Bridgette, and their discussion about sticking to their principles in spite of winning or losing did give them a stronger sense of closure, though I admit I wasn't particularly fond of them myself. Yep, I think Leshawna was saying what everyone was thinking about the Adversity Twins. They might have a sizable number of problems that no one has ever heard of, but they persevere and definitely live up to the name of their team. You picked a good choice for a favorite team.
Frosty Wolf: Yeah, that did get kind of annoying after awhile. At least with Trent and Leshawna, they can complement each other and balance each other out when needed. I don't know if Kelly had really needed to be toned down that much. Taylor on the other hand, there's a reason why so many people hate her. Yeah I think that's the point of Don, because unlike Chris (and Chef to a much lesser extent), he actually cares about the rules and the contestants. Most of the time. I'd be mad at Laurie too, and frankly he could've pressed charges against her for assaulting him. Yeah I had him say what I was thinking about that particular subject. People are definitely too sensitive these days.
Joel Connell: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Sorry for any confusion from the chapter, but you are right in saying that Don could've had the Vegans arrested before that. He was bluffing like you guessed, I only had him say that to shut the Vegans up and stop them from complaining about the penalty they received. Anyway, I hope that clears things up for you, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story.
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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, some of our teams had more fun than utters as we landed in Brazil, and let me tell you now that someone got fired for that one. The ants came marching one by one, mainly emerging from a mitt full of them, and the debut of alliance between the Sisters and the Adversity Twins ended before it started, which was also guaranteed by said alliance earning the Sisters a penalty that held them back in the running. The pressures of the race have clearly started to get to some of the remaining teams, but not the Ice Dancers since they finally managed to come in first place for one, and we said soy long to the Vegans when a penalty of their own ended up being enough to push them into last place, which led to the two of them getting cut from the race entirely. I think the Surfers put it best, you can either win with integrity or leave with your heads held high. The Vegans got to do neither, and what's even more sad about it is that their flight back home crash landed on a small island populated entirely by cannibals. You know it's so weird and ironic, I can't even think about it without laughing a little bit. In the meantime however, all of you had better get ready for even more delicious chaos, because the time has come for the next exciting installment of… the Ridonculous Race!"
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One intro later…
"And here we are again." in the typical fashion, Don started off the episode at the Chill Zone from the day before "The Chill Zone for last week was located here on Copacabana Beach, and that makes it the starting line for today's leg of the race. As the winners of yesterday's race, the Ice Dancers will be departing first."
"The first of many I might add." Josee and Jacques stepped onto the scene looking as confident as they ever did "Believe me when I tell you that we intend to use this lead to widen the gap between us and the other teams. We'll be moving so fast that we'll lose our camera crew!"
"Yeah I'm sure that'll be a huge loss."
"Not at all, especially considering that we'll slow down after that and give the camera crew the time to catch up with us, because our fans deserve to see us perform!"
"Yeah, they deserve it like they deserve a cavity."
"...I'm choosing to ignore that for the time being. Alright then Jacques, get the tip!"
"Getting the tip." Jacques picked up a tip from within the Don Box and read it out loud, though as he did his face turned pale "It says that we have to make our way to Dracula's castle, located deep in the heart of… Transylvania?!"
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"Yep you heard the member of their team that's actually sane, we're going to Transylvania. This country serves as the home of majestic mountains, old Saxon architecture and the birth place of scaring the ever loving (bleep) out of people. Our 14 remaining teams must travel to Dracula's castle and find the Don Box that holds their next travel top, but before they do that they're going to have to be taken to the airport in Brazil by shuttle bus. I can't wait to see how the Ice Dancers react to the fact that their lead over the other teams has more or less become nonexistent."
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And now for the Ice Dancers reaction…
"Huh, so much for the lead." Jacques watched as all of the other teams boarded the shuttle bus along with them, only to notice the way Josee was glaring at him, and so he promptly slumped further back into his seat "I mean… How dare they steal our lead from us, even though it's entirely within the rules of the competition."
"It doesn't matter, they're ruining our rightfully earned lead!" Josee promptly stormed off towards the back of the bus, resulting in lots of screaming, crashing and things being thrown in numerous directions.
"And the balance of the universe has been restored."
"Is she gonna be okay?" asked Trent "And the rest of us for that matter?"
"Oh you don't need to worry about Josee, just give her a few minutes and she'll end up raging herself to sleep. The rest of the ride to the airport will be nice and peaceful."
"...I'll take your word for it." Trent let out a sigh as he sat down in his seat "At least nobody else looks like they're gonna blow their fuse at the drop of a hat.
Crimson and Ennui on the other hand, they shared a look that was only slightly less deadpan than it usually was "I don't understand, what is this strange feeling that's coursing through me?"
"I can't be certain, but I fear that it may be… happiness." Ennui sounded somewhat dramatic, but his deadpan tone disguised it from everyone else "Did I show emotion?"
"Not enough for any of these fools to notice."
"Okay. It's just that we're going to Transylvania. I can't believe it."
"I know, it's awesome." Crimson then looked over to see Tom shaking in his seat with a huge grin spreading across his face "I find your happiness to be repulsive."
"What? Oh sorry, I'm just really excited." Tom's grin widened as he looked over at Jen "So how about it, can I show them already? Please for the love of god, let me show them!"
"Alright alright, go ahead and show them already." Jen assured him.
"Okay then, here it is!" Tom held up the item in question, which happened to be a fez, which drew a lot of attention from the other teams "I actually bought this off a local here in Brazil, and it turns out he's actually a distributor, so I went ahead and ordered 4,000 of them to get shipped back home for when we get back from the race. I'm going to make fezes happen, just wait and see and I'll prove all of the naysayers wrong!"
"Huh. Bet that must make a lot of Doctor Who fans happy as all hell." Leshawna muttered, which earned a raised eyebrow from Trent "My sugar baby Harold talked me into watching it with him awhile back, 10 episodes in and I got hooked."
"Hey, I'm no one to judge." Trent gave a shrug "Cody got Gwen into anime at some point, and then they both talked me into it. Apparently guys like them have a solid understanding of good entertainment."
"No arguments here hon."
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"So on that note, all fourteen teams have reached the airport and made a beeline to get their tickets for their flights to Transylvania. However, some of them get there earlier than others, and not everyone is happy about that."
"Let's see…" Cameron allowed himself to be hoisted onto Lightning's shoulders and looked at the schedule from where they were positioned at the back of the line "According to the schedule, there are only two flights currently intended for Transylvania. Given our current position, I suppose the two of us will be-"
"Not a chance in hell, Lightning ain't coming in last!" Lightning suddenly grabbed Cameron by the back of his shirt "Smart guy is gonna get to the front before all the rest of these losers and get us on the first flight!"
"I'd like to point out that in no way, shape or form do I consent to this!" Cameron's cries fell on deaf ears as he was hurled to the front of the ticket line, leading him to crash into the receptionist, and he let out a loud squeal of pain "I apologize for this… can I please get two tickets on the first flight to Transylvania?" he was handed two tickets "Thank you. May I also receive some intensive medical care?"
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(Confessional)
"Well damn." Leshawna let out a low whistle as she shared a look with Trent "Gotta give it to the scrawny boy, he's got grit and the brains to use it right."
"I get what you're saying, but I'm pretty sure getting chucked to the front of the line like a cannonball wasn't his idea." Trent pointed out dryly "I didn't see a ton of Revenge of the Island, but I saw enough to know that Lightning was nowhere near as competitive or aggressive as he is right now."
"The jock went off the deep end, spend enough time on Total Drama and it'll do that to just about anyone."
"...Yeah okay, fair enough." Trent let out a sigh "Still though, the two of us have our own problems to deal with right now. I mean we did pretty well during the first part of the race, we got first at least once."
"And we beat the Ice Dancers a few times, got the chance to stick it to that annoying skinny white (bleep) in the unitard."
"Uh huh. Anyway we did pretty well at first, but in the last few we didn't even make it into the top ten. I don't want to get kicked off just yet, so I think we're gonna have to step up our game from here on out."
"Well think of it this way, we did get the chance to get on the first flight today, so now we get the chance to kick some of the other teams in their (bleep).
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"The first seven teams to get their tickets, those being Brains & Brawn, the Performers, the Ice Dancers, the Goths, Father & Son, the Sisters and the Surfers, have departed on the first flight to Transylvania. That leaves the remaining seven teams, those being the Best Friends, Fashion Bloggers, Reality TV Pros, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Stepbrothers and Mother & Daughter to wait for the second flight, which is set to leave a full 45 minutes later, which is a hurtle that may be difficult for them to overcome."
"Well it could be a lot worse." Owen looked up at the board with the flight schedules, then turned his gaze over to where Noah sat next to him reading a magazine, his expression as deadpan as it ever was "Hey come on little buddy, I know you wanted to be on the first flight, but at least we didn't start in last place. We've still got a chance to win this! We're the Reality TV Pros, veterans of the Screaming Gophers and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Got! We're not going out until we say we're done! You got me?"
"...Are you just trying to tell me what I want to hear?" Noah finally looked up and shot a dull look over at Owen.
"That depends, is it working?"
"Not particularly."
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"This just in, the second plane has finally taken off from Brazil, as the first plane finally touches down in Romania. The race for first place has officually begun."
"Sha-bam, Lightning is about to take the win all for-" Lightning bolted out of the airport while carrying Cameron on his back, only to stop in his tracks as his bravado faded at the sight of the castle standing in the distance, lightning flashing amidst a sizable rainstorm "Sha-wow, that uh… that's pretty freaky and stuff." he was met with similar reactions from the rest of the teams from the first flight. Well, most of them anyway.
"...Wow." Crimson and Ennui on the other hand, they just stared at the castle with little to no real emotion visible in their expressions, though their words told a different story "Okay, so anyone who knows about goth history knows that Dracula was the first one ever, which means that he was our great king. To be here in his domain is… I just… I can't… I'm so…"
"Hey stop it." Ennui was quick to settle her down, with little to no emotion visible "That was too close. You almost got color in your face."
"Oh. Thanks." and then a wolf howled in the distance in a very ominous fashion.
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(Confessional)
"Okay, no taxis or anything, but the sight of that castle with the lightning and the storm flashing in the background is gonna haunt me for awhile." Bridgette cringed at the thought "Though still not as bad as that phobia factor challenge back on Wawanakwa."
"Yeah tell me about it, but at least there's no hale here." Geoff shuddered at the memory "What happened with you there again?"
"I was supposed to be left alone in the woods for six hours, but I got scared and ran away when I saw some kind of monster… which turned out to just be Cody after he got blown up by a garbage time bomb. Thanks a ton for that Chris."
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Meanwhile, in the race to Dracula's castle…
"Come on skinny white boy, pick a lane and stick with it!" Leshawna held her breath in as she rushed past the other teams and moved to the front of the pack, with Trent trying to catch up with her, leaving him just behind the Ice Dancers.
"Oh sorry about that pretty boy, I didn't see you there!" Josee suddenly gave a wicked smirk as she shoved Trent back, sending him tumbling down the pathway and crashing into a few of the other teams in the process.
"Oh that is it you little white (bleep), you are SO going down!" Leshawna promptly resorted to tackling the Ice Dancers in a fit of anger, sending all of them tumbling back down the path they came.
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Meanwhile, on the second flight…
"So you guys said you do a fashion blog together?" as the second flight continued making its way to Transylvania, Carrie was passing the time by making small talk with some of the other teams, in this case the Fashion Bloggers "No way that is so cool, so which one of you guys stared the whole thing in the first place?"
"I did." Jen and Tom answered simultaneously, only to pause and then end up looking at each other with a sense of defiance "No, I did. I did. I did! I did!"
"...Oh boy." Carrie promptly slumped back down into her seat and spared a quick nervous glance over in the direction of Devin "I think I might have just hit a sensitive topic."
"Eh, don't worry about it too much homie." Devin patted her on the shoulder, causing her to blush heavily, not that he noticed "If the friendship they have going on is anything like what you and me have, they'll work through it easily enough."
"Yeah I guess, but still…" Carrie spared a quick nervous glance back towards where the Fashion Bloggers were still arguing.
"Okay okay, let's ust get this straight." Jen held up a hand to shut Tom up for the moment "You were the one to type it up yeah, but it was my idea to do the blog to begin with, so if anything I was the creator and you were more like, well like a secretary."
"I'm sorry, do you wanna run that by me again?" Tom shot a salty look in her direction "You so did NOT just demote me to a secretary of all things."
"I'm just telling it like it is."
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Meanwhile, at the castle…
"Sha-BAM!" Lightning screeched to a halt in front of the castle, where he found the Don Box waiting for them "Lightning strikes, that shows all the other losers!"
"Something seems peculiar about this." Cameron climbed off of his place on Lightning's back and frowned in thought "I was certain that the Goths were ahead of us."
"Who cares where those freaky German clowns are, Lightning's got a race to win and ain't nobody or nothing gonna get in the way of that!" Lightning promptly snatched a tip from the Don Box and read it out loud "It's an All In challenge!"
"That means we have to do it together, which means you have to let me help."
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"For this all In Challenge, each team has to enter the castle of Dracula himself and locate an empty coffin for them to use. Whichever member of each team took the tip from the Don Box will then have to drag the coffin to the graveyard with the other member of their team inside it, before they tip it into an open grave. Yeah I know, it's even more creepy than it sounds. Anyway, you have to complete this task, and then speak with the local grave digger to get your next tip. Also as a word of warning, the teammate inside the coffin isn't allowed to get out or help in any way, shape or form, or it will result in a penalty."
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Back with the quarreling teams…
"Will you get off me you crazy (bleep)?!" Josee tried to free herself of Leshawna's grip, though she was having little success in that regard "You're making both of us fall behind!"
"Forget it you skinny white (bleep), I ain't letting go until you do!" Leshawna snapped at her and tightened her grip.
"You let go first!"
"There's gonna be a cold day in hell before that happens!"
All the while, Trent and Jacques just shared a look from where they were watching the exchange unfold, and they both let out a sigh "See, it's stuff like this that makes me think I need to reevaluate how I make decisions in my life."
"Oh yeah, tell me about it." Jacques muttered "Here I thought I was going to reach a point in my life where it didn't have to revolve around sequins and blade sharpeners."
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"As half of the Performers and Ice Dancers play around in the mud, and subsequently fall behind most of the other teams, the second flight arrives in Romania carrying the last seven teams. This means that the race for first place is about to begin."
"Come on, let's go!" Jay and Mickey followed the rest of the teams out of the airport and towards where the Don Box was located, only to stop in their tracks when they reached the outside and heard an ominous howling coming from the distance "Oh… Oh boy."
"You guys okay?" Devin shot a raised eyebrow at the two of them.
"Yeah yeah we're fine, it's just… We know that vampires and the like aren't real or anything, it's not like we're a couple of scared little kids or anything. But with that being said, werewolves are definitely a different story."
"Uh…"
"Yeah, and if they can smell fear then that means I'm in deep trouble." Mickey could only shudder at the thought "I'm doused 24/7 in a pool of pure unyielding terror."
"...Hang in there little buddies, it gets better." Devin awkwardly patted Mickey on the shoulder, then looked over to where Carrie held their travel tip in her hand, and he subsequently took off towards the castle alongside her, with most of the teams rushing off alongside them trying to get ahead of one another.
Jen and Tom however, they stayed behind the others for the moment, still caught in the midst of their argument "Okay okay, let's just hurry and get to the castle."
"Yeah I know, that's what the tip said." Tom pointed out, his tone flat "Or is that another idea that the two of you wanted to take credit for?"
"Are you seriously starting this right now?"
"This got started way before now girlfriend."
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Meanwhile, inside the castle…
"Okay, so get a load of this one." by this point, Geoff and Bridgette had started making their way through the castle alongside the Sisters, the former happily engaged in conversation with Kitty "So this one time awhile back, we had this massive pool party, and then me and my buddy Jay decided to go and take our buddy's lawn and replant it in the school foyer."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's super interesting." Emma's tone was laced with sarcasm, earning a quick look from Bridgette.
"No no, but it was so awesome!"
"Yeah I bet, so what happened next?" asked Kitty.
"Jay said we oughta make a golf course out of it, so we put a cup and flag on it and actually got to put a few rounds before we got caught. The principal was so mad I thought that vein his neck was gonna explode like a water balloon, and he gave us the longest detention in school history! I think they even put it in a book somewhere."
"Yeah okay, that's all the bro talk I can take without losing too many brain cells." Emma then proceeded to ruin the moment "I think that from here on out our teams should split up. Kitty and I will keep going down this hall, and then you and your girlfriend can… well the two of you can just go away."
"Hey rad idea dudette, that way we can cover more ground! If we find the coffins then I'll call you with a secret signal, so basically I'll just squawk like this bird one of my brothers likes to ride around, and then we'll let you know where we are!"
"...Yeah sure, whatever you need to tell yourself."
"Hey wait hold on, I gotta get a picture!" Kitty suddenly pulled Geoff and Bridgette in, and then she proceeded to take a selfie "That makes two more Total Drama characters I've met."
"Yeah Kitty, keep telling everyone that."
"I told you a dozen times, I did meet DJ on that train and we totally outran that army of fangirls that wanted to force themselves on him!"
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Meanwhile, outside the castle…
"Oh yeah, finally we're getting back into this!" Leshawna rushed up to the Don Box and snatched a tip from inside it "I still say that we could've gotten here a lot sooner if that skinny white chick just let the hell go of me a lot sooner."
"Are you freaking kidding me right now?" Trent shot a dull and annoyed look over at her "You do realize you're the one that went and attacked her in a blind rage right?"
"Hey she went and shoved you back, I was defending you!" the dull look she was receiving only intensified "Alright fine, but you know me. If I feel something then I go with it, I was feeling mad so I went with it."
"Yeah I figured that out about you a long time ago, like the time you tried to run over Heather with an ATV."
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Meanwhile, inside the castle…
"Okay, remember that you're the one who has to go in." Junior gestured for Dwayne to enter their wooden coffin as he shut the door to it "And you're not allowed to get out or do anything while you're in there, or else we'll end up getting a penalty." and so he moved around and started to push the coffin, or rather he was trying to and struggling visibly.
"Well now, look who's got some spunk." Dwayne let out a chuckle from inside the coffin "You know I have to admit, I'm loving all of the father and son time we're getting. You really are the best son, you know that right? I mean sometimes I think you're almost too obedient, so I really want to get the chance to teach you that part of growing up is being able to think for yourself, and deciding what rules can and can't be ignored?"
"Wait, rules can be ignored?"
"Some of them yeah, given the right circumstances."
"So that means I can ignore my curfew?"
"Well no, you can't just-"
"I can drive your car?"
"You better not touch my-"
"I can quit school?"
"No no way, we'd never let you-"
"I can get a tattoo?"
"That's it, you're grounded!"
"As the storm rages outside the castle, the question still remains. Will any of these teams manage to even make it out of Dracula's castle alive, let alone make it to the graveyard? If I had to take a guess, I'd say at least half of them are doomed. But in any case, the only way to know for sure is to tune in when we come back, right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"
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"The race continues through Dracula's caslte in Transylvania, as most of the teams struggle with their efforts to complete the first challenge. Some more visibly than others."
"Sha-one, sha-two, sha-one, sha-two…" Lightning took a quick breath as he rushed towards the graveyard carrying the coffin (with Cameron inside of it) over his head "Now this is exactly what the Lightning needs, no stupid teams or weaklings or losers holding him back. All Lightning needs is to win, and show everybody what the Lightning can do when he strikes!"
"Yes, you've already said that numerous times." Cameron let out a series of groans as he got thrashed around from his place inside the coffin, then glanced at the camera attached to the lid of the coffin "Evidently his competitive streak has only grown worse, and yet I can't stop myself from hypothesizing that there's a deeper reason for it than he's letting on."
"Sha-BAM!"
"Come on you stupid coffin, get moving!" it was at this moment that Josee came rushing onto the scene, flipping the coffin (with Jacques inside) forward continuously in a very rough fashion, earning a series of loud groans and yelps of pain.
"Oh sacre cerise, what is it with you?!" Jacques let out a loud groan amidst the loud thuds of the coffin being flipped over and over again "I know it's a race and all, but with the way you're tossing me around in here, I swear I'm going to end up covered in bruises! That's not good for any of our fans, or for my face!"
"Really, covered in bruises huh?" Josee stopped flipping the coffin, stood it upright and opened it up to shoot a terrifying glare at Jacques "When you say covered in bruises, do you mean like if someone, say your partner in this case, were to hold you over their head and then end up dropping you flat on your face in a stadium filled with thousands of people, all of which was on the single most important day of your life? Is that the kind of covered in bruises you were talking about?"
"Um…"
"That's what I thought, now shut up so we can get moving!"
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Meanwhile, in the castle…
"Woah…" Ennui and Crimson looked at the coffin in front of them, and began studying the interior with intent fascination "Vintage hexagon oakwood with corinthian leather interior. I can see that Vlad's taste was remarkable."
"What else should you expect from our ancestor?" Crimson promptly leapt into the coffin and braced herself just as the door to it shut "Now take me to the grave digger."
"As you wish." Ennui started dragging the coffin away, though as he did he glanced at some of the others scattered around the room "Modern coffins can be so flimsy compared to the masterpieces of the olden days."
"When I die, I want to be buried in a coffin that was made during the plague, because the people of that era definitely knew how to make a coffin last."
"It's pathetic how true that is."
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Meanwhile, in another part of the castle…
"Oh god, it burns so bad…" Mickey let out a loud groan as he carried the coffin on his back, slowly inching forward one step at a time "My legs are cramping… my hands hurt… I just… I just can't do it…" and then his strength finally gave out as the coffin fell on top of him, crushing him with its weight.
"Oh boy, this isn't good." Jay let out a sigh as he looked up at the camera in the coffin "The way I see it, if Mickey couldn't do it then I probably wouldn't be able to either. If this is where it's gonna end for us, then I guess that's all there is to it." it was at this moment that a loud squawking noise got their attention, freaking both of them out pretty thoroughly "Is that… is that a werewolf? Oh god we're gonna die, get me out of here!"
"No way, I'm not leaving you behind like this brother!" Mickey gritted his teeth, and in a shocking turn of events he managed to lift the coffin over his head… for about three seconds, before it ended up crushing him again.
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Meanwhile, in another part of the castle…
"Okay here's a coffin, I'll just get in and-" Bridgette was cut short when she heard Geoff start to squawk loudly "What are you doing?"
"Using our secret signals to call the Sisters over here." Geoff went on to squawk a few more times, only to give up after that "Huh, I guess they can't hear us."
"This castle is pretty big, they're probably too far away."
"Yeah I guess. Alright babe, go ahead and get in."
"Gotcha." Bridgette promptly leapt into the coffin, and the door was shut behind her "Now you just have to take me out to the graveyard."
"Got it babe, just let me get a grip and-" Geoff was cut off by a series of loud screams, courtesy of the Sisters as they fell through a trap door into an open coffin next to him "Oh wait nevermind babe, I guess they could hear us after all. Hey guess what guys, we got a coffin for ya."
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Meanwhile, at the graveyard…
"Finally, just a little bit further and-" Josee continued flipping Jacques forward as they entered the graveyard, only to stop when they found that the Stepbrothers were already there "What the- I thought the two of you were on the second flight."
"We were, but I found a shortcut because I'm so awesome." Chet gave a smirk as he roughly shoved his coffin into an open grave, with Josee following his lead "So where's this dude we're supposed to find?"
"You mean the grave digger? I think that's him over there." Josee jerked a thumb over at the creepy old guy with pale skin, a hunch and a shovel a short distance away.
"Well he doesn't look like the ice cream man."
"The ice cream man is here? Where is he?!" Owen started thrashing around from his place inside the coffin "Come on come on, let me out of here!"
"Yeah hold up big guy, let me get right on that." Noah promptly shoved Owen's coffin into the open grave in front of him, and he gave a satisfied smile "Not gonna lie, that actually felt a lot more satisfying than it probably should've."
"Come on already dipshit, we gotta go!" Lorenzo picked himself up out of the grave, only to be startled by the grave digger holding up a knife to them, scaring both him and Chet into falling into the grave, but he soon accepted the tip being held on the end of the knife "Oh, thanks for that one man." and then he read the tip out loud "Okay, it says we have to ride on horseback until we get to the Romanian Gymnastics Training Center and find the Don Box with the next tip. Wait a second, it said horseback?" he shared a quick look with Chet, and then the two of them looked over to see a large number of angry horses in the distance, complete with ominous lightning flashing behind them in the distance "Oh."
"...Okay not gona lie, that's kind of freaky." Chet shuddered as he pulled himself out of the open grave, with Lorenzo following right behind him, but then we gave a grin "But what's so freaking awesome is that we're in first place!"
"Yeah tell me about it, the last time I won anything was that medal for being awesome!"
"Hey you didn't win that, you stole it from my cereal box!"
"Stop ruining my moment you piece of (bleep)!" and then the two of them tackled each other back into the open grave and started beating the crap out of each other.
It was at this moment that Owen picked himself out of the grave and looked around "Seriously though, where's the ice cream guy?"
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Meanwhile, inside the castle…
"Well here's the coffin." Tom opened the door to the coffin in front of him, still in the middle of his argument with Jen as he had been over the course of the challenge "You know I really do hope that there's enough room in there for your ridiculously giant head and all of the great ideas you keep in there, supposedly."
"Yeah well that's hysterical, because frankly I think it's going to be nice to have you carry me for a change." Jen rolled her eyes as she stepped into the coffin, the door being slammed shut once she was in it.
"The way I see it there's only one change in this scenario in comparison to the norm, and it's that this time you're in a coffin." Tom's look turned smug as he shoved the coffin over, sending it crashing to the ground with a loud thud.
"You totally did that on purpose!"
"What's your point?"
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Meanwhile, outside the graveyard…
"Here it is." Ennui continued dragging the coffin, with Crimson inside it, towards the graveyard, but he came to a stop at the entrance "Now for an open-"
"Stop." this was when the door to the coffin opened, and Crimson suddenly rose up from within it like a vampire, in a very ominous fashion "I know it's against the rules, but this might be the only true chance you get. Well, the only chance you'll get while you're alive that is. Get in the coffin and see for yourself."
"...Okay then." and so Ennui hopped into the coffin himself, and the door promptly slammed shut in an instant.
"Well?"
"It's so worth it."
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Meanwhile, inside the graveyard…
"Sha-bam, thanks creepy Igor dude!" Lightning shoved the coffin into the open grave, then received the tip from the grave digger "We would've been here sooner, but this place was further from the creepy castle than the Lightning thought it was gonna be."
"I did offer directions for the fastest way to the graveyard." Cameron pointed out from where he was climbing his way out of the grave, only to be met with a loud scoff.
"Yeah right, Lightning don't need the help of no braniac to take the win! Lightning doesn't need anyone but Lightning, and everyone's gonna see it soon enough!" and so he promptly ran off towards where the horses were being kept, leaving Cameron behind in the process.
"Lightning wait!" Cameron tried to rush after him, only to end up sliding back down into the open grave instead "Oh come on!"
"Hey there, you alright little dude?"
Cameron looked up to see Geoff holding out a hand to him, which he accepted, and he was promptly yanked out of the grave and back onto solid ground "Yes I'm fine, but I appreciate the assistance, so thank you Geoff."
"No worries little dude." Geoff gave him a grin and patted himself on the back, then glanced back at where Bridgette was receiving the tip from the grave digger "I gotta admit, the way that dude snuck up on us like that was totally epic."
"He does seem to have a habit of that."
"Yeah, but nothing too big. Anyway the Sisters took the first one, so me and Bridge are gonna go and catch up with them in a second. What about your partner?"
"With Lightning, partner can be a bit of an operative word, especially now." Cameron looked over to where Lightning was trying to mount one of the horses, only to end up getting kicked in the face and sent crashing into a tree "I'm accustomed to his arrogance from our time together on Revenge of the Island, but his constant obsession with claiming victory, and this might be a bit out of line for me, but his generally unpleasant demeanor a majority of the time. I can't begin to fathom what it is that's making him like this in the first place."
"Huh." Geoff frowned slightly as he glanced over at Lightning "You know, maybe he thinks he has to prove himself."
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it. The dude's a jock right?"
"He is an athlete, he's mentioned it a large number of times."
"Yeah but the thing is, guys like that, they can get under a ton of pressure."
"Are you speaking from experience?"
"Not really, one of my brothers was kind of like that since he's on a pro hockey team, but all the stress and stuff really got to him after awhile, trying to prove that he could do anything and all that and show that he's the best. He thought it was what people wanted from him." Geoff's face then fell slightly "I know that part pretty well myself. You know how me and Bridge used to host the aftermath for Total Drama right?"
"Yes."
"Well the thing is, it was cool and all at first, but I got my head so far up my… well let's just say hat, and started saying and doing all sorts of really nasty stuff to my friends, because I thought it was what the people wanted from me. Lucky for me I had Bridge and a few others to help bring me back down to Earth."
"How did they do it?"
"The strapped me to an electric chair and fried the hell out of me."
"...Oh."
"It worked though, now I'm back to being me, and there's no way I'm ever gonna go down that road again."
"I… see." Cameron frowned slightly, then glanced back over at Lightning "So you believe that what Lightning needs to free him of these habits is someone to, bring him back down to Earth as you say?"
"Hey, it couldn't hurt right? Maybe all he really needs is somebody in his corner. Go ahead and give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen right?" Geoff gave a grin and patted Cameron on the back, then rushed off to find Bridgette.
Cameron on the other hand, his expression turned more thoughtful "Perhaps I should try and have a word with him soon."
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Meanwhile, with the frontrunner teams…
"There it is, I can see the training center!" Lorenzo and Chet continued riding through the dark forest on horseback, with the training center lying not far in front of them, only for them to be taken aback by the sight of the Ice Dancers managing to overtake them, giving their creepy smiles as they did so, with even the horse doing the same as them "Damn the others are right, that really is creepy as all hell."
"Creepiness doesn't have any meaning when in the face of victory!" Josee was the first one to leap off the back of their horse and gracefully landed in front of the Don Box, where she pulled out a tip and read it out loud "It's a Botch or Watch challenge, and you can be sure that this is going to guarantee our victory!"
"Why do you say that?" Jacques looked over the tip himself and let out a squeal of joy "We're doing gymnastics!"
"The gold is officially ours."
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"Yep that's right, this one is all about gymnastics, nastics that take place in a gym. Whichever member of each team didn't face the mitt full of bullet ants in Brazil is going to have to perform two gymnastic feats. First they will have to walk along a balance beam, and land a split jump at the center. I was on my high school team, so I could do that pretty easily, and it totally never involved me getting hit in the crotch. Second, they will have to complete a flip over a vaulting horse, which I can totally do without getting a football to the crotch. Once they manage to do both of these well enough to get a thumbs up from the local judge by the name of Bela Karakoe, you'll probably know him as the guy who hates everything, and it's a foot race down the other road into the forest, leading to today's Chill Zone. As always, the last team to arrive could be cut from the race entirely. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go see if I can get some ice."
"Alright Bun Bun, give me the strength I need." Josee dealt a quick kiss to her lucky rabbit's foot, then proceeded to complete the balance beam and vaulting horse challenges with ease, quickly earning a thumbs up "And just like that, first place here we come!" and so she took off out the door and onto the forest path, with Jacques following right behind her "Of course it's only natural that I have a talent for gymnastics, it's actually not that different from ice dancing. The only difference is that in our sport, you wear knives under the soles of your feet and there isn't any soft padding to land on if you fall, nothing but a rock hard layer of solid ice."
"Oh for crying out loud!" Jacques let out a loud groan of exasperation "I told you that I was sorry dozens of times!"
"Sorry doesn't get rid of a silver medal, or the scar on the back of my head! I wear my hair like this for a reason Jacques!"
That was more than enough to shut him up.
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"The race for first place is about to come to an end, but the race to not come in last place is about to begin."
"Well it took you long enough, and thanks for making me break three nails." Jen let out a growl as she climbed her way out of the open grave and shot a dirty look at Tom "You were taking breaks every ten feet, it wouldn't kill you to try working out more."
"Or here's a thought, maybe you could try and do a little something called laying off the bread a little bit." Tom was met with a loud gasp.
"Yeah well here's a little bit of truth for you, fez hats are stupid and ridiculous and you'll never be able to make them popular!"
"I can counter that with two points. One, they will be hugely popular among the cult of Doctor Who fans. Two, they have a better chance of being a thing than that time you tried to make plaid leg warmers happen." Tom was met with another loud gasp.
"Why you little- No, I can't even." and so she promptly stormed off.
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Meanwhile, with other teams…
"Well this is a load of crap." Leshawna let out a groan as she was pulled out of the open grave by the arm, courtesy of Trent "Somehow we end up in the bottom four again, I thought we were better than that! Tell me we're better than that white boy!"
"We're better than that." Trent noted dryly, then let out a sigh "But you shouldn't stress about this too much."
"How can I not? We came into this to win, and more importantly we're staying in it to beat the hell out of the Ice Dancers."
"And we're gonna, but the only thing that really matters right now is that we're not the team that comes in last place. Just stay focused on the task at hand."
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Oh joy, here they come." Don was quick to brush aside the sarcasm as he watched the first team reach the Carpet of Completion "Congratulations to the Ice Dancers, the two of you have just arrived in-"
"First place!" Josee promptly cut him off as she and Jacques started smiling and waving at the crowds that weren't actually there "We're still the champions over all of these peons."
"...Yeah good to know, now get off the carpet."
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"The race for first place has officially come to an end, but the ending of one race leads to the start of another, this one being the race to not come in last."
"Oh joy…" Noah rolled his eyes as he watched various teams trying (and failing) to complete the gymnastics challenge "Watching numerous people try to be even remotely athletic, only to end up making complete and utter fools out of themselves. Maybe Cody was the smart one here when he said no in doing this race."
"Yeah well, I say this challenge has Owen written all over it!" Owen charged forward and leapt onto the springboard in front of him, only to be met with it failing to spring "Hey come on, what gives?"
"What do you think? It's because you're the size of a baby whale, but at least they don't eat as much as-" Noah's snarky comeback was quickly cut short by something catching his eye "Okay, wow."
"Come on already, move it you tub of lard!" as it turns out, Emma was charging forward as she leapt over Owen in place of the vaulting horse, flipping gracefully through the air and landing on the matt, receiving a thumbs up from the judge, which prompted her to take off out the door without a single word, with Kitty following close behind her.
"Huh… I think I just learned what it's like to get turned on by a girl." Noah unconsciously took a few steps forward, only to end up being crushed by Owen "Ow…" and yet they both received a thumbs up from the judge "Yeah, good to know… I'll get moving once I can feel anything below my neck…"
"Well… at least you know he's not doing it on purpose." Bridgette cringed as she watched Noah being crushed by Owen, then glanced back to where Chet was doing the vaulting challenge with surprising levels of gracefulness "Huh, you know he's pretty good at that. I'm impressed."
"Yeah sure." Lorenzo let out a loud scoff "The only reason for that is because he does rhythmic gymnastics, but I say that if he had anything like real guts, then he'd drop that crap from the very second he grew any brain cells and signed up for my class."
"And what would that be."
"The ancient art of karate!"
"Huh. You know that's cool too. You should be grateful for that yourself." she was met with a raised eyebrow from Lorenzo.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because you guys bring different skill sets to the table, and when you combine them together it can make you both into that much stronger of a team."
"...A better team?" Lorenzo went wide eyed for a second, but then he let out a scoff "You think we're actually a good team? Not a chance, as if that could ever happen."
"Hey get over here loser, I'm done!" Chet barked at him "Are you coming or what?"
"Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm coming!"
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"And here come some more teams." Don counted off the next two teams as they arrived at the carpet, first the Reality TV Pros, followed by the Sisters "Owen and Noah you're here in second place, and that leaves Emma and Kitty in third."
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"Now the race to get into the top three is over, but now the race is to come in anything but last place… though some teams are struggling more than others."
"Sha-bam, time for the Lightning to strike!" Lightning leapt onto the balance beam and landed the split jump… or tried to anyways. In reality, he landed on his crotch and hit the ground with a thud, resulting in a very loud crunching noise.
"That… cannot be healthy for anyone to endure." Cameron cringed as he watched Lightning lie on the ground in pain, then glanced over at the camera "Evidently his attempts to claim victory and overcome the adversity in these challenges are great enough to make him disregard even the most grueling physical pain. Perhaps Geoff was right about what he said before. Maybe I should try and confront him about this. Say Lightning-"
"Lightning is about to strike!" Lightning bolted upright and leapt back onto the balance beam, only to end up slipping and falling flat on his face.
"...Perhaps I should give him a moment." Cameron looked down at him, then watched as various other teams attempted to complete the challenge, though some of them (Adversity Twins and Best Friends in particular) were struggling.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"And here they come." Don continued counting off the various teams as they arrived at the Chill Zone, starting with the Stepbrothers "Fourth place!"
Then came Mother & Daughter.
"Fifth place!"
The Goths.
"You guys are here in sixth place, or rather you would be in sixth place if you hadn't broken the rules with the coffin. I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ten minute penalty." Don was met with the sound of a loud buzzard "Now step aside over there."
"Totally worth it." was all Crimson said as she and Ennui stepped to the side.
"...Yeah. Anyway, here's the next batch of teams." Don looked over to see Father & Son reach the carpet "You're in sixth place!"
The Performers.
"Seventh place!"
The Surfers.
"Eighth place!"
The Rockers.
"Ninth place!"
The Best Friends.
"Tenth place! There are only three other teams still out there, and now the Goths are starting to look a bit nervous." Don looked over to where the Goths looked as emotionless as usual, and he let out a groan of frustration.
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Meanwhile, at the training center…
"Look out below!" Jay was left sailing through the air but landed on his feet, earning a shrug and a thumbs up from the judge "Yes, that's awesome!" and so he and
"About time that loser is done, now it's Lightning's turn!" Lightning watched as the Adversity Twins rushed off, then burst forward towards the springboard and tried to jump on it, only to end up hitting it with his face and getting sent crashing to the ground "Dammit, the stupid jump thing must be broken!"
"You realize that yelling at yourself isn't going to help you." Cameron pointed out.
"Well the Lightning's gotta do something, he ain't just gonna sit on the sidelines like some little coward and do nothing!" Lightning let out a growl as he picked himself up "Ain't nobody ever gonna tell Lightning he ain't worth nothing."
"I see." Cameron frowned slightly "This might be overstepping boundaries with this topic, but it seems to me that you don't enjoy pushing yourself to claim victory as hard as you do."
"Yeah well what do you know smart guy? So what if I… I…" Lightning was about to go off once again, but this time he stopped and let out a sigh as he sat back down "Fine, okay? Lightning hates the… I mean I hate it. All of it. The football, the showing off, the bicep kissing, I (bleep) hate all of it now!"
"You… You do?"
"I didn't at first, but it… I'm just sick of it. I liked it at first yeah, but now it's like the only reason my dad even looks at me."
"I did notice that your father seemed rather invested from that one conversation I saw you have with him back during the finale of Revenge of the Island."
"What you saw was one of the good ones. Football, sports, being the best at every sport there is and junk, that's all he ever talks about anymore… it's the only thing he really talks about ever since my mom died. I don't even like it anymore, I haven't for awhile. The only reason I do it now is to make him happy, and it ain't even working anymore. Just because he doesn't have that sort of life anymore…"
"You feel as if he's trying to take yours away to make up for it?" Cameron was met with silence, and that was all the confirmation he needed "My father passed when I was young, so I can't really remember him that well. Perhaps that's why my mom was so overprotective of me."
"Yeah well, at least she cares. It must be nice."
"It is, but I do admit it was a bit aggravating at times. But the thing is…" Cameron sat down and put a hand on Lightning's shoulder as he offered a small smile "I don't want to be angry. I don't believe you want to be angry either."
"I don't wanna be angry… not anymore. But I don't know what to do."
"I think I do." Cameron stood back up "If I recall correctly, the main reason why you and I had entered this race was to show the world that with my intelligence and your physical prowess, we would be unstoppable. I believe it's time for us to live up to that claim, but we do it in a way that the two of us are satisfied with. Do you accept?" he held out a hand.
"...Sha-yeah, the Lightning is in!" Lightning gave a grin as he accepted the hand, only to end up yanking Cameron back to the ground "Sorry. But yeah, we gonna show them what Brains & Brawn are made of, but this time we gonna do it right!"
"Right, you just have to-"
"Coming through!" Tom suddenly rushed past the two of them and leapt off the springboard and into the air, only to end up crashing into the light fixture above him, resulting in him being heavily electrocuted and sent crashing to the ground in a charred heap, earning a thumbs down from the judge as an extra kick in the teeth.
"...Do that. You're still required to do that."
"Ow… Why does everything smell like copper?"
"Oh my god, Tom!" Jen was quick to rush over to his side, flipping over the vaulting horse as she did so, and she landed next to him "Tom talk to me, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just… a little bit charred, and some bruised pride." Tom let out a sigh "I'm sorry, I know I pretty much suck at gymnastics. You know better than anyone that my greatest strengths mainly lie in coordinating clothing. If you were the one doing this then we'd already be done, you're so good at these kinds of things." he was promptly pulled into a hug by Jen.
"Hey come on Tom, you can be great at just about everything you put your mind to. I mean so great that it gets kind of annoying sometimes, but still great."
"You can be so sweet sometimes." Tom shook his head a few times and promptly pulled himself back to his feet "I promise I won't let you down, I can do this."
"I know you can, because I have faith in you." to prove this point, she then put her own fez hat on her head.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"You guys are in eleventh place." Don counted off the Adversity Twins once they arrived at the Chill Zone, only for them to be scared off by the sound of howling in the distance "And then there were three. That leaves the Fashion Bloggers, Brains & Brawn, and the Goths, who still have a full minute left on their penalty."
"Huh." Crimson and Ennui shared a look with each other from their place on the sidelines "Even if we do get kicked off, this will still be the greatest night of my life."
"The sensation I felt from being in that coffin…" Ennui actually broke a smile "I don't think I've ever felt so alive before."
"...Wow, they actually showed emotion for once." Don shuddered at the thought "Honestly, it's really unsettling. I guess it's like the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for."
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Meanwhile, at the training center…
"Okay, time to give it my all…" Tom took a breath, then charged forward, did a flip over the vaulting horse and landed on the matt below him, receiving a thumbs up from the judge "Yes, I did it!"
"Great job Tom, now come on we gotta go!" Jen quickly grabbed Tom by the hand, and the two of them rushed out the door.
"Sha-bam!" Lightning landed on the matt a few seconds after the Fashion Bloggers left, only to end up being stuck in it "Uh… give me a second and then we'll get going!"
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And now for the final race to the finish line…
"Come on, we have to go!" Tom and Jen continued running along the path through the forest covered in darkness, though as they did they continued to sort out their problems "And another thing, the fashion blog was your idea, it's yours and that's all there is to it!"
"Yeah but it's not, you made so many great changes to it." Jen assured him "If anything it's more of yours than it is mine."
"Okay we could go on about this for like an hour, but we do have a race to win, so how about we just compromise and say, it's ours."
"Yeah, yeah I like that one, I really do."
"And so do I. I always wanna work with you Jen!"
"I feel the same way Tom! If there's anyone I were gonna be here with, I'm glad it's you!"
"And that goes both ways!"
"Come on little buddy, Ultimate Duo is coming in hot!" this was when Lightning came running up behind them, carrying Cameron on his shoulders.
"I don't get it, he's carrying another guy on his shoulders! How is he so fast?"
"What are you kidding? Carrying the smart guy like this is about the same as carrying a piece of paper!" and on that note, Lightning promptly sped past the two of them "Awesome fez hats by the way!"
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Okay maybe not a soaf, but what about a couple of bean bag chairs or-" Don was cut off by the sound of a buzzard, and he quickly turned to face the Goths "Your penalty just expired, and that leaves the two of you in twelfth place."
"Woohoo." on that unenthusiastic note, Crimson and Ennui just walked away from the scene without showing any signs of emotion.
"Oh joy, they're still in it. Speaking of which…" Don looked over to the next team that arrived on the scene "Congratulations you two, you're in thirteenth place, and that means you're still in the race."
"Yes!" Lightning caught Cameron in a quick high five, only to end up knocking him off his back and leaving him to fall to the ground "Uh… oops." he quickly picked up Cameron and dragged him away "Seriously though, you're about as light as a piece of paper."
"And now for the part of the job that's actually kind of heavy." Don looked over as the Fashion Bloggers finally arrived "I'm sorry, but the two of you are out of the race." he was met with a set of groans "But if it's any consolation, these are very in." he gestured to the fez hat he was wearing, earning a few small smiles.
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Now for the outro of the losing team…
"Well I don't know about how, but I'm honestly content." Tom glanced over at Jen as the two of them walked into the dark night "I wouldn't call this a failure in any way, the two of them so kicked some butt out there."
"Oh trust me, you're not gonna hear me object to that." Jen let out a scoff "We nearly died god only knows how many times out there, like on that skywalk and in that geyser field, or up on that vine in Brazil."
"But we totally managed to do it, so I say yay us."
"For sure. Doing a race like this serves as a huge test of how strong your friendship is, and I think we did great."
"I'd take being friends with you over a million dollars any day."
"Absolutely." it was then that the two of them noticed a large swarm of bats coming towards them from behind "Huh, you know there sure are a lot of bats coming out all of a sudden."
"Yeah, but why are they…" and then the bats started swooping in towards them, leaving the two of them to scream in terror.
"Oh god it's the fez hats, they want the hats!"
"Well I told you before they would be popular!"
A/N:
I'm well aware that the Fashion Bloggers are one of the more popular teams that went out in the first half of the race, and likely one of the most popular teams of the entire race, and there are plenty of fics where they go pretty far. The most notable of these is Ridonculous Race Underdogs by Animation Adventures, which is a really good story (even if it is unfinished) and I totally recommend you check it out. But they had to go, it was either going to be them or Brains & Brawn, and if this chapter is any indication, their story arc is just getting started, the same with the much loved romance between Noah and Emma.
As far as new character interactions go, they mostly revolve around Geoff and Bridgette of the Surfers hanging around other teams, such as the Sisters, or to be more specific, just Kitty (which also references a certain event that took place in my BFG's World Tour fic, for those of you who read it). Another one is Geoff giving some advice to Cameron on how to handle Lightning's competitive nature and lack of regard for working with others.
Speaking of which, this chapter also demonstrates what I've sort of been leading up to until this point, at least as far as Brains & Brawn goes, or rather Lightning goes in this case. Sort of like how Ridonculous Race focuses more on Noah than Owen, I'm aiming to have more focus on Lightning than Cameron, as far as character arcs go anyway. I'm not an athlete myself, but I do understand that they may be under a great deal of pressure, forcing them to try and compensate for it on some level, which in this case, leads to Lightning showing his current personality as you've seen up to this point. Plus I was able to include a callback to Geoff's actions during the season 2 aftermath, and how he had learned from that. Some call it derailment, but I call it an opportunity for a learning experience.
Now to close out this chapter, let me just apologize for taking as long as I did to get this one out compared to the others. Aside from working on a few of my other stories, I was mostly lacking motivation to get back to this one, and since I just started a new semester, I had a new schedule that's been a pain to get used to.
Rankings:
Ice Dancers- 1st
Reality TV Pros- 2nd
Sisters- 3rd
Stepbrothers- 4th
Mother & Daughter- 5th
Goths- 12th
Brans & Brawn- 13th
Elimination order:
LARPers - 18th
Tennis Rivals 17th
Geniuses - 16th
Vegans - 15th
Fashion Bloggers- 14th