(Hawaii Honeyruin)
Cody Fanatic: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked the chapter. I'm also kind of surprised that you read my Ridonculous Underdogs story. Looking back, I didn't handle events in that story as well as I could've, so I'm also using this story as a sort of rewrite of that one. In that case I had gotten rid of Cameron and Lightning way too early, so this time I'm going to rectify that. They won't win since I don't like to do repeat finalists, but they'll be around for a good long while.
SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yeah, it was kind of a shame to have to get rid of the Fashion Bloggers so soon, but it had to be done, and I think they went out on pretty good terms. I couldn't resist making a Doctor Who reference when the fezes were brought up, and I can't not see Harold being into it. I actually haven't seen a ton of Doctor Who myself, but I have seen enough to know that when I see a fez, I either think of the Eleventh Doctor or that one episode of Phineas and Ferb. I felt like it only seemed appropriate to reference that one scene with Kitty from A BFG's World Tour, if for no other reason than to reiterate that these stories take place in the same universe. Cameron did finally manage to get through to Lightning, and that was mostly my interpretation of how and why an athlete would act the way Lightning does. Plus you're right about his father, he didn't even seem to acknowledge that Lightning was there. Also, if you could tell me about those stories where Lightning turns over a new leaf, please let me know what they're called. I'd really like to read them myself.
: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Leshawna is pretty much a beast and won't hesitate to go off on someone, so that was pretty much a given. Cody getting Gwen into anime is something that came from my BFG's World Tour fic, but yeah she would be into a lot of the darker stuff. Various reactions to Noah falling in love, that's definitely going to be a sight to behold.
Frosty Wolf: That in itself is a pretty good reason for why Cody would say no to doing a race like this with Noah, and honestly it's not that surprising. As for Lightning, you can like something on your own sure, but if someone keeps forcing you to do it against your wishes, you can grow to hate it pretty fast. I would know from experience. At least it lead to him and Cameron having that moment, and it made for some good character development. Yeah, it was a shame that the Fashion Bloggers had to be the ones to leave, but someone had to go.
Joey Connell: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. It's only right that I clear up any confusion or misconceptions you and the others have. Let me know if you have any other questions.
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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our 14 remaining teams paid a visit to the infamous creepy crib of Count Dracula himself in Transylvania, and it left all of them terrified. Well, almost all of them anyway. Oh yes, the Goths had finally cracked their first smiles, as disturbing as that turned out to be, while other teams began to crack under the pressure, some harder than others. When it was all said and done the Ice Dancers managed to grab first place, and I think that Emma was able to unknowingly catch Noah's heart. Sadly the Fashion Bloggers and Brains & Brawn had some issues to work through, the difference being that Brians & Brawn managed to work through theirs in time, while the Fashion Bloggers ended up being cut from the race. Which team is going to crack under the pressure and fez their way off this week? There's only one way to find out for sure, and you had better hold onto your hats because it's time for… the Ridonculous Race!"
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One intro later…
"And here we are." once the intro had come to an end, Don started off the episode in front of the Chill Zone from the day before "Welcome back to yesterday's Chill Zone in Transylvania, where the first place team from yesterday, in this case the Ice Dancers, is about to pick up the first travel tip of the day."
"And claim the gold once again." in her typical fashion, Josee went up to the Don Box and picked up a tip, and then she read it out loud "It says that we have to take a donkey cart to the airport that's located in Bucharest and fly to… HAWAII!" and for once, their creepy smiles actually turned into genuine ones.
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"Yep you heard the crazy one, this time we're going to the tropical paradise that is Hawaii, which just so happens to be home to beautiful sunshine, ukeleles and shirts that are only meant to be worn in an ironic fashion. Once the teams land, they'll need to find the Don Box stationed outside the airport, and yes it's wearing one of those ironic shirts too. You've got wardrobe to thank for that one. Personally I never really liked it when they dress them up, it just seems so unprofessional to me."
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Now for the first three teams in the first cart…
"Oh wait I know this one, I'm good at this game!" in order to pass the time, Owen had ended up partaking in a game of charades with the Sisters, or really just with Kitty "It's a goal post! No wait, it's a rectangle face? No no no, it's a box of candy!"
"Oh for crying out loud." Josee rolled her eyes in annoyance as she glanced over at Jacques "This is the sort of thing that proves that playing is for little kids that are so weak minded. Us on the other hand, we have to stay focused on the gold at all times."
"I know exactly what you mean." Jacques gave a nod of understanding "I'm even so focused on us winning the race that I haven't washed my boxers since we started the race."
"That's not focused, that's just disgusting on so many levels."
"Oh is that right? Well has it ever occurred to you that maybe some people think that lucky rabbit's foot you carry around is gross?"
"Hey watch it you (bleep), you leave Bun Bun out of this!"
"I will as long as you leave my underwear out of this!"
"Okay, so uh…" Owen and the others glanced over at where the Ice Dancers were arguing, and then he went back to his game of charades with Kitty "Is it a cheesecake?"
"Oh for the love of…" Kitty let out a groan "Okay, I'll give you a hint: Click."
"No wait I've got it for real this time: Exploded chocolate cheesecake!"
"Oh for crying out loud, it's a freaking camera!" Emma finally lost her temper and started snapping at Owen "Seriously, she said click and did the thing with her fingers, so how could you not have figured that out?"
"What? It wasn't that clear to me."
"Seriously, a brain-damaged rodent could've figured it out!" and then she turned to Noah "I have no idea how you manage to put up with this all day?"
"I've learned to tune out anyone that questions me about his eating habits or intellect, after all these years I've determined they're not worth the migraine or-" Noah looked up from his book, then subsequently froze when his gaze landed on Emma "Woah."
"What?"
"Nothing, just… I think just discovered my latent masculinity."
"What? Forget it, I don't wanna know." and then she promptly stormed back over to her side of the wagon.
"And again I say, woah."
"Hey little buddy, you doing okay?" Owen leaned over towards him, his voice low.
"I'm just feeling a little bit off downstairs."
"Oh man, you don't have to… do that sort of thing do you?"
"I don't mean that kind of downstairs, and besides you're a hell of a lot more well known for that than I am, or anyone else on the planet for that matter."
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Meanwhile, with the second cart…
"Oh god you gotta be kidding me!" Chet was left recoiling in disgust as he rode in the next donkey cart with Lorenzo, as well as Father & Son and Mother & Daughter "This donkey reeks almost as bad as Lorenzo's socks!"
"Yeah well guess what dipshit?" Lorenzo shot a smirk at him "I overheard him saying the exact same thing about you."
"So what, I'm supposed to believe you saw a talking donkey? Oh yeah, that's as possible as people actually liking the stuff you put on Instagram."
"Well it must be possible, you're still squawking louder than that stupid bird you keep down in the basement! Oh yeah that's right, let me know when you've got a comeback for that one!"
"How about this for a comeback, you have a face that's even uglier than your ass!"
"Yeah well, you're a tool stool!" and then the two of them started beating the crap out of each other in the way that they usually did.
"Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me." Junior looked back at the Stepbrothers from where he sat at the front of the cart "Seriously, how old do those two have to be?"
"Hey come on son, no need to mind the two of them." Dwayne gave a shrug "I guess there are just some people out there that don't have a solid understanding of how important it is to cherish this kind of quality family time, now isn't that right sporto?"
"Uh… yeah sure dad, whatever you say."
"Now that's my boy."
"Oh my god." Taylor just rolled her eyes "You don't know how lucky you are that you got to do this sort of thing with your dad."
"Hey believe me when I tell you that I'm the lucky one. Still though, I bet getting the chance to do this with your mom must be pretty awesome too though, am I right?"
"Oh please, as if."
"Why, what's wrong with her?" Dwayne was met with a sharp nudge from Junior, and he was quick to correct himself "I mean, why not?"
"Where do I start?"
"It's not really like that." Kelly was quick to interject "The thing about Taylor is that she's always been more of a daddy's girl than anything else."
"Well that's a huge duh if there ever was one. Dadd and I both have a lot in common with each other, like we both love being successful and we both hate avocado."
"I actually like avocado."
"Oh my god mom, stop interrupting me!"
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Meanwhile, in the third cart…
"Oh hells to the yeah, now we're talking for real!" Geoff pumped a fist in excitement as he placed his other arm around Bridgette "First we go to Transylvania, now we're hitting Hawaii itself? Man this race is totally epic!"
"I know what you mean, it's been awhile since we got to go to Hawaii." Bridgette let out a sigh as she leaned into Geoff's embrace "And on the bright side, at least this time we won't have to be stuck with work, and I won't have to spend weeks stuck on a Russian fishing boat after getting myself kidnapped and shipped off to Siberia."
"What are you talking about?" Rock gave a raised eyebrow.
"Oh you didn't see Total Drama World Tour?"
"I usually skipped the aftermaths."
"...Okay, gonna pretend that's not kind of offensive." Bridgette shared a glance with Geoff, then turned back to Rock "See during the Aftermath last season, Blainely sent me to Russia to take her place meeting a superfan, as in she kidnapped me and forced me to go in her place."
"You mean that super high maintenance chick from Celebrity Manhunt that joined the season right before the merge?"
"That's the one. Anyway I met bear over there named Bruno, he's such a sweetie, and he was hurt so I stayed in Siberia to nurse him back to health. But once he was better I couldn't book a flight back home because I only had Blaineley's passport, so me and Bruno were stuck on a Russian fishing boat for weeks until we finally made it to Hawaii."
"I kept getting punched out by the bear too." Geoff muttered "Seriously, you try to reunite with your girl in a tropical paradise, and a bear tries to shove his claws up your-"
"Okay take it easy sweetie, this is a family show remember? Anyway, here's hoping that this time the competition goes a lot better than the last one."
"Well it could've been a lot worse." Trent pointed out "At least we didn't have to run for our lives from a giant volcano or something."
"Yeah fair point, that would've been where I drew the line for Total Drama and competing on any show in general."
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Meanwhile, in another cart…
"You know, he's so cute when he's snoring like that." Carrie looked over at where Devin was in the middle of a nap in their cart, but then the sound of two simultaneous loud sighs quickly drew her attention over to Crimson and Ennui "Are you guys okay?"
"No." Crimson and Ennui shared a look, and then another sigh "To leave a paradise of darkness like Transylvania is bad enough, but to leave it in favor of a tropical paradise full of sunshine and happiness like Hawaii? That's like Hell for us, and not the good kind of Hell either."
"...Well just hang on, I'm sure it will get better." Carrie promptly looked away, and it was pretty clear that she was uncomfortable with that conversation.
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Meanwhile, with the last place team…
"This is a rather… peculiar odor." Cameron cringed as he looked down at the donkey in front of him, and then subsequently recoiled at the stench it was giving off "And to think I was initially led to believe that creatures in other countries, specifically the ones that had not been mutated through exposure to toxic waste, would emit less of an odor."
"Please that ain't nothing, try sitting around in a big sweaty locker room with all the other guys on the team. On both teams actually." Lightning gave a shrug from where he was laying in the cart behind the donkey.
"They made both teams share a locker room? I was led to believe that the teams were meant to have separate ones."
"We were, then something about budget cuts and it was either get rid of one of the locker rooms or the teachers didn't get to keep a snow cone machine in the lounge. Didn't even get to try a snow cone either." Lightning scowled at the memory, but then quickly shook it off "So do we need to talk a game plan or something?"
"If by that you mean a strategy we can use to strengthen our performance in the race, then now would likely be the best time to do so. But first, are you okay? Truly?"
"Honestly… Yeah, I am now anyway. A lot better than I was before." Lightning let out a sigh as he sat back up "I guess I was so busy trying to prove myself to be something else, I sort of lost sight of who I really was for real. But that's over now. For now, Brains & Brawn are winning this race, and we're gonna do it the right way."
"Sounds like quite the admirable resolve in my opinion. I believe the best way for us to go about this is that I use my intellect to create plans and strategies, and you use your physical prowess to carry them out as effectively as you can."
"Sounds good for me. Time for the Lightning to strike with the power of friendship!" he was met with an odd look "What, no good?"
"That may need to be a work in progress."
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"All of the 13 remaining teams are going to be placed on the same flight to Hawaii, which lasts for about 16 hours, and as is the custom in Hawaii, upon their arrival, the teams are each greeted with a lovely necklace made up entirely of local flowers. Some are less appreciative of it than the rest of them."
"Uh, hi there, how's it going?" Jay and Mickey were the first ones to make it out of the airport, only to be met with a local the local holding up two leis made of flowers for them "Oh wow, so those wouldn't happen to be… orchids?" they were met with a simple nod, and that was enough to prompt them to run away screaming, only for the local to hurl the lei at them like a boomerang as they ran.
"Jay get down!" Mickey jumped in front of Jay and acted as a human shield, taking the lei and leaving him on the ground in a heap "Wow, they uh… they really like to stick to their traditions around here don't they?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean much in the face of death." Jay let out a sigh as he turned back to the local "Sorry but to be fair, I'm severely allergic to orchids. And pretty much any other type of flower in existence."
"Just like I'm allergic to losing!" this was when Emma and Kitty suddenly bolted out of the airport entrance, and the former subsequently shoved Owen and Noah to the ground "Back off you two, this one is ours so you might as well just give up and quit the race now."
"Oh yeah you're asking for it now, prepare to get a butt load of Noah getting smeared all over your face! Wait that came out wrong, but you get the point!" Owen waited a moment for this to happen, but once he didn't he looked over at Noah and saw him staring dumstruck at Emma "Uh Noah, hey little buddy you still with me? I'm guessing that any second now, you're gonna blow up in her face and bam… Dude?"
"...Kitty if you're gonna grab us a tip, then you should've done it already."
"On it." Kitty promptly rushed over to the Don Box and pulled out a tip, and then she proceeded to read it out loud "It's another Botch or Watch challenge, it says that whichever member of each team didn't do the gymnastics challenge in Romania is gonna have to go diving for… wedding rings?"
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"As Kitty stated, this is another Botch or Watch challenge. Whichever member of each team that didn't complete the gymnastics challenge in Transylvania will have to dive into the most popular wedding bay in Hawaii, and retrieve one of the numerous rings we've placed along the bottom, and once they do, they'll swim to the beach at the tip of the bay in order to meet their partner and find the Don Box with their next set of instructions."
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Now back to the frontrunner teams…
"Okay to make a long story short, it says we gotta head to this wedding bay on the beach, now let's go!" and so Kitty and Emma promptly took off towards the site of the challenge.
"Noah come on, we've gotta get moving!" Owen was about to take off running after the Sisters, only to stop when he saw that Noah wasn't following him "Noah? Come on little buddy, you're kind of freaking me out now. Oh wait, is it rabies?" either way, he hoisted Noah over his shoulder and took off running towards the beach.
It was only after this that Jacques and Josee bolted out of the airport and the former prepared to grab a tip from the Don Box, only to stop when he noticed something off with the latter "Josee what's wrong, why aren't you smiling for the cameras?"
"Something doesn't feel right, there's something seriously wrong here." Josee started searching around frantically, only to soon realize what the problem was "Oh no, I lost Bunbun! Where the hell is my Bunbun?!"
"Calm down Josee, it's going to be alright. We don't need any lucky rabbit's foot or anything of the sort to claim the gold. It's like you told me about my underpants, it's nothing but a ridiculous superstition that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Of course I am."
"Okay, then how about this. If you're so confident that I don't need Bunbun, then why don't you go ahead and take off your lucky gitch?"
"...Oh look there's the Don Box, we'd better go and grab our tip." and so he quickly rushed off to get out of the conversation.
"Yeah see, that's exactly what I thought."
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"Now the frontrunner teams are reaching the Hawaiian wedding bay and are getting started on the underwater challenge, though some of them seem to be more apprehensive than the rest of them about it."
"It's alright Kitty, you don't have to be scared." Emma was trying to encourage Kitty to dive into the water, though it was clear she didn't have much patience "And don't forget that we are here to win a race."
"I know I know, it just looks pretty deep." Kitty pointed out.
"Just think of it like it's the pool at nana's condo, the only difference being that the water isn't chlorinated and there's a lot less old people floating around in the water. You ready? Okay good, now get to it!" and so she shoved Kitty into the water, resulting in a loud splash.
"Are you kidding me, you just totally shoved me!"
"I like to think of it as a push of encouragement, and besides you're fine aren't you? Now quit whining and get us one of those wedding rings."
"Wow, that uh… that's one way of pushing your partner forward." Carrie watched this little interaction between the Sisters, then turned to Devin and pulled him into a hug "This is just something I wanted to do for luck."
"You don't need luck Homie, you're gonna rock this." Devin returned the hug for a few seconds before releasing her "Now show them what you've got."
"Right." Carrie was left blushing with a dream smile spreading across her face as she dove off the dock… only to end up crashing into a large rock in the middle of the bay, earning a loud crash that was more than enough to make everyone present cringe.
"Ooh, yeah that one's gonna hurt in the morning. Actually it kind of looks like it hurts right about now." Leshawna cringed as she looked down at Carrie, then glanced over at Bridgette "But in the meantime, how about it girl? You up for this?"
"I'm gonna have to be either way, that is my sister down there after all." Bridgette pointed out, then let out a sigh "But the way I see it, if we survived Total Drama then we should be able to survive just about anything."
"Amen to that girlfriend, now let's do this!" and so the two of them promptly leapt into the waters below, resulting in two loud simultaneous splashes.
"Yeah that's how we do it babe, you rock in every way!" Geoff was left cheering for Bridgette, then glanced over at Trent "Sup dude?"
"Hey man." Trent caught him in a quick fist bump "So how's it going?"
"Just keeping it real and chill, having some fun with my girl. You?"
"Trying to get through the race, make sure Leshawna doesn't break any international laws or murder anyone in a blind rage."
"Hey come on man, she wouldn't do that."
"She did try to run over Heather once back at Camp Wawanakwa, and her temper hasn't exactly improved since then."
"Yeah but she wouldn't-" Geoff was promptly cut off by the dull look Trent was giving him, and he let out a sigh "Okay yeah, fair point. So what are you gonna do with the money if you win the race?"
"I don't know yet, I'm mostly in this just for fun. And to get away from the crazy fan girls and the pissed off Gwuncan fans. What about you?"
"I've got something pretty special planned for me and Bridge winning the race, something that she's never gonna forget."
"Oh really, and what's that gonna-"
"Behold!" their conversation was cut short when Jacques suddenly burst up from beneath the water with a ring in hand "I have the ring!"
"Now that's what I'm talking about, see you on the beach losers!" and so Josee promptly took off down the dock in the direction of the beach.
It was around this time that Kelly started to grow impatient while watching Taylor stretch "Hey so listen sweetie, I don't want to be that mom right now, but don't you think this is the part where you get in the water right about now?"
"Oh chill the hell out already mamasita, I still have like a billion swimming medals on my wall back home don't I?" Taylor let out a scoff "I mean you know that daddy had to reinforce the wall in my room so that it could hold up all of them, and you yourself said that my swim coach told you that I was the best student he had ever seen."
"Well the thing about that is-"
"And I mean EVER." and so she dove down and face planted planted on the surface of the water, which subsequently resulted in her sinking to the bottom.
"...Yeah." Kelly let out a nervous chuckle as she noticed the various looks she was receiving from the other teams "The thing about that is that I might have exaggerated what her swim coach was actually saying, just a little bit."
"Now this is what I'm talking about!" this was when Lightning bolted to the end of the dock, carrying Cameron on his back "Anyone else here yet?"
"I'm fairly certain that we're the last team to arrive." Cameron climbed off Lightning's back and looked down at the waters below "But keep in mind that given that this is another Botch or Watch challenge, I'm the team member that's required to do it."
"Fine, but just remember smart guy: You can win! You feel great! You! Can! Do! This!" and with a roar he threw Cameron down into the water below, only to look around and notice the raised eyebrows and dull looks he was getting from the others "What, too much?"
"Points for the reference bro!" Geoff caught him in a fist bump.
"What reference?"
"ACHOO!" Jay suddenly let out a loud sneeze as he and Mickey reached the dock "You know the thing is, I had always suspected that my allergy to orchids was fairly acute."
"Yeah well, that's one good thing right now." Mickey glanced down at the water "You don't think there are actually any jellyfish down there do you?"
"Even if there are any, it doesn't make that much of a difference. You know as well as I do that you're immune."
"That is a fair point, but that doesn't mean I like it."
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Meanwhile, on the beach…
"Yes, the gold will soon belong to me!" Josee was running along the beach, posing and smiling as she usually did, only for once the smile was actually genuine "To think we're still in first place, and I don't even have Bunbun with me now. Maybe Jacques was right about what he said, maybe the truth is that I don't even need a good luck charm anymore." and this was promptly thrown right out the metaphorical window when she noticed something in front of her, that being a small lava rock shaped like a trophy, and subsequently stopped in her tracks and picked it up "Is… Is that what I think it is? It's so light and it's so warm, the energy I can feel from it is so beautiful! Now come on my new Rock Rock, we have a race to win!" she took off running again, or tried to at least, but she was stopped by a fishing line hooked onto the back of her uniform "What the (bleep)?!"
"Wait!" as it turns out, it was a Hawaiian native holding the fishing line in question that had stopped her "You cannot take a lava rock as a souvenir!"
"You have a whole volcano's worth of these things, just chill out old man. It's not like you can't just replace it or whatever." and so she took off for real this time, taking the lava rock with her, though she failed to notice the dark clouds that suddenly gathered overhead.
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"As the Ice Dancers work overtime to extend their first place lead, which is apparently leading into something very ominous, the rest of the teams are still searching for rings at the bottom of the bay, though most of them are coming up short as a result."
Sure enough, while Spud was getting electrocuted by an eel (and not actually reacting to it until about two minutes later), Bridgette and Taylor were wrestling over a ring they found, only to soon take notice of a shark approaching them, leading to them clinging to each other and screaming in terror.
"Some of them might even end up coming dead. My money is on Spud personally. The only way to find out for sure is to tune in when we come back, right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"
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"Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race, and here's what you missed."
Gritting her teeth, Bridgette swam towards the shark and landed a solid fist to its nose, sending it swimming away with its tail between its legs (metaphorically speaking anyway). She then sent the shark an apologetic glance, before gripping the ring she held in her hand and swimming back up to the shore.
The revelation about Bridgette holding the ring turned out to be enough to leave Taylor screaming in fury.
"Wow, did we time that commercial right or what? I think the camera guy oughta get a raise for that. I mean better them than the guys in wardrobe."
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Meanwhile, on the surface of the water…
"That's one for us!" Bridgette rose up from the water with a ring in hand "Alright sweetie, head over to the beach and I'll see you there in a few minutes."
"You got it babe, I'm already on my way!" Geoff was quick to take off running down the dock and made a beeline for the beach.
It was at this moment that Carrie rose up from the water with her own ring in hand "Here it is, I've got one!"
"Alright Carrie, you're totally amazing!" Devin cheered her on, and then he took off running towards the beach.
Carrie couldn't stop herself from letting out a tiny squeal, and then she glanced over to see the look that Bridgette was giving her "What?"
"You know you just let out one of your tiny squeals again." Bridgette gave her a knowing grin that left Carrie blushing as the two of them started swimming towards the shore.
"You sure it wasn't just a dolphin?"
"I know what a dolphin squealing sounds like sis, and a dolphin doesn't sound anywhere near as lovestruck. Or as high-pitched for that matter. And don't forget, I already know that you're in love with him, and so does Geoff."
"Yeah, but you know the problem with that too." Carrie let out a sigh as the two of them reached the shore.
"Yeah I do, and I get it. You and Devin, you've always been super close friends, people that have been there for each other even in your darkest hours. But the thing is that you've always been just friends, never more than that. You want it to be more than that, and you're scared to take a risk and go further."
"It's not that simple though, he does have a girlfriend too in Shelley."
"I get it too Car, believe me." Geoff held out a hand to Bridgette and Carrie and pulled both of them out of the water "You guys are friends, always have been and you don't want to screw up a totally sweet thing you've got going with him as it is. But if you really want more than that, I think you're gonna have to take a breath and go for it."
"You think so?"
"Yeah I do. It's like that one movie I can't remember the name of, 20 seconds of courage."
"You mean We Bought A Zoo?"
"That was it. Damn that was a good movie. Anyway I'm not gonna tell Devin how you feel, but maybe you oughta." and so he and Bridgette walked away, leaving Carrie to do some thinking by herself.
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"As more teams continue to finds the rings along the bottom of the bay and/or make their way onto the shore, our first place team, which of course is the Ice Dancers, are saying aloha to the first challenge and aloha to the second challenge. Ha, it's funny because aloha means both hello and goodbye."
"Excellent, we're still ahead of all the other peons, and what makes it better is that I managed to get my hands on this!" Josee held up the lava rock for all the world too see "I picked up a brand new good luck charm from the beach to finish what Bunbun started, it's made from a real Hawaiian lava rock."
"Excellent, that means nothing can stop us now!" Jacques was quick to press the button on the Don Box and pull out a tip "The next gold is within our grasp."
"Yeah cool it with the hype, you've got a tip to read."
"Oh right. Anyway it's another All In challenge, and it says that in this Hawaiian wedding ritual, each team must… oh boy."
"What?"
"It says that each team has to walk on-"
"Fire!" as it turns out, Don was only a short distance away from the two of them as he walked his way along a trail of hot coals, a grass skirt and a wreath in hand "Well technically it's coals if you want to be more accurate, but whatever. For this All In challenge, one member of each team will be labeled as the bride, and the other member as the groom. The brides will have to wear a grass skirt and the grooms a wreath made of mahi lei as they carry their brides across this trail of hot coals, and yes they are real and very painful. This serves as a test of strength and honor, and if any part of the ensemble catches on fire from the coals, which includes the grass skirt, then you have to go all the way back to the start- Oh holy hell get me out of here!" he threw away the burning grass skirt and wreath and leapt off the hot coals and onto the sand, and he cringed as he looked down at his burnt feet "Well that's just perfect, now I'm gonna take foot modeling off my resume. Who the hell would look at these?"
"Here's a better idea, finish explaining the freaking challenge already!" Josee snapped at him.
"Alright alright, just remember who can disqualify teams if prompted to. Anyway, once the teams reach the end of the hot coals without getting burned, it's a race to the Chill Zone. As is to be expected by now, the last team to arrive may be cut from the race."
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Meanwhile, at the dock…
"Dammit!" Taylor burst up from beneath the water gasping for air "Nothing, dammit why the hell is this so hard?"
"Speak for yourself." Noah rose up from the water and held up two rings "Guess who just found two of these little suckers."
"Hey why the hell do you get two of those?!"
"If you actually bothered to watch Total Drama, even though it does provide me a certain sense of comfort to know that there are still people out there with taste, you'd know that if you hang around with someone like Owen who eats as much as he does, you're always gonna need a lot of extra cash on hand at all times."
"Well give me one of those."
"Oh yeah, let me think about that. Do I keep one of these gold rings for myself or hand it over to some spoiled little daddy's girl who's chest is as flat as her IQ is low? Let me think about that for a second… Thinking, thinking, thinking… Nope." and so he swam off, leaving Taylor fuming as he gave a smirk "Leshawna, eat your heart out."
"Well damn." Leshawna let out a low whistle from her place on the dock "Not gonna lie, that skinny little turkey has more guts than I figured he would."
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Meanwhile, on the beach…
"Yeah come on little buddy, there we go!" Owen was running down the beach at full speed, trying to keep pace with where Noah was swimming in the direction of the shore "Come on little buddy we're almost there, let's go ahead and score first place!"
"Tone down on burning the calroies Chubby Buddy, I've got this one-" Noah suddenly pause when he started getting pulled down into the water "Holy hell something's got me, I think it's a shark! SHARK!" and then he got dragged all the way underwater."
"Oh my god Noah, somebody help him! God it's times like this I wish I was born a merman! Or a secret strong geek like Cody, the dude punched out Duncan once for crying out loud!"
It was only a moment before Noah suddenly rose back up above the water, with Mickey clinging onto him for dear life "I was expecting a giant hungry shark instead of a nerd that somehow has even less muscle tone than either me or Cody, and honestly I'm not really sure whether or not to be disappointed by this."
"Please tell me that you're one of the wedding rings." Mickey let out a whimper.
"Dammit, and here I thought I was gonna sell one of them for cash to pay off one of Owen's many food bills. Seriously, the guy isn't cheap to be around you know." Noah let out a sigh as he handed one of the rings to Mickey "Fine, you can have it."
"Oh dear god…" all the while, Owen could only look on in horror "Noah's being sincere and actually doing something nice for someone else?! Either it's a sign of the apocalypse or… oh my god, he's dying!" and then he promptly ran away screaming in terror.
"...Yeah you know what, I'm just gonna let that one run its course." Noah glanced over at where he could see Owen freaking out, and then just let out a sigh as he turned towards the camera "To all of the people out there that have no lives of their own, if you think I'm getting soft or way too sentimental then your opinion is about as valid as any sort of redeeming qualities Teen Titans Go is supposed to have. I'm not soft, it's just that I'm not as greedy, ruthless or downright sadistic or insane as a lot of the other crazy (bleep) I've had to deal with over the years, whether it be on this show or on Total Drama, like Heather or Justin, or Alejandro. And even if I did somehow get nicer than I used to be, hanging around with guys like Owen or Cody will do that to you. Plus I might have been a little bit distracted by Emma lately sure, but it's not gonna turn into this whole thing where I turn into some kind of lovestruck puppy or anything. Besides, I already promised myself that I wasn't gonna turn into a babbling idiot and start acting like a gigantic simp. If I wanted to see that then I would've entered this race with Cody, but then that would just be giving ammo to the crazy (bleep) that still want us to hook up."
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Meanwhile, with the frontrunners…
"There we go, easy now." as the next part of the race comended, Josee was being carried overhead by Jacques across the trail of hot coals "That's it Jacques, we're moving forward and taking it one step at a time. This is just like the Olympics, it's nothing more than a ginormous mind game that you have the strength to overcome."
"This one and many others." Jacques kept his signature camera-ready smile, albeit while keeping his eyes closed, as he made his way along the trail of hot coals.
"Yes that's it, you're just walking along a beautiful white and sandy beach."
"Just like the one out of the Madagascar movie. I'm now expecting a quartet of penguins to come out of the jungle and smack me across the with their flippers."
"But there are no penguins Jacques, and there are no coals either."
"...Oh no." Jacques suddenly stopped in his tracks as his skirt caught on fire.
"Why did you stop?"
"I forgot about the coals!" and so he threw Josee onto the sand while he ran into the water to put out the fire on his grass skirt.
"...Okay cool, I guess that means it's our turn now." Geoff watched the Ice Dancers doing their form of damage control, then glanced over at Bridgette "You ready babe?"
"Just one second." Bridgette glanced over at Carrie "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah sure, but could you give me a hand and tie this real quick?" Carrie turned around and allowed Bridgette to tie her grass skirt, during which she looked over at Geoff "Do you really think that I should just go ahead and tell Devin how I feel?"
"Hey what can I say, life is short and he's a good guy. You never know, maybe it'll come out that he feels the same way you do." Geoff shot her a reassuring grin, then looked over at Bridgette "So are we good to go babe?"
"I'm ready babe." Bridgette allowed herself to be hoisted into his arms bridal style, though she quickly noticed how nervous he looked as he started along the trail of hot coals "It's going to be alright sweetie, just focus on me okay?"
"Okay, okay I gotcha Bridge." and so he put all of his focus on her as he continued moving forward one step at a time "You remember that time that we were paddle boarding off Tofino and then I went and forgot my wet suit? Oh man that was cold."
"Yeah, cold… that was what I was thinking of when that happened." Bridgette's face turned a deep shade of red at the memory, but she quickly shook it off "Or what about the time Brody dared you to stick your tongue to a flagpole, or when he dared you to dump that giant cherry slushie down your shorts… Now that I think about it, you and Brody dare each other to do a lot of stupid stuff together."
"We're just being guys Bridge, it's what we do. It's totally gnarly." they reached the end of the trail and he set Bridgette down on the sand "Yeah there we go babe, now that's how- Okay yeah, that hurts. A lot. You think we could get a giant cherry slushy somewhere around here?"
"To drink or to stick your feet in?"
"Why not both?"
"...Maybe later, as long as you don't do both in the same one. Now come on, we're in the lead so we'd better head over to the Chill Zone." so she grabbed him by the hand, and the two of them took off running.
"Got it, first the Chill Zone and then the cherry slushie."
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Meanwhile, at the start of the trail…
"Huh, never knew how good I looked wearing seaweed." Kitty looked down at the wreath made of seaweed hanging around her neck, then glanced over at Carrie and noticed the way she was staring at Devin "Oh yeah, she's totally in love with him."
"You sure about that?" Owen shot her a raised eyebrow.
"Oh yeah, without a shadow of a doubt. Trust me, I can tell better than anyone when there's any love in the air. I've got a super sensitive love detector, I always have, and let me tell you know that the alarm has been going off a lot over the past few days. Speaking of which check us out, looks like the two of us get to be grooms. Also I'm meeting another Total Drama veteran, so get in here real quick." she pulled herself close to Owen and caught him in a quick selfie "A selfie with the OG winner of Total Drama, so many people must be crazy jealous right now."
"Yeah that's cool and all, but I'm about to get married to a dead person."
"What are you talking about?"
"Just take a look at Noah over there!" he gestured to where Noah was staring at Emma with that goofy look on his face "He's actually smiling and being sincere, and what's worse is that he isn't even being a little bit sarcastic! It's like he's either really sick or it's a sign of the apocalypse!"
"No I'm pretty sure that's not it, he just has a thing for my sister."
"What? But that can't be right, he's acting all goofy and awkward and… Oh." Owen paused, then suddenly gave a huge grin "Oh."
"Yeah I know, I've been watching Total Dramafor years, and if someone can actually get Noah to stop being sarcastic, then it has to be one hell of a serious crush."
"...Wait a second." Leshawna looked up from where she was putting on the skirt, then turned to where Trent was putting on his wreath "Did they just say that skinny little turkey actually has a crush on a girl?"
"That's what I heard." Trent gave a shrug, followed by a prolonged pause, and then the two of them suddenly burst out laughing.
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"As some of our teams contemplate the idea of Noah actually having feelings for any other living being, all of the other teams have officially moved onto the second challenge. Well, almost all of them that is."
"Come on sweetie, just a little bit further to the shore…" Kelly watched as Taylor doggy paddled her way to the shore in what was honestly a very pathetic fashion, and then she nervously turned towards the camera "She's usually a lot faster when she's using a flutter board."
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Meanwhile, at the start of the trail…
"Okay let me just say this now." Junior shoved away the skirt Dwayne was holding out to him, his expression one of defiance "There's absolutely no chance I'm wearing a skirt, not when every single kid at my school is gonna see this on TV at home."
"Yeah but keep in mind pal if I wear the skit then that means you're gonna have to carry me over hot coals." Dwayne pointed out, then let out a chuckle "Besides, I doubt any of the kids at your school are really gonna make that big of a deal over something like this."
"What school do you think you're talking about? One of my classmates Larry Finkle spent all of last year getting shoved into the girls' locker room, and they only did that because his last name rhymes with Tinkle! Now give me the wreath and you put on the skirt, that's the only way we're doing this." so he snatched the wreath and walked over to the start of the trail.
"Ha. Tinkle."
"I heard that!"
"I didn't say anything."
"I'm short dad, that doesn't mean I'm deaf."
"And I'm not wearing the skirt." on another end, Lorenzo and Chet were arguing over what was now turning out to be a very common topic "You wear it you (bleep), I'm not the girl between the two of us?"
"And what, that means I am?" Chet shot him a dirty look.
"You're the one who said it, not me."
Cameron on the other hand looked down at the skirt in his hand, then subsequently glanced over at where Lightning was putting on his wreath "I know that you've turned over a new leaf as that expression goes, but I'd like to point this out for the sake of clarity, I am a boy."
"I know I know." Lightning rolled his eyes, then gave a shrug "Actually since I mellowed out the other day, a lot of other stuff is actually coming pretty clearly to me now. It's like… maybe I used so much brain power trying to show how good I was, that after I stopped doing that the brain power started going to other places."
"That… actually seems more logical than most of the anomalies that I've seen on Total Drama, or during this race for that matter."
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Meanwhile, with an actually compatible team…
"Okay, I think I'm good now." Devin finished doing some stretches as he saw Carrie come up to the start of the trail "I'm pretty sure Geoff and Bridgette already finished this part of it, but if we hurry we might be able to catch up. We're getting in the top three though, that much is a definite yes."
"Oh yeah, the two of us are so going to win this and-" Carrie was cut off when she suddenly found herself being hoisted into his arms bridal style, leaving her blushing heavily "Oh okay, wow. Yeah that's us, so winning and all…" she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his embrace.
"Alright homie, looks like it's time for us to walk the walk." Devin took a breath as he started to make his way along the trail of hot coals, with Carrie enjoying every single moment of it.
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Oh yeah, that's some of the good stuff." Don let out a sigh as he slurped down the contents of a coconut in his hand "Those packs of suckers have to swim with jellyfish and eels and walk over a trail of hot coals, whereas yours truly gets to sit on the beach and enjoy the beautiful Hawaiian landscape under the sun while drinking from a coconut. Oh yeah, life is good."
"You got that one right Don my man!" this was when Geoff and Bridgette came running onto the Carpet of Completion and screeched to a halt.
"Geoff and Bridgette, congratulations to the both of you. You're the winners for today's leg of the race, so that means tomorrow you're going to receive a special reward."
"Yes! We did it babe!"
"You got that right!" Bridgette wrapped her arms around Geoff and allowed herself to be spun around in a hug "I love you babe, I swear I'd marry you all over again if I could."
"You never know babe, if we win this race then you might get the chance."
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
"Yep, lovers holding each other in their arms under the sun in tropical paradise." Don let out a sigh that sounded almost whimsical "See now, stuff like this is the reason why I love weddings as much as I do."
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Meanwhile, at the trail of hot coals…
"Well it's like the old saying goes, if you want something done right then you just have to step up and do it yourself." now carrying Jacques in her arms, Josee promptly made a mad dash along the trail of hot coals, which allowed them to overtake Devin and Carrie with ease… only for this to almost immediately backfire as Jacque's grass skirt caught on fire again, sending the two of them running back to the water while he was screaming in terror.
"...Huh. Well that's convenient." Devin looked back to see Josee throw Jacques into the water, and then he glanced over to see Rock wearing the grass skirt on his head like a wig "And you know what, that's actually not a bad idea."
"Yeah, well at least it's just the two of us again." Carrie gave a smile as she leaned further into Devin's arms, though once they reached the end of the trail and she was set back down on her feet, she let out a sigh "Well it was nice while it lasted."
"You say something homie?"
"Nope, nothing important at least."
"Hey guess what Best Friends, time for you to move it or lose it while we claim the gold that rightfully belongs to us!" this was when Josee and Jacques came rushing along the path with malice in their eyes, at least in the case of the former that is.
"Oh man, come on homie we've gotta move!" and so the two of them took off running towards the Chill Zone, the Ice Dancers quickly catching up to them, leaving both teams neck and neck.
"There we go Jacques, just have faith in the lava rock and we'll own the podium now and for the entire race!" Josee held up the lava rock as they ran, only for Jacques to suddenly trip on a rock and crash face first into the sand, allowing Carrie and Devin to bolt past them.
"And here they come!" Don was quick to greet Carrie and Devin when they reached the Carpet of Completon "Nicely done Carrie and Devin, you just arrived in second place."
"Yes!" Devin spun Carrie around in a hug just as the Ice Dancers reached the Chill Zone.
"And that leaves the Ice Dancers with, as I'm sure they've heard plenty of times by now and more than likely will in the future, third place."
"(Insert massive stream of bleeps), not again! Bronze is the absolute medal, the road to shame is paved with nothing but bronze!" Josee was left to rage about their ranking while Jacques just broke down in tears.
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Meanwhile, with the rest of the teams…
"Oh crap oh crap oh crap!" Trent was trying to force himself not to freak out, and failing pretty miserably for that matter, as he threw Leshawna (whose grass skirt was on fire) into the water to put out the flames, then stopped to catch his breath and let out a sigh of relief, only to look over and notice Crimson coloring her grass skirt with a black marker "Uh, what are you doing?"
"She only wears black and nothing else." Ennui told him "Even if it is grass, it has to be black grass and only black grass."
"...You know, part of me thinks that I should be weirded out by that."
"And the other part?"
"That's the part that reminds me that I used to date Gwen, and she did that with a lot of the stuff she wore too. Did she pick up that habit from you guys?"
"Actually, we became goths based on inspiration that we received from her."
"Really? Damn, that's kind of weird because you guys seem a lot more… serious about that sort of thing than she does, for the lack of a better way to put it."
"Gwen is a friend and friends should stick together, whether they are goths or not, but the fact is that she is what's known as a pseudo-goth."
"What, like she's only part goth?"
"Essentially yes."
"...Yeah okay, I believe that."
"And so you should, and now I'm done." Crimson held up her skirt once it was entirely colored in black "Let's go."
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"Looks like more and more teams have finished walking down the aisle. Ha, wordplay" Don let out a chuckle as he watched the next few teams arrive, starting with the Reality TV Pros "You're in fourth place."
Then the Sisters.
"Fifth place."
Brains & Brawn.
"Sixth place."
Father & Son.
"Seventh place."
The Stepbrothers.
"Eighth place."
The Performers.
"Ninth place."
The Adversity Twins.
"Tenth place."
The Goths, covered in black markings across their bodies in a rather disturbing image, even by their standards.
"Eleventh place."
The Rockers.
"Twelfth place. That leaves only one team, but we have to keep going until they cross the finish line, last place or not."
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Hours passed, and the sun began to fade.
"Okay, hell no to the hell no." after spending god only knows how long taking her time to get through the first challenge, Taylor had FINALLY reached the shore with her ring in hand, and was now being carried by Kelly "There's gonna be a cold day in the depths of hell before I let myself walk on hot coals, do you have any idea how much this gel petite of mine costs?"
"Yes I do honey, because I'm the one that paid for it." Kelly pointed out slowly, her teeth clearly grinding to anyone that bothered to look.
"You know you shouldn't whine as much as you do mom, things would be a lot easier for both of us if you just shut your hole and listen to the leader of this team."
"And what makes you think you're the one that's leading this team?"
"What do you think, it's because I'm the one that has actual leader in training certification, so you're welcome."
"And again I say, leader in training certification that I paid for!"
"Like I literally just sad, you're welcome."
All the while, Devin and Carrie just watched this little exchange going on from where the two of them were sitting on the beach "Wow, those uh… those are definitely some fireworks. Or maybe a fire sign of some kind."
"Yeah, no doubt about that." Carrie tentatively glanced over at him "Hey listen Devin, I can't tell you how glad that you and I are here together."
"I know what you mean homie, I feel the same way. It's totally amazing, and honestly a pretty big relief, that I'm here with you instead of Shelly. Knowing how she can be, the two of us would probably be just like the two of them most of the time, but I know that you and I would never turn out like that. And that's one of the great things about being best friends. There are all sorts of things I can say and do with you that I'd never be able to do with Shelly, so in a lot of ways, you're even better than a girlfriend."
"You… really think so?"
"I know it with just about every part of me." then he suddenly pulled her into a tight hug, though he failed to notice her face turning red "I know I don't say this a lot, but I can't imagine living my life without you being a part of it. Thanks homie, for everything."
"Uh… no worries." Carrie snapped herself out of her stupor as she returned the hug and leaned into his embrace "I don't want to imagine my life without you either."
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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…
"I know I'm supposed to remain nonpartisan and all, but I have to be honest, this is getting pretty pathetic." Don let out a sigh as he watched Mother & Daughter arrive at the Chill Zone "I'm sure that this is no surprise to you or anyone else, but I'm afraid that you're the last team to arrive at the Chill Zone." he was immediately met with a loud scream from Taylor "Yeah, we're probably going to want to censor that part. Anyway, sending the two of you home… is exactly what we would be doing if it wasn't for the fact that this is a non-elimination round! Congratulations, the two of you get to stay in the race, for now that is."
"Oh, well that's a relief." Kelly breathed a sigh as she set Taylor down "Well sweetie I think it's safe to say that it wasn't pretty, but we did get a lucky break on-"
"The hell we got a lucky break." Taylor cut her off and shot her a dirty look "You need to step up your game mother, I'm being serious."
"We're a team Taylor, that means the two of us are in this together."
"And you're not pulling your weight. Look I know that you're not used to winning at everything you do like I am, but maybe you need to work on following my example more because-"
"You've never won anything in your life Taylor, never!" this was when Kelly finally ran out of patience and lost her temper, which was long overdue "Not one race, not one medal, not a single damn thing!"
"Wait, what are you talking about? My room is full of all of my trophies and medals!"
"You only have them because your dad bought a trophy store before you were born, I mean what kind of trophies come in the mail in the first place? And guess who paid all of your coaches to lie to your face about how good you were at everything? Yep that's right, daddy did."
"But the beauty pageants, I won beauty pageants! There's no way that you can fake those!"
"Yeah well, funny thing about that." Kelly let out a chuckle, her tone increasingly smug "Guess what honey, when you've got enough cash on hand, you'll find that you're able to fake just about anything." she was met with a horrified gasp.
"The coals were hot, but that one was ice cold." Don glanced over and saw one of the interns standing off screen and holding up a scorecard "Seriously, only a 7/10? Just goes to show you that everybody is a critic. Oh well, time to do my job." and so he turned back to the camera "As for the rest of you, be sure to come back for more heartwarming and/or heartbreaking action and suspense, right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"
A/N:
This chapter isn't as particularly eventful as some of the others in this story, though I suppose that's to be expected from the likes of a non-elimination round. It gets done what it needs to get done though, and plays a substantial part in setting up some more drama further into the story. Sorry this one took a full month to get out, but I had to deal with my midterms, which were a gigantic pain to deal with, along with a bunch of my other stories.
As far as character interactions go, not really much to say about them, aside from showing how Lightning has mellowed out now that he let go of his desperate need to prove himself and how he can interact with others more freely now. In addition, given that the Surfers are the winners of this leg of the race, it's only right to show them interacting with some of the others, like the Best Friends or some of their fellow former Total Drama competitors.
Rankings:
Surfers- 1st
Best Friends- 2nd
Ice Dancers- 3rd
Reality TV Pros- 4th
Sisters- 5th
Brains & Brawn- 6th
Father & Son- 7th
Stepbrothers- 8th
Performers- 9th
Adversity Twins- 10th
Goths- 11th
Rockers- 12th
Mother & Daughter- 13th
Elimination order:
LARPers - 18th
Tennis Rivals 17th
Geniuses - 16th
Vegans - 15th
Fashion Bloggers- 14th