Disclaimer:still, sadly, not mine.
A/N: I am so sorry it has been so dreadfully long. I am sad to say I have been struggling with some rather serious health problems, and unfortunately am no longer able to walk unassisted. Its been a very tough time for me. I have however, greatly missed this, this story, this place, and all of you.
I wont go on and on. Just know how much this story and everyone who has taken time to read it, mean to me. I love you all.
Lil
Over the course of the next few days Severus continued to closely monitor the Wolfsbane with Hermione spending her time quietly revising for her NEWTS in the little corner workstation he had set up for her. They quickly found a rythym that seemed to suit them, mostly.
There were moments when Severus found need to throw up a silencing charm around the little witch who he was fast remembering had a penchant for thinking aloud. Usually he found it charming and would laugh when she grumbled about a particularly difficult arithmantic equation or a decidedly complex portion of advanced runes she was reading up on. It was however impossible for him to focus as strongly as the Wolfsbane required when he was being distracted so easily by Hermione's small outbursts.
Hermione for her part was oblivious to his silencing spells having grown so immersed in her studies. She finally was allowing herself to try and feel secure in the knowledge that her future could be a fulfilling one and she was growing ever more determined to prove her worth to the wizard who already seemed so assured of her abilities. She had been happy the night before to taste a bit of the life Severus was offering her. The Wolfsbane potion had long been something that intrigued her and to actually watch a true Master at work with such a complex and advanced potion was beyond what she had envisioned. When Severus had asked her why she thought it was so important that an ingredient be prepared in a certain way or why he should use one tool over another in the preparation of the ingredients she found herself overjoyed and often stumped but increasingly eager to learn.
It truly was a different dynamic being his pupil a second time; ensconced in the beauty of his private lab studying quietly and sharing his attention with nothing more than potions and texts. It was easily Hermione's new favorite place. She had always loved the little potions shop he had built but she found that the spaces he had created for himself and welcomed her to share in were truly magnificent. The walls, like the wizard who occupied them, were dressed in a crisp black, which Hermione learned was actually to cut down on possible light reflections that could play an impactful role in some of the more delicate potions he worked with. But it was his assortment of shelves, workbenches, and book cases, all in various woods, that she found the most beautiful.
Severus spent hours telling her of his cultivation of certain woods to use for his workbenches, explaining that the same theories applied in wand lore could be applied in the art of potions making. He told her how he had experimented with using various woods on which to work and prepare certain brews, finding oak to be best for calming draughts and walnut to be best for the Wolfsbane. As of yet it was nothing more than his theoretical design but he expressed to her a desire to do further trials and have the opportunity to prove to the Magical community what he knew in his heart to be true.
It was moments when he opened up to her about his hopes and dreams for his future, for their future, that helped her to have hope herself. It was hard finding the balance some moments though, with a new wand and everything else that had so quickly changed, and the way it had changed. It was a violent storm that had devastated the life she had been living and cleared a path for a brighter, yet uncertain, new life.
Severus was so wonderful and so patient and had taken such care to share the private places in his life with her piece by piece. The lab where she had spent the past few days learning, and healing, was a wonderful example; yet as Severus focused so intently on his Wolfsbane her mind would wander into darker places. She worked hard to focus on her revision and she found arithmancy and runes to be enough of a challenge that they sufficiently distracted her from her bouts of melancholy.
Still it wasn't always entirely easy to move on with a new life when her old one was quite literally just laid to rest. She didn't want to keep living in the darkness that had consumed her so terribly, so wonderfully, over the past few years. It wouldn't be fair to Severus, who was so patient and so kind, well kind to her at least. She knew that she would need to find a way to put the darkness to rest with the child that had been her ray of light. Besides, she was learning that even in the darkest of places one can find hope and a way back to the warmth of daylight.
Sitting in her little corner within his private world she found comfort in knowing that she may be the only person alive to experience the warmth of Severus Snape. She was certain it was a side of himself few others would understand or really appreciate. She knew that most people would see his warm sensitive side as a complete contradiction to his dark and mysterious persona, but it was easy for her to understand that people could have parts of themselves that went against the vision others carried of them. After all, she was supposed to have been a shining beacon of the light, a so called princess in her own right, one of the golden trio, a savior to the Wizarding World. In reality she feared she had never fit those molds. Severus was perhaps the only person who would understand the masks she had always found comfort in hiding behind, and the pain and secret darkness that had necessitated them. Her reasons were not the same as his, and the masks she had chosen were vastly different, but in the end it was knowing that he would be able to understand without judgment that truly secured her trust in him. He would love her even through her darkest days. He had already seen her broken and defeated and still treated her like a woman. He held her and spoke softly to her, not in the way one does with an injured child but the way a man holds a woman and tells her he treasures her, without the need for such words.
Hermione decided she did quite enjoy reading under the soft glow of the little balls of light Severus had suspended in perfect intervals around the workspace, and having the opportunity to observe Severus in moments he thought she was focused on her revisions. Severus couldn't seem to help but to talk to his potions she had discovered, that too was a lovely distraction. Even still from time to time the words in front of her blurred as her focus melted away leaving her struggling with the thoughts that plagued the quiet moments of her life, and in those moments she felt herself slowly being lost again to the darkness.
As the Wolfsbane reached a point where it needed to quietly simmer again Severus found himself silently observing Hermione. At first he was just taken by the small things she couldn't see, the way her shorter hair served to frame the strong features of her face so beautifully, and the way her lower lip swelled ever so slightly after hours of her teasing it between her teeth. He noticed the ink smudges on her finger tips and her ear lobe from where she had tucked strands of hair behind her ear with futility. What concerned him was the look in her eyes when they stopped focusing on the text in front of her. Her eyes fluttered blinking back tears subconsciously and a haze seemed to settle over the gold flecks in them dimming the brightness he knew they could hold.
He sat watching her, his shoulder leaning against the wall, as he considered how best he could break her free from the darkness he could tell consumed her thoughts when she thought no one would notice. He still hadn't found the courage to breach the topic of her use of the cruciatis or the inquisition he knew she would soon face but he knew he couldn't keep putting it off. Tomorrow they would have lunch with Kingsley and George and he knew that Kingsley had plans to discuss with her what the Ministries case against her was looking like, because they did have a case, as ridiculous and out of context as the charges were. Kingsley had distracted the wolves for the moment with his very public and perfectly timed proposal, but still there was no stopping what was to come. He knew he needed to talk with her about it, to confirm his grim suspicions. He knew it was also time to face his own darkness and the methods he had used to deal with the pain he had once been fighting to conceal from everyone. It was time, he knew, to talk about some parts of his past, and he hoped that in doing so he could help Hermione move on from hers as well.
"Hermione," he spoke quietly as he stepped away from the wall and strode to her side in a few short steps.
She didn't seem to hear him and her eyes just continued to stare off into the abyss as he reached the desk she was situated at, placing his hands on the parchment she had been working on, his long slender fingers splayed over her delicate script. It was enough to finally snap her out of her daze and she shifted her eyes up to lock with his.
For a moment, as Severus watched the glimmer return to her eyes, he forgot what he was going to say. The change in her eyes and her face startled him as he came to the realization that he truly did have such a powerful effect on her. It was a good feeling to see proof that it wasn't one sided, for she certainly had an amazing effect over him.
"Hermione," he tried again, "I've been thinking, the Wolfsbane needs to simmer undisturbed for a full lunar evening, perhaps now is a good time to adjourn for dinner. I could certainly use a break from the lab. How does Italian sound?" he asked, hoping that a change of scenery might be just what they needed.
Hermione looked up lovingly into the beautiful eyes of this man who was so quickly becoming her salvation. It was hard to fathom how he could be so good, so kind and thoughtful, and also so strong and secure. If the rumbling of her stomach, un noticed until just now, were anything to go by, it was certainly past time for a good meal. Having been brought from her thoughts she was noticing a few other things that needed her attention too, her breasts were once again strained inside her top desperately requiring her attentions.
"I think Italian sounds wonderful Severus. What time is it? I must have gotten lost in my thoughts there a minute," she admitted to him as she absentmindedly rubbed a hand over the tops of her breasts.
Severus found it was difficult to focus on what he knew was more important, especially with his witch gliding her hands so gently over the pale skin exposed by the scooped neckline of her top. He knew that it wasn't the right moment to allow himself to get lost in his fantasies about her. "It's a little after seven actually. You've been working on your revision ceaselessly for near on four hours. I believe, darling, that a break from that is all in order. I don't believe that you have even comprehended any of what you have looked at for at least the last several minutes," he informed her, letting her know he had noticed her far off stare.
Hermione blushed slightly and pulled her lip between her teeth. The small embarrassed gesture was enough to pull a small moan from Severus who had to steel himself against the directions his thoughts were roaming at the sight.
"I know just the place, a quiet little out of the way bistro," he told her, trying to shake his desire to feast on her from the forefront of his mind. "Why don't you tend to your needs while I finish straightening up in here, then we can go and enjoy a much needed quiet meal." There was nothing to straighten but he could use a moment to clear his thoughts, and to order them, without getting so distracted from his goals.
"That will be lovely," she told him, smiling more noticing the way he was looking at her. "I hadn't realized how much time had gone by. It had been my intention to pump over an hour ago actually. I've made it nearly through all of my OWL level Arithmancy." In all honesty it was Transfiguration and Charms that would be her biggest challenge, she hadn't felt entirely in control of her magic over the past few years, which is why once she made it through first year Transfiguration revision she had switched to other subjects that would strain her magic less. She felt it was perhaps that the wand she was using since the war was more attuned to the dark places inside her magical core, only responding well when her magical intent was derived from that same place, and now with a new wand and a shift in her core she was having to relearn her control over her magic.
Severus could see she was getting lost in her thoughts again. "Darling, I am entirely confident that if the dunderheaded buffoons proctoring the exams saw fit to give Longbottom scores befitting a professor, you could easily sit your exams now with excellent scores. However I do applaud your determination. The Master with whom you wish to apprentice is seeking a much higher standard.' His words both served to assure her of her abilities, and his faith in them, and to encourage an even more fervent desire to achieve top marks in all subjects.
Hermione held in a small snort when he mentioned Neville, he may not be an arithmantic genius but he certainly knew his plants. Severus watched with satisfaction as his words truly registered. He had faith in her to overcome the past three years and become a witch worthy of their time, a witch worth mention in the texts being taught to the next generation. That was the woman he saw before him and no matter how long it took him, she would see the same.
"Why don't you go upstairs, take care of those lovely, temptingly engorged breasts, and get yourself straitened up. I'm afraid there is an ink smudge or two requiring a bit of cleaning. I will be finished up here shortly and then I shall escort my lovely witch to dinner." The flick of his wrist was so minor she hardly would have noticed the quick wand work if she hadn't been able to feel the powerful wards fall.
Hermione's face showed her continued amazement and her trepidation. Though she had been slipping away to his private residence above the shop each day she had been there this week to assist and revise it still felt so intimate and private a space to invade. She wasn't entirely sure why his private home made her nearly nervous, aside the simple fact that it was his. Unlike her childhood home that belonged truly to neither of them, and yet had so suddenly become home, this space was well and truly his and the strength of the wards that he'd just brought down spoke heavily to the importance of that. "It still takes my breath away that you invite me in so completely," she said, knowing she meant more than just into his home
"Here I was thinking you were bright. Do you honestly think there something in my life you shouldn't be allowed to see? A part of my life I should have any desire to keep from you? Truly Hermione, I may have been fortunate enough to save your life but you've saved me from spending mine alone," he told her as he pulled her up into his arms, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. He loved the feel of her against him, and he was fairly certain that if she did not get ready now they would never make it to dinner and he knew they needed to have a serious discussion.
He pulled away from her just slightly and with another small flick of his wand the door at the top of the stairwell in the back of the lab swung slowly open. He kissed her lips, slowly, infusing into his kiss the promise that his words held more truth than she ever would understand. She was his savior just as much as he had been hers. Together they would continue to save each other. "Go, before I get carried away with your kisses and we miss dinner altogether."
She didn't find words to express how much she loved him, to express how grateful she was for his strength by her side and his trust in her strength. She simply placed a chaste kiss on his lips before turning towards the stair. If he was certain of her place in his life, and was trusting enough to open his private spaces to her then she would argue no further.
While Severus remained below in the labs, clearing his thoughts much more than actually clearing the lab, Hermione ascended the steps into his private apartment. He hadn't been back there but to retrieve clothing and a few odds and ends since she had been released from St. Mungos. The first time she had entered she wasn't sure what she should be expecting. Nothing though had prepared her for the room she found herself in once she passed through the doorway.
There had been a secondary charm in place, similar to the one protecting the Hogwarts Castle from muggle eyes. All she had seen approaching the door was a black curtain, not a true curtain but a magical illusion keeping anyone from seeing beyond the threshold until they had stepped through the door.
The room she stepped into was not the private chambers of Master Snape, it was the private flat of her beloved Severus. The walls were the color of golden gingersnaps, and throughout the space she could see soft blues and greens. There were warm well warn leathers and dark woods all around. She could see back to a small kitchenette with a large farmhouse sink. It was a surprisingly warm and comfortable. It was certainly not enough space for two, truly it was hardly enough space for one, though she was certain that if he had ever desired to he had more than enough magical ability to enlarge the space. It was lovely in all honesty. It was lacking in decoration, though she hardly believed that anyone would believe her if she told them he had throw pillows.
Hermione settled in and pulled her pump out of the little black carry bag she had strung over her shoulder. As she pumped she again took in everything around her. She was still slightly surprised to note there were no snakes adorning anything, not on top of his coat rack, which was quite beautiful she decided, or as a decorative emblem on any frames or small boxes. Truly there was very little in the way of decoration. There were bookshelves crammed in every corner and books on the mahogany coffee table and end tables. Her eyes fell on the most beautiful glass vials she had ever seen, each one full of shimmering liquid of varied colors, sitting next to a small table lamp. The vials were all different shapes and must have been suspended with a charm of some sort because they floated ever so slightly above the table in the corner. There weren't any photos or mirrors hanging on the walls, just a few black and white prints that seemed to all be of the same forest somewhere, some showing wide shots of trees and others very close up shots of various plant life. It was beautiful.
Hermione felt comforted looking about at Severus' space reveling in the realization that she wasn't somehow changing him into a man he hadn't already been, and he wasn't playing at being someone he couldn't always be. She wouldn't wake one morning to find herself in bed with the dour potions master sneering at her. Her Severus was a private wizard, and she doubted many were allowed to see him as she did, but being in that room was further proof that he trusted her enough to let her in. She knew he deserved the same from her.
Severus found her sitting there on his sofa, staring thoughtfully at potions vials with an ever filling bottle of milk attached to each breast. He approached her slowly, whispering her name softly as he moved behind her so as not to startle her too much as he slid his fingers over the tight muscles in her shoulders. He worked at a few knots in her shoulders and rubbed the soft skin of her neck, feeling her hair brush lightly over his knuckles. He leant down and kissed her cheek.
"If you're nearly set we should head out soon," he told her, continuing to move his fingers over her shoulders and neck.
Hermione smiled and let out a soft gasp as his adept fingers found a particularly tight knot. "Mmmmmmmm," she moaned happily as he worked the knot away. "I'm just about done I think. I just need to clean this up and put it away, would you mind casting a cooling charm on the bottles until we get home and I can get them in the freezer?" she asked. Not wanting to make the attempt at the simple charm with him watching, in case she wasn't able to make it work.
Severus complied wordlessly, and shrunk the bottles and once Hermione returned from the kitchen with a clean pump he shrunk it and its case making them easier to take along with them. He grabbed a coat off of his coat rack and slipped it on before stowing the pump inside one of his pockets.
"Thank you Severus, I'm still not quite rea..." the words died on her lips as Severus quickly pulled his wand, a quick glamor charm had the ink smudges cleared away. Another swish and the blue sundress she had chosen to wear was suddenly a slightly deeper shade of blue the hem was slightly shorter and cut a little closer to her body. She wasn't entirely sure but it seemed the neckline had dropped ever so slightly as well.
"You look absolutely beautiful my darling, just a little sprucing up for dinner. Now, if you're done gawking at me," he told her, smiling a little crookedly at her obvious surprise.
Hermione shook her head as she tucked her hand into the crook of his offered arm. "You truly are an enigma Severus Snape. I've been struggling with too tight tops for weeks and you've known how to do this all along," she huffed, her irritation softened by her admiration.
"Why, I do apologize Hermione, but alas, I only ever learned to make them smaller." With that, and a completely baffled look upon her face, Severus pulled her close, kissed her soundly and apparated away, pulling a laughing Hermione with him.
A/N: I hope it was to your liking. I feel a little rusty. What did you think? I'm already working on more, Dinner is coming and its time for Hermione to face what she has been doing to herself and really heal. Also lunch with George and Kings and more Luna! I'm excited. I've missed this soooooo much! Lots of love and hugs!
-lil