Old girls of St. Trinian's
"Mummy, I'm not sure I want to go to St. Trinian's," said nine-year-old Hermione Granger.
"Darling, we've been through this. You passed all the exams, and there's no reason you should not do extremely well," said her mother.
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St. Trinian's had moved on considerably since the days of Flash Harry, and with more opportunities for women in politics and the church, there were now classes in political blackmail, spin-doctoring, doubletalk and fund mis-management. Manipulation of statistics and Quango-use were also featured.
Naturally, demolitions and brewing still featured in Chemistry, but the lessons now also covered both how to give a rufi, and how to take a rape-kit in case of being rufi'd. More esoteric poisons like ricin, as used by the Russians, were also studied, along with rough and ready tear gas and how to make a makeshift gas mask in case caught in riots.
Putting on a full noddy-suit was one of the skills of the graduating classes, who were also able to sabotage or hot-wire any vehicle.
The headmistress, a Miss Yulia Shevchenko, was Cossack-raised, and had served in the Spetz-Naz before she defested to the West with the Olympic all-in black-belt netball team. Starting at St. Trinian's as games mistress, and working her way up through Chemical Warfare mistress and Espionage mistress, she was very happy to be headmistress.
Miss Shevchenko was a kindly woman who loved her girls – rather personally in the case of those sixth form girls who were that way inclined – though prospective parents often wondered if they did right to leave their precious princess with a woman who was built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, with a face which looked as if it had contacted a T72 at full speed, and had won the encounter.
Mrs. Granger, however, was an old girl, and she felt that the St. Trinian's experience would be good for Hermione.
She only hoped that Hermione would not be bad for St. Trinians.
It would be a shame if it became a regular school with academic ambitions.