A Dramatic Ridonculous Race

by The Legendary Dragon Reaper

With Chris McLean rotting in prison, it seems like the era of Total Drama has come to an end. However, numerous contestants flock to other shows, and some find themselves in yet another race around the world, and they'll make some new friends along the way. Some of them may even find love.

11. I Love Ridonc and Roll

(I Love Ridonc and Roll)

I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited or followed this story since I last updated it.

Cody Fanatic: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Sorry it took so long, but life can be a real pain sometimes. Noah is a favorite for a lot of reasons, so him being your favorite part really isn't that much of a surprise. I'm pretty sure the "not said out loud" was just meant to be another joke about him making a fool himself in front of Emma, but I wouldn't mind hearing what it was either. I'm not going to say anything about who's being eliminated next for the sake of spoilers, so you'll just have to wait and see. I really enjoy writing outthe interactions between Cameron and Lightning as well.

SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I actually was pretty fond of the canon episode myself though. Given what they've been through up until now, I figured that Cameron and Lightning were due to win a leg of the race. Kitty saying Owen is an icon and that anyone who hates him has no soul is pretty much just restating my own personal opinion of him, and I still stand by it. Also you're right about that story with Carrie and the worm, in his fic it would have to be Bridgette who made the dare, but as she said in the chapter, it wasn't something that she was particularly proud of.

: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I already have mentioned Leshawna and Trent reacting to Noah having a crush, but yeah I could stand to show more of their reactions to the whole situation.

Smallvillelover: Sorry but I don't mean to make you guys wait, or anyone really. It's just that I have a lot of stuff going on in real life.

Frosty Wolf: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. I get what you're saying about the Rockers, but I still think they were among the genuinely nicest characters in the Race, maybe even the series as a whole. I figured I would try and give Rock a little bit more depth to him, and based on your reaction I think it worked, so I'm glad. That one cartoon Rock was talking about was actually referring to Hot Wheels Battle Force 5, a show I'm pretty fond of.

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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race: Our teams ended up getting skewered when we took the next part of our race to the heart of China, Beijing to be more specific, and even though a very idealistic man once said that love conquers all, it would seem that a bromance can be counted as that as well, and be just as effective. The Brains & Brawn duo of Cameron and Lightning finally managed to claim their first win, and while it was both sweet and kind of painful to watch the Rockers try as hard as they did, they ended up totally crashing in a way that was honestly kind of embarrassing. But lucky for them it turned out to be another non-elimination round, so they got the chance to live to fail another day. We still have 12 proud teams remaining in the running for the million dollar prize, and now the time has come for us to send one of them packing, or maybe not, we don't want to spoil anything just yet, because the time has finally come for the next exciting installment of… the Ridonculous Race!"

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One intro later…

"And here we are again." once the intro had come to an end, Don started off the new episode in front of the Chill Zone from the previous leg of the race "The Chill Zone from the previous leg of the race sits atop the majestic Great Wall of China, so that will make it today's starting point, and as always, the winners from the last episode are the first ones that get to grab a tip from the first Don Box, in this case Cameron and Lightning."

Sure enough, Cameron pushed the button on the Don Box and pulled out a tip, which he then proceeded to read "Hm, this is rather peculiar."

"What are we looking at?" Lightning tried to peer over Cameron's shoulder.

"Just give me a moment and I'll let you know. You seem rather… hyperactive today."

"We can't just up and give up our lead. We finally got in first place for once, and I say the two of us have gotta keep that streak."

"And we will by maintaining the same strategy we had initially, maintaining our composure and working together to combine our efforts." Cameron patted Lightning on the arm, then held up the tip to him "It says that we have to fly to Oulu."

"We going back to Hawaii?"

"No."

"The Bahamas?"

"No."

"The Galapagos?"

"It's not on an island or any chain of islands. Oulu is in Finland."

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"Yep it's just like Cameron said, Oulu is located in Finland, a European country that is home to countless coffee drinkers, cellphone users and the most saunas per capita. That in itself is where the remaining 12 teams are going to be heading. To be more specific, they'll be heading to the naked Don Box in nothing but a towel, something I was very much against when they told me as I would like to make perfectly clear, at the piping hot saunas of the Apena Pele Spa. After all, why should you have to suffer in the cold when you could suffer in the heat?"

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Now for the rest of the teams…

"So we're going to Finland. Yay." Ennui read the tip and glanced over at Crimson "You know that Finland is a paradise. After all, they're known to have 4 months of total darkness."

"Not to mention the fact that goth is mainstream there." Crimson pulled out her phone and held up a certain picture "This is one of the guys from KISS, the one known for the tongue. He ran for office and won, several times."

"This actually may get me to show genuine emotion. Let's go get a cab, I think the other teams are already there."

"TAXI!" as if to illustrate this point, Spud had taken it upon himself to rip off his shirt and start waving it around like a flag, which actually managed to flag a cab down.

"...Case and point. Way to commit though."

"Hey thanks guys." Spud glanced over at them and gave a grin "See Rock asked me to try and step up my game on account of how I usually screw everything up. We were all "dude" and stuff for like an hour, that's pretty much how it went down."

"Huh. Cool."

"Yeah. Anyway the cab is here, see you guys later." and so he leapt into the cab "How we doing man?"

"So far so good, first place here we come!" Rock caught him in a quick fist bump "We're so gonna own this one."

"You know it dude. Hey guys, anyone wanna get a ride?"

"Wait what? No no no-" Rock's protests were cut short by the Performers, Brains & Brawn and the Goths all crammed their way into the cab, and then it got on its way "Yeah, a pretty big part of me thinks that I should've seen this coming. Hey here's a thought, since me and Spud gave the lot of you guys a lift, maybe we can try and have a rocking alliance or something you know, so any of you guys want in?"

"No." was the simultaneous chorus from the four other teams.

"Alright alright, but you can't blame a dude for crying."

"Oh hell to the yeah, a killer alliance rocking our way to victory!" Spud didn't get the hint and pumped a fist in false triumph "Okay just gonna give a quick heads up to the team, I've got a lot of baggage going against me. I'm super gullible and I get distracted really easily, and I cannot say no to a dare to save my life."

"Dude!"

"What?"

"Oh yeah, that's good to know." Leshawna shot a smirk over at Trent and caught him in a quick fist bump "Definitely gonna be good to know later on."

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"All 12 teams are on the same flight en route to Finland, and thanks to the magnificent powers that come with editing, they've now arrived in Oulu and are en route to the Don Box that I still don't approve of the attire of. And it looks like the Reality TV Pros are the first team to reach the Don Box itself."

"This is totally awesome, we're the first ones here!" Owen and Noah were the first team to reach the Don Box "We're totally gonna rock this one!"

"Pull back a few notches chubby buddy, we don't know what the challenge is yet" Noah pushed the button on the Don Box and pulled out the tip "It says here that it's an All In, something called Finish Spa Day. Each team are gonna have to sit inside of a dry sauna-"

"Alright that's epic!"

"But do it fully clothed at the highest heat possible for a total of 10 minutes, and they can't leave until they're done." Noah glanced back to see Owen stripped down to his underwear, and his usually dull expression turned even moreso "Dude seriously?"

"Uh… that's less awesome but okay."

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"Yep, the challenge pretty much describes itself. Each spa hut has just enough room to cram in 2 teams at a time, and the countdown for 10 minutes isn't set to start until both of the teams have been crammed inside. After the 10 minutes are up, teams will then have to collect their tips from the next Don Box by crossing the semi-frozen river."

"Alright come on little buddy, let's do this thing!" Owen finished putting his clothes back on and prepared to take off running for one of the spa huts, only to be stopped by Noah grabbing him by the back of the shirt "Uh… what are you doing little buddy?"

"Nothing, just trying to multitask." Noah gave a shrug "I figured that as long as the two of us are in first place, maybe we'd be able to wait a minute for another team like, oh I don't know, Emma and Kitty?"

"Do I mind? Of course I don't mind, it can't be that long of a wait. I just jinxed us big time didn't I?"

"More than likely, but I do feel like I'm making some headway with Emma. I've learned from spending so much time watching Cody that constantly being in her face isn't going to work, seeing how girls hate that and they'll probably hit you in the crotch. Gwen did it to him enough times, and if it wasn't to him it was usually to Chirs."

"Yeah, but to be fair Izzy did it to me a lot. Then we talked it out, worked it out, made out a lot and now we're married."

"I'm still as shocked as I know everyone else to be by that, and I was there. Anyway, going back to the whole Emma thing, I have to talk to her like she's an actual person. But I already made a promise to you and to myself that I wouldn't let it get in the way of the race. The biggest goal that I have right now is Emma- I mean winning the race and getting the million dollars."

"Uh huh, yeah sure it is."

"Alright man, first place here we come, rock and roll!" Rock and Spud suddenly bolted past the two of them and ran into one of the spa huts.

"Now we're in second place."

"Take it easy chubby buddy, we're gonna get there." Noah idly patted Owen on the arm, only to be met with the Goths running into the same spa hut as the Rockers, with the door closing behind them.

"Now we're in third place."

"Okay, that one's on me. But at least we're still in the top three." they were quickly met with the sight of the Adversity Twins, Ice Dancers, Performers and Brains & Brawn all running past them into the next two spa huts "(Bleep)."

"Now we're in seventh place."

"Yeah I'm just gonna shut up now, but in all seriousness, where in the hell are they?" then he looked over to see the Sisters standing a few feet away "Asked and answered. Hey now, how's it going? So the tip said that it's two tips per sauna, and would you look at that, we actually make up two teams. I say we do it."

"A sauna together huh?" Kitty shot a sly look over at Emma "If you ask me, this is gonna turn out to be pretty hot."

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2 minutes later…

"Oh god, it's too hot…" Kitty let out a pained groan as she wiped some of the excess sweat off her face "How long have we been in here?"

"For about 10 seconds." Emma told her dryly, earning another series of pained groans "Yeah I know."

"Yep." Noah on the other hand took the chance to scoot over towards Emma "So-"

"Too hot to talk, way too hot to talk."

"Okay then, fair enough." Noah then scooted back over towards Owen "So honest opinion, am I making headway?"

"Oh yeah totally, and all it cost us was our lead." Owen gave a wide grin, earning a dry and pissed off look from Noah "What?"

"What the hell is your problem, we both know you like him so just-" Kitty was promptly cut off by Emma's hand being slapped over her mouth, which she promptly removed "Okay now that's just rude."

"Well don't spout on about that stuff and I won't have to." Emma hissed at her, keeping her voice low "Noah doesn't know that yet and I have no intention of letting him find out. If I'm gonna ask him out then it's gonna have to be after we win the race, okay?"

"Oh yeah, you're totally gonna ask out Noah."

"Kitty!"

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Meanwhile, in another spa hut…

"Oh sacre bleu…" Jacques let out a graon as he wiped some sweat from his head "I will never understand why ice dancing clothes have to be so well insulated? You know Josee I have to be honest with you, that good luck charm of yours might be broken."

"And I say that it's not." Josee tucked away her lava rock as she looked over at Jacques "The only real competition we have at the moment are those weakling twins over there, and it's only a matter of time before they let themselves get destroyed by the heat."

"You know we're only sitting like two feet away from them right?"

"Yeah, we actually heard all of that." as it turns out, both Mickey and Jay were sitting just a few feet away from them, completely unaffected and not even sweating "And we're actually doing just fine, thanks."

"Wait a second, how are you-"

"Oh see, me and my brother suffer from a rare condition that people call temperature dyslexia. It means that neither of us can feel either hot or cold. Sure we get burns and frostbite a lot, usually without really nothing either of them, but I say we're going to own this challenge!" and so he tried to catch Jay in a high five, only for both of them to miss "Uh… I kind of imagined that one going differently."

"You two are new to high fiving each other aren't you?"

"Pretty much yeah."

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"As the remaining teams pair up and get cooking in the spa huts, some of them take the chance to try and unwind from the stress of the race, while others take the chance to talk about their new strategies for the race itself. Or just make some small talk in general."

"Okay so… I was thinking maybe a new song…" Trent glanced over at Leshawna, panting from the heat and exhaustion he was feeling "Maybe about squirrels…"

"They already… got those about chipmunks…" Leshawna breathed a heavy sigh "You know you might… get sued…"

"No no see… it's because they're squirrels… They're cousins… Wow, we really gotta… get the hell out of here…"

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30 seconds left on the timer of a certain spa hut.

"Okay dude… we're almost there…" Rock glanced up at the clocked and wiped a fair amount of sweat from his face "Just about time to jet dude…"

"Oh yeah, that's great…" Spud let out a groan as he glanced over at the Goths "This heat has gotta be getting to me now… it looks like the two of them are melting."

"Hey come on dude, you gotta chill out a little bit. You binged Danny Phantom like I did, you know that goths don't sweat, they just simmer so- HOLY SON OF A (Bleep) THOSE TWO ARE MELTING!"

"You were right the first time. Goths don't sweat, we simmer." but then Ennui and Crimson took a look at each other and let out a horrified gasp when they saw their makeup running, so once the timer finally finished its countdown they took off running as fast as they could.

"And so the race for first has officially begun, some of them taking off fast, but others are taking their sweet time."

"Alright see you guys, good luck in the race!" once their timer ended, Mickey and Jay bade a fond farewell to the Ice Dancers as they took off, leaving them to fall face first into the snow in an instant.

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Meanwhile, in another spa hut…

"Oh thank the great god above…" Kitty let out a sigh as she picked up a bucket of what looked like water and dumped it over her head "Yeah that feels so much better. I gotta admit I am kind of surprised, I didn't know that dry saunas had water."

"Oh really, I think I'd better get some of that too." Emma reached for a nearby bucket, only to be stopped by Noah grabbing her by the hand "What are you doing?"

"Stopping you from making a big mistake." Noah told her dryly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean those buckets aren't full of water. That's actually Owen's sweat."

"...What?"

"Yeah…" as it turns out, Owen was actually sweating enough to fill multiple buckets with the stuff at the same time "I am a human sweat volcano…"

"Uh…" and that was enough to make Kitty run out of the hut screaming at the top of her lungs the instant the timer hit zero.

"Need the cold!" Owen wasn't much better, given that he shoved Noah and Emma out of the way as he bolted out of the hut himself.

"Must perseverer… greatness awaits us… our destined victory…" Josee and Jacques were both still reeling from the heat and crawling towards the river, only for the former to be met with karma in the form of Kitty running over her head "Okay now that's just rude!" she was met with it again, this time from Owen, Noah and Emma "You (bleep) are gonna pay for this!"

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Meanwhile, with the frontrunners…

"So here we are." it didn't take long for Ennui and Crimson, their faces still melting but not as fast as before, made their way to the edge of the river "This is the semi-frozen river."

"GET OUT OF THE WAY I NEED THE CLEAN!" this was when Kitty suddenly crashed into the Goths and sent all of the three tumbling into the river, where she promptly began scrubbing herself in a frenzy "So unclean… fat guy sweat seeping into every corner… It feels wrong in so many ways…"

"CANNONBALL!" Owen promptly leapt into the frozen river, only to come back up encased in a layer of ice "So cold…"

"Okay, holy crap." this was when Emma and Noah finally reached the water, only to end up taking in the scene before them "Yeah that looks way too cold for anyone to deal with."

"Oh please, if you've seen Total Drama you know that he's been through worse, not to mention he's christened himself as the Naturalist on more than one occasion. Just wait here and I'll show you myself." and so Noah promptly leapt in, only to burst back up shivering "S-See? Besides, I've survived worse."

"Yeah well, I haven't."

"Oh… Hey wait I've got it, just ride on top of Owen!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Hey he's the Hunter, the Naturalist, various other nicknames I mock him about every now and then, and besides he's handled worse and accidentally put me through worse."

"But doesn't that count as abuse on some level?"

"Some people may call it abuse, I choose to refer to it as payback for the years of bone-crushing hugs that literally almost crush my spine into powder. I'm not even exaggerating either, the doctors said that if he keeps doing it then my spine could be damaged beyond repair. To make a long story short, just get on him."

"If you say so…" and so Emma hesitantly stepped onto Owen's head, causing him to sink beneath the water.

"Now do you see, he's gonna be fine. Probably."

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Meanwhile, on the other side of the river…

"Yes, we're in first place!" Mickey and Jay pulled themselves out of the river once they reached the other side, and the former pulled out a tip from the Don Box "It says that we have to head to downton Oulu and get ready to air out our rock on. I'm not sure what that means, but I hope that you're not allergic to rocks."

"Knowing us, there's a pretty good chance that I am." Jay gave a shrug as he pulled a list out of his pocket "To be completely serious though, I should probably go ahead and check my records just to be sure."

"Yeah that's probably for- What the?!"

"What?" then he followed Mickey's gaze, and his eyes widened "Woah…"

"So cold… and not in a good way…" as it turns out, Ennui and Crimson were crawling their way out of the river, the only problem being that their makeup had been washed off, the same with their wigs, and they started screaming in terror when they saw each other, as well as their own reflections "My face!"

"Wow…"

"Don't look at me, I'm a hideous monster of the daylight!" Crimson dove behind the Don Box in terror.

"Uh…" Jay and Mickey shared a look, then glanced over at the Goths "You know if it helps, I do have a few paper bags stuffed away in my pocket. I mean we tend to get a lot of motion sickness along with everything else, so…" he pulled the paper bags out, only for them to be snatched away in a matter of seconds "Does it help?"

"In some ways." Ennui finished putting his bag on and glanced over at them "It is a big obstacle for our relationship though."

"How so?"

"Me and Crimson have only been dating for about three years, so it's only natural that the two of us have never seen each other… un-gothed."

"Really?"

"And it feels horrible to be so… bare." Crimson shuddered underneath her bag "I feel like a dead body that got washed up on shore, but not in a good way."

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Meanwhile, at the start of the river…

"This does trigger a sizable amount of somewhat fond memories…" Cameron was shivering just as bad as everyone else as he gazed down at the semi-frozen river "Of course most of them were in life-threatening situations."

"You talking about Total Drama Revenge of the Island?" Lightning glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I was actually referring to the events of the challenge that took place at Mount Looming Tragedy. Speaking personally, I was quite partial to Mount Looming Tragedy, at least when it's compared to the various other unrealistically dangerous locations on the island."

"Like the mutated mine."

"Or the mutant forest."

"Or the colosseum Chris named after himself."

"Or Boney Island. Wow, now that I speak of such things out loud, it really does raise a number of questions about why we agreed to take part in such a show."

"And how in the hell Chris has never been arrested. Before the end of the season I mean."

"That as well. Anyway the other teams are coming, perhaps we should get moving."

"Works for me, so how about I swim in the river and you just stand on my head?"

"Will you be able to support my weight on your head?"

"What weight? You weigh less than a doll."

"...Yes, that has been established. Let's try it out."

"Works for me." so Lightning leapt into the water, and once he rose back up Cameron stepped onto his head, and the two of them began making their way across the river.

It was around this time that Rock and Spud showed up at the start of the river, with Leshawna and Trent right behind them "Alright it's go time Spud, now let's get to it. First place here we come!"

"Alright dude, here I go." Spud braced himself as he prepared to jump in, when…

"Hey Spud, you see that seal over there?" Leshawna pointed to where a baby seal sat on a nearby patch of ice.

"Yeah?"

"I totally dare you to kiss it."

"Uh… You know we really gotta go and-"

"Okay, double dare."

"...Huh."

"Well?"

"You know there's this one lesson that I've learned over and over again. That lesson is that if something sounds like a bad idea, looks like a bad idea, and requires someone to double dog dare you to do it, it's gonna be (bleep) crazy!"

"So you're gonna do it?"

"(Bleep) yeah I'm gona do it!" so Spud dove into the water and swam over to where the baby seal sat on its patch of ice "You know he's just a cute little guy, for all we know there's a pretty good chance that he kisses people all the-" he didn't get a chance to finish before the baby seal pounced on him.

"Woah."

"Yeah not gonna lie, did not see that one coming." Rock glanced over to see the baby seal chomping down on Spud's head.

"No kidding. You ever get the feeling you see something before."

"Yeah, it's called deja vu." Trent told her, earning a raised eyebrow from Leshawna "What, I took French in high school and I got straight A's. Anyway I get what you mean, that kind of reminds me of how that one baby seal from the Yukon kept torturing DJ throughout Total Drama World Tour."

"You know what's really crazy? I think that might actually be the same baby seal."

"Are you kidding me? How the hell did that thing get all the way out here?"

"Dude, we're talking about a baby seal that went all the way from the Yukon to Paris, then from Paris to Africa, and then from Africa to the Mexican border, all of which was on a spree of rage and vengeance against DJ before he tackled that Latino (bleep) Alejandro into the sea. Do you really think it's that much of a stretch that it could make it all the way out here?"

"...Yeah okay, fair enough. Now let's go already." and so the two of them promptly leapt into the semi-frozen river.

"Okay, so delayed pain reaction over in 3… 2… 1." Rock was instantly met with Spud running around screaming like a maniac, and so he let out a sigh as he glanced over at the camera "Okay it's official, we're both royally (bleep)."

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One commercial break later…

"Okay, downtown Oulu, not what I was expecting." Noah and Owen stepped out of a cab in front of a large stage with a Don Box standing next to it "I wasn't sure what exactly to expect, but it definitely wasn't this."

"Forget about that little buddy, it's like we walked into a show." Owen told him "I wonder who's gonna be performing."

"Give me a second and we might find out." Noah walked up to the Don Box and pushed the button, then read the travel tip out loud, with the Adversity Twins and Sisters doing the same right after "Actually from the looks of it, it's gonna be us. The tip says the next challenge is going to be a Botch or Watch. Each team is gonna have to battle it out in the national sport of Finland, which just so happens to be air guitar. You gotta be (bleep) kidding me."

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"Contrary to what Noah believes, we're definitely not kidding. In this Botch or Watch challenge, the member of each team didn't pull the rickshaw during the race in Beijing will have to perform an air guitar solo in front of a live audience of goths who have no lives of their own. Either that or ridiculously intense patriotism I guess. Anyway, performances will be judged by the applause meter fitted above the stage, and the key is to get it all the way into the red zone. If you manage to get the crowd into a maximum frenzy with your rad moves, and then teams can rock on over to the Chill Zone located behind the stage. However, if they bottom out then they have to go all the way to the back of the line to try again. Teams can only head over to the Chill Zone once they finish the challenge, and the last team to do so may be cut from the race entirely."

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Meanwhile, with the frontrunner teams…

"Okay, so to sum up…" Emma watched as Kitty was trying to practice for her performance, to no avail "You look like a lunatic with no life of your own, but I'm pretty sure that's what we're supposed to be going for, so I say stick with it."

"Air guitar… of all the things." Noah let out a groan "Great, even the Cameron wannabe back there is getting into it more than me."

"I thought he did a pretty good job on the powerslide." Owen commented, earning a dull look from Noah in response "What? He put in the heart and stuff."

"That's part of the problem with why I have to be the one to do this. Air guitar is pretty much just all of the coolness of not being a musician combined with all of the lameness and stupidity of jumping around like one of those idiots that try to imitate Dragon Ball in real life. And yes, I'm related to at least four of them."

"I know what you mean, this challenge had Owen written all over it."

"Forget about it chubby buddy, right now I think there's only one thing to do. I'm gonna have to channel my inner Owen."

"Oh yeah, now we're talking little buddy!" the two of them fist bumped.

"Anyway it's go time, wish me luck." so on that note, Noah made his way out onto the stage and started doing his thing, only to find everyone else watching him, Emma included, and he quickly lost his nerve, which led to him tripping over a wire and crashing into a tree of speakers, causing it to fall over on him.

"NOAH!" being the good friend that he was, Owen rushed out to shield Noah from the impact, only to end up falling on top of him "There you go little buddy, safe and sound." and then the tree of speakers fell on them "Ow."

"Safe from the speakers, yes. Safe from you, not so much. Part of me wants to call it karma for that terrible sound pun."

"What sound pun?"

"Exactly." Noah let out a groan as the applause meter bottomed out, and he let out a sigh the two of them dug themselves out and made their way off the stage "Funny thing really, it's kind of hard to cut loose and dance like nobody's watching when someone is actually watching."

"Hey come on, I was just trying to be supportive." Owen was met with a dull look, and then the lightbulb went off in his head "Oh, you were talking about Emma weren't you?"

"Sure go ahead and say it for all the world to hear, not like I'm trying to be discrete about this or any- Woah."

"What?"

"Take a look."

As it turns out, Ennui and Crimson were making their way to backstage, still with the bags over their head, talking to each other about their current predicament "It's not that I don't love who you are on the inside, because I truly do, but the problem is that I just can't bare to look at you as you are on the outside right now."

"I know, I feel the same way." Crimson shuddered at the thought "Just looking at that perky nose you have underneath your mask makes me want to vomit, and not in a good way. I just don't think I have it in me to stand it."

"I guess that means we have to stick with the bags." and so they prepared to make their way onto the stage.

"Yeah hold up a second you two." Don was quick to stop them "Sorry about this guys, but only contestants competing in the Ridonculous Race are allowed back here."

"But it's us, I'm Ennui and this is Crimson."

"There's no way that's the case, because I'm not even remotely creeped out by the two of you being in front of me."

"But we have a camera crew with us." Crimson gestured to the camera crew behind them "You see?"

"...Okay then, I guess that checks out. Anyway to the back of the line, teams compete in the challenge in the order they arrive." and so Don promptly walked off.

All the while, Noah and Owen were watching the scene unfold from afar "So yeah, I guess that's happening."

"And what's worse is that your crush on Emma just got both of us crushed." Owen pointed out, earning a dull look "I'm just saying."

"It's not that much of a setback. Sure we might be stuck at the back of the line now, but at least we're still in the top three." Noah paused when he looked ahead and saw all of the remaining teams (minus the Rockers) standing before them "And by that I mean almost every other team is ahead of us now. Aw crapbaskets."

"Well it looks like I'm up, wish me luck guys." Mickey started to make his way out onto the stage.

"Word to the wise fellow stringbean, keep an eye out for the tree of speakers. I can tell you from personal experience that they tend to fall."

"Tree? Fall?!"

"...Oh joy, so what's the sob story behind this one?"

"Pure and unholy trauma!"

"And a lot of bad memories." Jay let out a sigh "See when Mickey was 10, he managed to get a part in the school play. He was cast as a tree, but then when the music started playing he tripped over his own roots, I still don't really know how, and he took out the whole set. The whole thing ended up crashing down and landing right on top of him."

"Seriously?"

"You never forget what happens with your first concussion. It's all of the ones that come after that become a giant blur." Mickey shuddered at the thought as he hesitantly made his way out onto the stage, only to end up catching sight of the various trees of speakers spread throughout the stage that made him freeze in terror, causing his applause meter to bottom out and for him to get dragged off the stage in a comical fashion.

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"One by one the teams are trying, and by that I mean failing miserably, to complete this Botch or Watch to the point where it's pretty much disastrous. It seems like there isn't a single team out there that can air out their rock on. I don't really know if that made sense. Anyway, even when they manage to get a groove on they end up tripping over it, and if it's not that, then it's just that they lack that special something that they need. I think the real question isn't who's going to pass this challenge first, it's whether or not they're going to pass it at all. I mean come on, this whole thing is getting pretty pathetic."

"Wait a second, Crimson is that you?" Carrie and Devin were among the first contestants to see the new Crimson without the paper bag over her head "I mean wow, it's kind of a surprise to see you with your skin looking so… flesh colored, and I love your hair too. You look great."

"Okay okay, just stop." Crimson started recoiling and backed away a few feet as she put her paper bag back on "You guys are throwing a lot of positive emotions my way, and I don't know what to do with that."

"Crimson wait." Ennui gripped her by the shoulder "It's okay, this is just the world has to be like for us now. But you don't have to worry, because I think I know how to handle it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. We're quitting."

"...Okay that works for me, let's go." and so the two of them walked off.

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Several more on stage failures later…

"Oh thank god, we're finally here." this was when Rock and Spud finally managed to show up on the scene, the former supporting the disheveled form of the latter "Hey so how's it going with the challenge, we haven't lost yet have we?"

"Not yet but the night is still young, I have faith." Josee told him dryly "Anyway this challenge is a Botch or Watch."

"Yeah I know, this one is gonna be air guitar right? Man that's sweet, I can totally rock this one no problem!" and so he started doing an air riff on the spot.

"Actually no, you can't." Junior was quick to shut him down "This is a Botch or Watch and you were supposed to pull the rickshaw in China, so that means it's your buddy's turn."

"Wait what, you mean Spud? But needs time to recover from some kind of venom he got from that baby seal or whatever, if he goes out there then he's gonna botch it!"

"Yeah and we're all gonna watch it, and then mock you about it right before you get cut from the race." and so Josee promptly grabbed Spud by the arm and shoved him out onto the stage, where he immediately started getting booed by the crowd.

"Oh yeah this is gonna be bad, we are so totally screwed."

"Huh… music pumping… crowd booing… TIME TO ROCK!" Spud's eyes suddenly lit up as he started rocking out like a madman, earning a series of cheers from the audience and causing the applause meter to slowly but surely go up.

"...Then again, maybe not. This is awesome!"

"No kidding man." Trent glanced over at Rock "He seemed so… out of it this whole time, how the hell did he pull that off?"

"I know what you mean dude. All this time I was worrying about Spud being all out of his mind and never really using his head, but then I realized that's part of what makes him so awesome all the time! You go dude!"

"You know it dude, now light me up!" Spud shot a grin at Rock as he held out a hand, to which he was thrown, to which he opened it up and fartex across the crowd, using the lighter to spread it like a green wave of flames, causing the applause meter to rise until it maxed out, taking all of the other contestants by surprise.

"Wait a second… you mean we're actually allowed to fart?!" Owen was left slack-jawed as he shared a look with Noah "Oh man, why couldn't I be the one to do this challenge?"

"Personally I'm starting to count it as a blessing in disguise."

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Meanwhile, at the Chill Zone…

"Believe me, I'm just as shocked as the rest of you." Don watched as the Rockers rocked their way over to the Chill Zone "But in any case, it doesn't change the fact that we have the winners of this round, with the Rockers taking first place. I think I can confirm with absolute certainty that there isn't a single soul in Finland that isn't filled with joy at this very moment."

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Meanwhile, with the only souls that aren't filled with joy…

"So this is how it ends." Crimson let out a sigh as she glanced out the window of a cab "I just wish it didn't have to be like this. Both in the race and as us being goths."

"Yeah I know." Ennui looked particularly downcast from underneath his paper bag "As amazing as it was in Iceland and Transylvania, it comes to an end in our own gothic motherland."

"I guess it does."

"But you know… maybe it doesn't have to end like this. Maybe the two of us could try and accept each other for who and what we really are."

"You think so?"

"I think it's worth a try." so the two of them slowly took the paper bags off their heads and locked eyes with each other.

"Huh… you know this doesn't seem so bad."

"Yeah I guess and… Wait, look over there." he directed their attention to a nearby store with a window full of gothic attire and accessories "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh yeah."

"Good enough for me, now let's do this."

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"With the example set by the Rockers being kept fresh in their minds, the remaining teams are amping up their performances with some seriously rocking results, and one by one they've begun to rock their way over to the Chill Zone."

"And here they come." Don began counting off the remaining teams as they completed the challenge and reached the Chill Zone, starting with the Performers "Second place!"

Then came Brains & Brawn.

"Third place."

Ice Dancers.

"Fourth place!"

"Fourth again?!" and that was enough to make them break down crying, only to be promptly shoved aside as the next team showed up, this being the Surfers.

"Fifth place!"

Father & Son.

"Sixth place."

The Sisters.

"Seventh place."

The Stepbrothers.

"Eighth place."

The Best Friends.

"Ninth place."

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"By this point most of the teams have crowed surfed their way to the Chill Zone, and now the race to not come in last place has been narrowed down to the final three teams, so the overall question remains: Which pair is going to be rocked right out of this race?"

"Well that gets more humiliating every time." Noah let out a groan as he let himself get dragged off the stage again "Sounds like high school all over again."

"No kidding, how the heck did we go from first place to last place?" Owen was immediately met with a pissed off look from Noah "Oh yeah, right. Well look on the bright side though, I mean the Goths aren't even here anymore."

"Yeah well if the laws of the universe are any indication, that means they're probably going to show up any second now and- Holy (bleep)!"

"What?" Owen followed his gaze, and then his jaw dropped "Holy (bleep)!"

As it turns out, it was the Goths standing before them, now more gothed out than they ever had been before "Step aside, we came here to rock."

"Oh well there you guys are, you're not gonna believe this super cute preppy couple that showed up and said they were you. I wonder where they went."

"We can tell you for a fact, you will never see those two again. Now step aside and let us do our thing." so Ennui promptly made his way out onto the stage, flames blasting on one side, then on the other side, and then a single stroke of air guitar was enough to send the crowd into a frenzy that made the applause meter burst up to the max in an instant.

All the while, Noah and Owen shared a look with the Adversity Twins "Wow… okay, so that happened I guess."

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Meanwhile, with the Goths…

"Well that was a success." Ennui made his way towards the back of the stage, with Crimson by his side "I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do right now."

"I still can't believe that we were stupid enough to almost give up on each other because of what we saw on the outside." Crimson glanced over at him "What truly matters is the blackness that's hidden deep down in our souls, and not some stupid and superficial idea of appearances being what matter the most."

"Aw, that really was beautiful." it was then that they finally reached the Chill Zone "So overall, that went well."

"Yeah just great, I'm gonna have be having nightmares about it." Don noted dryly "Anyway the two of you are in tenth place, so you can go now."

"Right." and so the two of them made their way out of the Chill Zone, only to stop when they noticed Josee and Jacques sitting off to the side, the former holding her lava rock "Wait hold on, is that a genuine Hawaiian lava rock?"

"So what if it is?" Josee shot a scowl at them.

"That's pretty hardcore. It's common knoweldge that those things cast a shroud of darkness upon all of those who are foolish enough to plunder them from their sacred land."

"...What?"

"It curses anyone stupid enough to take them from their home land. Can we have it?"

"Why the hell would I let you have- Wait it does what now?"

"So let me be clear that I understand this…" Jacques levelled a glare towards Josee "You mean your good luck charm has been cursing us this whole time?! Oh well done Josee, you truly have outdone yourself!"

"Yeah yeah, yell at me later. Thanks for telling us, so how do we break the curse."

"You just have to toss the rock, anywhere in Hawaii." Ennui gave a shrug as he and Crimson just walked away.

"...Yeah, this next one isn't going to be fun."

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Meanwhile, backstage…

"I can't do it!" Mickey wasn't doing much better with his stage fright, given that he was curled up in the fetal position "I can't go back out there, if I go back out there then I'm gonna end up knocking the whole city down, I just know it!"

"Hey don't talk like that Mickey, you can do this." Jay gripped him by the shoulders "Look, I know better than anyone else that the school play turned out to be a disaster, but despite all of the stuff that went wrong for pretty much no good reason, which was just about everything now that I think ab out it, you were the best tree out there."

"You think so?"

"I know so, and everyone else said that you were a complete natural."

"Well if you believe in me bro… then let's rock!"

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Meanwhile, in another backstage area…

"Okay now you're getting ridiculous." Kitty didn't waste any time as she dragged Emma towards the backstage area "All you really have to do is tell Noah that you think air guitar turns you on or something, and that's gonna be enough to make him do better."

"No way, I can't do that!" Emma was quick to protest "If I blurt that out to Noah then he's gonna find out that I like him. If that happens then we'll up dating and falling in love, then that means we're gonna lose the race and the chance at the million dollars, which means I won't be able to pay for law school, which means he'll break up with me and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life crying into a bowl of cereal!"

"...Okay then, I see you've definitely thought this out in a way that doesn't make you sound like a freaking lunatic. And yes, I'm being sarcastic."

"Whatever, Noah is going to be just fine. It's not like Mickey is gonna finish it first, I mean he's got about as much edge to him as a piece of wet paper."

"Oh yeah, time for me to get my air guitar on!" this was when Mickey suddenly bolted past them with surprising levels of enthusiasm.

"...Then again, what the hell do I know? I can't just let Noah get eliminated like this, I have to do something."

"Actually you might wanna let me do it." Kitty told her, taking Emma by surprised.

"You want to do this? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, at least with me it's gonna be a more gentle way of doing it."

"What makes you think I won't be gentle?"

"Because you're blunt, snarky and full of yourself, and you usually don't care about the feelings of other people unless they're someone that's actually significant to you."

"...Wow, don't hold back."

"That was me holding back." so on that note, Kitty promptly made her way over to Mickey "Oh hey Mickey, you got a second?"

"Um, yeah sure." Mickey turned to face her, though he looked rather nervous "What's up?"

"Not too much, I just wanted to say good luck. I heard about that whole tree thing in your play when you were a kid, it's pretty impressive that you're doing this and it's actually really brave of you too."

"You think so? Thanks, that really means a lot."

"Yeah, so… Oh the hell with it." she suddenly gripped him by the shoulders and pressed her lips against his, then pushed him out onto the stage before she promptly walked back to where she found Emma staring at her with two raised eyebrows "Okay, done and done."

"Uh huh. Quick question." Emma grabbed Kitty by the arm and pulled her close "What in the name of (bleep) was that?"

"What, you mean kissing him? Is that a bad thing?"

"No it's not that, it's just… do you like him?"

"Would that be a bad thing?"

"No, it's just kind of a shock. I mean where the hell did that come from?"

"We got to talking a few times during flights and other parts of the race while you were off making eyes at Noah. He's a nice guy, and he's actually pretty cute. And frankly he's miles ahead of any of the (bleep) I see in school. Seriously, most of the guys just want a girlfriend because they wanna stick with the status quo or get high or get laid. Mickey's nice and cute, and unlike the rest of them, he's actually genuine."

"Huh. Wow, I… I didn't know you felt like that."

"Yeah well, you're not the only one with relationship stuff to deal with. You're just the one that needs the most help with it." there was a loud thud and lots of booing, and the two of them looked out onto the stage to see Mickey sprawled out on the stage, blushing with a dopey smile on his face "Huh."

"Well it's probably more effective than what I would've done. I would've just tried to use his fear of germs against him."

"That's just messed up. Anyway hold on one second." Kitty promptly poked her head out onto the stage "Hey Mickey, when this whole thing with the race is over, call me! Okay I'm ready sis, now let's go."

"Got it." and so the two of them started walking back off the stage, though as they did Emma let out a sigh "I have to admit that I do feel kind of bad about that."

"Somehow I'm not convinced that you actually do."

"Well we couldn't just let Noah get sent home so soon, I like him."

"Then here's a thought, why the (bleep) don't you tell him?!"

"I don't know, I just… I didn't realize just how much I liked Noah until it got to this point, as in the point where he might get cut from the race. I've been taking him for granted this whole time, but that's going to change from here on out."

"Sure you say that, but what if he's not into you anymore?" there was a pause, and then the two of them burst out laughing "I'm just glad you finally found a guy you like."

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Meanwhile, in the backstage area…

"Huh. So Kitty and Mickey locked lips. Not gonna lie, wasn't expecting that." Noah glanced over at the sight of Mickey being dragged off the stage, then let out a sigh "It does kind of suck on another level though."

"What do you mean?" asked Owen.

"Becuase now I owe Leshawna 20 bucks."

"Oh yeah, that. But wow, this might be the last chance to finish the challenge."

"But I can't do it alright, not if Emma's gonna be watching me like a hawk using those big black of eyes of hers… I just can't bring myself to-"

"Oh come on, get a grip already dude!" Owen's tone was sharp and loud, taking Noah and a few others by surprise "Do you think that Emma is gonna want to date a quitter?"

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Do you think she's really going to care if her future boyfriend is gonna get mocked or made into a meme for acting like a scrawny version of Owen?"

"Uh…"

"Come on little buddy, competing with you up until now has been the most fun ever. I can't think of anyone else in the world that I would want to race around the world with and eat eyeballs or catch homeschooled guys dressed like serial killers, or anything else that would probably kill us if these shows had any sort of logic or realism! I wouldn't trade these times together for anything else in the world, but if we lose the race here and now then it's gonna be over for us, and it's gonna be over for you and Emma. Is that really what you want?"

"Wow… Dammit big guy, I'm not really sure what to say."

"You don't need to say anything." Owen wiped away a few tears "Right now you just need to stop worrying about being some girl's hero and just… be my hero, okay?"

"...I gotcha chubby buddy, and I won't let you down. Not now." so with eyes burning with his newfound resolve, Noah made his way out onto the stage, glanced back to where Owen was watching over him, then started rocking out on air guitar, earning a series of cheers and applause from the crowd as the applause meter slowly but surely continued rising until it was all the way to its max "Yes!"

"Yeah now we're talking Noah, way to go little buddy!" Owen promptly rushed out onto the stage and hoisted Noah onto his shoulders "You did it!"

"Yep, now what are the odds that got Emma to like air guitar?"

"Well you got me to."

"Good enough for me." Noah let himself back onto the ground as the two of them started walking in the direction of the Chill Zone "That was way too close though."

"No matter, it's good to have you back little buddy."

"I know, I can't believe I let myself start simping for a girl so hard that it almost got us kicked off the race. Here I thought I swore I would never stoop to Cody's level of simping. I'm thinking that I need a break from Emma stuff for awhile."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I like her, but there's no chance I'm gonna let myself go that out of my (bleep) gourd over her like that again. But you know something Owen?"

"Yeah?"

"You're my hero too." he idly patted Owen on the arm, only to instantly be pulled into one of their typical bone-crushing hugs.

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Meanwhile, with the inevitable losers…

"And now comes the part of the job I only sometimes enjoy. Clearly this isn't going to be one of those times." Don made his way backstage and found the Adversity Twins on the floor, taking turns breathing into a paper bag "Twins, you both raced hard and you managed to overcome a lot of issues… that no one has ever heard of. But I'm sorry. You're out."

"Yeah, we kind of gathered that." Jay let out a sigh as he helped both himself and Mickey to their feet "You know we might not have won, but I'm still proud of how far we've come. Our doctor said that we would probably only last a week. Our physiotherapist said that we would only last a day."

"And our gym teacher just laughed in our faces." Mickey let out a nervous chuckle "But we did show them."

"That's true, and it's like Cameron said, we overcame a lot of doubts and insecurities, and we proved a lot of people wrong, so I think we can leave with our heads held high."

"Yeah, I think the two of us have come a really long way since- SPIDER!" then they saw a spider and started running around screaming at the top of their lungs, until they ended up crashing into each other and hitting the ground with two simultaneous loud thuds.

"Okay, I think that's enough of that." Don stepped over the unconscious forms of the Adversity Twins and took the chance to sign off the episode "7 teams have been cut from the race, but a full 11 still remain. The real question remains, which team is going to make it all the way and win the grand prize of one million dollars? There's only one way to find out, and that's to tune in next time for more of… the Ridonculous Race!"

A/N:

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming. Don't get me wrong, I like the Adversity Twins, I really do, but they had to go for the sake of the story. It was their time. On the plus side though, I did make their elimination less cringeworthy than the initial version was, or at least I tried to anyway. On the plus side, I got to give them a little bit of interesting interaction with the un-gothed Goths, as well as a few others like the Reality TV Pros, so that was fun. Also I got to pretty much confirm that the Kitty and Mickey ship is a thing in this universe, so to everyone that wanted to see that, you're welcome.

Oh yeah, and that one scene with Spud and the baby scene played out pretty much the same as in canon, except for one thing: I made it so that's the same baby seal that kept harassing DJ throughout my prequel story, A BFG's World Tour. I was watching the original episode for reference and I saw the scene with the seal, and I couldn't resist doing this.

Rankings:

Rockers- 1st

Performers- 2nd

Brains & Brawn- 3rd

Ice Dancers- 4th

Surfers- 5th

Father & Son- 6th

Sisters- 7th

Stepbrothers- 8th

Best Friends- 9th

Goths- 10th

Reality TV Pros- 11th

Elimination order:

LARPers - 18th

Tennis Rivals 17th

Geniuses - 16th

Vegans - 15th

Fashion Bloggers- 14th

Mother & Daughter- 13th

Adversity Twins- 12th