I feel like this chapter is too on the nose but, I guess that's what happens when you write a chapter in 3 days. *sad boy hours*

(I posted the last chapter at 3 something AM, now I'm posting this chapter at 4 something AM. Hmmmm, I'm seeing a pattern here.)

The world starts when the world ends.

That's a line Kurusu Akira ponders a whole lot.

It was the line Yaldabaoth had last spoken when Akira died the first time.

Surrounding him were the bodies of his teammates-his friends. He was the last one standing, barely. The faceless being spoke this last line to him, for his ears only; before ultimately crushing him.

Of course, when Akira woke up in the second loop, he was much too overtaken by joy that he got a second chance to right his wrongs and meet his friends again to even think about what was said. It didn't occur to him until much later that he was told such a weird phrase. At the time, the boy had simply brushed it off as the false god being cheeky with him. Pointing out that this is where the world he knew ended, and the god's new one began. And the boy was content with this conclusion ever since. It's not like he heard Yaldabaoth say it again at the end of that loop. It was the second and last time he even got to meet the faux god. (And if you asked him if that was a good or bad thing, he wouldn't be able to answer you.)

Now though…? As he lies down on his mediocre makeshift bed, he isn't so sure if he's alright with the notion. The thought no longer satisfies him and he fiercely feels that he is missing the bigger picture. Whether or not he's blind to it or it's hiding from him, he's unsure. It has to come to him one day though.

He sits up to stretch his back (the popping noises are oh-so-satisfying) and reaches over to grab the bottled water sitting on his floor. He takes a swig and wipes the residue off his chin.

He needed that.

Pulling out his phone for the purpose of checking it for the 1,000th time was getting repetitive (Wasn't everything?) and he wasn't sure what he was hoping would change. The MetaNav stares right back at him on the first slide of apps, swiping to the second mostly reveals time wasters he downloaded.

There is no third slide.

Hmmm.

He holds his finger down on the application and moves it to the left, it flies into the second slide, so he holds it to the left again, and a third, new, empty slide appears.

He leaves it there. Lonesome and all by itself.

He chuckles to himself, he just put an app in timeout.

Whatever, if the thing wasn't going to disappear (he had no intentions of using the damn thing) then he was at least going to move it to where he wouldn't have to see it every time he wanted to use his phone. It's the little things, you know?

The 20th rolls around without much enjoyment. Arriving at school early has him loitering a bit away from it. He has about 30 minutes to kill and he'd rather not spend that in an almost empty classroom, thank you very much.

He plays some generic chess app against an AI for the first few minutes when a surprise walks by. Ironically it's when he decides to look at the MetaNav, he quickly slides away from the offending red thing and pockets his phone. "Good morning Mishima-kun." It comes out more mumbled than he would've liked, but then again the boy didn't catch a wink of sleep at all last night.

"Oh, good morning Kurusu-san, you…" the shorter boy blinks as he trails off, "look terrible."

"Yeah, well I got hit by a bus, so…"

"What!?"

This gets a rise out of him. "I was joking."

"Ah."

He wipes the smirk off his face in flavor of asking him a question. "You always get here this early?"

"No, not really. I'm here to meet someone actually, in fact, I think I'm running late. I'll see you in class!" He gives him a half-hearted wave and Akira doesn't have the energy nor brain power to wonder who he's meeting with. He groans and goes back to occupying himself with his phone.

Class is boring and the students won't shut up as usual. His saving grace is seeing Ann and Suzui walk besides one another to have lunch. He's been eating up on the roof or skipping lunch altogether. (He doesn't want to eat in class where Ann [and now Morgana] can see him, because he is a coward.)

He's going to have to eat behind the school now. If the Phantom Thieves formed already, they should be using the roof as a hideout real soon. He'd rather not have them cross paths. He was already aching to meet them, and he's not sure how he'll be able to squish the urge if he faces them head on.

Great, if people see him eating lunch behind the school, people are going to think he's selling drugs. Then again, why does he care what they think? It's irreverent.

Like living in a loop.

His lunch today consists of a small thing of bean paste filled bread, a two-pack of almond cookies, and a marble soda. He needs to get a job in the near future if he's going to continue to buy from the vending machines. (He's going to run out of the cash he came here with by the end of the month.) And this time without the motivation of having to financially support the Phantom Thieves. It's all gonna be for himself. He wonders what that's gonna be like. I can't bank on getting money from shadows though. He's been in the depths of Mementos countless times, and he still doesn't know why or how the shadows carry money. Where the Hell does it even come from? How does it even count as legal currency?! These types of questions are important too, you know!

His spot besides a couple of bushes and back to the wall isn't very comfy and unfortunately, he can still see a couple of students. Meaning he can be seen as well. This place isn't idyllic, but it'll suffice for now.

After school he can't seem to find Mishima, which he has to admit, made him panic just a bit. He's worried his window of opportunity to befriend him is closing up. The last thing he wants is to be friendless this year. Then again, he might be overreacting. The boy already came up to him twice to talk, albeit short conversations.

Akira gives up and goes home, to which he's told to go upstairs because of the customers by Sojiro. Though the news stops him mid-sentence. The reporter on the TV speaks about another tragic death of some old rich man—and that's all Akira needs to hear before heading upstairs. He's heard of this time and time again already and knows exactly who's behind it.

Goro.

The name brings with it a bitter taste to his mouth, like copper.

No…

Akira lies in a puddle of his own blood, his movements are sluggish and lifting any part of his body feels like moving lead beams. The body next to him isn't moving anymore, it's own pool of crimson stains the ground. He tries to reach out a hand to him, tries to say his name in his final moments. But he can't reach over fast enough, and a deep muddled voice taunts him as his world goes dark.

It tastes like blood.

The next day Mishima looks distraught, mad even. Not a common look on him to say the least. They eat around his seat instead of Akira's (Ann is absent from her's once again) and the blue haired boy keeps checking his phone throughout. Akira should be offended, but that boy was always glued to his phone no matter what, so he can't blame him. "What's got you worked up in a pickle?"

"Pickle?" The boy mimics before biting into his food.

"I have more weird sayings hiding up my sleeve if you want."

"I think I'm good," he checks his phone one more time before setting it down, "sorry. I invited you to have lunch with me and I've been ignoring you."

"It's okay." Akira answers smoothly in autopilot. He tries to salvage his answer. "I ignored you a few days ago."

"Yeah, but you were obviously agitated about something." It's like the boy said it with meaning to, because he looks up at him in a breakneck speed accompanied by an 'oops' face.

Akira's glaze shifts the floor. He doesn't confirm or deny the statement. "You waiting for a bomb or something?" He asks without looking, without wondering.

"Uh, no… A text actually." He looks back at his phone, a rectangular void placed a tad bit too close on the edge of his desk. He bites his lip, a look of apprehension graces his features. "You ever felt that feeling you get when you really wanted to do something, but can't? And it's no fault of your own, the world just doesn't favor you?"

Akira crumples his wrapper and manages to aim it right into the waste bin. A few other classmates also having lunch in class make surprised noises. The boy wants to roll his eyes at them. Though he wants to keep them in his sockets, so he won't. "Hasn't everyone?" He has another question ready to roll off his tongue, but Mishima beats him to it.

"Right! Yeah, sorry. Don't know why I'm complaining." To his credit, Mishima looks absolutely embarrassed. Akira is genuinely surprised at the other's mini outburst.

"Everyone has a right to bitch, Mishima-kun. You shouldn't feel bad about it." What is he feeling bad about? Does it have something to do with Kamoshida? He grimaces when he thinks about that shitstain. He can't wait until that man has been removed from society.

The bluenette's cheeks have a tint of red to them (they just make the bruises on his cheek stand out more) and he rubs the back of his neck. "Right." He agrees, but it sounds hollow to Akira's ears. Wherever his attention might be directed, Akira definitely doesn't hold it.

Hmmm, go figures. He's too used to being adored by his friends. He needs to get his head out of his ass.

He pushes back his glasses from where they were slipping off his nose.

Memories of the last loop crop up in his head. He had tried to do 'everything right'. Follow the empty footsteps of the 1st time. But in doing so he had been, rather say, artificial and emotionally distant. His genuine touch was gone, and his friends weren't all as warm and welcoming because of it. He had noticed it too. He hated it, but this was the way it gotta be, right? They had to save the world. He had to push aside his personal gripes.

All for nought. He thinks. All for nought.

He still feels fury when he thinks about his most recent per-mature demise, but maybe…just maybe, a small part of him was thankful for it. Was he really willing to live in a world where he was more their leader than friend? It was all business, no hangs outs for the sake of it. No personal deep conversations, no late nights spent helping someone through a crisis. It was…so dispersonal. It was like akin to a game.

He knows exactly why he was like that. The blame is on him.

The rest of the month honestly starts to blur for him. His routine stays relatively the same. Wake up, get ready, go to school, hang or chat with Mishima a bit, go home, and sleep. What he can definitely discern, was that he was friends with Mishima by now. He still went on his phone too offend, and sometimes during lunch or after school he'd disappear and Akira couldn't find him.

But that's fine. The routine was unbearably normal. And for once, Akira was okay with that. That's what he wanted after all, normality. He wanted a break from all that magical bullshit. And boy did he get that fresh breath of air.

Until the 30th rolled around. The calling card was posted all over the bulletin boards at school. Kamoshida's palace had slipped his mind until he got this totally rude awakening. He also doesn't think he has ever cut this close to Kamoshida's deadline before. Although he has to admit, he's slightly amused that they had to;—

The stomach sinks, wondering if they were struggling that much they had to postpone it until the last reasonable day.

—it's kind of funny when you think about it. They're not as time efficient as when he was there. Though he guessed it can't be helped, less manpower after all. What else could one expect?

Students all around him whisper about the papers, some questioning if the rumors surrounding the teacher were true. Others voiced their confusion on who would pull such a juvenile prank. And he swears, he heard some comments hoping that this wasn't a joke.

Then the man of the hour himself came. In a fit of rage he starts ripping the calling cards off the board, swearing to himself and pointing accusatory fingers at students. "Was this you!? Or you?!" Teens squeak and squeal and run off. Akira flinches when the man raises his voice. And when he starts pointing fingers, he takes his chance to slip away too.

When he's finally hidden away in a hallway, mostly empty besides two students in the back; he finds his hands shaking again. And he curses to himself. He needs to calm down, he needs water. His throat feels unreasonably dry, like someone took sandpaper to it and went ham. He kneels over and gently places his bag on the floor (having a cat live in your bag for years makes this an automatic action). He begins rummaging through his belongings. His bottle is empty. Shit. This simple inconvenience is enough to have him feel that sharp pain in his eyes.

Was he really going to cry over that?!

No. That wasn't why he was about to spill tears.

He takes a deep breath and tries to remember where the nearest vending machine is. Maybe he should just hold up in a bathroom instead and splash water over his face. Maybe-

Suddenly there's a hand squeezing his arm and Akira makes a noise he would rather not have anyone hear. "Sorry Kurusu-kun! Didn't mean to scare you."

Ah, 'kun'. He won't admit how happy he got when the boy started using that instead of 'san' three days ago.

The hand manhandling his arm goes to rub circles on his back, the other thrusts a water bottle into his hands. "Here, you can have it." The voice isn't as meek as it usually is.

Akira attempts to formulate a response, maybe even say 'thank you'. But all that comes out is, "Hmm hmp." Eh, good enough. He goes to open the water bottle, but his hands are shaking too much and he can't seem to get a strong enough grip on the stupid little cap and-

Hands pry the drink from his fingers effortlessly, and breaks the seal. Mishima hands back the open offering.

Akira's a little embarrassed that he needed help for something that insignificant, so his gaze travels over his friend's shoulder. At the very end of the opposite hall was a trio watching them. They're haphazardly hiding with the turn of the corner. He could tell who they were instantly, Ann and Ryuji. He's not sure, but the third figure…

Ah, that's Suzui.

Ann seemingly notices that he sees them, for the very next thing she does is grab her friends and disappear behind the cover of the corner.

His sigh comes out more breathy than he would like, and gulps down the water.

Oh, that actually felt really nice, maybe he was a little dehydrated after all.

"Thanks." He mumbles as he wipes the residue off his chin with a sleeve.

"Of course." He nodded along as he talked. "I get those sometimes too." He goes to rub circles on his back again. "How are you feeling?"

Still horrible. He thinks, but the silence is enough of an answer for Mishima.

"We can sit down here for a bit." It was a statement, but sounded like he was asking for permission.

"No!" Akira protests. "Class is starting soon-"

"Well then, let's take you to the nurse!" The bluenette insists. "At least," he pauses, "until you've calmed down."

Akira is about to decline, but he still feels jittery, and he thinks any more talking would tighten the feeling in his chest more and unleash the waterworks. Maybe he did need to lay down, and skipping one class isn't going to kill him.

He knows that crap already.

The school nurse (whose name he could never seem to memorize) lets him lie down on one of the cots and shoos Mishima away with a note to avoid getting a tardy. He almost laughs at the sight, but doesn't.

Akira is awakened not by Morgana, not by his alarm, but a pinch. The school nurse tells him he has already slept through his first class and to go to his second. He shakes off the grogginess (not remembering when the Hell he fell asleep), wipes his clammy palms on the white sheets, and thanks the nurse for waking him. He gets waved off in response and he swears that the nurse was probably itching to smoke a cigarette. Sounded like it too with that cough.

Hmmm, or maybe he's just reading into this too much.

When he gets to class, he does arrive a few minutes late. He hands the paper slip to his teacher and Mr. Ushimaru huffs and stuffs it into his desk. "You're excused." He informs him like he already doesn't know that. "Go sit down." And like a good boy, he complies.

The anxious energy radiating off from Ann seems to grip his bone too. He spins his pencil like some early 2000s viral video to cope. Spoilers! It doesn't work. He doesn't think Ann could think any louder. Or maybe he just got a little too good at reading his friends. Even from behind. (Go figures, he's had to stare at her behind a lot—eh, not like that! Her backside!)

The thought crossing his mind makes him lose focus on the pencil and it slips. He tsks and turns around to see where it flinged onto… Oh. It was on the student's desk who sits behind him, Akira had always labeled him as "Green Pencil Case Boy" in his head. Because well, his pencil case is green and he never swaps it out. He thinks he's only ever talked to him like, sparsely in the 2nd loop…

Today was the day Akira realized he's A) has never spoken to the dude who sits behind him and B) doesn't know the dude's name. Call him sappy or whatever you like. But he died. Kurusu Akira watched his entire friend group die-after already losing Akechi-and he had died. So sue him if he was happy and joyful of the fact he had gotten a second chance! If he had a prep in his step, could you honestly fault him?! If he wanted to be more friendly and supportive than before, that's his decision. But he won't be extending his new mood and quite frankly, his new disposition on life only to his buddies. He could be nice to his classmates too. In fact, he'll talk to this dude right now!

The boy has sat behind him all year in his original timeline. And not once did the boy snitch. He had clearly been able to see that he had a cat stuffed into his desk, was texting on his phone constantly, was making lockpicks, and even 'bombs' per se. And yet! Not a single peep! He was the real MVP here and Akira made it his duty to at least learn his name. So today during a lull in the class, he turned around in his seat and looked at him.

The boy's posture goes noticeably more rigged at this. Akira internally winces, no doubt this kid has heard about the rumors surrounding him. He gives him a soft smile anyway, just to ease things. "Nice pencil case."

Wait a minute. What did he just say? That was so lame! Words Akira, use your words!

The kid with the dusty black hair blinked. "Uh, thank you?"

The raven locks eyes with the Green Pencil Case Boy, and boy, is it awkward. Akira quickly swipes his writing utensil from the other's desk. Papers and a textbook for today's busywork are haphazardly scattered on the desk, the boy's own pencil was still gripped in his hand. Akira finished his work ages ago, hence the pencil spinning. (As classwork was no longer a distraction from Ann.) He entertains the idea that he could try to offer him some help, but the bemused look on the teen's face and the whispers that the class started up when they noticed Akira, well, existing in the dude's direction; made him scrap the idea. "Sorry 'bout that." He mumbles out and promptly turns in his seat to face the front.

He hears a sigh of relief from behind him. Come on, I'm not that scary. He begrudgingly thinks. As he smacks the eraser part of his pencil to his desk, he vehemently attempts to recall the guy's name. But not much is coming to him. He knows that he learned it in that loop, they were friendly acquaintances at the very least. The only thing he recalls for sure is that green was a part of his family name. He remembers this fact, because he thought it was ironic with his pencil case being green and all. So it was Midori-something.

He can't recall.

When the school day is done, the raven can't leave fast enough. He knows Kamoshida's going to call in sick tomorrow, but he still refuses to be caught up in whatever rage he might have left before he leaves. He's nearing the exit when Mishima flags him down. Before the shorter boy can get in a word edgewise, Akira speaks in a low tone. "Walk with me."

He goes with it. "I just wanted to check up on you. Sorry I disappeared during lunch-"

"Nah, it's okay." He forgives dismissively. "You got other friends besides me."

"Yeah, but-I should've at least waited until I talked to you to leave."

It's almost cute how worried the other boy is. How long has Mishima known him in this timeline? 2 and a half weeks? Also, who are his friends? He's always known Mishima to be kind of a loner. He didn't hang out with much of anybody besides him and Ryuji.

He recalls earlier when he saw the trio watching them two from afar.

No way. It can't be…

The raven gives him some side eye, because he doesn't believe where his mind is jumping to. These conclusions are going to break someone's legs. He can already feel the tale-tell signs of an oncoming migraine forming. He just wants to get back to LeBlanc and take a nap before he sleeps.

"It's alright." His tone is lowered again, he stops, they're about a block away from the school. "I'm okay now. Earlier, that was…" He bites his lips. Hmmm, where's the bullshit excuse when he needs one? "I was just, uh…"

Mishima shakes his head. "You don't need to tell me. I'm just glad you're okay."

Is he though?

Akira nods despite himself, they bid each other farewells, and both go their separate ways.

He cannot wait for the 2nd of next month to arrive for several reasons.

It's funny that this chapter came out really fast, I'm supposed to be updating a story I've been annually abandoning after dropping only one update per year since like…2016. I told myself I was going to finish it this year. The other thing was a revamp I started 2 years ago. Only rewrote 2 chapters and didn't touch it until quarantine. I'm actually almost done, so I'm going to put this story off in favor of finishing that.

Now sure when the next update for this will come out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On the other hand, I just wanted to say thank you guys for the interest you've shown on this fic! (At least ya'll on AO3 and here.) It makes me giddy that people like my ideas, and it's been quite some time since I've had an active comment section. Haha.

I'll be honest, I randomly came up with the summary for this while I was bored, thought it was a really cool idea and wrote some notes in my plot bunny book. Wrote the 1st chapter in a week and yeah…

I have like, a solid 12 pages of notes and 2 loose papers of outlines/chats.

What I'm trying to say is that I went ham with this story and I usually don't make this much notes for a fic, and if I do it's over a few months.

I'm just glad that my over organizing wasn't for nothing! Thank you! :D

Edit: Months later I realize the flashback is really vague and some have misread it. It's in ref to the 3rd loop (I have tiny ref 'bout that in ch1), the person he's reaching out for is Goro. Shido is the one looming over them.