A Dramatic Ridonculous Race Chapter 25: Bahamarama, a total drama series fanfic

(Bahamarama)

OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla (ch 22): I figured the Surfers deserved another win, which makes it all the more insulting to the Ice Dancers, and that's always a win. The Performers aren't out of this yet.

OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla (ch 23): Cheaters never prosper, that's the right message to send out. Unfortunately I couldn't get rid of them just yet, so I had to make it a non-elimination round. But still, torturing them is a lot of fun too.

OmniIBIBUltraInstinctGodzilla (ch 24): Yeah, I hated having to get rid of the Best Friends, but at least they got to leave on a high note. The Goths are a fan favorite, and they are one of the easier teams to write into a story. Yep, the final showdown is upon is, and in the end, only one team can come out on top of the rest. As for who that is, you're just gonna have to wait and see for yourselves.

SuperSonicHeroes: Yeah, it's a shame I had to get rid of the Best Friends, but I did my best to give them a better sendoff than they got in canon. I chose to give the Ice Dancers more depth to their backstory because, as far as I believe anyway, a good villain is one that's entertaining to watch, but a great villain is one with more complex motives that the audience can genuinely sympathize with. The rivalry between the Ice Dancers and Performers isn't over yet, and I still have the Goths and Surfers as potential candidates. As far as the Wild Card theory goes, I'm glad that someone else remembers it from A BFG's World Tour. However, the thing to remember is that the Wild Card focuses on the least expected team to take down the villain, and the Ice Dancers pretty much have it out for everyone. You never know how things are going to turn out at this rate.

Spectacular Webhead 11: Right or not, I didn't want to spoil anything. As for who goes next, you'll just have to wait and see.

Piecesxoxo: Yeah well, I didn't think I could get rid of the Best Friends before their arc had the chance to play out all the way, but I definitely wasn't going to have them get eliminated because of an injury either. I'm glad you approrve of my portrayal of Jacques, and the Ice Dancers as a whole, as well as my portrayal of Trent and Leshawna. Putting Trent as her partner was a choice I made at the last minute, but I think it worked out for the best.

Magic Detective: Glad to see you're excited for my All Star fic. Unfortunately, you're gonna have to wait for awhile after this story is over. As for how the final four plays out, you'll just have to wait and see.

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"Last time on the Ridonculous Race: Our final five teams hit Argentina, or to be more specific, its capital city of Buenos Aires. The Surfers got targeted, but managed to pull their butts our of the fire, or water in their case, and avoided elimination. On another note, Devin finally managed to work up the guts to tell Carrie that he had fallen in love with her… right before they came in last and got cut from the race. But on the plus side, they got to leave on a high note, which is a lot more than can be said for most of the other teams. Speaking of teams, here's the lineup of who's left: the Ice Dancers, the Performers, the Goths and the Surfers. These final four teams have battled their way through 21 countries and crossed through 111 times zones up to this point, and frankly I can't help but think that the jet lag is going to be murder then this is over. But that can wait, because now the real challenge is about to begin. From this moment on, it's a non-stop race to the finish line, and if any of the teams slow down then they WILL be left behind. Let me welcome all of you to the first part of the grand finale of the most stupendous show in the history of television, which also means that Total Drama and Chris McLean can suck it! That'll teach you to steal my girlfriend in college! Anyway, this is… the Ridonculous Race!"

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One intro later…

"And here we are again." once the intro had come to an end, Don started off the first part of the finale in front of the previous Chill Zone, now equipped with a Don Box for the next leg of the race "Allow me to welcome all of you back to Argentina, the Andes to be more specific, and the winners from yesterday, in this case the Goths, have the honor of grabbing the first travel tip of the day. Others however, couldn't be more thrilled about it."

"Sure, like this is really that big of a deal." Josee let out a scoff from where she and Jacques just stood on the sidelines "We've already taken the gold four times, one for us and each of the three teams that we're going to crush underneath our heels! I mean really, the thought that any of them could stop us is just laughable? The Surfers?" she let out a scoff "The Goths?" a chuckle filled with malice "The Performers?" and then she let out a full on psychotic laughter.

"...Wow."

"She had a lot of caffeine this morning." Jacques told him dryly.

"I told the guys to switch the coffee to decaf, but of course they chose not to listen. Anyway, the Goths get the first tip, so go ahead and get on it. We've got a schedule to keep."

"Right." Crimson was the one to push the button on the Don Box and pull out a tip "It says that we're going to the Bahamas."

"That sucks." Ennui's tone was void of any emotion "Hawaii was bad enough."

"I won't object to that, so long as you don't start crying over it." Crimson was met with a chitter of agreement from Loki.

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"Yep you heard the Goth trio right, we'll be heading to the Bahamas, which just so happen to be known for its pirate history, stunning Caribbean beaches, and fluorescent pink flamingos. Our final four teams will have to take a flight to Nassau, and they'll find a Don Box outside the airport, dressed like a pirate, that contains their next travel tip."

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During the cab ride to the airport…

"So this is it." Crimson glanced over at Ennui "We're in the final four, and looming ever closer to the final round."

"And the million dollars." Ennui noted "Knowing the other teams, they're likely enraptured by the thought of the prize money."

"Normal people are consumed by greed so easily, it's disgusting."

"A point I will not object to. Still, if one team has to win, I would prefer it be anyone other than the Ice Dancers."

"Agreed. You seemed to be on the side of the Best Friends, you almost showed real sadness when they were eliminated."

"They were survivors like us, I felt a kinship. It's why I chose to help and encourage them when I did. It was mostly out of mutual respect."

"Fair enough. But still given that we're so close, we don't want to quit. Not yet anyway, we'll see how much we hate the Bahamas."

"Agreed. Though if we do win, we could buy a dark tower for Loki. And some carrots. He would like that." Ennui was met with a chitter of agreement from Loki.

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Meanwhile, with another team…

"Kind of crazy to think we're already so close to the finale." Trent glanced over at Leshawna "It makes you wonder if we can go all the way."

"Wonder be damned." Leshawna let out a scoff and pulled Trent in close "We've already come so far, I don't see any reason why we can't go all the way, so we're gonna show em what we're made of."

"And by them you mean the Ice Dancers?"

"Well duh, I'd rather stick a tire iron up my butt than let those two (bleep) win after all the crap they've pulled."

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Meanwhile, with the last team…

"This is totally awesome! Come on babe, let's get to it!" Geoff was quick to hail a cab, and then ushered himself and Bridgette inside, and they took off for the airport "Kind of crazy to think that we're already in the final four, but since we're so far in I say we gotta keep going all the way to the end!"

"Yeah, that sounds great." Bridgette breathed a sad sigh as she looked out the window of their taxi.

"You okay babe?"

"I'm fine, it's just… You know."

"Thinking about Carrie and Devin?"

"Yeah. It's not easy to see your sister get kicked off right in front of you."

"I know what you mean, it's like watching one of your bros get kicked out. But they left happy, and that's gotta count for a lot. Besides, we got a race to focus on, and we're gonna turn the Bahamas into the, uh… dammit, I wanna say Bro-hamas, but that doesn't work with you. Crap, I gotta think about this one."

"I appreciate the sentiment either way, thanks babe." Bridgette gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then they turned towards the camera "If you guys can see this, we're gonna be home soon, so hang tight until then."

"And just rest easy, if we win the race we'll split the million with you, a solid $50,000 for each of our teams!"

"...Again, appreciate the sentiment sweetie." Bridgette idly patted him on the back.

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Later, at the airport…

"HEY!" now rid of any cool she might have had, Josee stormed up to the clerk at the airport and scared the ever loving crap out of him "Two tickets on the next flight to Nassau, NOW! And one more thing, there are three other teams coming soon, and you are going to put them on a later flight! GOT IT?!"

"Um, Josee?" Jacques pointed to where the other teams sat on a nearby bench eating a series of soft pretzels… and holding their tickets.

"Are you (bleep) kidding me?!"

"I know, I wanted to get a soft pretzel too."

"I got you covered dude." Geoff held out a small bag to him "You want with salt or you gonna go for cinnamon?"

"Cinnamon please." Jacques accepted a pretzel… and then promptly ducked as Josee began to throw another comically massive tantrum "So how exactly did all of you manage to get here before us?"

"Turns out there was a map in the glove compartment." Trent told him "I took a look and found a shortcut to the airport, and I motioned for the other teams to follow us."

"Oh. Nice."

"Thanks. So what, you didn't know about the map?"

"No, I was mostly trying to help Josee when she started choking on her own spit after she spent a full 45 minutes doing her evil laugh."

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"All four teams are now on the same flight headed to Nassau. Once that flight lands, it becomes a non-stop race to the finish line, and from that point on, every single move the teams make will be crucial in determining their placing in the race."

"Come on come on, move it white boy, we've got a race to win!" Leshawna and Trent were the first team to reach the Don Box, and the former pulled out a tip "It's an All in. Arr matey, this way be treasure maps."

"Kind of getting vibes from that treasure hunt on Total Drama Island." Trent muttered "That was not a fun day, seeing how Heather got me kicked off."

"The big thing I remember from that is that (bleep) Chris blowing up my trailer. Anyway yeah, it looks like something to do with that."

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"Now we get to have a glimps at the pirate museum of Nassau. Our final four teams will travel to this location by taxi, and then search through the museum's grand display of petty theft for one of the four treasure maps branded with the Ridonculous Race logo, which have been hidden in said display for them to find, just like a good old fashioned treasure hunt, which is both easier and much shorter than your average arc of One Piece. Anyway, once they find a map, they will have to change into their swimsuits and then travel by jet ski to the coast of Abaco Island, where they will find a Don Box, dressed in normal clothes I might add, with their next tip, as well as all of the equipment they'll need in order to complete the next challenge."

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Now for the race to the museum…

"There's the taxi stand!" the teams were quick to take off running, with the Surfers being in the lead and the Performers being right behind them, during which Bridgette glanced at Leshawna "I know this probably goes without saying, but…"

"But may the best team win right?" Leshawna gave a smirk "Don't worry, there ain't gonna be any hard feelings over whatever happens, at least on my end. But don't think we're gonna make it easy for you either. Give it all you've got girlfriend, and I'll do the same."

"Sounds good to me. Best of luck to you though."

"Same, so long as you can keep up!" and then she and Trent bolted ahead towards the taxi stand and quickly hailed a cab.

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"The Performers have quickly taken the lead, followed by the Surfers, the Ice Dancers and the Goths."

"I have to be honest with you." Jacques shared a look with Josee "It's times like this I truly am grateful we have the unique ability to stay calm under pressure."

"Agreed, it's one of the many edges we have over the rest of-" Josee cut herself short when she noticed another cab passing theirs "There go the Goths, that means we're in last place! I refuse to accept this! Would it kill you to hurry up, we're in a race for the love of god! You need to drive this thing faster, do you hear me?! FASTER!" the only response she received was the cab driver turning up the samba music playing on the radio, effectively shutting her up.

Jacques on the other hand, only had this to say "I have to be honest, I'm actually surprised that sort of thing doesn't happen more often!"

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One cabride later, outside the pirate museum…

"Oh yeah, now we're gonna show them what we're made of!" Leshawna and Trent were the first team to reach the museum, and they were quick to take off running "About time we get to see some of the good stuff too."

"I didn't think you were really into pirates." Trent gave her a raised eyebrow.

"What can I say, you watch all of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and you tend to get a little bit interested in the stuff."

"You like Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"Johnny Depp knows how to a get a girl invested in a movie, and it was better than I thought it was gonna be. The first one anyway, the newer ones are (bleep)."

"Huh. Fair enough." and then the two of them bolted into the museum.

"Aw hell yeah, now we're talking!" Geoff and Bridgette were the next team to arrive "This is gonna be awesome!"

"No kidding, I can just feel how much the One Piece fans must love this." Bridgette was met with a jaw dropped look from Geoff "What?"

"You like One Piece?"

"What can I say, the story and characters are incredible. I mean the pacing needs a lot of work, but…"

"Hey no arguments here babe, pirate stuff for the win! Now let's get in there."

"Right." and so they bolted into the museum after the Performers.

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Inside the pirate museum…

"This one is gonna be a bigger walk on the park than log rolling with that bear in the Say Uncle challenge!" Leshawna and Trent rushed into the museum… only to find a massive number of maps covering the room "Oh you've gotta be (bleep) kidding me!"

"Truth be told, I feel like we should've seen this coming." Trent noted dryly "Anyway there's no point in brooding over it now, we've got a challenge to finish."

"What are you thinking?"

"You go through the left side, I'll check out the right. Divide and conquer."

"Sounds good to me." and so the two of them split up and started searching through different sides of the room.

"Holy crap that's a lot of maps!" Geoff and Bridgette were the next team to reach the room, and they bolted started searching around for a map "There it is!"

"Remember sweetie, it has to have a logo on it." Bridgette told him.

"Oh yeah, got it. Give me a few minutes."

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Meanwhile, outside the museum…

"We're here." Ennui and Crimson stepped out of their cab outside the museum and took a look around "We've been here for a substantial enough amount of time. Is this better or worse than when we were in Hawaii?"

"At least this time we're not fresh off of leaving a dark paradise." Ennui pointed out "But we haven't been here as long, so it's too soon to tell. It still sucks though."

"Agreed. Let's just get inside before-

"Get out of the way you vampire rejects!" this was when Josee and Jacques arrived on the scene and bolted past the Goths, trampling them in the process.

"Ow. You both suck."

"Excuse me?!" Josee shot a look of offense at them "I'll have you know that I do not suck."

"You know they meant that about both of us." Jacques pointed out.

"Shut up, I'm making a point. I'm little more than a dedicated competitor that has no intention of stopping at anything when it comes to wining any type of competition, and has no qualms about ruining the lives of anyone that dares to get in my way. Now let's go, we've got gold to claim and victims to crush!" and so she bolted inside, with Jacques following her lead.

"Ouch." Ennui got up first and then helped Crimson to her feet "Last place for now, but we're not out of it yet."

"Agreed." Crimson gave a simple nod "At the very least, I want to make sure the Ice Dancers get what they deserve."

"I hope they get worse than that."

"I love it when you get vengeful."

"I know." and so the two of them rushed inside to join the other teams.

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Several moments of searching later…

"Nope, nothing here either." Bridgette pushed another group of maps to the side "Maybe this next pile?"

"Don't bother, I've already searched that pile." Crimson told her without bothering to look at her, and then she looked at Ennui "Anything?"

"Not from me." Ennui gestured to where Loki held up a map in triumph, and then the three of them took off out the exit "It's strange, but beating the Ice Dancers thus far has given me a very strange feeling."

"What is it?"

"It feels foreign to me, but I think it may be… happiness."

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"Just like that, the Goths have leapt from fourth place ti first, and from the looks of it, I'd say that the Surfers aren't too far behind them."

"I got it!" Geoff pulled out a map from behind a picture frame "Check it babe, we've got some major mappage here!"

"Nice work babe, now let's get moving." Bridgette caught Geoff in a quick kiss, and then the two of them took off.

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"The Goths and the Surfers are already moving onto the second challenge, but the question still remains. Will the Ice Dancers and the Performers be able to catch up in time to make any sort of significant difference?"

"There's the island up ahead." Crimson and Ennui reached the pier off the coast of Abaco Island, and the former picked up a tip from the Don Box "It's a Random Botch, and it's called Dive to Survive."

"Which one of us has to go?" asked Ennui.

"Apparently the one that is holding the tip has to go and search for sunken treasure."

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"In this beyond dangerous challenge, the Bothers from the final four teams must navitage a series of underwater tunnels in search of gold doubloons, during which they will be armed with only their map, a flashlight and a small tank of oxygen. If they take too long in completing this challenge then they'll run out of air, and you kind of need that stuff in order to live. So they'll have to find the cavern in the center of the tunnels, grab one of the provided bags full of gold coins, and then they'll have to swim back up to the pier, race their jet skis to the shore, get back into their normal clothes and then run along the beach to the first midpoint Chill Zone of our grand finale. Three teams will continue on to our final destination, but the last team to arrive will be cut from the race with no exceptions."

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Now for the first team's reactions…

"So in short, navigate a series of dark underwater tunnels." Ennui glanced over at Crimson "That makes you the lucky one."

"It's only fair that I get to do this one." Crimson pointed out.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you got to do the challenge in the hole back in Siberia."

"Fair enough. Let me get the gear on."

"Fine."

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Meanwhile, at the pirate museum…

"Nothing on my end." Trent made his way over to Leshawna after searching through his half of the room "How about you?"

"I haven't got crap, and this is taking forever." Leshawna let out a groan of frustration "At this rate I feel like I wanna chuck something at the Ice Dancers, like one of those barrels over there they got all the maps in."

"You check in any of those?"

"Already did, didn't find a damn thing in them. But maybe… you know what, hang on for one second." Leshawna picked up a nearby crate, only to reveal one of the logo maps they were looking for "Yes, now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Thanks for the contribution to our victory!" Josee grabbed hold of the map… only to be met with a barrel dropping on her head "What the (bleep)?!"

"Hands off what ain't yours ya little (bleep)!" Leshawna grabbed the map, with the Ice Dancers grabbing onto it as well, resulting in a tug of war "I said drop it, I ain't putting up with anymore of your crap in this race!"

"Forget it Leshawna, just let it go." Trent told him.

"There ain't a chance in hell I'm gonna let Heather on ice-" Leshawna's grip loosened, sending the Ice Dancers flying into a wall "Oh. Huh."

"The excess force would've sent them flying."

"Straight A's in school huh?"

"Yep, glad to see someone finally remembered that."

"It's worth remember for stuff like this, now let's roll!" and so the two of them grabbed the map and took off running, leaving the Ice Dancers sprawled out on the floor.

"Ow…" Jacques let out a pained groan as he picked himself up off the floor, but then he quickly took notice of a certain piece of paper wedged underneath a nearby box, which he pulled out to reveal a map with the logo "Yes! Josee we can go!"

"To the gold…" Josee tried to pull herself to her feet… only to fall flat on her face, complete with a pained groan.

"...You know what, I think I'll just give you a minute."

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"Just like that, the Performers have leapt into third place, but the question remains. Will they be able to hold it?"

"Alright hold on, I'll drive this until we get to the next Don Box." Trent leapt into the jet ski and took the front, Leshawna holding onto him tightly, and they took off… only for it to be a slow and rocky trip.

"You know it wouldn't kill you to go a little bit faster." Leshawna shot him a dry look.

"Hey give me a break, it's been awhile since the last time I drove a jet ski. I'm a little bit out of practice."

"Then why not just let me drive?"

"Becuase you nearly ran over Heather with an ATV."

"When are you gonna let that go?"

"When it stops being relevant!"

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"As the Performers struggle with petty arguments and questionable driving skills, and the Ice Dancers struggle to get out of last place, Crimson is the first contestant to get into the water, but the Surfers aren't far behind them."

"We have more competition coming." Ennui spoke into the com link "The Surfers just arrived at the pier. How is it down there?"

"Nice, dark and quiet, just the way we like it. Also, the tunnel entrance looks a lot like the jagged mouth of a piranha."

"The animal or that movie?"

"The animal. And don't mention the movie, it's an abomination. Not like Dragonball Evolution, but it's still disgusting."

"Fair enough. Don't waste too much time, one of the Surfers is on their way down."

"Right."

"Remember, you have to find the-"

"CANNONBALL!" and then Geoff (after taking his hat off) launched himself into the water, splashing Ennui and Loki in the process.

"Sorry about that." Bridgette let out a sheepish chuckle "He gets kind of excited when it comes to these kinds of things. You okay?"

"Fine." Ennui spat out some water, then looked down to where Loki was shaking himself dry like a dog "Loki however, will likely hold this against your partner."

"Is that going to be bad?"

"Let me put it this way. You remember what he did to the Ice Dancers after they kidnapped him in Mexico?"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be like that, but worse."

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Meanwhile, with the first straggler team…

"Okay seriously, this is getting ridiculous!" by this point, Leshawna was growing frustrated as she and Trent continued streaking across the water on their jet ski, albeit at a slow pace "You got two choices white boy, either let me drive or hurry the (bleep) up!"

"And run the Ice Dancers over?" Trent shot her a dry look "Seriously, it's gonna take a lot more than just us lagging behind to get me to let you drive something that can run people over."

"Eat a load of seaweed you Broadway rejects!" this was when Josee and Jacques bolted past them, knocking them off their jet ski "And tell that Elvis wannabe that his hair looks like a pile of (bleep)!"

"...Okay change of plans, you can drive now."

"Seriously?" Leshawna shot him a raised eyebrow "Now you're letting me drive?"

"Hey they can say and do all kinds of horrible stuff, but the minute they make fun of the hair, that's where I draw the line!"

"...Really? All the crap they pull, and insulting your hair is what sets you off?"

"Do you wanna drive or not?"

"You might wanna hold on tight, this one is gonna get freaky."

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Meanwhile, at the pier…

"Well it's about time, now let's get this over with." Josee pulled Jacques up onto the dock and pulled a tip out of the Don Box, only to immediately be horrified by what she read "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"What's the matter?" asked Jacques.

"I have to swim in… tunnels… and caves?! You of all people know that I'm not a fan of being stuck in small spaces!"

"Yes of course I know that, and I'm pretty sure that anyone who saw the challenges in Austrialia and Siberia already know." Jacques breathed a sigh as he stuck the diver's helmet onto Josee and strapped the oxygen tank to it, then handed her the flashlight "You can do this. Right?"

"Of course I can do this, I can do anything. Unless you want to. Please for the love of god, tell me you want to!"

"No I can't Josee, you know that as well as I do." Jacques was immediately with a scream of pure frustration "See that's it, that's the way. You have to make use of your anger, turn it into the strength you need to claim victory!"

"Yes… Yes, that's perfect. All I have to do is take my anger and channel it into sabotaging the Performers and the rest of the teams!" she was immediately met with a disapproving scowl "Hey you said to use it."

"Yes but enough with the sabotage already, know when to draw the line! Do I need to remind you that a penalty nearly got us sent home in Argentina?"

"But it didn't, now did it?" Josee's smirk only grew wider.

"Honestly, you're impossible at times like this!" Jacques let out a scoff and turned away, and what he said next quickly wiped the smirk off her face "Stuff like this is why I don't want to go pro with you anymore."

"What?!"

"The sequins and blade sharpeners are a good benefit, but there are things that I want to do with my life that don't involve lying and cheating our way to the top in ways so heinous that we end up becoming even more hated than the people who made the Last Airbender movie!"

"Dragonball Evolution is worse." was Ennui's blunt input.

"I'm not objecting to that, I'm just trying to make a point!"

"And you're just telling me this now?!" Josee shot an incredulous pissed off look at him "Why the (bleep) did you have to pick now of all times to grow a spine?"

"Maybe because I'm sick of putting up with you becoming a bigger monster with each passing day and losing what we once had!"

"What the hell does-" Josee didn't get a chance to finish her question, given that she was cut off by the Performers' jet ski crashing into the dock.

"...We'll talk about this later." so Jacques smacked Josee hard enough on the back to send her hurtling into the water, earning a series of looks from the others present "What? You all know that she would do the same. Josee, can you hear me?" he was immediately met with the shrill sound of Josee screaming into the mic at the top of her lungs, making everyone present cringe at the volume.

"The mic definitely works, too well if you ask me." Ennui was promptly met with a chitter of agreement from Loki.

"What was that?"

"One of the Ice Dancers having a panic attack."

"Is that something we should be worried about?"

"Not at the moment at least. Just focus on the challenge, and be sure to enjoy the darkness while you can."

"Got it."

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"By this point, three out of the four teams are now in the water, but only two of them have made it inside the tunnels."

"Oh, god… Oh god…" Josee let herself sink into the watery depths until she was right in front of the entrance to the tunnels "This is hell… no wait that's not right, hell would have nothing but bronze…"

"Come on and get a grip Josee, you can do this! You just have to pretend that you're going into a skating rink. One that's dark and wet and really cramped- Wow, I really should've thought about this analogy before I started talking."

"Shut your (bleep) hole and let me whimper in peace!" Josee's next round of whimpering was cut short by the sound of a loud splash coming from the mic "What was that?"

"One of the Performers just dove into the water, now get into the tunnel!"

"I said shut up! I don't take orders from filthy traitors that turn their backs on me!"

"If you want to denigrate me for having my own goals and principles then fine, but do it after you finish the challenge!"

"I can't… I can't breathe…" she stated gasping for air.

"Take a look at your gauge Josee, I'm sure that you have plenty of oxygen."

"I just did and it's down to 60%!" she let out another scream of terror.

"Thanks for leading me to the tunnels, I'd follow the screaming from like a mile away." this was when Leshawna swam past Josee and into the tunnels "Quick update Trent, we're in the top three and heading for the top spot right now."

"Letting you get ahead of me? Like hell I'm going to let that happen! I swear I will RUIN you if it's the last thing I do, you hear me?!" and then Josee let out a terrified whimper as she slowly made her way into the tunnels.

"Eesh, they weren't kidding about the claustrophobia." Leshawna looked back at Josee with some pity, then turned towards the camera "Here I figured it was gonna feel small to her just because she's got such a huge head."

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"By this point, all four of the Botchers are moving through the underwater tunnels. Though some are clearly moving slower than others, which leads to stuff like this."

"I can't do it… I can't just… WHAT THE (BLEEP) ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" Josee was slowly inching her way through the tunnels, the fear slowing her down considerably, and she took the chance to lash out at a fish staring at her, scaring it away in a flash "Come on Josee, you have to wait the (bleep) up already! You're a winner, and winners never give up! Are you like the rest of those quitters? You're PATHETIC! If mama could see you right now then she'd be rolling in her grave! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Oh trust me, they're hearing it all the way back on Wawanakwa." came Leshawna's dry input over the mic "Any chance one of you can disconnect her mic, or at least mute it so we don't have to hear her crap? I'm pretty sure that one of my eardrums just started bleeding."

"I WILL RUIN YOU WOMAN!"

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Meanwhile, on the pier…

"I feel like this is getting out of hand." Bridgette glanced over at Jacques "Don't you think you should try and talk her down a bit?"

"Are you kidding?" Jacques let out a scoff "I've taken this kind of crap from her for 14 years, it's about time she got a taste of it. Frankly at this point, I'm contemplating whether or not to just head to the mainland on my own and grab a hoagie somewhere."

"Eesh, 14 years of that?" Trent glanced over at him "I kinda feel sorry for you now."

"You mean almost right?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"Just checking."

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Meanwhile, in the cavern…

"Alright babe, I'm in the cavern." Geoff swam his way into the cavern, tightening his grip on the flashlight and map as he did so "I just gotta track down those gold balloons."

"What? Geoff you're supposed to be looking for gold doubloons."

"...Huh?"

"The gold coins in the chest."

"Oh yeah, got it. I already found the chest full of the stuff. You want me to bring a few back for you too?"

"Maybe later, we've got a challenge to finish. Grab a bag and bring it back up here."

"On it! First place all the way!" Geoff snagged a bag of gold coins and prepared to take his leave of the cavern… only to be startled by an angel fish popping up in front of him and swallowing his flashlight, which led him to grab onto it and start getting dragged around "Hey give me back my flashlight little scaly dude, I've got an uber girl and a million bucks waiting up top!"

"Geoff what is it, what's going on down there?"

"I'm getting dragged around by a fish! Seriously these things are so tiny, how the heck are they so strong?" and then he got dragged away into the tunnels by the fish.

It wasn't long after this that Crimson made her way into the cavern "Interesting. Being the first to reach it attracts unwanted attention. Unexpected, but worth noting."

"How are things down there so far?"

"Dark and quiet, I can see what you enjoyed about the hole in Siberia. I also made it into the cavern, now to find our objective." Crimson started flashing the light around the cavern… only to catch sight of an oyster with a pearl in the center, as well as a pile of jewels along with a gold crown "Huh."

"What?"

"Lots of gold and jewels, and a pearl. One would think that fools would've raided this cave a long time ago."

"Perhaps they chose to leave it in peace out of basic human decency."

"...Was that your attempt at a joke?"

"It's as close to sarcasm as I'm ever going to get."

"Fair enough. I already." Crimson promptly swam her way down towards the chest and picked up a bag of gold doubloons "There, now we're in second place."

"Hey Crimson!" the voice of Bridgette came through the com "Do you see Geoff anywhere down there?"

"There's no sign of him in the cavern."

"Crap! Geoff where are you right now?"

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Meanwhile, with the straggler…

"Crap! Geoff where are you right now?"

"I think I'm a few caves over, and I've still got got the coins! Enough with the yanking already little fish dude, give me back my flashlight!" Geoff tried to pull himself free of the fish's hold, only for this to be met with a loud bang "Aw crap!"

"What's going on, is everything okay down there?"

"No, I'm stuck in this big crack in the cave! I can't get loose!"

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"Thanks to Geoff being wedged between a rock and, well, another rock, the Surfers fall right out of first place, leaving the Goths to rise up in their stead."

"Here." Crimson rose up from beneath the water and held up the bag of doubloons "Here's the bag."

"Good, now let's go." Ennui leapt onto the jet ski, with Crimson and Loki joining him, and then they promptly took off for the Chill Zone.

"You seem content to leave them to their own devices?"

"They're strong teams capable of surviving even the most daunting of environments. I have no doubt that we'll be seeing them very soon."

"And the Ice Dancers?" Crimson was met with the sound of chittering from Loki.

"Loki hopes that she shrieks long and loud enough to lose her voice and run out of air. I just hope that they get cut from the race and that she doesn't cause too much collateral damage."

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Meanwhile, in the cavern…

"Okay, here it is…" still somewhat freaking out, Josee slowly swam her way into the underwater cavern "Okay I did it, I got into the cavern!"

"Yes, you go girl! Wait, how did you get ahead of Leshawna?"

"I'm desperate to win and have no qualms about playing dirty, and she and I hate each other with a burning passion. You do the math. Now it's time for Josee to take the gold, as if there was ever any doubt." so Josee dove down and grabbed a bag of doubloons from the chest, then prepared to swim back up to the surface… only for her attention to be caught by the sound of beeping, and an icon on her helmet filling her with dread "(Insert stream of terrified bleeps)!"

"What is it, what's the matter?"

"My oxygen is down to 2%! No… air!" and then she started freaking out again.

"What?! Wait hold on, uh… Look around for an air pocket!"

"R-Right!" Josee looked around the cavern, then swam up as fast as she could and entered said air pocket, ripping her helmet off in the process "Okay I found one, now what?"

"Um… HELP!"

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Meanwhile, at the mid-point Chill Zone…

"Okay, so no new furniture for the Chill Zones, but what about lining up all of the teams right at the finish line for- Sweet mother of God!" Don's off-screen conversation was cut short when he looked over and saw the Goths standing at the Chill Zone "Seriously, one of these days you're going to have to tell me how you do that."

"We walk." was Ennui's blunt input.

"Good to know. Anyway you're in first place, so here's your next tip." Don pulled out a travel tip and handed it to them.

"Take a water taxi to the airport and book a flight to the final destination. The personnel at the airport will tell you where to go." Ennui and Crimson shared a look, and then the two of them took off towards the nearby pier "So this is what it's like to get into the final three."

"It feels anticlimactic." was Crimson's blunt input.

"Agreed. Where do you think our final destination will be?"

"Hopefully somewhere with an overwhelming sense of sadness, similar to Vegas."

"That would be kind of nice."

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"With the first team already on their way to the airport, getting ready to head towards our final destination, the other teams are growing more anxious to get to the Chill Zone. Or in the case of two of them, get out alive."

"Come on, come on…" Jacuqes was pacing nervously back and forth along the pier, and he cast a nervous look towards Bridgette "Tell me the tip says there's something we can do in this kind of situation!"

"I've already looked it over." Bridgette told him "It says that we can ask the officials to send in divers to get them out, but if we do then we'll get cut from the race. Geoff, did you hear all of that?"

"I heard it babe, but don't go there just yet."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Just give me a minute or two, I've got a plan to get myself out of there."

"...Alright, but only a minute, and then I'm calling it." Bridgette let out a sigh, and then she turned to Jacques "I'll give him one more minute, and that's all before I-"

"I'm going to do it." Jacques cut her off, his expression deadly serious "I have no choice but to send in a diver. Josee can't hold her breath long enough to get back to the surface, and her air pocket isn't going to help for very long."

"She's probably going to like that, but you are right. Are you sure this is the choice you want to go with though?"

"I'm willing to do it. Even if we get disqualified from the race, I'm not willing to risk losing her like this."

"I don't blame you, but will she?"

"It wouldn't be the first time, nor would it be the first time that my actions caused her to give in to the beast within."

"What do you mean?"

"It's bit of a complicated story." Jacques breathed a sigh, and began to recount his tail "I don't expect you to know about this, but Josee wasn't always like that. We grew up together, and we shared the same dream of becoming professional athletes, not just for fame but for the genuine love of it. But over time, Josee became obsessed with proving herself, and showing the world what she could do, until she became what she is now. The straw that broke the camel's back however, was the day when we represented Canada in the Olympics. A mistake on my part cost us the gold medal, and when we returned home we were mocked, shunned and scorned for our loss. From that day on she became determined to win at any and all costs, and I couldn't bring myself to turn my back on her. Part of it is because I felt like it was my fault. I signed us up for this race because I wanted to snap her out of it, to try and bring back the old Josee that I know and love. I don't see that happening anytime soon, if ever, but that's besides the point. She can curse and scream and hate me all she wants for making us lose again… but I would rather give this race up, as well as a thousand gold medals, before I would accept losing her."

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Meanwhile, in the cavern…

By this point, Leshawna had made her way into the cavern, and quickly snagged a back of gold doubloons from the chest "Yeah, now that's how I roll!"

"Hey Leshawna, you still there?" Trent's voice came through on the com "What's your status down there?"

"Just snagged the gold, I'm about to head back. Second place is as good as ours."

"Sounds good so far, just make sure to get back before you run out of air."

"Take it easy white boy, I've got plenty. I'll be back up in a few." so Leshawna started to make her way towards the exit of the cavern… only to stop and look back at where Josee was left to float around in the "(Bleep)."

"What was that for?"

"I see the Ice Dancers chick right up there. I can't just leave her like this. I might be a few more minutes than we thought."

"...Seriously? You're actually gonna help her? I figured at the most you'd go back up and mock her or something."

"Oh don't think the thought didn't cross my mind, but there are some lines that even I ain't about to cross." so with that in mind, Leshawna swam her way up into the air pocket until she was face to face with Josee "Sup?"

"Great, what the hell do you want now?" Josee sneered at her "You here to gloat?"

"I thought about that, but no. I heard your partner and Bridgette talking on the coms."

"What partner? I'm on my own now, he said it himself. He turned his back on me."

"I'm going to do it." the voice of Jacques came through on the com "I have no choice but to send in a diver. Josee can't hold her breath long enough to get back to the surface, and her air pocket isn't going to help for very long."

"She's probably going to like that, but you are right." then came the voice of Bridgette "Are you sure this is the choice you want to go with though?"

"I'm willing to do it. Even if we get disqualified from the race, I'm not willing to risk losing her like this."

"I don't blame you, but will she?"

"It wouldn't be the first time, nor would it be the first time that my actions caused her to give in to the beast within."

"What do you mean?"

What the non-bothers on the pier didn't know was that the com was open, and both Leshawna and Josee were able to hear everything, and she let out a low whistle "Damn, that's… a lot to take in for a girl."

"...So what do you have to say?" Josee broke her silence as she glared at Leshawna "If you want to gloat and leave me behind, just get it over with. We both know that I can't get back up to the surface on my own, the only choice I have is to get a diver to come in and get me out, and that means giving up the race."

"Will you shut it already?"

"Why? I'm saving you the trouble."

"I already told you that I'm not here to gloat. I'm here to help."

"...Say what now? But I thought you hated me."

"Oh trust me girlfriend, you ain't gonna be on my Christmas card list anytime soon, but leaving you down here to suffocate is one line I ain't gonna cross. Besides, if there's anyone or anything that's gonna take you out of this race, then it's gonna be me." so Leshawna removed her helmet and placed the tube over Josee's face "And quick word to the wise, I'm changing my mind if I catch you trying to hog the oxygen in my tank. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good, now let's move." and so the two of them dove down into the water and started to make their way out of the cave, sharing the oxygen tube as they did so.

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"By this point, the Performers and the Ice Dancers are heading back to the surface in a tie for second place. However, unless Geoff is able to find a way to free himself and catch up, this may be the end of the line for the Surfers."

"Come on, come on…" Geoff gritted his teeth as he tried to pull himself free on more time, only for that to fail, and then he spoke into the com "Okay babe, so you're probably not gonna be too thrilled about this, but I've got an idea. I'm gonna go ahead and ditch the oxygen and swim my way back up to the top."

"What?! Geoff you heard Jacques, you won't be able to hold your breath long enough to get back up here!"

"Maybe Josee can't, but I can. I've got a ton of experience holding my breath. I got four younger brothers back home and I used to share a room with them, I got no problems with learning how to hold my breath. Besides, I used to share a cabin with Owen. This is nothing."

"I can vouch for that." was Trent's input over the com.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence bro. Anyway I mean this babe, I can get myself out of here and still keep us in the race… Now here I go!" Geoff took a breath and released the oxygen tank from his back, and then he started swimming up to the surface as fast as he could.

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At the pier…

"Come on, come on…" Bridgette looked around with fearful anticipation, waiting for any sign of anyone else, until…

"Hey babe, guess who brougth the good stuff!" Geoff rose up from the water with his bag in hand… only to be yanked onto the dock by Bridgette and pulled into a tight hug.

"Are you okay? I mean really?"

"Yeah I'm fine babe, really I am."

"Alright, if you're sure… then we've got a race to win. Let's move." and so the two of them leapt onto their jet ski and took off for the shore.

It wasn't long after this that Leshawna rose up from the water, with Josee right beside her, only to notice the look Trent was giving her "What?"

"Okay I've gotta ask, did you hit your head or something?" asked Trent.

"No, why?"

"Because you just saved someone that you hate of your own volition."

"Can we just chalk it up to character development and leave it there?"

"Works for me, now let's go. We've got a race to win."

"Now that's what I like to hear!" so Leshawna mounted the jet ski, and she and Trent took off towards the shore, leaving Josee in the water and Jacque on the pier, alone.

"What the hell are you waiting for?! We have to go before-" Josee didn't get the chance to finish her sentence as she climbed onto the pier, before Jacques suddenly pulled her into a tight hug, taking her by surprise "What… What are you doing?"

"I was so worried." Jacques breathed a small sigh as he tightened his embrace around her "I was terrified by the thought that… I might lose you."

"...I'm fine, okay? Just let me go already and let's move."

"Right." so Jacques mounted the jet ski in the front and helped Josee onto the back "Honestly, there was a point where I thought you would-"

"I heard you the first time, now shut it and drive!"

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"Now that all three of our remaining teams have reached the shore, it all comes down to who has the most determination and drive to claim victory. Or second place as the case may be."

"Go go go!" Geoff and Bridgette were the first to finish changing, and they quickly made a beeline for the Chill Zone.

"Come on, let's go!" Jacques and Josee were next to bolt out of the changing booths, only for the Performers to begin to pull ahead of them "Dammit, they're faster than I thought! At this rate, we're going to…"

"Not if I can help it!" Josee gave a devious smirk as she picked up a coconut in the path.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping us stay in the race!"

"So you're just going to stab her in the back after what she did for you?"

"You really think I'm gonna go soft and start acting like a giant ball of sunshine just because she helped us stay in the race?"

"The hell with the race!" Jacque's tone was sharp and full of anger, and that made the two of them stop in their tracks "I'm talking about the fact that she's the only reason you're even here right now!"

"I would've figured something out!"

"No you wouldn't, and we both know it! If Leshawna hadn't come back to get you, we would've had to send in a diver or you would've suffocated!"

"Yeah, well…" Josee just fell silent and looked away as the two of them took off running again, the coconut still in her hand, and then after a moment she looked back at him "Did you… mean what you said before?"

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"The com was open the whole time I was in the air pocket, and I heard what you said. Blaming yourself for what happened at the Olympics, trying to get me over it being why you signed us up for this race in the first place… valuing my life more than the race."

"Oh. You heard all of that?"

"All of it. Did you… mean it?"

"Honestly? Every single word of it." Jacques was met with silence, and so he chose to continue on "We both know that you became more and more competitive over the years, and with it you grew more bitter, spiteful and desperate to prove yourself. I didn't think it was that big of a deal until what happened during our performance at the Olympics. I think that was when it really hit me… that I was losing any sign of the real you, the you that skated for the love of it, not for the victory or the glory. That was why I signed us up for this race, to get the real you back. Maybe I am rambling a bit here, but there is a point that I'm trying to make. You can think whatever you wish of me for my beliefs here… but I would rather lose this race and every other competition for the rest of our lives, than ever risk losing you."

"...Dammit, why did you have to be the one to Talk no Jutsu me." Josee let out a low growl as she dropped the coconut "Fine, you win."

"So does that mean-"

"Just shut up and keep running before I finally regain enough oxygen in my brain to realize just what it is I'm agreeing to. And just throwing this out there, you've got about two minutes before that happens… mon ami."

"That's all I needed to hear." and so they kept running, keeping neck and neck with the other two teams, the Chill Zone getting closer by the second.

"And here they come now!" Don was quick to greet the teams when they arrived at the Chill Zone, in the order in which they arrived "The Surfers have arrived in second place, and third goes to… the Performers!"

"YES!" Leshawna caught Trent in a high five, while Jacques and Josee fell to their knees and began screaming at the top of their lungs.

"...Yeah, gonna get to that in a minute." Don unplugged his ears once the screaming stopped, then turned to the Surfers and Performers as he handed them each a travel tip "Congratulations to the rest of you, now you get to carry on, and here's your next tip. I wish you the best of luck from here on out."

"Water taxi to the airport and book a flight to the final destination. Alright guys, let's do this thing!" Geoff pumped a fist in triumph, and he and Bridgette took off running towards the nearby dock, with Trent and Leshawna following right behind them "Man it's crazy, after all this time we finally made it to the final three! It's like we're made of magic beans or something. We're not right?"

"No babe, we're not, but it is pretty exciting." Bridgette let out a chuckle as she patted him on the shoulder. And then the two of them started making out.

"And then there was one." Don turned to where the Ice Dancers were still kneeling in front of the carpet, his expression more gleeful than it probably should've been "Jacques and Josee, I'm truly sorry… that it took me so long to get to say this. You've been cut from the competition!"

"...So be it." Jacques promptly rose to his feet, with Josee doing the same, and they did a graceful pose.

"Huh. You know you're taking this suspiciously well."

"After everything that's happened, I'd like to at least leave with my dignity. Right Josee?"

"We lost… no gold… no podium…" Josee's smile soon contorted into an expression filled with rage.

"Oh no." Jacques promptly ducked as Josee leapt onto a nearby palm tree in a fit of rage, ripping it out of the ground and swinging it around in a fit of rage, knocking down various other trees in the process, before throwing it.

"Sweet mother of God!" Don was forced to duck to avoid being hit by the tree "Do I need to get out the elephant tranqulizers?"

"I've got this covered. Josee stop!" Jacques rushed over to Josee's side as she moved to rip a second palm tree out of the ground "It's over Josee… we lost."

"But I… we…" Josee's rage broke into a series of sobs as she and Jacques embraced… a split second before the palm tree fell on them.

Fortunately Jacques was able to brush this off fairly quickly, and he pulled Josee into his arms as he started walking down the beach "So this is how our run ends. You know, I wish that I could leave with my head held high and say that I'm proud of the things we did. But as ashamged as I am to say it, after everything we've done, I do not have such a right."

"We took fourth place… After all of the struggling and humiliation, in the end we didn't even make the podium." Josee got herself back down onto her own feet and started slowly walking alongside Jacques "And combine that with the way that we behaved… maybe we don't deserve to be champions."

"Perhaps not, but there's no use in clinging to the past. Nothing will change it. However, what we can do is learn from this. Maybe we can try to be better people."

"And by we, you're referring to me aren't you?"

"...I'm neither going to confirm nor deny that claim."

"That's what I though." Josee rolled her eyes as the two of them walked their way down the beach.

"And that's the end of that." Don watched as the Ice Dancers took their leave, then turned to the camera to sign off "The Goths, the Surfers and the Performers. Three teams remain, and now all of them are en route to the final location of the season. But the question still remains, which of them will win it all? There's only one way to find out, and that's for you to tune in next time and watch the final installment of the greatest adventure on television, at least since the host of Total Drama got arrested, Chris McLean can suck it by the way. Anyway, I'll see you next time for the grand finale of… the Ridonculous Race!"

A/N:

Here we go people, no turning back now. We've finally reached the first part of the finale of the race, and man there's a lot going on here. For starters, and I'm sure that plenty of you are happy about this one, the Ice Dancers are finally out of the race! I knew going into this that this was where they would end their run, mainly given the relationship drama they went through in this one.

Adding onto that, I want to address something that was caught my attention in one of the reviews of the last chapter. One of them mentioned the Wild Card theory that I included in A BFG's World Tour, which mentions that the big bad of the season will be met with defeat thanks to the actions of the most unexpected source. I will admit that it's been a long time since I thought about that, but that should be taken into consideration here, especially given who that wild card is. In this case, it's a member of the main antagonist team, Jacques himself. Of course it's not always a form of treachery that does the villain in. Sometimes a bit of sincerity can draw out the decency of a person, as little as it might be.

Rankings:

Goths- 1st

Surfers- 2nd

Performers- 3rd

Elimination order:

Ice Dancers- 4th

Best Friends- 5th

Sisters- 6th

Rockers- 7th

Reality TV Pros- 8th

Brains & Brawn- 9th

Father & Son- 10th

Stepbrothers- 11th

Adversity Twins- 12th

Mother & Daughter- 13th

Fashion Bloggers- 14th

Vegans - 15th

Geniuses - 16th

Tennis Rivals 17th

LARPers - 18th