The curtains opened to show, Katara and Sokka on the stage, in a boat with paper water. Aw geez, the props are bad already. Katara's actor sighed. "Oh, Sokka, my only brother! We constantly roam these icy seas and find nothing!"
"All I want is a meal. I'm starving!" Sokka's actor said. The lines are bad and it just started. How can this get any worse? The audience laughed at Sokka's actor.
"Is food the only thing on your mind, brother?" Actor Katara asked.
"I'm trying to get it out of my mind and into my mouth! I'm starving!" The audience laughed again. Come on, this isn't even funny. "Come on!" Sokka cried from behind me. "My jokes are way funnier than this!"
"I think he's got you good!" Toph laughed. Sokka huffed. Actor Katara stood up in the boat. "Every day, the world guides us, but we find nothing!" She clapped. "We still can't give up hope!" She sat back down. "Hope, oh, hope! Don't leave us now!" She leaned over the side of the boat and started crying. They got Katara pretty well honestly. "I don't sound like that!" Katara complained.
"This writer is spot on!" Toph said. "He's a genius!"
A blue light came from on top the stage and Actor Katara and Sokka look up. "It looks like someone in the iceberg! Maybe they were frozen for one hundred years!"
"But who?" Sokka's actor asked. "Who is the boy in the iceberg?" Aang leaned forward. "Waterbend! Yaah!" Actor Katara cried. What the heck was that? No one says that when they bend elements. She chopped the air in front of the iceberg. The iceberg splits in two and an actor pops out. Except this one isn't a guy. This one is female. This is good. Aang is played by a girl!
I smiled. This can't get any better. "Who are you frozen boy?" Katara's actor asked.
"I'm the Avatar, silly!" Aang's actress giggled.
"Is that a woman playing me?" Aang asked. A costumed Aapa comes out of the iceberg. Three actors are playing Aapa. They run in circles around Aang, Sokka and Katara's actors and end back near the iceberg. "An Airbender!" Katara's actor exclaimed. "Our hope has returned! So much so, that it's making me tearbend!" Tearbend? This writer is horrible. Katara actor knelt down in the boat and began to cry, again.
"My stomach is so empty that it's making me tearbend!" Sokka's actor cried. He began crying too. "Is that a platter of meaty dumplings?" Aang's actress asked, pointing to the sky.
"Where?" Sokka's actor asked. "Where? I don't see them?"
"Did I mention that I'm a prankster?" actress Aang asked.
"I don't do that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!" Aang exclaimed.
"I think they got you well, Twinkle Toes!" Toph laughed. At least someone is enjoying this. The only good part is that Aang is played by a female. The actors walk off stage with the props and a Fire Nation ship comes onstage. There is some guy wearing Fire Nation armor with surprisingly long hair and a guy behind him that looks just like Uncle. Wait...
"Prince Zuko! You should try some of this cake!" Uncle's actor remarked holding up a plate of cake. Oh geez. That's me...
The guy playing me has...my scar on the wrong side! "I don't have time to stuff my face. I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor!" He looked through a telescope. "Well, I guess I'll capture another slice then," Uncle's actor replied. He ate it like a horse ostrich. "You sicken me!" my actor said.
"They make me look stiff and humorless!" I exclaimed. I can't believe this. "Actually, I think that actor's spot on!" Katara said.
"How could you say that?" I asked.
"How could you say that?" actor me asked, with the same tone I used. I crossed my arms and flopped down in my seat. Katara smiled at me. I guess I am stiff. The actors walked off stage and shifted the props. Now they're in the Northern Air temple, except, its a drawing. Actress Aang looks behind a cardboard bush. "Hey! I think I found something!" She grabbed a puppet of a rabbit-monkey. "Hey, look! I'm going to call him Momo!" she exclaimed. She shoved her hand in the puppet and moved it's mouth. "I love you, everyone!" she made a voice for the puppet of Momo.
There it goes. Back down. It can never stay good for very long. The crowd laughed at the Momo puppet. "Ugh, geez," Aang sighed. The scene changed again to Suki holding two fans. Actor Sokka is wearing a Kyoshi uniform. "Does this dress make my head look big?" he asked. The crowd laughed again. I buried my face in my hands.
I heard Suki laugh behind me. The scene changed again to show Bumi. "You must past these riddles if you want to leave!" he laughed. The actors dodge things and try not to get eaten. Eventually, they pass and actor Bumi lets them go. Next, they arrive at the pirate's ship. The pirates attack them. Where's me and Uncle? We were there.
"Why did you have to steal that Waterbending scroll?" actor Sokka asked. Actress Katara started crying. "I just gave me hope!"
"Why am I such a cry-baby obsessed with hope?" Katara asked next to me. "I'm not like that!"
A person backstage whacks a sheet of metal, reaching behind the curtain. Actress Aang is tied to a pole with my actor in front of her. "The Avatar is finally mine!" he exclaimed. He quickly turned to face backstage. "Who's there?"
A guy wearing...The Blue Spirit mask...pops out. Well, it's good to know that no one else knows my secret. The mask is rather large though. "I'm The Blue Spirit! I'm here to save the Avatar!" he said, waving his swords. He walked across the stage, knocking over guards, who don't even touch the swords. He walked up to actress Aang and actor me throws red paper at him. That's the stupidest Firebending I have ever seen.
The Blue Spirit points a sword at actor me and he runs away. This is embarrassing. I can feel Aang staring at me. I slump down farther in my seat. "My hero!" Actress Aang cheered as she jumped onto The Blue Spirit's mask. The Blue Spirit walks off stage with actress Aang on his head.
Let's just hope it gets better from there. Actress Katara and another guy are lowered onto the stage. Actress Katara began crying. "Don't cry, baby!" the man next to her said. "Jet will take out that town for you!" Oh, so that's Jet. The guy who tried to expose me and Uncle as Firebenders. "Oh, Jet, you're so bad!" actress Katara said, flirting.
Toph laughs. I look over to see Katara covering her face. Did she like Jet? The actor group fly on a fake Aapa with mountains painted on a large sheet of paper. "Look! The Great Divide!" actress Aang cried. "Its the biggest canyon in the Earth Kingdom!"
"Whatever. Keep flying," actor Sokka said, unimpressed. A stage hand from up top drops fake snow onto the floor. Actor Sokka and an actress stand in the snow. "Don't go, Yue!" actor Sokka cried. "You're the only woman who's taken my mind off food!" They kissed. "Eugh! Did you have pickled fish for dinner?"
"Goodbye, Sokka!" actress Yue said, walking backwards to a moon. "I have important moon duties to take care of." She hoped onto the moon, which began being lifted into the air. "I did have pickled fish for dinner!"
"You never told me you made out with the moon spirit!" Suki laughed.
"Shh! I'm trying to watch!" Sokka replied.