The actors switched to Aang wearing a giant coy costume. She waved a miniature Zhao. "The Avatar is back to save the day!" she cheered. She stomped on tiny Fire Nation ships before she trips. The curtains closed. The crowd laughed and cheered. "Time for an intermission!" a guy called from behind the curtains.
This is the worst play ever. "Ugh!" Aang cried. "I can't believe it! Why couldn't they get me right?" I put my hood up. We walk outside the theater to a flight of stairs. "This is the worst play ever!" Aang complained.
"I think it's pretty good!" Toph said.
"So far, the intermission is the best part," I said. Sokka joins us holding some Fire Flakes. "Apparently, the writer thinks I'm an idiot who never stops talking about food! I don't tell those bad jokes!"
"You tell bad jokes about other things," Suki said.
"I know!" Sokka replied.
"At least your actor looks like you!" Aang complained. I smiled. "The woman playing the Avatar doesn't look like me at all!"
"I think you're more in touch with your feminine side than most guys," Toph said, elbowing Aang. Aang threw his arms up in frustration. "Calm down, Aang. At least you're more accurate. It's not like I'm a cry-baby who gives horrible speeches on hope all the time." Everyone stared at her. "What?"
"Sure, that isn't you at all," Aang said, sarcastically. Katara huffed at him and crossed her arms. "Look, I think the writer did a good job," Toph said. "What you see up there is the truth." She really likes teasing people.
The doors to the theater opened again. "Let's go see who they mess up this time," Sokka said. We found our seats again and sat down. Let's just hope it gets better from here. The curtains rose to reveal a horribly painted Earth Kingdom. The actors are standing in the center of the stage. "Here we are in the Earth Kingdom!" actress Katara said, waving her arms in front of her.
"I'll go see if I can find an Earthbending teacher!" actress Aang said, opening a prop of Aang's glider and being lifted into the air by ropes. "This must be where I come in!" Toph exclaimed, leaning forward. Actress Aang flew over the crowd and then landed back on stage. "I couldn't find a teacher."
"Here it comes!" Toph exclaimed. I look at the program. This is supposed to go on for another hour? This better get better. It seems that Toph is right. She does come up in this. "You can't find an Earthbending master in the sky...you have to look underground!" a deep, manly voice said. Everybody laughed. So I looked up.
On the stage is a very muscular man wearing Toph's outfit. I drop the program and my jaw drops. That's who they chose to be Toph? A muscular man? "Who are you?" actress Aang asked.
"I'm Toph," he said, flexing, "'cause it sounds like tough and that's just what I am!" The audience laughed. I can't believe this. "Wait a minute, I sound like a guy. A very buff guy," Toph said, confused.
"Well, Toph," Katara replied, "what you hear is the truth. Hurts doesn't it?"
"Are you kidding me?" Toph exclaimed. "I wouldn't have it any other way!"
"So you're blind?" actress Aang asked. She waved a hand in front of his face. "I can see you doing that," he replied. "I see everything that you see. Except I don't 'see' the way you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth." He screams. I grip the railing. How could they do this? How could they get away with something so horrible?
"I got a pretty good look at you," he said after he finished screaming. The crowd clapped with actress Aang. The scene changed to show actor me and Uncle on stage again. This time...his hair is...it's too horribly long. I can't even think about it. "Zuko, it's time we had a talk about your hair," actor Uncle said, pointing at my actor's hair.
"Maybe it's best if we...split up," actor me said. Was he making a joke? The scene changed again to show actor me, and the rest of Aang's friends and Azula. "Azula, what are you doing here?" actor me asked.
"You caught me," actress Azula said, shrugging. "Wait! What's that?" She pointed off stage. "I think it's your honor!" The actors looked. "Where?" my actor asked. Azula ran off stage through a door. Katara's actress turned back around to face the door. "She escaped. But how?"
The scene changed again to the Ba Sing Se wall. A prop drill is twisting on the wall and Azula's actress is standing on it while Aang's is standing on the wall. "If she continues drilling, this wall will come down!" Aang's actress said. A stagehand gives actress Aang a rock and she throws it at Azula's actress.
She blocked it. "Ha ha! Continue drilling!" she exclaimed. "Ba Sing Se can hide no more!" Actress Aang throws more rocks at Azula, knocking her off the drill. She rolled off stage while Jet hoped on. He is wearing...nevermind.
The props just keep getting worse. Aang's friends surround Jet's actor. "Must...serve...the Earth King!" Jet's actor mumbled. He waved his hands with hooks on them at Aang and Sokka. "Must serve!" A stagehand from above drops a rock, which floats down. Jet crawls under the rock. "Did Jet just die?" I asked.
"You know, it was really unclear," Sokka said. Jet was brainwashed then killed. Did that really happen or was Sokka saying that for the play? Was Jet really brainwashed in Ba Sing Se? Did he really die?
The scene changed to the Crystal Catacombs where Katara and I were imprisoned. "You know, Prince Zuko, I have to admit you're really attractive," actress Katara said, moving closer to my actor.
I look back at the program. Is this right? "You don't have to make fun of me," actor me said. I looked back up. Maybe the tide will change. "But I mean it!" actress Katara exclaimed. "I've had eyes for you when you first captured me." Katara and I move away from each other.
My actor stood up from the rock. "I thought you were the Avatar's girl!" Katara's actress laughed. "The Avatar? He's like a little brother to me. I don't have romantic feelings for him. Besides, how could he ever find out about this?" I cover my eyes. This is embarrassing.
After a little, I uncover my eyes to see actress Azula and Uncle's actor in the cave too. Azula has a Fire Nation flag behind her and Uncle has an Earth Kingdom flag behind him. "Well, brother? What's it going to be?" actress Azula asked.
"Choose treachery! It's more fun!" Uncle's actor said, giving my actor a thumbs up. actor me walks over to Uncle's actor and pushes him over. Then he joined Azula. "I hate you, Uncle! You smell and I hate you forever!"
Now that just made me feel bad. Is that what it sounded like to Uncle when I joined Azula? Is that what he thinks of me? Is...there any way to forgive that? To forgive betrayal? "You didn't really say that, did you?" Katara asked.
"I might as well have," I replied. If it sounded that way, it would've just been best to tell him head on. But, I didn't mean it. I just wasn't sure of myself. I wasn't sure of who I was.
The scene changed again to Ty Lee, and Mai's actresses. Actress Mai hands a ninja a sword from her hair and Ty Lee kissed a guard. Azula's actress jumps behind Ty Lee and Mai's actress joins and they make a stupid pose. The crowd clapped. Actress Aang jumps out of nowhere in front of Azula. "Avatar State, yip yip!" she exclaimed. I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.
The lights on the stage dimmed and a blue light shone on the actress. She closed her eyes and her eyeshadow and her tattoos started to glow. She was propelled into the air while actress Azula jumps in front of actress Aang. "Not if my lightning can help!" she cried. She threw a blue streamer at Aang's actress. Actress Aang grabs the streamer and shook it around violently and she screamed and fell down. This has horrible special affects. Actress Ty Lee, Mai and Azula do the stupid pose again before they run off stage.
"The Avatar is no more!" actress Azula called as she ran off. The crowd clapped. How is this even a play. It's horrible! They don't even have good special affects and the acting is horrible! "A second intermission!" a guy behind the curtains called again. The crowd left.
We sat on the stairs again. "It seems that every time there is a big battle, you guys barely make it out alive!" Suki exclaimed. "You guys lose a lot!"
"You're one to talk, Suki," Sokka said. "Didn't Azula capture you?"
"Are you trying to get on my bad side, Sokka?" Suki asked.
"I'm just saying," Sokka said, shrugging.
"Has anyone seen Aang?" Katara asked.
"He left to get me Fire Flakes ten minutes ago. I'm still waiting!" Sokka replied.
"I'm going to check outside," Katara said, giving her brother a strange look.
"Suki," Sokka said once Katara walked out, "what are the chances you could get me backstage? I have jokes I want to give my actor."
"I'm an elite warrior trained for many years in the ways of stealth," Suki replied. She smiled. "I can get you backstage!"