Part 6

When it came to Olivia, Eli had the tendency to overreact. Whereas Maya would often play the role of the calmer and more reasonable parent, Eli will be the one to blow his fuse and fly off the handle. Obviously, his love for Liv is unquestionable, she's his daughter, he adores her and as far as he's concerned, in his eyes, she is still his little girl- which in essence lies half the problem; he doesn't want her to grow up. But as much as he fails to admit it, Liv is a grown woman- and is, and will always be a risk taker, thus forever triggering his overprotective nature. So, when she didn't turn up for work and admin staff informed that she had rearranged her shifts and taken the rest of the week off, he was instantly worried: Was she sick? Did she decide to go away on a little trip- although, surely, she would have said something? But then, why were all his calls being diverted to voicemail? And why when he asked Quinn about it, she feigned ignorance to Liv's whereabouts? Highly unlikely really, seeing as he knows the pair are as thick as thieves, and there is no possible way she doesn't know where Liv is. Therefore, he is left with only one conclusion, Liv is up to something suspect.

"Eli, it's nearly one o'clock, give it a rest... whatever is going on she clearly doesn't want us involved right now?"

"I'm worried Maya, and quite frankly I'm perturbed that you don't seem to be concerned at all?!"

"Don't be ridiculous Eli, of course I'm concerned, but Liv is an adult now, free to make up her mind and come and go as she pleases... you need to learn to give her some space..."

"Are you forgetting that the last time she slipped off the radar like this, she arranged and had an abortion behind our backs, not to mention the fact that she nearly DIED on an operating table because of it!"

"Eli, please... that was almost 2 years ago, and she has learned from her mistakes..." Maya was growing tired of this "Just go to bed, it's late- if you haven't heard from her by now, then it's unlikely you will hear anything at this hour... Besides, when you spoke to Quinn, she said she's gone away for a few days- which is perfectly normal you know- people wanting a break... Quite frankly, after tonight, I could do with a break my own damn self..."

Eli rolls his eyes, not mistaking her dig at him, although he chooses to ignore it; he has more pressing matters... "Let me try Fitz one more time, because if anyone can get through to her, it will be him... she always responds to him..."

"For God's sake Eli, the man is probably asleep!" She sounds in a huff, theatrically rolling away from him, repositioning herself and turning off her bed side light; determined to switch off, even if her husband won't.

After a couple more attempts to get through, Eli leaves a voicemail urgently requesting Fitz to call him back, before eventually, albeit reluctantly throwing in the towel and falling into a restless sleep.

xXx

Fitz can't remember the last time he slept so soundly. Although, he doesn't doubt for a second that it has everything to do with the sleeping beauty lying beside him; just having her near seems to fill him with a sense of inner peace. Not wanting to wake her, despite the thirsty intentions of his loins, he gently climbs out of bed. And blinking away the heaviness from his eyes, he reaches over and grabs his mobile phone from his bedside table to check the time...

"What's this?"

Much to his surprise and then horror there's a string of missed calls listed on his phone, all from Eli. He feels the blood literally drains from his face, leaving him ghostly pale in complexation… This can't be good, he thinks bleakly. Could it be that Eli knows? He shakes his head, no that's impossible; plus, if Liv had told her dad what was going on between them, she would have said… Panicked, a huge part of him just wants to delete the notifications from his phone and pretend they were never there, because deep down he knows that if he doesn't, inevitably the new-found happiness that he and Liv have established will be ruined… Suddenly, he feels sick to the stomach, as those pesky fears regarding their union begin to mount again… However, despite this, he also realises that he can no longer hide from his feelings, or more specifically hide them from Eli; he owes it to Liv to take the plunge and deal with her father head on… And so, as if to gather his strength, he takes one last lingering look at Liv (who is still fast asleep and totally oblivious to the atomic bomb that's about to go off) before silently making his way down the hall, closing the bathroom door behind him, to listen to Eli's voicemail in private…

Oh God! He feels awful... Eli sounds frantic, frightfully concerned about Liv's whereabouts; he doesn't know where she is and she won't answer his calls and now he's pleading for Fitz to call her, to see if he has any luck in tracking her down… "She'll answer to you Fitz, you're like a God father to her… she trusts you…"

There's that sick feeling again… Guilt. At the end of the message the last thing Eli asks is… "Call me back as soon as you get this Fitz."

His heart is hammering in his chest... Dare he call him back, dare he tell him that he knows exactly where Liv is, that she's in his bed, that he has made love to her and that they wish to start a life together? This was the moment of truth. Could he do it? Willing risk his relationship with Eli, for a shot of happiness and love with Liv... Nerves and a potent mixture of anxiety and anticipation turns his mouth dry and his palms sweaty, as with much trepidation he starts to dial Eli's number back...

xXx

He jumps, genuinely startled by the delicate pair of arms now presently working their way around his waist... He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her enter the room... Affectionately, she reaches up on her tip toes, and begins to nuzzle his neck, leaving a few kisses in her wake... "Hi..." she whispers almost seductively against his ear...

He can't handle it.

"Liv stop..." He retorts guardedly, turning out of her embrace to face her, although unable to make eye contact, as he mentally begins the process of shutting down and distancing himself, sadly it's a process which she's all too familiar with.

"Fitz...?" She questions knowingly... "Fitz, look at me... what's going on?" she implores.

He honestly doesn't know where to start... He's submerged in so much guilt right now, he's finding it difficult to breath- let alone speak... She's searching his face for answers, but coming up short... panicked she starts to look elsewhere for clues- anything to explain why he's suddenly withdrawing from her... A few seconds later her eyes home in on a note pad lying across from him; where scribed in his tidy penmanship is: today's date, her name, a reference number and a flight time- the flight he had just booked for her to return to Washington DC, later tonight, alone... Upon her recognition, he finally speaks, but only to confirm her greatest fears... "I booked you a flight back home Liv... You leave this evening..."

"Why?" Sounding a lot more composed than she actually feels, she demands answers... "Fitz, would you kindly explain what the HELL is going on here!"

He swallows hard, his throat tightened by the rancid taste of his betrayal... Betrayal in which he feels towards her, as well as her father- his best friend of nearly 30 years.

"Eli called whilst we were asleep, in fact he called a great number of times... so I called him back... He was worried about you, he wanted my help in tracking you down... You see, you hadn't answered his calls or messages, he was scared that something had happened to you... I guess in a way, something bad did happen..."

"Don't..." she warns him.

"This was a mistake Liv..."

"Stop it..."

"I was a fool to think this could work... I was a fool to believe I was brave enough to love you..."

"Please..." she's crying openly now as her tears fall unbidden.

"You were right all along- I am a coward, I don't deserve you Liv, you deserve someone who can profess to the entire world that they love you... And for a brief and wonderful moment, I really hoped that I could be the person to do that... but I can't Liv... I'm pathetic and weak- because when faced with the opportunity to finally come clean to your father about us- I just couldn't do it... I'm so sorry..."

She's visibly trembling now, struggling to keep a check of her emotions. "Livvie..." he chokes out emotionally... "you're shaking..." Instinctively, he reaches out to her, desperately wanting to offer her comfort... But before he can get close, she lashes out at him...

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" She screams hysterically... "Don't you EVER touch me again... You lied to me... I believed in you, I TRUSTED YOU!"

All he can do is apologise profusely... "Liv, I'm so sorry..."

"Don't you dare apologise, don't you dare!"

"Liv, you've got to believe me- the last thing I EVER wanted to do was hurt you..." He conveys with real sincerity, and in a way, a huge part of her knows that it's the truth... however she's far too hurt to accept it... "Well Fitz, that's exactly what you've done... You've hurt me in more ways than you'll ever know..." Feeling completely broken inside, in an act of self preservation and also retreat, she slowly starts to back away from him... "I need to get out of here!" She declares shakily, "I need to leave RIGHT now..."

"But Liv, your flight's not for hours... at least..."

"No!" She cuts him off sharply... "Call me a cab... never-mind- I'll do it myself..."

"Liv, please..."

"Liv please what?! Calm down? Let's talk about it some more; maybe we can try and find a way to put this behind us, to try and move on... or better yet, pretend that none of this ever happened- To ignore the fact that my heart is shattered into tiny little pieces, because you want me to forget what is feels like to be loved and held and touched by a man whom only a few hours ago swore that he loved me- who promised to stand by me- to STAND UP for both of us... Only to have all those feelings and memories obliterated by your cowardice and failures as a man... Forget it Fitz... I can't be here with you a second longer... I just can't..."

What can he possible say in response to that? Nothing really... because he doesn't have the nerve to confess that his decision to send her back home has left him heartbroken too- and he wouldn't dream of telling her that he has serious doubts in his ability to face the loneliness, he is sure to face when she has gone... After all, he only has himself to blame; he has brought this all on himself... If only he could be the man she deserves... If only he had what it takes to love her openly and freely... So instead, bereft of strength to fight her or himself really... he offers to do the only thing he actually can do for her right now... and that is to get her as far away from him as possible...

"I understand..." He deliberately turns from her, shielding her from the tears forming in his own eyes, painfully aware that this could be the last time he'll ever see her again... Resolutely he picks up his phone and in a low sombre voice says... "I'll call you a cab..."