To make up for my tardiness last year, here's another part for you.

Part 13

"Liv, I know you're in there... please, let me in..."

He can literally hear the cogs turning in her head, as she decides whether or not to open the door.

"I just want to talk..." He adds in a steady tone, hoping to mask his vulnerability an anxiety from his voice. Because he is scared; scared that she may never let him in again. Eventually, and much to his relief, he starts to hear the familiar rattle of the chain, before the unlatching of the door. Thank goodness he thinks, although acutely aware that the hardest part is yet to come.

"Hi..."

She really doesn't want to do this with him... "Why are you here Fitz?" To his ears she sounds exhausted and to his eyes she looks fragile and unsure of herself. And he's never felt more guilty, for he knows he's the cause of it all. He wishes he could simply reach out to her, to pull her into his arms whilst he apologises to her, over and over again, but he knows he can't... She wouldn't let him get that close again... "Can, I come in?"

"It depends?"

"Depends on what?"

"If you've come here to hurt me..."

His heart literally sinks to the floor, whilst his self-loathing begins to steadily rise to the surface... "Liv, I'm so sorry."

"Aren't we all?" She sighs, revealing her own regrets.

Against her better judgement, she chooses to step aside and let him in... "You better come in, before I change my mind..." she cautions.

Not wanting to test that theory, wordlessly, he follows her into the living room and takes the seat opposite to where she plants herself. "So..." she begins, breaking the budding silence between them... "You came to talk, so talk... Although, I don't quite know what else there is left to say, you made it abundantly clear that we couldn't be together... so unless you've changed your mind, I don't really see why you're here?"

With eyes downcast, struggling to find the right words, he cracks his knuckles to release some of the tension. She can sense his nervousness, and with a patience she doesn't even know she possess, or that he deserves, she gives him a moment to collect himself and his thoughts... When he appears ready to finally get it off his chest, to say what needs to be said, he looks over at her and with such strong intensity it throws her off base a little... "Liv, since you left, I've been struggling with the way I treated you, if I'm honest, from the moment you climbed into that cab and drove away, I realised I had made a mistake."

She swallows... "What are you saying Fitz?"

"What I'm saying is... I panicked. I should have waited; sat down and discussed it with you properly, before even booking that flight. I should have given you the courtesy you deserved, but I didn't."

"No, you didn't... instead you treated me like a child! One minute I was your equal, the WOMAN you had made love to, and then the next- you had completely overruled and undermined me. It was if I had no say in what I wanted, or how I felt about the situation..."

"I know Liv, and I'm sorry... I was wrong."

"Wrong?" She doesn't dare hope, but she needs to know exactly what he means by that statement... "Wrong- as in how you went about it, or wrong about the decision you made to end it..."

"I was wrong about the way I approach it..." he clarifies, knowing it's not what she wants to hear... "Liv, I still believe the decision I made to end it was right..."

Suddenly feeling chocked up, she just nods her head in understanding, because she understands all too perfectly now.

Nothing has changed, so why come back Fitz?

"I'm sorry..."

"I thought you said, you didn't come here to hurt me..."

"Liv..."

"NO! You've said you piece, now it's my turn to speak..." Her lip is trembling, fighting desperately against the onslaught of her tears, but she presses on regardless... "When I got back, I spent weeks reliving our first night together, and as much as I wanted to convince myself it was all a lie, I just couldn't... Because, I knew the truth! That night wasn't even about sex- it was about two lost souls uniting and finally coming together..." She's crying openly now, but she doesn't care... "Fitz, you gave me a part of you that night, that you can NEVER take back... and the only reason, the only reason you let me go, was because you were scared of what my father would think... And in that moment of cowardliness, you destroyed us... And for what Fitz? A lifetime of loneliness and despair...?"

Her emotions are so raw and she's cutting so close to the bone, that it's bringing him to his knees... "Maybe you're right Liv... but none of that matters now- like you said the damage is already done, I destroyed us, right? Because the ugly truth is, I destroy everything I touch... it's what I do best... If anything Liv, I did you a favour by letting you go..."

"Stop it!" Despite everything he's put her through, she can't bear the depths of his self-deprecation...

But there's no stopping him; after weeks of solitude and bottled up emotions it's all spilling out... "Who was I kidding, thinking I could have you... I AM a coward! I don't have the strength to admit that I love you... I'm not that guy... I'm too broken, far too damaged for someone like you..."

"Fitz please..."

There's a catch to his voice, as he adds bitterly... "I'm not surprised that you moved on... Franklin... He looks like a decent guy; smart, good looking, confident... You deserve a man like him, someone who will not hesitate to profess their love to you Liv..."

"But I don't love him..." she admits.

"You will, and if not him, then some other man, when you find out that he can give you more than I EVER could..."

He gets up, needing to retreat... he's done what he came to do- why prolong this torture... But she rises to her feet too, challenging him... "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to Vermont... I only came back to apologise to you in person, to try and explain myself, and to make sure you were alright..."

"But you haven't asked me if I'm alright!"

"Please Liv, I don't want to play any games..." he sounds tired now; bereft of the energy that it takes to keep up with her... Besides, he doesn't see the point in asking if she's okay; because he knows she is... She's moved on, whereas he can't. With a heavy heart, he turns away from her and makes his way towards the front door... Enough is enough, he thinks; but she seems unwilling to drop it and relentlessly follows him out.

"I'm not playing games Fitz, just ask me... ask me if I'm okay?" She cries out to him.

He tries to ignore her anguish; he honestly can't face it, so instead, he focuses on opening the door... But before he can make a run for it, she spins him around to face her, to face her truth... "Ask me?"

He echo's her words from earlier... "Stop it Liv!"

"No, I won't..." He cannot fault her determination, in fact he admire's it, he always has, but in the end it's those teary red rimmed eyes of hers, that finally causes him to fold.

"Okay... fine... Liv, are you alright?"

There's that lip again, quivering, as she plucks up the courage to confesses... "No Fitz, I'm not alright, because you see... I'm pregnant."