A/N:

this one is fun! it's a bit short but i did manage to get it out really quickly so i hope that's an acceptable trade-off i hope i did justice to the characters, because dialogue is hard sometimes!

Chapter 5: steven universe SMASHES the competition

"Sorry I'm late, Aizawa-san!" Steven called out as he approached the man. "Shuuzenji-san was a bit... overwhelming."

"Hm," he hummed noncommittally. "She tends to be like that."

Steven laughed. "She's nice though! So," he started, glancing around. "What's your class up to?"

"Battle exercises." Aizawa motioned to the screen in front of him, which Steven leaned forward to see. He watched as a boy with green hair (he hadn't spoken to him yet, but he was pretty sure his name began with an 'M') danced between attacks, pulling off an impressive display of acrobatics as he gracefully took out a boy with a laser coming from his stomach (Aoyama, if he remembered correctly) and a boy who dispensed tape from his arms (Sero, he was sure).

Aizawa leaned forward to speak into a microphone. "Aoyama and Sero have been eliminated."

Steven's eyes roamed, eyes catching on other screens showing off various fights. Some, he noticed, were particularly violent, and he couldn't help but frown. It was understandable that they'd need to learn to fight; after all, they were training to become heroes, and if the villains in this world were anything like the comic books, they would be ten times more vicious. However, surely there were less brutal ways of taking down villains? If they couldn't be talked down, shouldn't a simple pair of handcuffs be enough for most criminals?

He voiced this thought to Aizawa. "Shouldn't you be teaching them more than how to fight?"

The man raised an eyebrow as he turned. "What brought this on?"

"It's just… I know I've been here less than a day, but everyone here is so ready to fight. Basically the moment I fell into the dorms, they attacked me and tied me to a chair." He didn't mention the way Nedzu wanted him to fight Aizawa barely hours after arriving. This wasn't the time for that. "Mirio beat up everyone in order to prove a point. A-and he wanted to spar with me right after."

"It's not that I don't like sparring," he quickly backed up. "I love it! I did it a lot with the Gems or with Connie. And I don't really know anything about how heroes work here anyway, but, wouldn't it make more sense for you to teach them how to rescue people? Or how to talk down a villain? Or even other methods of apprehending them without using violence."

"Most villains won't let you find a non-violent solution," Aizawa noted.

"I know that not everyone can be reasonable," he countered. "But there are better ways of apprehending someone without unnecessary violence!"

The man turned his attention back to the monitors, silent. "There are," he said quietly, "but not every villain gives you that choice. My class has already been the target of numerous attacks by some of the most heinous bastards I've encountered."

This was new. The times he'd spoken to Aizawa, he was always tired and annoyed. There wasn't this, this undercurrent of rage so powerful Steven could practically feel it radiating off of him.

"These kids are far from normal," he continued, seemingly oblivious to what he was doing. "They've been the target of so much misfortune, I've made it my duty to prevent that from happening ever again. If they're going to be able to defend themselves, then they need as much training as they can get."

The rage ebbed, his gaze softening. "And besides, we can't only teach them to fight. Rescue training is a large part of the curriculum, and beginning in their second year we introduce more non-violent approaches to hero work. So, to answer your question, of course we teach them more than how to fight."

"Oh." That was all Steven could say as he sheepishly backed away. He still stood by his opinion, but with all this new information he had to admit it made a little more sense. If kids this young (they were only a year younger than him but that was irrelevant) were being targeted by villains (totally different than when other gems kept trying to kill him), then it was probably prudent to make sure they could fight back.

And besides, wasn't he even younger than them when he first started to get involved in Gem stuff? Most of which was fighting? If he complained about what these kids were being taught, didn't that make him a hypocrite?

(On second thought, no. He didn't want anyone to go through the stuff he did. It wasn't hypocrisy to want to make the world a better place to live in.)

Steven set his jaw and went back to watching the feed with Aizawa, taking care to note specific things about the students' quirks and how they fought. If he was going to be here, he would do his best to prepare these kids as best as he could.

If he couldn't protect them, at least they would be able to protect themselves.

Steven stretched out on a couch in the common room, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. After the end of 1-A's hero training, he'd declined to join them in their other classes and returned to the dorms to take some time to himself and relax.

He had originally planned on playing some guitar, until he remembered that, oh right, it was still in his car.

Which was in another universe.

So, plans derailed, he decided to just take a moment to himself. The couch was comfortable, and he could use the break. Steven also took the time to look up stuff on the internet in an attempt to fill in his historical knowledge gap.

The blond student who'd been cooking the day before was also there, wiping down windows and scrubbing the floor to a pristine sheen. Steven had offered to help out (something about house arrest, according to something Aizawa said) but all he'd received in response was a scowl.

The doors flung open with a bang, and Steven shot up to see what was happening. Nothing serious, as it turned out, just class 1-A returning from their lessons. Leading the pack was the pink-skinned girl, who scanned the room until she locked eyes with him.

"You!"

Steven blinked in surprise. "Me?"

She ran over, followed shortly after by a few other students.

"Yes!" she skidded to a halt right in front of him, at the back of the sofa. "You! You turn pink."

What was this girl talking about? Steven glanced at his gem, figuring out what to say. "Yeah, I guess I am…"

"You're pink! I'm pink!" She was practically vibrating in excitement. "I've never met anyone pink!"

Someone behind her snorted, and he could barely hear them say, "Ashido stating the obvious."

"Huh." A small smile spread on his face. "Nice to meet another pink person." He stuck out a fist, expecting to receive a fist bump back, but instead he was blindsided by her jumping over the back of the couch and landing on her head, almost colliding with him.

She was soon joined by Kaminari, while the rest (Sero, Kirishima, and the invisible girl whose name he hadn't yet caught) took a more normal route onto the neighboring couch.

"Pink buddies!" Ashido finally righted herself and tapped her knuckles against his own, her silly grin threatening to spread to himself.

From the other couch, someone gasped. Steven turned to find Kirishima grasping his chest in a dramatic manner that had those sitting next to unsuccessfully attempting to stifle their giggles.

"But Ashido! I thought," and here his heartbroken facade cracks, unable to take himself too seriously, "—I thought we were horn buddies?"

"Kiri!" Ashido, still upside down on the couch, reached out her hand towards him. "My beloved! I'll always be your horn buddy!"

Kirishima wiped a fake tear from his eye. "And I'll always be your horn buddy!" He strained to meet her hand, losing balance and falling flat on his face. That was the final straw for everyone else sitting there, and the students were practically crying with laughter at their friends' antics.

Even Steven had to laugh. He might have been a stranger to them, but that level of absurdity was too much for even him to handle with a straight face. And besides, he liked the ring of 'pink buddies'.

"Pink buddies," he nodded solemnly as they picked themselves up. "Finally, someone understands the perils of being too fabulous."

Ashido squealed in delight. "Oh my god, I told you he'd get it! Universe-senpai, you are perfect."

"Senpai?" Steven snorted. "Stars, just— just call me Steven. It's bad enough Aizawa keeps on calling me Universe."

"Mmm, I don't know…" the invisible girl said. "Universe is a really cool name!"

"It's manly," Kirishima said, climbing back onto his seat, emphasizing the manly.

"Okay, sure," Steven rolled his eyes in amusement, "but I'm not used to being called by my last name."

"Of course, Steven," Ashido said seriously. "Anything for my pink buddy."

Something flew at him, and he caught it reflexively. Upon inspection, it seemed to be a video game controller.

"Nice catch," grinned Sero. "We were gonna play Smash Bros— wanna join?"

On one hand, he reflexively wanted to refuse, not wanting to disrupt their group.

On the other hand, they were the ones inviting him. They didn't have to engage with him in the first place.

Mind made up, Steven grinned sharply. "Sure, if you don't mind losing to me."

That got them all riled up. "Oh, you're on," Kaminari grinned back.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"Kaminari, I swear to all that is sacred, don't do it don't you fucking dare—"

Kaminari did.

Ashido screamed.

Steven calmly pressed buttons on the controller, uncaring about the chaos surrounding him.

"How are you so good?" Sero complained when he was hit with yet another forward smash, knocking him out of the game.

Steven shrugged, managing to take a sip of water while evading Hagakure's furious pursuit. "Never went to school, so I had time to play a lot of games."

Ashido slumped back. "Ugh. That sounds like a dream."

"Not really," Steven disagreed. "I had more free time, but I also can't do, like, any math."

"Saaame," Kaminari droned. "Except, y'know, I did go to school." He frowned at that statement. "School sucks anyways. Math is dumb— does anyone even use math? I don't."

"Have you ever bought anything?"

"Yeah?" Kaminari questioned. "What does that— oh."

Steven snorted. "Exactly. It's not all bad, though," he shrugged. "I read a lot of books and I'm not stupid."

With a final attack, Steven won his fifth game in a row, to the others' frustration.

"Alright, I'm done," he stood up and stretched. He needed to make himself something to eat.

"Finally, us mortals have a chance!"

Ashido groaned, falling into his side, but Steven just extricated her with a smirk.

"Noooo, don't leave me…" she said, making no move to get up.

"It's not like I'm leaving, you'll survive without me." He chuckled, patting her once on the head before leaving to the kitchen area.

"Uh… Asui, was it?" Steven greeted the student as she stood at the cooktop.

"Yes, but please call me Tsu, kero," she said.

"Of course!" He smiled at her. "As long as you call me Steven." After she nodded, he looked over to see that she was making curry. "Are you cooking for everyone?"

She nodded.

"Mind if I help you?"

"Go ahead. I think we'll need another pot so that everyone can have some."

"Got it," he affirmed. Rounding the corner, he noted the ingredients that she had out. He'd learned to cook curry with Connie, and while Japanese curry was a bit different he didn't think he'd have trouble adjusting.

Steven was halfway through making a batch of vegetarian when Tsu spoke up. "Are you okay?"

"What?" He looked up, distracted by the odd question.

"I asked if you were okay, kero. You seem sad when you're quiet."

A moment of silence later, he said, "I'm a little sad, yeah. I miss my family and friends."

"That makes sense. I'm sorry that you got stuck here."

"It's— well, no, it's not fine, but I'm sure I'll get back soon. If Principal Nedzu and I can't figure out a way back, then my family will find a way here."

Tsu tilted her head. "Your family, are they half-aliens too?"

"Nah," Steven snorted. "They're full aliens, except for my human dad. They're called gems, and although they're not technically related to me they've lived with me most of my life. There's Garnet and Pearl, who act like my aunts most of the time, and Amethyst is like the older sister I never had, even if she's a few thousand years old." He smiled wistfully.

The girl took the age comment in stride, which Steven thought admirable. Most people freaked when they found out how old gems really were. "What about your mom?"

Steven's smile turned bitter. "She's not around. Gems aren't really alive, in the biological sense. Their bodies are made of light, and it's all controlled by their gem," he gestured to his own. "In order to have me, she had to give up her form."

He returned to his cooking, but tensed when he felt arms wrap around him from behind. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine being without my mom."

Relaxing when he realized that she was hugging him, he shrugged. "I've made my peace with it. I have a complicated relationship with her, even if I've never actually met her." He stopped, looking off into the distance.

Tsu stepped up next to him and tasted his curry with a spoon. "That tastes good, kero. I'll call everyone down."

Steven nodded, snapping out of his stupor, and went to prepare some plates, filling his own with his food. Tasting it, exhaled slowly through his nose, releasing the tension from his body as he did so.

It wasn't his intention to reveal so much, not to a stranger. But in the end, did it really matter that much? He wouldn't be here for too long, if he was lucky. Once he was gone, it didn't matter what he said to these people.

And besides, it was very kind of Tsu to listen to him and comfort him. First while playing video games, now while cooking… Maybe these students weren't as suspicious of him as he thought.

"YOOO, we got curry!" Kaminari screamed as he came in out of nowhere, almost running straight into the countertop. "You're a lifesaver, Tsu!" he yelled out.

"You're welcome, kero!" was the distant reply.

He only noticed Steven behind the counter after he loaded up his plate with rice and drowned it all in the curry. "Oh man, did you help too? Many thanks, oh Lord of Smash Bros, giver of sustenance," he bowed down in typical dramatic flair.

He laughed awkwardly at the unexpected strangeness of it, but ultimately played along. "Your gratitude is appreciated, young one. Rise, so you may return to spamming."

"You guys are dorks," Jirou snorted, stepping around Kaminari and grabbing food for herself. "Maybe you should return to studying rather than video games."

"But I already did my homework!" Kaminari whined.

"Did you do the math problems?"

Kaminari blanched. "Shit," he swore, running off.

"Dumbass," Jirou shook her head, a smile playing on her lips. She turned to Steven, saying, "Thanks for the food, Universe."

"Steven," he corrected, "But yeah, no problem! Although, to be fair, Tsu made about half of it. And prepared the rice."

"You still helped, and you didn't have to," Jirou reasoned. "It's appreciated."

"It's cool." Steven finally sat down at the bar, Jirou joining him as other students streamed around him, shouting their thanks at Tsuyu as they shoveled copious amounts of curry onto their plates.

They ate their meals as they listened to the common room roar to life, an atmosphere of comfort enveloping everyone, even if Steven wasn't really a part of them.

(It was only a matter of time.)

End Notes:

i'd once again like to thank the reader who messaged me on discord because many ideas came to fruition thanks to them Keep in mind that Steven might be a slightly unreliable narrator: there are totally students who are suspicious of him, but less than he thinks. Rather, those he thought didn't like him were more just "bruh wtf is happening" e.g. he plays smash with the bakusquad plus hagakure. Tsu in this chapter isn't sure about him, and she's definitely finding it hard to believe him on some things (few thousand years old lmao) but she sees that he's just a sad boy and decides that even if he's making stuff up, his feelings are real. Steven is a Kirby main and he's a god, but he will play anyone cute
Denki plays Pichu and spams thunderjolt (neutral special)
Eijiro plays any superheavy, but mostly K-Rool (belly armor, y'know)
Mina is an Inkling main and really tries to play the game well but ends up just using the roller over and over again
Hanta is a try-hard Joker main (and definitely the best if you exclude Steven)
Tooru plays Villager and Isabelle (but honestly just goes random most of the time) I spent too much time on that lol Next chapter might take a bit longer? Steven's going shopping and meeting one or two heroes, one of which is far nicer than the other.

Add me on Discord at blobertthebob#3284 — just let me know what fic you're coming from!