Author Notes - It seems like this story already has a few fans. Which means the pressure is on. Insert that 'pressure' scene from 'Squidward in Clarinetland'. Alternatively, the episode literally titled 'Pressure'.

This chapter oughta demonstrate the changes I'm kinda forced to implement here. All things considered, this might be one of the rougher chapters because I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this story. So if you can get through this one, then you'll make it through the rest of the story just fine.

If there's any dialogue or characters who don't appear in this chapter, such as Mrs Puff and her dialogue here, expect to see them show up in a later chapter. I'll try to feature most of the dialogue and noteworthy moments, even if I have to shuffle them around a bit. Otherwise, we'd get Mrs Puff appearing in every other chapter, much to the detriment of other characters. Such as a certain someone who shows up in her place...

CHAPTER TWO - K-K-K-K-KING J-J-J-JELLYFISH?!

Ah, zee rolling green hills of Jellyfish Fields: a place to experience nature at its most raw, and sometimes a bit tender from zee stings. Our poor friend Squidward is in for a bad time.

Squidward, to say the least, was not in a good mood. Understatement of the century. His morning had been ruined when a bunch of one-eyed robots came in and ruined his mud bath. Then, they stole produce from his garden. And now, he was in Jellyfish Fields.

'AAAHHHHH!' And he was screaming his head off.

The Fodder he had been chasing down had thrown the carrot away and suddenly pulled out an electrified rod, and was now chasing him with it. Squidward screamed like there was no tomorrow as he ran as fast as his four legs could carry him. Since the Fodder moved around on a sluggish wheel, Squidward was quick to outspeed it.

'AAHHHH!'

Only for him to run face-first into a jellyfish.

'AAAH!'

And another Jellyfish.

'AHHHHHH!'

And a third one. They had him surrounded and their stingers were already vibrating from an electrical charge. Once Squidward realised the mess he was in, he stopped screaming and gave each of the little critters his usual deadpanned expression.

'Alright…' He said, with a little sigh. 'Here it comes.'

The trio of Jellyfish laughed to themselves as they charged up their stingers and delivered high voltage shocks all through his body.

'OWWWWW!'

The force of the shock was enough to send him flying into the air, and he (painfully) crash-landed on the ground just a few feet away. Luckily for him, the jellyfish seemed pretty content with the pain coursing through each of his veins and so they simply left him alone. The Fodder laughed to itself, and rolled away to cause more trouble elsewhere.

'OOOWWWW!' Squidward screamed again, as if that would help him at all.

He stayed sitting on the ground, nursing the multiple horrible burns all over his body. Even just breathing felt uncomfortable.

'How could this possibly get any worse?' He asked himself. 'Oh wait, let me guess…'

'SQUUIIIIDWAAAARRDD!'

The octopus winced at the shrill voice getting louder and louder by the second. 'Yep. Right on cue.'

He got himself into a sitting position on a rock, trying to get as comfortable as he possibly could while in terrible pain. Unbearable ear pain added itself to the list when SpongeBob and friends ran over to him to make sure that he was okay, and he could only wonder what he did to make Neptune do this to him.

'Squidward!' SpongeBob yelled.

Squidward groaned again… what were Sandy and Patrick doing here too?

Patrick hummed blissfully. 'Mmm… anyone else smell cooked calamari?'

'That's me, you idiot!' Squidward shouted, to the star's non-reaction.

'Are you okay?' SpongeBob asked.

It took a lot of willpower for Squidward not to just murder the sponge right there. 'No I'm not okay, you barnacle head! Do I look like I'm okay?'

SpongeBob stepped forward and narrowed his eyes, as though it required a very keen eye to notice all the ways he was in pain.

'Well,' He said. 'Your nose does look pretty big. I mean bigger than usual, because it's usually pretty big, and you look clammy. And-' His mouth fell all the way open. 'Oh my gosh! You're bald!'

'Bald!' Patrick cried. 'BALD! BALD! BALD!'

Sandy could only roll her eyes.

'I've always been bald!' Squidward said, rubbing his aching head. 'But now I'm stung all over.'

'Well, according to the Jellyfisher Field Manual…' SpongeBob said, pulling out both the book and reading glasses out of his pocket, apparently. 'Severe jellyfish stings can be treated effectively by applying a thick layer of King Jellyfish jelly to the affected areas.'

He put the book and glasses away before what he just said finally sunk in.

He gulped, deeply. 'K-K-K-King J-J-J-Jellyfish?!'

'That fella's all the way on top of Spork Mountain!' Sandy said. 'I've never met tha critter maself, but I've heard he's an ornery little guy.'

Squidward sighed in resignation. 'Well I guess you're off to scale Spork Mountain and die a horrible death under the vicious tentacles of King Jellyfish.' He doubled-over and groaned. 'I'll stay here, balled up here in excruciating pain.'

SpongeBob gulped again; his previous encounter with King Jellyfish hadn't been especially pleasant. Mostly because of a certain sea cucumber, but still. One look at the fields and his friend, however, helped him make up his mind. Robots were rolling around, terrorising the poor jellyfish whose stingers couldn't do much against metal, and sad old Squidward was doubled over in pain. Pain from jellyfish and not robots, sure, but the mechanical mayhem was why he was there in the first place.

Suddenly, he puffed out his chest and spoke in a mighty 'manly' voice like a superhero. 'You do that! Don't worry, Squidward. I'll bring back that King Jellyfish jelly for you to rub all over yourself!'

Sandy winced; that wording 'rubbed' her the wrong way, if you will. 'Well, that's great and all, but how are we gonna get tha jelly from His Majesty when we get there?'

'I know!' Patrick yelled. 'We could ask him for some!'

No one gave Patrick's suggestion any attention.

'I have no idea!' SpongeBob said, still doing that manly voice. 'I admit, I'm making this all up as I go. But I won't give up until I return with that jellyfish jelly!'

'But how are we gonna deal with all those mean old robots?' Patrick asked.

'Like this!' Sandy replied with a smirk.

She leapt up into the air, screaming 'HIIIIII-YA!' as she did so for added effect, and delivered a powerful karate chop directly into a Fodder's face. The moment her hand made contact with the metal, the little robot practically exploded into hundreds of pieces.

'That's how!' She declared, smashing a metallic heart-looking-thing in her palm.

'Yeah!' SpongeBob said. 'With Sandy on our side-'

'Hey!' Patrick said. 'I can beat up robots too!'

Just to prove his point, Patrick ran towards another Fodder. This robot was the same one who had laughed at Squidward before, incidentally enough. He jumped up and gave the robot the mightiest belly slam you have ever seen, reducing the Fodder to nothing more than a metallic pancake.

'See?' He said.

'Okay, let me rephrase that.' SpongeBob said. 'With Sandy and Patrick on my side, I know that I can't fail!'

'Ya darn tootin'!' Sandy said. 'And, luckily for y'all, I've packed a few helpful supplies.'

From her pocket - how deep do these pockets go? - she produced a good ol' grappling hook. Why she felt the need to carry one of those around when she didn't even know she was going on a grand adventure today, your humble non-French narrator will never know.

Neither will I, I must admit.

Hey, I'm the narrator of this story, Frenchy.

'This'll make climbin' that there mountain easier than makin' toast!' She said. 'Com'on, boys. We've got a mountain ta climb!'

'Alright!' SpongeBob said. 'We're ready, we're ready!'

And so, the beloved trio rushed off towards Spork Mountain, leaving Squiddy by himself on that rock in terrible pain. On the bright side, he had managed to get himself into a position that reduced pain quite a bit. If only that position was actually comfortable otherwise.

'I am so doomed…' He muttered to himself.

Sandy led the charge over to the gigantic mountain, while Patrick made quick work of any Fodder they came across. No wonder they were named that; Patrick could just smack them a little, and their heads would come off. But, to be fair, they were built to be expendable. SpongeBob ran behind, already wondering if he needed to come along. His friends seemed to be doing a dang good job all on their own. Yet, it was his wish that caused this, so he had to come along even if he couldn't do much.

It didn't take long for them to reach the base of the mountain - I mean, do you want to read about our heroes doing nothing but running around an empty field for thirty minutes? The one problem was that it was steep, and I mean steep. Almost as steep as the road to Rock Bottom. SpongeBob had to bend himself all the way backwards to see it, and Sandy's endoskeleton did not let her look anywhere near the top. Patrick, meanwhile, fell over backwards.

'That's a tall mountain!' He remarked, as SpongeBob lifted him back onto his feet.

'This little ol' thing?' Sandy said. 'This is nothin'. Why, back in Texas, I climbed mountains that make this one look like a li'l baby. I'll be at the top faster than a jackrabbit-'

'I know that you can climb it.' SpongeBob said. 'But, uh, Patrick and I aren't so good at climbing.'

Sandy chuckled. 'Yeah, I still remember when we climbed up Coral Cliff. And I beat ya.'

'Hey! I beat you to the Krusty Krab, so we were even!'

Sandy chuckled. 'Naw, I'm just messin' with ya. I won't be able ta get tha jellyfish jelly without an expert in tha field, so I'm gonna need you boys ta come with me. That's what tha grapplin' hook is fer!'

She stepped back from the base of the cliff, in an attempt to get a better look at the top. Which was still impossible, so she just aimed the hook up and fired. The hook went flying through the air, and soon the rope went TWANG. Sandy knew she did something right when the rope stayed in place.

'Hold on tight, boys!' She said. 'And make sure ya don't let go!'

'But… that mountain is so high!' Patrick said. 'I don't think I can climb that.'

'Who said anything about climbin' tha mountain?'

'You did.' SpongeBob said. 'A few times, actually.'

'Well, I… just hold on as tight as ya can, and you'll see what I mean.'

The boys weren't quite sure what she was talking about, but still they grabbed onto her suit and held on tight. In a different kind of story, this would be a concerning way to start a scene. All Sandy did was press a single button on her grappling hook…

'WOOOAAAHHH!'

'AAAAHHHH!'

And the trio was launched up into the air! The device did all the work and carried our heroes up the cliff so fast that the boys nearly fell off, and Sandy had to really keep her grip to keep herself climbing. The 'air' pushed against them as they moved upwards so quickly that each little particle felt like a little needle.

'WE'RE GOING SO FAST, SPONGEBOB!' Patrick yelled, his open mouth flapping in the wind. 'ISN'T IT FUN?!'

'AAAHHHHHH!' SpongeBob, however, kept his eyes closed and hoped that they would reach the top soon. 'AAAHHHHHH!'

'Uh, SpongeBob.' Sandy said, very casually.

'WHAAA-A–A–AAT?!'

'We're at tha top.'

'AAAAAAaaaaaa… wait, really?'

SpongeBob opened his eyes, and almost screamed again when he saw the grassy floor of Jellyfish Fields down way below him. He wrapped his arms and legs all the way around Sandy a few times, seemingly unaware of the fact that they were currently standing on perfectly flat and grassy terrain near the top of the mountain.

'Oh. Heh heh…' He chuckled, cheeks turning red. 'Of course we are. I-I knew that.'

Sandy pried him off her suit and placed him gently on the ground. If he wasn't so dang adorable, she would've been a lot more frustrated with him.

Patrick licked his lips. 'Mmm… I smell ham.'

Sandy rolled her eyes. 'Are ya just really hungry today or somethin'?'

'Well, actually-'

'Don't answer that.'

SpongeBob dusted himself off and looked around. He couldn't remember the last time he came up this far, or if he climbed up so high at all, but he loved the aroma of the place. It was like the air in Jellyfish Fields, just a little thinner. A few jellyfish floated about in blissful harmony, with a few even floating around a little pond. And, of course, there was a robot wielding a giant hammer made entirely of meat. Wait, what?!

'Hold on a moment, Sandy.' He said. 'Patrick isn't just hungry. There's a robot with a giant ham for a hammer over there!'

Sandy's face did whatever the expression equivalent of '?' was. 'Huh? Are ya… wow. I thought ya were kiddin', but there it is! A robot with… a ham for a hammer?'

The joke clicked together in SpongeBob's head, and he laughed. 'Ham-mer! Bahahaha! I get it!'

Patrick tilted his head in confusion. 'I don't get it.'

'Well, you see, it has a hammer made entirely of ham. Ham. Mer. Hammer! Get it now?'

'I still don't get it.'

SpongeBob attempted to explain this to him a few more times, while Sandy could only shake her head, and none of them were quite aware of the approaching threat until-

'Look out!' Sandy yelled.

SpongeBob looked up to see - stay with me here - a giant piece of ham about to slam down onto his little square head.

'AAHH!'

He covered his eyes and waited for impact; his poor heart could only handle so much fear in one day. Except the impact never came. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that Patrick had grabbed onto the hammy hammer before the Ham-Mer could slam it down onto anyone. The little robot tugged and pulled against his grip as hard as it could try, but its hammer went nowhere.

I am perfectly aware of how that sounds without context.

'Hey!' Patrick yelled. 'Get your hands off my ham!'

I am also perfectly aware of how that sounds without context. He picked up the ham until the Ham-Mer's wheels couldn't touch the ground anymore, and smashed it into a million pieces onto the ground. With that, he could swallow the whole ham in a single gulp. Seeing as the ham was a little bigger than his whole torso, it was kind of impressive.

'Mmm…' He murmured. 'Tastes like grease.'

Sandy cringed. 'Ew… Well, turns out there's more than one kinda robot ta watch out fer..'

'Yeah. I can see it right over there.'

'Huh?'

There was a second Ham-Mer approaching them? Sandy could've sworn they had destroyed the only robot there was up this high. A quick karate chop from her ended its reign of terror pretty quickly.

'Okay,' She said. 'That should be tha last a-'

'Sandy, look out!' SpongeBob said. 'There's another one!'

Okay, Sandy was certain there was only one robot on the field a moment ago, and it was the robot she had just destroyed. But there was a third one, seemingly out of thin air.

'Where in tarnation are these robots…?' She asked herself.

Her voice trailed off when she noticed a machine, an odd looking machine with a satellite and a giant funnel pointed to the ground. Whatever it was, its satellite just barely surpassed her height. When Patrick made quick work of the third Ham-Mer (eating its hammer in the process), a fourth robot emerged from the funnel.

'Well, that explains it.' Sandy remarked.

'There's the solution!' SpongeBob said. 'If we destroy that machine, then there won't be any more robots!'

'Yeah, up here. With tha rate it's goin' at, there's no way it's already flooded Bikini Bottom with those darn robots by itself. There's prob'bly hundreds of those machines.'

SpongeBob's features dropped slightly. 'Oh. Of course.'

'I'll handle this.'

Sandy found that the machine was incredibly fragile. A single karate chop caused the machine to cease function and wilt much like a flower. Whoever made this machine was clearly shoddy with their handiwork. (Hear that? That's the sound of a microorganism shouting in rage.)

'That was easy.' Sandy said. 'A little too e-'

'Sandy, look out!' SpongeBob yelled.

The sea sponge leapt from his spot and pushed Sandy aside. His puny weight didn't move her much, but it was just enough. Sandy was about to ask him why the heck he did that, before the machine suddenly exploded and scattered bits and pieces everywhere. It was a small explosion, to be sure, but SpongeBob could still feel the water heating up around him.

'Oh, it actually did explode.' SpongeBob said. 'For a second there I thought I just panicked.'

'I'm glad ya did.' Sandy said, getting them to their feet. 'If ya hadn't, ma body parts could've been scattered more than a spilled bag 'a marbles.'

SpongeBob winced. 'D-Don't give me that mental image ever again, please.'

Patrick had demolished this other Ham-Mer, once again consuming its hammer like he hadn't just eaten about three full hams already. Hopefully, he'd be full for a little while now.

'If the robots are this delicious,' He said. 'Then they can storm Bikini Bottom all they want!'

'Patrick!' SpongeBob said. 'Don't forget that we're here to get rid of those nasty robots.'

'Oh. Right. They were so yummy that I almost forgot!'

The grassy area on which they walked upon was rather small; barely big enough for a campsite, Sandy deduced. There was just a little bit more of the mountain to go, and all three heroes could hear somewhat familiar singing on the top. It came from what appeared to be a gigantic shower curtain decorated with seanut butter jars. Yes, really.

'Uh… what are shower curtains doin' all tha way up here?' Sandy asked.

'That must be where King Jellyfish is!' SpongeBob said, pointing to the top of the mountain. 'If we could just get up there, we could get the jelly that Squidward needs!'

Sandy whipped out the grappling hook again. 'Well, that's an easy solution!'

Once again, she delivered herself and the boys up the cliff with nothing more than the grappling hook. Fortunately for SpongeBob's fragile heart, this ride was much shorter than the last one. There, they arrived at the foot of the gigantic shower curtain. Shower fog poured out from the top and bottom of it, and the singing got much louder.

'King Jellyfish must be behind this curtain!' SpongeBob said.

'Well, what are we waitin' fer?' Sandy said. 'Let's go get some jelly!'

'Oh, I bet it would taste so good on those hammers!' Patrick said, clapping his hands together.

All three heroes peeked out from underneath the shower curtain - not quite realising the crazy breach in privacy. They saw King Jellyfish on the other side of it alright; the mighty king had a shower cap on, scrubbing himself all over underneath an appropriately-sized shower handle. It was kinda impressive how good the plumbing was this high up. The royal jellyfish, even more impressively, was humming a catchy little tune to himself as he bathed.

'Bah bah bah bah-bah-bah bah… DO-DO-DO-DO…'

'Catchy tune.' Patrick said, head-bopping to the beat.

'I knew that King Jellyfish was big,' SpongeBob said, staring in awe. 'But who knew he had such a beautiful voice!'

'SpongeBob!' Sandy whispered, as loudly as one could 'whisper'. 'Be quiet!'

Sandy's warning came too late, as the singing came to a dead stop.

'Huh?'

King Jellyfish glanced over - it can only be assumed - at the trio, ceasing all attempts at scrubbing himself clean. All three heroes could only give him nervous smiles while hoping he somehow couldn't see them.

'Heh heh… oops.' SpongeBob murmured.

'Hey!'

The mighty king may not have had any kind of face that one could see, but the electric waves emanating off his tentacles could only mean one thing. The tentacles flexed much like the arms of a person about to snap and punch you, and he slowly floated over to where our heroes hid.

'He's coming closer!' Patrick said, grinning like an idiot.

'Uh, S-SpongeBob…' Sandy said. 'Y-You're tha jellyfish expert here. What do we do now?'

SpongeBob grinned. 'Oh, that's easy. … WE RUUUUUUUN!'

Our heroes screamed as loudly as their lungs could allow them, and they clambered down the cliff faster than they realised they ever could. King Jellyfish was close behind them, and his electrical charges were only growing stronger and stronger by the second.

'Now what?!' Patrick asked, whole body shaking.

'Uh, we, uh…' SpongeBob stammered.

His mind came up a total blank. First, he caused the robotic apocalypse. And now, his big mouth had the king after them! Why couldn't he help his friends out for once?

'I've got an idea!' Sandy said. 'Hidin' in that cave!'

SpongeBob hadn't even noticed the cave up until now, but there it was - a little cave (more like an alcove, to be honest) in the cliffside. It wasn't much, and it was far darker than he'd appreciate, but King Jellyfish could've zapped them at any moment.

'Good idea, Sandy!' He said, trying to keep his nerves together.

So, all three heroes charged for the cave and hid behind three big rocks that happened to be the same size (and similar shape) to them, peeking out from them just a little. The darkness of the cave enveloped them, keeping them safe from the angry king who floated around just a few feet away from the entrance. He couldn't even hear their shaking bones.

Sandy looked behind them, and peered at the big cavern before them. 'If we're lucky, then this here oughta get us back down tha mountain. There's a lotta spikes though.'

'But we can't leave now!' SpongeBob said, before he noticed his volume and whispered, 'Squidward needs that King Jellyfish jelly, and it isn't just something you can buy!'

'It… was…'

This voice - that did not belong to Patrick - prompted all three heroes to look at a massive stalagmite just a few feet away. Sandy did not recognise this voice at all, while Patrick was sure he had heard it from somewhere. SpongeBob, however, knew that voice all too well. An individual emerged from behind the stalagmite. The moment he recognised this green lad, SpongeBob's eyes widened.

'K-Kevin?'

'SpongeBob…' The sea cucumber muttered, narrowing his eyes.

'Kevin?' Sandy questioned.

'Patrick!' Patrick blurted out. 'Oh. We're not doing that?'

SpongeBob wasn't sure how to feel about seeing his former idol standing right there in front of him. Part of him wanted to be angry; those taunting jeers of 'loooooo-ser' still stung much like the jellyfish he would catch. But just one look and it was clear that Kevin was not doing so hot. His body was covered in tiny jellyfish stings, his clothes were tattered, and a donated 'crown' had been sticky-taped crudely to his head.

'Okay, I'm sorry.' Sandy said, stepping forward. 'I'm new to tha jellyfishin' thing. Who are ya?'

Kevin rolled his eyes. 'Oh, surely you've heard of me. Kevin C. Cucumber. I am… was… the leader of the Jellyspotters. The premier jellyfish enthusiast club. I was well-known and loved by that nerdy community, making dough off my branded ointment… until that little cheese head got me kicked out and turned into a pariah! Now, all I've gotten to do since then was host some auditions for a cruddy movie, and hide in this cave.'

SpongeBob frowned. 'Hey, that wasn't my fault! You made me think I was gonna catch a Queen Jellyfish, and you attacked me, and… and you cowered away from King Jellyfish! The Jellyspotters thought you were a coward. All I wanted to do was keep us all safe!'

'Oh boy…' Sandy murmured. 'I see an unfortunate history.' A lightbulb went off. 'Wait! Ya just said ya have some branded ointment fer jellyfish stings! If ya just give us some 'a that now, it would save us all a lotta trouble. I can even help ya get outta here, if ya want.'

'Yeah!' Patrick said, putting his hands on his hips.

Truthfully, Patrick wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he wanted to be a part of this conversation. Our heroes glared at Kevin, waiting for him to hand over the ointment, only for him to pout at them.

'No,' He said. 'I said I was making dough off that ointment. After SpongeBob dethroned me, my supplier of King Jellyfish jelly refused to serve me anymore! And since I was the only one who could force - uh, I mean ask - people to go fetch that elusive jelly…'

'There ain't nowhere ta buy that ointment anymore.' Sandy said, before she turned to SpongeBob. 'What exactly did he do ta deserve gettin' dethroned, thus cuttin' off our easy supply of ointment?'

'Uh, he called me a loser a lot of times.' SpongeBob replied.

'He WHAT?! … Okay, he deserved it.'

'So… we have to get jelly from King Jellyfish?' Patrick asked, beginning to catch up.

Kevin looked at them all with a punchable little smirk. 'Looks like it. And you're gonna need a lot of it by the time you're done.'

The way he crossed his arms and grinned at them made Sandy want to rearrange his facial features, but she kept her muscles to herself. For now. Patrick trembled on the spot, his eyes darting over to the angry jellyfish outside, while SpongeBob paced around the cave. Even if one didn't consider it his fault that the king attacked them, it was still his fault that Squidward ended up here in the first place. Indirectly, of course. So, it was his duty to fix it.

'Wait, I know!' Patrick said. 'You defeated King Jellyfish last time, right? Well, just do what you did before! … Whatever it was.'

'Oh, I would.' SpongeBob said. 'But… I don't have my bubble wand with me. And we don't have the ingredients for a real pie either! Maybe if I rushed down to the Krusty Krab and made a Krabby Patty…'

'See?' Kevin said. 'There's nothing you can do now… loser!'

SpongeBob flinched. And Sandy glared directly at the sea cucumber.

'Alright, that's it!' She yelled. 'I'd rather deal with that ornery jellyfish than stand around this jerk fer a second longer. It would sting a whole lot less.'

The sea sponge gasped. 'No, Sandy! I can't let you do that!'

'Well, we're not gettin' anywhere by stayin' in this cave, are we? Either fer Squidward, or fer tha town. Don't fret, SpongeBob. I've wrangled with tougher creatures than this. And it beats sittin' here.'

'Don't!'

But his warning fell on deaf ears. Sandy charged out of the cave as fast as her clunky suit allowed, raising her arm to prepare a mighty karate chop.

'Hey, big guy!' She yelled. 'Ya missed with tha wrong squirrel!'

King Jellyfish turned around and emitted a little sound of confusion, only to be met with a quick and powerful karate chop to the 'face'. Any faster, and Sandy may have chopped him in half like butter.

'Gotcha!' She cried.

Except, she didn't. Her arm bounced off the critter much like throwing yourself into a bouncy castle. All that force was thrown back at her, and she fell inelegantly onto the ground before the king instead.

'OOF! That… that didn't go as planned.' She murmured.

She rubbed her head as well as she could through a glass helmet, and looked up at the beast above her. King Jellyfish certainly did not appreciate the assassination attempt, and now all of his stingers were brimming with even more electricity than before. He may not have had a face, but Sandy was certain that he was glaring down at her.

'Aw, nuts…' She muttered. 'I really gotta stop overestimatin' ma skill against big wild critters…'

She jumped to her feet as quickly as she could, and looked around for an escape route. Unfortunately, the only way out was the cave, and she sure as halibut wasn't going to lead King Jellyfish right to her friends. So, she stood her ground and didn't move.

'Alright, Your Majesty!' She yelled, clenching her fists. 'If y'all wanna hurt ma friends, ya gonna have ta get through me first!'

King Jellyfish lifted up a single stinger and aimed it at the ground, right where Sandy stood.

'Oh boy!'

She jumped out of the way and rolled across the ground, just in time for King Jellyfish to zap the very spot she had stood in with all the force of lightning. It was so close to its intended target that a little bit of smoke emanated from the tip of Sandy's tail.

'Come at me, King Jellyfish!'

From inside the cave, Kevin laughed like the bully he was. 'Look out, loser! Looks like 'fried squirrel' is going to be the newest item on the menu!'

'SANDY, NOOOO!'

Seemingly in the blink of an eye, SpongeBob had appeared in front of Sandy so quickly it was as though he teleported. He stood with his arms out wide, standing between his furry friend and the angry king in front of him. The electricity pouring from King Jellyfish's stingers relaxed, but only a little.

'?'

SpongeBob gulped. It was widely known among jellyfishing enthusiasts that King Jellyfish's stings were as powerful as you could get before death was all but guaranteed. Only Big Lenny's stings were more painful and powerful, and only one person in history had ever survived him. But now, here he was, being forced to confront this king once again. This time, with no bubble solution.

'If you want her,' SpongeBob said. 'You're gonna have to get through me first.'

'GO SPONGEBOB!' Patrick cheered, providing all-important moral support.

'SHHH!' Kevin said. 'Do you want that jellyfish to hear us?'

'BE QUIET, CUCUMBER!'

For a moment, Sandy could only stare in shock. Up against a giant angry jellyfish, the sea sponge was willing to do this… to keep her safe? Sometimes, she forgot just how sweet the little guy was.

'We can handle this together, SpongeBob!' She said. 'If we fight together, we-'

'No!'

He turned back to look at her as he yelled, and it made her cringe. It was so rare for him to look so determined to keep someone away.

'But SpongeBob-'

'Get back into the cave!' SpongeBob yelled. 'I've dealt with King Jellyfish before. Maybe, just maybe, I can avoid a nasty fight!'

Sandy didn't want to leave him there by himself. She really didn't. Whether she actually had feelings for him, or saw him as just a friend (you can draw your own conclusions on that one), she cared for him very much. But he had made it very clear what he wanted her to do, so she nodded and ducked back into the cave.

With everyone else out of danger, SpongeBob looked up at the King. The jellyfish's stingers were brimming with an electrical charge, but he stayed still. SpongeBob tried to give him a genuine smile, even though his quaking knees and bucketloads of sweat ruined the happy-go-lucky illusion. His nerves - well, a good chuck of them, anyway - disappeared when King Jellyfish spoke a single word to him.

'SpongeBob?'

The sea sponge managed to smile more genuinely. The royal jellyfish had remembered him from their fateful meeting so long ago. The electricity flowing through King Jellyfish's body died down just a little.

'Yes.' SpongeBob said, talking nice and gently. 'It's me, SpongeBob. I gave you that wonderful bubble pie. I didn't mean to make you angry. That was all Kevin's idea.'

'DON'T BRING ME INTO THIS!' Kevin yelled from the cave, before Patrick gave him a quick slap. 'OW!'

'I SAID, BE QUIET!' Patrick shouted.

King Jellyfish emitted a sound much like growling. 'Keeee-viiiiin…'

The voice brimmed with anger, that was not lost on the sea cucumber. He would've run off screaming if Sandy didn't grab him by the shirt.

'You don't like Kevin very much,' SpongeBob said. 'Do you?'

'Keeeeviiiin… hurt Queen…'

SpongeBob's heart frowned (yes, frowned). 'He hurt your queen?!'

'Wanted Queen… for display. Captured her. Hurt her. Thought I lost her…'

If you could see the deadly glare that Sandy was giving Kevin at that moment, you'd need a new set of pants. The kind of glare that made it clear that she would've (figuratively) killed him if they weren't all in danger.

'But you… nice.' King Jellyfish said, pushing his limited English to the test. 'Gave me pie. Befriends subjects. Releases subjects after capture. Never hurts subjects. SpongeBob nice.'

SpongeBob blushed. 'O-Oh, I'm flattered!'

'Will not hurt you. Leave now. No harm. Except Kevin. Leave Kevin here.'

The sea sponge put his arms on his hips, like he was scolding Gary. 'Now, Mister, I agree that what Kevin did to you was awful, but do you think you're any better if you keep him here just to torture him?'

'Look at me!' Kevin said, emerging from the cave. 'My reputation is in ruins! Isn't that good enough?'

King Jellyfish gave the cucumber an eye-less glare, and his stingers charged up a bit.

'SpongeBob right. Kevin bad, but he lost enough.' He said. 'Kevin free to go. Unless he returns.'

'O-Oh, trust me.' Kevin said. 'I will never set foot in these fields ever again.'

'Uh, Your Majesty,' SpongeBob said, rubbing the back of his hand. 'If you wouldn't mind, I think you can return the favour. See, we have a friend who's in a lot of pain, and only your jelly is gonna make him feel better. If you don't mind, can you give us some of your jelly?'

'Okay, time to find another position…'

Squidward twisted his aching limbs around into a new and equally-awkward position, since they were getting tired. Only the most bizarre of poses could ease his pain.

'Oh well…' He murmured. 'At least I'm alone. And now that I've said that, SpongeBob should be returning in three, two, one…'

'SQUUUIIIDWAAAARRRDDD! WE HAVE THE JELLY!'

The octopus sighed. 'Well, at least I won't be in physical pain anymore. Should've said that sooner.'

For the first time in his life, Squidward was happy to see the stupid yellow sponge and his equally-stupid friends rushing towards him. SpongeBob held a bottle above his head, one filled with a green liquid; presumably, the jelly.

'Oh thank Neptune!' Squidward said, swiping it out of his hand before the sponge could say anything. 'I needed this.' His eyes narrowed. 'If this doesn't work, I'm going to kill you.'

'It will, Squidward!' SpongeBob said. 'I never get facts about jellyfish wrong.'

'I can vouch for that!' Patrick said.

'So…' Sandy said. 'Do ya need some privacy, or…?'

Squidward answered her question by slathering the green jelly all over himself right in front of them. The sounds he made as he did so were… interesting, if one were to listen to them with their eyes closed. The pleasure on his face did not help, and it made Sandy mildly uncomfortable.

'Oh, yeah…' Squidward said. 'Oh, that feels so much better.'

'Anything for my best friend Squidward!' SpongeBob said, before stepping closer. 'Can I rub some on?'

Sandy shot him a baffled look.

'Ooh! Can I rub some on too?' Patrick asked.

'Uh… no thanks.' Squidward said. 'I think I've got this.'

Our three heroes watched him for a lengthy period of time as he covered himself with that King Jellyfish jelly. Soon, he rubbed it so liberally over his body that it had become a thin layer that absorbed into his skin like a moisturiser. And it kinda worked like one too.

'My skin is even softer than usual!' Squidward said. 'Thanks SpongeBob. … That's a rare sentence from me.'

'You're welcome, Squidward!' SpongeBob said. 'And sorry for summoning all these robots. See, I was playing with Patrick, and I wished-'

Squidward's smile faded. 'I should have known that this whole robot problem involved both of you. But, you did risk your life for this jelly, so I can't be that mad at you.'

'And now that I've fixed this problem, I can head to Downtown Bikini Bottom to help out with the robot problem! Come on, guys!'

The trio turned around to head for the aforementioned location, but they only made it a few feet until Squidward jumped out in front of them.

'Ohhhh no!' He said, leaning forward. 'You are not leaving without me. None of you can be trusted to be by yourself. Yes, Sandy, that includes you. We all still remember when you reduced this field to a flaming mess.'

Sandy blushed slightly. 'I-I was hopin' everyone forgot about that already…'

'So, to make sure you don't make the problem worse - and so you can keep me safe against these obnoxious robots - I'm coming with you. I'll be the only reason you don't all die.'

SpongeBob's smile grew and his eyes went wide and shimmery. It was all Squidward needed to regret his life choices.

'You mean that, Squidward?' SpongeBob asked. 'You really wanna come with us?'

'Want is not the right word.' Squidward replied. 'Need to is more accurate. But yes. I'm coming with. Clearly, the operation needs some brains, and I-'

'THANK YOU, SQUIDWARD!'

And the little yellow guy hugged him. If he hadn't fetched the jelly for him, Squidward would have pried him off right away. Today, however, he let the hug linger for just a little bit longer before pushing him away with two feet.

'Hooray!' Patrick yelled. 'We're a… four… tap… now!'

Squidward sighed. 'That's a quartet you…! Never mind. It isn't important.'

'Oh, before we leave,' SpongeBob said. 'There's a friend I'd like to introduce to you. He's right behind you.'

Squidward turned around…

'Name… Squidward. Correct?'

'AAAAHHHHHHHH!'

And then ran away screaming from the royal jellyfish. Right towards Downtown Bikini Bottom, conveniently enough.

Patrick tilted his head in confusion. 'Why's he so excited to get going?'

King Jellyfish rubbed his stingers together. 'Oops…'

'Oh, don't worry!' SpongeBob said. 'He just doesn't know you yet. You keep the fields safe from the robots, and we'll get to the bottom of this problem. Once again… come on, guys!'

And now our heroes ran off towards Downtown Bikini Bottom for real, racing after the newest member of their team. King Jellyfish watched them run off before he turned around to return to Spork Mountain; he wasn't going to keep his subjects safe by floating around randomly.

'I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEE!' Kevin yelled, charging off in a random direction; anywhere but here. 'I'M FINALLY FREEEEE-EEEE-EEEEE!'

'Ugh… finally.'

The whole time, Plankton had been making his long trek back down to the Chum Bucket. Fortunately for him, it wasn't too far away from SpongeBob's house. Well, for most people anyway. For someone of his side, a walk to the mailbox was a trek on its own. By the time he arrived at the doors, he fell onto his hands and knees.

When he caught his breath and looked up, his jaw fell. He couldn't see the doors to his restaurant/home, because there was a big metal plate in the way!

'Oh, you have got to be KIDDING ME!' He shouted. 'First they kick me out of my own home, and then they lock me out?!' He sighed. 'Seems about right.'

Well, now he needed to find a way back inside his own house. It would require all the thinking power he had to think up a solution.

'SPOT!' He yelled. 'Where are you, boy!'

In a matter of minutes, he could hear his beloved pet barking for him on the other side of the door. His happy yips warmed Plankton's heart; not that he would admit that.

'Oh thank Neptune, you're alright.' Plankton said. 'Now, make Daddy happy and disable my security system.'

What he got in response was a sad whimper.

'What do ya mean, you can't disable the security system?!'

The only response to this was an even sadder whimper.

'Oh, I'm sorry, Spot. Daddy's had a long day, that's all. It isn't your fault. Look, can you at least go find Karen for me? I doubt she'll open up the door for me, but it's worth a shot. It's my only shot, really.'

Spot yipped in the affirmative and ran away, once again leaving Plankton all by himself.

Author Notes - Definitely did not forget to add the Tar-Tar robot to this level. No sir. Not at all. ... Okay, so I may have forgotten it. Not to worry! A Tar-Tar will make its debut in the Goo Lagoon chapter, whereupon it will technically play a major role.

Partially to make up for cut content but mostly for my own enjoyment, Squidward shall be accompanying our heroes throughout the rest of the story! Seeing as Squidward is in the game's final cutscene AND there was originally supposed to be a Robo-Squidward fight, I wouldn't be surprised if Squidward was intended to be playable at some point. But, you know, REALLY early on in the game's development. I doubt he would've left the 'idea and planning' stage, to be honest.

Something I find interesting about 'I'm Your Biggest Fanatic' is that when King Jellyfish realises that the 'queen jellyfish' was just a ruse from Kevin, he mutters 'Keeeee-viiiiiin'. Which means he's met the guy before, and is quite clearly peeved off to see him again. Kinda makes you wonder what kind of history they had...