Author Notes - Alright, I like this chapter a lot more than the first one. Granted, I am the author, so I may be a bit biased. Then again, I find that fanfic writers are often biased against their own works.

CHAPTER THREE - WHEEL BE HERE A WHILE

Our heroes, now joined by zee cantankerous octopus, arrive at zeir next destination: Downtown Bikini Bottom. Once a bustling metropolis, now a debris-covered crater. It appears zat our detour to zee fields of Jellyfish may have caused our heroes to arrive too late.

SpongeBob stared out at Downtown Bikini Bottom in horror, seemingly staring off into space. The town was no stranger to apocalyptic events. A 'scary' butterfly, a nuclear monster, whelks sick with the sniffles, a giant octopus, even an ever growing mass of Krabby Patty meat… just to name a few. But something about this hit SpongeBob a little differently.

Frenchy did not exaggerate at all when he called the place a 'debris-covered crater'. Boatmobiles lay on the side of the street in crumbled messes, dents filled every building, the roads looked more like the surface of the moon than actual roads, and the scent of oil and fear (which smelled a lot like sweat and other bodily fluids) hung strong in the air. A few fallen buildings even littered the ground like tossed soda cans.

Where were the people? Seemingly nowhere to be found. They must've been hiding in their homes from the big scary robots, with their doors and windows shut as tight as could be. At least they had learnt from the 'Open Window Maniac' incident.

'Hoo-wee!' Sandy cried. 'I haven't seen a town in this bad 'a shape since a tornado tore through ma ol' Texan home.'

'I dunno…' Squidward said, looking as enthused as always. 'For this town's standards, it looks alright. Compared to what happened when the formula went missing, this doesn't seem too bad.'

A few robots roamed around what was left of this formerly-bustling city. Mostly Fodders, who laughed to themselves as they banged their bodies against the steel walls of the buildings. The occasional Ham-Mer rolled around and looked for more fish to beat up, only to hammer their own heads out of boredom for a lack of victims.

'Oh, this is all my fault!' SpongeBob yelled. 'If I didn't make that stupid wish, this wouldn't have happened!'

Squidward rolled his eyes. 'Yes, I know. You've only said that about ten times in the last five minutes.'

'HEY!' Patrick shouted, loudly enough to make him jump. 'Don't be mean to my best friend! You're here to help, so I'm being very merciful with you, BUT DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND!'

'O-Okay.' Squidward said with a gulp. 'I-I'll keep my mouth shut. For now.'

Sandy still didn't buy this 'wishing' thing. Now, she had long since accepted that Bikini Bottom wasn't the most scientific place in the world. When she first saw fire underwater, her brain practically imploded on itself and she had a headache for a week. But the idea of wishes coming true? Yes, she remembered that time everyone wished on a wishing well, but that was a wishing well. It had… some logical explanation.

But this was the same company who made the 'Magic Conch Shell'. For some reason, she was doubting their claims.

'SpongeBob,' She said. 'I don't think that-'

'PSSST!'

''Pssst' what, Sandy?' SpongeBob asked.

The squirrel shrugged. 'That wasn't me, SpongeBob. Tha voice came from-'

'PSSSSSST!'

'Over there.' Squidward said, pointing to a knocked over building.

The voice sounded organic enough, so they rushed over to it without much worry that it was secretly a robot who would attack them. The impact had left a nasty gash down the middle of the building that everyone could fit through, so they all delved into the darkness. With SpongeBob going first, of course, so he could protect his friends against anything that may attack them.

The inside of this building was quiet, and the light that spilled in was just enough to see everything. Just barely though. There was only one other person hiding in this destroyed building with them.

'I never thought I'd say this… but SpongeBob, am I glad to see you. Yegh… just saying that makes me feel ill.'

SpongeBob recognised that voice immediately, and as his vision adjusted to the darkness, he could see a certain pufferfish hiding in the corner.

'Mrs Puff!' He said, jumping to give her a great big hug. 'YOU'RE OKAY!'

'No hugs!' Mrs Puff yelled.

SpongeBob immediately stopped in midair and fell onto his face, in an amazing display of physics and trajectory.

Squidward smiled. 'Ah, a fellow member of the 'We Hate SpongeBob' Club. Coming this Tuesday?'

'Oh, of course I am.' Mrs Puff replied. 'The stories that I have are… that's beyond the point! You see me hiding in a knocked-over building and all you can ask me is…?! Never mind. The robots are destroying Downtown Bikini Bottom. We have to evacuate!'

SpongeBob peaked out through the crack in the building for a moment. 'Alright, but it's gonna take a while to get all this dust.'

Mrs Puff's fin slammed into her forehead, so hard that the sound echoed about five times. ''Vacuum' doesn't even sound like e…' She sighed. 'Not important. We have to get everyone to safety! Right now, all the citizens are hiding in their houses, but - as you can see - the buildings won't last much longer. We have to get them out somehow!'

'You have a lotta boats, doncha?' Sandy asked. 'Just load 'em onta those.'

Mrs Puff shook her head. 'That won't do us any good. The robots have taken all the steering wheels!'

Patrick put his hand up. 'Can't we just drive in a straight line?'

'No. There are too many turns.'

SpongeBob snapped his fingers in frustration. 'Those fiends! They thought of everything!'

Mrs Puff stopped her little explanation to rub her temples. As much as she was happy to receive SpongeBob's help (a sentence that will never be uttered ever again), it didn't stop him from reminding her why she hated him in the first place.

'But there's still hope!' She said, approaching the crack in the wall. 'See the lighthouse? Those robots have thrown all the steering wheels away in there!'

'Then just open it up.' Squidward remarked.

'You think we didn't try that?! The lighthouse is locked from the inside!'

'Who would do that?!' Patrick asked.

'The good thing is, they always forget to lock the top of the lighthouse. If you manage to get inside it, then you can unlock the door and get all the steering wheels back!'

Sandy smirked, and pulled out her grappling hook again. 'Well, ain't this an obvious solution.'

Patrick rubbed his chin. 'A little too obvious.'

No one bothered to ask Patrick what he meant by this, so our quartet ran out of the falling building and headed for the lighthouse instead. The back of the lighthouse, of course - way too many Fodders and Ham-Mers were blocking the entrance from the front.

'If you pull this off, SpongeBob,' Mrs Puff called from the building as they ran off. 'I'll give you five gold stars for being such a good noodle!'

SpongeBob turned around and smirked. 'How about a drivers' licence instead?'

'Nice try.'

The very moment our heroes arrived at the base of the lighthouse, Sandy fired her grappling hook all the way up the massive building. The lighthouse was nothing compared to Spork Mountain, and the hook reached its destination in moments.

'You boys stay here,' Sandy said. 'And watch out fer anymore robots. I'll take care 'a this all by maself.'

She pressed a single button and the hook carried her all the way up, even faster than before since she had no extra weight. So, it only took a few seconds for her to reach… a robot?

'Huh? Oh boy…'

Her hook had not attached to the lighthouse at all. It hadn't even touched the lighthouse. Instead, the hook was in the hand of a single robot. It was a type she hadn't seen before, though. It had a round body and no legs, floating in the air thanks to a propeller and grabbing onto her hook with a gloved hand that emerged from its head.

'Uh, can y'all give that back ta me?' Sandy asked, with a nervous smile. 'I kinda need that.'

The robot, known as a Chuck, just laughed at her before it yanked the hook right out of her hand. She stood there in the air for only a moment, before...

'AAAHHHHH!'

… gravity finally kicked in and she plummeted to the ground. It didn't take long until impact, but yet… the impact was strangely soft. She was half-expecting to be splattered against the ground, but instead-

'I'm glad I caught you…' Came a muffled voice much like SpongeBob's. 'But can you get off me now?'

That's when Sandy noticed the spongy pancake that she had landed on. 'Oh! Sorry, SpongeBob, and thanks for tha soft landin'!'

She peeled her flattened friend off the ground and fluffed the third dimension back into him like he was a pillow. After making sure he was okay, she looked up at the Chuck miles above her head. The dang thing was mocking her that very moment.

'That went well.' Squidward said, in the most deadpanned tone he could manage.

'Looks like tha grapplin' hook is outta tha question.' Sandy said, sighing. 'We're gonna need ta find another way up there.'

'I know!' Patrick said. 'How about we go through the front door?'

Squidward's hand met his eyes. 'Patrick, the door is locked.'

'Hey, I have an idea!' SpongeBob said, pointing to the buildings around them. 'If we platformed up those buildings, take a hop there, make a skip over that, do a little jump here… we can make it up to the lighthouse!'

Sandy's eyes followed where he was pointing, and she ran a few mental calculations to see if the plan would work. To her surprise, the spongy boy seemed to be onto something!

'Ya right, SpongeBob!' She said. 'It'll require a bit of jumpin', but it shouldn't be too hard.'

'It's just like a video game!' Patrick said.

'Wow.' Squidward said, sounding incredibly unimpressed. 'That's such a clever reference.'

The octopus should have been very glad that I am merely a narrator and not an author, thus lacking any sort of omnipotent power to punish him.

'Reference to what?' Patrick asked.

Squidward glared at him. 'To the vid-! Nevermind.'

The first step of their little platforming challenge was an easy one - three crashed boatmobiles created a series of three 'steps' to hop across onto the first building. The jumps weren't even that high either; all four of our heroes managed to make it up to the top in a matter of seconds. Though Squidward was not above complaining about it anyway.

'Look at this.' He whined as he climbed up the final step. 'Look at this! I was having a perfectly normal day, until those robots showed up. And now I have to hull myself up a building and-'

'You don't have ta be here, ya know.' Sandy said, giving him a look. 'Ya can just go back home.'

'And leave you guys to your own devices? This robot crisis would never be resolved!'

SpongeBob approached the edge of this low building, and scanned around for any available ledges. He could map out a path from here to the top of the lighthouse easily, but there was just one problem: the next ledge, and the only one that would get them closer to their goal, was far too wide for them to jump. It was at least the width of the road below, if not more.

'Oh, that gap looks big.' He murmured. 'Okay, I'm definitely not making that jump. … That gap looks impossible! It's impassable!'

'Alright, I get it.' Squidward said. 'The jump's impossible. Now what?'

Sandy smirked. 'No jump is impossible with just a li'l bitta Texas know-how!'

Her grappling hook was not the only tool she brought with her today, for she also had her lasso on her person. There was just one thing she needed: a place to grapple from. A nearby building had been knocked over just a few degrees, just enough that an external pipe provided a perfect little hook. Of course, she didn't need something like that for herself, but this would make it a lot easier to get everyone across.

She tossed the lasso and nailed the shot. 'Hold on tight, boys!'

Without a warning, she wrapped SpongeBob into one arm and held tight onto the rope with the other. He'd ask what was going on, if his mouth wasn't being so tightly compressed. Neither could he scream as Sandy jumped and swung across the gap like there wasn't a small army of robots waiting for them down below.

'Look out, Spongey!' She said.

Then, once again without much warning, she tossed SpongeBob across to the next building like he was a rag. He slammed into the metal roof face first and gave her a shaky thumbs up before he peeled himself off the floor. She didn't even land and immediately swung back the other way.

'OH!' Patrick said, waving his arms. 'Me next, me next!'

Sandy, admittedly a little frightened to carry all of Patrick's… padding, grabbed him anyway and used all of her strength to keep him in his grasp. A difficult task, mostly because he kept flailing his limbs in excitement.

'This is fun!' He declared, much to Squidward's annoyance.

Sandy was quick to throw him as quickly as she could. He managed to land on his feet after being thrown.

'Again!' He yelled. 'Again!'

Squidward rolled his eyes. 'That stupid piece of- WOAH!'

He wasn't expecting Sandy to grab him by the legs. His screams as he swung across the valley could be heard all over Bikini Bottom, and there wasn't a single moment of silence or even a breath from him. His limbs wouldn't stop flailing either.

'LET GO OF ME, YOU AIR-BREATHER!'

'Do ya want me ta feed ya to tha robots?'

'... I'll be quiet now.'

Despite his pleads and screams, both him and Sandy managed to make it across the gap in one piece. Sandy pulled her lasso off the little 'hook' and pulled it back before any of the robots down below could swipe it.

'There.' She said. 'That wasn't so bad. Was it, Squidward?'

'Yes.' Squidward said, narrowing his eyes at her. 'Yes it was.'

'Well, I think the hard part is over now.' SpongeBob said. 'It isn't too far from the lighthouse from here!'

'Aw…' Patrick said, frowning. 'I was beginning to like this platforming adventure…'

A few more buildings acted like stepping stones of sorts to higher heights, providing our heroes with a relatively easy way to get to the rooftops. Even Squidward wasn't struggling so much, though he didn't stop complaining about it. There weren't even many robots up there either! In fact, they were almost at the lighthouse, when…

'Hey! What are ya doing on my roof?!'

The door to a staircase slammed opened, revealing a fish looking at them all angrily. At least, your narrator is sure it was a fish. It's hard to tell, seeing as she's essentially a living spine. When she crawled across the roof over to her heroes, Squidward and Sandy both cringed and crunched up their faces. SpongeBob and Patrick, however, just smiled.

'Hi, Mary's mother!' SpongeBob greeted, waving.

'At least get my name right. It's NANCY!'

'Oh. Well, in that case. Hi, Nancy!'

Mary's mother - now dubbed Nancy (which was definitely not just because calling her 'Mary's mom' through the rest of this scene would be painful) - continued to glare at these intruders, but her scowl softened just a little.

'Excuse me.' Sandy said. 'But, uh, how do ya know this fish lady?'

'Patrick and I went on a double date with Nancy and her daughter Mary a while back!' SpongeBob replied.

'Alright, I'm not even gonna question that.'

'Yes, and it was terrible!' Nancy yelled. 'Other than the food. I'll admit, that was good. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WAS TERRIBLE! And don't get me started on your 'babysitting'.'

Squidward groaned, very loudly. 'Look, Miss, we're kinda busy. Just trying to STOP A ROBOTIC INVASION HERE! In fact, we were on our way to retrieve some wheels just so you and everyone else in this backwards town can evacuate. Now, if you don't mind-'

Nancy had stopped listening to him at around the word 'trying', and crawled back into her home. Just as everyone thought they had been freed from her, she returned near the end of Squidward's speech and chucked a TV antenna at his face. Hard enough to send him falling to the floor, no less.

'Well, if you're gonna be up here,' She said, narrowing her eyes (if she had any left). 'At least make yourselves useful and install this new TV antenna up there. Everyone's reception has been terrible! Just like our little double date…'

'This antenna is fer tha whole block? ... Why can't you do it?' Sandy asked, holding onto the new antenna herself.

'You want me to jump up there myself? I'm 154-years-old! Do you want me to break my spine?'

'That is all that's left of you…' Squidward murmured.

'Now get outta my face! I don't wanna see you again unless you replace that antenna!'

Only then did she go back inside, slamming the door behind her as she did so. Without arms or even legs, impressively enough.

'Alright,' Squidward said. 'With that little detour over, can we return to the task at hand?'

'But the antenna!' Patrick cried. 'We need to put it up.'

'I don't know if you people get it, but we have robots to get rid of. See, this is why I chose to come along. If I didn't, it would be far too easy for you nitwits to get distracted and help some random numpty with an insane quest.'

'LIKE A VIDEO GAME!' Patrick blurted out, once again.

'THIS ISN'T A VIDEO GAME, PATRICK!'

Sandy had to pull her arm out of its sleeve so she could bury her face in her hand. Since she was doing that, and Patrick and Squidward were too distracted with each other, SpongeBob was the only one who noticed a couple of new robots emerging from behind other buildings. They were new, alright; SpongeBob couldn't recognise them at all, and they looked nothing like the three types of robots he had already seen.

They were both shaped like big discs, with alternating stripes of green and purple. The strangest part about them, however, was the five gloved hands extending out of the sides. These babies were the G-Loves. Hyphenated and everything.

'Somehow,' SpongeBob said. 'I don't think they need a hand.'

'They?' Sandy said, before she gasped. 'Look out!'

Squidward was too busy with his little rant to notice. He threw up his tentacles in exasperation and walked away from Patrick, who was still trying to follow this bizarre conversation.

'And now,' The octopus ranted. 'We have to halt our entire plan to please a random spine of a fish who doesn't even like any of us! I don't understand…!'

Then, all of a sudden, he found himself in between two nasty G-Loves. Despite them having no visible faces, he could hear them laughing to themselves. Next thing he knew, he was being smacked back and forth between the spinning machines like there was no tomorrow, as though he was just a ragdoll on a tennis court. Weird analogy, I know, but stay with me.

'GET ME OUTTA HERE!' Squidward screamed as he bounced around.

'I'll save ya, Squidward!' Sandy said, whipping her lasso out once again.

Her lasso hit its target and tied one of the G-Love's hands together. In just one pull, she destroyed the robot and reduced it to a collection of metal parts.

'AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa…!'

Unfortunately, it was too late. Squidward was already flying away from our heroes at mach speed, soaring away like a shooting star, before-

BONK.

'Owww…'

He landed smack-dab in the Bikini Bottom Sea Needle.

'TEN POINTS!' Patrick said, throwing his fists into the air.

'Oh no!' SpongeBob cried. 'We have to help him!'

'Later, SpongeBob.' Sandy said. 'We have ta help tha townspeople get ta safety first. And ta do that, we'll need them wheels.'

The sea sponge frowned. 'Oh, alright. That is more important. But the second we can, we go and help our friend!'

While the remaining three heroes continued platforming across the rooftops, Squidward nursed his aching head. It seemed like this kind of stuff was always happening to him. Yet, despite the insane speed he had before crashing face-first into hard metal, he didn't feel that much pain. Perhaps he was simply used to all this physical abuse.

'Alright…' He muttered. 'Where in the halibut did I end up?'

He climbed onto his four legs and dusted himself off, like he didn't crash in like a meteorite. Looking around, he realised that he managed to get himself into a building. A very tall building. One filled with gaping holes that were definitely not supposed to be there. He recognised a tunnel that wrapped around in a circle, albeit one where a lot of the floor was now missing.

'Ah, the Bikini Bottom Sea Needle… I hate this place.'

Making sure his suction cups were extra sticky, he slowly approached one of the windows. Normally, the Sea Needle had massive windows that let you get a fantastic view of the city, without the crippling fear that you were gonna fall to your death. Well, more like 'float gently to the ground', since they were underwater, but still horrifying. Except this time, the window had been shattered so thoroughly that there was hardly any evidence that there used to be a window there at all.

'Oh, g-great. The one guy with a fear of heights ends up here. Wonderful.'

He backed away from the edge, as close to safety as he could possibly be. If he was lucky (which he probably wasn't), the way down was still standing and he wouldn't need to wait for rescue.

Something tapped his shoulder.

With a groan, he turned around. 'What do ya w-?'

There was a G-Love, standing right behind him.

'AHHHHHH!'

The G-Love laughed to itself and started spinning immediately, moving towards him at an alarming speed. Two Chucks hovered behind it, already armed with torpedoes all ready to go. Squidward, with no other option, turned around and ran away as fast as he could while screaming. Lucky for him, he had double the limbs of most people in this town, so he could outspeed them with ease.

'AAHHH!'

Until, of course, he had run around the Sea Needle before he could go no further than the halfway point. The floor had given way completely to nothing but open space and a dreadfully far drop below. Squidward jumped back just as he was about to throw himself off the building. He spun around; those awful robots were still after him, and the Chucks were taking aim.

Out of a moment of desperation, he reached into his 'pocket' - or whatever it was - and pulled out the only thing he had on his person: his clarinet.

'Uh, w-would a lovely serenade from my clarinet soothe your savage… circuits?'

With the robots coming ever closer, he gulped and began to play. He had hoped to play a relaxing tune to calm their anger, but in his nerves ended up playing a horrid cacophony of notes - more like excuses for notes - that even he realised didn't sound too good. After just a few notes, he ceased playing completely.

'Uh, m-must be my reed… huh?'

The robots weren't trying to attack him anymore. They were too busy holding their 'ears' and screeching out horrible sounds of agony. In mere seconds, their circuits stopped working and they collapsed to the ground. Squidward gave the G-Love a quick tap with his foot; it didn't even move, and just let out little zaps of electricity.

He frowned. 'Oh puh-lease. I know it wasn't my best work, but…' Then, he grinned. Widely. 'Wait a moment. If they can't handle a little bit of clarinet, then… oh-hoo, Squiddy! Looks like you've got yourself a weapon even more powerful than Sandy's stupid lasso.'

A few more robots of all types heard his little monologue and were already gunning around the corner. Then a few more. And even more! Probably every single robot in the whole needle was coming his way. Instead of running away to safety, Squidward gave them all a little smirk and charged right at them instead.

'You think you can stop me? Well, listen to the wrath of my beautiful clarinet!'

He took the deepest breath he could manage and delivered the most powerful - and most cacophonous - note that his clarinet was capable of playing. It was so loud that the sounds of exploding gears and short circuiting wires couldn't be heard at all. In just a few notes, the massive crowd of robots in front of him were nothing more than a big pile of scrap metal.

The octopus's ego went through the roof. Sandy's lasso and Patrick's brute strength? Absolutely nothing compared to the awesome might of his musical instrument! Well, he knew this already, but it was nice to have some proper confirmation.

'Oh hoo, wait until that annoying sponge and his dimwit friends get a look at this weapon!' His eyes caught a sparkle on the floor. 'Huh? What's this?'

Upon closer inspection, this shiny object couldn't be anything else but a big key. Judging by the little tag attached to it, it had to have been the key to the lighthouse.

'Well well well!' He said. 'Time to play hero while those idiots are busy climbing the rooftops!'

It took a lot of tedious jumping, but our heroes were finally at the top of the lighthouse. The second she hit the scene, Sandy delivered a big ol' karate chop into the face of the Chuck who took her grappling hook. Unfortunately, she couldn't find the hook itself, likely ensuring that she wouldn't be able to cheat her way out of situations anymore.

'Dang it…' She muttered. 'Well, at least we've got to tha lighthouse. If tha dang thing doesn't open up, I'm gonna be ornery.'

She spun the 'handle' of the door, and it opened like nothing. And thank Neptune for that; Sandy was not prepared to bust her way in the hard way.

'Come on, guys!' She said, before she realised that SpongeBob wasn't there. 'Uh, SpongeBob?'

'He's over there.' Patrick said, pointing in a random direction.

SpongeBob was still standing on the previous building they were climbing, up to the very top. He kicked an old and bent antenna off the roof, and stuck in the new one instead. Sandy didn't even know how he got it from her. Either way, the fish stuck inside the house cheered for finally getting their TV back.

'THANK NEPTUNE!' Nancy yelled from a couple houses down the block.

'You're welcome, people of Bikini Bottom!' SpongeBob said.

The sea sponge hopped across the gap and rejoined his friends, smiling delightfully like an idiot. Sandy wanted to question why he even bothered, but she quickly realised that she didn't need to. It was a nice thing to do. That was all the justification he needed.

'Now that I've done that,' SpongeBob said. 'We can break into this lighthouse and finally get all the steering wheels back!'

'But how are we gonna get them out if the door is locked?' Patrick asked.

'The door will unlock from the inside, Patrick.'

'Oh. Got it!'

The trio dashed into the lighthouse, only to be met with a mostly empty room with a single D1000 chilling by the wall. It spewed out a single robot: a Chuck, who was quick to take aim at our heroes.

'Run!' Sandy yelled.

Our heroes ducked and dove out of the way of an incoming rocket, which smacked into the floor hard enough to make it crack up all the way to the edges. Then again, perhaps that wasn't saying much, since the floor appeared to be made shoddily-built, likely by the robots too. Before anyone could figure out what was going on, the D1000 created another Chuck. The two flying robots gave each other a hi-five before they both pulled little torpedoes out of their bodies.

'Aw, I'm not fallin' fer this again!' Sandy declared.

She pulled out her lasso and grabbed one of those Chucks by its eyes. The robot swore at her in a beep-ish language, before she yanked on the rope and sent it tumbling to the floor. It broke apart in an instant, and the floor cracked up a little more. Another Chuck quickly replaced it.

'Someone, destroy that dang machine!' Sandy yelled.

Patrick put his hand up. 'I can do it!'

He grabbed one of those Chucks right out of the air, and chucked it across the room. See what I did there? It slammed into the D1000 and destroyed it in an instant, its parts collapsing and its gears ceasing to turn. Before the other Chuck could do anything, Patrick punched it to the ground and shattered it in a single hit.

'Be careful, guys!' SpongeBob said, still trying to figure out what to do. 'Those things explode, remember?'

Right on cue, the machine blew up and scattered its metal parts everywhere. And that must've been too much for the floor to handle, for it finally gave up and fell apart. Our heroes yelped and screamed as they fell through and landed on the next floor below. Directly onto their faces.

'Owww…' SpongeBob muttered, getting to his feet again. 'Everyone okay?'

'I'm good…'

'I can't feel my eyeballs…'

SpongeBob tried to look around-

'OOF!'

-only to receive a series of five gloved slaps directly to the face. By the final slap, he went flying backwards and slammed into the wall. The impact was hard enough to flatten him as he came to a sudden stop.

'HEY!' Patrick yelled. 'Don't hurt my friend like that!'

Patrick leapt into the air and slammed down stomach-first. The G-Love just barely moved out of the way, and he just barely missed his attack. Unfortunately for the G-Love, it wasn't enough. Patrick created a shockwave as his stomach hit the ground, and it frazzled all of the poor robot's circuits. So it was easy for Patrick to pick it up and toss it across the room, into the second D1000, like it was nothing.

Sandy just got done chopping another G-Love into scrap metal when she saw such a feat. 'Wow. Ya weren't kiddin', SpongeBob. Patrick really does have a lotta brawn.'

SpongeBob peeled himself off the wall and patted himself back into his cubic shape. 'Yeah… he does…'

Now more than ever, SpongeBob had to wonder… why was he even here? Of course, it was because this situation was all the fault of him and his stupid wish. Yet, it was like he didn't need to be here. Sandy and Patrick seemed able to handle these situations just fine without him. Sure, he was able to tame King Jellyfish, but it was his big mouth that got the king after them in the first place. Maybe if he wasn't there, Sandy could've thought of a solution all on her own…

He was so caught up in these thoughts that he didn't notice this floor giving away too, until he fell flat on his face once again.

'SPONGEBOB!' Patrick shouted. 'WE FOUND THE WHEELS!'

'And a few more of those rollin' rust buckets!' Sandy said.

At the sound of such good (and also kinda bad) news, SpongeBob leapt to his feet in an instant. They had arrived at the bottom of the lighthouse, and in the middle of the room was a big pile of steering wheels! Yet, there were also two D1000's sitting on high ledges with smaller ledges leading up to them. The machines each generated a pillar of electricity beneath them. One of these electrical fields blocked nothing and was a mere annoyance; the other blocked the exit.

Both machines spewed out a Chuck each and quickly followed it up with a Fodder and a Ham-Mer. And the six robots acquired their targets immediately.

'Oh boy…' Sandy murmured.

'Sandy!' SpongeBob said, trying to take charge for once. 'I'll take this machine, and you take the other one. Patrick, you deal with the robots.'

Patrick held up his arm in a salute. 'Aye aye, Captain!'

SpongeBob ran over to his side of the room - 'WOAH!' - and ducked underneath a meaty hammer being swung his way like a bat. He kicked a persistent Fodder in the face as he climbed up onto the first platform, only for the Fodder to get right back up.

'I got this, SpongeBob!' Patrick said.

With one little slam of his belly, Patrick reduced the Fodder to… well, cannon fodder. SpongeBob pulled himself up onto the highest platform, stretching his arms to their fullest to hoist himself up. At first, he was proud of himself for making it up. Until he looked over at Sandy, to see that she had avoided the platforming completely and simply lassoed the machine from below. Since Patrick was dealing with the troublesome robots, she was in no danger. With one pull of her rope, the machine exploded.

'Oh…'

SpongeBob's shoulders slumped, but he tried to put it aside and chopped the machine nonetheless. He leapt down onto the lower platform as quickly as he could, shielding his face from the metal shards that rained down upon him. Right on time, Patrick picked up the two Ham-Mers - at once - and tossed them both at the remaining Chuck. As he did, he unleashed a war cry of sorts that boomed throughout the entire lighthouse interior.

'I AM UNDIE-BEAT-ABLE!' He shouted as loudly as he could.

'I'm sure ya are.' Sandy remarked.

'We did it, guys!' SpongeBob said, hopping back down to the floor. 'We can get all these steering wheels back.'

'Just be careful, boys. On tha other side of that door, we'll have a whole heap-a robots ta deal with!'

Now that the electrical fields around the doors had been eliminated, the door to the outside was now unguarded. Sandy reached for the door as Patrick and SpongeBob stood right behind her, all three ready to bring down those troublesome robots just as easily as they had before. But, right as Sandy's hand touched the handle-

'WHAT IN TARNATION?!'

'WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE SOUND?!'

'The robots must be fighting back!'

There was a sound on the other side of the door that was so loud and horrid that all three heroes had to cover up their ears (if SpongeBob and Patrick even have ears). It was unbearable! It was torturous! It was… strangely familiar.

'Wait a minute…' SpongeBob said. 'I know that sound!'

Our heroes could hear the robots crumbling to pieces on the other side of the door, and then the sound ended as quickly as it began. Before they could even ask what just happened, they could hear the door unlocking from the outside. They certainly weren't expecting to see Squidward on the other side of the door, smirking at them like he just one-upped Squilliam and twirling a key around on his 'finger'. He was surrounded by a massive pile of robot parts.

'Looks like ya needed help.' He said. 'Luckily for you, I came to the rescue.'

'Thanks, Squidward!' Patrick said.

'Well, actually, I think we were handling it just fine.' SpongeBob said. 'But thanks for the help anyway.'

Sandy looked him up and down with narrowed eyes. 'Now wait a gosh darn minute here. How in tarnation did you destroy all them robots? Last time we saw ya, you were in tha Sea Needle. And I know I taught ya some karate, but there's no way it's good enough ta do that.'

The octopus brandished his instrument. 'I don't need any of that brutish karate. All I need is lovely little Clarrie over here. If I can play her loudly enough, the robots kneel over and stop functioning in seconds! And I can deal with so many of them at a time. Isn't that neat?'

Patrick was already halfway through eating one of the Ham-Mer's hammers, indulging in the delightfully metallic flavour it had.

'Wow, Squidward!' SpongeBob said. 'You're right! Thank Neptune we have you on the team!'

His smile faded quickly. Now even Squidward had proven to be a valuable member to the team? It seemed like all of the team mates had something to bring to the table… except for the guy who had caused all this in the first place.

Maybe… He thought, It would be for the best if I left it up to them.

'Hey, shouldn't we be returning all those weird wheel things?' Patrick asked.

'I can't believe I'm sayin' this,' Sandy said. 'But Patrick is right. Let's git these here wheels back to tha buses so everyone can get out of this city!'

'See you later! … Hopefully!'

Our quartet stood on the edge of town and waved the buses off as they drove into the distance, absolutely loaded with fish. After all, Bikini Bottom had a population of… 538? Or was it 50,000? Either way, a lot of fish to load onto the buses. Other than our heroes, there were only two people remaining in the wreck of a city. And one of those two was on her way out already.

'SEE YA LATER, SUCKERS!' Nancy yelled, as she rode out of town on a motorcycle; how on earth she was able to use it is one of life's greatest mysteries.

The other person, Mrs Puff, drove up to our heroes in her own boatmobile. Clearly, she had some plans of her own when it came to her evacuation.

'SpongeBob, I'm impressed!' She said, for the first time in her life. 'How did you get them back?'

'Well, we climbed the rooftops,' SpongeBob said. 'And then Squidward went flying. And then-'

'Okay, okay.' The teacher said with a sigh. 'Sorry I asked. Well, at least you got the wheels back. This is going to be the only time in my life when I ever say this, but… I'm kind of proud of you, SpongeBob.'

She regretted those very words when the sea sponge grinned the widest he had in days. It was kinda adorable but mostly creepy as halibut.

'REALLY?' He said, slight squeals escaping his lips. 'Oh, I can make you even prouder by helping you guys evacuate! I think there's still a couple more buses over there.'

'Uh, SpongeBob,' Sandy said. 'Ya don't have your licence.'

SpongeBob smirked, and pulled out a card. 'Oh yeah? Then what's this?'

Patrick peered closely at the card. 'Uh, SpongeBob?'

'Yeah?'

'That's a library card.'

SpongeBob looked at the card again, and immediately the corners of his body drooped downwards. 'Oh.'

Mrs Puff could only sigh, wave them goodbye, and drive off away from the city; in a totally different direction to the last few buses, I may add.

'We did it!' SpongeBob said. 'We evacuated the whole town! I think. Now what should we do?'

'Isn't that enough?' Squidward asked. 'The entirety of Downtown is empty! What else is there left to do?'

'I know!' Patrick declared. 'We could go down to Goo Lagoon!'

Sandy and Squidward were about to tell him off for focusing on fun times and recreational sports at a time like this, but SpongeBob cut them off.

'That's a great idea, Patrick!' He said. 'There could be hundreds of troublesome robots stepping down on the beach. Or rolling, I suppose. We have to stop them!'

'Well, that ain't a bad idea.' Sandy said. 'Come on!'

So, they all rushed off to Goo Lagoon to deal with whatever chaos was happening over there. And they weren't the only ones either. For someone saw all the chaos going on from his lovely (if fragile) hometown, and he was determined to help out his friend.

None of them noticed a pair of glowing green eyes watching them from inside a destroyed building.

'And that one looks like a mighty laser capable of making all of my enemies bow before me!'

Plankton passed the time by staring up at the clouds, trying to come up with the most violent interpretation he could. Waiting just outside the Chum Bucket was the most boring thing he could possibly imagine. Perhaps he could try stealing the formula during the insanity, but the Krusty Krab was a little… full at that moment.

'YA CAN'T RUN FROM ME, YA BUCKETS O' BOLTS!' Mr Krabs shouted from inside the restaurant. 'AND GIT YOUR BIG METAL CLAWS OFF ME MONEY!'

The doors and chimney were practically streaming with robot parts. In other words, it certainly wasn't worth going inside there.

'YIP YIP YIP!'

Plankton's heart rose when he heard his loyal pet finally returning.

'SPOT!' He cried. 'You're back! Did you find Karen?'

The response was nothing but a saddened whimper.

'You couldn't find her?!' Plankton yelled. 'Oh no… I hope those nasty robots haven't got her! … I also hope that I'll be able to GET INTO MY OWN HOME ANY TIME SOON!'

Author Notes - I wanted to make sure that Squidward isn't a complete load in this story, so I took a page out of the 'Rehydrated Multiplayer Mode' book and gave him a ranged attack! A short-ranged attack, cos it hits multiple targets and needs some sort of restriction to stop it from being broken, but a ranged attack nonetheless! At least something good came out of that terrible multiplayer mode...