Author's Note

Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!

PS I'm not JK Rowling, so I don't own anything :(

Ch 5: Letters

Four days later saw Harry, Ginny, Ron and Lily playing Quidditch in the orchard. Boys versus girls. In no time at all, Lily had developed a sort of friendship with her parents, and she actually had fun hanging out with them. They'd fallen into a rhythm of easy laughter and bantering, though Harry was still rather solemn much of the time. Likely mourning Sirius's passing.

They were vastly different from the people she'd known growing up - what she could still remember at least. Her memories had continued fading, until all that remained were vague impressions and the thirty or so scrolls of parchment she'd managed to fill. It was better than nothing she supposed.

But since her parents weren't really capable of acting as parents - particularly with Ginny actually a few months younger than her, Gran and Grandpa had taken to parenting her. Ordering her about, and treating her like a ninth child, if you included Harry in the count. And they certainly seemed to.

Harry and Ginny were taking their time returning to the Burrow, and Ron had stopped to visit Hermione in the back garden, so Lily ended up alone when the sight of a now familiar eagle owl soared into view, ducking inside the open window without waiting for an invitation.

Lily had been beginning to wonder if Draco ever planned on responding. She'd worried that her letter had irritated him so much that he'd decided to write her off altogether. To say she was pleased that it hadn't, would be an enormous understatement.

Eagerly, she snatched the letter and scanned its contents.

Lily,

Don't pretend to understand my position. I doubt you've ever been forced to fear for the life of someone you love or had the weight of that responsibility resting solely on your shoulders. It's a burden you could never hope to understand. One wrong move, and I'll have to live with the consequences the rest of my life. It'd be enough to make even your brazen self hesitate before approaching your enemy for help.

Draco

PS I neither want, nor need your sympathy regarding my father. His failure is the reason I'm in this mess in the first place.

Lily reread the note three times. Ultimately, she decided not to take offense to his terse, caustic letter. Stress was probably making him testy, and she wondered if he had anyone else to confide in. Probably not. From what she'd gathered in the last few days from the others, all of Draco's friends' families were in league with Voldemort. He couldn't trust them with his doubts. They'd be looking for any advantage they could find to win favor with their despicable master.

No one deserved to be so alone. And honestly, Draco fascinated her. She'd dreamed about him twice since their meeting. He was mysterious and intriguing. Tortured. A wounded animal in need of saving, and all of those qualities drew her in.

Draco,

Fair enough. Isn't there anyone in your life you can at least get help from? A friend? A mentor? Do you have a deadline? And please keep in mind that Harry has a target on his back, so I actually do know a thing or two about your predicament!

Lily

PS What's your owl's name? I feel bad not being able to properly greet her.

Hopefully, he'd take the hint and keep writing to her.

Another two days passed before she received a response from Draco.

Lily,

He assigned me the task. I do not think he'd consider me holding up my end of the bargain if someone else assisted me. There's no deadline precisely, but I can hardly think of anything else. And his patient will only extend for so long. All the worrying is going to make me prematurely bald.

Draco

PS Her name is Thea. After the Titaness of sight and brightness. I swear I'd never seen an owl with eyes so bright as hers when I first got her.

"Thea?" Lily said, glancing up at the owl.

A quick swivel of her head, and Lily saw the brilliant orange of the eagle owl's eyes, bright as an orange peel. They were certainly luminous, shining with an eerie, almost magical, glow. Particularly in contrast with her pale grey face, and brown and tan speckled body.

"Is Draco good to you? Even if he does keep sending you back here," Lily murmured, trying to coax the owl onto her hand. She'd nicked a few of Hedwig's owl treats, and she offered one now.

Laughter burst free as Thea's head dive-bombed her hand, the treat vanishing in a blink. Then the owl proceeded to straighten as though she'd not just behaved so undignified.

Lily reread the letter, laughing again as she saw the balding comment. Her memory of the night before she'd traveled back when he'd come to dinner was one of her clearest. Perhaps because she'd thought of it more recently. Or maybe because she'd discussed it during this time.

Whatever the reason, she could clearly picture an older version of Draco in her mind. He was striking, even if he was old as her father. And he was definitely in full possession of his hair, worn just long enough to brush the tops of his shoulders.

Thea's wing brushed gently over the fingers clasping the letter. Apparently, all she'd needed was a little hospitality to warm up to Lily. She stroked the owl's soft feathered horns, silently letting her know she appreciated the kindness.

Quickly, she jotted off a response, not wanting any of her family to stumble upon her and begin asking questions. Because as far as they knew, she knew no one else during this time, and therefore, had no one to be writing to.

Draco,

He's afraid of Dumbledore. I bet he doesn't actually care who does it, so long as the one person he fears is eliminated. So much for being all powerful… Plus, this way you serve as an example to keep others in line. Tough luck that.

You have nothing to worry about regarding your hair. It will always look perfect. Your skills on a broom are a different story. You can't afford to let them get anymore rusty. Besides, a break to clear your head might do wonders for you.

Lily

The next morning Thea was waiting for her when she woke up. The soft cooing hoots stirring her. Ginny had already gone down to breakfast, so Thea must have waited until the coast was clear to reveal herself.

Lily,

I'm not sure which to focus on, your flattery or your insults. Not that I should have expected more from a Potter, or a Weasley. And unfortunately, you are both. I'm shuddering at the thought - in case you wondered.

Regarding the rest of what you wrote, that may be the worst part. My friends see this as some sort of honor. They don't understand the reality of what I'm being asked to do. Or how I have to risk my life taking on someone I know I'm no match for. And yes, that was painful to admit. He may be completely insane, but there's a reason his skills are so renowned. His duals with Grindelwald and the Dark Lord are well documented, and he's never been beaten.

Draco

Lily blinked. Draco had opened up to her. Much more than she'd expected. Too bad she didn't have any new advice or words of comfort for him.

Draco,

No offense, but your friends are idiots. Foolish little kids that don't understand the severity of consequences. I don't think any of you have even considered what it would mean for you to succeed. You'd have become a murderer. Taking a life is nothing to aspire to or joke about. I have no doubt that the act would haunt you for the remainder of your life. I hope you think about that as you're weighing your options.

In terms of your other taunts, don't read too much into it. I was simply stating a fact you are too well aware of. And as for flying, maybe if you practiced more, you'd gain some perspective or at least have a better shot of winning a game this year. Not that I truly believe you're a match for Gryffindor.

Lily

Breakfast on the thirteenth was a lively affair. Gran had made Gin's favorite, blueberry pancakes, in honors of her only daughter's birthday. It struck Lily as immeasurably funny that she was rapidly approaching her sixteenth birthday, but on this day, her mum was only turning fifteen. Lily was older than her mum.

"Happy birthday, Gin," Harry said shyly, handing over a wrapped gift to a startled Ginny.

"Thanks," she said, tearing her eyes from his to stare at the rectangular package only just bigger than her hands. Ginny's face flushed, red extending down to disappear beneath the edge of her top, and she shifted, tucking the box under the table to rest on her lap rather than open it in front of her family.

An owl arrived, heading straight to Ginny, and Lily couldn't help but be disappointed that it hadn't come for her. Letters from Draco were all she really had to look forward to, and they kept her on her toes with his prickly temper.

"That from Dean?" Ron asked moodily, scowling darkly at the scroll as though trying to make it burst into flames with the power of his mind.

"Not that it's any of your business, but it's from Luna," Ginny snapped, piercing him with a look. Then she ducked behind her letter before quietly adding, "I ended things with Dean."

"You did?" Harry gasped, blinking owlishly at her from across the table. A smile quirked the edges of his lips up. It was the happiest Lily had seen him look since she arrived.

Ron looked nowhere near as thrilled by this development. His mouth had dropped open and his face had turned a rather alarming shade of puce.

"There really wasn't much point continuing things," Ginny said, peaking at Harry over the top of the page. "This with him wouldn't have lasted."

"Don't be getting any ideas, Harry," Ron said hotly. He ignored the death glare Ginny fired at him, focusing on Harry's hurt expression instead, explaining, "You-Know-Who wants you dead. You can't be dragging my sister into that."

"It's not up to you, Ronald," Hermione interjected, defending the pair. "You know Harry would never deliberately put Ginny in danger."

Harry's hurt look had morphed into one of fear at having things stated so plainly. Because Ron wasn't wrong.

"Look, mate, when this is all over - better you than Dean or someone else. I mean, obviously," Ron said, trying to lighten the blow his words had dealt. But from the look of Harry, it was far too late for that. Ron, seeing it, gestured at Lily, and uncomfortably added, "I mean she has to come from somewhere. But after last spring, I don't want to see my sister get hurt again."

Ginny, finally fed up with her brother discussing her as though she weren't sitting right there, or as if she couldn't decide for herself, hissed, "Maybe you should worry a bit more about your own love life, and stay out of mine. Oh, wait, you don't have one!"

With that, Gin stormed out of the kitchen, leaving a stunned Ron behind. Honestly! What had he expected her reaction to be? Lily would have said the same thing if one of her brothers had butt into her love life - not that she'd had one, but still!

"Go after her, Harry," Hermione advised.

"Yeah?" he asked, uncertain.

"Yes!" Hermione said, exasperated.

When Ron started in on Hermione, Lily excused herself and headed out to the pond, needing an escape from her family's drama. Thea found her dozing on the bank a few hours later.

Lily,

I took your suggestion - about flying. I'd forgotten how racing across the sky had the ability to make all of your troubles fall away, like looking at the buildings on the ground, distant and small. Insignificant. Do you fly? Or play Quidditch?

You know my darkest secret, yet I know next to nothing about you. Expect that I'm set to deal a blow to your father, and for some reason, you're still talking to me.

Draco

"Go on, Thea. Before you're recognized," Lily instructed quietly, the sound of feet tromping closer and grass rustling could be heard in the distance. Hastily, Lily stuffed the letter in her pocket and laid back, pretending to still be dozing.

Ginny appeared, took one look at her, and announced, "I know you're not really asleep."

"What gave me away?" Lily asked, opening up one eye, and immediately squinting at the harsh light rimming her mum. It set her hair aflame, and Lily had to shield her eyes from the brilliant crimson glow.

"I'm much better at lying and faking than you. You must take after Harry. He's always honest to a fault, and prevarication isn't in his wheelhouse," Ginny stated, obviously having given the subject a good bit of self-reflection and critical assessment.

"What did Harry give you?" Lily asked, changing the subject. She'd taken to calling each of her parents by their given names after witnessing their discomfort at her use of mum and dad one too many times.

"New Quidditch gloves. They have all these charms to keep them warm and dry, and they have little flowers embroidered in gold thread about the edge and my name. They're very pretty, and they actually fit. I've been using Angelina's old ones, but they're too big," she gushed, making it clear how meaningful she found the gift to be.

"Did Hermione help him with ideas?" Lily asked, surprised he'd come up with it himself given the timid interactions and slowly budding friendship she'd witnessed this summer so far.

"She swears she didn't," Ginny said, satisfaction evident.

"It's a pretty thoughtful gift," Lily acknowledged, smiling as Ginny attempted to stay casual about the whole thing, shrugging instead of beaming at the reminder.

"Practical too, and…"

"And proof he noticed you before I came along," Lily finished, recognizing all the possible implications of that as well.

They'd not worn proper Quidditch gear during their games this summer, so he must have come up with the idea from what he remembered from the year before. Lily was happy for Ginny. Envious too. How nice would it be to have a bloke fancy her so much he actually paid attention?

Lily had been forced to wait until the next morning to reply to Draco's letter since she had to wait for a time she could sneak into Harry and Ron's room to borrow Hedwig. Not that the owl was particularly keen to help.

"Take this to Draco Malfoy," she requested, tying her letter to Hedwig's leg.

The owl turned disapproving eyes on her, and bent to peck her hand sharply.

"Ow! Hey," she chastised, rubbing the abused spot and watching as a drop of blood well up from the fresh wound. "Please, Hedwig," she begged, wiping the blood off and adding, "it'll just be this one time."

Lily watched, thinking of the letter - her longest yet - as Hedwig soared out with her letter.

Draco,

Yes, I fly. Love it even. I would play for Gryffindor - Chaser, but there are too many others that are even better than myself. You could say Quidditch is in their blood. I'd planned to try again this year now that several people graduated and there are new openings, but apparently that wasn't meant to be.

Potions is my favorite subject. I've always excelled at it, though I'll admit I had an unfair advantage in the form of a renowned tutor a few years back. I've always been top of my class, but I have a cousin who is even more intelligent, so she is usually the only one recognized for academic accomplishments.

Someday I plan to become a Healer. I want to help people. That's something I've never told anyone else, not even my parents, so now you have a secret of mine as well. I know it's not in the same league, but I'm a bit more limited in what I can share - particularly by owl, where it runs the risk of being intercepted.

Your Friend,

Lily

A few days later Remus and Tonks surprised everyone with a visit. Lily spent much of the evening eavesdropping on Harry's conversation with Remus over his suspicions of Draco. Which of course morphed into his concerns over the fact that Draco knew about Lily.

"There have been no attacks or news regarding her. If Draco was going to use her as leverage or reveal her existence, he probably already would have," Remus soothed. Harry didn't look the least bit mollified. Remus sighed and wiped a hand tiredly over his face. "But I promise I will keep an eye out for her, Harry," Remus vowed, clasping Harry reassuringly on the shoulder to offer whatever peace of mind he could.

"Thanks," Harry sighed, obviously relieved to hear that.

"Do you mind having an old wolf around tutoring you this year?" Remus asked, looking to her where she'd been pretending to read.

"Of course not! I've heard what a great teacher you are," Lily said, deciding not to bother feigning ignorance. Plus, the extra company would be wonderful.

"I might come round and help occasionally too," Tonks said, tipping on her way to sit on the couch beside Lily. She landed in a heap, righting herself before adding, "Might take a few field trips for special occasions too just to get you out of the house a bit."

"Truly?" Lily asked, excited by the prospect.

"No one likes feeling trapped," Remus said, sharing a sad look with Harry.

"You sure it's safe?" Harry asked, caution and concern warring on his face, twin guards standing sentry over his daughter.

"With us two, Bill and the twins probably too," Tonks said, proving that she'd given the matter some thought already, "we'll keep her safe, Harry. Promise."

"Can we go to Hogsmeade on my birthday?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Er, when is your birthday?" Harry said, seeming to just realize he didn't know.

"Halloween. October thirty-first," Lily admitted, knowing her audience would understand the significance immediately.

"The anniversary -" Remus breathed, looking at Harry mournfully.

"Of my grandparent's deaths. Yeah. That's actually sort of how I got my name," Lily explained, watching her dad carefully, worried the topic would hurt or upset Harry.

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, coming into the room and perching on the arm of the sofa nearest Lily.

"Dad named my brothers, so Mum insisted that she get to name me. Then when I was born on that day, with my darker hair, Mum took it as a sign. The next day, Dad filled the house with a hundred bouquets of lilies to thank her," Lily said, sharing a memory she knew she'd heard referenced a dozen or more times growing up, but that she only had now because it was something she'd written down and later read about.

"I never realized you had your father's flair for romantic gestures, Harry," Remus said lightly.

"Well, er…"

Harry and Ginny stared at each other. And Remus shot a wink Lily's way while they did. Together they watched as Harry and Ginny made excuses about needing air so they could go for a walk in the garden together.

"I can barely remember my childhood," Lily told Remus once only he and Tonks remained in the room with her.

"You mean when you were younger?" Remus inquired, brow crinkled in confusion at her announcement.

"I mean everything before I came here," Lily admitted, letting him see how scared she truly was about her vanished memories.

"When did it start?" Remus asked, suddenly alert.

"Some things became murky that first day, but when I woke up my second day here, nearly everything had faded, and by my third day, it was all gone. I wrote down as much as I could, and when I read what I wrote, I can almost recall it, but it's difficult and painful."

"I've never heard of anything like that happening before," Remus murmured, glancing at Tonks. She wore a matching puzzled expression, and shook her head in denial as well.

"I was afraid to tell anyone. Afraid that it might alter more than I accidentally did that first day, but I'm a little scared," Lily whispered, embarrassed and unsure of herself.

"I'll speak to Albus about it, and do some research," Remus promised, reaching to squeeze her hand reassuringly. "We'll find answers, don't worry."

"Thanks," Lily said thickly, grateful to have his support.

The next letter contained only a question, and without being able to see him or hear the tone in his voice, she had no idea how to interpret it.

Lily,

We're friends now?

Draco

She wondered if he was serious. Of course that's what they'd become. Hadn't they? Didn't he look forward to hearing from her as much as she did him? Wasn't he turning to her for help because he trusted her, and knew she'd not judge him?

Or had he meant something else entirely with his question? She didn't dare go there, afraid she wouldn't like the answer.

With a sigh and a more than slight hesitation, she settled on a vague response, putting the Quaffle back in the Chasers' hands of his team.

Draco,

What else would you call us?

Lily

Molly had just ordered the start of packing for the return trip to Hogwarts. Dirty clothes were gathered from their various bedrooms and handed off before school supplies were collected. It was amazing how many items had migrated throughout the house and now needed collecting. Lily had thought it was a little overkill to be starting so soon, seeing as they still had three days of break remaining, but once they got started, it became obvious fairly quickly.

Draco hadn't responded to her last letter. Lily could hazard a guess as to why. He was regretting opening up to her so much considering who she was. He'd probably be embarrassed should any of his "friends" find out he was willingly associating with a Potter/Weasley.

Not that they would. Her very existence was a secret. But it was the idea of it. Lily didn't like thinking that Draco was so easily influenced by the perceptions and expectations of his friends, but she didn't know what else to think in the absence of a reply after she'd pointed out the friendship they'd developed.

She wished she could just talk to him. Sort it out. See if she could figure out where his head was at. Because he was all she thought about anymore.

When Thea arrived with a letter a few hours later, Lily nearly snatched it from her leg in her eagerness to see what Draco had to say.

Lily,

I want to see you again before term starts. Will you meet me in Diagon Alley tomorrow night?

Draco

Lily blinked, her lips parting in stunned amazement at the request - one that echoed her own desires.