Author Notes - Oops, a bit late on this one. Look, I had Christmas, New Years, AND my birthday (31st December) to worry about. As we hit the final few chapters of this story, expect the updates to come out slower than before. After all, these final chapters are more difficult to work with. That doesn't mean I won't be completing it. Sunk cost fallacy and all that. And besides, this is the only attempt at adapting this game that I can think of. Wouldn't want to leave it unfinished, would we?

CHAPTER TEN - WHO YA GONNA CALL?

Our heroes may have escaped zee Kelp Forest, but now zey are somewhere even worse: zee Dutchman's Graveyard. Zee graveyard of ships and zeir fallen sailors. Somewhere among zis haunted mess… a fearsome spectre waits.

Just as SpongeBob said at the end of the last chapter, our group of misfit heroes did indeed wander into the ghostly graveyard lit up only by toxic sludge and a strange green moon.

'Is it too late to go back into the forest?' Squidward asked.

'Bein' honest?' Sandy said. 'I think we're better off in tha graveyard. At least all tha different locales look different.'

The gang stood on a ledge that overlooked a lake's worth of goop, but luckily there was plenty of land within reach. Even if said land was standing rather precariously above the toxic swamp. Though no ghosts were yet to be seen, their cackles could be heard on the wind.

'Pearlie…' Mr Krabs said, in a low voice. 'Where did I leave me anti-ghost armour?'

'Under your bed.' Pearl replied. 'You told me you wanted to keep it there in case the three Ghosts of Christmas ever decided to visit you.'

'Uh oh… do you at least have me weapon?'

'You mean the paddleball? The string snapped months ago.'

Plankton groaned. 'Well? Are we gonna get going or not?! I-I'm not exactly happy to go through this place either, but I hate the thought of my wife's plan succeeding even more. If this is the only way to get back to Bikini Bottom, then we have to take it!'

SpongeBob gulped for a second time, not just because of the terror ahead of him, but also because everyone else was looking at him. Waiting for the 'chosen one' to make his move. The pressure was obvious, so he took a step into the graveyard. The simple squeak of his shoe seemed to echo throughout the land, though the ghostly fiends happily ignored it. So, he kept going. Everyone followed behind him, with Sandy and Patrick right behind him and Squidward placing himself firmly in the middle of everyone.

'I don't know what you're so scared about.' Patrick said. 'These tombstones are obviously made of plastic.'

'Patrick!' SpongeBob said. 'The last thing we need is for you to be doing this again. Lord Poltergeist was mad enough.'

It didn't take long - a few more seconds at the most - before our heroes grinded to a halt. Most of them ran into each other like a derailed train, because SpongeBob stopped very abruptly.

Plankton peeped out from his hidey-sponge-hole. 'Hey! What's the hold-up?'

SpongeBob was trembling too much to answer. Right in front of him, a familiar green glow emerged out of the ground slowly but surely. Even before the whole figure revealed themselves, SpongeBob knew exactly who it was. And the rest of his posse began to tremble too, when they got a peep at what lay before them.

'WHO DARES DISTURB THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?!'

The spooky Flying Dutchman himself hovered over all of them, covering them all (even Pearl) in an eerie green shadow. His eyes burned (literally) with hatred and irritation. While everyone else stood there and shook like jelly in an earthquake, Squidward pushed himself to the front of the pack and shoved SpongeBob forward.

'Uh, it's me.' The sponge said. 'S-SpongeBob, sir.'

The anger on the Flying Dutchman's face turned to simple annoyance. 'I don't need any cookies.'

'We're not shell scouts!' Patrick said.

The ghost groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. 'Look, kids. I'm too disturbed and exhausted to scare the bejeezus out of you right now. Come back later.'

SpongeBob got a better look at his face. He had to admit, the Dutchman did seem incredibly tired, like he was in desperate need of an eternal rest.

'You look tired.' He said. 'What's the matter?'

The Flying Dutchman groaned a second time. 'It's these darn robots. They've thrown me off my own ship, they have.'

'There be robots here too?' Mr Krabs asked. 'Now what would that accomplish? Unless Karen is so bent on takin' over Bikini Bottom, that she wants the ghosts ta know about it too.'

'I have no idea what 'Karen' has to do with this,' The Dutchman continued. 'All I know is that being thrown off your own ship is like having your pants pulled down in front of casual acquaintances. It's a sad, sad thing. Now those robots have got their own pirate ship and they're blasting away at each other!'

SpongeBob frowned, and approached the spooky apparition. Because, to paraphrase Sandy, he had a big pure heart but a tiny brain.

'You poor thing.' He said. 'We've been kicked out of our homes by the robots too. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?'

'SpongeBob!' Squidward yelled. 'What are you-?

He promptly shut up when the Flying Dutchman gave him a nasty stink eye. The octopus could've sworn he already saw fire bellowing from the Dutchman's nose.

'Well, now that you mention it…' The ghost said. 'Get up to my ship and use the cannons to single-handedly defeat the robot ship. Any questions?'

Patrick raised his hand. 'Does that hat come in a size 3?'

'No.'

'What is in it for us?' Plankton demanded.

'Plankton!' SpongeBob cried.

'What? You were all thinking it! If we're going to waltz into a graveyard full of robots and ghosts and toxic goop-'

'Oh my!' SpongeBob said, putting his hand to his mouth.

'I think we deserve a little compensation.'

The Flying Dutchman put his hand to his chin and gave it some serious consideration. Of course, he could've simply swiped their souls and forced them to be his ghastly crew until the end of eternity, but his experiences with SpongeBob and Patrick didn't make that preferable.

'You know what? Alright.' He said. 'How about this? You help me get my ship back, and I'll give you a free ride back to Bikini Bottom. How does that sound?'

Our heroes chatted among themselves for a few moments, their murmurs very quickly becoming affirmative in nature. They all turned to the Dutchman with smiles.

'That's fair enough!' SpongeBob said.

'Could yer also spare a little of yer booty?' Mr Krabs asked.

The Dutchman narrowed his eyes at the greedy krab.

'Dad, you don't want to push him.' Pearl said. 'Remember the time you sold your soul to him?'

Mr Krabs sighed. 'Alright, point made. A free trip is good enough! … Just barely.'

'Then it's a deal!' The Flying Dutchman said. 'My ship is just on the other side of this ghastly graveyard. I'll even make yer job a little easier, and let my ghoulish crewmates know that they're not to get in your way. Then, you'll just have to deal with the robots.'

SpongeBob grinned. 'Well. We've dealt with all sorts of robots. I'm sure we'll be fine!'

Famous last words, as they say. For it wasn't long before they encountered trouble. SpongeBob, after agreeing to the deal, led our heroes deeper into the graveyard. The chilling breeze only got worse; oh, how he wished he kept those long pants, if only so his knees wouldn't be so cold.

'Remind me again why this was a good idea?' Squidward asked, trembling a little.

'If y'all have a better idea,' Sandy said. 'We'd love ta hear it. Seriously.'

'I prefer this to the forest.' Pearl remarked.

'WAIT!' SpongeBob suddenly shouted.

The group came to a dead (heh) stop, peeking out from behind each other to see what he was so worried about. Right there in front of them, on a stone island just a couple hops away, stood a new type of robot. Well, more like, a new type of robots. It wasn't just a single robotic entity, but instead three stacked on top of each other. They seemingly floated just a few inches away from each other, thanks to some green dragon-shaped floaties.

'That looks like fun!' Patrick said.

Plankton buried his face in his hands. 'Ugh, these things. The Tubelets. Quite possibly the most annoying out of all of them. Except for maybe the Slicks. You see-'

'I got this!' Sandy said.

The squirrel rushed forward with her lasso in hand, ignoring Plankton's warnings. When she got close, she wrapped her lasso around the one on top before the Tubelets even noticed she was there. Of course, they certainly noticed her after that. Just before Sandy pulled back her lasso, the Tubelet on the bottom began spinning around. A great stream of fire spewed out from its floaty's jaw.

'AH!'

Sandy jumped back just in time.

'As I was trying to say,' Plankton said. 'It can shoot fire. It even changes colour if there's a holiday going on! … They can also-'

Sandy cut him off again by yanking her lasso back, destroying the robot on top. Just as she was celebrating, the remaining Tubelets spun around rapidly. Next thing Sandy knew, they unleashed a small but powerful explosion that left them unharmed but sent her flying backwards.

'Sandy!' SpongeBob cried, rushing to her side.

'I'm alright.' Sandy said. 'Just wasn't expectin' that. … Wait!'

Not only were the two Tubelets unharmed after their little explosion, but it had brought the third one back like it had never even died.

'WOULD YOU JUST LET ME FINISH EXPLAINING?!' Plankton shouted. 'You have to destroy all three of them as quickly as possible. If you don't, they'll unleash that shockwave and regenerate themselves.'

'Oh, I can do that!' Pearl said. 'Watch this.'

She pulled out her cheering pom-poms from nowhere and shook them around, taking deep breaths to psych herself up. The Tubelets unleashed their endless flamethrower and spun around, keeping her away from them.

'Give me a P!' She yelled.

She jumped up and landed with an impressive split, causing the entire graveyard to shake and tremble underneath the impact.

'Look at me darlin' go!' Mr Krabs said.

'I don't think now is the time for a cheerleading routine.' Squidward said.

'Hang on.' SpongeBob said. 'She might be onto something here!'

'Give me an E!'

Pearl repeated the move, jumping to the side. The world shook so much that the restless souls in the graveyard complained and shook their fists at her. But it didn't discourage her.

'Give me an A!' *CRASH* 'Give me an R!' *CRASH* 'Give me an L!' *CRASH*

By this point, almost everyone had toppled over.

'What does that spell?' Pearl asked the robots.

The Tubelets glanced at each other and chatted in a distorted robot language. After a while, they turned back to her and shrugged.

'That spells PEEEAAAARRLL!'

With that, she leapt up into the air like she was breaching above the surface. Much higher than you'd ever expect her to. And those poor Tubelets found themselves underneath a giant whale-shaped shadow.

*CRRRAAA-AAA-AAASH*

And Pearl turned all three Tubelets into metallic pancakes underneath her mighty body. No chance to regenerate now. She stood on top of the scrap pile and waved her pom-poms in the air.

'GOOOOOO TEAM!'

The rest of our heroes righted themselves and clapped for her wonderful performance. Even Squidward gave her a small round of applause.

'That was unconventional.' Plankton said. 'But I can't say it wasn't effective.'

'Hooray!' Pearl said, putting her pom-poms away (into her pockets, I guess).

'That's me girl!' Mr Krabs said, still clapping for her. 'Makin' her father proud!'

'Look at us, guys!' SpongeBob said, turning to the rest of his team and throwing his arms into the air. 'I know Karen's plan seems daunting, but I know that if we work together, we can put a stop to her devious scheme and-'

'Enough of the speech!' Patrick said. 'We've got a ship to get back!'

'Oh, right. And it's right over there!'

Reaching the Dutchman's ship was merely a matter of navigating the haunted field of tombstones and toxic sludge. Oh, and a painfully endless series of wall-jumps that everyone would rather forget. Luckily, the robots seemed content with having the ship docked at a 'port', so it was easy for our heroes to climb on board.

It was just how SpongeBob remembered it: an old pirate ship that glowed an eerie green, with tattered sails and rotted wood everywhere. The odour of frightened souls, unending terror, and a loaded perfume department was heavy in the air. The only thing missing was, of course, the Flying Dutchman himself.

'Ewww!' Pearl whined. 'Guh-ross. It doesn't look like anyone cleans up around here.'

'Considering whose ship this is,' Squidward said. 'That's a very real possibility. It looks just as terrible as the last time I was up here. You do not know true terror until you fall through the Fly of Despair.'

'The Fly of Despair?'

'Believe me. You do not. Want. To know.'

'Enough banter!' Sandy yelled. 'We've got robots rollin' around on tha starboard!'

There were robots alright. A couple dozen of them, it seemed, upon the Dutchman's beloved wooden lady and the other ship docked nearby. Hammers and Tar-Tars and G-Loves… oh my! And Sleepy-Times, and Arfs, and… okay, I think you get the picture. Some were swinging by the crow's nest, some others were manning the wheels, and others still were rolling around on the deck and smashing some barrels.

'Is it too late to back out now?' Plankton asked, peeping out from inside SpongeBob's head.

'What are yeh so worried about, Pipsqueak?' Mr Krabs said, one eyestalk staring him down. 'Yer not even goin' ta fight them robots!'

'If SpongeBob gets himself killed, then I'm gonna die too.'

'But SpongeBob's the chosen one!' Patrick said. 'He can't die!'

'Uh, that's… close enough.' SpongeBob said. 'But I won't be able to defeat all these robots - or Karen for that matter - without you guys here to back me up. So… what do you say we kick some robotic butts?'

It only took a second for everyone (except for Plankton) to nod in unionise, whipping out their fists or other weapons of choice and standing behind their porous leader.

'ARE YA READY, KIDS?' SpongeBob hollered.

'Aye aye, Captain!' His friends responded.

'I can't hear you!'

'AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!'

'Everyone, fan out!'

And everyone charged onto the battlefield. Sandy charged right through all the robots on the Dutchman's ship and used her lasso like a helicopter to reach the other ship with ease. Squidward hung onto her tight, ready to use his clarinet to help her. Meanwhile, Mr Krabs snapped his claws at all the little guys rolling around the deck.

'Are ya robots ready ta take on ol' Armour Abs?' He said. 'I've dealt with a rowdy crew more than enough times!'

He charged at a swarm of Fodders with his claws out in front. For a moment, one succeeded in smacking him with their electrical rod, and he winced from the electricity travelling through his body. It was only for a moment, because those big meaty claws snapped the Fodder right in half before it could even react. The other Fodders tried to roll away, but they were no match for Mr Krabs's mighty claws.

'Come at me, yeh mechanical landlubbers!'

Patrick climbed up onto the quarterdeck, seeing a couple of Tar-Tars battling it out for domination over the steering wheel. Even though the ship was currently anchored. They attempted to settle it by firing boiling hot tar-tar sauce at each other, but their metallic bodies resisted the heat. So, they were just making a massive mess.

The sea-star licked up a whole mouthful of the stuff, hardly affected by the heat. 'Mmm… that's some goooood tar-tar sauce. It'd taste great with those meaty hammers!'

The Tar-Tars dropped their interpersonal battle and glared at Patrick instead. They attempted to shoot him down, but he was already smashing one of their glass containers open. The sauce splattered everywhere, mostly into Patrick's mouth. Now totally defenceless, the poor Tar-Tar threw itself off the ship and ran away.

'PATRICK!' SpongeBob yelled.

'Oh. Right!'

Patrick jumped and slammed the deck right next to one of the Tar-Tars, stunning it completely. He was able to lift it with ease, and smashed it directly into the other one.

'Hooray! I WIN!'

Once Sandy and Squidward made it to the other ship, which looked strikingly similar to Lord Poltergeist's vessel, the robots stood no chance. Sandy roped her lasso around the main mast and swung around the ship, knocking Monsoons and Chucks directly out of the sky. Many of them plummeted into the toxic goop below, never to be seen again.

'YEEE-HAWWWW!' She yelled. 'GIT ALONG, LI'L ROBOTS!'

Squidward remained on the deck, running everywhere from the bowsprit to the quarterdeck. The suction cups on his feet made climbing the rotting walls so much easier. The G-Loves and Ham-Mers on the floor were no match for the blaring clarinet. Even the Tubelets exploded too quickly for them to regenerate themselves, not that they really wanted to; exposing their friends to the horrid sound again seemed far crueller than death.

'Look out, Squidward!' Sandy cried.

A Monsoon plummeted out of the sky, thanks to her kick, and Squidward came to an abrupt stop before it could land on him. It smacked against the mast and crashed directly into a troublesome Sleepy-time, destroying them both.

'Bullseye, Sandy!' Squidward said. 'These robots will be gone in no time!'

Lord Poltergeist - so it was his ship - stuck his head through the door and groaned. 'WOULD YOU PLEASE GET-?! ... Oh wait, you're dealing with the robots. Keep going!' And then he disappeared into his houseboat once again.

SpongeBob watched all of his friends from above as he climbed the net, smacking away the dogs employed by an Arf chilling in the crow's nest. Their teamwork was unparalleled, which was probably why the unco-ordinated robots were exploding in droves. He couldn't help grinning - it seemed that Karen was so concerned with taking care of SpongeBob, that she totally forgot about the other factor that could lead to her downfall.

'S-P-O-N-G-E-B–O-B!' Pearl cheered.

The whale wasn't fighting the robots directly, but the ships rocked and trembled underneath her weight. It sent the poor robots tumbling over their own wheels and feet.

'S-Q-U-A-R-E-P-A-N-T-S! What does that spell? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!'

Now this was some real 'tee-am work'. SpongeBob could barely focus on them any longer, thanks to all the Chomp-Bots raining down on him and trying to eat up him and Plankton. How did he do this while climbing the net? Simple: he grew himself an extra pair of arms to smack the robots with.

'We can't keep batting these doggies away for forever!' Plankton said. 'You have to take out the big guy.'

'Don't worry.' SpongeBob said with a little grin. 'I've got the perfect solution.'

He took advantage of a short break between Chomp-Bots to blow a bubble shaped just like a bomb. To Plankton's shock, it had a real fuse that was already going down.

'Wait! What are ya-?'

'BOMBS AWAY!'

SpongeBob tossed the 'bomb' right into the crow's nest. The Arf at the top only had a moment to glance at it and realise its fate, before the bomb exploded into a glorious display of popping bubbles. Bits and pieces of the robot rained down from the sky, crushing even more robots underneath them.

'Hooray! Hooray!' Pearl cheered. 'SpongeBob will save the day! GOOOO SPONGEBOB!'

'Woah…' Plankton said. 'With unorthodox methods like that, I think we'll take care of Karen and her crazy plan easily! The more SpongeBob-ish our plans are, the better chances we have at winning. … I can't believe I just said that.'

'Well, if SpongeBob-ish plans are what we need,' SpongeBob said. 'There's no one more SpongeBob-ish than me!'

He continued climbing the net until he rested at the top of the crow's nest. Forming a working telescope out of bubbles, he looked all over both ships to see how his friends were fairing. It delighted him to see them dealing with those robots without a problem.

'Alright, I'll admit it.' Plankton said. 'Your tee-am work stuff seems like it's doing its job.'

'You know what I say!' SpongeBob said. 'Teamwork, we can-'

'Unless singing that song is how we defeat Karen, I want you to stop that immediately.'

'Oh, yeah. Sorry. But you get my point! With teamwork, we can easily- LOOK OUT, SQUIDWARD!'

The octopus was being approached by a Ham-Mer that he seemingly didn't notice. Without wasting a second, SpongeBob created a bubble shaped just like a torpedo and fired it at the annoying little robot.

'SpongeBob to mission control, the launch is a go.' He said.

The torpedo smashed into the Ham-Mer and reduced it to a scrap heap before Squidward even had time to turn around.

'Normally, I'd hate to say this,' Squidward said. 'But thanks, SpongeBob!'

'NOOOO problem!'

The mechanical menaces may have been mighty when up against simple foes, but SpongeBob and his team were no simple foes. With everyone dealing with the robots in their own special ways, while SpongeBob rained bubbly death from above, it was almost too easy. Before anyone knew it, the robots were gone. The final robot was a simple Fodder, one that Mr Krabs was taking care of. He pushed the little thing across the plank, caring none for the electrical shocks it kept threatening him with.

'Don't make me hafta give yeh the order again.' Mr Krabs said. 'It's time fer yeh ta work the plank!'

The Fodder simply laughed at him.

'Oh well. I warned yeh.'

All Mr Krabs had to do was give the little Fodder a kick, and it fell off the plank into the toxic sludge below. He bellowed at the 'sailor', mostly for its poor attempts at starting a munity. His own sailors and pirates had put on much better munities before.

'We did it!' Patrick cheered, spinning the steering wheel all over the place (thank Neptune the ship was anchored).

While his friends all cheered for their little victory, SpongeBob grabbed onto a rope and swung back down to the deck. Once there, he replaced the metallic robot flag with the original Jolly Roger. The tattered pirate flag waved proudly in the chilly and eerie breeze. Everyone gathered around the mast and cheered on their 'captain', and even Plankton had to give him a quick round of applause.

'Good job, team!' SpongeBob said. 'If we can deal with so many robots so easily, then I know that Karen will be no match for us!'

'Don't underestimate her, SpongeBob.' Plankton said. 'I hate to admit it, but she's a clever one. I don't think brute force alone is going to save Bikini Bottom.'

'But we ain't gettin' anywhere without it!' Sandy said.

'True, but we'll need both. Your brawn, and my brains. … And whatever the barnacles it is that SpongeBob has.'

'MANAGERIAL SKILLS!' Patrick shouted.

'Yeah, sure, let's go with that.'

It didn't take long before a certain ghastly figure began to approach them. The Flying Dutchman may have seemed like he was in desperate need for a coffee as he got closer, but he perked right up the very moment his eyes fell upon his ship. Not a single bit of mould was out of place, and he couldn't see a single bit of shiny anything. Just the way he loved it.

'I can't believe it…' He said. 'Me beautiful ship!'

'We got your ship back!' SpongeBob said. 'And we defeated those robots.'

'When we team up,' Sandy said. 'There ain't nothin' we can't do.'

The Flying Dutchman let out some strange sound of disgust. 'Alright, cool it with the sappy speeches. I was a captain. I already know the importance of teamwork and all that. Just let me have me ship back.'

He flew behind the steering wheel and gave it a good spin, the anchor returning seemingly on its own. With that, the cursed ship was already on its way.

'Time to go home!' Patrick said.

The Dutchman expressed fake surprise. 'Home?'

'Uh, yeah.' Pearl said. 'You said that you would, like, take us home after we got your ship back.'

'Hmmm… I did say that, didn't I? But I've been thinking, I might like it a lot more if you scallywags were part of me ghostly crew!'

He unleashed a delightfully frightful and evil laugh, filling in the silence left behind by our shocked heroes. The ship's 'foghorn' was loud enough to snap them all out of their stunned state. By that point, the Flying Dutchman had already summoned plenty of ghostly pirate outfits for them to don. Only Mr Krabs liked the look.

'But what about our deal?' SpongeBob asked, lifting up his new eyepatch.

The Dutchman shrugged. 'Never make a deal with a ghost. Deals don't mean anything to me.' He smiled. 'Except for that great deal I got on butter churn back in 1873. What a prize, I tell you! Nothing beats creamy hand churned butter.'

'Gah, I should've known!' Mr Krabs said. 'Last time I made a deal wit' yeh, those talkin' coins almost bankrupted me!'

'NOOOO!' Pearl cried. 'I can't be stuck on this grody ship! I was supposed to go to Stacy's birthday party next week!'

'Well,' Squidward said, already resigning himself to this situation. 'As long as you don't drop me down the Fly of Despair, I suppose it could be a lot worse.'

Sandy clenched her fists, and used her lasso to climb onto the quarterdeck with ease. The Dutchman hardly reacted to her presence.

'Wait just a minute, Butter Boy!' She said, pointing at him. 'We did all that stuff and you're backin' out like a sea weasel!'

That got the Flying Dutchman's attention. His head snapped to her so quickly, it should've come flying off. Then again, perhaps he was capable of such a feat.

'Sea weasel?' He said. 'Arrr! Them's fightin' words.'

'Well, then let's make another deal?' Sandy asked. 'Except this time, I call tha shots. If we manage ta win a fight against ya, ya gotta take us home like ya originally promised.'

The Dutchman grinned. 'Beat me in a fight? Oh, this is too easy. Alright, you've got yourself a deal!'

He parked the ship right above a massive sea of toxic goop and dropped the anchor. Somehow, the anchor wasn't eaten away by the acid, perhaps because it was a ghostly anchor. With the ship docked, he floated into the middle of the ship and grinned at our heroes.

'Alright, mortals.' He said, beckoning our heroes with his hands. 'Show me what you've got!'

'I'll defeat you, you big ugly ghost!' Patrick declared.

The sea star cracked his knuckles and rushed towards the Dutchman while unleashing some sort of war cry. He took exactly six steps before the Dutchman's eyes glowed, and another two steps before the Flying Dutchman fired laser beams from his eyes. They zapped Patrick and burnt him to a crisp almost immediately. Everyone else stepped back with shock.

'Wait, you can do that?' Patrick asked.

'I usually don't have a good opportunity to try out the eye lasers.' The Dutchman said, rather smugly. 'But I thought this was as good of a time as any!'

Sandy was already sick of him, and whipped out her lasso like always. While the Dutchman was busy laughing at Patrick, she tightened the lasso around his tail and yanked on it as hard as she could.

'YOWCH!'

It was enough to send the Dutchman flying into a spin. While he stood there, totally dizzy, Mr Krabs picked up a heavy barrel and smashed it over his head. You'd think the barrel would've just gone right through him, but ghosts in Bikini Bottom never seemed quite consistent over things like that.

'HEY!' The Flying Dutchman yelled.

He fired lasers from his eyes again, aimed them at Mr Krabs. They crossed over several times as they approached their target, leaving a lovely pattern in the deck. Thanks to surprising agility and a high-pitched yelp, Mr Krabs was able to hop out of the way in time. With a growl, the Dutchman aimed his lasers at Sandy instead. Except she was already out of the way.

'What the-?!'

'Give it up now, Dutchman!' SpongeBob said. 'You'll never defeat us when we work together!'

'Uh, just so you know,' Plankton said. 'I do not associate with this idiot.'

The Dutchman laughed. 'Is that you, Plankton? Oh, I remember you. You were the lamest ghost I've ever met.'

'HEY!'

'That yellow dingus and the pink buffoon made much better ghosts than you. … Which isn't really saying much. But still!'

Realising that mere lasers wouldn't be enough to defeat these mortal idiots, the Flying Dutchman lowered his head to the floor and spewed unsightly green fire from his nose. The flames covered the entire deck, forcing our heroes to climb up onto the nearest barrels or crates. Squidward in particular rushed up onto the crow's nest as quickly as he could.

SpongeBob trembled from on top of a barrel. 'Uh, I-I see you're not giving up now.'

The Dutchman stopped shooting fire everywhere to laugh at him. 'O' course not! Do you think I want to give you landlubbers your free trip?'

That was all he said before he covered the deck with flames again, stopping anyone from getting near him. Fortunately, underwater flames had a weakness: water! What do you mean, that doesn't make any sense? It gave Pearl a wonderful idea. Sitting on top of a crate that barely supported her weight, she did the only thing she did better than cheerleading: cry.

'WAAA-AAAA-AAAHHH!' She whaled. 'DAAAADDDYYYYY!'

'What have I done now?!' Mr Krabs yelled. 'I did what yeh asked. I really did raise yer allowance! Those extra five cents will add up, ya know.'

Her tears quickly flooded the deck even quicker than the fire had, extinguishing every last ember in a matter of seconds.

'Hey!' The Dutchman exclaimed.

Just for good measure, Pearl aimed a jet of water directly at the Dutchman's face. It struck its target and hit him hard enough to send him flying backwards through a wall. Through because he's, you know, a ghost. The moment he stuck his soaking head out from the wall, he opened his mouth to complain before SpongeBob smacked him in the face with his bubble wand.

'EE-YOW!'

'See what I mean?' SpongeBob said with a smirk. 'You're messing with my team. And I'm the one person who can stop Karen's crazy plan and put an end to this robotic apocalypse. I think you oughta quit now.'

'Yeah!' Plankton said. 'You know what? The idiot's right!'

The Flying Dutchman growled through his teeth. 'I'm not giving up yet, SpongeBoob!'

He zoomed right by SpongeBob, fast enough to knock him off his barrel. Plankton fell from his head and had to scurry back inside in a panic. The others tried to catch up with him, but the Dutchman was already soaring through the air and flying around the main mast. Once above them all, he summoned a grey line above the ship. But it wasn't an ordinary grey line: it was a zipper.

'If you're willin' ta play dirty,' The Dutchman said. 'So am I! I'll send me whole ship through the Fly of Despair if I hafta!'

'Uh, but you wouldn't have a ship anymore.' Patrick said, still a little crispy. 'That doesn't sound like a very good plan.'

'I can get me ship back! Now, watch!'

He unzipped the Fly, and it opened up to a hellish hole big enough to fit the entire ship through. And, before our poor heroes knew it, the ship was already slowly moving upwards into it.

'I hope you don't have anything planned.' The Dutchman said. 'Because you'll be trapped in the Fly of Despair forever!'

He took a deep breath to howl into the night, to celebrate his victory, but something stopped him. Not a physical force, or something silly like a conscience. No, it was a sound. Now, the Dutchman had heard - and made - some truly bone-chilling sounds in his day. But this sound was, by far, the most horrid and unbearable sound he ever had to endure.

Squidward was playing his clarinet as loudly as possible.

'AAARRRGGHH!'

Not even the Dutchman's screams of pain could overpower the awful tune. Covering up his ears failed to block out the horrid cacophony.

'That's the most horrific sound I've ever had the misfortune to hear!' He cried. 'Stop it! STOP IT, PLEASE!'

Squidward ceased playing his clarinet and smirked at the ghost. 'I had a feeling that would get ya. You never struck me as the type to appreciate the finer arts.'

'PLEASE, I beg of you, stop playing that ruckus! I-I'll do anything you want!'

The octopus laughed. 'Looks like I've got you right where I want you. I won't play any more clarinet for you, IF - and only if - you agree to zip that fly up and bring us home like you originally promised.'

'Alright, I'll do it!'

The Dutchman zipped into the sky and closed the zipper, causing it to vanish into thin air. The ship came to a stop, and all of our heroes breathed a sigh of relief. Squidward, feeling particularly full of himself, climbed back down the crow's nest and kissed his clarinet like it was his partner for life.

'We did it, Clarrie.' He said. 'Just like I knew we would.'

'You did it, Squidward!' SpongeBob said. 'You saved us from that Fly of Despair!'

'What was that like, anyway?' Patrick asked, quite a bit less crispy now.

Squidward winced. 'Traumatising.'

The Flying Dutchman gave Squidward a nervous smile, before he pushed everyone out of the way and rushed to the steering wheel again. The anchor rose back into the ship much faster than should have been physically possible, and they were already on their way out of the graveyard.

'Thanks, Dutchie!' SpongeBob said. 'You-'

'Never call me that again.' Dutchie said. 'That means you too, Non-French Narrator!'

'Well, thanks for giving us a lift.' Plankton said. 'It would've been nicer if you didn't try to torture us for all of eternity first.'

'Let's let bygones be bygones!'

Everyone agreed to deal with these less-than-stellar circumstances, and our heroes got comfortable on the deck while the Dutchman guided his ragged old ship over the eerie graveyard. Squidward made sure to stand right behind him, in case he got any more unpleasant ideas.

'Ugh, I cannot even with this ship for much longer.' Pearl lamented. 'It's soooo grody!'

The Dutchman grinned. 'Thanks fer the compliment, me darlin'.'

SpongeBob peered over the starboard of the ship. From a view like this, the landscape was actually kind of gorgeous in its own horrific way. The oozing rivers flooded the graveyard, but the way they oozed was a sight to behold. The chilling breeze felt great in his holes, and even that odour of suffering had a distinct ruggedness to it.

He could hear Plankton sighing from inside his head.

'Aw, what's wrong, Plankton?' He asked. 'Don't like the view?'

'The view is fine.' Plankton replied. 'I just can't believe that Karen double-crossed me like that! After all we've been through together!'

'Well, you haven't been the best husband in the world.'

Plankton was apparently so offended by this remark, that he hopped out of SpongeBob's head and landed on his nose. Just so he could stare him in the eyeballs.

'Don't bring my love life into this.' He said.

'Didn't you leave her to freeze during that big race or something?' SpongeBob asked.

'Okay, fine, so our marriage has been on the rocks for years. I don't think that's worth kicking me - no, wait, all of us - out of Bikini Bottom and replacing us all with robots! Don't you try telling me that she's only doing this because blah blah blah she's a tortured soul. That excuse never flew for me!'

'Uh, well… you're right. I'm sure she'd try taking over the world no matter what you did. But maybe showing her that you really do love her would work.'

Plankton sighed. 'It's going to be hard to love her after she did this to me. And besides, we've made it clear that you are the one who's gonna put an end to this scheme.'

'Yeah, well…'

SpongeBob tapped his foot against the deck for a moment.

'Well, aren't you another factor for your plans failing?' He asked.

Plankton groaned, and hopped back into his hidey hole in SpongeBob's head.

'I'm serious!' SpongeBob said. 'If Karen got rid of me because I'm always there when your plans fail, then maybe you could do something to stop her too.'

'What do you want me to do?' Plankton asked. 'Sing that little serenade for her again?'

'It could work! It might be a good distraction, at least.'

'A distraction. Of course.'

None of our heroes, or the ghost for that matter, seemed to be aware of a Chuck following behind them. It held no weapons in its hand, but instead a camera.

'ARGH! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!'

Karen was slowly starting to understand why her husband's plans kept failing. Plankton's stupidity was only one (but rather large) piece of the puzzle. SpongeBob's knack for constantly saving the day just by existing kept surprising her, and not in a good way.

'How does he do that?!' She shouted. 'I thought for sure that the Flying Dutchman would be able to take care of him and his annoying friends! But nooooo. All they need is teamwork. They can do anything with teamwork.' She groaned. 'Great. Now that song is stuck in my processor again.'

'I told you that you should have killed him.' Planktron said, hovering around her.

Karen just chuckled at him and turned to face her secret weapon. It was almost finished, and the glorious golden behemoth towered over all of them. Over the Krusty Krab, even. In fact, it was almost as big as the Chum Bucket itself. How she found a way to contain it within the building's underground, I'll never know.

'Now what would the point of that be?' She said. 'Why do you constantly think I've never planned anything out?'

'Do you not wish to keep him away from the Chum Bucket?' Planktron asked.

'Yes. And no. Now that he knows my plan, I've got to keep him away until our secret weapon is complete. Otherwise, I know that he'll put a stop to it. Even if it's just because he spilled a drink on the one piece of equipment that really shouldn't have something spilled onto it. But, if I'm able to stall him out a little bit longer, then he can come back if he wants.'

The secret weapon wasn't quite finished yet, and she was all too aware of that. So, she opened up a special program on her hard drive - one labelled 'DreamWorld dot exe' - and activated it.

'And I have the perfect way to stall him out. In fact, he may never want to leave.'

If Planktron could smile, he would have. 'My favourite invention.'

Author Notes - The original boss fight against the Flying Dutchman was really lame and slow, and I wanted to revamp the whole thing. I was gonna take some cues from the Dutchman fight in Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, but then I found out that the fight in question is actually kinda... lame. Never played that one, nor do I particularly plan to.

Regardless, we only have three chapters to go! I hope you're ready, because I know I'm not. Which is bad, seeing as I'm the one writing this.