Wounds may heal quickly, or they may be once again torn open by the one who made them. If the former, forgiveness is given readily, for there is no reason for anger. If the latter, the anger will run deep. It will fester and boil until there is nothing left but itself. To unite, a wolfpack must let go its prejudices and its old hurts in order to remain strong.
Revealing
Hermione was extra grateful for Ylva's presence once the Holidays were over. Neither Harry or Ron were speaking to her, though both for different reasons. She did not need to talk to Ylva to be comforted by the other girl; she could feel her in the castle and it calmed her. As winter turned into spring, Hermione's overload of classes was all she had time to deal with. She studied, slept, and snuck her way out of the castle with Ylva once a month.
Fenrir scolded her gently for overworking herself; she knew he was worried about her, as he often was. She knew he was right to be, but she could not bring herself to stop. She was learning so much; everywhere but Trelawney's Divination class, of course. Blowing up in that class close to finals week was not as unexpected as it should have been.
The full moon was close, and Hermione had been irritable with the rainy weather forcing her to study inside as the moon approached. She stormed out of Trelawny's tower, crying as she went. Fenrir was right, it was too much. She wasn't going to quit anything else, not until after the year was over. As she was walking, her nose stuffed and face wet, she crashed straight into a solid frame. Immediately spouting apologies, she looked up to see a concerned Remus Lupin. Not wanting to deal with him and his...whatever it was he was trying to do, she growled and moved past him. He was relentless in his persistence to help both of the young werewolves, but Hermione saw the weariness in his body that she knew she had never felt. She did not need Fenrir's warning to know that whatever Lupin was doing was not good for him.
With Divination out of the way, Hermione's schedule opened up just enough to make her feel confident for her exams. She had no problem with her tests, until she reached Defense Against the Dark Arts; she had never been so afraid before, and Lupin did not even have anything to do with it.
Hermione jumped over the stunned Hinkypunk and approached what appeared to be the final stage of the exam. At first, there was nothing but a shapeless fog writhing in the classroom, but as Hermione approached, it took a familiar form. She watched with confusion as the boggart shaped itself into the towering form of Fenrir. She was not afraid of Fenrir.
It took a step toward her with an angry snarl, looming over her by over a foot. She tried to concentrate on the scents as it approached her. It wasn't him. It was wrong."
"You aren't good enough pup," he snarled sharply, "Nothing you do matters to me. And now I'm saddled with you, forever. I should've killed you when I had the chance."
Hermione froze, tears leaking from her eyes. It wasn't him; it wasn't. The air was filled with the scent of bitter anger.
"You aren't worth my time, my help, or my pack" the thing shaped like Fenrir spat.
Before Hermione could react, it morphed into Fenrir's wolf and lunged at her. The fear from when she had first been bitten came rushing back to her and all she could do was cringe, her wand long forgotten. The bite she expected never came, but when she looked up, she would have rather had the bite. Lupin was staring angrily at the chest he had locked the boggart back up in. The angry scent was coming from him, not the boggart. She wiped the tears from her face, angry at herself for letting the boggart get to her, but she could not seem to stop crying.
"Miss Granger, you may go now," Lupin said, without turning toward her.
She picked up her things and ran out, unable to stop her tears and the fears that the boggart had brought to the surface. She could feel Fenrir's concern lightly through the pack bond, and she held onto it. The boggart was wrong, and Lupin was wrong; she was safe where she was, how she was.
Remus charged into Dumbledore's office without bothering to knock, startling the old wizard and his only companion. The latter standing abruptly in a billow of black robes. Snape turned his nose up and removed his hand from his robes, settling himself back down again as Lupin spoke.
"Albus, there is nothing I can do for that girl. Either of them," he said angrily.
He tried to calm himself as the old wizard cocked his head to the side, "What do you mean, Remus?"
"I wasn't certain before, but I know now. She's one of Fenrir's; she won't listen to a word I say. She's volatile and dangerous. There is nothing I can do."
Snape chortled a laugh at him, further fueling his frustration, "She's done nothing but treat you like a petulant little brother, Remus, and now you've run off to tattle."
"Are you suddenly on her side?" Remus snapped, knowing that Snape never liked werewolves.
"She, for one, hasn't tried to kill me," he replied with a sneer.
"Severus, that was uncalled for." Albus turned to Remus, "Do you believe she is in danger?"
He sighed and shook his head. "I am certain she is in no danger. I cannot say the same for the other students."
"I understand your dislike of Fenrir, Remus, but I will not let your grudge get in the way of her education."
Remus narrowed his eyes with a growl; this was about more than the girl's education. He was more inclined to think it had something to do with his plans for Harry. There was no real reason for the suspicion, other than Remus knew the old mad meddled. He was a mastermind, and had helped them win the first war, but often at the expense of others' feelings and, sometimes, lives. If he was planning, or even had the inkling of planning something that had to do with Harry, it could go poorly for the teen. It would be better to keep his friends around, Hermione included, as it seemed was necessary.
Hermione's eyes widened as the strange parade left the whomping willow. She could feel the moon rising rapidly over the hills. Lupin was going to change; she was going to change. It all happened so quickly. In a flash, Pettigrew was gone; and Lupin was groaning. Hermione managed to keep her moans inside, but she knew they wouldn't get back to the castle in time. In desperation, she took the time-turner from her neck and handed it to Harry.
She made him meet her eyes in the chaos and said, "Don't lose this, Harry."
He nodded, his eyes wide. He immediately looked more concerned than before.
Both their heads snapped to Lupin, who was writhing in agony on the ground, his pained sounds turning into roars. Hermione felt her bones shifting, she knew they only had minutes.
"Hermione? Are you alright?" Ron asked, his face pale.
"I'll be fine," she grunted with a growl she could no longer hide. The pain was becoming unbearable. She could feel Fenrir getting closer. She looked at her friends, who's faces held increasing looks of horror, and gave them an encouraging smile. Or she tried to, what happened instead was the tip of the moon came over the hills and she spasmed and fell to the ground with a pained yelp. She couldn't understand the words Harry and Ron were yelling at her, but she could hear their voices become increasingly frantic.
She was still shaking slightly just a few minutes later, but she stood in front of her friends as quickly as she could, getting between them and the adult werewolf. Lupin paced back and forth, drooling and snarling at her. She snarled fiercely in return, unwilling to back down, the humans behind her were important to her, and she wasn't going to let the strange wolf hurt them. He tried to stare her down, but she did not let her gaze waver, she was stronger than him, and she knew it.
Suddenly, the large werewolf jumped at her, tackling her to the ground. She yelped when his teeth raked down her leg, but she returned in-kind, surprising the other wolf. He was clearly unused to injuries, despite his scars. Unfortunately, the was larger than her, and she was not used to fighting, he grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and shook her. She yelped in pain, but it was cut short when the pressure on her neck was suddenly released.
She spun around, only to see Fenrir chase Lupin off into the trees. Taking one look at the humans and determining that they were fine now, she darted off after the Alpha. The two fought, but it did not last long. Lupin ran off once more, and Fenrir continued the chase. She could feel her legs growing tired as she tried to keep up with them, but still she ran. Fenrir let out a pained growl when Lupin's jaw snapped at his paw.
Spurned into action, Hermione lunged for Fenrir's attacker, grabbing ahold of his leg. A screeching yelp left her when Lupin grabbed her, throwing her against a tree. She tried to bounce back, but her body hurt. She struggled to her feet and tried to leap at Lupin again, but Fenrir sent her a warning growl. She did not want to just sit and watch, so she paced, and circled, and whined as the two fought. With a shake of his head, Fenrir threw Lupin down, and he lunged for Lupin's throat and held it until he stilled.
The rest of the night, Fenrir stood over Lupin, knocking him back if he tried to get up again. Hermione could not sleep that night, every growl from Fenrir shocked her out of her dozing.
The morning came too slowly; but the moon did go down and the three changed back. Lupin took longer than the other two. He glared at Fenrir, and gave him a shove; it didn't move him, but he laughed and stepped to the side.
Hermione got up and crossed her arms at her professor. She was shivering; it was a cold morning. Fenrir jogged off without a word and came back a few minutes later with their clothes. He handed Hermione hers and threw Lupin's at him with a smirk.
Lupin glared at Hermione. "He's ruined you," he growled, "He bit you too, didn't he? Just like he bit me!" He lunged once again for Hermione, but Fenrir stepped between them.
"You'd best settle down, pup," Fenrir warned.
Hermione rubbed her arms, her shivering now having nothing to do with the cold. Despite the composure she was used to from him, she could not mistake the scent of guilt that wafted off Fenrir the moment Lupin suggested he had bitten her. Since the boggart earlier that week, Hermione had been afraid it had been Fenrir. She had tried to forget, but she couldn't; everything seemed to be confirming her fears. However, as she stood in the brisk spring air staring at her Alpha, she decided that it did not matter. He had helped her, protected her, and protected her friends. The boggart was a lie.
She stepped forward, her magic crackling slightly in the building fury in the outsider who questioned her. "Maybe he did bite me. He has not ruined me; I am not a monster. I feel more me than ever."
The guilty smell from Fenrir was still there, but it was now mingled with surprise, relief, and growing pride. He smirked at Lupin and stepped back, letting Hermione move forward.
"I trust him. He's never hurt me," she turned to him and saw the flash of pain in his eyes, "on purpose; and he'll never let anything happen to me! Which is more than I can say for you."
Lupin gaped at her, and his jaw worked like he was trying to find the words to respond.
"Best move on, Remus. Your Dumbledore will want a report, I'm sure," Fenrir said with an air of restraint.
Lupin glared at him, but could not argue with the dismissal, he turned with a quiet snarl and left.
Fenrir turned to Hermione once he was out of sight, his jaw tight.
"Why did you bite me?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
Fenrir hesitated. "Would it matter, pup?"
She looked up at him, she still trusted him, but she wanted to know why. "No, I—"
"Then why ask?"
The boggart came rushing back to her and the tears came pouring down her cheeks.
Fenrir wiped away a stray tear and waited for her; he hated the sound of her crying, but he knew this was his own fault. She had to find out some day.
Finally, she managed, "Did you want me, or was I just an accident?"
He pulled her tightly into his arms, finally understanding her fears. Her scent roiled with anxiety as she stared at her own feet.
"Both, little one," he admitted. "I've never lost control like that before, and I don't think I ever will again. I tried to get away."
"But I'm not special...I don't fit in anywhere. I'm part of three worlds, but I'm never in any for long enough to call any home…" she said.
Fenrir growled in disagreement, "I know it feels like that now, but no matter what happens, you will always be at home with us. You are a wolf, pup, and I won't let you go alone. You will always have help from me, if you want it."
"I'm not a burden?"
"Of course not!" Fenrir snarled, "has Lupin been putting all these ideas in your head‽ I'm going to eat that—"
"No! No, Alpha. I— I'm just afraid. There was a boggart, and I—" she rubbed her eyes again, obviously reluctant to talk about it.
A boggart? Was her biggest fear truly his rejection? He gently smoothed her hair down. "You are not a burden, and you never have been. The pack needs you, and I do too. I do feel guilty about losing control and taking the choice to change away from you, but I don't regret it for a second." He pulled her chin up to meet her eyes and gave her a genuine smile.
She nodded, and slowly returned the smile. Relief flooded her scent in a way he hadn't smelled all night. All too soon, however, her anxiety returned.
"I'm going to have to go back in there," she said, looking toward the castle. "My friends know now."
He gave her a wry grin, "You could always bite them."
She tried to frown at him, but the corners of her mouth twitched upward.
"Remember what I said, little one. You will always have a place with us," he said seriously. He looked at her worried face and debated with himself for a moment. He rubbed his neck, at the numbers stamped into his skin from long ago. There were times he forgot they were there, he had glamored them away so long ago; but then there were moments like this that he remembered the pain, and cage after cage after cage. He wanted to protect her, but he did not want to frighten her, either. Those days were long passed; she trusted him, and would not become another Remus Lupin.
"If you need me, I will be here," he said finally.
She smiled at him and nodded.
"Dumbledore likely knows, but keep it as quiet as possible."
"I hate that we have to hide," she mumbled with a nod. "There are so many secrets, and lies and misjudgements in the world already...it's just another one to add."
Fenrir nodded, "One day, it will be better. It's already better than before."
Hermione glanced up at him with wide eyes. "When they took the alphas?"
He pulled out his wand to remove the glamor on his neck and knelt so she could see it.
She gasped. "Sirius had one of those, from Azkaban."
Fenrir recast the charm and looked her in the eyes. "Mine is from the cages they kept us in. They needed to keep track of us and apparently couldn't tell us apart," he growled. "I was not much older than you when they stamped it on, and I will not let them do the same to you."
Fenrir raised his head at the sound of faint footsteps and noticed Ylva coming out of the forest. He gave her a small smile. "Go, and don't be afraid. You have a place."
"Goodbye, Alpha," Hermione gave him a quick hug and left to join Ylva as they head back into the castle.