Vengeance Shan't Be Yours
Part 1 Kujou Sara PoV
I made my arrival by the docks on Ritou.
The watchers from the Kanjou Commission reported a strenuous battle had gone out at sea, and it concluded with a ship from Liyue disappearing inside the maws of Mob Ivory.
I need to check in with the hag and make sure if that man was aboard the Alcor during the battle, and if the Almighty Shogun fate has changed in any way.
The ways of fate weren't much to my concern before, but if they are to be the Shogun concern, then so shall they be mines.
It was as if she had foreseen everything, that I found the hag drowning on her booze by the docks, as she contemplates the Black Sea generated by the beast large at the ocean.
"A word with you, hag." I told her.
She didn't bother to stop chugging for a moment until she was satisfied, then waved her hand for me to stand by her side and look at the moonless night and the blackened, poisonous water.
"Has your Shogun learned to cook yet?"
"Insolent! I don't care if the Miko herself recommended you, I will have your head for any offense to the Almighty Shogun name!" I warned.
But the hag just cackled like usual. She held the vodka bottle under her armpit and pulled up a cigar which she lighted with a strange trinket.
"Are you here to ask if your Archon is getting off the dinner table yet, sweetie? Well what did I say about fate and the way it works?"
"I'm here to get a simple answer hag, is that man still alive?" I hoped.
For he shall be mine and mine only to kill!
"He's doing fine and still coming here in the near future. Fate may take its time to work his way, but it will always definitely come." She said.
It was the answer I was looking for myself, but on the other hand, I'm sure that's not something the Almighty Shogun would like to hear.
"Tell me hag, is there any way to change fate that you know off?"
"Why I already told you darling, if a beautiful and capable Astrologer where to look at her own future then everything would turn—"
"Nobody's interest in changing your hedonistic fate you crony old hag! The Shogun! Is there's any way to change the fate of the Shogun?!" I yelled at the hag.
She took a big puff of smoke and blew it to the moonless night.
"Of course there is, your Shogun already took her own measures to ensure it plays that way. Say, have you heard about the concept of beings and transcendental beings?" The hag said drawing her finger across the air.
"I'm listening, hag." I said.
"Well, say you have a worker walking inside a corridor, the first of three corridors he needs to cross before he gets the ladder that he's looking for. You are somebody looking from outside the windows, you are someone who can see the whole trajectory this worker is heading and know why he's heading for the third and last corridor, that is how reading fate works." The hag said as she flung her cigar on the water.
"Hey, no littering on our beaches!" I scorned her.
She simply picked up her vodka bottle to resume where she left off.
"They might try stall, they might try to escape the corridors, you might even tell them you're watching and they might try to do everything to go against your prediction. But at the end of the day, they need that ladder, and they will go all the way to that third corridor in order to get it. That's how fate works for all mortals, it is inevitable and there's nothing they can do about. Countless of men from the dirties of thieves to the mightiest of rulers have hired someone to predict their fate and gone against it in every possible way they could think of. But like it or not, they would soon come to find their actions of rebellion where accounted for and even played a role in the destiny they got."
I saw the hag had finished the bottle of vodka she was having, and she started to stick a paper inside it.
"But that's the take for mortals, gods are just built different. A transcendental being is like a windowless corridor in the grand scheme of things."
"Are you telling me a god can change fate then?" I asked and paid careful attention to what the hag would say next.
"Yes, they can even change the fate of mortals too… To use the same example, say of the three corridors, the second one doesn't have a window and you can't see what's inside. If you had predicted the worker would need to get to the third corridor before getting the ladder, you would only be able to do so because you knew everything that was inside, but a god or transcendental being is the same as if there where no windows at all, unpredictable. The worker could walk inside the second corridor and find a ladder there that you didn't know existed, and walk back the way it came whiteout needing to get to the third one like you had foreseen. Or perhaps a second worker was inside the windowless second corridor, and the first asked the second to grab the ladder for him, and then you see a completely different person entering the third corridor, unlike how you predicted." The hag finished stuffing a note inside the bottle and later tossed it in the water.
"Hey, I said no littering!" I scorned her again about throwing trash in our shores, but that wasn't what was really bothering me.
There was something inside that bottle that looked like a message. Before I could even think about it anymore I found myself drawing my bow.
"What games are you trying to play here, hag?" I asked while making sure she understood my intentions.
I aimed my bow at the bottle that was starting to drift farther into the sea.
The hag gave off a creepy smile as she said.
"Just greasing the wheels of fate, little girl. Oh but I wouldn't do that if I where you, you have not worry about anything else's, as I said before, the only ones who can do anything in this situation are your Acrhon and the beast lurking under the waters, and your friend will have to get trough both of them if he wishes meet his destiny." She had said half laughing at me.
I could feel my finger almost loosening the arrow. I could just screw with whatever this hag was thinking right now, but I felt like I shouldn't.
If the Almighty Shogun was taking her words seriously, perhaps I should at least try to do the same courtesy to this crony old hag.
"Then I have a question for you. If he has to get trough two transcendental beings, how come you can see his fate so surely?" I now aimed my bow at the hag.
She pulled out a flask from under her big hat and took a sip like she wasn't even bothering with me threatening to end her life right there.
"Because no matter what might happen inside the windowless rooms, there's always the chance nothing changes there, and the worker still comes to your final destination. Despite the example I just given you, Fate isn't something so casual as to be a mere prediction, and if nothing changes by the hands of the two gods in his way, he will arrive at the same ending in any event regardless. And that's what your Archon fears." The old Astrologer said.
I played with the idea of shooting her smug face right there, but decided to put away my bow for now.
"Then you mean to say everything might or might not play out as you predicted, but if it does it will go exactly as you had said… Then, what if I where to get a second opinion from another seer?"
"Oh honey, are you going to cheat on me with a younger lad, that's so naughty." The hag jested.
"Answer my question." But I pressed her for an answer.
"All and any readings of fate will arrive at the same conclusion, no matter who does it. Only those bright enough can predict the final result by the third corridor, and they will always arrive at the same conclusion…." She made a pause as if she was contemplating a bad joke.
I could feel the air itself had started to turn cold. As if I was in the very presence of a witch.
"And if any two Astrologers ever seem to have different views of a fate they where reading…." The hag began to grin maliciously.
She stared at the black seas where the bottle she had tossed was long gone out of sight and said.
"If they have predicted two different endings, then one of them is surely lying."
Part 2 Simp Bad PoV
Like a seasoned predator I stalked my prey from the shadows.
Her red hair and nutritiously exposed features danced across the bushes as she tried to find a place to hide.
All was in vain.
Noon was coming and I had decided she would be on the menu today. And no amount of arguing or legal suing me later was going to change that.
She had a contract, and if I caught her now she was as good as dinner on the stove.
The particulars of hunting deer where a basic of the samurai school. No amount of hiding or sudden turns would make me loose her trail.
She could run but she can't hide.
So of course she was fixated on running for deer life, the thought of fighting back to her predator never even crossed her mind.
A city deer, retarded in the ways of the wild and with reversed antlers, she stood no chance against the mighty samurai!
The red jewel on my hand gave a glint when I stepped out of the shadows.
My prey was adept enough to see it and kicked off running. I followed.
First and foremost I had taken her vision away from her the moment the hunt even started. She was as good as Deer on a Dish right now and she knew it.
We passed several hillichurls camps and even a strange purple cube as we where headed for a tall cliff with nowhere else to run or hide.
Besides us a storm blast and a water tide blitzed all over the place leaving scraps of the poor Hilichurls camps and driving the cube to pieces…
Damn, those two are really making us feel like plebs.
Not that our hunt looking inferior by comparison is going to make me enjoy it any less.
I could see the sweat dripping down my prey thighs and listen to her labored breathing. She was starting to see the way everything was going to play out.
And I could hardly wait— like something was starting to awaken in me.
The distance between us became a mere meter. I lunged and tackled her down.
"Kya!" She cried exhausted as she was pressed down to the grass.
I drew out a pair of handcuffs. Ah, how I'm loving the irony of this situation.
"Wait! I let's talk about this! I'm sure I can offer you a much better deal if you just let me negotiate!" She tried to bargain.
"No deal is worth my honor, deer. You should have kept your pretty mouth shut when you had the chance." I said, basking on the horror showing on her face.
"Stop right there you filthy criminal! Leave that poor girl alone!" Someone called me a criminal.
Wait what?
A spinning dancer swung her great sword at me and I was forced to jump away.
My prey kicked back to her two feet's whiteout so much as a glance back and jumped out the cape, before she drew out her glider.
I stood by the cliff as she turned her head and stuck her tongue at me. She's my lawyer and she didn't mind running away and leaving me behind under these circumstances.
The clock marked noon and it was game over, she won at the expense of a betrayal to the very client she's supposed to defend.
I'm sorry Meg, I have failed us. Now we'll have to eat grass for the next two weeks like the savages.
I swear I'm going to cook that deer later even if I lost the game.
I stuck my hands on my sleeves and turned to see the person who had attacked me just now.
She had short blue hair and was packing a body like nothing I've ever seen in Teyvat.
If her figure wasn't enough the girl was wearing a virgin killer that accentuated her curves even more.
I feel like the name is well earned because that could really kill a virgin for sure.
She wields a blue greatsword and sticking to her wing-cape a Cryo vision. She gave a bow and introduced herself to me.
"Captain Eula Lawrence, Spindrift Knight, Knights of Favonius Reconnoissance Company. I extend to you my greetings and declaration of arrest, sullen criminal who likes assaulting young girls in broad daylight." Virgin Killer said.
The words of VK brought me back to this morning when we got into an argument after breakfast.
"What, you think your honor is all that!? Then the duty by which us Adepti follow our contracts is definitely…" The usual start-up of all arguments was up to her usual shenanigans.
The deer couldn't have a boring morning under her watch and began attacking my honor when I wasn't entertaining her games.
"You have no respect for the ways of the Adepti." Xiao said.
And of course I started making fun of the deer tribe in return which got Xiao to join in on the argument.
I could just make fun of the Adepty funny speech just to get back at him, but I'm not arguing with Xiao right now, I'm arguing with the deer.
"Is honor to my profession what makes us samurai, and we don't need to be bound by any contract to carry on with our bushido." I said.
"You carry on your profession as well as Mona carries on her finances!" The deer insulted my honor.
"Now wait a minute Yanfei. I'm not that bad at finances, is just that as an Astrologer I don't think I should sully my work with something like clutter or the—"
"See what I mean!? Is like you guys can't even function outside of your jobs! Reasons like these are why contracts are so important. You can't just leave everything to what you become in life, you have to be bound by an everyday standard too like we are." The deer was really having fun with this argument.
"Aren't you the one idiot of the tribe who signed practically no contract at all?" I rubbed salt on her wound.
"My contract with my parents to live happily no matter what is still important darn it…. Huh?" The deer felt a hand land on her shoulder.
It was Meg.
"You where comparing my profession to Innamorato's just now weren't you? I dare you to say that again." Meg threatened.
"Or what? You two really need to get in shape and function like decent human beings besides doing your jobs." The deer insulted us both again.
"Bold words for a member of a tribe of outdated fools." I said.
"Bold words coming from the bottom of the food chain." Meg said.
Afterwards I felt Xiao hand land on my own shoulder and it was decided we would have a match to settle things for good.
"Is me and Xiao against you two! Duty vs honor and contracts vs professions in a game of wits and the losers have to cave in!" The deer proposed.
Meg gripped my hand letting me know that we had this in the bag and Xiao stood with his arms crossed besides the deer.
Because they made the challenge, it was our choice in the game we would play.
"I say we play hunt, with the savages as the prey of course." I was in full-honor mode by this point.
Everyone was in full-honor mode by that point.
Xiao began glaring at me.
"I believe the real prey here should take that role." Xiao mocked us.
"And I meant the real prey should get that honor." I butted heads with Xiao.
The deer and Meg got in between to separate us. Meg then drew her one and only coin from her purse and showed it to all of us.
"I say we just flip a coin if we can't decide. If it lands on heads me and Innamorato play the hunters and if it's tails then the animals can play pretend." A very honorable Meg said as she flipped a coin.
The savages nodded in agreement before they suddenly realized the ruse and choked on their foolhardiness.
The coin had landed.
"Heads as it was ordained by fate, I guess you two can scurry on now losers" Meg mocked.
"Oh deer, did the mighty Adepti went and underestimated their opponents? Ha ha ha ha haaa…?" I laughed when I noticed Xiao was pointing a finger up.
"What say we have a punishment game to thwart the insolence of the losers in place?" Xiao had proposed.
We all where feeling very honorable at this moment so the thought of humiliating the losers even more got an unanimous vote of approval from everyone.
"I say if we win, I get to decide what we'll be eating for the next two weeks. And not just the selection, timely presentation and concurrence of the meals must always be at my beck and call." Xiao set his terms and conditions.
Damn, I know his boss practically told him to take a vacation and do as he wished, but that's just selfish tyranny. Am I gonna be eating salad and tofu for the next two weeks straight if we lose?
"Hey Xiao, wait a minute. I have days where is my turn to pick too, and I do all the cooking around here so I'm the one whose going to be slaving away at the kitchen. Doesn't that deal means I'm practically loosing too?" The deer inquired.
"Deal, and when we'll win I'm boiling the deer on the stove until she apologizes to my honor." I said.
"Acceptable." Xiao replied.
"After she insulted my Astrology I see her no different than a cooking ingredient." Meg added.
The deer took a step back as we all unanimously agreed she was getting punished regardless of who wins.
Her sorry tail aside, we are all adults here and thought we might be feeling honorable as heck right now to see reason, we know exactly whose the idiot who started the war and we're not going to let her walk away whiteout her just desserts.
"F-fine by me! I like the food Xiao orders anyways and I'm still going to see you lose in the end, shamurai! Prepare to eat Adepti dust for lunch today!" Deery said.
This where more or less the sequences of events that led us to the present of today.
Lucky thing I didn't forget anything this time because otherwise I would be in a fix to explain what was really going on.
"Alright, I know what this looks like but I can explain." I said raising my hands in surrender.
"Oh I'll listen to you all you want when we get back to the station." VK replied.
Darn, she wants to arrest me no matter what. I mean I don't blame her since that's how her job works but…
Well but… is not like I've done anything wrong and I'm at Mondstadt territory right now. I probably have a clean slate here so….
The deer.
If I get arrested right now what would the deer do about it?
I dived into what's left of my memory of her to see what she usually says under these circumstances.
"Jail isn't so bad. Trust me, you'll get use to it. And besides, I'll be visiting everyday to keep you company."
"Freedom is so overrated don't you think?"
"Say, why don't just clean your conscience by going to the nearest Minelith station and confessing all your crimes?"
"Don't you just love birds on a cage? Where you can love them all day and they can never get away?"
"All I'm saying is. You can always rely on me — if you get house arrest. I'll volunteer."
"You know, when I look at you. I feel like the law can be both a help and a hindrance."
Oh deer, I need to escape here at all cost or I'm going to rot in jail for the rest of my life.
"Listen VK—"
"Whose VK?"
"—I swear this was all a game we where playing so, can I go please?" I pleaded with sweat dripping down my forehead.
"A game? What jovial pastime. Any friends which you where playing this 'game' here to corroborate for you?"
"Eh… she just left as you can see…" I timidly said.
"Well then, I'm afraid I can't just take your word for it and let you get away. What would my superiors think if I'm going around letting criminals get away? Don't worry though, I know that girl and I can get in contact with….!"
I ran for the cliff and drew out my glider when a cold wave hits me.
My glider was frozen over and stuck in placed before it could open. I stuck looking down at the long fall.
I bet I could fly away with my origami's, but I noticed VK had a glider too. She would follow me around.
"Ara, were you going to go find your friends to keep playing games?" VK said as she drew a pair of handcuffs.
Archon damnit all! Why does everyone seems to carry one of those when I'm around?
Maybe I should fight back? No, if I did that then that whatever her name the deer said was won't help me find a boat to Inuzuma.
I remember the deer said she was a captain of the knights of Favonius. Probably a friend of this one too.
Guh! If I remembered her name I could probably tell her why we are here for, or if I even remembered what the deer's name is. I could demonstrate we know each other's….
I should fight her right? I mean, she's a captain but that isn't much when compared to me….
The zap and tear of electricity made its way to our ears.
The Electro Cube was charging our way before we even knew it.
It dismantled and became a drill that was headed our way.
I prepared to block it with my power before I caught sight of VK charging against it.
A loud Clank sound echoes and the cube and Vk where sent back by the shockwave.
The cube separated to become a new weapon all together and fired lasers all around it. Only there was a strange sword of light that VK had dug on one of the pieces as they collided.
The sword of light exploded brightly and shattered the cube core to pieces.
In just one trade of blows VK put an end to something so unnatural and powerful….
A ring of Cryo energy began forming in my right thumb. Maybe I should even keep it in case we meet each other's again.
VK noticed what I was doing and redirects her sword tip at me.
"Not going down whiteout a fight I see. Well, nobody will bat an eye to see a Lawrence bring in a pulp-beaten convict or two." She said with a confident smile.
"Yeah about that, you shouldn't have given me so much time to prepare. I had time to catch your entire essence in a ring even before that angry cube showed up." I said and jerked my thumb over the Cape cliff.
VK felt a tremendous forced pulling on her wing-cape for a moment.
"W-what!? Wait what's—stop I comand…" She started to panic as her vision was dragging her towards the border of the cliff— full speed.
Her vision which is resting on that strange wing-cape VK had, was heading for a fall in the direction I sent it.
VK sure can run on heels, I was expecting her to trip by how fast she had been running to keep up.
"Stop this nonsense I said!" She yelled and dug her sword and heels on the grass.
Her heels left a trail of dirt as she fruitlessly slowed down her vision in any way. It just looked more funny now. And I think her outfit is not decently made with that obscene pose of relenting in mind.
"Nonononononono— KYAAAAAAA!!!" She finally crossed the threshold and fell down the cliff we where standing.
I looked over and saw her opening her glider to slow her fall. I had only sent her elemental energy to pull her out the cliff, not down. She should be fine now.
"Y-you! Mark my words! Vengeance shall be mine!!" She yelled back at me as she glides down.
Her declaration did piss me off a little so I jerked my right thumb down. And perhaps unintentionally-not really her vision began to pull her down this time rather than just sideways.
Her glider wings bent back from the force and she started falling at terminal velocity like she should while screaming "EAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Like a normal person under her circumstances would.
By my honor, I don't know what came over me but I sure hope we never meet again or else she's going to be pissed.
But we'll, I'll probably forget about it anyways.
I headed back to our camp and found out we had tied on our game.
Meg had led Xiao to a trap using her seer abilities and caught him using a huge water bubble.
"Written in the stars." She had said when I asked how she did it.
I promised her all the food and drinks she could have when we get to Mondstadt.
Part 3 Yanfei PoV
Mondstadt, the city of freedom.
After weeks on end traveling we finally arrived at our first destination.
Once pass the gates we decided to grab something to eat and headed for a restaurant my friend recommended in her letters. A place by the name The Good Hunter.
"Ouch! Go easy on my hair alright!" Birdbrain whined like a baby.
He asked me to comb his hair while we waited for the dishes to be served.
He usually does this wherever he needs to pick on fallen hairs which he never told me what he did with them before we set off on this journey. Apparently he needs it for his origami.
"Here, a brush full of idiot hair. Comb it more often yourself so you don't get that many knots. If it gets too bad you might even have to cut it to get rid of the really bad hair knots." I said and handed the hairbrush to him.
He tied his usual ponytail using his Electro vision and picked the hairs off the brush. He began storing them in the space contained within his vision. The one we use to store weapons and such.
"Say Simp, how come you never use your vision to store your sword or your origami's for that matter? Why do you only put hair in there?" I asked.
"Can we please not have this topic before a meal?" Mona asked as she fiddled with her glass of wine.
Paid by Simp of course.
"Actually, is a funny story how I came up with this trick. Is something I learned from a friend of mine." Simp said as he rested his elbows on the table.
It was only me, Simp and Mona here. Xiao prefers to stay away from humans for as long as possible because he doesn't wants them being affected by his burden. He chose to stay on the roof and wait for us to bring him his food.
Simp took a sip of his drink and gave off a drunk smile.
"Do you remember Kazu, right deer? Well back in Inuzuma we used to hang out all the time, just the two of us, but then one day we where passing by the house of one of the Tri Commission samurais, and it was under attack by ronins." Simp could barely hide his laugh by this point.
He stood up, drew his old sword and took on an Iaido stance.
"While I was defending the maids, a group of ronins began to surround Kazu, and he went like, 'As one with wind and cloud!' And swung his sword creating a dome like range of maple leaves and tearing down all the ronin in one slash."
"Oh, so that friend of yours back at the Alcor was indeed a real samurai like I thought." I gave my observation.
"The fu you mean 'a real samurai' deer? Anyways, the lord of the house saw everything and was amazed by the sword art Kazu had demonstrated. The lord began to ramble on by himself all about how Kazu was the greatest samurai he had ever encountered and how beautiful his sword art seems that even made him see fallen maple leaves as the ronin fell too. The guy even started picking up the maple leaves as a memento of that event. He was really hyped on the way Kazu made a bunch of them leaves appear out of nowhere when he used his sword technique." Birdbrain was telling a great tale yet for some reason he could barely hold back the laugher.
"Say, and how did your friend felt about all that praise? He strikes me as the humble kind unlike you do." I pointed out.
"You know, it really feels like you want to have a word with my honor today, but I'll let you go because I'm hungry. How Kazu felt you wanted to know? If I had to put it into words it would be. Guilt, embarrassment, a mischievous grace, about to laugh and cry his ass off. I know I could barely keep my act together." Simp said…
Huh?
"Wait what do you mean you two where holding back the laughter? What happened?" I asked but I was starting to regret wanting to know more as time went on.
Birdbrain sheathed his sword and sat down as he started to say.
"See here, the problem with Kazu is that he's the lord of a fallen house, and basically, a hobo. Another thing to note about him is that he really loves maple leaves as much as I love my origami's. And because of those two details about him, wherever fall season comes up he signs himself for garden cleaning duty—"
"Stop! I don't want to know anymore!" I cut him off and told him to shut up.
But that only made him want to tell his story even more.
"Because he has a vision, all he does is store all the fallen maple leaves in it and get paid like he cleaned the whole garden. We later go to the river where he tosses all of them. Makes quite a beautiful scenery, really. And that day we where heading for said river with his vision as full of maple leaves as his pockets where in money from the gardening jobs. Then the ronins showed up and of course he had to draw his sword in a hurry, and because of his Anemo vision, all the maple leaves came spilling out with his sword."
"Aaaahhhh! Shut up! I can't hear you!" I tried my best to drown out the noise.
It hurts my pride that I had apprised his friend as someone who shouldn't have been seen with him. But they where no much different.
"The lord of the house was so impressed by the beauty of the technique that he even asked us for a name. And then Kazu in the heat of the moment was like, 'Kazuha Slash.' Puffhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!" The shamurai laughed his ass off.
I should've known better that anything related to this idiot has to be like him in some way.
Wait a minute, does that means that I…
"They gave him a big reward for the help and the art performance. So ever since he always has his vision storage full of maple leaves so he can perform his 'secret move' at any given time. Ah, I love his sense of humor. But that's pretty much the reason I carry my sword on my hips and my origami's on my sleeves. I don't want all my hair to come spilling out if I have to draw my weapon in a hurry like Kazu. I don't think a huge ball of hair will make for a cool secret move."
It was as the idiot kept laughing that the waitress brought us our meals.
"Here's the food you ordered. A Flaming Red Bolognese for miss Mona. Tea Break Pancake for the red haired. A Sticky Honey Roast for the samurai and a serving of Sautéed Matsutake. Enjoy your meal." The waitress gave us a smile and left to serve other costumers.
Simp set his plate aside and picked up the Sautéed Matsutake.
"I'm taking this to Xiao before it gets cold, be right back." He said and left for the back of the building.
He's probably looking for a way to get to the roofs.
I spread the syrup over my pancakes and began eating. They where sweet and delicious.
Mona was gasping for air as the spicy spaghetti burned her tongue. But she looked like she couldn't have enough of it.
It was as we where enjoying the food that someone walked behind me and covered my eyes.
"Guess who." I heard the voice of someone I hadn't seen in a long time.
"Eula, right?" I asked.
"Wrong answer." This mysterious someone said.
"Eh? But I'm sure this is how Eula sounds…!" My eyes where uncovered and I saw the person speaking.
A tall girl of short blue hair was giving me a coy smile.
"How impudent. Remembering my voice even after it's been so long since we last saw each-others, how can I bring myself to punish you now?" Eula said, but she could barely hide her smile.
"I'm sorry I wasn't writing you recently, is just I had my hands full with an idiot…. Huh, w-wait Eula what are you doing!?" I panicked when Eula got close enough I could feel her breath.
"Oh, was my little princess in distress not writing me because she was having fun with someone else? Now I can punish you to my heart contempt." Eula ran her fingers trough my hair.
"W-wait please, p-people are watching can't you see!?" I looked over at Mona to escape.
Mona was drunk beyond recognition and had her tongue stuck out like she was trying to cool off from the spicy food.
She was useless.
"Ah!" I let a slight moan escape.
Eula held my chin and forcibly turned my attention back to her. She sat over my thighs to trap me in my chair and began to run her hands over my body.
"A whole month and not a single letter, and then you show up here like is no big deal. Care to make me your excuses, my naughty princess in distress." Eula toyed with body as she said.
I gulped a little.
"Eh well… you see I was just… traveling all the way here! I wanted it this to be a surprise and— Ah!" I felt her fingers running somewhere sensitive.
Doesn't she knows we are in public?
"I detect a little liar here. Is the little liar looking to get in trouble?" She started pulling down my shorts under the table.
Ahh come on! Where's that idiot when I need him! I'm getting eaten over here because of him and he can't even be there to help!
"Wait! I'll tell you the truth! I'm here because I have a favor to ask from you so please stop!" I said as I fought to pull my shorts up from under the table.
She had them down to where my shan't-be-mentioned was showing, and her hands where coming. Help!
"Oh, asking for favors when you still haven't paid me for your last intrepid rescue. Can't have you getting spoiled here now my princess? You got to pay your dues. Now where was the nearest motel around here?"
"Help! Simp help me damnit!" I frantically began looking all around.
Eula had my shorts halfway down my hips and I could see everything under the table.
A drunk Mona responded to my cries for help.
"Hicknamorato shash bee luuking from the raaf and Xiao ike starry eyes hic!" Mona babblers as best as she could.
I looked up the building and I saw Simp and Xiao heads sticking out roof like two damn cats.
They where chewing Matsutakes like there was a damn show going down here.
"E-Eula I'm so happy to introduce you to my new friend! Simp Bad the Paper Cut Samu— get down here already you dofus!" I yelled at the roof.
The pair of cats hid like I hadn't seen them and then the blond cat jumped down to the ground.
"Deer, you never told me you had a girlfriend." This idiot said with his eyes glinting like stars.
"She's not my girlfriend! Also Eula, this is the troublesome friend I was talking about."
"You never told me you had a boyfriend." Eula gaze turned cold.
"He's not my boyfriend!" Yet.
I finally managed to pull my shorts up as Eula stood brandishing her sword…
Eh?
"I see now what was happening before. Oh I'm sorry, did I interrupt something? Well I welcome any animosity you have, because I too got a bone or two to pick with you." Now the air around Eula had started to turn cold.
And what exactly does she means? Did she and Simp met before, but when?
I fixed all my clothes and got in between the two.
"Say, have you ever heard of the Lawrence grudges and reputation before? Because you're about to know in fine detail. Mark my words."
"Wait, stop! Why are you getting ready to fight!? Please stop!" I did my best to calm her down.
The subject of her vengeance brought a sauteed Matsutake to his mouth and chewed before he salivately asked her.
"And who are you?"
Part 4 Simp Bad PoV
We found ourselves inside an old rundown house of several stores. It was full of notes and stars drawings everywhere not to mention the crystal balls.
It was Meg's house, whom volunteered to house us during our stay in Mondstadt.
Our encounter with the deer's girlfriend simply attracted too much attention.
"I challenge you to a duel right here and now. Defend your honor and face the might of a Lawrence, samurai from Inuzuma!" The deer virgin killer wearing friend had challenged.
And of course, I accepted. Though I want to feel bad for what happened next, I just can't fault myself after all. My honor was at stake there.
"Yeah! Bend down you Lawrence!" The spectators clamored.
As a result of VK declaration and our duel, a crowd had gathered quite quickly.
"Fall to the corrupted nobles!"
"Oh my, the view is exhilarating down here!" A man with his head pressing the ground said.
"Somebody stop this duel, there's children watching!" A mother yelled while covering her child eyes.
I was wondering what the new elemental ring on my thumb was for, but the moment I tried it, all I had to do was spit at the floor and jerk a thumbs down.
VK was squatting widely and fighting with all her might to keep her vision from touching my spit. And of course, in record time we gathered a crowd bent on watching the obscenely squatting girl— I mean witnessing our duel.
"Holy Barbatos! Look at that vengeance!"
"Are the Lawrence still accepting slaves? Cause damn!"
"I dream to be that spit on the floor."
"The zipper is going down boys— hey stop pushing! I was behind her first!"
"Guh! Curse you samurai!" VK cursed me.
There was really no point in trying to fight back, the strength of my pull would have her vision deep-throating my spit if she so much as loosened a finger. And is not my fault she came here dressed like that.
The moment I realized I already had an elemental ring with her name on it, the duel was over. I practically had her dancing in the palm of my hand by that point.
It was as I was happily basking in the glorious and hard earned honor of victory when I felt a sudden heath wave gathering above my head, and I had to dinosaur roll out of there.
A loud Blam thundered when a flaming anvil crushed the cobblestone where I once was standing. The violent deer tried to bonk me again.
That traitor!
With our duel interrupted and the masses getting in the way of any further communication, we headed for Meg's house after she managed to sober up a bit.
We sat in a pair of couches Meg had on her living room. Is quite spacious in here for someone who couldn't afford a meal.
On one of the couches sat Meg and I while on the other the deer and VK.
VK had her arm wrapped around the deer and was running her hands over her hips, trying to provoke a reaction from me. I guess she still doesn't believe we are just friends.
What VK didn't know is that I was enjoying seeing that smug deer looking all embarrassed and uncomfortable for once.
"If I got everything my princess said right, you want a ship to Inuzuma, after the country finally closed for good, and you want a ship despite knowing there's a huge monster large at sea. Is that correct?"
"Ah!" The deer let out a moan.
VK was taking out her frustrations on her body by ways of skin-ship.
The deer tried to get away but VK pulled her down by the antler and wrapped her arms around her again.
I think I'm going to like this girl, very much.
"Yes, that's correct. There's sort of a rebellion going over there and I want to be of help." I said.
"Liar! You just want to get close to that Electro ahm!" The deer butted in our conversation and VK immediately silenced her with her ways.
After a moment's thinking VK responded to my pleas.
"There's nothing I can do for you right now. I can't endanger one of our commercial vessels while knowing what you intend to face with. And I cannot risk the lives of my soldiers either." VK had said.
I could hardly hide my disappointment after coming so far for nothing. I guess it is to be expected given what I was asking for.
"Eula… I know it isn't fair to ask but, could you at least see what you can do for him?" The deer asked.
VK made a coy smile and leaned closer till they where eye to eye.
"And I only said there's nothing I could do 'right now.' Of course though, I don't work for free. We Lawrence make it a point to be paid handsomely for our services."
The deer gulped when faced with those hungry eyes. There was obviously some compensation for VK to get out of the way.
I bumped shoulders with Meg and asked her.
"In what room will the deer be staying?"
"Third after the stairs to the second floor. There's a comfy pile of clothes over there she can use as a bed." Meg offered, clearly understand my meaning for asking.
I guess she still wants to get back at the deer for what happened this morning.
I could see the deer complexion paling by the second as VK smile turned sharper and sharper like it would reach from ear to ear.
I wasn't in her position and even I could tell she was getting eaten the next time VK visits.
"For the heinous crime of forgetting to pay your tributes my naughty princess. Vengeance will be mine." VK said with a caring expression.
Not even a hint of hostility despite the words she was uttering. It was the kind of playful tone you would only show the person you love.
Then she stood up and glared down at me.
"Vengeance will be mine!!" She roared.
Geez, I could swear she actually meant it when she said it to me.
Afterwards VK left to report back at work and Xiao entered trough one of the windows.
Our only choice is to wait for VK to return with good news. In the meantime we got nothing to do but walk around and trip all over Meg's messy lair.
Part 5
"We need to prepare for the next step of our journey, and for that we need a power up." I announced with great determination.
I've been paying close attention to our members strengths and crippling weaknesses during this journey and I have concluded some deers of us might not make it. So is time to be perfectly ready like some heroes would say.
Nobody seemed interested in listening to me though.
Xiao was lounging on the couch whiteout a care in the world, Meg was collecting her stuff to make her home less messy for guests and the deer was carrying some planks and a hammer to her room.
She's probably going to reinforce the door and windows in some way which is why I'm going to sabotage her plans later.
Can't have VK feeling unsatisfied with our end of the deal. Sorry my deer, I swear I'm liking this betrayal as much as you would but is always 'satisfaction guaranteed' when you make a deal with a samurai.
"A power up? You mean like a training montage of sorts? That's stupid, even if Eula takes weeks to find us a ship, we aren't going to become much stronger, trust me. I already practice my martial arts every day and Xiao has been fighting for ages yet you think a little training is going to make a difference?" The uncouth creature assumes.
"When did I even said anything about training? That's for idiots. Everyone knows exercise doesn't translate to big power ups in real life. What we are doing is going shopping."
"Huh… shopping?"
Later that day inside a back alley store where the light doesn't reach.
We entered the shady merchant corner and where instantly met with swords decorating the walls and all manner of items and accessories.
"Welcome, welcome. Welcome to my humble store, The Wind Blows." The owner of The Wind Blows store greets us.
She was a young woman of hazel hair and a bob cut.
I have experience dealing with this kinds of transactions so I took the lead.
"Greetings commoner. My name is Simp Bad, a samurai of House Bad from Inuzuma." I greeted.
The first thing to do before a shady deal is to flaunt your honor all over the dealer face. That's how you let her know not to mess with you and to bring in the good stuff cause there's cash where that honor came from.
"Ohhhhhh, a noble no less! I could recognize that gaze of superiority everywhere. So what can I get for you mister Bad?" The owner asked as she led us deeper inside the store.
We arrived at the main room where she kept all her wares.
Seeing the quality in equipment I was looking for, I decided to inquire with my party about their preparations.
"Xiao, how are you doing equipment wise?"
"I have my lance and I don't need anything else." Xiao responded.
Combat wise he should be even stronger than me, and his lance looks rare and powerful. He's the one who's been fighting for the longest of us so I'm sure I can trust him to know what he's doing.
"Meg, what about you, what do you have in ways of equipment?"
"I have this Solar Pearl my master gave me before I left. And I used my Astrology powers to get my hands on nothing but the best artifacts so I'm fine." Meg said.
I guess you'd to be hard pressed to find someone more prepared than a seer who can see the future. Maybe her equipment isn't top tier but her artifacts must definitely be optimized to get the most power out of them.
Now onto the one who really worries me.
"Deer, let me see your catalyst."
"You want to see my weapon? Well sure but don't let your jaw hit the floor when you see this beauty. Ta ta tachan! Dodoco Tales!" The deer enthusiastically drew out a red book.
I took it away from her and tossed it in the pile of junk the owner had.
"Hey! That's a rare copy of the original Dodoco Tales and it took me a lot of work to get! Give it back!"
"I can't believe you where using a children's book as a weapon. I'm almost offended to call myself your friend. Hey owner, what do you recommend for my deer?"
After hearing me the owner gave a long glance at the deer up and down that it made her cover herself creeped out. If the owner had been an old man I'm sure she would've gotten sued.
"The Wanderers Troupe set for sure. Legendary pieces of equipment only the best of the best can wield! At a legendary price of course!" The saleswoman gave us a big show before she pulled a drawer with five artifacts and a book.
The Widsith, read the book she showed us.
"Just one flick of the pages from this book and your friend in red will be wielding powers even the Archons themselves would envy!" The owner assured us.
After she handed the book, the first thing I did was turn the cover looking to find the brand for authenticity.
"Made in Liyue." I read the brand, whilst raising an eyebrow at the owner.
Then I went ahead and crackled my knuckles before the shrinking store owner.
"You, you had the audacity to try and con me didn't you?" I said as I grabbed the owner by the collar and reeled back my fist.
"Eek! Wait please forgive me!" The owner cried.
But then Meg got in between us.
"Wait a moment Innamorato. I know what you're thinking but this is exactly how weapons and catalysts are made and given to vision users." Meg explained.
The deer took and step forward and resumed where she left off.
"You know how I just said my Dodoco Tales was a copy right? See, there's a great abundance of vision users but not enough legendary weapons for them to wield. And for that matter, a method called Copy N Refine was invented where you generate an exact copy of the weapon and use alchemy to bring it as close to the real deal as you can get."
"Even if it is a copy, a refinement five weapon holds practically as much power as the real deal and would be much more easier to get your hands on. Honestly, the genuine articles aren't worth much these days when a fake can be just a slightly inferior version or even better." Meg finished the explanation.
To make her point she materialized a strange catalyst which resembles a sun. She then showed me the back of it and it read, 'Made in Liyue.'
"If you get it, please let go of that poor girl before you start a scandal near my house." Meg begged me.
I took a closer look at the owner and she was nodding vigorously like everything they said was true. I've only been using regular katanas before and my artifacts where hand-picked by my servants so I never had the chance to come across this strange practice.
I put her down and was about to apologize when the deer silenced me.
"Not so fast Mona. Is true our weapons are made this way but I didn't see this girl giving Simp the rundown when he was boasting all about how legendary her equipment was and it's prices. I'm sure she was out to scam us for real back there." The deer added.
I immediately grabbed the scammer by the collar and brought her close to me again.
"H-help! Mercy good sir!" She begged as I was reeling back my fist again.
But the deer interrupts me again.
"Wait just a minute Simp, there's no need to waste an opportunity as good as this. I say we let this fine lady give us a discount and we can let this be a thing of the past. Am I right ms owner?" The smug deer was back.
I agreed with her wholeheartedly and put the girl down again. If there's one thing I remember about the deer is that she likes appraisals, so there's no way we aren't taking advantage of this situation to get a sweater deal from the sale.
After getting the strongest copies of the Wanderers set artifacts , we all moved to a strange table with an alchemy sigil on it. The merchant explains next the way the process works.
"P-please dear costumers, lay your new set in the table and then we can begin. For this process I'm going to be using alchemy to draw an item from you called Primogems. Primogems are something everyone has but they are really scarce. They are like the happiness and favors accumulated since the day you where born. And with them we can spin the wheels of fate and alchemy to make your weapons stronger and even yourself could become stronger using this method by enhancing your constellations." The merchant said.
Primogems? I don't know what those are but if you get them by making people's happy then I'm sure I'm going to be drowning in them.
The merchant then added some strange ingredients to the alchemist table and I was bathed in a light blue hue.
"You have enough for thirteen, tenth rolls sir." She said.
I heard a sneering behind my back but when I turned around everyone was looking all stoic.
"Thirteen, tenth rolls. Is that a lot or somewhere around the middle?" I asked.
The merchant took a timid step back as she refused to make eye contact.
"For getting a five stars refinement or constellation, that number would surely guaranteed one in the worst case scenario, and would even take you all the way to half pity. But as for if that's enough for a person whose never used their accumulated Primogems in their entire life…. that's like a fifth of the average."
"Haaa ha ha ha— Kyaaaa! Hey, no tickling me!" The deer cried when I shut her up.
Are these Primogems thingies trying to insinuate something to my honor here?
"Oh but not to worry sir. Because Primogems are earned by making others people happy, you can just pay me regular Mora and I could become your endless supply of Primogems." The merchant said rubbing her hands shadily.
And I heard all I needed to hear.
"Good enough. Hit it!"
The wheels of fate and alchemy turned. We won two refinements for the Widsith before my thirteen rolls ran out.
"And here's more Mora ya greedy slut, are you happy?" I said slapping while slapping the merchant face with my bag of Mora.
"Yes! Yes good sir yes I'm happy! I'm very happy! My mother always used to say I would roll in a big fat pile of Mora when I grew older!"
"Then let me see that happiness! Show me some Primogems and let's go!"
The deer and Meg took a step back as the owner and I fell into a gambling rush.
In the nexts eight rolls we earned enough to R5 the Widsith.
"Sir, I noticed your friend doesn't has her talents maxed out. Would you like to buy the materials necessary to—"
"Yes I'll like! Build me a deer that could conquer the world!"
Primogems and crowns rained over our heads like it where shooting stars.
"A-a-a-a— so much Mora!! Wait Innamorato stop! You're going to make me cry!"
"He's gone now. Once greed gets a hold it won't let go until the humans have nothing else to lose."
"S-stop it you dofus! I'm really thankful you want to make me stronger but we still need you to pay for the rest of journey!"
"Gahahahahaha! Silence you plebeians! WITNESS! This is the power of Mora! The power to rule the world! Ahahahahahahaaaaaa!" I laughed and dropped another bag full of Mora on the counter.
"Ohhhh my ohhhh! So much! I can't believe there's so much!" The merchant looked like she would faint.
"Yeah! Whose the idiot who said money can't buy happiness!? Let me see those Primos rolling! Now get me some constellations for my deer!"
"On it my super loaded costumer! I've seen her constellation and she's a Bestia Lustitia! Let those constellations start rolling!"
We dropped the Primogems and it soon began raining starts on the alchemy table.
One of them flew out and shoot the deer in the forehead.
"Ouch! That hurts…. Huh? What's this… I feel enlightened. Like I leaned how to use my power much more effectively whiteout exhausting myself… How does that even…?" The deer was stupefied.
The next winning roll came and flew around the deer before smacking her on the back of the head.
"Eek…! Wait a minute, I feel like I've grown… deadlier? Like I could take advantage of my enemy wounds to kill them faster and make them burn…"
"Here's the thirds coming!" The merchant dabbed.
"What!? Wait no I'm not rea— Yeouch!" The deer cried when the third one pieced inside her flat as brick chest.
Of course it left no wounds, but it still seemed to bother her a little.
"This… My skills… I feel like my skills improved tremendously just now… But how?"
"Fourth one incoming and this is a big one."
"No wait! At least let me prepare in advance!" The deer cried.
She rose her guard to block and this one went around her and dug at her tail.
"Aaaahm!" She cried and jumped in place for a moment.
Her teal eyes suddenly widened as if she had seen a revelation.
"This power, the power to form shields of energy to protect myself from danger." She said with wide eyes of enlightenment.
I really want to ask her how a star going inside her butt suddenly taught her how to make energy shields….
Maybe VK could tell me after the deer's done paying for our ride.
The fifth star made landing on her shoulder.
"This is the power… the power to enforce my greatest skill even more. This is a amazing! More!" She begged for more.
"And here's the sixth one coming!"
"Auch!" The deer whined when the last star smacked her in the back of her left hand.
She looked up in amazement and spoke.
"My seals… I always thought three seals was my limits, but now I feel like I could go further beyond and make a fourth one…. Simp this is amazing! Thank you! Thank you so much!" The deer was ecstatic.
Dang, she looks so happy she's going to make me feel bad for wanting to sell her body for a ride to Inuzuma.
"Alright that's enough. I'm satisfied with the results and now that my deer is maxed out I won't ever need to worry about fighting ever again. Now she can defend me verbally and physically too. In court or the wild! At bars or street's! I'm practically unstoppable now! Ha ha ha ha haaaa!" I tossed a little lie to throw deery off.
"You! I just knew you where up to something shrewd like usual! Just so you know, I don't care how much you invested in me, you're going to be fighting and protecting me too….. But in sight of all the Mora you spent… I can take the wheel for a while and spoil you a little… But that's only temporary you hear? So be grateful! Hmpts!" The tsundere deer pouts.
It was not my intention to sour her mood but I….
I can't really tell her I made her stronger because I wrote Meg's prediction on a note before I lost my memories. And there was a part in there that scares me…
No, this was just a self-assurance I needed. What I really have to do is make sure she doesn't comes to Inuzuma with me under any circumstances.
That way Fate will have it's way with her still being safe and I can worry about the rest later.
I picked over the Wanderers Troupe artifacts and gave them to the deer. We where just about to leave when the greedy store owner stopped us.
"Wait a moment my rich— I mean valuable costumer! I couldn't help but notice you didn't got anything for yourself! Would you like perhaps to buy a constellation or two?" The merchant said and tossed some ingredients on the alchemy table by herself.
A constellation? I could use one but if someone looked at mine right now they would know— "Stop! Stop right this second!" I warned desperately.
But it was too late.
"Huh…? What's this? There's an Electro constellation that looks like a paper man but sir…. Why do you also have a Pyro constellation?" The merchant asked.
Archon damnit it all—
"Yes Innamorato, why don't you tell us the reason you have a second constellation, huuuuhhh." A thuggish Meg tried to hustle me.
I could feel the sweat rolling down my head as even the clicks of the clock sounded like handcuffs around my wrists.
"Interesting. What does his second constellation looks like?" We even managed to get Xiao's attention.
The merchant frowned as she kept looking at the table.
"It's, weird… It looks like a crab of a single pincer standing in the middle of a sea of flames…." The merchant explained what she saw.
I could feel my bowels telling me to go see a toilet. I could already smell the prison cell— nay, the deer's dark dungeon where I was gonna get thrown for life.
I mechanically turned my head around. She had her hands on her hips and was giving me the narrow eyes. She knew something was up.
She came close and grabbed my hand, yet strangely, I felt no handcuffs around my wrist this time.
"Let's go home, Simp… Is my turn to pick dinner today so I'll cook your favorite, Cured Pork Dry Hotpot."
I was expecting her to toss me in jail, but the only thing I got out of her that day.
Was her reassuring smile.
Part 6
I was resting on a chair, my torso over the table. I had a headache, and it felt like that time the deer dropped an anvil on me.
I took a breath in and out, I smelled alcohol. I did the usual use of my powers to get rid of it, I felt much better afterwards.
I finally opened my eyes and sat straight in the chair. I was in a place I didn't recognize.
Walls of stone on the four corners and some kegs of wine, an old lamp hanging above my head and a door at the end of some old stairs.
This place looked like a dungeon.
But the thing that caught my attention the most where the two individuals sitting on the other side of the table.
The red head, and the smiley dark skinned man.
The dark skinned man winked like a scoundrel and greeted me.
"Good evening, our dear friend, I hope you slept nicely? It seems your memories did wipe out like you said they would by the look in your eyes… Now, about that little vigilante teamwork you promised us."