Bon Appetite
Part 1 Yanfei PoV
I sat by one of the crates laid on the main deck, it was a sunny morning today aboard the Foaming Grape.
The sea had a nice jet black color just as it was yesterday. This has been our seventh day since we entered Mob Ivory territory.
"Ah… food… I want food…" Mona cried besides me.
Beyond her I could see the concentrate poisonous air turning black as it clashed against the Anemo barrier Xiao had erected around the ship.
Coming into the god of evolution territory, we weren't expecting to encounter a dark-poisonous sea. The carcasses of dead fish and even whales floated atop the Black Sea surface as we made our way trough.
Soon the air began to smell sweet, as if the entire region had gone under the side effects of the beast.
Xiao climbed atop the crows nest and has been preoccupied with keeping the air clean around the ship ever since.
However despite his best attempts to help us breathe fresh air, it wasn't enough for our provisions. After the first day alone the food started to go bad and the water became undrinkable.
All our Sticky Honey Roast, all the Sweet Madame, all the Almond Tofu Xiao likes so much. All of it became inedible whiting the day.
The second day we got by thanks to Mona Hydro Vision, which helped us with producing fresh water, for the few minutes we take to drink it at least.
"Hic… this… this was not foretold…" She whined quietly by my side.
Mona isn't holding up so well, and she's our only source of clean water at the moment. Using her vision takes energy, and she hasn't eaten anything for almost a week now.
I can only imagine how bad Xiao must have it, he hasn't stopped using his powers or even slept for that matter.
I just hope they can hold on until we get out of this zone.
Eula is strong and capable as always, she's been holding fine for now and I'm an adepti. Though an inexperienced one, at least I can survive without food for far longer than humans could.
Then of course, there's that man.
The door leading inside the ship kicked open with a bang. A man with a red haori draped around his waist and a scarf by his bare collarbone, had come out.
He fastened a white rope around his forehead and marched for the starboard side of the ship. Behind him a young teen sharpening two filet knives.
"Yoho ho ho ho ho. Takoyaki coming up."
"Takoyaki… coming up." The birdbrain and they boy wolf sing.
Ever since we ran out of provisions, these two haven't been the same.
Everyday they go around singing about some new dish they want to try. Not really eating anything I'm sure, the only reason they act like this is to help lighten the mood.
The both stood looking down at the water besides the hull of the ship.
"There!" The boy wolf points.
The birdbrain fired a spark from his finger and followed it up by dragging something out the black sea as if it could float in the air.
Almost reminded me of picking up some fish at the market.
What came out was a purple creature of eight tentacles and three horns sticking out its slimy head. It had two yellow eyes with red irises, and it soon started looking around until it met with the ones who had brought him aboard.
"Greetings, future takoyaki."
"Takoyaki."
"My name is Simp Bad, the sailor. And you should be honored, we've come to rescue you from that pitiful existence you call a life."
"Salvation." Razor sharpened his knives with a hungry look.
I don't think the octopus creature could understand the meaning behind their words, but it sure didn't seem to like the way they where looking at it.
Seemingly taking offense with my friends poor attitude, the monster rose its tentacles, revealing rows upon rows of horrifyingly serrated teeth underneath…
What the heck is up with that thing!? That's so scary!
And launched itself against its aggressors. A ball of punches and tentacle punches formed atop the main deck between the monster and the two takoyaki enjoyers.
Apparently the birdbrain cleared some strange trial that earned him Razors respect, he's been referring to him constantly as Big Lupical.
The idiot on the other hand just seems to like Razor a lot.
Despite the dire situation we found ourselves in, these two hadn't stopped acting all willy-nilly as if they where on the first day of this voyage.
After they refused to listen to our warnings regarding eating poisoned food, Eula took it upon herself to study the poison and come up with an antidote. The issue is we lack the ingredients to make more than a handful doses, so it isn't really a solution for our current predicament.
Ever since, we decided to let those two see for themselves the consequences of eating poisonous food. But strangely, they never came asking us for the antidote.
However, they refused to let's us see them eating any of the food when we asked, which is why I know this is just a number to cheer us a little.
The octopus monster was beaten senseless and found himself dangling from the shoulders of both the birdbrain and the boy wolf.
"Hehehe, wait until you try this one, Raz. I'll show you the pride of my homeland culinary arts."
"Thanks for… the meal." The two merry sailors carried the monster back for the doors whence they came from.
Feeling tired, I pulled out my catalyst and aimed a hand at the creature.
"Incinerate!" A powerful flame erupted from within the creature and burned it down to a crisp.
The birdbrain and the wolf boy took a step back in shock, the tentacles they where holding snapped from the rest of the creature crispy body.
"What in abyss was that for, deer!?" The idiot was furious.
"Tako … yaki…" Razor fell too his knees, looking depressed.
Don't know why, but I'm feeling a little bad for him? But anyways.
"I told you to stop bringing weird things aboard the ship that you're not going to eat later. All you're doing is exhaust yourself for nothing. And the rest of us don't need the two of you pretending everything is going to be alright, we know we'll get trough this thanks to Mona... Just stop joking around and save your energy so you don't regret it later okay?" I said in my most motherly tone.
Seriously, speaking to this man is like talking to a child.
He then made a strange look of disgust and confusion at me.
"Weird things I'm not going to eat? Exhaust myself? Pretending…?!" Then the idiot facepalmed loudly as if he had just realized something. "Oh you stupid deer." And he insulted me.
"Something… something can be saved… something." Razor tore at the crispy monster, looking for bits that could still be salvaged.
Eula assured any creature that could survive under this Black Sea, it's likely even more venomous than the water itself, is why I fried it to a crisp.
But still, they sure are overreacting for a monster they weren't going to eat.
"Oh please, stop fooling around already. Just watching you is making me feel tired. You know you weren't going to eat that thing anyways."
"As a matter of fact deer, I was going to eat it, but now is ruined, my takoyaki is ruined! But since you seem to care so much about what we eat, why don't you take the initiative and get in the cooking pot instead!"
"Volunteer!" The birdbrain and the wolf boy tried to pick a fight with me.
Maybe is time I'd teach those two to respect us illuminated beast.
As I prepared to roast the both of them alive, I heard something I've been waiting to hear all week.
"Land ahead!" Xiao shouts from atop the crow's nest.
It caught the attention of everyone aboard.
I jumped up the crate and picked up a telescope as I ran for the head of the ship.
Looking over the telescope, I focused on the vegetation, but to my immediate disappointment, I found most of it has started to wither away. Likely a result of the poisonous air.
We're only doing alright because of Xiao, after all.
Still, I kept looking, there's a chance some part of the island looks fine, and maybe we can grab some food from over there.
And as I was looking, I noticed something over by the beach I've never expected to see under our current circumstances.
Carved on the sand by the beach, it was an S.O.S signal.
Part 2
We beached the ship to avoid having to swim on the water. Eula said we have enough vision holders to push it back later if we wanted.
I left the ship with Eula, Xiao and Mona. We went to investigate the S.O.S signal I saw trough the telescope.
The side of the island where the signal was had a rocky beach with was unsuited for the ship to come closer, so we had to walk a while before we got there.
The idiot and Razor stayed behind, trying to salvage what remains of that monster I had fried. Said they'll be fine even if they step out of Xiao barrier for while.
Finally we reached a makeshift camp on the beach with a long drawn out S.O.S signal.
Looking over at the center of the camp, there seems to be a few burned branches. I can still see embers amongst them. Someone used these recently.
Aside a tent made out of palm tree leaves, I also spotted several mounds of dirt. Seems like whoever's been using this camp has had to bury something.
Then I hear a rustle of the bushes nearby.
Eula was quick to draw her claymore and Xiao manifested his lance on his left hand.
After a few more rustle's of the foliage, a human silhouette came out.
It was a young man of ginger hair. He smelled of sweat, his clothes looked dirty and his mug covered in facial hair. I could see a red mask hanging from a side of his head…
"Wait a minute, it's you!" I pointed accusingly at the man dragging himself on his two feet.
I've seen him before, this was the man who unleashed the Overlord of the Vortex on Liyue Harbor. Tartaglia Childe.
"Help, at last… do you have… food with you?" He spoke weakly.
Shielding his eyes from the sun rays, he tried to come closer and stepped out from the palm tree shadows. Eula soon stood in between us.
Looking at him under the light of the sun, he looked malnourished. Is like he hadn't anything to eat for weeks. It was a miracle he was still standing on his own.
"You over there, identify yourself before coming any closer!" Eula warned him as he approached.
"That voice… the hair color… wait, it's you!" He now pointed a finger accusingly at me.
Seems he remembers me from the first day we tried to leave for Inuzuma.
"You're that girlie that hangs around with him… then that means…!" Childe held a look of disbelief, almost as if he'd just witnessed a miracle.
Then I heard steps coming from behind us.
"Couldn't even make a damn meatball… alright we're here, what did we miss…?!" The birdbrain came to a stop before he made eye contact with the famished man before us.
A moment of silence broke between the two.
"… Childe?"
"… Comrade… comrade!!!" With a loud cry, the ginger man started running for the blonde man.
He completely went around us as he headed for the idiot and Razor.
The scenery resembled a touching reunion. With Tartaglia Childe running in tears trough the sandy beach, the splash of the waves and the cry of the seagull's adding in to the moment.
"I'm saved!" He cried in elation.
As soon as he closed in the distance, the birdbrain extended a hand out and held the marooned man away.
"Yack, you smell."
"Comrade! I thought I was going to starve to death on this island. Oh comrade!" He kept pushing to embrace the idiot.
But the idiot still showed reprimand for the smell.
"I get, I get it. Just try to clean yourself first." Simp asked.
Tartaglia took a step back and activated his Hydro Vision. A small pillar of water encompasses him and started to swirl. Bathing him.
The man produced a Hydro knife and started to shave his facial hair completely. I even saw him swishing some of the water.
What the heck is that man even doing?
I tried to get close to them when I bumped into one of the sand mounds.
"Eek!" Something creeped out when I kicked the sand.
I saw the soulless eyes of dead fish there, about a dozen.
Given the poisonous air, is likely this man has been trying for ways to keep his food fresh, but by the black coloring of these fish, he has failed miserably.
Which begs the question, what makes him think we had it any different?
He sure is about to be greatly disappointed once he finds out we don't have any edible food either.
Soon he finished bathing and faced the dofus.
"Good enough?" He asked.
"Yeah, I guess. Anything in particular you want to eat then?" Birdbrain asked in return.
Did he forget we don't have any food either? That's so like him.
Tartaglia then ran for one of the mounds of sand and dug out a handful of fruits I've never seen before.
He then used his Hydro Vision to clean off the sand from the fruit and ran back to birdbrain.
"How about these berries for now, comrade?" He enthusiastically asked.
Huh? Aren't berries supposed to look yellow, but those are purple—
And as I was pondering that, I found Tartaglia shoving one of those dubious berries inside the birdbrain mouth.
"What the heck are you doing!!?" I screamed at him in outrage.
Those things are poisonous, he could seriously hurt Simp like that.
And then Tartaglia held the birdbrain face on the palm of his hand, and leaned in for a mouth to mouth kiss—
"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TWO DOING!!?" I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Hmm uhmm, humm."
"Uhmm, oh yes, hmm." Moans of delight and pleasure could be heard coming from them.
I don't think I ever felt myself heating up so much from looking at two men kissing. I was feeling something let lose a trigger inside of me.
"How could I not see it all before. Now everything makes sense, why he would have such a delectable princess by his side all the time but would never laid a hand on her."
"Eula, please shut up." I asked of my dear friend.
Then in my most possibly calm manner I addressed the two lovebirds.
"And you two, STEP AWAY FROM EACH OTHERS!!!" I calmly asked.
The doofus, placed a hand on Childe chest and pushed him away. A trail of saliva coming from one mouth to the other as they stood apart.
"Hmm… that berry tastes kinda good. Is it unique to the region?" Dofus said as he popped another dubious berry on his mouth.
"Ah, comrade, that's not fair. Please wait until I have my fill first!" Childe rushed ahead and choked the idiot with one hand before he could swallow the berry.
Then he went in for another forceful kiss—
"I TOLD YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM HIM!!!" This time I pulled out my catalyst, ready to fry that Fatui down to a crisp.
He and birdbrain got into a fight as the later tried to swallow and the former choked him from doing so.
"Stop it Childe. I'm trying to chew here!"
"No way, if it's still inside your mouth then is fair game." And so Tartaglia tried to force himself again over the birdbrain.
Alright, I've seen enough. I'm going to deep-fry that Fatui scum!
But I found my hat blocking my view. Eula had pushed it down my head to stop me from delivering the flames of vengeance.
"Owner, if I'm grasping what's going on here, are you capable of neutralizing the poison?" She asked.
Poison? Oh, right, the poison! I completely forgot about it.
Birdbrain managed to peel Childe off him for good this time and addressed Eula.
"Something like that. My Vision likes to consume parts of me to work, and once it's in my system, poison works too." He said.
According to him next, he just needs to salivate his food enough so he can use it to fuel his Vision. The result is he's left with regular non-poisonous food. He said he uses a trick like this to get rid of his hangovers.
"As expected of owner, I knew something had to be amiss. That scene was about the gayest thing I've ever seen, even by my standards… Then I'm led to believe you knew of a way to combat the poison, but never bothered to share it with the group?" Eula went on to interrogate him on the matter.
"And who said I didn't share it with the group?" He responded, inviting me and Eula to look around ourselves.
The rest of our crew avoided making eye contact with us.
"Wait, hold on a minute, you three knew about this!?" I gasped, feeling betrayed and bamboozled.
Razor cocked his head and was the first to respond.
"Like mother bird feeding her hatchlings." He casually said, like it wasn't bothering him at all.
"I've had it worse." Xiao added.
I can't believe this degeneracy! Have they all been kissing my— the idiot behind my back!?
Wait, but that doesn't makes sense.
"If everyone but Eula and me knew, then how come Mona looks so malnourished?" I demanded an answer.
What's up with that anyways?
"Ah, about that." Birdbrain approached Mona.
He tried reaching for her, but she gave a defiant look and slapped his hand away, only for him to forcefully grab her and take off her hat.
"I've never really bothered to tell her about it. I knew the way this skill works… can be a hard pill to swallow." In the shittiest grin ever, he placed Mona's hat on his head and began to headpat the Astrologer.
I could see Mona's mouth twitching in humiliation.
"She's a seer, there's nothing I can hide from her anyways. She's just making a show out of the irony, by forgetting to practice what she preaches."
"Guh… curse you Innamorato..." Mona whines in shame.
Oh I get it now, she knew what was going on all along but still refused to be fed in that bizarre way.
"Some people here, should know better than to try and defy fate, like they so like to tell others all the time." The jerk pinched Mona's cheeks to make fun of her.
Being honest, if even the fruits on the islands we cross along the way happen to be poisoned like those berries from before, then we will inevitably have to rely on that jerk skill for survival.
"Wait, then that means…" I felt my face heating up again for some reason.
My leg's buckled and I found myself kneeling on the sand.
Does this means I have to be kiss-fed by that man everyday from now on?
"We never where in any danger, really. I just decided to leave you two for the end so the hunger would help me make a more convincing argument." He boorishly explained. "I'm used to getting lost with Childe all the time so I long mastered the way this skill works."
"With my Hydro Vision I can make fresh water everywhere, and he can make almost anything edible." Tartaglia added.
"I'm no fan of my current circumstances either, but I can't exactly leave you to die starving. Now, I guess it's been good week since you had a meal, deer. Let me help you to some of these berries for now." The birdbrain then popped a berry in his mouth and approaches.
"Eh? Wait right now? No wait I'm not ready yet—"
"Excellent idea owner. I was starting to feel peckish myself for some preemptive vengeance! So, take me first!" With a greatly strained smile and an aura of jealousy, Eula stepped in between me and the idiot.
She proceeded to grab Simp shoulders and hold him in a ballet pose, before kissing to more-like-draining the lights out the doofus.
Today under the gaze of this heavily toxic region, I got to kiss that man for the first time.
Part 4
Sometime after. Standing on four by the black sands of the beach.
"Ugh… I gave my first kiss to Innamorato… I feel so defiled..." Cried Mona.
"Ugh… I want to puke… too many mouths to feed on this ship…" Cried the birdbrain, kneeling besides Mona.
After eating for the first time in a week, we sat together on the makeshift camp of Tartaglia to hear what he had to say about our common enemy.
"You crazy bastard, you really came here on your own." The doofus had gotten up and said.
"Hahaha, is like you don't know me at all, comrade. Thought I must admit, I wasn't expecting for things to turn out this way."
Mob Ivory. According to Childe's description, the god of evolution resembles a colossal whale like monster of twenty white eyes.
"I've had seen my fair share of big fish before, but this one takes the cake. Probably as big as this whole island. Equally as hard to kill even."
"I see… something that big and you had nothing to fight against it." Simp said.
"Correct. That and the more I fought it the more it felt like my attacks started doing less and less… So I fled the scene when my Foul Legacy form started running out." Tartaglia said.
He refused to provide any details about this Foul Legacy form he had spoken though.
But I'm starting to get the picture now. To fight something of that magnitude, even a Harbinger would have a hard time.
"So, now that you're here comrade, will you be assisting a fellow friend in his god slaying quest?" He asked with a wink.
Birdbrain seems to ponder about it for a minute, but eventually he shook his head at the idea.
"Childe, I can square up to any man, beast or dragon even, but not a mountain and much less an island." He said.
"Aw common comrade, it could feel like a nice warm up for when you finally come face to face with your lady."
"That is something else entirely. This is a matter of firepower against resilience. Even if she never allowed me to score one strike, my blade could still wound her if I where to make it, but that isn't the case against something so big." Simp says.
Strange though, there's something bugging me with that explanation.
"Isn't the Electro Archon the one who unsealed Mob Ivory to protect her territory?" I asked.
"That's what that girl from the docks said, yes."
"Then what makes you think you can face her when you can't do anything about this other god?" I pressed him.
He drew his katana for a moment and shows it to me.
"In my homeland, there's an story of her excellency cutting down a gigantic creature the size of an island. It now stands as a testament to her power, but that doesn't means it translates to resilience… Take your Archon for example, did you heard he has the form of a dragon, right?"
"Yes…?" I agreed questioningly with him.
I'm not really sure where he's heading with this.
"Well, suppose he had a human form he could take at will, but his real form would still be as a dragon. Do you think he would be as durable in his dragon form as he was in his human form? Or would he become less resilient once he adopt his human side?"
"Hmm… It would make sense he'll be harder to kill as a great dragon than a human. Or there wouldn't be a point to becoming bigger. It would only make him more vulnerable and easy to hit."
"That's correct. Archons are in a way, like a condensed mass of power. Enough to even perform feats like slicing an entire island in half, but human-like bodies can only take so much. While my goddess would need a feat of that magnitude to defeat a god like Orochi given his colossal size, that doesn't means it would take the same to bring her down." He explained.
I think I'm starting to understand it now. He's trying to say that the Electro Archon offensive power isn't the same as her defensive power.
"If she where at the receiving end of a power like that, she would probably die a hundred times over. A human form can condense immense power, enough to obliterate itself many times, but it can only take so much in return. That's why I believe I can face her, but a god the size of Mob Ivory is different. Maybe my goddess could take it on the same way she took down the Orochi, because she might hold a power even more formidable than he does, but I don't have it. I don't think even all of us combined could pull off something like that. Size isn't just for show." He concludes.
Is true that even if we fought it, none of us would be able to wound a creature the size of an island. And that's assuming we don't get obliterated in one of its attacks instead.
But then the ginger man said.
"Which is precisely why we're going to kill it from the inside out." He proposed.
The birdbrain slowly sheathes his katana as he listens.
"That always was my intention from the very beginning, I just didn't have the chance before I had to make my retreat. Quite feisty for a monster that size. Would only open it's mouth to fire a freezing ray and nothing else or keep teleporting all over the place." The Fatui reports.
He informed us more about the fight he had with Mob Ivory.
"Despite it's size, that thing does takes it's defense very seriously. But with you here I think we stand a chance. What say you, comrade?"
Sights* "So, that was weeks ago right? How did you managed to hold on for so long in this venomous island?" Doofus questions Tartaglia.
Now that he mentions it, even if Tartaglia could produce fresh water with his Vision and still survive this long without food, the air is still toxic.
Without an Anemo user like Xiao to cleanse the air, it shouldn't be possible to survive this long.
"Ah… haha… I had an Alexandrite jewel, it was given to me by the Tsaritsa herself. It cleanses any residual substance that's harmful for humans in a twenty meter radius, but it got stolen this morning by a band of Flipping Monkeys."
"Flipping Monkeys?" I had to ask.
Did I just hear him right?
"Yes, Flipping Monkeys. Weird I know, but that's the name given to the species by the explorers who first found them. Bunch of monsters with the ability to link each other's and absorb certain types of damage from their clans members. One of them seems to be devouring the poison from the rest of it's tribe around here, which has lead to them not getting wiped out yet."
"Childe, you mean to tell me a bunch of stupid monkeys, stole something so precious from you?" Birdbrain looked appalled.
"Hehe, sorry, amateur mistake. Hunger was starting to get to me and one of them managed to snatch the Alexandrite away. But now that you're here and I had my fill, we should definitely try and look for it. Then your adepti friend could catch a break." Tartaglia pointed at Xiao.
"I don't need your sympathy." Xiao spoke, sounding a little aggressive.
Childe was the one behind the attack to Liyue Harbor, after all.
I need to be careful with these two or else they might end up fighting. Fatui or not, we could use the power of a Harbinger.
And though it's true Xiao is used to hardship, I don't think he'll be able to keep this up for much longer. Childe's help could prove useful.
"Let's find that jewel, we could use more than one way to keep the poison at bay." I proposed.
"Brilliant idea my princess. Then, I shall scout ahead and find ourselves this Alexandrite. It shouldn't be hard to find a place in the island where the poison is kept at bay." Eula proposed before getting ready to head out.
Weirdly enough, Tartaglia got in her way.
"You might want to bring company for this one."
"Nonsense, wasn't this jewel stolen by mere monkeys, is there more to this?" She inquired with an elegant flick of her hair.
"Individually, they aren't that strong, but their skills makes them a pain to deal with when you're alone and them in group. I only managed because I hold a Vision and a Delusion." He said.
Wonder what this Delusion is that he was talking about?
"Listen to him VK, famished or not this guy is tough. Those monkeys wouldn't have stolen something from him if there wasn't more to them." Doofus reasoned with Eula.
Guess this will be a group effort. Finally the time to test my newfound powers has come. This should be as easy as stealing candy from a mentally challenged samurai.
"Alright, let's pick the teams. Deer."
"Yes…"
"You're with Razor—"
"No way in this lifetime!" I immediately refused my pairing.
"What do you have against the poor Raz you unreasonable creature? He's a good boy you know?"
"Like heck he is! He keeps looking a me strangely like I'm food or something!" I said, pointing out at the wolf boy in particular.
He gave me a look and licked his lips.
"See!? Do you see what I mean!? No way! Uh-uh, I'm not pairing up with him and that's final!"
"But princess, it is only natural to look at you this way." Eula said before giving me a look and then licking her lips.
"I said that was final, Eula. And now I don't want to pair with you either!" I turned my back and crossed my arms.
If she's going to make fun of me then I'm not going to bother talking to her.
"Adorable, Meg if you would please look after this picky deer. You two are in charge of defending the ship cargo from any delinquent monkeys that might show up."
"Yes!" Mona gave a fist pump.
"VK, you and Raz are more familiar with hunting and tracking than anyone here, so we'll be counting on you two the most to find that jewel."
"It's to be expected, it would fall on me to do everything."
"Leave it to me." Eula and Razor affirmed.
"I'm most familiar with Childe and I don't think Xiao needs a partner… We'd probably slow him down anyways. Alright everyone, find me that Alexandrite jewel."
"Wait, hold on a minute, you're going to pair with him?" I asked.
Now that I think about, these two used to be around each other's all the time back in Liyue…
Hearing my inquiry, the two idiots traded a look before grinning, coming closer and hugging each other's provocatively.
"Why, yes deer. Childe and I go way back and we get along just fine."
"Don't worry girlie, I promise to take extra care of him." They jested.
"I don't mean it in that way you pair of clowns. That idiot couldn't remember his way to the bathroom, I'm just worried about him getting lost." I said with attitude.
Did they think I'd buy their sorry act for even a second?
"Oh right, that… but worry not, I'm used to dealing with him, remember?" The Fatui assured.
"Hey, I feel like I'm being insulted here." Someone whines.
And with the parties formed, we split ways on the beach.
Part 5
I tossed a rock into the Black Sea, it's been a whole hour since the others left.
"Would you please stop mopping?" Mona told me.
"But I wanted to go! I wanted to see my new powers now that I have a copy of the Widsith and my constellations maxed. It feels like all I've been defeating lately is the birdbrain and nothing else. And what if something goes wrong?" I want to show I can fight too.
I'm an adeptus, and I practice martial arts on the daily. I can handle a few monkeys.
"Relax, this will be a long trip, everyone will have time to do something. But in the meanwhile let's take it easy and leave the monsters to handle the monkeys." She lazily said.
"Speaking of which Mona, can't you use your powers to see when they come back?"
"Not really, hard to look at anyone from this boat future without seeing mine by accident. I only take bits and pieces to ensure everyone is going to be alright, but I can't exactly go and look up every little thing." A lazy Mona reason's.
Guess she doesn't has it easy either, having to hold back using her powers like that.
"But I wish I could take a sneak peak, maybe I catch a moment in which a Flipping Monkey throws poop at Innamorato." She jested.
Just thinking about it is making me feel sorry for the poor monkey. I can only imagine how well that idiot 'honor' will take to a situation like that.
"'My honor wants to have a word with you, monkey.'" I performed an imitation of the joke-samurai.
"'My honor has never seen such monkey-shit before.'" Mona also added in her imitation.
We soon found ourselves rolling by the sand of the beach. I don't remember the last time my stomach hurt so much from laughing.
"Hahaha haaa… Screw it, this is too good to pass up, I'm looking." Mona finally managed to catch a breath before pulling a scry-screen with her Hydro Vision.
"Ah, wait for me, I wanna see too." I quickly got to her side.
Soon the image starts forming and Mona frowns her brown.
"This is a time when one of those monkeys throws poop at someone, but that looks like… us…?!" Mona suddenly paled.
"Kya!" And she pounced me, causing both our hats to fall off.
As we fell I could spot a black ball moving rapidly from where we once stood. This dubious flying item crashed into the hull of the ship with a splash and left a smell.
"Ew…! That stink's!" I found myself covering my nose.
"Uki ki kiii!" A hairy creature dances and prances from the bushes.
It had blue fur, thin limbs and stood to a terrifyingly two meters tall on his hind legs. Had two big round ears and an extra large fur on the top of its head that resembles a Mohawk.
Likely the Flipping Monkey I keep hearing about.
Having identified an enemy in the vicinity, I stood up together with Mona to initiate our defense.
"That's… not what I was thinking when I heard we where dealing with monkeys." I had the image of a cute little bugger as tall as my knees.
That thing looks even more intimidating than a hilichurl.
It made mock gestures and laughed incessantly at us from the distance.
"It looks like it's only one of them." Mona said and aimed a hand.
The immediate vicinity of the blue Flipping Monkey erupted in a burst of water, leaving a pretty rainbow under the sunlight.
'You got it,' I wanted to say, but I still remember what Tartaglia said about those things.
"As expected." Mona commented when the humid rainbow started to dissipate.
The monkey monster stood straight with both hands on his cheeks, softly caressing its face as if I was insinuating 'Ah, so refreshing.' It was clearly trying to make fun of Mona's attack. Even though a Hydro blow like that should feel like getting struck by a coconut.
"Those monsters can absorb certain types of damage. This one must be the Hydro type, but if it's the only one here then…"
"I got it." That means it has no way to defend against my Pyro attacks. "Try feeling this one!" I said and hurled a fireball it's way.
The best of my Pyro control lies not in pure firepower, but in it's homing characteristics. Once I lock onto an enemy I rarely miss my attacks.
My fireball traveled halfway the distance between us and the monkey and then performed an instant U turn…
"Huh… Eek!" I quickly crouched under the incoming fireball.
Never had I seen it acting like that when I turned around and…
I found a terrifyingly two meters tall, red Flipping Monkey with my hat in one hand and Mona's hat in the other.
The thing had it's cheeks puffed and smoke coming out it's mouth.
Gulps*
It swallowed my fireball.
"Uki ki kiiii!" The monkey gave a battle cry and rushes towards us.
I dashed out of the way, same as Mona when the red monkey passed by and continued for where the blue one hides.
"That poop-hurling primate it's trying to steal my hat!!"
"Ah, wait Mona don't go, it's a trap!" I called out.
Mona dived into the ground like a jet stream with her Hydro vision, and she set after the monkeys.
I chased after her.
Just when we thought we where only dealing with one, another monkey manages to sneak right behind our back's and whiteout us noticing. Now even when they clearly have the elemental advantage, they're taking off with our stuff and heading deeper into the island, instead of facing us.
It reeks of an ambush.
Running with all my might I manage to catch up to Mona, she was hitting the monkeys relentlessly with her attacks, but the blue one was devouring everything with no other inconvenience but a round gut.
Looking at the scene from behind I felt my hair standing to no end, there was a third Flipping Monkey now.
It was yellow, had a strange necklace made of bones and a staff adorned in black feathers. But the most terrifying thing about it was that I found it tiptoeing behind Mona.
It likely took shelter behind the trees to catch her off-guard and knock her out.
I lost not a second to materialize my stamp over the yellow monkey head. Let's see how it likes it when someone else surprise-bonks him instead.
"Hah!" I let my attack fall on its head.
The monkey hadn't even the time to blink when a bright burst of light formed over its Mohawk.
My attack was canceled and a became a torrent of flames that danced all the way to the red monkey mouth.
"Oooh aaah aaah?" The yellow monkey turned on his back.
This must be what that Fatui meant about the monkey individuals linking up with the rest of the tribe. They can cancel enemy attacks so long as there's a corresponding monkey type in the vicinity.
The red monkey swallowed my fire and farted flames, before going on to lampoon me for having failed my sneak attack.
"Yanfei, get out of here and bring help. We need either Eula or Xiao to deal with these ones! I'll hold the primates back until your return!" Mona assured me.
So brave. She must have great confidence in her skills if she's planning to hold back three huge monkeys by herself and with one of her own element.
Then I noticed the blue monkey standing funny. It's knees buckled and his hand holding back his crotch. It's belly looked so round that it gave the impression it was about to burst.
In a snappy manner, the monkey stood up straight and jerked back his head, causing its Mohawk to flow back before letting out a stream coming from in-between the legs.
"Kyaaaaaa!!!" Mona freaked out and dived into her jet-stream thingy to avoid getting hit by the yellow liquid.
The blue monkey jumped and latched onto a three vine.
"Oooooh ooohhh oooooh ooh ooooooh!" It gave a king of the jungle cry as it swung by.
A trail of piss falling from his crotch as it swung chasing Mona.
"Eek! Stop you vulgar monkey!! Yanfei help me, this ape wants to ruin me forever!!" She cried for help.
Leaping across trees, swinging between vines, summersaulting, spinning in the air like a windmill from the jumps. Piss sprayed everywhere, coming after and even cutting Mona's escape route sometimes.
Periodically, silly water figurines would be left behind Mona's passing stream and be pissed over intently by the blue monkey, but not too late would he realize the ruse and come after the real deal.
I'm feeling so lucky to be far away from their battle.
"Oook ook ukiah!" The yellow monkey screamed at me.
He reminded me I was dealing with a battlefield of my own.
There's no way Mona can hold these three by herself, I need to take at least one down.
The yellow monkey raised its staff of feathers and charges at me. Throttling undignified and savage-like.
It's swing came aimed at my head, but I dashed right below it, my leg extended back for a strong kick.
"Hmmp!" I delivered, a kick to it's nuts.
"Ooogioooook!" It winced in quiet pain as every vein in it's body pops up and his lower jaw sticks out.
But I wasn't done yet.
Bringing back my foot, I stomped down hard and built impulse.
"Haaah!" I launched up and delivered a vicious headbutt to the monkey hairless chin.
It felt on its back, dropping the feather staff it had, but rolled again to its feet in no time.
These things are tougher than I was expecting.
"Yanfei, help—Eep!" Mona desperately cried for help, stopping right before a passing piss stream aiming to catch her escape route.
I need to assist her now that I managed to stun my adversary.
I gathered a large quantity of fire in the palm of my hand, stood on one leg whilst raising the other and pitched it at one of the tree vines.
This time I made sure to take away the homing properties of my fireball in order to target the vine whence the monkey was supporting himself with.
My fireball burned trough and flied a little bit before making a sharp turn down and heading for the mouth of the red monkey, but with nothing to hang from, the blue pissing monkey started to flap in the air like a flightless bird and fall.
It's round belly bounced in the ground with a blam, completely knocking the air out of him.
"Ah, I'm saved! Finally it's over!" Mona said as she found her way besides me.
"Nows not the time to take a break, this is your chance to take out the red one!" I hurried.
Mona eyes widened for a moment before remembering the one monkey who had both our hats.
She soon traced an arc over the air and strange shapes of water resembling the moon, sun and starts formed over the head of the red monkey.
"Look out!" I shouted.
The yellow monkey swung its staff at Mona.
A large splash of water blinded me from seeing what happened for a moment.
When the water settled down I found the staff of feather's cutting trough one of Mona's water decoy's.
The yellow monkey only just realized it had been tricked when it felt the pain.
Below him a peculiar water pond had formed, and from it comes up a lady leg clad in high heel, which clashed with the yellow monkey hairy bits.
"Ooohgg…" I could almost hear a ding sound when the monkey knees buckled.
My chance!
I materialized the Widsith and charged at the yellow monkey. Even with the red one active I can still do this.
"Secret art. Adepti Chop!" I brought down the spine of the book on the monkey lice-infested cranium.
The blow left a satisfying pok sound and the yellow monkey eyes rolled to the back of his head.
"Ha! Take that!" I flashed my pretties smile in celebration.
Finally a victory that doesn't involves an idiot acting out of line.
"Yanfei behind you!" I heard.
Then I felt a large, rough hand land on my shoulder, and I felt my entire body stiffen in response.
Turning up my head until I could see behind me, I noticed a tall red monkey wearing two hats and overshadowing me completely.
"Oookiaaaa!!!"
"Guhack!!!" The air left my lungs.
The moment I tried turning around the red monkey drove an uppercut to my belly.
The food the birdbrain fed me now rushed to my throat, and I saw myself flying across the air.
"Yanfei!!!" I numbly heard Mona.
The sensation from my body cut completely for a moment and the sound wouldn't register.
I was rolling over the sand and blackened leaves of the forest. Mona and the red monkey began fighting in the distance. I must've traveled over fifteen meters from that blow.
"Aaagh!!!" Only pain started to register again.
I hunched into fetal position and held my stomach. Looking down on it, the skin had turned blue from the blow.
I let my guard down just because I got a little cocky.
Where I a normal human, that could've been…
I blackened out.
Part 6
The world stayed black when sound started to reach my ears.
"…" I heard a voice I know, but I couldn't make what it was saying.
"Yanfei!" The voice of Mona called.
Ah, I remember now, I can still feel the pain in my stomach even. I was knocked out.
"Yanfei! Are you okay!!?" Now I could hear everything clearly.
I buried my fingers on the dirt and pushed myself to stand.
I was hunched over in pain and my legs felt weak, but I still managed to hold up.
Before me stood Mona, trying to shield me from the monkeys.
All three monkeys had gotten up now. The yellow one even had a strange golden hue which resembles a layer of Geo Armor.
"Thank the stars you're alright. Listen, don't try to fight, I just need you to stick close to me. These bastard have been trying to come after you ever since you got knocked out."
While I passed out, it seems the blue monkey recovered and together with the red one, they've been trying to finish me while I was down, forcing Mona to defend me.
Eventually even the yellow monkey recovered and casted a Geo Armor over himself.
Mona finished briefing me on the situation.
"There's no way they'll let us get away now, we need to hold on together until help arrives." She said.
"Understood." I nodded and took out my catalyst.
Or at least I tried.
"Huh, where's the Widsith?" I tried materializing it, but nothing happened.
It was then that I noticed the red monkey flicking trough the pages of a book.
Sweat rolled down my face.
The monkey caught me looking in interest and pointed a finger at the Widsith.
"Uhu?" Yours?
I assume he said.
Then the red monkey turned on his back and brought down the book to his hairless ass—
"STOP!!!"
He didn't stop, and wiped his filthy butt with the pages.
"NOOOO!!! That's an R5 Widsith copy! Stop you monster!!!" The tears wouldn't stop coming and I fell to my knees in despair.
To give it the finishing touch, the monkey leaks flatulence over the pages and tosses the Widsith aside with a sigh of satisfaction.
It is now lost forever.
"I'm going to kill that Mohawk wearing furball!" My blood boiled.
But the monkeys made their move first. The yellow one finished casting an incantation and sent a strange silver wave our way.
"Behind me!" Mona produced a Hydro Curtain to block the wave.
But strangely, it couldn't stop it.
The wave hit us clean yet I felt like nothing happened.
That wasn't an attack, it can't be. If it was, Mona would have been able to block it with her Hydro Curtain.
When it comes to elemental energy, the denser the concentration the easier it is to resist it. That attack could only be a sort of debuff if it managed to pass right trough Mona's defense.
As I was examining myself for side effects, I noticed I was enveloped in a red flame.
My Brilliance aura had started to leak out when a sudden spray of flames erupted from my body.
That monkey, he set my Pyro Vision out of control.
"Kya! Hot hot hot!" I heard cries besides me.
"Eh…? Mona!" My uncontrolled power has hit my ally.
She quickly used her power to put off the flames and was left steaming in place.
"What was that for!!?" She roared in anger at me.
"I'm sorry, I swear it wasn't my intention!" I apologized.
Still, not only my aura and flames, but my seals and even a diamond-shaped Pyro energy shield had formed.
That silver wave is causing my power to leak out… It's making me feel exhausted from using so much power.
And then, I only had time to blink before a huge water bubble with constellations designs, formed from Mona. It caught on my Pyro shield and lifted me off the ground.
"W-what is going on here!?" A confused Mona ask.
"We need to keep our distance, our powers are out of control…!" I said before I caught something from the corner of my eyes.
Running with his arms flailing behind like a sort of ninja. The rotund belly blue Mohawk monkey came heading straight for me.
"Ugiah giah iaaahh!" It launched himself on a belly tackle.
The moment he made contact with my shield, Mona's bubble bursts like a bomb and sent me flying.
"Yanfei!!"
I hit one of the trees behind me with great force, shattering the shield around my body to pieces. If it wasn't for the shield that attack would've meant the end of me for real, adepti or not.
But I was fine this time, so I got up as fast as I could.
"I'm fine! Focus on defending from the…?" My hand started glowing.
I aimed it at one of the trees nearby and caused it to combust into flames. Flames that where soon turned into a current and devoured by the red monkey.
I noticed a black eye and a few cuts healing from his body.
I see, they not only cancel enemy attacks, they even heal from them.
Because we had stopped using our Visions to fight, the yellow monkey set our powers haywire in order to weaken us while helping its tribesmen heal.
But something was strange, the blue monkey was in pain. Agonizing as steam comes out of its body.
"…Huh?" Then it clicked me.
The yellow monkey tried to attack Mona using his staff of feathers again, and was duped with a decoy one more time. The blue monkey just managed to calm down and opened his mouth, he was getting ready to devour Mona's decoy and use it to heal himself.
I had four seals ready which I spent with not a second thought, and a huge stamp-anvil forms over Mona's decoy, before crushing it.
"W-what!?" Mona seemed confused by the action.
But the monkey was already sucking in the water, the now boiling water with all it's steam.
"Ukiaaaaaaaa!!!" His cries of pain resounded vividly.
It soon bent over and started to suck in large breaths of air before collapsing with steam coming out of its face, mouth, nose and ears.
Vapor, steam, boiling water, those monkeys can absorb the elemental damage from others, but they cannot regulate what they eat.
It ended up cooked from the inside out.
"Mona!"
"I know!"
The Astrologer lost not a second to conjure a huge water sphere. Her power being lose from the spell of the yellow monkey, only made the water ball she hurled even meaner.
The yellow monkey blinked and when he opened his eyes, his red friend had been struck and sent buried to a tree tenth meters behind.
My hat and Mona's fell nicely in the ground where the red monkey once stood.
"UGIAAAAH!!!" The yellow monkey. gave a deafening bark and tried to run away with the tree branches.
"Oh no you don't!" I said.
A fireball gathered in the palm of my hand and I took position, before pitching the ball at the monkey.
The fireball made a clean hit on the back of the monkey, knocking him down the trees and causing sparks to fly out as it clashed with the Geo Armor.
"Come Illusory Phantom of Fate!" Mona produce another one of her water decoys.
Oh, so that's what those cute little things are called.
The Phantom appeared right under the falling monkey and exploded, launching the monkey airborne again from the blow. Sparks flying out again as the Geo Shield still persisted.
"Boom boom!" I followed the air combo with an implosion of my flames.
Next we bombarded the airborne monkey using my fireballs and Mona's water gun.
"Kiiiiii!" The monkey cried amidst the incessant attacks, fearing for his life should the armor cave in.
But even among the cloud of steam surrounding the monkey, the cracks on the Geo Armor where visible.
"Time for the finishing blow!" Mona gave the command.
We stopped our barrage of light attacks and focused. The monkey began falling again and hits the ground.
Above his head formed three Hydro shapes resembling the moon, sun and stars.
It descended piercing down like a stalactite and clashed with the back of the monkey, where the Geo Armor was at its weakest.
Now it was my turn.
All four of my seals spent and above the monkey and the Ripple of Fate, formed my Seal of Approval. A large stamp like fiery shape with a Xiezhi formed atop it.
Or a deer anvil as the air-minds like to call it.
It descended furiously and like hammer hitting nail, it hit Mona's own attack and drove it trough the yellow Monkey Geo Armor and then some.
The stamp impact caused the ground to shake a little and then both our attacks dispersed in a cloud of steam.
The last monkey had been defeated.
"… we… we won!!" I jumped in the air.
"Hmmp! That'll teach those vulgar creatures to throw feces at the great Astrologer, Mona Megistus." Mona looked down on our enemies.
Yes! Finally a victory I can brag about to the idiot without having to hear him whining about burnt hair.
I could barely contain my desire to jump in celebration.
"Still, is a shame these ones weren't carrying around the Alexandrite… Let's head back for now, it's been an hour and half since the others left. It's about time we gather on the boat and take the antidotes." Mona mentioned.
Oh right, I remember now. Since Xiao had to leave our side in order to search for the gem, we've been breathing the poison air all this while.
"You're right Mona, let's head back and drink the antidote Eula made… Mona…?" I found her frozen in place, staring at the tree tops.
Something in the trees, was scaring her, and I feared looking myself.
Five, nine, thirteen, sixteen. Sixteen Flipping Monkeys where glaring at us from the tree branches.
All of different fur colors, and one in purple which resembles more a gorilla than a monkey.
"Oooh, oooh oooh." The gorilla seemed to say to his tribe.
"Wait, right there around the big one neck!" Mona pointed.
A dark red gem sticking from a gold chain. Only now did I realize how the air has stopped smelling sweet. That gem must be the Alexandrite, but.
"Aaaah oooh."
"Ukiki ki."
"Ooooh." The monkeys didn't look happy to see what we did with their friends.
Mona stood her ground in preparation. I know what she's thinking, that there's no way we could outrun these monsters even if we tried, better not to turn our backs on them.
She seems so determined, I wish I could have the same faith she has in our fate.
I wish that idiot was here to save me.
The Flipping Monkeys started to agitate and began climbing down from the tree branches. Only one that went up in the air when something made a whistle.
It caught everyone's present attention. The light blue monkey flying into the air had a large sword of light piercing on its abdomen.
It took him far high before the sword burst in an explosion of light that trimmed the tree tops.
The air started to feel cold coming from my right side. A girl of short blue hair came holding a shining claymore.
"Who, did this to you?" Her shilling voice asked.
I felt her eyes land on my stomach, the part where the red monkey had punched me in particular, it had left a mark.
I raised a hand at the monkeys, causing all the monsters to shake their heads at me and then back at Eula.
The frost in the air reached shivering degrees.
"And for that sin, my dear beasts. Vengeance will be mine."
Part 7
The purple gorilla reached behind his back, pulling a giant scutum shield and a club resembling a piece of a tree trunk.
Behind him one of the yellow monkeys casted a Geo Armor on the gorilla, his shield and club.
The gorilla then jumped down from the tree and ended his fall smashing the ground right where Eula had stood just a second before.
Of the remaining fourteen monkeys, not counting the gorilla, six also brought up their own weapons and prepared to fight while the rest where starting to climb down the trees.
"Stand back, I'll take it from here." Eula assured she had things under control.
Two red monkeys and one blue amongst the group, even if Mona and I wanted to help we would only make things worse.
At least Eula took out the only monkey that seemed to match her element before the battle even started.
As expected of her, always so reliable.
The monkeys tried to strategically surround Eula, but she caught them by surprise when she made her move first, going after a green Flipping Monkey from their formation.
The gorilla rushes over to cover his clansmen with the scutum shield, but Eula let herself fall on her sprint and slides right in-between the gorilla legs, followed by bringing up her claymore and cleaving the green monkey in half, then spinning on her heels and landing a heavy blow on the gorilla's back.
She probably knows it's going to take time to shave away at the Geo Armor, which is why she must've targeted another monkey first.
The gorilla turns back while swinging the club, but Eula rises her blade and deflects the blow, sending it upwards, followed by another attack at the gorilla, but he brought the scutum in time to block and Eula was forced to back-dash before the rest of the monkeys could get to her.
This isn't looking good, they're ganging up on her, I need to find a way to assist her somehow but I can't do anything without a weapon and with the red monkeys around.
I scanned the battlefield for something I could do, there was only one blue monkey around and it was up the trees. Mona was busy attacking the monkeys over there but unless we take the blue one down, all she can do is stall them so they don't come down to harass Eula.
Then I noticed one of the red ones heading for me.
I remember now, these things where trying to come after me when I was down, they must have an inkling to think I'm the weakest link.
"You wanna go pal? Come at me!" I challenged and took a stance.
The monkey brakes on the ball of his feet's and came to an abrupt stop.
It made a quiet snort with his chin sticking out.
Oh, so these things really do look down on me.
It next took an unbalanced stance resembling a drunkard.
Fine you stinky fur-ball, I'll show you what I learned from granny!
I launched a fireball at his face, as one of the red monkeys he'll have no trouble with that attack, but I can still use it as a way to blind him.
His hand swung by with an over fist, his response was to cover as much area as possible with his hit.
I lowered myself and adopted the Pu Bu crouching stance, effectively dodging the monkey swing while preparing to launch my counter attack.
Memories of training with granny flowed back to me.
'Child, do not use martial arts as a excuse to deny your own limitations. If your sworn enemy just so happens to double you in size, then your fight is with THEIR DICKS!!!' Granny wise words reminded.
My fluffy red boots lit completely on fire. If this monkey can heal by eating Pyro based attacks then I'll introduce him to my flames point-blank before he can swallow.
I stood up launching a strong right-kick, crushing and cooking the monkey balls from the blow, before following with a spin left-kick backflip, nailing the lower jaw of the ape and leaving a searing boot mark upon it.
In a perfectly practiced motion my flames put off and I landed on my feet after completing the spin, then opened my eyes to find a large monkey hand grabbing me by the leg.
"Ehhh!!? Wha-why!!?" I was left hanging upside down when the monkey pulled me up.
Hanging upside down by a leg, I came face to face with the subject of my right-kick in question. I noticed it had gained some vigor since I kicked it.
Seems Pyro energy can only heal or invigorate these red monkeys, no matter which way you try to hit them with it.
'FOOL!!!' The memory of granny facepalmed and vanished with a puff.
And after she told me combat wasn't the place to be experimenting with new moves.
The healing from my flames canceled the blows I landed.
I should've just used normal kicks instead and I would have won.
But I wanted to try that spin flame-kick so much!
Then the monkey pulled on my other leg and tried to split them apart.
"Aaaaaaahhh!!!" I cried when it felt like I was gonna be torn in two.
Not a moment sooner the monkey stopped pulling and I fell head first on the ground.
"Ouch!" I cried.
Looking back up I saw the red monkey had been beheaded and blood was gushing out his neck.
"Eula!" My savior had come.
Looking over to her side, from the monkey mob I noticed one has been frozen and broken down to pieces while two others got cut in half.
The gorilla and the rest found themselves slipping on ice. Eula must have made so in order to buy enough time to come and help me.
But she… she was winning all by herself!? She didn't need my help!?
"Are you alright, my princess?" She asked, not even breaking a sweat yet.
Over by the trees a yellow monkey shot a silver wave, his finger aimed at me and Eula.
"Eula look out!" I tried to push her out of the way.
She doesn't know what those strange waves do, and instead of letting herself be pushed away she caught me in her embrace and turned her back on the wave.
She shielded me with her body.
"Eula… you…"
"Sh, everything is going to be fine now that I'm here." She assured me.
But she doesn't know, so I pushed her away.
"No, you don't get it, we need to stay away from…" Before I could finish, the Cryo Vision on Eula cape shone brightly.
I fell on my butt as a large ice claymore materialized right in between us, and shot rapidly for my head.
It felt like time slowed as I saw the ice blade headed for me.
I was about to die. I was going to die.
But when I closed my eyes, nothing happened.
"Guhk…!" I heard a grunt.
I opened my eyes to find Eula gritting her teeth as she caught the guard of the ice blade, and stopped its trajectory right as the tip was about to dig in between my eyes. Her high heels hag dug a small trail on the ground from the force of her resistance.
"I told you didn't I? Everything will be alright now..." She said before turning on her back.
With force I've never seen before she swings the ice blade, tracing an arc in the air against the Flipping Monkeys.
"Flood of frost!"
The ice blade turned into dust of a blizzard as she swung it. Like a storm and a wave at the same time— it swallowed the gorilla and everyone else from it's tribe all the way with the trees behind them.
A cone of frost, white trees, snowflakes and frozen monkeys was what's left in the general direction of the monsters.
A power so terrifying yet pretty. Just like it's owner.
Part 8
"Enemy neutralized." Eula said with a flick of her hair after straightening her pose.
So this is the result when Eula power gets out of control.
She really is the strongest.
But before we could celebrate, I heard cracks coming from the ice sculpture that was the frozen gorilla. The shine of gold coming from underneath the ice must've shielded him from Eula attack.
"Oooooogaaahhh!!!" It broke out roaring and brought its club on the frozen ground.
The blow sent crack's that shattered everything around him and was felt in a small tremor even where we were standing.
The monkeys from the ground were freed from their ice prison while the ones atop the tree not as lucky. They fell and broke to pieces back when Eula Flood of Frost first hit.
Their number now down to only seven, but Eula was starting to have trouble breathing.
That huge attack must've exhausted her.
"Everything is fine, this won't take a minute…" She assured before her eyes turned sharp and she charged at the gorilla.
The monkeys tried to flee away from her but the gorilla ran up to me her head-on.
The monster brought down its gigantic club as Eula glides sideways on the ice, before halting her momentum and bringing her blade fiercely down against the ape forearm.
The blow was cut short on the glow of the Geo Armor, shooting a spray of gold sparks, but the impact still shook the monster arm, and caused him to drop the club it was wielding.
However before Eula could follow up with her offensive, the gorilla countered with a shield strike, using the edge of the scutum.
"Agh!" Eula barely had time to block the attack.
It sent her sliding back with her high heels digging at the cold ground beneath.
No, this isn't fine. I know how difficult it can be to fight after having expelled so much power out like that. I have to help her somehow.
The monkeys. If all the red ones where taken down during Eula previous attack then I should be able to help.
While Eula continues her fight with the gorilla, I heard steps coming from besides me.
A red monkey holding a trident was approaching silently. Seems there still was one around.
This one It had chosen to come after me instead of supporting it's leader in combat. But it only came closer the moment Eula left my side.
This one must be thinking it can use me as a hostage to overcome Eula.
"Resorting to playing dirty huh? Then don't cry when you get a taste of your own medicine!" I threatened.
Pyro cancelling monkey or not, he still has one universal weakness I can exploit.
His dick.
In preparation for combat, I locked eyes with the monkey crotch and found nothing there.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Uha…?" What?
I assume the monkey had asked this.
Looking closely at this red monkey in particular, it has braids instead of a Mohawk, a voluptuous figure and a well endorsed chest…
"…" I felt the cold sweat running down my back.
Oh no, this isn't a he-monkey but a she-monkey.
It has no dick, no weakness.
It is invincible.
"This is soooo unfair!!!" I cried, swallowing my pride before turning on my heel and sprinting for dear life.
This is bull, this is such a bull! Of all the enemies I could face and it had to be the one born to counter everything I could use to bring it down.
'And remember child, should your sworn enemy happen to be a female twice your size, well... Remember I trained your legs for something.'
"Shut it, granny!" I shook away my stupid memories.
"Ugiaaaa! Oooh oooh oooh!" The she-monkey barked aiming a trident at me.
Curses, I'm not fast enough, she's right behind my tail—
"Kya!" I crashed right into a tree trunk while I was looking behind me.
Looking back I saw the monkey thrusting her trident.
"Eek!" I curved my hips just in time to dodge the thrust and rushed to get out of— "Eak!" And I tripped again.
What have I done to deserve this!?
I turned on my back and tried to crawl away, but the monkey didn't have trouble catching up.
I saw her aiming her trident at my legs, she was looking to incapacitate me she could use me and I wouldn't be able to run away.
And right as she was about to strike me, like a salmon coming out the water, someone jumped out of a pond below the monkey, and grabbed the trident.
It was Mona!
Where has she been all this while…
I noticed frost bits around her hair and iced brows…
Now that I remember, she was busy trying to stall the Flipping Monkeys on the trees so they couldn't get down to assist the others.
The reason I haven't seen her since… did she get caught on Eula blizzard attack from before?
Soon as she grabbed the trident, gravity did its thing and Mona fell back in the pond where she came from, jerking the trident out the hands of the surprised Flipping Monkey.
Before the monster could realize what had just happened, the pond of water stretched a few steps back and out of it came a thrust of the trident. It dug deeply on the monkey butt.
"OKIAAAA!!!" It cried, jumping into the air.
I saw the monkey land on the pond of water Mona had left behind, sinking all the way to her waist where she got caught.
An opportunity!
I rolled on my back and jumped back to my feet, before dashing for the monkey waist deep on the small pond of water, and launched a kick barrage at it.
Right, heel, low, right, spinning kick, axe, left, heel, heel, right, left, heel, axe!
Making use of the opportunity I managed to land thirteen hits before I could spot the monkey eyes rolling to white.
"Yes! Haha, take that you stinky monkey!" I jumped in celebration.
That one was the last of the red monkeys, now I can finally begin fighting for real.
With the elegance of a dolphin, Mona came out of the small pond of water and stood wielding a trident next to me.
"Excellent teamwork, now help me take down the last remaining— Guh!" Mona grunts.
Behind her came a tall blue Flipping Monkey and grabbed the trident, pulling it up against his body and Mona neck, catching her on a chokehold.
Mona right hand produced a shining bubble of water and she fired it over her shoulder, hitting the monkey right in his it's face but it was ineffective.
She probably just realized afterwards that it was the last blue monkey that had caught her.
Mona started fighting and kicking, trying to force her way out of the hold. The monkey turned his back on me as it tried to hold onto her.
An opening to strike!
Now that all red monkeys where down for the count, nothing can stop me from wielding the Pyro element as it was meant to be.
And even better, I looked closely at this one monkey in particular, and it's a male.
My red boots caught on fire.
From behind, I delivered a burning kick to the monkey privates, destroying and frying his manhood in one single blow.
"Oookioooh…" It's tail stood straight and it didn't even have the strength left to yell.
The monster arms loosened and his legs wobbled, releasing Mona and was about to fall on his face.
But Mona spun on her heels as soon as she landed and delivered an upward kick to the monkey jaw, sending it back to his feet. Denying him rest.
I followed the combo by landing another flaming kick to the apehood.
"Hhgg…" A weak groan left the Flipping Monkey as he began to fall back on his face.
"Hmmp!" An angry Mona kicked him on the face again and back on his feet he went.
"Hyah!" And his groin I kicked once more, back to land on his face he goes.
The monkey legs shut down completely and he bent down in place, just missing Mona's kick by a little which saved him from our vicious cycle.
He found his merciful rest.
"That's the last of the blues, time to put an end to this!" Mona sunk on a small pond of water and shot for Eula side at mind boggling speed.
"Ah, wait— wait for me!" I started sprinting for the battlefield.
But when I looked, Eula had only the gorilla left to deal with.
The purple leader of the Flipping Monkeys now showed wounds and tears around his arms, legs and a side of his face. The Geo Armor seems to be long gone and the damage he was sustaining now was severely real.
Eula despite being soaked in sweat, still got by without a scratch.
Mona jumped out the pond besides her and they traded a look.
Please leg's go faster! I want to show I can help too—
"Fate is upon you."
"Shudder!" Mona and Eula combined their attacks.
A small flood bathed the gorilla feet and froze him in place. It tried to free himself by smashing his club wildly and violently on the frozen ground, but to no avail.
Eula sunk her claymore on the ground and produced the small hilt of a light sword, which grew in size until it became a claymore of light.
She glides along the ice, approaching the captured gorilla monster.
Seeing the incoming assault the gorilla brought his club over his left shoulder and swung horizontally till his club ended behind his back, but Eula had jumped overhead.
"Glacial Illumination." She drove the greatsword down, piercing the club, the ice and then ground, nailing each together with the claymore of light.
Eula landed on the trunk of the club and backflips overhead the gorilla again as he tried to catch her, moving in the ice with a skiing retreat.
The claymore started shining brighter and then exploded in a burst of blinding light. Upheaving the ground and punching against the gorilla monster with such force that he was sent flying right besides a stationary Eula.
A clearing formed in the middle of the forest by the explosion and ice shards rained everywhere.
Soon when all calmed down, Eula held up a dark red gem hanging from a gold chain.
"All in a day's work."
Part 9
The sea breeze caressed my hair, as the nameless island we now refer to as Monkey Island, now stayed farther and farther away trough the horizon.
"Beaten, burned, frozen solid and a Flipping Monkey tried to pee on me, and yet you had the gall to just be wandering around doing nothing in the meantime!!?" Mona was busy chewing at the birdbrain ears.
"I mean, I gave you two the task of sitting this one out precisely so this wouldn't happen. And what else did you want me to do, magically show up out of nowhere?" The samurai-who-never-showed tried to reason.
"Well, you better do it next time!" I took Mona side on this argument.
According to the idiot, he and his Fatui friend did nothing but walk around the island scaring away the monkeys.
Tartaglia had history with those things, and seeing him walking around fully recovered was enough for them to sound the alarm and vacate the premises.
Likely the reason three of those monsters found their way to our boat in the first place—
"This is one hundred percent you idiots fault! Apologize to Mona and me right now!" Now it all makes sense.
These two caused a displacement at the heart of the monster territory that nearly the whole tribe found their way to us.
"Is you two who decided to chase the monkeys deeper into the island. Any halfwit would had just ran inside the ship and locked the door with key."
"Ha-halfwit, me…!? Oh my stars Innamorato, your ass must be jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth!" Mona attacked the unrepentant idiot.
The only reason we survived was because Eula told Razor to continue the search while she went back to check on us.
I have no sympathy for the man who nearly gets us killed with his ignorance.
"I don't really get what the big deal is all about, the deer can just call on Xiao when she's in danger and he'll pop up whiting a secon—"
"How dare not come to our rescue!? Jerk!" I hastily accused and insulted.
"Yeah!!" It seems Mona didn't catch on.
What a relief.
I was so caught up on acing my first real battle since this journey started that I completely forgot to call Xiao when things went south.
Sniff, sniff* "Food girl smell's nervous." Razor found me out.
"H-hey you step back! Shoo! No sniffing me or coming anywhere near me! Back off!" I chased him away before my terrible blunder was revealed.
While I was doing so, Xiao received the Alexandrite from Tartaglia who was inspecting it, and tied it around the mast if the ship.
It didn't cover the entire thing but other than the end corners, everything else was now safe from the air poisoning.
For the first time since we entered Mob Ivory's territory, Xiao was able to shut down his power.
I saw him falling to his knees in relief. Razor came up to lend him a shoulder.
Tartaglia shook in laugher as Mona continued her rant at the birdbrain, who refused to be accused for something he didn't do.
There was only one of us that wasn't present, she was our trusty captain, and was busy steeling the ship right now.
I climbed the stairs and headed for the wheel of the ship.
"Oh, princess. What pleasant surprise brings you here?" She asked with a sweet smile.
I walked up to her, stood on my tiptoes and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"P-p-princess!?" She turned red like a tomato.
This has been the second time she has come to my rescue. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here to enjoy this peace, this quiet and tranquil moment with all of our friends.
With my hands laced behind my back and the best smile I could muster I told her.
"Eula… you're the best!"