Ah, it's good to be back! I have to apologize for being terrible at updating. I worked on this chapter for 3 months and didn't know what to do with it or where to go. On top of that, I have been working 50 hours a week...so forgive me lack of updates :( I know I'm horrible! To make up for it, however, I wrote you an extra long update and will attempt to get the next couple of chapters done so I can move on to the next movie. I also want to give a shout out to kililuv, who inspired me to quickly get back into writing these chapters. I literally wrote 14 pages in about 3 hours just so I could get this one up for you all. I'm going to immerse myself back into this story. I'll have no life and will ignore all responsibility lol I truly love all my reviewers and followers. You are what inspire me to write!
So without further delay, here it is! Chapter 14!
The first coherent thought was that my head really fucking hurt. My second thought was what the hell was that awful rumbling in my ear? The loud noise had awoken me out of whatever slumber I was in. With a groan I shifted so I could bring my hand to my head that was pounding hard enough to escape my skull. Unfortunately I couldn't move my hand because it was mysteriously caught underneath something hard. I used my other hand to push against this heavy...thing and suddenly it was shifting next to me. It was then that I realized that this was a person laying beside me.
My eyes snapped open and I came face to face with Fili who was peacefully sleeping at my side...on my bed...
I froze. My body refused to move. I couldn't even breathe. Holy sweet mother of Arda. Time literally stopped as I looked upon his face. My eyes scanned the plans of of features as the soft glow of the morning sun touched his skin. His dirty blonde hair sprawled against the pillows in various positions. Some strands stuck adorably awkward to his face while the rest was tamed enough to not smother him. His beard, on the other hand, was perfectly in place. Even in sleep, the famous dwarvish beards stayed just as it should.
He looked completely content to just lay there and look like a Dwarven God. Like Aule himself had plucked a soul from deep within the mountains and produced a perfect specimen.
I had to shake my head of the thoughts and pulled myself away from him as carefully as I could. How did we end up like this? I didn't even remember how we had fallen asleep.
Oh. wait. That's right! The memory of what had happened last night came back, bringing with it the heat that was unmistakably a blush on my face. I glanced down at our bodies and was relieved to see that I still had my clothes on. Fili had managed to get off his shoes and tunic, leaving his pants and undershirt on. Though the shirt was mostly unbuttoned. My eyes immediately came to the curls of chest hair that was protruding from beneath the linen.
The heat on my face only burned more and I tore my eyes away to look toward the window. What exactly had happened? We obviously didn't...do the deed, so why did I not remember the remainder of last night?
Okay. So Fili and I did not have any sort of sex. Thank Aule for that. It was the dumbest idea I had ever had. I thought if I offered myself up to him he would shut his trap and forget about me almost letting the cat out of the bag. He was one determined dwarf. He knew there was something I wasn't telling him and took it as a threat instead of me just trying to protect him. Gods he was intolerable sometimes. I blame the blood. Damn dwarves. They were so easily angered.
A breeze poured into my bedroom, rolling the sheer curtains from the balcony and I sighed at the cool touch. It calmed my racing mind. I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. I should have just told him to bugger off or hid myself in one of the corridors until he was gone.
The only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of there before he woke up. That was a task that seemed harder than I anticipated...because the tickle of wind seemed to stir him from his sleep.
I held my breath when Fili let out a soft groan. He turned from the position on his side to lay on his back. The sun brightly peered into his face, making him squeeze his eyes against the brightness of the morning rays. His arm raised from its place on the bed to cover him from the suns' assault.
I was completely still the entire time he moved. It wasn't until the frown that had crept onto his face started to straighten out along with his breathing that I let out the air I had captured in my lungs.
Making the final decision to move, I slowly pulled the blankets from my body. Every move I made was like I was breaking into a safe with the guard sleeping in the next room. Once the blankets were carefully peeled from me, I began to sit up. It felt like an eternity before I raised up enough to maneuver my body around to the edge of the bed. Scooting to the edge, I let my legs, with as much caution as I could, lift from the bed and swivel around to touch the floor beneath me. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was almost to freedom. Once up, I could make it to the door faster than he could pull the blankets from himself if he woke. Then I could disappear into the halls of Imladris.
Slowly I began to stand up, pushing my hands against the mattress and planting my feet firmly on the groun. I was almost there! I could just taste the avoidance of an awkward and painful discussion. One that I would not have. Not to mention how pissed Fili would be. Not only did I avoid him last night and refuse to tell him what he wanted, but I coerced him into my bed with the promise of love making...something I was not willing to give any man any time soon. It may have seemed like a good way to distract him from prodding any further into what I knew, but It was still the worst idea I had ever come up with.
Easing up from the bed, the weight of my body leaving the mattress made it creek slightly, causing me to wince. I stopped to wait, thinking Fili would have heard it and awoken, but when he made no noise or moved, I could have died with excitement.
"Almost there.." I said quietly to myself.
I pushed myself up further. I was fully on my feet and pulled a hand from the bed to push my dress out of the way. I almost had my other hand away...but fate was an evil bitch.
I large, calloused hand wrapped around my wrist and I was practically dragged back onto the bed. My body pinned beneath a large dwarven body. Fili was smirking down at me, his hair falling around his head. A few strands tickled my collar bone and I was very aware of how he had positioned himself between my legs. Blushing furiously, I pushed against him...rather weakly.
"I see you're fairing well this morning, Lass." His words were husky, causing my eyes snap to his almost instantly.
Breathing apparently was something I didn't like doing...because once against the air was stuck in my throat. Fili had leaned down to plant a kiss on my forehead,where my head still hurt. I winced and hissed at the contact. When he pulled away, his smirk had turned into an apologetic smile.
"Still painful I see."
"..I don't understand." It was all I could get out. Literally, I had no idea what was going on and why I wasn't pushing him off with a knee to his groin. My body on the other hand was a traitor to my brain, who was telling me to flee.
"Don't you remember?" Fili asked with an almost amused tone.
"Remember what?"
Fili chuckled. "Well right after you dragged me onto the bed, you tried to roll us over. Unfortunately we went over the edge of the bed and you hit your head pretty hard on the floor. I laughed so hard I almost soiled myself, but when you didn't wake up I had to drag you onto the bed."
Mortified. I was completely mortified. However, I did silently thank Aule for giving me the stroke of luck. If things had continued the other way, I would be waking up to a naked Fili and no power to stop him from doing it again. Sure I'd feel guilty and like a right ass, but I knew if it had escalated to that then I would be his. The reaction my body seemed to have to him was proving that.
"So you just laid here all night?"
He raised an eyebrow. " Of course I did. Why would I leave you alone after knocking yourself out cold? Sometimes people don't wake up if they hit their heads hard enough...I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
My heart skipped a beat. He did that for me? Wait! No! Stop! I shook my head and cleared my throat.
"That was very thoughtful of you Fili. Thank yo- Mm!" My lips were attacked in the middle of my gratitude.
His mouth had engulfed mine and his hand came up to my hair, grasping a handful of it carefully. The chaste kiss only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away reluctantly with a smirk. His nose brushed against mine as he backed away, but he stayed close, leaving me with little personal space.
"You know how you could really thank me.." His voice was full of promises I wasn't quite sure I wanted to experience.
"...N-..no" But I knew exactly what he wanted. The pressure of something hard against my inner thigh told me enough.
"Well then let me show you..." Fili swooped down to kiss me again, but this time I turned my head away quickly, avoiding the contact.
"Fili, stop." My voice was weak, I knew it was, but I couldn't let this happen.
I felt Fili shifted above me, pulling his face from mine. When I glanced up at him, I saw the confusion on in face, his eyebrows knitting together.
"What is it? Does your head still hurt?"
"I...I think you should go." Gods the words hurt to say. I felt like a complete arse.
"What? Why?" He was obviously still confused, but the sudden volume of his voice told me he seemed to be a but frustrated that I would want him to leave.
"Fili...last night.."
"What about last night?" He ground out lowly. He knew where this was going and it was already upsetting him.
"It was a mistake Fili. I...I shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't ha-"
"And why not!? What exactly are you saying?"
Oh drat. How was I going to fix this? This was starting to become more intense than I had hoped. The dark energy from his anger was starting to push against me. It startled me slightly at first, but knew it was just the influence of a greater evil that was still fighting to control him. It was obviously becoming more difficult to hold any power in the home of elves. Especially with Galadriel close by.
I was going to have to go about this a different way...it may cause more problems in the long run, but Fili was not in the state to combat this darkness. Nor was I in the mood to deal with any more drama than I needed. His anger was what was drawing Sauron to him. Like a moth to flame. That was the only way he could get to him now. How he was doing it, I still had no idea. Dwarves were not normally susceptible to the power of Sauron. They could not be controlled by anyone...but somehow Sauron was getting to Fili.
Fucking bastard. He always had some sneaky trick up his sleeve.
Clearing my throat, I tucked a strand of hair behind an ear and put on my most shy expression I could muster. "Well...I just...I was a virgin you know...before the incident happened..." My voice was as shy as I must have looked because Fili immediately calmed and eased up from me.
The weight of his body being removed caused me to let out a small whimper. It was completely involuntarily...at least that's what I told myself.
Filis quick withdraw gave me the chance to pull myself up to sit, grabbing the blanket to pull to my chest. I was fully clothed, but under his concerned eyes I still felt like I was naked.
"Miss Emma...I am sorry. I should have been more-.." Fili was at a loss for words as he sat at the edge of the bed with a hand running through his thick blonde hair.
"It's okay Fili...I didn't mean to lead you on or anything...I thought I would be ready for some form of contact, but...It doesn't feel right. I'm afraid I can not be with you like that.." Please, please, please let this work!
Fili was silent for what seemed like forever. He sat on the edge of the bed looking at the balcony and toward the sun that was rising above the horizon. I didn't dare to move, fearing it would cause some sort commotion between the two of us. The situation was already delicate and I was not willing to make it worse.
"I understand this must be difficult." Fili said calmly. "You have had the worst kind of experiences with men and I have thrown myself at you once already..." He turned to look at me, his expression unreadable.
"Fili it wasn't your fault...I didn't exactly fight you off.." It was true. I had liked it, there was no denying that...but there was no way it could happen again. THIS could not happen again.
A faint smile graced his lips and he leaned a chin against his knuckles as he leaned onto his thigh. "That is true, lass. Nor did you seem to dislike last night either."
Heat rushed to my cheeks and the shy expression that had been fake earlier was now very much real. That cheeky dwarf.
"I know what happened, Fili. I was there." I tucked myself further into the blanket and looked away to avoid his gaze.
I heard Fili sigh and the bed shift as he stood up. "I will leave you be, Emma. You are obviously very uncomfortable.." He walked toward the door, grabbing his belongings from one of the chairs in the room as he went.
I peered over at him as he suddenly stopped short of the door and turned back to look me dead in the eyes. "But do not think I will forget any of this. You have bewitched me in the worst possible ways, Lass...and I can not let go of you. Not even if I wanted to." His gaze was unchanging. It held a longer in it that caused me to bite my lip. "One day I will have you...it may take years, but eventually you will be mine."
With those final words, he left me with in shock. The moment the door closed, I slunk back against the bed still wide eyed and in utter disarray from what he said to me. He could not let me go? I would be his? This couldn't be happening...
I looked down in thought, not sure what to think about what Fili had just said. He was obviously very emotional. It had to be Sauron. Right? He didn't really feel this way...did he?
My eyes caught my hands that were grasping the blanket. I had been holding them so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. Immediately I let them go and sighed. I had to let this Fili 'thing' go. Nothing could happen. Nothing. Either I would be heartbroken because I lost him in the end or Sauron would use him and the others to get to me. I could not let either of those happen.
I knew he was here the moment he stepped foot in Imladris. I could feel it. Saruman. Or Curumo as I remembered him. He had once been a Maia like the others, living with the Valar. I also knew he was not our friend.
It had only been a few hours since Fili had left me and I had almost wanted to stay in my room all day, but the moment I felt his presence, I knew it would not be possible. There would be a meeting tonight.
They would have to leave. The company needed to move on from this place before they would be stopped by Saruman.
That was the reason I had changed as quickly as possible and was currently making my way through the halls of Imladris. I knew where the dwarves would be. Which meant Gandalf would be there as well.
I quickened my steps, my gown sliding against the floor as I hurried. I could feel the pull of my hair against gravity as it fell behind my shoulders. I couldn't get to them any faster without running. I passed several elves who had stopped to bow, but I had little time to acknowledged them. There was no time for formalities.
My eyes drifted to the doors of the dining hall and I picked up my dress slightly as I came to it. The elves standing by it bowed and opened the doors. I gave a quick nod and shuffled inside. The moment I entered I could hear the laughter of the dwarves before I could see them.
I was excited to see them once again. Truly I was. My eyes brightened with anticipation at seeing the company sitting comfortably at the long table with mirth in their eyes. My arrival had not gone unnoticed. Bofur saw me almost immediately and stood to greet me.
"Lass! Come join us for lunch! We finally got some meat!" The excitement in his voice brought a smile to my lips.
The tables' occupants all turned to look at me. Most with smiles.
"Meat huh? Well that's good! I thought they were trying to starve us." I let out a small chuckle when the others laughed at my comment. They had spent most of their time complaining about how it was always bread, cheese, and greens. Never meat. They hated it. The non-meat diet made them grumpy...and a grumpy dwarf was never any fun.
As I my eyes fell to Kili amongst the group, he gave me a small smile, but the strange sadness in his eyes told me his brother must have said something about what had transpired. Of course the smirk Fili held was enough to persuade me of that. I had to look away with a blush to avoid any awkwardness from them. I set my gaze to Gandalf who was once again sitting at a smaller table with Elrond.
They both stood to greet me with a small nod. I would have loved to stay and chat with Elrond again. He was my friend after all, but I had business to attend to.
"Lord Elrond...I hope this does not come off as rude, but I have a matter to discuss with my company and I would like a moment alone with them." I tried my best to sound a courteous as possible.
Elrond raised a calculated eyebrow. "Whatever it is, I am sure I could be of some help to you. I do know the matter of this journey as it is."
Sneaky Elrond. Trying to fish for more information by offering his services and input.
I straighten quickly. "It is a private matter, Elrond. Do not argue."
Whatever tone I pushed out of my throat must have brought my point across. He knew that I knew and there was no way around it. He gave a bow and excuse himself without another word. He brushed by me with little emotion and I watched him pass until I couldn't turn my head anymore. I turned to the rest of the elves that stood in wait to serve water and food.
"The rest of you, leave immediately." I didn't mean to sound so demanding, but the ears of elves did not need to hear what we were going to discuss.
My words fell on their ears like a command from their superior. The remaining elves dropped what they were doing and left without any question. When I heard the doors close I looked to Gandalf who was eying me with a glint of pride in his eyes. He was obviously very happy to see I was starting to blend my old self with the new. It was a compromise I had no choice in.
I walked over to the table and sat next to Bilbo who gave me room to slide in. Once again he had found me a plate and filled it with what ever he could reach for. Gandalf grabbed a chair from the table he had been sitting at with Elrond and brought it over to join the rest of the company, who were momentarily staring at me with question and anticipation as to what exactly it was we were about to talk about.
"Now then Miss Emma, what was it you wanted to discuss?" Gandalf leaned forward with his hands resting on his knees.
I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth and began to chew quickly. Not wanting to talk about our next course of action on an empty stomach. The idea that we would all be leaving without Gandalf made me quite queazy.
"About your counsel meeting tonight." I said between mouthfuls.
"I see there was no keeping it from you. I have already discussed this with Thorin." Gandalf didn't seem surprised that I knew about it. Good. The wizard should know by now that he can't hide anything from me. Especially since he knew of my origins and the books. There was much more that I didn't tell him, things he didn't want to know about.
"Then you must have talked about us leaving tonight." I was still stuffing my face, excited that there was indeed meat on the table this time. From what it tasted like, it had to be venison or something gamey. Rabbit maybe? Who knew.
"Yes, we have.." Gandalf cleared his throat and glanced across the table. I raised an eyebrow and looked down the table to Thorin who looked away as soon as we made eye contact. "We spoke of it before breakfast."
I looked back at Gandalf and at his light smile I continued to eat. "Well it is wise. The sooner we leave the quicker we can head into the mountains. However, I'd like to talk to you more privately about the meeting."
"Emma...there is something we would like to tell you." I brought my eyes up from the bowl of soup in front of me and raised an eyebrow. Gandalf once again looked back down the table and when I looked to where he was staring, I could see the rest of the company was looking like they were hiding something.
"What?" My spoon sloshed into the bowl as I released my grip from it. "What's going on?"
No one spoke. They barely moved. They couldn't even keep their eyes up long enough to look at me. What exactly had they discussed without me? I spun my head to look at Bilbo, hoping he would give away something, but he did the same as the others. The hobbit was as guilty as the rest.
"Alright guys, what's going on? I can see it on all your faces...what is this all about?"
There was obviously no hiding it from me. They were holding onto a secret that I was quick to point out, so Thorin, being the leader, stood and told me exactly what I was asking for.
"The group has come to a decision regarding your status amongst us." Thorin placed his hands against the table to lean forward slightly as he looked me dead in the eyes. His strange gaze made the color drain from my face. Had they found out who I was? Did Balin bring something up that made them come to the conclusion of my parentage?
"Wh-what?" My hands started to shake, but I was quick to push them under the table as I held my gaze with Thorin.
"It was a unanimous decision. You will not be traveling with us into the Misty Mountains. We have deemed it too dangerous.." As he continued to speak, my sudden realization of what this was all about figuratively smacked me in the face.
They didn't want me to continue because they thought it was too dangerous for me? You have got to be kidding me.
My outrage and complete shock of what Thorin was saying had the wheels in my head coming to a screeching halt. What had brought this on? I looked down the row of dwarves sitting at the table and my suspicion of why my presence in the group was no longer needed was keeping his pretty little blonde head down and his blue eyes doing everything they could to not look my way.
That little bastard. Fili must have brought it up, thinking he was protecting his 'woman'. Why didn't I end that this morning?
I barely registered that Thorin was still speaking about the dangers of the mountains when I burst out laughing. Knowing that these dwarves were worried about my well being was the funniest damn thing I had ever heard. I was Emi. I had killed thousands more than they could have put together. There was no way this was actually happening.
"I hardly find this humorous Miss Emma. There are many dangers the wilds hold and it is no place for a woman with no battle skills-"
"And that is where you have me confused for someone else, Thorin. I am the last person you want to leave behind." I wiped away a tear from eye and the fear that had once pitted itself in my stomach was now fluttering away with little concern.
"We have already discussed it. You are not coming." Thorin's voice was authoritative. Certainly would have worked on any other dwarf...but I wasn't a dwarf and I wasn't his to bark orders at.
"Well I think that is a foolish idea." My humor of this whole predicament was out the window. If I didn't go with them, things could end badly, especially since we had no certainty that it would play out the way it should.
"You may see it as foolish, but you are still not coming. You will stay here where it is safe." Thorin straightened his surcoat and sat down, thinking I had accepted my fate with my last comment.
My eyes shifted to Gandalf, who put his hands up in defense. "Do not take your anger out on me. I had no say in the matter...I tried my very best to make them see the advantage of having you along."
"You obviously didn't try hard enough. Do you have any idea how much trouble they will be getting in without me being present? Damn dwarves will probably fall off a cliff or find themselves face to face with more orcs than they can handle. Fools will die without me." I didn't even comprehend that I had switched into Valarin. It came so fluidly from my lips. Gandalf smirked at my remark and hid his laugh with sip of water to his mouth while the dwarves and poor Bilbo stared at me strangely.
I scuffed and pushed my plate away from me. This was all Fili's fault. He put it in their heads that I would surely die if I came along. I was too weak to go into the wilds with them.
They knew so little. I brought my attention back to Thorin, who must have been waiting for some form of agreement on his final decision.
"You think it wise to leave behind your seer? That would surely be a mistake, Thorin. What if you run into danger and I see a way out that none of you can? Or I spot the danger before it happens? How could you leave someone behind so valuable?"
It was something to think on. I could see the wheels turning in his head. Leaving me behind could take away that advantage, but once Thorin turned his head to look at Fili, I could tell their would be no changing his mind. Fili and Thorin shared an expression that I couldn't understand, one that I'm sure kept the decision in its place.
"No." Thorin turned back to face me with his jaw set. "We can not have your life placed in harms way. I will not have the death of a girl on my hands...you are indeed a part of this company, but you are not equipped to handle a fight if we should find ourselves attacked."
"Aye Lass, we can't have you getting hurt. It would tear us apart if any harm befell you." Bofur added with a sad smile, thinking to help the situation.
"Aye. It would be heartbreaking..." Balin said almost too quietly.
I looked at the dwarves who took up the table, each one wearing a face of guilt. They were obviously torn by leaving me behind, but Thorin and the other 'males' thought a woman would only get herself killed...regardless of how much they cared about me.
"Please tell me this is some sort of joke." The corner of my eyes caught Bilbo shifting next to me, looking every bit as guilty as the rest.
"This is no joke, lass..." Dwalin spoke up from his place next to Thorin.
I was staring down a group of people that had made a decision for me, without my consent in the matter. My eyes glared at every single one of them, hoping it would make them as uncomfortable as possible. This was absolutely ludicrous! How could they just leave me behind? Finally my gaze landed back on the dwarf who must have brought this to the table. Fili only glanced at me before his eyes went back down to his plate. Yep, this was his fault.
"Don't you dare look away from me. This is your fault." The sudden words from my mouth caught everyone off guard, including myself.
Fili looked at me in shock. As did the rest. There must have been venom dripping from my pores. The room changed dramatically as I stood from me seat. It was full of energy that was starting to choke the clean air around them. I barely noticed how stiff every one had become as I glared down the line of dwarves to Fili.
"Now Emma.." Balin stood slowly, trying to calm the situation.
"Do not speak, dwarf!" I glared at Balin with so much force, it made him sit almost immediately.
My gaze shifted from the terrified old dwarf to Thorin, who was looking almost as terrified, albeit he was composing himself much better. "You will listen very carefully, dwarf king. I will not be left behind because you were persuaded by your nephew. He has no say in what I do, nor does he hold any sway over any of my actions." Leaning in slowly, I put my hands on the table, not being completely aware that the table started to crack beneath my usual timid palms. "I WILL finish this journey to the Mountain. If you leave me behind, I will follow by myself, most likely unprotected from the wilds of the Misty Mountain. So you really have no choice in the matter. Nor do you have any right to tell me what to do."
Yea, I was laying down the law. I am Emi, afterall. There was no doubt about that. And the child of any Valar does not take orders from some dwarvish king who wasn't really the king of anything.
There was a tense moment of silence. One that consisted of Thorin and myself staring each other down in a show of dominance. The would-be king was clenching his fists together so tight I thought the veins in his knuckles would explode. If anyone dared to make a sound, it would probably cause him to pounce across the table at me. Yea he might be able to get a swing in, but I'd lay his arse out faster than...well faster than the first time my fist met his face. Probably why he wasn't making any move to attack me. At least he was smart enough to remember.
Almost on an impulse, my body moved closer, practically daring him to reach across the table and strike me. We'd see just who the better fighter was. I'd tear him apart. I'd break every b-
"Emi." The voice of the Mithrandir brought me out of the dark place I was slipping into. I turned my head slowly, peering through my strands of dark hair to look at him. His face was stern, but it was his eyes that caused me to remove myself from the table.
The subtlety he usual held within his gray orbs were replaced with disapproval...and even contained a small threat that if I did anything stupid, I would regret it immensely.
And I would. Because these people sitting at the table were my friends...who were just trying to keep me safe...and I was acting like a spoiled child. Threatening to wonder off into the wilderness alone, without knowing if I could really handle myself against any foe, just to make them take me along. I was angry that they wanted to leave me, but only because if I didn't go then I couldn't save them from...well themselves. They were going to get themselves killed- at least a couple of them would.
A few quiet moments into my gaze I calmed significantly. The heaviness in the room dissipated and I was feeling like a right git.
"I'm...I'm sorry." I said as I moved away from the table, making my way to the few steps that left the dais.
I had no idea why I was being so aggressive. It was like I was a whole other person...I stopped in my tracks. Gods did I really just say that? Of course I'm a whole other person. This whole Emma/Emi thing was starting to cause a rift in my very soul.
"Emma," A hand on my shoulder brought my attention back to Gandalf, who was standing above me like a statue...though his face softened considerably. "I understand why you don't want to be left behind, but they are only trying to protect you. Could you blame them for wanting to keep something they hold dear away from the evils of this good earth?"
Way to make me feel even worse.
"I suppose I shouldn't...but you and I both know that me staying behind is not an option."
Gandalf watched me carefully, his eyes practically scanning my mind. For what, I was still unsure. He must have found his answer when he smiled lightly at me and brought his staff up with a 'clunk' on the floor beneath us.
"I must agree with Miss Emma, Thorin. As I said before, leaving her behind would be a crucial mistake. Her abilities are too valuable to this company."
Finally someone was on my side! The frown on my face grew into a smile. I knew I liked him for a reason.
"I do not think it wise to bring a woman who can not fight for herself. What if we are unable to protect her?" Thorin stood from his seat slowly, obviously still upset at my little outburst. "It is a risk we can not take."
"Agreed. The girl could barely fight off an orc and was maimed by a warg almost immediately after. What will happen when run into something far more fierce? She'd fall before we had a chance to rescue her." Dwalin drawled out with a grimace.
The idea of rescuing a damsel in distress was apparently too noble. Arse.
"But she was able to kill that orc, remember? Not to mention one of her captors in Bree. Have we forgotten that?" Good ole Bofur. He turned his head and winked at me with a smirk.
I had another on my side.
Thorin let out an exasperated sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. "Must we go over this again. Did I not make myself clear? She can not girl can not-"
"And we are bringing the hobbit with us, after all. He can barely wield a sword, same as Emma. If we are leaving the girl, why not just leave the hobbit?" Nori voiced his thoughts, which got a glare sent his way from Bilbo at the other end of the table and another from Thorin who was interrupted by the dwarf.
"We need a burglar, you fool. Or did you forget?" Gloin retorted with an eye roll.
"But Emma has a gift much greater than that of a burglar. I think it is important that she stay with us. We can protect her just fine!" Kili spoke out with a look of pure confidence on his face. He gave me a smile that I had been sorely missing, but it was immediately removed when Fili nudged him hard in the side.
"We can't always be looking out for her and she can't fight for herself if we found ourselves in a real battle! What if we come across more orcs and wargs? Or trolls more foul than the ones we already ran into? We can't afford losing her..." Fili's voice was practically a whisper at the end of his argument.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw how sad he looked at the simple idea that I might perish at the hands of some creature they couldn't protect me from. That he couldn't protect me from.
Not liking him was a becoming far more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Damn him.
"Perhaps the lass and hobbit need a good lesson in wielding a sword. They could be taught the basics at least..." Balin tried to reason with Thorin, throwing a faint smile at me. "She does have a good arm, Thorin."
There were a few chuckles at the table at the image of me pummeling Thorin with one hit to the jaw. Thorin must have took that into account, for his stance slackened slightly and his hand moved to his jaw where I had hit him. I would have to kiss Balin after that one...and apologize for practically biting his head off moments earlier.
"So be it." Thorin relented. He had no other choice. I'd follow regardless and he didn't want me dying because I was stupid enough to follow alone on his conscience. "I don't care how it is done. You have the day to train."
With that last word he was leaving the table, not wanting to hear any more of it. I smirked in victory as he walked passed. Our eyes locked momentarily, giving me a brief warning that if I couldn't handle a weapon on my own then he would leave me anyway. Before I could send my own subliminal message I was grasped by the arm by an overly thrilled Kili.
"Come on, lass! I'll train you!" He was far more excited than I was...mostly because I didn't need to be trained. At least I didn't think I did. Maybe it was a good idea...Yea, couldn't hurt.
"Alright Kili! Just let go of me or I wont have an arm to swing my sword." I giggled as I tried to pull my arm from him. He had been dragging me across the room and down the corridor by the time I was able to answer him.
"Not a chance! The sooner we get to the garden the better! We gotta get you trained!" Kili dragged me only a few more steps before I was snatched by my other arm.
I was tugged back, which caused Kili to stop. He turned to argue, but then narrowed his eyes when he noticed it was Fili who had brought us to a halt. Fili, however, had his eyes locked with mine. As I was glaring daggers at him (because I was still fuming from him talking his uncle into making me stay behind...even though it was very noble of him), Fili spoke with an emotionless tone.
"Kili, I'm going to train her."
Fuck that. I was not getting myself into a any sort of confrontation with him. Fighting meant adrenaline. Adrenaline caused endorphins. Endorphins brought with it testosterone. Add girl you really liked into the mix and I could be looking at another hallway groping session that I could hardly fight off.
"Brother, don't worry so much. I am capable of training her properly, but do come along. I could use your help." Kili could sense the strange atmosphere between us and undoubtedly knew what had happened last night. He only smirked at his elder brother and released the grip on my arm. He didn't want to start some sort of turf fight. It was evident that Fili told him that I was to be his.
The thought made me snatch my arm away as quickly as I could from Fili's hold.
"As long as you don't slow me down." I tried to sound as bitter as possible. The last thing I wanted to do was show him any kindness. That would bring about some form of endearment that would cause me to swoon.
Apparently my anger towards him went unnoticed. Fili only glanced up at his brother and smirked almost identically. Thank Aule I was an only child. I think...
My thoughts were interrupted when I was once against being dragged toward the gardens, a bit more gently than before. My excitement of the whole situation was destroyed by the presence of Fili, who I was trying my hardest to hate.
The entire way to the garden they discussed weaponry with each other. Which weapon I would fit me the best. A sword was my first option. Well, actually it was the only one they seemed to agree on. Evidently, I would never learn to use a bow in time, would not be strong enough to wield a war-hammer or battle-axe, and was not poised enough to swing a staff, mace, or bill around. It was insulting listening to them list off the weaknesses and strengths they thought I had. Especially when it was a discussion consisting of mostly the former.
When we made it to the garden, I was ready to hit them both in the noggin. Hopefully it would render them unconscious and I'd show them I was far less weaker than they assumed.
Stupid males and their macho egos. I was so tired of being considered weak and pathetic. They obviously saw me that way because of all the turmoil I had been through, but by now, those turmoils had turned into strengths. I used those to boost up my confidence. I would never let another man harm me. Not like Oliver. Not like those pieces of trash from Bree...and not like Mairon...not like Sauron. I'd die again before I let them happen.
"I think we should just let her start with basic hand to hand. It can help just as much as a sword if she's caught without it." Kili started.
"No, no. We don't have much time to train her. A couple hours a most before we have to prepare...I think we should just get into it." Fili responded as he glanced about the garden.
"But it is important for her to know how to use her body. Being graceful with her body can help her learn those sword skills faster." Kili had a hand to his chin as he thought on how to train me.
Fili chuckled."You sound like an elf...but I suppose you could be right." Fili began unfastening his surcoat, tossing it aside to show only the thin undershirt he wore beneath. It was partially unclasped at the top, giving a good show of his chest hair.
My jaw clenched instinctively. Kili didn't seem to care that his brother was undressing, in fact, he did the same. He tossed his surcoat next to Fili's and pulled out his sword.
"Learning how to use her body would do her some good..." I caught the hidden text beneath Fili's words and looked at him with a glare.
I would have thrown a rock at him, but when I took a step forward, he did the unthinkable. He removed his undershirt and tossed it to the side with the biggest grin I have ever seen.
My face turned red and I did everything I could not to look at him.
"Emma are you alright? You look so red.." Kili walked over to me, putting a hand to my forward. "You're practically burning up."
"Leave her be, brother. It's just hot out here." Fili wiped his forehead before looking me over with a smirk.
Kili only shrugged and took a step back to ready himself. My eyes were keeping to the rose bush to my side. I did not want to look over...it was unfortunate that fighting them would require me to eventually look at Fili. Maybe Kili would do all the work and Fili would just sit to the side...soaking up the sun's rays on his chiseled pectorals...Oh my gods! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
My flush deepened and I had to close my eyes and concentrate on something else to get me back into focus. This was the worst day ever. Almost. It was a close second.
The shuffling of boots on grass snapped my eyes open. Fili had pulled out a dagger and was walking toward me with it firmly in his grip.
I took a quick step back to get away. "What are you doi-! Oh!" Fili cut me off by grabbing the bottom of my dress and slicing into it with his dagger. He tore at it until half of it was gone from my legs, leaving me exposed from the knees down.
"Are you crazy!? What did you do that for!?" I hit him in the chest. His bare chest. The slap of my skin on his caused me to blush slightly before I glared back up at him.
"Don't get your knickers in a knot. I was just helping you out, lass." His smirk was starting to piss me off. In fact, his face needed a good rearrangement. A bruise here, a gash there. It would be an improvement.
"By tearing my clothes off? Should I tear the rest off for you or will you just help yourself again?!"
Kili laughed at the exchange, loving this far more than he should have. I narrowed my eyes at him before turning back to the beast in front of me. He was still smirking while twirling his dagger in fingers.
"Nah, we'll leave that for another lesson. For now, I just want you to be able to move and that dress was only going to make it difficult for you."
Embarrassed that he was right, I turned away with another red face to go along with my collection. I hated him.
Fili leaned in, far too close if you ask me, and whispered. "You're welcome." Then he moved back and turned away to stride across the open space before turning again to face me and Kili.
My nostrils flared and I crossed my arms over my chest with a huff. If I ever get a sword, I was going to run him through with it. My eyes glanced to Kili, who was holding one at his side. Yea, I want that sword.
"Give me a sword."
"We need to work on your unarmed skills first." Fili said sternly, not liking the idea of me having a sword just yet. Obviously for his own safety.
"I don't need it. Sword." My arm outstretched to Kili, who stared at my open hand wearily before looking up to his brother.
"I don't think this is a good idea..." Kili spoke uneasily.
"Nor do I. Do not give that to her." Fili warned.
Kili gulped and glanced back to me as I was reaching out to take the sword from his grasp.
"Wasn't planning on it. How about we just stick with the unarmed training, eh?" Kili nervously smiled at me. It was cute, but wasn't going to work.
"Give me the sword or I will be forced to take it from you." The threat must have sounded hollow to the Durin brothers. Both chuckled at the notion.
"I highly doubt you could take anything from me, much less my sword." Kili laughed lightly while swinging his sword to rest on his shoulder. "Let's just stick to th- ah!"
I used this opportunity to stomp on his toes, victoriously plucking up the sword from his loosen grip as he bent over to in unmistakable pain.
"What in the name of Durin are you doing, girl!?" Kili was still clutching his throbbing toes. How I managed to cause him that much pain through his thick boots was a mystery to me, but I got my prize and that's all I cared about.
"Sorry, but I warned you." Not giving Kili a second glance, I walked toward Fili, who was holding up his hands.
If I didn't know any better, I would think that he was actually scared.
"Now, lass...let's just calm down. This is just training remember? Nothing to get all upset about.."
"Don't worry Fili, I'm not going to kill you." I slowed my pace with my own signature smirk. "Just maim you or seriously injure...that's all." He deserved it.
Now I wasn't really going to hurt him...not badly anyway. Fili tried to persuade me once again, but by the time he got out a couple words, I was already swinging.
"Emma stop!" Fili was expertly deflecting my blows away with his dagger, though he almost stumbled to do so with each blow to his meager blade from the one I held. "Put the sword down and I wont be forced to hurt you."
Blah, blah, blah. Not listening.
I swung that sword as hard as I could, effectively knocking the dagger from Fili's grip. The dagger planted itself in the ground and before I could get another swing off, the blonde dwarf had rolled away in a strategic move to get to his sword. He snatched it up and popped back up on his feet just as I came at him again.
I had to admit, though I was not trying to kill him, it did feel wonderful getting my frustration out on him. He was the cause of most of my irritation recently. Him and his chauvinistic, egotistical, annoying presence. He was so shy and sweet at first...but now that his sights were set on me...well it was still sweet...and he was still shy when he wanted to be...and he did respect me enough to not take advantage of me while I was passed out.
As my anger towards him receded with each swing, I began to concentrate a bit better on what I was doing, on how I was swinging the sword. I knew how to do it because I remembered that I had used a sword before in battle. I knew how to move because I had done so to avoid attacks from enemies. What I realized the quickest was how I hated using a sword. It didn't feel right. Didn't come as fluidly as I would have liked it to. It was...off. This was not my weapon of choice.
In my moment of thought, Fili took advantage and evaded the swing of my blade by countering it with his own, pushing our swords to the ground and attempting to pull the hilt from my grip. My instincts kicked in and I pushed forward with my body, catching him off guard and successfully knocking him off his feet.
It happened so quickly. When it was all over, Fili was on the garden floor looking up at me with shock, while I stood above him with my sword to his chest and his sword leaning against my shoulder in my tight grip.
I don't even know how it happened. But I won. I won.
"How did that just- How did? Emma, you were amazing!" Once Kili shook out of his own momentary shock, he ran over to me clapping a hand on my shoulder and laughing at how hilarious it was for Fili to be taken down by a woman who, for all they knew, had no training with a sword in her life.
I removed the tip of the sword from Fili's chest and walked over to the bench where their surcoats were laying. I placed the swords against the bench and smiled to myself. I had never felt so...well just as Kili said- Amazing. I felt like I had just won a million dollars...or a mountain full of gold!
"How did you learn to do that?" Kili asked as he helped up his still dumbstruck brother from the ground.
"Aye, how exactly did you know how to wield a sword so expertly?" Fili was slowly started to replace his shock with suspicion.
How could a girl like me suddenly know how to fight like that? Well when you're actually much older than you say you are and in a re-incarnated body, not to mention having fought countless battles, ones that they probably have never heard of, then you tend to know a thing or two about wielding a sword...regardless of how much I disliked it.
"My father taught me." It was the truth. He had...but I wouldn't go into detail.
"Why didn't you say something sooner? We could have avoided all the argument earlier. Thorin wouldn't have doubted your place with us for a second if he knew how well you could hold your own." Kili asked with his arms crossed against his chest. He raised an eyebrow as he waited for an answer.
"I dunno.." I shrugged. "I guess I didn't think I could remember most of what he had taught me..." A good cover up. It would do for now. "But I hate using swords...they're too..." I couldn't think of what it was like to hold a sword. I just didn't like it.
"Too what?" Fili questioned as he dusted off the dirt from his body.
"I'm not sure..."
"My dear Emma, I see you are having trouble with that sword." The three of us turned to see Elrond and Gandalf walking toward us...with a long object wrapped in delicate fabric.
"Lord Elrond." I said curtly and bowed my head to show a bit of respect, especially after I was so short with him in the dinning hall. "I apologize for ruining your garden..." I motioned to the crushed flowers Fili had rolled onto, "but they wanted to teach me how to use a sword properly."
"Certainly you didn't need the training now did you?" He smirked as they came to a stop in front of us.
"You handle yourself quite exquisitely, young lady. Much better than I expected." Gandalf added with a chuckle.
"Well, Fili was easy to beat." The jab caused Fili to whip his head to glare at me, but I paid him no mind. The chuckle from Kili, however, brought a smile to my face.
"Indeed." Gandalf added.
The grunt from Fili had my eyes wandering to his retreating back. Each muscle moved beneath his rough skin as he walked toward his belongings, grabbing at them as he grumbled incoherently.
"Where are you off to, brother?" Kili asked with a knowing smirk. It must have been a great scene to see his brother get beat by me. The image of how it looked made me mimic his smirk.
"To inform uncle that our little wilting flower is in no need of training." Fili was obviously annoyed at the situation and wanted to get as far away from his ego crusher as quickly as possible.
The grouchy dwarf said nothing else as he stomped away from us, still grumbling as he went. The moment he was out of sight, Kili barked out a laugh and slapped me on the shoulder. I hissed in pain, but giggled at how big his smile was.
"That was the greatest feat I have ever witnessed! I hope you get angry at him more often."
I rolled my eyes at Kili. "Don't worry, I'm always made at him.."
Elrond cleared his throat and held out the object wrapped in the cloth to me.
"What is this for?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He was giving me a gift after I had been so rude to him earlier?...Not suspicious at all.
"You will need it. Gandalf told me that you lost your weapon when the wargs attacked...so I went in search for another. It was hidden within out archives." Elrond's eyes lit up with excitement. Why?
I looked from him to the elongated gift he was presenting me. Slowly I removed a piece of the cloth as he held it out to me. It slipped away to reveal a long white staff. On this was intricate designs and symbols that I knew all too well. I pulled more of the cloth away...and my eyes landed on the end of the staff where the head of a war-hammer sat delicately. It was as though it was a part of the staff. Like it was carved from some white wood. The head of the hammer was a fraction of the size of normal war-hammers and gracefully twisted opposite of the flat head of the hammer was the crows beak. It was twisted widely by separate pieces of material to form together at the end. The tip was as sharp as a razors blade. It was as white as a sheet of paper...as white as snow. As my hand moved to touch it, it seemed to glow even whiter. I hesitated before letting my fingers trace the metal.
This was my hammer. It was the one my father, Aule, had created for me. Made from the earth's most powerful metals. One's that would never be seen by the eyes of men. Secret material that would stay exactly that.
My eyes began to water as my hand grasped it lightly. I picked up the war-hammer that was as tall as I was and brought it to my side, letting the end rest against the garden floor. It felt right in my hands. This was my treasure...my most sacred possession.
Tears rolled down my face. My puffy eyes broke from the trance of the hammer and moved to find Elrond, who was smiling lovingly, with Gandalf proudly standing behind him with a grin.
"You kept it all this time?" I sniffled out the question.
"Of course I did. How could I not? You meant so much to me...it was all I could recover..." Elrond seemed haunted by what he was suggesting.
My body was destroyed by Sauron and the only thing they could find of me was my war-hammer. I smiled brightly while streaks of salty tears rolled down my face.
"What kind of hammer is that?" Kili asked from behind me, his eyes wide with wonder at the shiny hammer he was looking at. It was certainly not a war-hammer any dwarf would carry...nor did elves carry something so beautiful.
I didn't turn to look at the brunette dwarf. My eyes fixed themselves back onto my old friend. My companion through the worst of battle. It kept me safe and cut down countless foes with one swing. I still remember the day Aule gave it to me...it was the day I set out across the sea to Middle Earth.
Emi held onto the railing of the dock, looking out onto the seas that she was about to cross. One day she would return to her home. To her family. One day...but how could stand by, letting Morgoth and Sauron take over Middle Earth, spilling their darkness to the lands. There was nothing stopping them from becoming rulers of that realm...and then they would come for her home.
The boat was ready to go before she had time to understand that she was really leaving a place where she had been all her life. No one would be there for her over there. Only the few allies that they had would be able to protect her.
With a heavy sigh, she began her approach to the awaiting boat, but a voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Emi, wait!" The young woman spun around, her long wavy hair bouncing at her shoulders as she did so.
Aule, her father, was rushing toward her. The smile on his face countered the large, manly outward appearance he always held. It was a smile filled with love. Emi smiled warmly as her father slowed his steps when he reached her.
"I didn't want you to leave without saying farewell." He looked down at her, dwarfing her...though to most she was already considered that.
Emi craned her neck to look up at her father. "Mother didn't want to come as well?"
Aule's face softened with sadness as he looked to the boat. "She didn't want to say farewell...that would imply that you would never be coming back. I told it was silly to think in such a way, but you know how your mother is about these situations.."
"Aye, I know. I am glad you came to see me off, Papa." She reached her arms out to encircle them around her father, embracing him for what would be the last time in this era.
With one arm, the mighty Aule hugged his daughter against him. When she had first came into this world, thanks to their creator, he was almost disappointed with the outcome. She had not been what he wanted in an offspring, but Yavanna had instantly loved her without a second thought. It was in her nature to love. Her daughter had been her life...and now she was leaving them. Aule felt shameful. He had spent many years trying to create his own beings to what he wanted. Not wanting to have such a small docile girl as someone he would teach his skills to. Unfortunately he got the small...but docile he was able to avoid completely. The dwarves were much more than he asked for...but he did it out of spite. Emi had turned out to be the warrior he had wanted, but she had much to learn. Hopefully Middle Earth would give her what she needed.
With a heavy sigh he pulled himself from his daughter. "I have something for you. It took me a long time to forge, but it was well worth it."
"A gift?" Emi's eyes lit up as Aule pulled the most beautiful weapon she had ever laid her eyes on. Aule was a master craftsman and for him to take long to create a weapon, well it just had to be something special. "Father it's beautiful."
She took it within her hand and gasped. "And amazingly light! How-"
"Do not ask. It was very complicated and drove me to the brink of insanity just to make it like this." He smiled proudly. "Do you like it?"
"Like it? I love it! Thank you Papa!" She threw her arms around him once again.
Aule let out a hearty laugh before pulling away again to look down at her. "Take care of it and it will take care of you."
Emi nodded with tears in her eyes. It was the best gift she had ever been given.
"Does it have a name?"
"Huh?" I hadn't heard a word Kili was saying until he touched my shoulder.
"What is it?" Kili was eagerly waited for a reply.
I looked back at the hammer I was holding. The memories that flowed back to me caused more tears to flow freely from my lids.
This was what I needed to confirm who I was. With this weapon in my grasp, I knew I would do what I needed to do. I would be the warrior I needed to be. I would once again be Emi.
"This...is Nambalos." I spoke almost at a whisper, the name falling from my lips like it was a relieved to utter it.
"Nambalos? What does that mean?" Kili knitted his eyebrows in confusion at the foreign word. Elvish was obviously not something any dwarf would know...well at least most.
I raised the hammer up to examine the head, traveling through it's every detail to savor all the memories it held. It was untarnished and perfectly preserved.
"Hammer of Snow."
Nambalos. You have returned to me.