Sorry for another long wait. The holidays are very busy, especially in this house! I managed to get another long chapter out though :) I hope you enjoy it. I will admit I do a terrible job of editing. I want to get these out to you guys so I find myself just throwing them out without much editing to them. And I write so fast that I don't catch myself making mistakes often enough, so forgive me!
Anyway, please Review. I enjoy writing for people, but if i don't get a lot of feed back then it almost seems pointless to keep going...and I really want to finish this one. Give me motivation! LOL
Love you all! Enjoy!
The pure delight of being reunited with my old friend was overwhelming to say the least. Unexpected and unimaginable. It was like everything that I had experience with Nambalos never left. All those memories...every detail when I was wielding her. The feeling of knowing every inch of this hammer was...Gods there was no word to describe it. It surprised me how easy it was to remember everything I learned with Nambalos. It was only hidden beneath the layer of memories consisting of a life that wasn't really mine. It was the life of Emma. That human life I once occupied was just a fraction of what Emi had lived...and now, I barely recalled the life I experienced as Emma.
The moment I touched my own weapon, it had come back to me.
My eyes had dilated. My nostrils flared. My heart began to pound in my chest, like my inner warrior was pounding to be released. It was like a light had been switched on in my body.
I would never go back to being weak. Never would I be a victim. I was someone who had taken the life of many men and monsters alike. There was nothing that would stop me. If Sauron had been the one to bring me back to Middle Earth, it was a foolish move. He must have thought I would be under his control or possibly rule beside him.
Ha. Was he in for a surprise.
A smirk formed on my lips. My hammer was firmly in my grip as I thought of what was going to happen. I knew every move he was going to make. Thanks to the person who wrote those marvelous novels...which I now knew were actually history books written out by an elf that chose to stay on Middle Earth in secret. The only variable within this tale was that I was now involved when I shouldn't be here at all. It was a mystery that I was sure to find out soon enough.
My eyebrow twitched when I heard a knock at my door. I prayed to the Gods it wasn't Kili trying to see my hammer again. Once Nambalos had been returned to me, I gave Elrond and Gandalf my thanks. Well, more than just a simple 'thank you'. I literally flung myself at them, sobbing like a big baby. I had to excuse myself before I made myself look like a bigger fool. It was also my opportunity to pack my belongings...but the entire way there Kili had badgered me about the hammer. He wanted to hold it, inspect it, read the runes that were etched in its pure white surface. I finally had to shut my bedroom door in his face to get him away. That led to him knocking on my door for the next 20 minutes, begging to let him see it. Apparently he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. It was like he fell in love with it.
Thankfully, he gave up and I was able to go about my business, readying myself for the evening ahead. I took a glance in the mirror that was placed on the wall and smoothed out the french braid that held my hair in place. It was loosely braided, with a few strands finding their way out, but it would do its job to keep my hair out of my face. I managed to locate a long tunic in my size, one that was burgundy in color. A thick leather belt was comfortably tied around my waist while a matching pair of leather boots snugly fit over my black tights that covered my legs. It would serve to be fairly flexible, but keep me warm during the nights.
I was distracted from the mirror with another knock, louder than the first. With a heavy sigh, I moved from the mirror and dragged my feet to the door. I opened the door, expecting Kili to be standing there, but instead it was Gandalf, smiling at me with a twinkle that always seemed to be in his eyes.
"Gandalf, what brings you to my humble abode?" I said with a grin as I looked up at him.
"A word. I came to speak to you about tonight, that is all." His smile never faltered as he entered my room and made himself comfortable on a chair next to the balcony.
I shut my door quietly and locked it. No one needed to enter, especially an elf that could tattle to Elrond about what we were up to.
Pulling my braid around my shoulder to twirl the end in a habit, I shuffled across the floor and plopped down on my bed.
"Does Elrond sense that you know about the counsel meeting?"
"No, I don't believe he has an inkling. I'm a rather accomplished actor." He winked at me with a small chuckle.
A giggle escaped my lips before I laid back with a hand behind my head. "How has no one caught onto you? You must be as sly as a fox."
"It's something I have worked very hard to acquire. Now then," He lit his pipe, making himself comfortable in the process, "I want you to keep a close eye on the company while I am away."
I raised an eyebrow. "You trust me so easily, Gandalf? Having my hammer back does not mean I will be able to do what I have in the past. I'm not sure I can protect all of them..." I teased lightly.
With a puff of his pipe, the wizard looked out the balcony to the serene life that always embraced Imladris. " They need someone with a level head keeping them out of trouble. I fear there may be more than orcs and dragons lurking in the shadows..."
The evil that was beginning to seep out of the darkest corners of Middle Earth were weighing heavy on his mind. I could see it in his clouded gaze. I sat up straight and looked at him with a frown.
"It is bound to happen, Gandalf. You have all been very blind to his return. It's easy to hide in the dark when you can blend into it...and that is exactly what he has done. All we can do is wait for him to show himself." I knew he would eventually. It would be sixty years before he made his full assault, but it would give plenty of time for them to prepare. However, I had not told Gandalf much more than he needed. Only that in sixty years Sauron would return with hordes of orcs at his disposal. More than that could change the course of history...it could end up being a good thing...or a very bad thing. A trial I was not tempted to test.
"I just hope the white counsel will agree with my findings. We must prepare for his return before he amasses numbers far greater than our own." He sounded certain that they would understand why he was on this journey with the dwarves. If the dwarves reclaimed the mountain and killed the dragon, it would leave Sauron out one fire breathing drake. Smaug would be a powerful ally for him, but a devastating foe for the rest of us.
"They believe he was destroyed. It may take some convincing, but you and I are the only ones who are certain of his return." I tried making my tone as reassuring as possible.
Gandalf turned to look at me with a small smile. "You certainly are not the same girl I found laying in the middle of a field."
The sudden change in subject had me blushing slightly. "I'm still her..."
"Emma, you mean."
I winced at the name. I don't know why, but it felt so foreign to me. I knew that was a name I answered by often, but I didn't feel the same.. I was still Emma. I still had her life experiences and personality...because it was also Emi's. I was shy and tried hard to please everyone. It was exactly how I used to be before I made the choice to fight against the evil that was taking over Middle Earth.
A hand placed on my shoulder caused me to jump a little. Gandalf looked at me with concern. "You are still that person. No matter what. You are Emma. You are Emi. They are the same person."
He was right. I had to remember who I was. Emma and Emi is who I am. Not one or the other.
"You are right...as usual." I teased with a smirk.
The wizard leaned back to get comfortable in his chair, grinning at me before putting his pipe back in his mouth. "There is one advantage we have..."
"And what's that?"
"You." He pointed his pipe at me with a smirk. "You, my dear, have information that will likely cause great distress for Sauron and his forces. You know more than anyone on this good Earth."
"Which will also make me a target." I sighed and slumped against the headboard of the bed.
"Unfortunately, that is the burden of knowing too much I'm afraid, but I can assure you, we will do all we can to make sure you are safe." He didn't sound so sure about that, because my fate was uncertain, just like every one else.
There was nothing I could say to that. His promise was almost empty to me. There was no way of knowing I would survive any of this, even with my immortal powers coming back to me. I still felt like I was missing a part of my soul. I still felt...human.
And being human meant I was mortal. Being mortal meant I could die just as easily as any other mortal, regardless of my fast healing abilities, which still left me a bit sore around my midsection. The thought made me wince when I shifted on the bed.
"Are you sure you healed properly?" Gandalf must have seen my reaction.
"I'm fine. Not even a scar." That warg is lucky. If I had my Nambalos with me at the time, it wouldn't have wounded me so. In fact, that whole mess would have been completely avoided.
"It's not the physical wounds I'm worried about..."
My eyes caught his. His meaning was clear. He was worried for my mental state. I've been going over a lot of speed bumps lately. It was only natural to assume I may be in a strange state of mind. Who could blame him? I felt as off as he probably thought I looked.
"I'm just as worried, Gandalf, but we need to keep a clear head if we are going to survive this journey. I am the last thing you should be concerned with."
Silence was the only answer I was met with. We both seemed to be thinking about what our next plan of action was. My thoughts were mostly consumed by what was awaiting us within the Misty Mountains.
The sound of a chair scooting against the floor caught my attention. Gandalf stood with ease and with his arm behind his back, he blew out a puff of smoke to the open balcony.
"Is there anything you could...anything that I should know?"
What was he asking? It took me a few confused moments to realize he was asking if I could give him any clues as to what I knew.
"I don't think that is wise, Gandalf. The world is already changing with my presence here. I am a rift that is causing this world to shift. I will not bring further damage by telling you what I know will happen. At this point, I'm not even sure if what I know will even occur."
A sigh came from the wizard. One that seemed to be full of disappointment, but was followed by a nod in understanding.
"You are right to keep your knowledge from me. I thank you for that.." Gandalf turned with a smile and began shuffling to the door. "They will leave in the morn. Be ready."
I smiled as I watched him open the door. It would be quite some time before I would see him again. It was sad to see him go. "I will anxiously await your return."
Gandalf stopped in the door way and gave me a warm smile in return. "Take care of them, Emi."
The use of that name brought a warmth in my chest. I'd have to deal with this double name thing for awhile, but I was already finding myself enjoying the sound of my real name. The one I was born with the first time. The one my mother, Yavanna, gave me. My true mother.
I gave a nod and with that, Gandalf shut the door.
Left alone, I stood from the bed and grabbed my bag. I shoved it and my weapon under the bed, making sure to hide it from the maids that would surely come to tidy up my room for the evening.
Once that was complete, I found myself going for the door. I couldn't just stay in my room all night until we left. That would be counter productive and now that I was given the joys of babysitting the company, I would need to keep them in my sights. Even if that meant having to endure the probability of getting questioned about my weapon and new found fighting skills.
00000000000000000000000000000000000
THIRD PERSON POV
"I'm telling you, that hammer was unlike any other! Made from the most impressive material and glowed like the moonlight upon the whitest snow..." Kili was in a state of bliss while he was reminiscing about the hammer he witnessed being presented to Emma.
"Did you get to hold it?" Ori was hanging onto every word that left Kili's mouth. His eyes were wid with wonder.
"Hold it? No! She wouldn't even let me near the thing..." Kili sighed and leaned into the water.
As the sun was setting, the dwarves took it upon themselves to bathe...and this time they didn't go to the springs hidden in the mountain. Instead they found a large fountain. One that brought the water from the waterfall through a statue of an elvish woman carrying a large bowl. The water flowed down the bowl and into the four tiers of fountain...each of which was occupied by the dwarves.
They were doing everything they could to relax before their departure tonight...even if that meant insulting the elves in the process.
"Was it really as beautiful as you say?" Ori asked with excitement. He wanted nothing more to see this hammer. Maybe Emma would let him sketch it.
"Aye, it was beyond words. Almost...magical." Kili continued, his face filled with a silly grin.
"Doesn't sound much like a weapon at all." Sitting a few feet away was Fili, who was soaking up the last of the sun's rays with his head leaned back and his arms placed on the lip of the fountain.
Kili glared over at his brother, who was obviously still miffed about being beat by Emma in a fight.
"Still a bit sore from you beating?" Kili smirked as Fili frowned at him while crossing his arms against his chest.
"Beating? I think not." Some of the other dwarves were close by and most likely listening in. "I let the lass win!"
Pride was something the Durin blood had plenty of...and getting beat by a girl was not something to be proud about.
"You liar. The look on your face did little to prove that. You didn't have a chance!" Kili enjoyed making fun of his brother the opportunity came up. Not often did Fili become the target of any joke.
Fili flushed red and puffed his chest out in a show of masculinity. Kili only chuckled at his effort and waved him off.
"Shall we recall the male elf you thought 'wasn't bad looking'?" Fili was going to turn this around as quickly as possible. No way was he going to be made fun of for Emma beating him...not matter how amazing it was.
"How was I to know he wasn't a elf maid?! They all look the same!" Kili blushed furiously, hiding his face as he looked down at the water.
"Ah yes. High cheek bones, creamy skin, and not enough facial hair for you? Isn't that how you described him before you said he wasn't that bad?" It was Bofur who spoke up from the tier above them. Laughter erupted around them as the other dwarves remembered a very embarrassing moment for Kili.
The blush on the young archers face turned the deepest shade of red and with an angered growl he bounded out of his seat and dove for Fili, who had been laughing along with the rest. The two fell into the water as they wrestled. The rest of the dwarves gave a cheer at the sudden entertainment, while Balin and Thorin could only sigh and shake their heads.
"A silver says Kili knocks him out!" Nori shouted over the laughter.
"I'll take that wager!" Bofur added as they all watched the brothers wrestle beneath the surface of the water, occasionally coming up for air.
"Ten gold says I'll do it before Kili does." The voice of a female had the company pausing from their laughter to peer out into the courtyard.
Emma stood with a smirk on her lips and her arms loosely crossed against her chest. She looked as though she was ready to depart from Imladris, dressed in her wardrobe she had picked out hours earlier. Her boots thudded against the stone floor. She had little care that once again she was in the presence of naked dwarves, though thankfully they were mostly waist deep in the water...with the exception of Bofur, whose large girth at least hide any extremities she might not wish to see.
Kili and Fili were quickly ripped apart by Dwalin, who was standing close by. He held them apart with his arms, hoping the two would calm down before he would have to knock their heads in.
"You're just sore that she beat you!" Kili yelled at his brother in anger.
"A woman? Beat me? Ha, that's a laugh! I told you I let her win, you buffoon!" Fili took a step forward to get into Kili's face, but was held back by the muscular arm of Dwalin.
"Let her win my arse!" Kili tried to rush at Fili, but once again they were held apart by Dwalin.
"That's enough!" Thorin commanded from the tier above them.
Even the rumble of Thorin's overpowering voice couldn't stop the brothers from bickering at each other. Normally they got along so well, even when picking on one another. It was strange to see them look as though they would rip each other apart.
"You're just jealous!" Fili shouted, still not realizing that Emma was standing a few feet away, watching with a look of frustration and embarrassment as they were fighting over her.
"Jealous?! Of what!?" Kili asked outraged.
"Jealous that she chose me over you!" The words that came out of Fili's mouth caused even him to pause in surprise, just the same as the other dwarves.
The awkwardness of the situation turned into something entirely different when Kili turned away from his brother in embarrassment, almost admitting that he was indeed jealous, but whatever he would have said in defense or confirmation was wiped from the brunettes mind when his eyes locked onto Emma, who was glaring at Fili like she was ready to bash his face in. Good thing she didn't have that hammer with her, otherwise it could have very well happened.
"Emma..." Kili spoke with soft shock, finally acknowledging the only woman of their company.
Fili whipped his head around, his wet hair throwing water as he finally rested his eye upon Emma. The blush on his face was immediate and the shame from what he said knotted at the pit of his stomach.
"I...Emma...I" Fili didn't know what to say or how to react. He could only stand there and stare at the woman he's been obsessed with since the moment he laid eyes on her.
Emma stared at the blonde dwarf, the glare that had once been on her face slowly turning into a disappointed frown. There was nothing she could do to deter Fili or his affections...not matter how misplaced they may be. With a sigh, she shifted her weight and let her arms fall to her sides. With the best effort she could muster, she gave them a brilliant grin.
"Well isn't this a familiar sight...thirteen naked dwarves standing before me. I'm not sure whether to be ecstatic or run the other direction."
The situation was almost immediately diffused by her simple jest. Bofur, like always, was the first to laugh and stand from his seat, thankfully anything worth seeing was hidden by the stone of the fountain.
"Or you could join us, lass!" Bofur was quickly elbowed by Balin who was nearest too him.
Emma only giggled and shook her head. "No, I think that would be very unwise. If you lads fight over me when I'm not around, I don't want to see how you all behave when I'm present."
"You seem to have a knack for showing up when we're undressed. Perhaps it's you we should be more worried about." Nori said with a chuckle.
Emma smiled lightly at Nori, while the others let out a hearty laugh...all except Kili and Fili, who were still embarrassed about their behavior and had taken to sitting down, avoiding the conversation all together.
"What brings you here, lass? Surely it wasn't for the sights." Balin was finally the one to put all joking aside. He knew Emma wouldn't just come over here unannounced without some purpose.
The girl's smile faltered and she looked over to Balin and Thorin, who was standing next to the white-haired dwarf.
"Of course. I came only to check on the company...and to make sure we were prepared for the morning." Emma's voice was strained, as though she was thinking deep about the next day.
"Everything is in order. You have nothing to worry about." Thorin said with an unusual smile. "I am pleased to hear your training went well. Fili says you did quite well and Kili has spoken often about your new weapon. A war-hammer, I hear."
To Emma's surprise, he was speaking to her like she was one of his own, like she was actually part of the group. She hoped it was because she had stood up for her right to be in the company, but it was more likely his interest in this new weapon Kili was going on about.
Her only hope would be to downplay the picture Kili must have painted to the rest of them. Her green eyes fell upon Kili, who was keeping his eyes down to the water around them.
With a sigh, Emma pushed a stray hair back and shrugged her shoulders. "It will have to do for now, I suppose. More for show really. Pretty, but not entirely useful in battle...though I haven't fully tested it out yet."
Kili suddenly found Emma to be more interesting than the water. His head snapped up to look at her with confusion. The way she had reacted to seeing the hammer was the way you would react to seeing an old friend. Someone you cared about greatly. A possession you could never be parted from. The way her eyes lit up when she placed her delicate fingers on the long handle. It was almost beautiful to watch. She turned into a completely different person when she had it within her grip.
Kili narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. She didn't want them to know about it. Downplaying it. It was obvious to him, but the others would never know the difference. But why? Was she hiding something?
Emma made brief eye contact with Kili. She pleaded with her eyes for him to keep quiet. Reluctantly, he gave in and gave a soft nod before looking away.
"Indeed. Perhaps you should have borrowed a dwarven weapon instead. An elvish hammer seems ill-fitting for it's purpose." Thorin was obviously very proud in the war-hammers that were made by dwarves. Any weapon made by a dwarf was a better choice than an elvish one.
The softness in Emma's face faded instantly. She glared up at Thorin, her hand slowly forming into a fist. "That hammer was not made by a mere elf." She was insulted by the premise that it was made by anyone but her father. Aule was the greatest smith in all of Arda. There was no arguing that. "The smith can not be compared amongst men, elves, nor dwarves. Do not make the mistake of assuming such."
The darkness in her tone was similar to this morning. The atmosphere around her changed dramatically, causing the dwarves to freeze with a nervous caution. If they were not in the nude, they may have been inclined to reach for their weapons...but unfortunately they were scattered around the courtyard with their clothing.
The anger that had built up was almost immediately replaced by a headache that had her squeezing her eyes closed against the fading sunlight. On it's own accord, her hand came to her temple, pressing hard to alleviate the pain that was now invading her mind.
A ringing circulated between her ears, causing her to hiss in pain. It was like something was trying to push it's way into her head. Was it Sauron?
Emi.
A voice called for her.
Emi.
She wasn't sure whom the voice belonged to. It was like there was a echo of voices bouncing off the walls inside her head.
Emi.
It was getting louder. The voices pounding against her head like they were trying to get out, or maybe in. She wasn't entirely sure.
Emma!
That wasn't her name. Who was calling her that? The pain was sharpening to a fine point, stabbing into her mind with force.
Emma!
There it was again...that voice.
"Emma! What's wrong!?" Fili had been the first to jump from the fountain when the woman fell to her knees with her hands on the sides of her head. The look on her face told him she was in immense pain. She had opened her mouth to scream at one point, but no sound came out.
He didn't care that he had nothing on, or that he had just made a complete fool of himself moments ago, most likely ruining what little relationship there was between Emma and himself. At the moment he only cared about her safety. He had never seen her this way before and it terrified him.
The other dwarves had began to climb out of the fountain to help, grabbing something to cover themselves up before Emma came to.
"Oin get over here! Help her!" Fili's features were panicked as his head swiveled around to look at the almost deaf dwarf.
The older dwarf almost tripped as he pulled his pants up to his waist. "Aye, laddie. Let me have a look at her." Oin rushed over and put a hand on her forehead, apparently not having any trouble hearing the young Fili as he begged for help.
"She's burning up..." Oin didn't know how to help her. He had plenty of herbs that may help with the fever...but what ever was happening inside her head, he wasn't sure he could stop it.
"Please, help her!" Fili was holding onto Emma as she keeled over with her hands still on her head. He turned his gaze from Oin to Emma as she squirmed in his arms. He tightened his hold on her, pressing her shoulder against his chest. "Shhh everything is alright. Emma ,can you hear me?"
"What is happening to her?" Kili spoke up from behind Fili. He was at least able to put some clothes on, but didn't bother with a shirt as he looked upon Emma. Kili was starting to panic as much as his brother. He cared for her just as deeply and seeing her so distraught broke him.
"Send for help. Bofur, find Gandalf! Now!" Thorin called over as he looked down at the young woman. He was not sure what had happened exactly. She was laughing with them one second, then became angry at him the next...and now this. There was something off about the girl. She was not the same fragile creature they agreed to bring along with them.
"Perhaps there is something wrong with her abilities." Oin was trying to find every explanation for her symptoms.
Emma's arms suddenly fell from the sides of her head, one relaxing against Fili's arm. Her head hung low, her green eyes wide and glazed over.
"Emma?" Fili leaned down, putting a hand under her chin to look at her face. She didn't respond to him, not even blinking as he faced her. He grasped her face in his gentle hands, placing his thumbs on her flushed cheeks. "Emma wake up! Snap out of it!"
Nothing. She was in a catatonic state. Her normally vivid green orbs devoid of life. The anxiety that had taken hold of Fili heightened when she didn't respond to his voice or touch.
"Do something...Somebody, please, do something!" Fili looked around at the rest of his kin. They stood there, awkwardly watching the seen before them. They couldn't help even if they wanted to...and he knew it.
"Fili, we can do nothing for her..." Thorin hesitated before placing a hand on his nephews shoulder. "Gandalf will know what to do.."
"What if.." Fili started, but was interrupted by Bofur running back to the company with that very wizard hot on his heels.
"What happened? Tell me!" Gandalf immediately went to Emma, scooping her up into his arms and leaving Fili standing there with confusion and fear on his face.
"We were only talking...and then.." Kili was the one who stepped forward, placing a hand on his brothers shoulder. He looked at Fili with pity. He was sure they were both upset over Emma's current state, but Kili had never seen Fili look so afraid. It was the helplessness. Fili could usually protect her with a sword...but he could do little to help her with this. There was nothing physical to attack.
"I proclaimed her sword was made by the elves and..." Thorin's eyes looked to the ground in thought, forgetting his voice for a moment.
"And what!?" Gandalf had little patience when someone's life was on the line.
Thorin snapped back from his thoughts, his gaze hardening and shifting to Gandalf. "She became upset. Without warning she was bent over, holding her head."
Gandalf stared at Thorin momentarily before his eyes landed on Fili and Kili. His thoughts then wandered back to Emma...or Emi, whom she was beginning to transform into. He brought a large hand to the smaller woman's head. A cold sweat had surfaced upon her brow. The moment his flesh touched hers, there was a flash of blackness within his mind. The darkness was familiar. Too familiar. It was as he feared.
This may very well be beyond his power...but he would try.
The gray wizard closed his lids and let his mind set into his sorcery. His mouth moved on its own accord, speaking words that were unknown to the dwarves. He would use whatever means he could to help her...even if it was in vain.
00000000000000000000000000000000000
FIRST PERSON EMMA/EMI
The darkness was suffocating. It surrounded and enslaved me. Held me against my will. The voices pounded against my eardrum with a ferocity I could not keep at bay. I was helpless against it. Unwillingly I let the shadows invade my person. Let it touch every molecule that made me a physical being.
"That's right, child. Let the cold hands of death grip your soul."
I heard myself whimper. The voice was not Mairon or Sauron. Worse. It was Sarumon. He knew I was here. Knew I was with the dwarves and within the walls of Imladris. There was no hiding from him. Not when he was in league with Sauron. I wasn't sure how far his treachery had gone back...but now I was certain.
With the power of Sauron on his side, it was hard to fight against him. My mind was not as strong as it once was. I was still confused and frustrated. My heart was locked away with emotions that I had yet to sort out. It was a perfect opportunity to attack me. Neither could get to me physically, so why not go for the next best thing. My mind. My sanity.
"Give in. You can not fight it. You grow weak..." I could practically feel him smirking. Sarumon was a smug bastard. He knew he had a great resource of power, believing that he was capable of a great many things on his own, fearing only Sauron himself.
I couldn't open my eyes, I tried as hard as I could, but it felt as though they were nailed shut. I wanted to cry out, scream, or even argue, but suddenly my mouth and throat felt too dry to produce any sound.
He was right, I was weak. I was in the body of someone who was not the hardened warrior I should have been. Emi was hidden within the flesh of a human girl. I was hidden.
Stop that. I had to stop. I couldn't believe that. I am Emi. I am. I am Emi.
"No, girl. You are an abomination. Emi is dead. You...heh, well you are just a conjuring. A doll brought to life. A foolish soul put into a weakened shell."
The words were whispered into my ear. I felt the warmth of his breath tickle my ear like an unwanted spider crawling upon my skin. Why couldn't I fight this?
Maybe I was weak. That's why I helpless against this fight. I may have my weapon, I may have my memories...but that's where it ended. I was just a shell of my former self. I was the weak, sad, pathetic girl who had been raped, kidnapped, beaten, and damaged. I was Emma. Doing all that I could to make everyone happy while staying in the backyard of the spotlight. Being the polite, uninteresting, quiet girl that no one would know care to know or want. What had Oliver seen in me? Before him, I had been living a nice, solitary life. I didn't care about men. I didn't even look at them.
I was nothing.
Nothing.
A void.
A frigid cold engulfed me. The grasping of long fingers around my throat froze the air in my lungs. I couldn't get a breath. I was suffocating.
Dying.
I was giving up...and I should. Why live when I was nothing? Not even the dwarves thought I was worth much. I was just a means to an end. Only used for my seer powers. Powers I didn't even have in the first place.
They didn't care if I lived. Why would they? Without me here, they would have made it through to the mountain without problems, but with me in this place, I only made it worse.
I was a complication.
My body went limp as I let the hand around my throat finish me off. I deserved to be dead. That's what I was supposed to be anyway. Dead.
"You don't truly believe that do you?" Another male voice. One that was warm and inviting. One that I knew.
"Emi, The Frostbringer. The wielder of Nambalos, the white death. The petite Valar who could be as cold as ice, but care greatly for the beauty of the world around her. Loved by those you touched and feared by those who opposed you in battle. How could you believe that you are worth nothing?"
The hand around my throat stopped squeezing my neck and slowly pulled away from my skin. I was left warm and able to take in air.
A new sense of life filled my very soul.
"We are here for you, my daughter." A woman. Her voice was like honey. Sweet and thick with love. "Do no forget that there are those who love you."
My body heated up like I was suddenly placed into a pool of warm water. The bitterness of cold that had once taken hold of me vanished. Arms wrapped around my body, lovingly embracing me. I felt two bodies press against me and with a sigh, I was able to speak again.
"Mother...Father.."
"Fight, Emi. Fight for your right to live. Eru gave you that right. You would not have been brought here if he did not have a plan for you." Yavanna spoke warmly.
"You are stronger than this. Stronger than Sarumon. Stronger than him." Aule reassured me with a small squeeze to my shoulder.
It was so strange. Feeling this love. Feeling wanted. I took in everything they gave me. All thoughts of wanting to let it all end were out the window.
"Your friends, they are waiting anxiously. They fear for your life." Yavanna leaned back from the embrace and finally I was able to open my eyes. I looked upon my family with mirth. They were everything I remembered they were.
Beautiful.
"I...My friends?"
Right. I was with the dwarves. I had been talking to Thorin, right? Kili was there...and so was Fili. Why was I angry at them?
I suddenly remembered, but for some reason, the anger I had for them earlier seemed meager and unimportant.
My mother smiled and nodded, her chocolate curls bouncing softly. "Aye, your friends. You care for them deeply...and they feel the same for you. Some more so than others.."
"I don't understand..." Was she speaking of Fili? Infatuation and obsession was not how you showed someone you cared. It was only under the influence of Sauron that he felt that way.
"You'll figure it out soon enough. You have more important things to worry about." Aule patted my head lightly and smiled brightly.
"We must leave you now...and when we do, the darkness will come for you again." Yavanna was no longer smiling and the worry in her voice was obvious. Her dark green eyes watered lightly as she looked at me. It was the face a true mother would hold for a child she worried for.
Tears burned my eyes as she tried to give me a reassuring smile. It was easy to tell she only did so to make me feel more at ease.
"You must fight." Aule said sternly, capturing my attention. He was made of stone. He always had been. "You are stronger. You have great power. A power that can fight off this darkness." My father placed a hand on my cheek and smiled warmly. "Emi, my child, you can not let this evil take hold of you. Keep what you hold dear to you as close as you can. That will be your light."
"My light?" My light to beat the darkness.
A soft kiss from my mother had my green orbs landing back on her identical ones. "Goodbye, Emi...We love you more than you'll ever know.."
Th e light around us slowly began to fade, along with their bodies. Their faces were smiling when they disappeared from my sight.
"Farewell..." Then they were gone.
And almost immediately the darkness took hold. The warmth replaced by cold and the invasion of evil began to push at my sanity. A hand brushed against my neck with frozen fingers. I gasped when the hand took hold of my neck once again.
This time, however, I fought. I wanted to live.
I brought my hand up and grasped a clammy wrist. "Release me!"
"Do not be foolish, girl. You can not fight him. Give in!"
Something inside me warmed up. It coiled around my chilled bones and embraced my heart. I was not about to let this mere wizard take me for a weakling. I was not weak. I would never give in. Not to Sauron. He'd have to kill me again to get his way...and I'd put up one hell of a fight.
The wrist I held onto began to shake and quiver. The power inside me bubbling to the surface of my skin, turning the the flesh beneath my palm gray, then black. Sarumon released his hold on me with a hiss.
Now that I was free from his grip, I was able to think clearly, able to see in the darkness. I put my hand out in front of me and with a surge, white light began to dance around my fingers and swirl into the palm. The light intensified and poured out in all directions, chasing the darkness from me.
"You are weak, Sarumon. Sauron can only give you the power you want for so long before he starts to get bored with you...or find you as useless as I believe you to be. Then you'll have nothing. You'll be nothing."
"Be silent!" Looks like I struck a nerve.
"This is my mind, Sarumon. Mine. If you thought you could destroy me from the inside out, you were sorely mistaken."
With a flex of my hand, the white light exploded, giving that final push against the darkness that was trying to find its way back in. I was free of it. The power of my light was stronger than any darkness that could shadow the world. At least my mind was safe...for now.
The light was blinding, casting out the last of Sarumon's magic and giving me peace. I smiled, remembering that when I woke up, I would be surrounded by friends.
By people who loved me.
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My eyes fluttered as the light of the real world came into my view. Immediately I was aware that someone was holding me. The sky was directly in my sights, but a hand was carefully placed upon my forehead. My eyes landed on Gandalf, who happened to be the one holding me. His face looked concentrated and his lips muttered an ancient language that I understood all too well.
He was attempting to revive me. His face was almost in anguish, as though he didn't believe he would be capable of bringing me back, but was trying for the sake of the dwarves who I could hear muttering around us.
It was as my mother said. They were waiting for me, fearing that I may never come out of this. They did care. Their hard exteriors and outward appearance was not going to fool me ever again.
"Gandalf? Is she going to be alright?" I heard Kili ask from behind Gandalf. It was hard to see anyone else beside the wizard. He was so tall that he hid me from the view of others and them from me.
"Quiet boy! I'm trying to concentrate..." Sweat beaded on his forehead, which had me concerned. Why was he trying to so hard? Didn't he know I was awake.
Then it dawned on me that while the darkness had been keeping Gandalf out while Sarumon had me in his grasps, now my light was keeping him at bay just as well.
"What ever you're doing isn't working! Maybe we should-" Fili began, with a trembling anger in his voice.
"Enough! Sit down and be quiet!" Gandalf was obviously very annoyed with the two younger dwarves, who cared more than they should have for me. "If I have to hear one more word from either of you, I will cur-" I cut Gandalf off with a finger to his dry lips. The gesture startled him and he immediately grabbed my hand, thinking someone was striking him at first, but when he saw my small hands led to a face with a smile, he let out a sigh of complete relief.
"Emma...I thought I had lost you.." The wizard gently placed my hand onto my stomach. "Are you alright?"
"No, I am fine." He placed a hand on my back and helped me to sit up.
"You had us all very worried." I could tell Gandalf wanted to say more, but had to hold back due to the swarm of dwarves that had suddenly descended upon us.
Bofur leaned down, one knee on the stone ground, and smiled brightly at seeing me awake. "Miss Emma! You're alive! By my beard, it's a miracle!"
"Do not worry yourself Master Dwarf." With the help of Gandalf and Bofur, I was lifted to my feet.
Having solid ground beneath my boots, I sighed and wiped my brow. Though I had found myself relieved the ordeal was over, I found myself in a stranger situation. How was I going to explain what had just happened...without causing a stir or rift in the past. If Gandalf knew about Sarumon too early, it could cause things to happen quicker than it was supposed to.
"What happened, lass? We were so worried.." Balin stepped forward, now fully dressed. He gave a smile as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
I looked at him uncertain of what words I should produce from my mouth. Balin was the only one who seemed to know who or, at least, what I was...but the others had no clue. The only option was my cover story. I was a seer.
Ah! I smiled warmly and put on the sweetest demeanor I could muster up. With a tuck of a strand hair behind my ear, I hugged my arms to my body and looked away embarrassed.
"Sometimes my visions are a little more volatile than others. This one was particularly stressful on my mind..." I had to play it off as that. I hated lying, but they could not know what I was holding from them.
My eyes shifted to Gandalf, who knew better. He only nodded and tried to play it off the same.
"A vision? What did you see?" Leave it to Thorin to, once again, forget that I had almost died...of course he didn't know that so why blame him?
Thankfully I was quick enough to make something up. I could give away a few things that would never harm this journey.
"I saw stone. Stone that moved. It was as though the mountains themselves were shifting in place...but it was all I could make out. The rest was very confusing..." I was hoping that would give them what they wanted.
"What else did you see? Even if it confused you, maybe it means something to one of us.." Thorin stepped forward, not being satisfied with my answer.
"Uh...frying pan?" What? Did that really just come out of my mouth?
"A frying pan?..." Oh my gods. Thorin must think I'm insane.
"Aye, someone spoke of a frying pan." Shut up, shut up, shut up. I really needed to stay quiet. Play dumb! "It was very unforgiving..." I hissed and put a hand to my head. "It still hurts just thinking about it"
"My apologies, Miss Emma. I should have waited to inquire about your vision after you had rested. I just thought.."
Awww, Thorin was actually being nice. Be still my beating heart. I gave him a shy smile and rubbed the back of my head. "It's alright Thorin. I didn't mean to worry you all..."
"We're just glad no harm came to you." Kili stepped out from behind Gandalf and smiled at me.
I turned to look at him, remembering almost instantly the fight Fili and himself had just as I arrived. I tried not to frown, instead giving him a gentle smile in return. It wasn't their fault. Dark forces must have been playing a hand in this little affair. I just had to deal with it one step at a time. One incident at a time. The thought alone was exhausting.
Just as I took a step toward Kili, Fili happened to step into my view. He stood behind his brother with a stare that held torment. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair disheveled, the clothes he had were lazily put on. He couldn't hold his gaze with me. He just sighed and straightened quickly, while hardening his features. With a quickness he strode away from his brother and passed by his uncle.
"I'm going to pack." Fili said to his uncle before Thorin could even ask where he was heading.
That simple phrase reminded everyone that we were leaving in the morning, well before the sun would rise. Thorin watched Fili leave with pity hidden beneath his tempered gaze. He sighed and looked back to me and stepped closer.
In a hushed tone, he leaned in. "Are you still able to travel?"
I didn't hesitate. "Aye. I will make sure to get plenty of sleep tonight however...because I know you'll want me well rested."
Thorin smirked at that and put a hand on my head, patting it lightly. "That's my girl. Get something to eat and head to bed. I will wake you before we head out..."
For some reason I blushed. Men. They were only trouble rolled in trouble and dipped in even more trouble for a taste that was bound to cause you more harm than good.
With a nod I walked off, shyly hiding my expression from the others. I felt like I was being sent off by my father. Slightly humiliating...but not entirely unwanted.
Kili followed after me, walking beside me with silence. Within his arms was his gear he had quickly scooped up before he ran to catch up to me. I admit I wanted to say something to him that would put him in his place...but Kili and I were close. I just wasn't so sure I wanted to be any closer than friends. Fili and him fought over me like I was the last piece of meat on a plate.
Flattering...Kind of. However, I could not deny that thought of Fili fighting for my affection brought a small hint of excitement. Small hint. Very tiny. Almost microscopic.
"I should apologize..." Kili interrupted my thoughts.
With a sigh I stopped walking and looked at him, trying to give him my best smile. "Kili, I don't think that's necessary. I know how you both feel...I just.." How do I let him down without hurting his feelings?
Kili waved me off and smirked. "Don't say it. I understand. Men aren't exactly on your mind right now...and if they were, it wouldn't be me."
I blinked. What? "Kili, don't say something like that. I-"
"No, no. You can't fool me, lass..." Kili shifted the gear in his arms and started walking, keeping that smirk on his face. It was his way of hiding that pain. I could just tell by the way his eyes became bittersweet.
...Why did everyone seem to think I was already in love with Fili? That was the only insinuation from that. Was I blind? What was I missing that everyone seemed to pick up on?
Shaking my head, I ran to catch up to Kili. There wasn't much to say after that. Things were going to be weird for awhile, but my head had to be on the journey and not on the men I cared for.
Once the corridor began to split, Kili stopped to look at me. "Get some sleep. I'm sure the elf brought you something to eat...he cares greatly for your well-being."
"Aye, he does." I shifted under Kili's gaze. "Make sure they don't leave me behind, will you? I'm supposed to babysit you lot until Gandalf meets back up with us."
"Of course. Sleep well, Emma." Kili cleared his throat and stepped forward. He gave me a peck on my cheek before turning and heading down the opposite halls as my own room.
As I watched Kili leave, I sighed and slumped against the wall. It was very frustrating having to manage this journey and deal with all this testosterone at the same time. Frustrating? Ha! It was infuriating.
I closed my eyes, trying to mediate my thoughts...but try as I might, all I could think about was how upset Fili looked when he walked away earlier. He didn't even speak to me. I should be angry with him, but it would seem my heart just wasn't in it.
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The next morning came all too quickly. I made sure to sleep in my travel clothes after I stuffed my face with the cheese and bread Elrond left for me. It was a tad bit uncomfortable, but as soon as I curled my blankets around me it mattered not what I was wearing. I just wanted the feeling of being warm and snug to be etched into my brain before we ran off to sleep on the hard, cold ground of the forests and fields.
Boo to that.
Waking up- that was not an option, but it came non-the-less. A shake of my arm brought me out of my blissful dreams. My eyes fluttered open to meet the blue eyes of a very annoyed looking Fili. Annoyed because he probably acted like a big baby about having to come wake me up and was put in his place.
Ha, good. Suffer!
"Ah, so they sent you. How ironic..." Ironic because my dreams had been filled with a great many wonderful things...but it was particularly filled with a certain blonde dwarf...much to my distaste.
"Ironic?..." He looked unamused, most likely because he was trying very hard to seem uninterested with me at the moment.
"Never mind." His hand was still sitting on my arm, to which I quickly flicked it away to get up.
Pushing the blankets away I quietly moved to the night stand and lit a candle. After a quick look in a mirror, I managed to pull my belongings from under the bed, refusing any help from Fili in the process, and threw my pack over my shoulders. Nambalos was safely strapped to my pack, a linen partially covering it to hide it's wonder from prying eyes.
"I don't see why Kili was so excited about your new weapon...looks like a big staff.." Fili went to touch the exposed handle of Nambalos.
"Don't!" I grabbed hold of his hand and pushed him against the wall with a hand firmly on his chest.
I had nearly forgotten why Elrond had the ancient war-hammer wrapped within a cloth. Bare skin would frost-bite on contact. Fili's eyes widened at my action, but the closeness of our bodies took any concern, confusion, or anger from either of our minds.
I should have let him touch it.
His blue eyes searched my own as I released his hand and tried to take a step away. Fili caught my waist with his rough hands and pulled me back.
No, no, no, no! Why did I seem to find myself in this situation with him.
"Emma...I know you don't want me. Not right now...You've made that clear. I may be asking too much, but...may I kiss you?" Fili's blue orbs were shadowed by the light of the candle that danced against the walls, casting a romantic atmosphere that I wanted to snuff out immediately.
"I- Fili...we shouldn't...I can't..." The words that I had carefully chose in my head came out in broken speech.
Why couldn't I just tell him to shove off? Preferably off a cliff.
His leaned down cautiously, bringing himself inches from my face. So close that I almost swooned right then and there. We exhaled together. Our breath mixing together to create a spark that had me pushing my hand against him in fear. The air in my throat hitched when I tried to inhale.
"I wont hurt you...I just...want something to remember of this place before we leave." It sounded innocent enough right?
"You mean besides this being The Last Homely House East of the Sea...not very convincing Fili." I took a step back, trying to put distance between us before I did something stupid.
Fili was not about to let me go. He stepped with me and gently, almost lovingly, brought his hands up to my face. His fingers rested at my nape while his thumbs lightly brushed my cheeks as he held me in place. A gasp escaped my lips, he leaned down once again, pausing before his nose touched my own.
"I care little about elves, Emma. I want to remembered what could have been. Once we leave this place, we have no guarantees that we will be safe. No chance for me to be this relaxed with you...to be alone with you. Not until we have taken Erebor." The huskiness in his voice made my eyelids droop slightly.
Gods he was like poison. The more you took, the faster you would fall. Although, he did have a point. How could I deny him the last chance to have some happiness?
Without thinking much more into it, I nodded.
The sorrow in his eyes lifted, replaced by pure excitement. I was surprised that he didn't just swoop in for the kill, but instead took his time. He let his thumb caress my cheek, letting the appendage slide to my bottom lip. The pad of his thumb brushed the flesh of my lip, causing me to shudder against his light touch.
The git smirked and used his other hand to grasp the back of my neck. With one pull he had my mouth carefully making contact with his. The softness of his lips on mine brought anwilling whimper from the back of my throat.
The simple noise had him pulling my flush against him. My body curved perfectly into his own. The moment was lost in a sea of euphoria when I foolishly opened my mouth to his. Immediately he deepened the kiss into something more passionate.
A cough near the door had me pushing away from him in a rush. With my face still red with embarrassment and excitement, I turned to see Bilbo standing in the doorway. The hobbit was almost as embarrassed as myself.
"Right. Thorin sent me to make sure Emma was awake.." Bilbo looked everywhere except at us.
Fili smoothed out his tunic quickly before clearing his throat. "Aye, I was just apologizing for my actions yesterday."
"I see...well I'll just be..heading in that direction." Bilbo awkwardly walked away, keeping his head down before talking to himself about knocking before stepping into any room.
His retreating footsteps were the only thing heard in the room. Both Fili and myself had nothing to say. We had just been caught.
I shouldn't be so upset...I was just indulging him, right? Nothing to be concerned about. Nothing at all...
"Let's get going, lass." Fili tried balancing the blush on his face with his overly manly command before heading for the door.
I had to smile. He was still a real arse, but I could see why a woman could fall for him.
"Fili." I rushed to catch up with him, making sure to blow out my candle quickly and shut my door.
He stopped in the hall and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Aye, lass?"
Coming up beside him I gave him a dazzling smile. "Apology accepted."
Fili only chuckled before escorting me the remainder of the way. Nothing was said, but I knew that what ever this was between us wouldn't just go away. As much as I wished it would for the sake of the journey and for the sake of my heart, it was sure to linger.
I still had my doubts about Fili's true feelings. They were still being influenced by the dark powers of Sauron...weren't they?
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