Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece; that belongs to Eiichiro Oda. The Song is Hold On by Chord Overstreet, and I felt it kind of fit in the story on this occasion. There's a version with a rain background on Youtube I listened to.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has favourites, followed and reviewed. It's nice to see such support!

WARNING: Chronic nightmares about death. Mistrust towards adults because of past abuse.

Do Garp and his training count as something that requires a warning?

Chapter 4

It was nearly New Year's Day when he arrived.

Everyone was terrified of him, hoping against hope that maybe he wouldn't come this year. But he did not care about the bandits' wishes. Nor did he care about using the door. Instead, he crashed through the wall as if there wasn't a functioning entrance his size not two metres to his left.

"Bwahahaha, it's unusual for you to call me to come Dadan." Monkey D Garp laughed, brushing some rubble off his shoulders. Fuck he's huge.

Everyone turned a betrayed look at their head honcho. Even Ace looked as though he couldn't believe Dadan would betray them like this. Sabo decided to steal some of the meat off his plate since he wasn't paying attention. It's got to be his fault for the fact their appetite had expanded to a similar size of a D's. They hadn't even noticed it had done so until they saw how little the bandits were eating in comparison.

It returned his attention to them to glare at them, but it wasn't kept. Garp had seen his grandson.

"Ace! Why aren't you greeting your beloved Grandpa? I've even arrived in time for your birthday. Bwahaha." Garp grinned, coming over he did a double-take at the sight of another child but didn't get to question their presence.

"No, go away Shitty Gramps! You're just going to try and make me a Marine, and I'm not gonna be one!" He shouted.

"Don't be so rude! You're going to be a Marine and you're going to like it. Fist of Love!" It missed as Sabo dragged his friend out of its path. It broke the planks Ace were standing on instead. "Huh?"

"My, my," they said, smiling so falsely sweet it almost gave them cavities. "If marines abuse their grandchildren, then I truly fear for future generations."

Everyone was stricken silent by the accusation. They stood up and half bowed, half curtsied the Marine Vice-Admiral. "I would say it is a pleasure to meet you, but I am afraid that statement may just be simply incorrect." Acting like a noble grated on them, but it's keeping them distracted. "I will be taking my leave now. Au revoir." The French sounded fancy enough and they knew it would confuse the adults long enough for them to grab Ace and get out of there.

As soon as they're out the door, they're running because they knew their life depended on it. "That's your grandfather?" They asked along the way. They were heading in a different direction than they would to the Grey Terminal. They weren't eager to go back there for a while yet.

"Yeah, he's shitty but really strong." He rubbed his head. "Those Fists of Love really hurt."

Disguising pain as affection struck a really wrong cord in Sabo. It reminded them too strongly of the disciple they'd receive and everyone saying it's for their own good. They didn't say anything about that as they just kept running.

Garp reached them eventually and plucked them up off the ground in his huge hand. Ace tried smacking himself free with his pipe, but the hits were like harmless bug bites to the rival of the Pirate King. Sabo considered bringing out their knife, but they didn't actually want to hurt Ace's grandpa nor anger the Vice-Admiral.

"So, you went and got a friend and annoyed some Child Slavers, huh Ace?" He grinned. "Bwahaha, already dealing out justice and recruiting more Marines. I'm so proud!"

"I'm not going to be a Marine!" They both chorused.

"Bah, of course, you are. Come on, let's go do some training. Your friend can join in too."

Training sucked.

"So, you're where he got the habit of stretching from," Garp said after Ace fell asleep. "It's a good habit, keep it up."

They grunted at him where they lay in a puddle of pain next to Ace. They didn't trust Garp, which made it harder to fall asleep, but it was clear he truly cared about Ace. So, he got a part of a pass in general. The other part was because he didn't blink an eye at them being they, instead of just him or her.

"You spoke like a noble. What's a noble's kid doing living in the Grey Terminal?" He asked.

"I'm not a noble." They kind of lie, she never was even if he always was. "Just snuck into High Town enough to know people seem to listen to 'em. Figured it would give you enough pause to get out of there."

Garp hummed and shimmied in his spot. They flinched at the movement. He clearly expected it. "You were abused, weren't you?" It's not even a question, he already knew they were.

They nodded anyway. He was just checking if they'd known they were.

"You don't trust adults. You flinch whenever you see one move. Dadan told me how you acted when Magra came to follow up in his treatment for that bullet wound." He gestured to the knobbly scar on the inside of their arm. "You expect every touch from one to hurt. It's pretty clear you're touched starved too from how much you hug Ace and lean into his touches."

They bit their lip and nodded again. They knew that. What was he getting at with it?

"I won't send you back to your family, brat." They jolted at the sentence. "I'd stay out of High Town for as long as you can too. Your death was a very popular topic and the investigation on your killer was a dead end. They'd reopen it at any chance they can reasonably get."

He knew. Garp knew who they were. But he wasn't going to send them back? The confusion must have been obvious because he kept talking.

"Ace is happier than I've ever seen him, and it's obvious why." He said as he leaned forward slowly to stoke the fire of their camp. They tensed up but didn't flinch at the movement. "I do care about my grandson, Sabo."

The fire crackled and Ace turned over in his sleep. There's an impression of a smile on his face. Hopefully, he was having a pleasant dream.

"I don't doubt that." They admitted. "I can see you love him, and I know you're just preparing him for the tough future ahead. It's just… I love him too." They held in the tears. Supposedly healthy to just let them out or not, they didn't want to cry in front of him. "He's the first person to touch me and not hurt me. I don't like that Fist of Love thing you tried. Pain shouldn't mean love."

Garp nodded in easy acceptance. "I won't do it then."

The conversation finished; Sabo finally got to go to sleep. The training was supposed to continue in the morning, and they knew it was going to be hellish again. No matter the accordance and understanding they had just struck.

New Year's Eve was spent recovering from all the wacky ways Garp decided to train them while he drank with the bandits. Whether it was fighting monkeys, dropping them down into ravines or tossing them out to sea and making them swim back.

Sabo really thanked her memories for letting them be at least able to swim, even if it wasn't very well since their body had never done it before.

The number of times they were chucked back out into the sea to fix their problem was too many to bother counting. They just knew it was far too many and their limbs felt like numb jelly afterwards. Ace's grin of accomplishment when he realised that he was a lot better at something than them was nice but a little aggravating. Their pride was soothed when Garp threw him in a river full of saltwater crocodiles. His expression was funny enough to still laugh at him when it happened.

Though they were not looking forward to when they upgraded to the intermediate swimming class too.

Sabo remembered Garp mentioning Ace's birthday when they decided to see if they could feel their limbs. They could, and it hurt, but it was still preferable than to feel nothing in their legs.

"Hey Ace," They started. Ace groaned, showing he was listening. "When is your birthday? Your old man said something about it."

"Tomorrow." He replied, not sounding enthusiastic. One part of them wanted to say it's because he's tired, another knew it was likely because he didn't like it. They didn't bother with trying to remember the reasons.

They sat straight up, ignoring the pain it caused their aching body. "What do you mean it's tomorrow? Shiftry, I don't have a present for you!" They tried to stand and managed after some failed attempts.

"Shiftry?" Ace muttered sounding confused but he metaphorically shrugged it off and put it as another weird thing of Sabo's. "You don't have to get me a present. That's not something the bandits do."

"Well, I'm not the bandits." They shot back, stealing Ace's pipe to use as a walking stick. They didn't fall this time. "I'm getting a present for you, deal with it."

"Why?" He asked, sitting up himself.

They caught themself on the wall so they could look back without falling. They made an inquisitive noise, much easier than using words. Ace looked awkward in his pose. He was more used to his grandfather's training, so he wasn't wincing as much as they were, but that wasn't why he looked awkward. It was more that he couldn't seem to understand. He looked confused at them, but he also wasn't looking at them or sitting still.

"Why are you getting me a present? It doesn't matter." He clarified.

"Cause I'm glad you were born. I'm pretty sure that's why people celebrate birthdays." They responded without hesitation, then they looked off in the distance actual considering it a bit more. "Or they're used to celebrate surviving another year. Both are good enough reasons for me to do it."

"Tch, you never make sense Sabo." Ace said, shaking his head but getting up. "Now give me back my pipe."

Energy filled them, their limbs no longer felt so weak or pained, and they grinned back at him. They ran out of the room. "Then come and take it, jungle boy."

Sabo hoped the next year would be better than this one. The last one was already so much fun, even though they almost died during it.

It was near the end of January when they actually managed to get a gift for Ace.

Still, giving a boy a flower was weird. Not to mention nerve-wracking, boys don't usually like flowers. Sabo just hoped Garp was right about this. They were going to shave him bald if it didn't work.

Dadan had gotten them actual girl's clothes and helped them relearn how to do their hair as some kind of New Year's gift. It was weird for them to get a gift on Ace's birthday, but he said he didn't mind. His tells for lying weren't there so he really mustn't have been bothered.

Still, finally having a proper skirt felt so right. And it was fun to do little braids when waiting for the meat to cook. They still considered it too short though. It's weird to miss being able to sit on it when it's technically never been that long for them or him.

Ace drew their attention back to the matter at hand. The flower that was supposedly his mum's favourite, which her memories supported, and it was the parent Ace loved too, also supported by her memories.

"Why are you shoving a flower in my face? That's weird, even for you Sabo." He asked.

"Late birthday gift. Garp said Rouge liked these so I thought you might like it too." They admitted, glaring at the ground, face aflame. "It's stupid, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-."

They tried to retract the present, but the flower was stolen from their grip. After looking up in shock at the action, they corrected the thought to be 'accepted' rather than stolen. They made a very unintelligent noise as Ace put the flower in his hair. Threading the bare stem into the top of the braid he let them put in so it wouldn't immediately fall back out.

They say let, more like they had to win a spar before he'd let them. And maybe sit on him while they did it. But he didn't take it out afterwards, so they considered that its own win. They carefully don't consider the possibility that he just doesn't know how to take it out.

"Stop gaping and come on. I want to try hunting one of those stupid crocodiles this time." Ace said, carrying on in their path.

They followed after him and carefully blocked the memories she had of baby crocodiles. Including things like the cute 'pew pew' noises they'd make and how squishy they felt to hold. Why did she have to consider their most dangerous dinner to date cute?

They caught one, and no one was eaten. There also wasn't any guilt over it. They considered that a major win. Along with the fact that Ace was still wearing their flower. She had liked Hibiscuses the most too. They'd reminded her of home.

Sabo could agree with that. Ace smiled back at them from where he was holding the front half of the crocodile, the red flower looked brighter from being contrasted against his dark hair.

It was February when Ace asked them when their birthday was.

"Uhh." Was the very intelligent noise coming out of their mouth as they desperately tried to remember their own birthday. Ace's was easy to remember, the Ace of Spades is the first card of the deck and January first is the beginning of the year. They couldn't remember their own for the life of them though.

"You don't even remember?" Ace looked so disappointed in them. "Seriously?"

"Well, I never paid attention to the date before! Never had a reason to keep track of it either." Sabo didn't mention how there was always a social-climbing party their parents held and gifts that were never for them. With all the bribery going on behind the scenes, it blended in with the other events. They didn't like their birthday much like Ace hadn't.

"Can you remember anything about when it was?" Ace asked, rubbing his temple. They took a little offence to that.

"It was near the beginning of the year." They admitted. They also knew it wasn't in October because that was her birthday, not his. But if they think of it like that, it was New Year's Day when they had woken up. That was Ace's birthday though. They couldn't take that from him.

Ace did not seem happy they couldn't even give him a month. To be fair, she had never been good with birthdays either. It took her over a decade and a half before she could even remember all of her own brothers' and her parents' birthdays. She'd probably forgotten the date of her own birthday when she was younger too.

"We're the same age, right?" It was rhetoric but they nodded anyway. "Right and Dadan getting you that girly stuff could probably count as her birthday gift to you- SHIT!" They jumped at the sudden shout. "I didn't get you a birthday present, fuck."

Wait, was he? "My birthday probably hasn't even passed yet. If it did it doesn't matter-."

"No!" Ace cut them off. "You don't even remember your birthday, but I know you're going to remember mine cause you're weird like that. We can share it, so you won't forget again." There's no argument in his tone. "You got me a late present so I can get you a late present too. And it's going to be better than yours."

They snorted at that. He was still wearing a hibiscus in his hair, though the first one had wilted a week ago. This was the third. He went and bought another in the city after he couldn't wear it anymore. Honestly, they're tempted to just buy and maintain a bush. It would probably cost less in the long run.

"It's totally going to be better! Just you wait and see, Sabo." He shouted at them, taking it as a challenge.

"We'll see Ace." They smiled. "Just know that you won't have this advantage next year."

A feral grin split Ace's face at the prospect of it being a continued challenge. "Loser has to do all the winner's chores for a week!"

"Remove laundry from that and you've got a deal." They did not want to wash Ace's underwear or his socks. Hopefully, the fact that Sabo wore more articles of clothing, i.e., shorts and a skirt along with a long coat and shirt as opposed to Ace just wearing shorts and a shirt, would help him accept it.

The prospect of tripling his laundry load was enough to make him agree to the condition. Honestly, they had no problems with preparing meat and getting covered in its blood and guts in the process, but washing another's underwear was just a no-no.

"Oh, and thanks for letting me have your birthday too." They said, giving a quick, second long hug and running away. They were going to try hunting snakes today and they were eager to try learning to cook them.

Sabo carefully doesn't think about how cute some snakes could be. Why did she have to deal with her fear of snakes by learning to love them instead?

There's a storm outside when they were woken up by the nightmare. They'd almost forgotten they used to have it, the last one had happened in December, last year. With it being the first of March, that means it was at least two months ago. A big difference to the two-week gaps they'd had before then.

Sabo pulled their legs in, digging their nails into the limbs. They felt the pin-picks of pain and the pressure on their intact midriff. The crashes of thunder and flashes of lightning combined with the pounding of rain created enough white noise to block the memory of that person's voice.

She was dying, why the hell had that person thought it okay to blame and berate her for the crash? It wasn't even her fault.

They gasped in a breath then quickly shoved their face into their knees. Ace was still asleep, and they didn't want to wake him up. Last time they managed to successfully blame the nightmare on the almost dying, but he shouldn't have to wake up for her death. He was already helping them in just giving them more time between each repeat it seemed.

It didn't matter. They've dealt with it before; they could do it again.

They managed to get back to sleep, but they wished they didn't when they woke up after an even worse nightmare. She wasn't even in it at all.

Watching Ace die had never felt so painful.

Thankfully, he didn't wake up when they put their head on his chest. It was intact. It moved when he breathed, and they could hear his heartbeat. This actually reminded them of a song she had liked. Though they could only remember two and a half stanzas of it. Or would the bridge and chorus count for more than that? They leave the question unanswered. It didn't matter.

They sang it in a whisper, so the rain would prevent Ace from hearing it, trying to drown out the memory of their most precious person dying. The song choice really hit too close to help.

"Loving and fighting, accusing, denying,
I can't imagine a world with you gone.
The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of,
I'd be so lost if you left me alone.

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat,
Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me.

Hold on, I still want you.
Come back, I still need you.
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right,
I swear to love you all my life.
Hold on, I still need you."

They didn't see Ace staring at them, but they did feel when his hand came up to run through their hair. It shouldn't have been so soothing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." They gasped.

Ace didn't say anything, but he kept playing with their hair. In the morning they beat each other up with their pipes like usual. It wasn't brought up, thankfully.

In this story, there will be Ace & Sabo (best friends/siblings) and Ace/Sabo. I've never written romance before and honestly, I don't think it'll be a big focus but I know it'll be present.

I see Sabo's and Ace's relationship as a weird, malformed Venn diagram in this fic. There's a perfect circle in the middle labelled "Best Friend" with two malformed 'circles' called "Romantic/Sexual" and "Twin/Sibling" because frankly, neither of them understands those two 'circles' and their attempts to draw them sucked.

I mostly just want to point out that neither thinks "Sibling/Twin" when thinking "Romance/Sexual" and vice versa. They're both possessive little gremlins for each other and almost definitely too co-dependent for their own good.

Also, I find myself thinking of Ace as a possessive little shit/trash gremlin surprisingly a lot. It never happened before this story. I also find myself wanting to call Luffy a little shit too. All in the most endearing way possible, of course.