Chapter Twenty-Two: Pillow Talk

I hadn't been able to get any sleep by the time I heard footsteps creaking across the downstairs.

"Really, there's no need," I heard Rex argue quietly. "The barn is fine."

"Nonsense," Cut chuckled in return. "How long has it been since you've slept in a real bed, Rex?"

"I haven't been on leave in-"

"I'm not talking about barracks," the farmer cut him off, pausing. "Have you never slept in a real bed?"

"The one's I've been in have felt real enough," Rex responded at an attempt at humor, but I could hear him huffing slightly in frustration.

Cut sighed. "Come on." The footsteps moved up the stairs, stilling outside my door. I stayed still under the covers, my eyes looking out through the wafting curtains at the night sky.

I felt Rex's signature jump as the door creaked open, revealing my form under the blankets. "Relax," Cut assured. "Suu told her about you sharing. I hope it's okay. It's all we have."

"It's-" Rex floundered for words, clearly uncomfortable and a little peeved at Cut's obvious plan to force us to interact. "The barn is really, honestly fine."

I took the opportunity to sit up in bed, looking over my shoulder at them. "It's okay, Captain," I said quietly, squinting at the dull light in the hallway. "I got some rest in. You take the bed. I'll take watch in case any more droids show up."

Cut frowned at me, but allowed Rex to walk into the room while I rose from the bed. "Kida," he tried from the doorway. "We both know you don't need to be actively watching to tell if something is coming. We've dealt with the droids. Rest."

I gave him a smile, seeming to surprise him at my lack of shock over his words. I didn't even try to deny my force sensitivity. They weren't stupid. Maybe I was being too obvious, all this time.

"Really, Cut," I started. "It's okay. Thank you."

He huffed a breath through his nose, but nodded, leaving the door slightly ajar as he moved to the master bedroom to join his wife. Rex brushed his hand over the soft sheets on the other side of the bed, his face wistful.

"Have you really never slept in a real bed?" I asked, kneeling to pick up my clothes. I became aware that I was only in an oversized shirt, but I didn't really care.

Rex didn't answer my question, his eyes darting up as I moved to leave the room, my things bundled in my arms. "Kida," he started, his voice small. "I can't get my shirt off on my own." He averted his gaze, embarrassed.

I looked at him for a moment in silence before stuttering," R-right." Dropping my things on a dresser, I moved over and carefully took the sling off of Rex's arm. "Those bruises aren't looking great," I commented, eyeing his neck.

He shrugged with his good arm. "I've had worse."

My eyebrow lifted at his joke. "Yeah, like right now." Together, we got his shirt off of him, the sling going back over his smooth skin. It was dark compared to my own, despite my having gained a bit of a tan due to my time on Tatooine. I swallowed, chastising myself for staring too long. "Well," I said after clearing my throat. "You should get some rest."

I moved away when he didn't speak, his gaze on the part of the bed I'd been laying in. "Did you sleep at all?" His voice caused me to pause at the door.

"A bit," I lied.

"No, you didn't."

I turned, giving him a look. "And you would know that how?"

He didn't give me an answer, merely sighing at me. "Stay, Kida. Get some rest."

"A couch downstairs is fine," I argued. "You're injured, so stay up here." I quieted for a moment before muttering, "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

He lifted his brows at me. "It's no different than sleeping in the barracks, Kida." Except that I'm a female who is rather unclothed at the moment and seeming to be falling for you. I didn't say any of that, of course. "Stay," he insisted, gesturing to the bed. "I'll stay on my side."

I cleared my throat, swallowing past the lump that had formed there, before grudgingly closing the door. Plopping my things back onto the dresser, I made my way through the moonlit room and back to my side of the bed. Rex eased down into the covers, wincing slightly at the movement.

I couldn't help but smile as he sighed happily, feeling the gentle give of the bed and soft sheets. I slipped in next to him, careful to keep from touching him. Still, I could feel his body heat radiating under the covers. I was grateful for it, really. Nights got chilly on this planet.

"How's your first experience with a real bed?" I asked, trying to ease some of the awkward tension from the air.

He sighed, his happiness radiating through the force. "It's ruined the barracks for me."

I chuckled, but a bit of sadness mixed in with his joy. Maybe it really had ruined the barracks. "Well," I tried. "If you're ever on leave and want a real bed, my apartment is always open."

I felt his surprise, his head lifting from the pillow to look at me. I rolled to look at him in panic.

"I didn't mean-" I stuttered, clearing my throat quickly before rolling away. "I'm usually not there anyways. Someone ought to use it."

What a shitty attempt at a safe. I hadn't meant it like that. Or had some part of me intended it?

Either way, Rex chuckled lowly, surprising me. "That's a tempting offer. Though I fear it'd give off the wrong impression."

I hummed lowly, mentally slapping myself to get it together. "We wouldn't want that," I mumbled into my pillow, wishing I would just fall asleep already.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I didn't realize that staying would invite a full-fledged conversation," I grumbled, but immediately regretted my words when I felt him recoil slightly. I sighed, turning over to look at him. "What's your question?"

He hesitated for a moment, his golden gaze scanning my face. "Okay, I actually have a few questions," he corrected, giving me a small smirk.

"Now you're pushing it," I responded, returning the grin. "I can't guarantee I'll answer everything." I curled up on my side, watching Rex as he turned his head to look at the ceiling in the dark.

"What were you and General Kenobi talking about when we were searching for Grievous?" I was shocked at his words. "You said you'd think about something. What was he asking of you?"

I sighed through my nose. "To officially join the GAR. Obi-wan thinks I'd be a good addition."

Rex turned and looked at me. "Are you going to?"

I shrugged. "I haven't decided yet."

"You're considering it?"

"Don't you think it's something I should think through before I answer?" I questioned. "You said yourself that this war is a pivotal moment in history."

"I didn't mean it…like that," he trailed off, trying to find the words.

I sat up in bed, looking down at him. "You mean you didn't mean it for me. I don't have a place in this pivotal moment."

"I didn't say that," he argued.

I rolled my eyes and turned over, my back to him again. "You didn't have to."

It was his turn to sit up now. "I think you're twisting my words because you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry with you, Rex." But maybe I was. He'd basically confessed his love for me to Cut mere hours after cutting me down in the barn. I didn't want him to openly say he loved me in that moment. I wasn't ready for it. But at least some balls to admit feelings would have been nice, rather than him being a jagyc all evening.

"Yes, you are," he insisted, his eyes downcast. "And you have a right to be." That was unexpected. I looked over my shoulder at him as he continued. "I've been nothing but rude to you, and I'm sorry. I've just been...it's been a lot lately. And my life is the GAR. All the codes and laws...I've just been struggling with it. Could you possibly forgive me?"

I breathed slowly, my eyes flickering over his tortured expression. "I'll think about it," I said with a light tone, turning back to face the wall again. Despite my vague answer, I felt him smile behind me. "You said you had more than one question."

He chuckled lowly, clearly understanding that I'd forgiven him. Of course, he didn't know that I'd heard his conversation with Cut. That certainly helped his case.

"Why can't you sleep?"

"I'm trying to decide if I should take Obi-wan's offer," I explained with a sigh. "And the usual dreams and thoughts. I'm sure you know them."

"I do. Do you have a reaccuring one?"

"Jango," was all I said. "You?"

"Mine is usually about my men. Losing them because I failed. I made the wrong call." He huffed a breath. "Though lately I've had a lot of that Zillo beast. That was something I couldn't explain, which is always rattling."

I lifted my eyebrows, even though he couldn't see my face. "I heard about that thing rampaging through Coruscant."

"You weren't on planet?"

I shook my head. "No. I was on Tatooine delivering a bounty for Jabba." He didn't speak, making me roll over and look at him. "You don't approve."

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"Maybe not," I joked. "But I'm still curious."

He sighed. "General Skywalker thinks the Hutts are filthy slavers."

"They are," I allowed. "But Jabba always treated me well."

"As a slave."

"Yes, Rex," I leaned up on my elbow to look at him. "As a slave. There were worse masters. And he never did to me what he sometimes did to others. He let me be smart. Let me learn languages." I sighed. "I'm not saying he's morally good or anything. And maybe I'm not either. But a job is a job."

"Would you take any job?"

"No. Jango taught me to take jobs that meant something to me," I explained, leaning back on the pillows. "Even if the only meaning is filling my pockets."

He hummed, leaning back into the pillows beside me. His mind was reeling, so I stayed silent, staring at the moon beams that danced across the ceiling.

"How long have you been force-sensitive?"

I let out a surprised laugh, turning over to look at him. "You know that's not something that just pops up, right? You're born with it."

He tilted his head to meet my gaze. "So you don't deny it."

"No," I whispered. "I don't. You're not stupid, Rex. What's the point of trying to hide it, if you already know?"

"Do the jedi know?"

"The council. They don't particularly like me."

"Yet General Kenobi wants you to join the military?"

I shrugged. "He's an exception. Also I think he wants to keep an eye on me."

Rex chuckled, looking at the ceiling. "What can you do? Can you do what the Generals can?"

"No," I laughed. "I haven't been trained at all. So it's just...feelings. Senses. Sometimes dreams."

He was quiet. "You can sense feelings?" His voice was small.

I rolled onto my side, the warmth from his body under the blankets lulling me towards sleep. "Yes."

"So you could tell...in the barn earlier...you could tell I was lying when I said those horrible things?"

I paused, my breath hitching. "No. You were actually pretty convincing. I think it was because you believed them yourself." I looked over my shoulder at him. "Though I'm glad to know they weren't the truth." I thought for a moment. "Can I ask you a question?" Rex hummed in response. "What drives you to stay with the GAR? And don't say honor."

The captain chuckled before sighing. "It's all I know, Kida. It's my family. My life. And I meant what I said at the table. I'm part of something massive that will influence the fate of the galaxy."

I processed his words. "Do you think I should join the GAR?"

He breathed out through his nose slowly. "I think you should do what is best for you."

"That doesn't answer my question," I scowled, tilting my head to look at him. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused.

"I can't answer what's best for you. Only you can know that." Wise words, but not the ones I wanted.

"Do you want me to join? Would you...want me there...fighting with you?"

"It's always an honor to fight with you, Kida. Watching you is...like watching a dancer. You're fluid. Fierce. Unstoppable."

"Is that a yes?"

"I don't know. I enjoy your company. Love it, even. But I worry that I may...get distracted."

I could help but smirk as I rolled to my stomach to look at him. "That seems like a you problem."

"Maybe it is." I laughed openly now, seeing his own sparkle of humor in his eyes. "Why are you asking me this? Are you leaning towards joining?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "I meditated on it. The force kept showing me these visions." We both seemed surprised by how much I was opening up. "I saw Jango. Saw him get dragged into this war by Dooku. Saw him die." I sighed. "I saw so many die. Innocents. Creatures that had no place in this war, but were involved against their will anyways." I thought back to my visions. "But I saw the Republic helping. I saw the jedi help farmers, banding together with bounty hunters. I saw you on a moon, fighting the Separatists with Echo and Fives...and someone called Hevy." His eyes widened at my words, but I continued. "I saw the victims of Grievous-children-that he massacred because they were jedi." I swallowed. "I saw Dooku...and a darkness surrounded him that I've never felt before. It wasn't just him. It was something else. Something old and powerful." I turned to look Rex in the eyes. "It was the evil you talked about at the table. One that you couldn't imagine. It's actually what you're fighting."

Rex was quiet for a moment, sensing the fear rising in me again, the visions returning to the forefront of my mind. "What was Obi-wan's argument for having you join?"

The question took me off-guard. "He said that I care about people. And that the Separatists are hurting people everywhere."

"He's right. On both accounts."

I rolled my eyes. "Everyone on this planet acts like they know me."

"I do know you." I gave him a disbelieving look, but he decided to argue his case. "I know that you polish your pistols daily to a point of obsession to make sure they'll never misfire on you. I know you collect speeders for no reason other than to have options, even though you pretend it's to show off. I know you're afraid of attachment because you've had so much loss in your life. I know you survived slavery for years on your own because you are one of the smartest and most resilient people I know. Not to mention you're a trained hunter, verging on the title of assassin."

I blinked a few times in silence. "Okay, but you don't know how I take my caf." To my surprise, the clone laughed heartily, making me hush him with a light smack of my pillow. "You'll wake up the whole house, utreekov!" He chuckled, shoving away my pillow before settling back on his with a small wince. "Did I hurt you?"

"Don't flatter yourself," he teased, looking back at the ceiling. I settled back onto my pillow, cradling it in my arms. "How do you take your caf, then?"

I smiled genuinely, my face heating slightly. I wanted to push it away, but another part of me enjoyed the warm feeling and giddy fluttering in my stomach. "No, I want you to guess."

"Black?"

"Ew, who would even do that?"

"I do," he said, mock offended.

I lifted my eyebrow at his look. "I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends anymore. I can't be friends with someone who is so openly a psychopath." He laughed, but sobered quickly and turned his head sideways to look at me with a soft gaze. "What?" I laughed breathlessly.

"I like how you say that. Calling us friends."

"Aren't we?"

"Yes."

I lifted my brows at him. "Rex, distance or you being a jagyc doesn't change that." He seemed shocked at my term for him, but chuckled anyways before looking back to the ceiling.

"I'm glad. We should get some rest. We have to rejoin the fight tomorrow."

Right. I'd almost fallen into a lull. Like we had entered some alternate dimension where the war didn't exist in that tiny room on a farm. It had been peaceful. Sweet. Filled with hope...for something more.

I sighed slowly through my nose, pushing my head into my pillow. "I take my caf with a bunch of cream and sweetener, by the way."

He opened his eyes to look at me, smirking. "I figured Jango would have made you at least a little badass."

"Shut up," I chuckled, pushing his shoulder gently. His warmth and even breath was lulling me into sleep, my eyes becoming a bit unfocused. To my surprise, Rex's golden gaze remained on me as he shifted, his good arm coming up to bend between us, his knuckles grazing the skin of my cheek.

I breathed slowly as he watched me, his rough skin sliding under my nose to rest on my slightly parted lips.

"Kida?"

"Yes?" I breathed against his hand.

"You learned Mando'a from Death Watch, right?"

I lifted my eyebrow. "Yes."

"Do you know what cyare means?" Rex's eyes watched me intently as I wracked my brain. I'd never heard it said by anyone in Death Watch, nor had Jango ever said it. Or any of the clones, for that matter. The mild apprehension coming from Rex almost made me search his mind, but some reason, I refrained myself.

"I don't."

He smiled at me. "Then, goodnight, Cyare." I frowned, not understanding as his knuckles touched against my lips a final time before he pulled away.

Still, the conversation was over. I rolled to my side, my mind reeling. Still, I didn't dig into his thoughts. I'd figure it out eventually. Still, my worrying over my visions and decision faded beside Rex's warmth, his breathing evening out as he fell asleep. Soldiers...they really could fall asleep in a flash. I smiled to myself, letting my thoughts drift away as I shut my eyes.

"How's it look, Kida?" Cut called from the porch. I stood up from where I'd been hunching over my speeder, shrugging.

"It's pretty banged up from the fall I took to avoid hitting Rex." I rubbed my chin in thought.

"You guys can take some Eopie," he offered, walking down the stairs to join me.

I cut him a sly smile. "Why? Are you in need of a speeder?"

He shrugged. "It'd make getting to the market easier." I couldn't help but laugh at his joke, but gave a small kick to the speeder.

"Well, tell you what," I said with a smile. "I won't say a word if you at least give it a paint job so it isn't obvious." Cut smiled at me, shaking his head.

"I don't actually need-"

"Lawquane," I cut him off, waving my hand. "Less time at the market is more time with your family. Consider it payment for being so hospitable."

He smiled gently at me, understanding that I wouldn't budge on the subject. He helped me bring out two Eopie, Suu packing them with some food and water for us.

"How will we get them back to you?"

"They know their way home," Cut explained, giving me a smile.

"How did you rest?" Suu asked, packing the second Eopie.

"Well," I admitted, trying not to blush. "It's been a while since I've slept in a real bed. And Rex had never been in one at all."

Cut grinned at me, making me roll my eyes. "How was the night with the captain?"

"Uneventful," I growled, tightening my armor on my shoulders. My mind flashed back to how I'd woken up. Somehow in the night, I'd shuffled over in the bed towards Rex's heat, pushing my back against his side. His arm had come up and around me, his fingers gently wrapped around my forearm.

In the panic of my awakening, I couldn't be sure if he was awake or not. I'd just slipped from the bed, changed, and hurried out.

I cleared my throat as Cut chuckled, Rex walking out from the barn. His arm was out of the sling now, even if it was supposed to be, his armor donned and helmet under his good arm.

"Kida! Kida!"

I turned my head to see Shaeeah and Jek racing from the house, Shaeeah surprising me by throwing herself into my arms. "I'll miss you," she muttered into my shoulder.

I found an easy smile coming to my face as Cut walked past me to stand on the porch with his wife. "I'll miss you, too," I said genuinely, touching her nose. "Just promise you'll take care of your family for me."

"I promise," she declared, stepping back to let Jek come forward.

"I-I made you this," he said shyly, lifting up a drawing. "So you can remember us." My heart panged slightly as I took the paper, seeing the doodle of Jek and his family, Rex and I beside them.

"This is beautiful, Jek. Thank you." I rubbed his helmet with my knuckles, making him giggle.

"Will you come back and visit?" his sister asked.

"I don't know if it'll be safe, or if I'll be able to," I admitted, pressing my lips together at their sad faces. "But if I can, I certainly will."

They both smiled and gave me final hugs before running back up their parents. Behind me, Rex added his own belongings to his Eopie, breathing out through his nose.

"Well," he said, turning back to us. "That should do it.

"Captain Rex," Suu said from the porch. "Are you going to turn in my husband?" Cut had his hand on her shoulder, his face grim. I'd forgotten about that entirely.

I looked over my shoulder from where I still crouched on the ground, eyeing Rex as his face dropped.

"I'm sorry Suu, it's my duty." I stood up, ready to fight him on it, but he cut me off with a look. "But in my condition, I probably won't remember any of this."

"Thank you!" Suu cried happily, looking at her husband with pure love. I smiled at them before looking back at Rex as he continued.

"You're still a deserter, Cut," he said, watching the couple embrace. "But you're certainly not a coward."

The comms on Rex's wrist beeped, Obi-wan's voice pouring through. "Captain Rex, are you still with us?"

"Yes, General Kenobi," he responded immediately, turning away from the family. "I'm still with you. And thankfully on the mend, sir."

"That's great news. We certainly missed you and Kida at the party."

"Sorry sir," Rex smiled, looking back at Cut and his family, glancing at me with his golden gaze. "We had to attend one of our own."

"Can't wait to hear about it," Obi-wan said light-heartedly. "We're standing by."

The comms beeped off as Rex put his helmet on the saddle, my own feet carrying me towards the second Eopie.

"You're welcome to stay, Rex," Cut said, glancing between us. "Both of you."

"This is your home, Cut," Rex replied gently. "My family is elsewhere." He climbed atop his Eopie, the kids shouting goodbye to us as we spurred them forward gently.

"And you, Kida?" Cut called, his eyebrows raised. Suu was smiling beside him as I turned and looked at Rex's back as he guided his mount away. I stared for a moment at the captain before looking back at Cut with a small smile and a shrug. Cut returned the smile. "I understand. I hope to see you again someday, Fett."

For once, I didn't flinch at the name. "As do I."

I hurried my Eopie after Rex's as we passed the rolling fields of crops towards the location Kenobi had sent us. "So," the captain said to the air. "Decided not to stay with them?" His tone was implicitative of hope, even if he tried to hide it.

"Please," I joked. "Could you ever imagine me as a farmer?"

He laughed. "No." Rex looked sideways at me. "So did you decide what you're going to do? Or was you racing from the room this morning your answer?"

So he was awake. I tried but failed to stop my face from flushing. I had thought about it as I'd messed with the speeder that morning. Rex had admitted to Cut that he loved me. Maybe I loved him back. But until he admitted that to me, and until I knew it was requited...I was staying.

Besides, the force was calling me to the war. I didn't know why. But I had a role to play...somewhere.

I sighed lowly, feeling the roll of the Eopie's steps below me. "I'm not going anywhere, Rex."

MANDO'A

Jagyc - dick

Utreekov- idiot

No, I'm not writing the definition of Cyare until Kida knows. Some of you might already know it, or you can google it, if you can't wait to find out. But keep it to yourself for now, so those that want the surprise can have it.