A/N: So since they never explained exactly what Bucky did to help Atwood get the position and I didn't write it in to this chapter. Emily's mother was running against Atwood and Hydra had Bucky kill her so that Atwood could get the position. And Emily's father knows people that can get him stuff like the device that Bucky uses in the episode so he was more than happy to help Bucky out.
Sam's giving up the shield, and he's donating it to the Smithsonian. That was all Steve had sent to her, not that it mattered because Bucky had found out first, and he had been beyond upset over it. It had taken her over an hour to calm him down, and she was sure that he would wear a hole in her carpet from as much pacing as he had done.
"Why would he give it up? He's saying that Steve was wrong about him. He's saying that Steve was wrong Tessa." He had mumbled as he paced.
"That's not why Sam's doing this. He's not saying that Steve's wrong, Buck. It's just a bit much for him to take on. Being Captain America is going to be hard for him to do." She said as she sat on her couch and watched him. Bucky stopped and slowly looked at her.
"Did you know?" he asked quietly.
"What?"
"Did you know that Sam would give the shield up?" he hissed. Tessa stared at him in shock before she let out a sigh.
"I didn't know he would do it, but he did tell me that he was thinking about it."
"And you didn't stop him! Why the hell wouldn't you say anything to Steve or I?" he demanded. Tessa let out a huff before she glared at him.
"No, Bucky, I didn't because this isn't your business, Steve's, or mine. Sam had reasons not to want the damn thing and did what he felt was best! Steve isn't even upset over this, so why the hell are you!?" she demanded as she stood up.
"Because if Steve was wrong about Sam being Captain America, he was wrong about me, Tessa!"
"Why are you deciding what your worth is based on what one guy says? Why are you basing it on what anyone says?" she asked.
"Why's it matter to you?"
"Because I'm so sick and tired of you putting yourself down because of it! You are not a bad man, James! I know you aren't!" Bucky turned away from her and started to laugh.
"You think you know me just from the six months we've talked? Tessa, you don't know a damn thing about me! You don't know what I've done!"
"You don't think that I know? Bucky, I haven't lived under a rock. I followed your trial the whole way through. I heard all about what you were forced to do, none of which makes you a bad man! You're a good man who bad, evil people forced to do whatever they wanted!"
"God, you're so stupid sometimes. You believe in the good in everyone, and it will get you killed someday." Tessa had to take a deep breath to calm herself down. Sure, they had gotten into an argument before but never this loud, and he had never insulted her. She wrapped her arms around herself and moved away from him while biting her lip. "What? Are you going to run to Tony and cry? Tell him how horrible I am? I'm sure he'd fucking love that! Just prove to him how right he is." He said with a scoff. She took a deep breath and counted to ten, willing herself not to cry.
"You need to go home." Bucky looked down at her, and he went to open his mouth as if he was going to say something. "Don't. I don't want to hear any more from you. Just. Go. Home. James." She said as she pushed him towards the door. She knew that if he wanted to, he could have kept her from moving him, but either he wanted her to push him away or was so surprised that she wasn't going to take the abuse he didn't think about stopping her. As if whatever spell he was under was broken, he turned to face her as soon as he was pushed out of her apartment.
"Tess, look, I'm…." Tessa held her hand up to silence him.
"I don't want to hear it. I don't know what crawled up your ass and died, but you need to leave and don't come back until you've dug it out." She said as she slammed the door. Bucky stared at the door in shock before he looked down and let out a sigh; just a few weeks ago, it had been going so well. He had been thinking about telling her how he felt, and now he'd messed it all up. He raised his hand to knock on her door to try and get her to listen to him and beg her for forgiveness, but he could already tell that she wasn't going to listen to him, so he just turned and headed for home. He had a ceremony to get ready for anyway.
Tessa watched the televised retirement of the shield, Steve and Bucky stood on Sam's right side, and she could see Steve giving a smile while everyone clapped. Bucky, on the other hand, refused to smile. But he did clap as well; he did it slower and far less enthused, though. He had sent her multiple texts asking her to forgive him and hear him out, but she had no interest in talking to him. Of course, Renata, Alex, and Emily had teased her and asked if there was trouble in paradise when they found out that they had gotten into an argument, but Tessa had just rolled her eyes. She watched as Steve, Sam, and Bucky walked off the stage while one of the senators gave a speech about the shield and its importance. Suddenly Tessa's phone went off, and she looked down to see who had texted her only to see that Bucky had sent her another text, this one wasn't asking for forgiveness or anything like that.
I'm not going to be home for a few days. Senator Atwood's here. Tessa stared at the text for a second, wondering why he told her.
Okay. And? You have the book with you, so why are you telling me?
I just wanted to let you know that you won't have to hear from me for a few days. At first, she thought about not sending anything back, but then she realized that she couldn't just do that, not because he would be expecting anything but because a part of her was afraid that something terrible would happen if she didn't say it.
Okay, Bucky. Be careful, okay?
Always. When I get back, we do need to talk, though. And there are the words she had been dreading to hear; what if Bucky had finally had enough of her ignoring him, and he would tell her that he didn't want to talk to her anymore? She had to get her breathing under control; she looked away from her phone and closed her eyes while taking several deep breaths. She opened them and looked at the tv screen once again, her brows furrowed in confusion. The senator could be seen in the background talking to who she thought was Steve until she saw Steve talking to Rhodey further away.
Who's the guy talking to the senator?
What guy?
Over by the banner of Steve. She watched Bucky's head pick up and turn to look at the senator and the guy she saw. He stared at them for a few minutes before shrugging and looking back at his phone.
I don't know. Why?
They're talking about something.
Tessa, everyone's talking about something.
Yeah, but it's like they're trying to be extra quiet. Can you hear what they're saying?
No. To noisy. She let out a groan; whatever it was, it had to do with either Sam, Steve, or the shield because that's where the two men were constantly looking.
A few days later, Bucky came home, and the first place he went was the museum. Emily was cleaning one of the displays when he walked in. "Hey, Bucky. Tessa's not here today." She said when she saw him looking around.
"Where is she?"
"She's sick. Got food poisoning." Bucky had to bite back a laugh; he left for a few days, and she somehow got lousy food.
"Alright, I'll text her then. I just wanted to let her know I'm back." He said before turning to walk back out.
"So, how'd it go with Senator Atwood?" Emily called out, and Bucky stopped and turned back to her.
"Great. It was actually kind of fun driving that car around and scaring her. Tell your dad I said thanks for getting me that stuff."
"No problem," she watched as he started to walk away "oh and Bucky." She called out, and he stopped and turned back to her one last time. "I hope you crossed our names off of your amends list."
"I did." He said as he walked out the door.
He was stupid, so, so, so stupid for not saying no when Yori suggested that he take Leah out for a date. He didn't want to take her out for a date; he wanted to go and ask Tessa to forgive him and give him a second chance. He wanted to take her out to a nice restaurant and tell her how he felt about her, but he had been too afraid to tell them no to hurt Yori and Leah's feelings. And besides, Tessa still wasn't feeling well from her food poisoning, and he just wanted to go out and have a good time, so here he was checking himself for the hundredth time in the mirror before he grabbed the flowers he had bought and headed out the door. He had called to check up on Tessa to make sure she was okay and after the hundredth time of her somewhat convincing him that she was okay before, he reluctantly decided to go on his date.
Tessa groaned as she got up from her couch to answer the insistent buzzing coming from her comms. She shuffled over to the machine and hit the answer button "Yeah?" she weakly called out.
"Tessa, it's me." She rolled her eyes as she heard Bucky's voice.
"Bucky, I'm fine."
"Please." She wasn't sure what had happened, but he sounded shaken. She hit the button to let him in and waited for him to make his way up. A minute later, there was a knock on her door, and she slowly opened it up. "Hey, Tessa, I need….oh."
"I know I look like shit."
"No, you don't."
"You don't have to lie to me, Buck." She said as she walked back to the couch
'If you only knew.' He thought as he followed close behind her. They sat on the couch; he was surprised when she leaned against him. He wrapped his left arm around her, and she gave a pleased hum. "You alright?" he asked as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.
"I'm starting to feel better. How'd your date go?" she asked.
"About as well as I expected. I wish I had just stayed here with you." He said as he gently kissed the top of her head.
"I told you that you didn't have to." She said as she reached up and tugged on the chain around his neck until his dog tags came out. Buck watched as she gently rubbed one of them between her fingers. He watched as she yawned several times before he gently rubbed her back.
"Let's get you to bed." He said as he started to stand up.
"You'll stay?" she asked. He knew that he should say no; it would be best if he said no, but his resolve broke when she nuzzled into his neck and begged him to say yes.
"Alright, I'll stay. Just for tonight. We can talk in the morning." He said as he walked her into her bedroom and laid her on her bed. He let out a bit of a laugh when she wouldn't let go of his dog tags "Tess. You have to let me go." But she just groaned and shook her head no.
"Bed's big enough for both of us." She said.
"I'll sleep on the floor out in the living room. I doubt I'll be able to sleep on your bed. It looks too comfy."
"Alright, it's your loss." When he realized that she wasn't going to let go of his dog tags anytime soon, he took them off, and after making sure she had a good grip on them, he kissed her cheek and quietly walked out of her room to grab the spare blankets and pillows he knew were in her hallway closet. Before stripping down to his boxers, he made up a bed for himself and crawled under the top blanket, laying his head on the pillows and falling asleep.