A.S Chapter 7:

Troubled Heart, Millions Miles Away

Day 0

I was chilling on the bed, watching the TV with my mind flying off somewhere else during the ad break. Russ was also watching the TV beside me and seemed more interested in the TV since he was occasionally asking questions about what he was actually watching. The shows being aired were somewhat mid but some were pretty amazing like this show called 'County Ashbeck'. It's an anime about people's lives in the fictional county of Ashbeck.

To describe to you what that show was like, imagine the writer of Family Guy and Nichijou working together to make a show while passing the fattest blunt known to man to each other.

It… was a fever dream, to say the least.

It was about thirty past eleven so all the kid's shows stopped airing to make room for 'adult cartoons'. Yes, it was pretty much like [adult swim].

The door opened and I peeked at the doorway. It was Ryna and she was holding a briefcase. She looked reasonably tired which was fair since she was gone for a long time.

"Ryna, you alright?" I asked her.

"Yeah… I just- need to get something."

She walked to my room, eyeing the TV with a small smile on her face. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What are you watching?" She asked us.

"County Ashbeck," I answered. "It's sorta like… an anime version of Family Guy."

"Oh, County Ashbeck. I know that but is Family Guy?"

Ah, crap. I keep forgetting that nobody here knows what I'm talking about.

"...Nevermind then."

"Master Ben, what does it mean by 'smoking crack'?" Russ asked, referring to the TV which had the ad break ended just now. I was lucky enough not to have water in my mouth which if I did, I would've spat out. I burst out laughing at Russ' innocence and Ryna was just confused at why I was dying from laughter. She asked me what was so funny and it took a while for me to compose myself.

"Uh- Russ asked me- I can't fucking believe this. He asked me what it means by 'smoking crack'. Yea… Russ, you don't have to know about that."

Ryna had her hands on her forehead after that and she can't help but smile at that. "Arceus…"

"Ooh… One more thing." She swung the briefcase on her hands onto the table with a loud thud.

"Damn… calm down. What is it?"

She took out something that is very much familiar to me. A black and blue rectangle device with a moderately sized indentation on the back forming a T-like shape. It took me a solid 10 seconds to realise that this was my phone.

"Holy shit…"

"Ring any bells?"

"Ryna… that's my phone… holy shit…" I had my eyes and mouth wide open and I was speechless.

"Well, the research department… they didn't know what to do with it or how it even works for that matter so they decided to give that back to you but for three conditions…"

"Ah, there's the catch. Saw it from a mile away."

"One, don't do anything stupid."

I shrugged. "Fair."

"Two, whatever's in it, you have to share it with us."

"Even private shit?"

I started to sweat. The amount of weird shit inside my phone – including memes and all those shiz – is probably enough to have them tighten their grip on me. Now, don't get me wrong, that stuff isn't even illegal in itself but it does reference illegal shits if that makes sense in any way. For example, schizoposting. 'I live in your walls' type shit. Showing that alone can give me a headache trying to explain it let alone trying to explain even more of it. If they suspect that I am actually threathening to live in someone's walls, they would probably come for my ass and break my kneecaps.

"If you want to… not share it, you can just tell me but it has to be a valid reason. Third and the final one… Well, this is not a condition but simply an offer for you. They asked you if you want to work as a translator for this and basically give us info about your world."

"...I'm sorry this is just too much for me to process. Let me get this straight. They want me to translate shit from here and explain what there is to my world?" I pointed at my phone. "Since I'm the only one that can?"

"If you put it like that then yes."

"...There's a lot of things in there… and I don't even know if it works or no."

"Now, I know what you're thinking. You want a paycheck to do this."

"How the fuck does she know?" I pulled a finger gun on her. "You're goddamn right."

"...I'll see what I can do."

"Damn… Even the chargers and my tablet?" I held both of those items closer to me to check for any significant damage.

She snapped her fingers. "Ah, that's what those are. I knew it looked familiar."

"The chargers?" I asked her.

She picked up my tablet and held it up for me to see. "No, this."

"Ah… Alright, let me just plug this in… Please work…" I was fortunate enough to end up in a country/region that uses the same plug I used back home so I just plug in the chargers without a problem.

"If you're alright with it, can I just record this for… documentation purposes?"

"I really don't give a shit as long as you don't put it public."

"Great."

Ryna went ahead and put a camcorder on the table with the lens facing me. I stuck the USB C connector into the charging port and prayed to Jesus – or Arceus now? – that it's alive. My thoughts and prayers were answered when an icon of a lightning bolt inside of a circle showed up on the display which later turned into '0%', signifying that my phone was alive, just not without any juice inside.

"YES!" I threw my arms in the air. "YEAH, BABY!"

She smacked me lightly on the back. "Hey, shush. You're going to wake up everyone."

"What happened?" Russ asked after he climbed on top of the chair to get a better peek at what I was doing.

"Ah… don't worry about it," I said with a shit-eating grin on my face.

"Ben got his stuff back so he's happy about it," Ryna explained to Russ like a toddler.

I sat at the edge of my bed and I held down the power button until the phone boots to life. It got to the home screen when it finally asked for the password and I half-remembered it because it was so long ago since I last used this thing. It took me a couple of tries but eventually, I managed. The apps, YouTube, Discord, and Twitter, all brought back countless memories.

I sighed.

I hovered my hand over to the Gallery app. I hesitated but in the end, I pressed it. All the images of my family and my lads with me in it popped up simultaneously.

The nostalgia and memories were overwhelming and tears began to flow down my cheeks as I began to weep.

Ryna and Russ were beside me the entire time and both of them started to console me as I bawled my eyes out. Russ went further to even hug me. I didn't know what to say.

"I- I just… I just really miss them… It's been- It's been months…" I said, voice shaking and hitching at the same time.

"It's fine, Ben, it's fine. We're here for you," she assured me.

Russ only patted me on the back and stayed silent the entire time and it stayed like that for a couple more minutes.

I thought I'd already moved on from all that and was ready to start a new life but unfortunately, it seems that I can never let go. That night, I cried myself to sleep.

Exactly what you run from, you end up chasing. Like, you can't avoid it, but just chasing it and just like trying and giving it everything that you can, there's always an obstacle.

Day 1

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." I got up from the bed and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. There, I took the opportunity to look at myself in the mirror.

I look lifeless.

I combed my hair and fixed up my face a bit. I took a deep breath and let it out again. I took one last look at myself and I smiled the best I can but I can't seem to hold that smile any longer. I stood in the bathroom for a couple more minutes before Ryna decided to peek around the corner.

"Ben, do you need a hug?" she asked.

I turned to her voice. Russ was behind her legs, also looking at me with great concern.

"No… no, I'm alright," I said and ruffled Russ' furry head in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere.

"If you want something to eat, we have breakfast, you know."

"I know…"

I had a lot of things in mind. My appetite was not one of them as I simply stared at my food on the desk.

"Eat up, Ben. Your food is going to be cold," Ryna asked.

"I'm just- not hungry…"

"What's on your mind? You can always speak to us, you know." Ryna echoed my thoughts.

I didn't say anything. I wasn't thinking much, to be honest.

"Take your time. It's okay, Ben. It's normal for people to have a hard time moving on, but you have to remember that you're not alone. We're here for you," she said and patted my shoulder.

I sighed once more and made the floor my main focus.

I didn't eat much that morning and the lunch after that.

The sun was setting and the sky was a beautiful mix of light blue and orange. I was standing on the balcony, imagining and looking out at the world I had left behind. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that Ryna was standing beside me.

"What's up?" she greeted me.

"Oh- hey… I'm just- thinking about how my life has changed. I used to be so free and had so many plans for the future, but now…" I sighed. "Now, I don't even know where I'm heading."

"It's okay. You'll get through this," she said and placed her hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"Easy for you to say…" I muttered.

I looked out at the sunset in front of us. The orange and pink hues were reflected in the water, creating a beautiful scene. Somehow, it convinced me to stay there until the sun finally sets.

Day 2

"Heading somewhere?" Ryna asked.

"Yeah… I'm just going out for a walk. Taking my mind off things…"

"Be sure not to go running around getting a concussion."

"You really didn't have to remind me of that."

I put on my shoes and my hoodie before heading for the front door until Russ come up from behind me and hugged my leg.

"Can I come?" Russ asked me.

"I really want to be alone…"

"I want you to be safe."

I sighed. "Fine… if you don't be a burden."

"I won't! I promise!" I looked at him for a moment before I finally gave in.

"Alright, let's go."

We started walking and I was only half-listening to my surroundings. The other half of my mind was wandering, thinking about my past and my current situation.

"Master Ben, are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh… yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure? You seem really lost in thought." I sighed and smiled a bit.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I'm just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Just… life, I guess."

We walked around the park in silence. Our surroundings which were previously green all around were covered in a thin layer of snow. The day was sunny and chill air was around with little to no wind breezing and making the air feel colder. It was cold but not stupid cold to the point that I have to wear a thick jacket to get comfortable; I only need a scarf. In fact, it was a perfect day for walks and the whole town knew that.

Around the park, people and pokemon go about their day, enjoying hot drinks, playing in the snow or simply walking around just like us.

Unlike us, however, they seemed more engaged in their own pokemon. I, however, was not. Not a single word was muttered by me to Russ until I left my own thoughts to ask Russ a question.

"Russ, how was your life before you met me?"

I glanced at Russ after I asked that and I saw him as he started to tear up.

"I don't want to talk about it…"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Russ kept walking for a little bit before he too did the same. He didn't turn back to me. Slowly, I approached him and hugged him from the back.

He seemed to flinch the moment I touched him. I reassured him that it was me and that it was alright.

I'd never thought that I would relate so much to a pokemon. One thing is for sure, we were pretty much in this together.

My brain was on autopilot and my mind was in a fuss during the entire walk. The more I think about the future, the more concerned I get. Laps after lap we walked as I got lost in my own thoughts and Russ was minding his own business, getting distracted by things a lot and often straying away from the path to look at random things. I didn't care too much. I did say that I'll let him come with me if he doesn't be a burden so why would I become a burden for him?

We ended up changing from walking around the park and walking around the town. Hours upon hours went by before we decided to go back to the hotel. At that point, the sun was already setting yet I was still pretty frustrated by this whole ordeal.

Upon opening the front door, Ryna asked me, "Ben, what took you so long?! I was starting to get worried about you!"

I was startled at first but snapped back to reality. I sighed and glared daggers at her. "I was thrown out of my own home and into this place which means that I'm not going to see the people I know and truly love. I have no knowledge of this world and I have no prior identity in this world which meant that my existence in this… place seemingly appeared out of nowhere, which also means it'll be a matter of time before someone outside of the International Police will find out."

I took a deep breath. "Oh- speaking of which, I have no true home in this world and the police- No, the International Police – you guys – are all up on my ass and you asked me what took me so long…?" I gave her a speech, a speech that I didn't know I was capable of saying without stuttering.

Russ and Ryna only stared back. "I… I'm sorry…" I said, breaking the awkward silence.

"It's fine… I'm sorry." She approached me and hugged me and I felt relief as if a huge amount of stress was lifted from my shoulders.

Day 3

After taking a quick shower that morning, I laid down on the bed and started going through my phone. When I decided to scroll through the gallery, I mainly focused on the camera folder. I scrolled through them all and in the end, I decided to stop what I was doing as I was mentally drained.

Nostalgia is exhausting.

Russ was out with Ryna so I was left alone in the hotel room.

I turned off my phone and placed it on my chest before letting out a sigh. My thoughts and the images were very much lingering in my brain even after that. I had nothing to do and I wasn't in the mood to do anything. A few minutes passed and I was still in the same position. I heard a knock on the door and I got up to check who was there. It was Ryna and Russ, meeting me with a smile on their face.

"Master Ben!" Russ jumped on the bed and hugged me.

"Hey," Ryna said. "We just wanted to check if you're alright." She picked up Russ and sat at the side of the bed with Russ sitting on her lap.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking…"

"Do you want to talk about it? We're here for you," she said before I could say anything else. I thought for a bit before I spoke.

"I just… I don't know. I'm confused, really and I don't know where I'm going- I know I've said this a lot of times but I miss… everyone… I don't know how to continue if you get what I'm saying."

She turned to me with a face not sad, not angry, just… neutral. "Look, I know how it feels but if you're not willing to move on, you will not move forward. Do you understand me? You have to let go."

I looked down and I felt a knot form in my throat. I said nothing and simply nodded.

I guess she understood that I was too overwhelmed to say anything else as she got off the bed and said, "It's alright if you don't want to talk." I simply nodded, still unable to form a sentence. "I'll be right back, alright?"

Still, I didn't answer.

She made her way to the front door. When the front door opened, I raced to at least say something. "I- I… need more time…"

"Alright…" The door finally closed. I went back to bed and hugged my pillow and Russ. I didn't realise that I was hugging him so tightly until I felt him trying to escape my grip on him. I let go and I apologized.

Day 6

The days went by and I slowly started to feel better. One day, I decided to go out for a walk. I was walking around the park, feeling the crisp air and the sunshine on my skin. I took a deep breath and felt the air fill my lungs. I looked around and noticed the people who were there. Everyone was living their lives, making me feel like I should be living mine too.

I continued walking and I eventually ended up at a park bench. I sat there and just looked at the sky and the clouds. I thought about my life and what I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to find a way to move on and start anew. I looked around and noticed an old man walking his pokemon. I watched his every move and it made me think about how I was going to move forward.

That's when I started thinking about the job offer.

I remembered Ryna saying that I have to translate stuff and I'd get paid for it. What if I actually accept the job offer? I'd get some money to buy stuff that I want to try out. If they got space-bending bags in this world, who knows what else might be in store? Quite literally. I can't just rely on Ryna to get things for me; that just doesn't feel right.

"Ah, fuck it. I'm taking the job," I slapped my lap and got up from the park bench.

I entered the hotel room. "Ryna? Can I just talk to you for a minute?"

"Oh- Oh, it's you." I peeked around the door to see Ryna closing her laptop – well, it looked like one.

"I… uh…" The words that I wanted to say seemed to be stuck in my throat. None of them is coming out.

"Why can't I spit it out?" I thought to myself.

"I've… thought about the job offer. You know, the one that you mentioned like… 6 days? 5 days ago?"

Ryna turned to face me. "What about it?"

"I'm… I'll do it." I blurted out. Ryna raised her eyebrows.

"Oh? What made you change your mind?" I took a deep breath and told her my story, making sure to be as transparent as I can.

"I see…" she said after I finished. "Well, I'm glad to hear this. I'm sure that this job will help you in more ways than one." I nodded in agreement. "It's a deal then. I'll be sure to contact the higher-ups who offered and trusted you with the job."

"No need to thank me. Just make sure to make the most of this opportunity." I nodded again, this time with a smile.

"Got it… Wait, hold on… How do we do this?"

"That's for another time." Ryna opened her laptop back on and opened some sort of text messaging app. The user interface looked minimal but it looked like it has everything you really need.

While Ryna was typing, I decided to eyedrop – is that a word? – at what she was writing. I saw she typed, "Green light acquired, we can proceed." to a person named 'HOR Rodwell Heathcliff'

When she turned back towards me, I only acted like I didn't see anything.

I stayed up until 1 am watching downloaded Youtube videos on my phone that night. I kid you not, it hurts to hold yourself from laughing so as not to disturb Russ as he slept. I had tears in my eyes and was absolutely losing my shit over videos titled, 'grandma after clutching in the gulag' and 'Cookie Dunker'.

Really, my humour really was thrown out of the window.

Want me to start over?

Where?

Everything.

END OF ARC 1: FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

START OF ARC 2: LIFE CHAPTER TWO

Word count: 3680 words

AN: That is it. That is the end of Arc 1. First of all, I would like to wish you guys a Happy New Year 2023. 6 months into the story and only 7 chapters in. The procrastination is crazy with this one. Anyway, as you've already read, the next arc is going to be titled, 'Life Chapter Two'.

And yes, I am aware that a new story cover is going to be made to celebrate the end of the first arc but lo' and behold, I, Exotic, the bringer of bad news, that is not going to happen. Not when I release the first chapter of the second arc, at least. You see, other than writing the story, I also drew the cover myself.

And this one is going to be ambitious so it will take time…

So, that is all from me, and have a great evening, day or night, wherever you are in the world. Peace.

Reviews:

CarameltPud

"Holy shit, you're from Kuching?! First time I see a Malaysian writer here."

Ay, my guy. Malaysian pride wheeeeey.

frankieu

"nice chapter thx for writing it

happy x-mas"

Mermy christmas

_