Alysanne I

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains mentions of miscarriage, child pregnancy and briefly descripts a procedure called dilation and curettage. It isn't too graphic, but be warned that this can be disturbing or uncomfortable for some people. Please do not report my fic, I posted a TW.

Additional Note: This is a work of fiction. None of the procedures and remedies described here should be attempted at home as a form of treatment. If you need medical help, seek a professional. Do not try to do this at home!

When Sansa saw the black stallion, her mind was flooded with memories of another lifetime, of a scarred man who used to mount a black stallion just like that. It couldn't possibly be the same horse, right? Stranger was Sandor Clegane's mount, a beast as ferocious as his master. No one but him could ever mount the stallion, and no one but the Hound ever tended to him. "It's just another black stallion. Surely it looks like him, but no more than any other black horse of the same size". The real Stranger was probably as dead as his master. Sansa remembered how lost and hopeless she felt when she learned of Sandor's death. She couldn't quite explain why, but she mourned him and wept her heart out for nights after. He was a terrible man, always scaring her, always saying terrible and hateful things. He even held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her… And yet, the same brute man saved her from an angry mob, covered her naked body when Joffrey humiliated her on court, and even helped to cover a lie for her, sparing her from yet another beating… "The same man who kissed me on that dreadful night" she thought. It wasn't strange that she would remind him with some… fondness.

The brother was silent behind her, but she could feel his heart was beating wildly. "Maybe he is nervous. He is a brother sworn to the faith, but he is still a man, and I am a woman". He was tall, and broad of shoulders "Just like him" she thought. With his face hidden by the cowl, she could even pretend he was Sandor Clegane, back from the grave. "Don't be stupid, Sansa" she scolded herself "he is dead, and he is not coming back. Playing pretend will not change the fact that he is gone forever". And even if he was alive, it would be unlikely that Sandor Clegane would take the vows and become a brown brother. It was impossible. He didn't believe in the Seven Gods, he even gave his horse a blasphemous name. Even if he was alive, he wouldn't be at the Quiet Isle, praying and contemplating. He would be swinging his sword at someone. "Killing is the sweetest thing", he once told her. There was no way a warrior like him would become a silent brother.

They rode hard and fast, but luckily both horses were young and strong. Sansa was afraid Maiden would fall far behind the black stallion, but her mare was faring very well. When she left the Vale she didn't remembered to ask Mya the name of the horse, and she had to call her something. The mare was not only strikingly beautiful, but well-mannered as well. She reminded Sansa of Lady, but that name was obviously out of question. She settled for Maiden, a suitable name for such a docile horse. Obviously, the fact that she, like Sandor Clegane, gave her horse a blasphemous name wasn't lost to her, but she was sure the Gods wouldn't mind that. After all, as far as she was concerned, they were indebted to her, after all the suffering they made her go through.

Night was falling when they finally arrived at the ferry that would lead them to the island. There was a chill in the air, and Sansa clung to her cloak to keep the cold at bay. The words of House Stark came to her mind: they were so different from the words of the other noble houses. Almost all of them were just boastful words claiming power, strength and bravery. But the Stark words held a simple warning: winter is coming. "Eventually we are right" she though. "Now winter is really coming. It's almost here".

Sansa helped Lyara to get on the ferry, while the brown brother carried the horses. It would be a few more moments until they arrived at the island, where Sansa would have her first real lesson on healing. For the past months she mostly gathered herbs and made a few potions, so when Lyara told her they were requested, she was excited to put what she learned to good use. The old healer instructed Sansa to call her 'mother' whenever they were around other people, so she had to keep that in mind. "It is better this way, child. People will respect the daughter of a woods-witch more than they would respect a servant girl", Lyara said.

When they arrived at the island the brother dismounted before helping Sansa out of the saddle.

"Thank you" she said, but he didn't answer. "They make vows of silence. That's why they call this 'The Quiet Isle'". She helped Lyara take their supplies from Maiden's saddle. Another brother greeted them:

"Welcome to Quiet Isle, Lyara the Healer. And the girl…?"

"My daughter, Alysanne. She was living with my sister in Oldtown, and just returned a few months ago"

"Oh, I see. It is a pleasure to meet you, Alysanne. I am Brother Narbert. The Elder Brother is expecting you. Follow me"

While Sansa and Lyara followed Brother Narbert, the tall brother was left to tend to the horses. Sansa looked behind her and saw his huge form retreating to the stables, limping. "The Hound does not limp" she thought. Not that it mattered anyway. "The Hound is dead", she reminded herself.

They arrived at a small and simple cabin, one of the cabins reserved for the women who visited the island, which was now being used as a healing house. Brother Narbert opened the door and motioned for them to enter. There was a bed at the center of the cabin, where a young girl was laying. A tall, bald man was tending to her, probably the so-called Elder Brother. When he heard them he lifted his head and said:

"Welcome, Lyara. I am glad you agreed to come"

"I was told a child was in need of my help"

"Indeed. I don't know what to do for her, so I figured you would be her best chance."

"How long has she been like that?"

"She was brought yesterday, feverish and delirious. I wasn't able to bring down her fever since then"

"This is no good…" Lyara said, crossing the distance to the bed. She started to examine the girl, while Sansa stood still, not knowing what to do. Lyara examined her, checking her temperature, her eyes, her tongue. Finally, she opened the girl's legs and started to inspect her… there. Sansa was uncomfortable, but scolded herself for it. After all, if she was to become a healer, she would have to get used to situations like that. After a while, Lyara said:

"Well, it is no wonder you didn't know what to do with the girl. She had a miscarriage…"

"A miscarriage?" Sansa asked "But she looks so young…"

"Aye, she is young, way too young. Might be that it happened naturally, or this is a result of a moon tea used way too late. The remains of her pregnancy are still inside her, that's what is killing her".

"And what can be done?" the Elder Brother asked

"We get rid of it, of course. We make her bleed…"

"But if she bleeds, she might die!" the brother said.

"Ayes, if she bleeds, she might die, but if she doesn't bleed, she dies for sure. This is her only chance. Now, you brothers don't want to see this. There is nothing you can do now to help. If you want to help, pray for the Gods and ask them to spare the girl's life. And have someone bring hot water and fresh linens right away. This is all you can for now. Now shoo… Let me and Alysanne do the work"

"Yes, of course. Come, Brother Narbert" A minute later they were alone, and Sansa felt like panicking, but she collected herself quickly. Now it was not the time to act like a scared little girl. She wasn't the stupid and empty-headed noble girl from her past life. She was a woman grown, and a healer. She had to be calm, strong and confident, like Lyara. Sansa rolled up her sleeves, put her apron and said:

"Okay, Lyara. Where do we start?"

"We have to act quickly if we are to save her life. I will prepare something to help her to expel whatever is killing her, you prepare something for the pain"

"I will prepare some milk of the poppy. It will numb the pain and make her sleep while we work"

"Good girl. Get to work."

Sansa opened up her satchel and started to gather the ingredients to prepare the milk of the poppy. It was one of the first lessons Lyara told her. She carefully mixed all the ingredients, carefully dosing all of them. When it was ready, she poured it to a bowl. Lyara was already giving the girl her potion to help with the expelling… Sansa would have to ask her later what she put in the potion. There was a knock at the door, and Sansa hurried to answer it. It was brother Narbert, with buckets of hot water and fresh linens. Sansa motioned for him to enter.

"Anything else, Lyara?" he asked.

"No, that would be all for now."

"Alright" he said, and left the cabin.

After Lyara was done, Sansa carefully administered the Milk of the Poppy. The girl was suffering greatly, and Sansa pitied her. She didn't paid attention to her before, absorbed as she was in her task, but now she noticed how much the girl resembled her sister: she was as tiny as Arya, and had the same dark hair and grey eyes. After the girl drank the potion, Sansa carefully cleaned the sweat from her forehead, and unconsciously she started to sing a northern song. When she noticed Lyara was looking strangely at her, she stopped and said:

"What do we do now?"

"Now, you help me lift her up. She cannot be laying down now, she has to be sitting."

"Alright"

They had no trouble lifting the girl, even though she was deeply asleep. After they were done, Lyara opened up the girl's legs and lifted her dress. Then, she went to her satchel and retrieved a leather pouch from it. Inside the pouch there were many tools, some of them already familiar to Sansa.

"Now, I will use this to clean her womb. It is messy and bloody deed, but it can save her life. You better watch carefully, girl. Might be one day you will need to do the same thing."

"Yes, Lyara"

"Now, I will not fool you: this is no guarantee. She might die in the end. She might live and become barren. She might even recover without much damage. Either way, this is the only chance she has."

Sansa nodded and stepped closer to Lyara to watch her working. The healer inserted an iron pole through the girl's parts. It was hard to watch, and at some point, Sansa thought she was going to faint, but she remained frozen in place, watching carefully. Lyara worked very slowly and carefully, as to not cause too much damage. There was a lot of blood involved, just as Lyara predicted. At some point the girl started to twist and toss, so Sansa left Lyara's side to calm her down. She sang to the girl, caressing her hair, which seemed to calm her down. It took nearly an hour, but finally Lyara was done.

"Now help me clean her up and change these linens. And then we prepare something to quench her fever." Lyara said. Sansa did as she asked: they changed the linens, doing the best as not to disturb the girl. They worked in silence, concentrated in their tasks. After all was done, Lyara asked Sansa:

"Now you go fetch some watered honey. She won't be able to eat properly right away, but she needs something to regain her strength. The watered honey will do just fine for now."

"Yes, of course".

While Lyara remained tending to the girl, Sansa left for the chilly outside of the cabin. It was harder than she expected, but she thought she behaved quite well. She doubted that anyone who saw her cowering in the corners of the Red Keep after a beating from the Kingsguard would believe she was capable of doing what she just did. Obviously, her work wasn't as hard as Lyara's, but still it required a steady heart. It was a bravery of sorts, to stand calm and focused when a life was at stake.

The Elder Brother and Brother Narbert were outside the cabin. When they saw Sansa, they looked expectantly at her. Sansa answered:

"She is asleep now. Mother and I did the best we could; now it is for the Gods to decide her fate. Still, we shall try to make her drink some watered honey. It might help her recovery."

"Good, that's good" said the Elder Brother.

"Oh, and mother will probably stay here to watch the girl during the night, so I would like to bring something for her to eat"

"Of course, child. Brother Narbert will accompany you to the kitchens. You can gather anything you need for the girl. I will go and see if Lyara needs anything else."

"Thank you, Elder Brother" Sansa said, before following Brother Narbert to the kitchens. While she walked, she had the distinct feeling that she was being watched, so she stopped and glanced behind her. That's when she saw the tall silent brother that led them to the Quiet Isle standing like a rock besides the cabin. When she saw him like that, she couldn't stop thinking about Sandor Clegane lurking in the corridors of the Red Keep, drunk and mean. "Sandor Clegane is dead" she reminded herself one more time. Still, it was getting harder not to think of him whenever she saw the tall brother around. "I must be going mad" she thought, shaking her head and walking away.