"These actually aren't half-bad." Cecily chuckled.
"Beepers! Beepers! Beepers. Are. A. Girl's. Best. Whoops, somebody beeped me! Frieeeennnnnnndddddddd!"
"Oh, really, you think so? I mean, I was only doing this for a short time..."
"Yes. The jingle was catchy. The choreography was good, too. I would have done the audio and lighting differently, but this was a good effort."
"I didn't think too much of it in hindsight, but I guess coming from you, that means something."
"Of course, and that actually makes me think. We're in Christmas fever for now, so everything's on hold, but what do you want to do next year?"
"I uh...I haven't even thought about it."
"You know, you've now shown a willingness to confront your past, right? Well, I think to make a recovery, it's important for you to get working, right? Getting out of the house would do you a world of good. And well...with these tapes, and a recommendation from me, I'm sure the local affiliate here would hire you in some capacity. So what do you say?"
"A TV station? I...uh..." Miriam stammered. "I just wouldn't..."
"Oh believe me, you would know what to do. Don't sell yourself short. I think you've been doing that for way too long. Helga certainly looks like she thought so today."
"I guess you're right." Miriam broke out into a smile. "It's about time I started taking some control isn't it? That's basically what your son said to me on my first day here - to see it as an opportunity. Still, it's taking some getting used to. I'm afraid I'll just screw up in a job."
"Everyone makes mistakes. You can't let them - or fear of them - control your future. Truth be told, I think that's one of the reasons you ended up in your situation."
"I'm still scared, though, you have no idea."
"No, I think I do, but you have to make the decision about what you want. If you want to turn the corner, you'll have to conquer your fear. Think about today with Helga. I'm sure you'd choose more of that if you could, right?"
"Yes." Miriam answered with a decisiveness that surprised her. "And I want Olga to be proud of me on her wedding day, too, just like the groom will be proud of his mom. I can't believe I was going to miss it..." She suddenly started to sniffle.
"Well, now you have the chance to put that all behind you, if you want to. You're doing great so far. So, do you want the job after the holidays?"
"..."
"Thank you, mommy. You've been very helpful." Olga said as Miriam helped her take out the silverware and prepare the table. "Things get so hectic here when Louis' family comes."
"I can see that." Miriam smiled. "But they're really great. I can see why you and Helga like them so much, which reminds me. Cecily saw a few of the tapes I produced when I took over at the emporium for your father a few years ago. Last night, she told me that she can show those to one of the Hillwood TV stations and get me a job there. I just...I'm hesitant. I haven't had a job, much less one like that, in ages. What do you think?
"Mommy, if Cecily says you can do it, she obviously knows what she's talking about."
"Yes, but I just really don't want to disappoint myself, or you and Helga, ever again. I said this to Cecily, but I want you to be proud of your mother at your wedding just like Louis will be proud of his."
Olga smiled lightly. "Then you should do it, mommy. No more holding yourself back, OK? If I can, and Helga can, you can."
Mother and daughter exchanged a hug, when another voice wafted through the room.
"Yeah, why not give it a try, mom?"
They turned around to see Helga leaning on the threshold of the dining room.
"You did well when you ran Big Bob's Beepers, and now, I don't need anyone to take care of me night and day. Why not go for it?"
Miriam looked at her younger daughter, perplexed, before smiling and nodding.
"Now let's see..." Miriam muttered to herself in an electronics store, looking through a glass display.
"Need some help, miss?"
She turned to look at an employee who came up to her.
"Oh, no, just looking for a couple of things my daughters might like."
"Ah, well, maybe if you let me know something they might be into, I could take you to something."
"OK, now let me think..." She rubbed her head. "I know! My older daughter is a pianist. I think if she had some kind of portable recording equipment to hear her playback, it could help her. I just wouldn't even know what to look for."
He smiled. "I know something that could help. You might want to try one of our directional microphones and playback recorders. If she's playing the piano, she can put the microphone on top or nearby and it will record all the audio that she can play back."
"That sounds good. Let me see."
"Right this way." He smiled and led her to an obscure corner of the store. "I'll let you take a look around. Call me if you need help!"
He left, and Miriam took a look at the various microphones in the area, but her heart soon felt like it stopped and her breath hitched in her throat when she caught a glimpse of something familiar.
"Miriam!"
She stiffened. A large man approached in her peripheral vision.
"Miriam, where've you been? I haven't been able to get in touch with you. I thought you were only staying with Olga for a few days! How is she? How's our girl?!"
"B! Well...Olga's doing fine...and Helga well...she's changed a lot...and..."
"Oh, right. The girl. Anyway, I was just here to check out the prices for some cell phones. So, when are you coming back to the beeper emporium? It's been a nightmare!"
"Well B...I uh...I'm really not sure. I...sort of like it with Olga and I might have a job ready down the line, you know?"
"A job? You?" He dismissed.
"Well...yes...I can try."
"Oh come on Miriam. I need you to come back to the emporium, not waste yourself on that nonsense!"
"It isn't nonsense, B!" She snapped back, surprising him.
He frowned. "What could you possibly do, Miriam?! I just need you to come back!"
"I can't go back B, at least not yet."
"I don't know what's gotten into your head, Miriam, but I suggest you let go of these silly ideas. You need me and I really need you to come back. You really think you can take whatever this job is on your own? You can't even organize office supplies right! Just come back!"
"NO, B!" She erupted, once again surprising herself. Now shame crept up and held her into place as she saw all the shoppers in that section of the store staring at her. "I...I can do just fine!" She turned and rushed off.
"CRIMINEY, MIRIAM! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOUR HEAD RECENTLY, BUT YOU'LL FAIL LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO AND COME CRAWLING BACK TO ME! AND I'LL LET YOU COME BECAUSE I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY!"
Bob's voice bored into her brain. It wasn't just from today. It was from all the years.
"You'll fail like you always do!"
And again.
"You can't do anything right!"
The voice got louder and louder. Miriam covered up her ears. She couldn't make it stop. The lights of Olga's home came into view. They were welcoming, but not welcoming enough to get the voice out of her head. She used the keys Olga gave her and entered. All was quiet, so there was nothing to stop the voice from yelling at her.
Then she saw it lying around as she wandered the house, straying into the dining room.
The Nikka whisky that Henry brought from Japan was there, on one of the shelves. It was like a miracle. How did it get there? Either way, she couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. On autopilot, she grabbed the bottle, twisted the cap off, and took two big swigs. In minutes, her head felt warm, she smiled, and the voice was gone.
Olga and Helga giggled as they returned home, carrying bags.
"Mommy, is that you? Why are you just sitting there in the dark without the TV on?" Olga asked as she went into the living room. "Mommy?"
"What's going on?" Helga asked as she followed her sister.
Olga turned on the light and they both saw their mother asleep. Then, they saw the bottle of whisky on the table and gasped.
"How did this get here?!" Olga yelped.
"Wha? Wha?" Miriam came-to.
"Your voice is slurred. What were you doing, Miriam?" Helga growled, but her eyes were tearing up.
"Oh, honey..." She slurred. "You don't understand..."
"Oh my, your breath!" Olga yelped.
"I knew it!" Helga growled and bunched her hands into fists that shook violently at her side. "I was a fool again! I knew you'd let us down - AGAIN! Just you wait until Louis comes home! He's going to eat you alive! And I'm going to love every second of it!"
She stormed off, making sure her feet pounded the floor on the way out.
"Helga..."
"I don't blame her one bit."
Miriam now widened her eyes. Olga was starting to growl through her tears.
"Honey, you don't understand...let me explain...!" She slurred as Olga silently walked out.