Sandor II

After Lyara and Sansa left, Sandor and the Elder Brother sat in silence for a few moments until the religious man spoke:

"So… Sansa Stark…"

"What of her?" Sandor replied gruffly. He was annoyed to no end at the present situation. He grew used to being alone with Sansa in the woods, and although he knew it wouldn't last, that the old healer would return at some point, he actually wanted their privacy to last a little longer. "So you can take advantage of her, your shameless dog?" a voice said inside his head, leaving him even angrier and ashamed of himself. No matter how good the Little Bird thought he was, in the end he was still a bastard.

"Well, now she knows who you are… and apparently you and her are in good terms right now… I mean, supposing you did not force her to…"

"I did not!" Sandor growled. "I did not force her to anything."

"Alright, my friend." The Elder Brother replied "But you understand that I had to ask. When you told me about her you mentioned you desired to take her, weather she was willing or not…"

"Aye, I did say that, and I meant it in the past." Sandor admitted, but brushed off these memories "But that was then. Now it's… different."

"How so?" the Elder Brother asked, and it took Sandor some time to gather his thoughts. So much has happened in the last few days, he didn't really stop to think about it. Now the memories of his reencounter with the Little Bird came crashing at him:

"When I saw her here, after such a long time, I wasn't sure what to do. I was unsure as how she would react. As I told you, I wasn't exactly good to her…"

"Yes, I remember…"

"Yet somehow, she seems to think I was a friend of hers, back in Kings Landing. She sees me as a savior, as a good man… something I am clearly not."

"Why do you think she sees you in such light?" the Elder Brother asked. Sandor shrugged and said:

"I don't know. Maybe she was around so many monsters that she picked the least terrifying of them."

"And now… since she thinks you are a savior, she feels… indebted to you?"

"Mayhaps. I did not force her, I can guarantee. But… well, maybe she though she owed me that. That she owed it to me for the times she thought I saved her somehow."

"So… you still doubt you are a man worth of forgiveness and kindness…"

"You're damn right I do." Sandor replied with a mirthless laughter. Silence fell for a moment, before the Elder Brother spoke again:

"You think the girl is stupid, Sandor?"

"What?" Sandor asked, as if he didn't hear right.

"The girl… Sansa Stark. You think she is stupid?"

Sandor sighed and contemplated his answer for a moment, before speaking:

"I called her stupid more than once… but no, especially not now. Naïve, maybe, innocent… but not stupid. She survived so far, when many of her enemies didn't. She outlasted Joffrey, Tywin Lannister, and survived even Littlefinger. She is not stupid."

"So, why do you doubt her capacity to make a conscious choice to be with you?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, I am afraid I am dead serious." The Elder Brother said in a scolding tone he often used when he had a point to make.

"This girl, whom you think is not stupid, sees you as a savior, and a good man. She encounters you again after a long time apart, and she chooses to be with you… as a woman…"

"Stop…"

"No, I won't stop. You listen to me. The girl cares for you. That much is clear. She received you open heartedly, she is trying to convince Lyara to trust you, as we speak. She made a choice to be with you, and now you question that? Isn't it all you wanted?"

"Yes… it is."

"Then why question it?"

"Because such things doesn't happen to people like me. The fair highborn maiden gives her heart to the ugly and lowborn man because she sees goodness inside him… that's a bloody line from a bloody song. That doesn't happen in real life."

"I am afraid you're wrong on that matter, Sandor. The girl cares for you… maybe she even loves you. The question now is: do you care about her?"

They fell silent after that. Sandor contemplated everything the Elder Brother said to him. He felt something for the girl: that much was clear. At first, he thought he was angry at her, so prude and naïve, a highborn girl with a head full of fantasies, a girl who loved the very same things he despised: knighthood, lordships, songs, big castles and fancy clothes. He felt he was disgusted, at first. Then there was the day he walked her from the Hand's tournament, the night he told her the ugly truth about his ugly scars. She was terrified at first, but then… she put a hand in his shoulder and said that Gregor "was no true Knight". He laughed at that, but he realized that it was everything he always wanted to hear from someone, anyone. It felt so wrong that his vicious brother would be rewarded with knighthood four years after disfiguring the face of a six-year-old child, a child that was his own flesh and blood, no less. It shattered all of his young dreams about knighthood, dreams who matched Sansa's own fantasies, he realized. Gregor was a mockery to knighthood, but all around the Seven Kingdoms people praised him for his prowess in battle, and every time Sandor heard a compliment about his brother it felt like he was burning all over again. Then, there was that night. The silly little bird that had her head on the clouds and was so irrevocably trusting - even in a viper's nest where she shouldn't be - that naïve girl gave him the reassuring he needed all of his life. Gregor was no true knight, she said, and suddenly not only he trusted her words, but he also felt something towards her that wasn't anger, or spite.

As time grew by, the nameless thing he felt for her grew inside him. At first, he called it pity, but then he realized it wasn't right. What he felt for her couldn't be pity, not with the way he looked at her figure, her growing tits, her plushy mouth, her slender frame, long legs, creamy skin and tiny waist… It couldn't be pity, not with the way he imagined her pretty red hair cascading around her bare shoulders as she moved to match his rocking hips as he fucked her bloody… So, it wasn't pity, it was lust, he thought, but even then, it didn't feel right. Yes, he wanted to fuck her, he wanted it so much he even hired red-haired whores any time he could, to pretend he was fucking the Little Bird… but lust couldn't be the reason he felt to utterly useless and ashamed when he wasn't able to protect her from the golden lions who were so cruel to her… it couldn't be just lust, not with the way something stirred inside him when she touched his ruined face and sang a song in the heart of darkness.

Sandor wasn't sure what it was that he felt for the girl. The desire was there, but there was something else as well. An urge to protect her, to make sure she would never ever cry like she did in Kings Landing… a yearning to be… worthy of her. Before Sandor could answer the question the door to the cabin opened, and Sansa motioned for them to enter. Silently they walked to the cabin, as Sandor mused through everything he discussed with the Elder Brother.

"You must be tired and hungry, Elder Brother. Please, come inside and eat." Sansa said with a smile. When she locked eyes with Sandor, she blushed so prettily he felt like taking her mouth on spot, but decided against it. If she managed to convince Lyara she wasn't harboring a monster it wouldn't help his case if he ravished the Little Bird in front of the old healer.

The said healer looked at him with interest written all over her face. "At least it's not contempt" he thought "That's a start". He wondered what the Little Bird told her, if she flourished the tale of how he was her savior and all of that. Did Lyara even believe it? Was she pretending to accept him only to have him poisoned afterwards? He doubted Lyara was a bad person, but as a healer she sure knew her poisons. And she seemed to like Sansa like a real daughter. Would she be willing to take drastic measures to protect Sansa from him? Would she allow him to stay only to murder him in his sleep?

Lyara and the Elder Brother sat at the only table and ate their meal in silence. Sandor briefly retreated to put on a tunic, but returned and took a spot standing by the door, while Sansa sat at a small wooden chair, far too small for her frame. "Looks like a children's chair" he thought. But it was clear that no child lived in the cabin.

After the meal was finished, Lyara was the first to break the silence.

"So… Alysanne… I mean, Sansa said she knew you, from the Red Keep. She says she trusts you and that I should too."

Sandor only nodded, not sure what to say about it.

"But you understand what she asks is… difficult. The fame of the Clegane brothers is not the finest. The Mountain was a monster who liked to beat and rape… and the Hound… the Hound was responsible for many crimes in the Saltpans…"

"My brother may as well be a monster… but I am not him. As for the Saltpans… I had nothing to do with that, you can ask the Elder Brother. At the time the "Mad Dog of the Saltpans" was attacking I was recovering at the Quiet Isle. And burning that village? You can see why I am no fond of fire…"

She nodded, and said:

"Very well. I can make no promises but I will try to see you in the same good light the girl does. And you are allowed to stay here for the time being."

"Thank you" he said "but I don't think I should stay here any longer. Neither should she."

"Why not, Sandor?" Sansa asked, confused "You didn't say anything before…"

He sighed before answering:

"Aye, I didn't. The past few days I wasn't in my best shape and needed recovering. And you would never leave before the healer returned anyway. But those men from the Vale… how long do you think it will take before someone else comes looking for them? And when they do, they'll find you. Unless you want to return to the Eyrie…"

"No!" she screamed in an urgent and panicked tone "I will never return to that place."

"Then we should leave before that happens…" he concluded. The hint of desperation in her voice when she claimed she didn't want to return to the Vale wasn't missed, but Sandor chose to ignore it for the time being. He would eventually ask her what happened there, but not now. There were more urgent matters to discuss, and not much time for it.

"So… where would we go?" Sansa asked, still sounding unsure.

That was something Sandor had been considering for the last days. Sansa and he were escaped criminals from the crown: she was considered Tyrion's accomplice in Joffrey's murder, not to mention a valuable key to anyone wanting to claim the North. He was a traitor, and since the attack of the Mad Dog of Saltpans he was also considered a war criminal. Surely, with her copper Tully hair dyed black Sansa was less recognizable, but his burned face was too distinctive. They couldn't go south; they had to stay as far from the Crownlands as they could to avoid the Lannisters. And if they went north their chances weren't very good either. Sansa was a Stark of Winterfell, but her powerful name meant little considering the North was being ruled by the Boltons. If Roose Bolton realized Sansa was alive and going north he would do anything to prevent her from contacting other northern houses and rallying them against Winterfell. Death was the best Sansa could expect from the Boltons, because as far as he knew, Roose's son was a sick man who liked to beat, rape and kill girls like her. They would never be safe anywhere in Westeros, not with so many enemies around them and so little friends. There was only one course of action, Sandor realized:

"We could cross the sea." He said "To Essos"

Sansa was silent for a moment, considering his words. The, she raised her eyes to meet his and said:

"But… I cannot just leave Lyara here. If Baelish's men come here and find her… she is not safe here either."

Sandor was about to retort, when he heard Lyara's voice:

"You don't have to worry about me, girl. I am an old woman, I don't have many more years to live anyway."

"No, Lyara. I can't just leave you…"

Sandor realized it was going to be hard to convince the girl. He knew she could be stubborn when she wanted: there was a wolf in her after all. Yet, they couldn't stay in that place, not anymore. As Sandor was considering what to say to break the Little Bird's resolve, the Elder Brother broke his silence:

"Lyara… you have to tell her."

Sansa turned to the old man with questions in her blue eyes:

"Tell me what? What happened?" she said. Lyara nodded and sighed, turning to Sansa, as she spoke:

"Alys… Sansa… Do you remember what I told you about consuming sickness? The fevers that can claim a man's life..."

"Yes, Lyara, I do. But I don't understand…"

"Do you remember what I told you about blood fever?"

"Yes. It is… it is a consuming disease. It slowly fills the lungs with blood, causing fever, pain and making it harder and harder to breath, until it leads to death…"

Sandor did not understand what Lyara was trying to tell. "Unless" he thought "she has it. That's why she said she doesn't have many years to live. She already bears the Stranger's mark".

"I am sick, Sansa. I started to cough blood just a few moons after you came here. Then there was occasional pain and some nightly fever, as you remember. I told you it was just common fever, from the weather growing increasingly cold, but in truth I already knew what it was."

"Oh, Lyara…" the girl said, and Sandor noticed she had tears pooling around her eyes. She was very fond of the healer, he realized, and the news was a devastating blow to Sansa. "Will it ever stop?" he wondered "she is always losing people she cares about. Her father, then her brothers and mother… and now Lyara. There is no end to this?" he thought bitterly.

"As I told you, my days are already coming to an end, darling. You are not safe here, you have to leave. And now that you know I am dying… if you think you are tied to this land because of me, my incoming death surely releases you from that bond."

"No, it doesn't, Lyara" the Little Bird said "I risked your life coming here, and I can't leave you alone to face the outcome of my presence. I cannot leave you now that I know you need me more than ever."

"Girl…" Sandor said, but was abruptly interrupted by the Little Bird, who seemed to be very upset, even angry.

"No, Sandor, you don't do this to me. Don't tell me I have to leave her alone. She is sick, she needs me. I can't do that. I can't..."

He knew he had to say something, but was at loss of words. Staying was a stupid decision. Littlefinger would surely find them eventually, and then there would be nothing he could do to save the girl. But he knew that, for Sansa, abandoning Lyara would feel like a betrayal, and she already carried the guilty of her past deeds, when she was coerced to betray her family by the golden tongues of the Lannisters. She wouldn't bear to do that again. As he was trying to convey something to say, the Elder Brother spoke:

"If I may suggest something… I think you all should go; even you, Lyara. While Westeros does not know the cure for your sickness, maybe Essos' healers already have a better understanding of what you are going through. But if you finally decide to stay, you can come to the Quiet Isle with me. You will be cared for, I can assure you that. And I surely can use some help in treating the sick and injured."

"Women are not allowed there." The old healer said. The Elder Brother answered:

"Not as permanent habitants, but as visitors and patients they are well accepted. You will be allowed to stay after I explain your… condition."

Sandor didn't exactly like the idea of the healer joining them in exile, but he wasn't going to question. As long as it made the Little Bird agree to the plan, he would accept another companion of journey. Upon their arrival in Essos, he would find a safe place for them to stay, and a position as a sell sword, if anyone would take him. He would accept any employment he could, as long as the payment could afford them a roof, food and wine. Sansa could even resume her activity as healer, if she wanted to. And if at some point the opportunity to return to Westeros presented itself… well, they would have to wait and see. Sandor realized they were all silently waiting for the healer to speak. Then she did:

"A travel… would be hard on me."

"I know, Lyara. But if there is a hope for cure…" Sansa started, but Lyara interrupted her with a humorless laughter:

"Oh, dear… I wouldn't hold much faith on that possibility."

"Either way, I cannot leave you, Lyara. If you stay, I stay. Please, come with us. Please, don't leave me."

Sansa's pleads certainly found a way into the healer's heart, because she nodded slightly. Sandor caught a glimpse of tears on the old woman's eyes. "That settles it" he thought. Now, they had to make arrangements for their departure, as quickly as they could. There was no time to lose, as they already wasted more time they could afford. The stakes were too high, so they had to act quickly.

"I will arrange a ship to carry the three of you to Essos" the Elder Brother said "it's better if no one in the village knows that you are leaving. If they don't know you are going, and where, when men come looking for you there will be no one to spill the secret. You should travel under the guise of people of the Faith. It's a simple story: you will be a silent brother travelling with two septas, one of which is an old woman who is gravely ill and wishes to visit her family across the sea, the other being her younger escort. No one will question it, and the hood of the Silent Brother will disguise your face, Clegane. Once you reach Essos you can do as you see fit"

Sansa looked over to the Elder Brother with an expression of deep gratitude. She hugged him, and muttered:

"Thank you, Elder Brother. I don't know how to repay you for everything you have done. For saving him, and keeping him safe… for helping Lyara and me. I truly have no words."

"It's alright, my dear. I don't really know you very well, but I am terribly sorry for all of your losses. As for Lyara, she is an old friend of mine, and Sandor… well, let's say that despite his manners I grew very fond of him these past months. He reminds me a lot of myself… how I used to be when I was younger."

Sandor walked over to the Elder Brother, with a solemn expression and said simply:

"Thank you, old man."

"You don't need to thank me" the Elder Brother said with humor "I am more than glad to be rid of your foul mood… and your nasty stallion as well. I bet the other brothers will be very glad the beast is gone from the stables". There was laughter in his eyes as he said those words, and Sandor replied:

"And I am more than glad to get rid of your lectures. You talk a lot for a silent brother."

The two men shook hands and the Elder Brother left the cabin, promising to come back as soon as he managed to arrange things for their departure. In the meantime, there was packing to be done, as they finally prepared to leave Westeros and their enemies behind. There was no way to know if the path ahead of them would be easier than the one they were leaving behind. But for once Sandor did not felt helpless. He made a vow to himself that this time around he would protect the Little Bird, and nothing would stand in his way.

xX Amaya Xx