Chapter 29

Stand By Me

XXXXX

James's heart was pounding in his chest. He had just gotten out of a debriefing with General Ironwood where he and his friends had divulged everything they had learned about the Scattered and the Legion's new plan. It had been welcome, he could focus on recounting the events of the last few days with as much detail as he could manage. It was work, it was him doing good, and most importantly it kept his mind busy. He didn't have to think about what he had done.

But then it had ended, and General Ironwood had asked both him and Winter to wait for him while he spoke with James's friends, secured Ròta Bloodaxe, and prepared security measures. So now he found himself alone in an empty briefing room with just Winter in the depths of an Atlas military installation, with no one else for company but his own thoughts. And his own thoughts were not being kind to him.

What the FUCK were you thinking!? James roared at himself inside his own mind. You fucked up a lot over the years, but could you at least maintain some dignity as you were getting older? No. You had to go and kiss someone half your age! She was crying her eyes out, something she didn't want you to see, and your first response? A goddamn kiss. Just stop, ok?

Shaking his head to quell the internal screaming, James forced himself to look at Winter. She was already looking right at him, almost as if she had been waiting for him to do the same. His stomach lurched. Guilt and self-loathing were both burning him from the inside out, but a fair bit of confusion had worked its way into the mix. He didn't know what to think about the Specialist looking him in the eye right now, how he felt about her, what he was supposed to do next, and most importantly, why she looked more concerned than angry right now.

In fact, as he watched, she got up and walked over to where he was sitting, taking the chair next to him. He winced, half expecting a slap. One didn't come. Instead, Winter cleared her throat as if about to give a lecture. "We should talk about what happened," she said, her voice calm.

"I'm so sorry," James blurted out. "If you don't want to see me again, I understand. I won't go near you, Weiss, anyone you don't want me to. I was stupid, selfish, and I wish I could take it back." A pinprick of embarrassment poked at him as he realized how pathetic he must look, spilling his guts like this. It didn't matter though. He had made a horrific mistake and he had to make it right however he could.

The anger he knew Winter must've been hiding finally showed itself. Her eyes narrowed, her jaw tightened. But when she spoke, she caught James off guard. "I thought I made it quite clear that I didn't want you talking about yourself like that," she said, audibly holding back irritation. Pausing, she forced herself to take a deep breath. "We need to be sensible about this. We can't panic. I don't want to dance around it, so I'll be forward. I'm not upset about what you did. You didn't do anything I didn't do. And what do we want to do going forward? Do we want to keep things the way they were, or do we want to try and explore this?"

James gawked at her. Winter was staring at him with a straight face and sincerity in her tone. She was serious. How on earth could she possibly be considering anything other than demanding an apology and that they never speak of what happened again? "Winter. I'm twice as old as you."

Winter looked at him carefully, eying him up and down. She paused, choosing her next words carefully. "And what if I said I didn't care?" This couldn't be real. He must've fallen passed out at some point after kissing her and was having a delusional dream where he wasn't getting chewed out. He tried to speak, but Winter held up a hand. "James," Winter said firmly. "Please tell me exactly why an age gap is a problem."

James looked at her incredulously. He was fifty-one, and while he wasn't sure of her exact age, she seemed to be mid to late twenties at the oldest. A twenty-year gap. Winter didn't seem to be particularly bothered by it, but a horrible scratching feeling kept picking at the back of his mind. "Because otherwise creepy old fucks take advantage of people." Did he really have to spell it out? Wasn't this flying in the face of basic decency?

She nodded. "Exactly. The main reason is power dynamics. Usually because the younger person lacks the emotional maturity and life experience to make informed decisions. Often they hold a lesser position of power in hierarchies as well. An older person can take advantage of these factors." Her eyes focused on his. "I am not a barely legal teen, I'm twenty-seven. I've been independent for nearly a decade, am on my third term of service, and I report directly to one of the highest authority figures in all of Atlas." She was giving this speech with the precision and refinement of having said it dozens of times before. Had she rehearsed this in her head?

"What's more," she continued. "You do not hold a position of power over me. In fact, the reverse is true. With your provisional Huntsman license, I outrank you, effectively." She frowned. "I'll be speaking with General Ironwood about that when this is over. Aside from that the only other issue I can see is that older men are seen as less attractive and are inherently predatory." Her nose wrinkled. "Rest assured, the first is a shallow reason that I won't waste my time on. The second is a stereotype. If I was a man and you a woman, you'd be complimented for picking up a young stud. So please, tell me. What's the issue?"

"I just," he began before shutting his mouth. A big concern was hanging overhead, but there was no way to bring it up without questioning Winter's emotional maturity. A sad look crossed her face.

"You're worried my past experiences might impact my judgment in picking a partner?" Unfortunately, that was exactly what James had been worried about. He had been around the wasteland enough to see and hear a few horror stories. Young women and girls with abusive families who had run away with boyfriends out of spite or desperation. It had never ended well, with abuse being common and the risk of much more hanging overhead. It wasn't their fault, they had just never experienced love and affection in a healthy way.

There was a long, painful pause. "James," she said softly. Gently, she reached out and cupped his face. Only when her hand moved to press into his cheek, he noticed that she wasn't wearing her gloves. "Is it really so hard to believe that I see you as an equal? After everything we've been through, don't you think I know you by now?" There was a softness in her pale blue eyes, one that he rarely saw in her normally guarded and refined face. "Please. Stop punishing yourself."

James didn't react. Winter's hand wasn't a fragile one, it was rough and had the beginning of calluses beginning to form, but that didn't mirror her actions. It was gentle and kind. His heart skipped a beat. "Winter...are you telling me that you want to give this, whatever it is, a shot?"

Winter nodded. It was such a simple gesture, but the implications of it sent shockwaves through him. "We'll go slow," she said. "This might be adrenaline after everything we've been through. If it doesn't work, we'll drop it and go back to the way things were. We're both mature enough to handle that."

"And if I don't want to?" The reaction he received from that one was the exact opposite of what he had expected. Winter had remained poised and collecting, only letting minor slips in. Upon him suggesting his disapproval, however, it slid away. A genuinely distraught look came over her before she was able to wrestle control back.

"I would be a little upset," she said. "But I would respect your wishes." Oh God. She seriously wanted this. Heart quickening, James ran his hand through his hair as he tried to comprehend this all. This didn't feel real, things couldn't just go this smoothly. Not for someone like him.

"Why?" he said. It was all he could manage at this point. "Why me?" He was old, he drank, he had more mental problems than he could count, he had actively gone against the institution Winter represented, and he had let himself lose his temper and scream at her when she had been trying to look out for him.

"You respect me, you're dependable, but there's one thing above all," Winter said. "There's a kindness to you. Do you think just anyone would bring back a youth from a hate group for deprogramming? Or put himself in a line of fire to rescue one of his former jailers? Or hug someone who had a fight with him earlier that day? It's not a common trait."

"I'm not that kind," James said. "I can be a spiteful old prick sometimes." He was the man who had been buried alive twice and both times there had been nothing on his mind but revenge. Even now, a world away from everything he knew, he wanted revenge on so many people: Adam, Cinder and her cronies, and even Han to some degree. And his acts of revenge had been borderline sadistic at times, what with how he had locked Father Elijah in a bunker to starve to death

"You're spiteful to the cruel and despicable," Winter said, her lip curling in annoyance. "When you lost an eye and were barely conscious, what did you do? You checked me for radiation poisoning and treated me when I had it. When we had a hostage situation, you agreed to be bait to try and rescue strangers without complaint. And when you were sucked into an alien world, you took it upon yourself to rescue a family from a Grimm-infested city. Minutes after you arrived, you fought Grimm and terrorists to save children. Are these the actions of an unkind man?"

"But," he began.

"James!" Winter snapped. "Stop deprecating yourself!" She glared at him for a second before her face softened. "Think, not with your guilt, and tell me what you want. If you think this would make you happier, then let's try. If you think it wouldn't, then tell me and I'll drop it." As she spoke, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "And don't you dare go along out of pity. Please. Calm down and give me an honest answer."

Winter folded her arms as she began to wait. James had a sneaking feeling that him giving her anything other than a straight answer would just annoy her. Ok. Ok, calm down. If you're this far in, the least you can do is be honest with her. So think.

He forced himself to recall the moment in the car. Winter's eyes, raw red and with tears streaming down, doing everything she could to hide it. Part of him had been furious at Jacques, but that had been a distant second. A horrible smothering feeling had been pressing in on him, suffocating him. She had been in pain and he couldn't stand it; she deserved better than that. There had been an overwhelming desire to lessen it however he could. This was a woman who, despite everything, had looked out for him, put herself in harm's way to protect him, and cared about him.

It just felt good to be around her. Even if they clashed, and he could tell there would be many more arguments, he had to admit there was something there. A tiny spark that had flared during their awkward but sincere attempts at dancing. Oh. Oh boy. He was in it now. If he was to follow Winter's wishes and push his guilt aside, there was only one path left.

"You want the truth?" he asked. She nodded. He forced himself to breathe. "I think it would. And if you're willing, I am too." Two viciously contrasting emotions clashed inside of him. One was of nervousness, a disorienting ball of insecurities and concerns over cultural taboos. The other was of excitement that sprouted before he could stop himself. He couldn't help it. She wasn't mad at him, and unless he was mistaken an honest to god smile was spreading across her face. It was contagious, and even though part of him felt sick to his stomach, he couldn't help by mirroring her actions.

"Ok good," Winter said, sighing and slackening, relief spreading across her body. "I was worried there for a second. It sounded like I was going to get dumped before anything ever happened." She weakly shook her head. "I swear that sounded less shallow in my mind."

"You're nervous?" James asked. It was such a bizarre prospect to him. Winter Schnee, the unshakable fortress of resolve, had a few chips in her walls. Over him? He was doing what terrorists, kidnappers, and Cinder Fall couldn't?

She made an incredulous noise. "Of course I'm nervous. Do you think this is something I decided to do idly? Something was eating away at me the whole time. And you got to ask, so now I get to too. Why me? I'm not complaining, but I'd like to know." The posture that she had been maintaining the entire conversation faltered just a little. There was a tiny tremor in her legs, a shallow swallow, and a barely noticeable dilution of her pupils.

It felt strangely comforting in a backward way. She was just as uncertain as he was, just better at hiding it.

"Well," he said, mentally scrambling for reasons. Just because he hadn't tripped and broken both legs at the first hurdle, that didn't mean he still couldn't screw up. "You're a fighter. Everything you do you throw yourself into 110%. You're loyal, driven, and…honestly you're just fun to be around."

Despite everything, Winter gave a small laugh. "Fun? I've been called a lot of things, but this is the first time I've been called fun." James fought back a groan. Why couldn't she take a compliment?

Forcing himself forward, he shrugged. "What can I say, it's enjoyable to watch you be in denial about how short you are."

In a blur, Winter rose to her feed. With a swipe of her hand and a kick of her feet, her heeled boots went sprawling onto the ground. "You shut up right now and get your boots off!" James grinned. Everything else forgotten, he did the same as her. "You've run your mouth one too many times," she said as they stepped so close together that their noses were touching.

"Sorry, could you say that again? I can't hear you up here." James said, wondering if he was torpedoing whatever this relationship was when its lifespan was measured in minutes. Instead of replying, Winter pressed her palm onto the crown of his head. Slowly, she slid her hand forward, towards her own head. Eventually, it hit resistance near the top, but not quite. Glancing down, he saw Winter was flat on her feet this time. Well, unless he was seeing it wrong, Winter was about a quarter-inch taller than him.

"HA!" Winter's eyes sparkled with delight, an unbearably smug look on her face. "What did I say, Mr. Walker?" Forced to face defeat, James threw his hands up. He was a little disappointed that this little thread between them had finally reached its conclusion. And he was dressing the comeuppance he was most certainly going to be getting from Winter as she rubbed it in.

Sighing, he made to step back. Only for Winter's hands to gently press against both sides of his face. He blinked, his heart starting to pick up tempo as he realized how close they were. The flush of Winter's victory had slid out of her, replaced with anxious energy. "I just want to try something," she said. With a glacial pace, her face inched towards his. For the briefest moment, she stopped, as if seeing if he would push her away. When he didn't, she resumed, closing her eyes. Her bright blue eyes.

After a gauntlet of self-doubt and fear, James couldn't muster the energy anymore. He pushed into her, her hair soft and silky as his hand ran over the back of her head.

The kiss was a simple thing. Their mouths remained closed and it couldn't have lasted more than five seconds. But as her lips pressed into his, a bit of roughness to them, James felt at peace. There were no obligations or expectations, it was a simple gesture of attraction and comfort. All of his worries just melted away. And, as soon as it had started, it ended. Winter pulled away, a barely visible tinge of red on her cheeks and delight in her eyes.

"We should set ground rules," she said, her breath shallow. The line brought James back to Earth. Yes, they should, they had to make sure they were on the same page. "First, I think it should be a closed relationship, second let's keep it to kissing for now. Third." She playfully poked his cheek. "You shave now."

"I do shave," James said, feeling mildly insulted. "You don't see me with a scraggly beard do you?"

"Your stubble itches me. I'm sorry, it's going," Winter said. "You need a bare, clean face. Now, I'll be fair. You start shaving your face, I'll start shaving my legs."

James tilted his head in confusion. "Is that something women around here are supposed to do? They don't where I'm from. You don't have to if you don't want to." There were so many odd little quirks to Remnant. Had the Pre-War world been like that?

"Oh. Oh good. Yeti legs help with the cold," Winter said. James couldn't help but chuckle. So that was what she was hiding under those pants. "Oh shut up," she said, giving James a playful push. "Still, you should get to lay down rules of your own."

"Right," James said, his mind scrambling. Winter had put him on the spot. "Fourth, no being weird or possessive. We're gonna have times where we'll want to be alone or spend time with other people, and we should respect that. Fifth. Despite the above, we should try and have dinner together once or twice a week, potentially home-cooked. Sixth, we should try out things the other likes." He paused. Only one more thing came to mind, and it wasn't really a ground-rule. Sorta. But it was stupid. Then again, the shaving one had been stupid.

"Go on," she said.

The hell with it. "I'd like to see you with your hair down more. But consider that a request." Why did that of all things make him feel stupid?

Winter, however, nodded thoughtfully. "I'll make you a deal. If you shave for these dinners you want, I'll let my hair down for it. But only if we're not in public. It's a professional image thing."

"Cool," James said. He felt light-headed. Crap, this was working, it wasn't imploding a few minutes in. They were just sitting and talking about this, with no pain at all. There was no way it was going to be like this every step of the way, flawless relationships didn't exist. But it was a nice start. "So, dinner tonight?"

"I'd like that," she said sincerely. James's heart hit a very peculiar beat that made him think of singing. "But work before play. We're not done today." James chuckled. Winter was showing a softer side of herself, but she was still a workaholic at heart. "Let's keep it private for now," she added. "We'll tell people when we get it worked out." That sounded good. Despite a decent start, this relationship was a barely developed thing; it needed time.

A knock came at the door. On instinct, the two took a step away from each other. No sooner had they done so, it opened. General Ironwood stepped in. He looked like hell. There were bags under his eyes, which themselves were bloodshot to the point where it was nearing a medical condition. Dried lips cracked into a small, awkward smile. "I'm glad that you're both all right."

With crisp, practiced fluidity, Winter snapped a salute at Ironwood. He blinked in surprise. "At ease Specialist, you're not on duty right now." Winter went slack, her expression rather unapologetic over her actions. "I just wanted to check in on the pair of you. Mr. Walker, your friends are being debriefed and Ms. Bloodaxe is secure, I hope to have an interrogation when she is conscious about these Scattered. Furthermore, I just had a private debriefing with Qrow, and he informed me that you two were…aware of certain players on the board."

James felt a feeling of dread slowly start to leak into him. "So, just to clarify, Qrow wasn't screwing around with that talk about Salem, Maidens, and Artifacts?" The second the words left his lips, he realized how pitiful they sounded. A desperate plea for a way out that he knew wasn't coming.

"Qrow doesn't exaggerate threats," Ironwood said somberly. "Salem was behind the attempted cyberattack you thwarted, or at least one of her subordinates was. As a matter of fact, I believe Cinder has been given enough independence to act on her own in this matter. None of what we've seen has the fingerprints of her direct involvement. Salem doesn't engage in petty acts of revenge when a plan fails, she moves onto the next one." Without conscious thought, James's hand drifted up. His fingers traced over the bandages covering where his ear had once been, before moving down to his new cybernetic eye. He didn't feel it. On the edge of his sight, he saw Winter glower.

"I understand what you're going through right now, how you must feel," Ironwood said. Lifting his right hand up, he slid his glove off. Underneath was a whirring, mechanical hand that was the shade of fresh snow. "More people than I care to count have suffered in the fight against Salem. Family, loved ones, their own bodies, there's little she doesn't want to take." He slid the glove back on before rubbing his eyes. The man truly looked like he shouldn't be on his feet right now, but his balance was steady.

"I understand you have a reliable way home now? Well, I'm very glad you're no longer stranded," he said, a small smile making it very clear he was telling the truth. "But, if I may, things are far from resolved here. I would like to request your continued assistance in dealing with the Legion. And if possible, with Salem. Though I understand if you are at your limit."

James mulled it over. Stop and go back home? Now that he thought about it, it was an option. Really, there was nothing stopping him from going back to the Mojave. Except, even if he was to go back, what then? The Legion was here. Lanius was here, Vulpes was here, Marie F. was here. For half a second, his body groaned in protest. A list formed in his mind's eye: Heart, spine, skull, and now ear and eye. All body parts he had lost, and he still wanted to march on. But he couldn't stop. How could he live with himself, knowing he could've helped and chosen not to?

"I assume it's ok if my friends join the effort?" he asked.

Ironwood blinked, then chuckled. "I'll have to ask that you let me interview them first, to make sure they're trustworthy. Until then, please keep Salem and related matters from them."

"General, permission to speak?" Winter said suddenly. Ironwood blinked as he turned his attention onto Winter before nodding. "If Mr. Walker is to assist Atlas in such a delicate affair against such a dangerous foe, I believe his Huntsman license should be upgraded from provisional. Given the nature of the threat, I believe him not having the authority to act without supervision would hamper our efforts. What is more, I have seen him operate under extreme duress and he meets the expectations of a Huntsman." She paused, shooting him a quick look. It was almost like she was asking for his permission for something. Oh. Right.

"Well congratulations, you've earned the respect of the military figure that you've stacked up bodies by the score for." Unbidden, unwanted, Mr. House's voice drifted into his head. "They usually pin medals on draftees for doing that to Chinese farmers. What does it say about you that it took you so long to get him to not hate you?"

An involuntary clenching of the teeth overtook James. Every time, the voice managed to sound just as smug and insufferable as the real House. Part of him wanted to double back, to have Winter lie for him. He was fine, he had managed this for years on his own, he just needed a nice stiff drink and everything would be all right. What would Ironwood say about him hearing voices? It was always the point where he stopped being a grown man capable of making choices and started being a child to be coddled. Or a freak that had to be kept away from people. God, he wanted to just lie so badly. But he had promised Winter. So, he gave a stiff nod.

"One more matter," she said, shooting him a thankful look. "James believes he has undiagnosed Schizoaffective Disorder. While I do not believe this impacts his reliability, I believe appointments should be made for screening, as well as for prescriptions, for his own mental health and quality of life." A bit of the tension inside of James lessened. Everything Winter had said sounded practiced, and this time he was certain she had been going over it in her head. Relief pressed in, just a tad. The focus on how she wanted him healthier and didn't see him as a risk was more welcome than he could ever put into words. Of course, she would word it like that, she was a professional to a core.

Ironwood looked surprised, but not concerned. "I don't believe that should be a problem. I will take both suggestions under consideration." That was a response that was open-ended enough that anything was possible, he could still end up benched as a risk. Still, things were looking hopeful so far. "The only matter left to discuss is the raid on the Legion." James felt a jolt of surprise mixed with panic. Between the Scattered and the Legion assault on their base, he had utterly forgotten about the raid he had been meant to play a part in.

"The good news is that the majority of the Legion/White Fang force was either killed or captured," Ironwood continued. "We also successfully captured Vulpes Inculta." James had to fight back the urge to let out a laugh. Vulpes? Behind bars? Oh, that sounded delightful. But that was only a small part of him. The rest couldn't help but focus on something else.

What was the bad news?

"Unfortunately, the other leaders of the joint force were able to escape. We also confirmed that Caesar is alive and well on Remnant," Ironwood continued. "He is in possession of a particularly concerning Semblance capable of awakening Aura in his followers. What is more, there were complications." His gaze drifted in Winter's direction. She stiffened. A horrible feeling was starting to boil inside James. What had happened.

"General?" she said. Fear sounded so very wrong in Winter's voice.

"Winter, Team RWBY was at the heart of the raid and were the ones to engage enemy leadership. They're all alive, but there were complications." At once, Winter's eyebrows furrowed. Ironwood noticed and hastened on. "Blake Belladonna required a kidney transplant, Yang Xiao Long's arm needed to be amputated and we are working on prosthetic replacements, and Weiss was able to successfully have one of her fingers reattached. Thankfully." Ironwood tried to continue, but Winter interrupted him.

"General, requesting permission to be dismissed," she said, a little too quickly to be formal and polite. James tried to recall a single time that Winter had ever talked over General Ironwood, only to come up blank. Ironwood himself seemed to share his surprise, though thankfully with good grace.

"I...of course," he said. Without another word, Winter strode out of the room, not quite breaking out into a run, but her body was so rigid that James couldn't help but suspect she was barely fighting back the urge.

James's mind was racing. The kids had gone up against Caesar? Against Vulpes and Lucius? Ironwood turned to speak, but James was already on the move. Throwing away any pretense of form, he broke into a run. He just barely caught a whip of white hair disappearing around the corner. Following, his mind went into overdrive.

Kidney replaced? Arm amputated? Finger cut-off? Fuck! FUCK! How had this happened?

XXXXX

Author's Notes: I semi feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot by bringing up all the reasons why these two being together is a bad idea, particularly when I have some readers who are getting a little uncomfortable with it already. But I swore to myself that when I started working towards these two that I wanted to write an emotionally mature relationship. And in a relationship like that, potential flaws in the foundation need to be given a risk assessment, not just glazed over. I feel like I'd be doing these two a disservice if I just had them idly ignore the elephant in the room of the age gap. So I decided to have them sit down and point out how they're going to make it work and safeguard against the pitfalls that would make some people question a relationship of this nature.

Well, hopefully I've done a good job here. Next chapter, the two groups of heroes finally meet up again after being apart for so long. This one was really hard to write for me, some sections I deleted and rewrote five times, but I'm reasonably proud with the end result.

I would like to thank my legacy Patrons, SuperFeatherYoshi, xXNanamiXx, RaptorusMaximus, Davis Swinney, Mackenzie Buckle, Ryan Van Schaack, ChaosSpartan575, and LordofNaught for their amazing support.