In case you read the old version of the last chapter (I reposted it on 05/16) please skim the ending again to be sure you caught the change.
Thank you Miss Amyress for the encouragement and fact finding, it's always very helpful and informative!
Thanks to BJHanssen who, as always, helps to keep my writing on the up and up. As best he can anyway. I'm a pain. :)
"Shit," I gasped, sitting cross legged on my bed facing Garrus at the bar. As he unfolded his story he glared at that damned tiled wall, unwilling or unable to look me in the eye. Curious as to why, I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You don't think it's somehow your fault, do you?"
A flash of something crossed his face before he shot an annoyed glance at me and took a long drink from his glass. "That bastard betrayed all of us, and got good men killed," he responded heatedly. "What's that saying you humans have, an eye for an eye, a life for a life?" He turned to face me fully, the gleam in his eyes unmistakeable. "He owes me 10 lives and I plan to collect."
Still confused, I rubbed my face with my hands and exhaled, "But why? Why did he betray the location of the base? Did they have something on him? Was it for money?"
Garrus' glare, if possible, became more intense. "It doesn't matter." The deadpan of his voice was almost chilling. I unfolded my legs and tried to stand, a stiffness in my spine forcing me to move slower than I liked. He noticed and gave me a concerned look. "You ok?" he asked as I rubbed my lower back with both hands, trying to relax the muscles enough to decompress my angry vertebrae.
"I don't know, my bones have been uncooperative all day. Shit, I feel like I'm 90." I bent over with a grunt to touch my toes, trying desperately to stretch when a spasm shot up my back, making me scream and sending me straight to the floor. Garrus flew to my side, trying to right me but my whimpers and screeches of agony must have made him give up.
White hot pain was the only way I could describe it. It blinded me until the wave passed but another was only seconds behind. I let out another scream and felt small hands on my face.
"Kayla?" I heard Dr. Chakwas whisper. "What's going on, how can I help?" I looked up at her briefly, the concern in her eyes obvious.
I shook my head and looked away, gritting my teeth and grunting, "I don't know."
I think I heard her whispering to someone as another spasm shot through me but I couldn't focus, the pain vibrating in my eyes and ears like the Liberty Bell was being rung right next to my head.
Clenching my teeth, I ground out an explanation, "I feel like my body is rejecting itself... Hot, like fire in my veins and my bones and my muscles are screaming!" I let out another howl then I heard Doc sigh with relief.
"We need to get her to the med bay," she instructed someone. I couldn't even open my eyes at that point, every muscle was clamped down tight. I felt Garrus' hard talons grab me under my arms and someone else take my legs.
"Hey, you're gonna be ok," Jacob's voice gently insisted as he and Garrus hauled me out of my room and into the med-bay, onto one of the gurneys. Sweat-soaked hair was stuck to my face as I struggled to stay as still as possible to let the machine do it's work. A cold hand on the side of my face shocked me enough to open my eyes.
Doc was smiling down at me, pity in her eyes. "I'm sedating you until I can figure this out."
Before I could object everything went black.
"What happened?" John asked, his arms crossed, brows furrowed and his forehead creased with worry as his eyes raked over Kayla's prone form. His mind immediately went to that dark place, expecting the worst. She looks so… helpless.
Dr. Chakwas moved to stand beside him and looked down at the motionless figure in her care. "I can only speculate at this point, Shepard." She took a breath and continued. "From the readings I think her dna is taking over fully. Here, look at her hands." She took one in her own and turned it over. "It's only been a few hours but they are smaller now, the fingers more petite. And there's her height." She released the extremity and touched the screen that kept track of Kayla's vitals and anatomy. "She's almost an inch taller. Her waist slimmer but her hips widening… Look at her face!" The older woman shook her head, crossed her arms and looked back down at the wonder before her. "I am way out of my element here."
John shook his head and sighed, moving closer to get a better look at Kayla's facade. Her cheek bones were higher, more prominent, and her face seemed longer, more oval. His heart did a little jump. Beautiful. Swallowing it back down, he cleared his throat and reigned himself in. "You and me both, Doc. Keep me posted." The woman nodded and Shepard quickly left the room.
Stopping just outside the med-bay, he felt the panic swelling. He sighed and gave his face a good scrubbing with both hands. She's alive, take what you can get.
"Shepard," Miranda approached him with a nod. "Do you have a minute? I'd like to discuss the remaining recruits."
John could feel his blood pressure go up, the Cerberus exec's complete lack of compassion for the woman barely clinging to life in the med-bay was threatening to push him over the edge. Luckily for her his training kicked in and professionalism took over. "Yeah, give me 30. I need a shower." Cool off, it's not her fault.
When Miranda nodded and walked away John turned toward the elevator but gave the med-bay door one more look. He felt his heart jump up into his throat. His jaw clenched, he swallowed it back down hard in defiance. Don't you dare die on me.
"Shepard," Garrus' voice startled him, his eyes shooting over to see his old friend approach. The Turian then gestured to the door the Commander had just exited. "How is she?"
The concern in his voice touched John, making him glad to know there was someone else on the ship that cared about her. "She's stable for the moment," Shepard responded, the panic settling itself deep in his gut. He pushed it down further, unwilling to let it loose. "Dr. Chakwas is monitoring her closely."
Garrus turned to look at the door. "I heard that people in comas can hear what's going on around them, feel things, know if someone is there..." He paused thoughtfully then seemed to make a decision as he nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna sit with her, just in case. Unless you need me for anything?" Garrus turned to face his human friend, questioning.
John instantly felt a pang of guilt. Here he was running away as fast as he could to avoid feeling anything and here was Garrus running straight into the med-bay in hopes of giving her some small amount of comfort. I am such an ass. "No, go ahead. I'm gonna shower then meet with Miranda on our next move." Shepard turned to stare at that door again. No, I can't. Not yet. "I'll check in with you later." And with a nod he was on the elevator heading up to his quarters.
Shepard tried to steady his breathing, slow in, hold then slow out trying to calm his anxiety. Just when he thought it may take over something popped into his head. She's too damned stubborn to let this take her out. Feeling a smile come across his lips, he huffed out a chuckle and exited the elevator, walking into his room and letting the small hope settle in.
She'll get through it. She's a survivor.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The corridor was quiet and dark as John made his way to the med-bay. Two recruitments and a few injuries later it had been almost two weeks since Kayla fell ill. He had spoken to Garrus on several occasions but the Turian could not provide anything encouraging. He'd even sat with her a few times when Chakwas needed a break, telling her about Jack and the Krogan they'd picked up but it didn't ease the guilt.
He was getting antsy and guilt once again forced his legs to carry him to the door of her prison. Just before reaching it, he froze. What am I doing here? It's the middle of the third shift for Christ's sake, Chakwas isn't even in there to answer any questions. What am I going to do, sit there and stare at her? That's not creepy at all. He shook his head and took a deep breath, resting his forehead on the cold metal in front of him. Shit. Why the hell do I feel so nervous?
You're not nervous, you're helpless.
An obvious observation and yet he still fought admitting it. He was a soldier, a fighter, a leader. He was never helpless!
Except when it came to her.
He remembered the first moment he laid eyes on her. She was on the floor, battered and bruised but ready to fight bare handed if need-be to survive. The fear in her eyes as she scurried away from him was almost intimidating, the intensity behind them screaming 'Do not fuck with me, I will kill you' louder than all of the explosions going on around them.
Yet she still let him put his arms around her and lift her to her feet. Once she was steady he let go and had to swallow his heart back down, the vulnerability and fire she revealed to him was so raw and unhindered by pride or appearances he was in awe. There she was, laid bare and she didn't even flinch. It was completely and utterly her and it took his breath away.
And they worked well together. He hadn't said a word but she moved as if reading his mind, collecting supplies and searching for other survivors right alongside him. He didn't even have to look around to be sure where she was, he just knew. It was almost as if he could feel her, even sense her presence.
In the shuttle he couldn't stop himself from protecting her when Miranda started her shit. He'd saved her; well, she let him save her and he'd be damned if he was going to let her be strung up by a Cerberus lackey. Especially with their reputation, Cerberus had zero moral high-ground to stand on as far as he was concerned.
Back in the present, he tried without success to swallow his heart back down and raised his head back up, coming eye to eye with that door again. A heavy sigh escaped his lips. How did I not see this before?
He should have at least seen it coming. He'd seen it with Liara but he was looking for it, as flirtatiously shy as she was, he knew she was attracted to him from the beginning. However with Kayla it was different. Strong and fast, like a punch to the gut that knocks the wind out of you. Just like her, he smiled softly. Her expressions, her body language, he knew it all by heart and could even predict it most times. He knew that even with her own limbs and features he would still recognize her anywhere just by the way she moved.
Pressing his palm flat against the door, he closed his eyes. The stress was building and he knew he had to let it out or it would consume him. Taking a deep breath he exhaled, and with that he let loose all of his emotions, letting them flow through him for the first time in a long time. Fear, anger, desperation, helplessness, love…
Love? His eyes popped open as the word jumped to the front of his mind. Really? It's been what, a few months, and already that word is surfacing? His hands scrubbed his face, trying to clear his head but the thoughts wouldn't leave him. What the fuck did Cerberus do to you? Turn you into a lovesick puppy? Dropping his hands to his sides, anger took over. An anger directed completely at himself for not maintaining the discipline and control he trained for many years to wield.
Space. He clenched his teeth and walked back over to the elevator. I just need some space. Time to think. Breathe...
But he stopped, as if some invisible force grabbed his ankles, anchoring him to the spot. He closed his eyes, all he could see were her light-blue orbs and his heart swelled. He realized in that moment how much she really meant to him, and not just for her utility. She was strong, independent, focused, vigilant, fiercely protective, intelligent, funny, great with a firearm and downright sexy in armor.
Slowly his eyes opened and he made the decision. "You've had plenty of space for the last two weeks," he spoke into the air, swallowing the pride that had bubbled up and turning back toward the med-bay door. "Time to own it."