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Without all of you I'm pretty sure this would be stuck in my head forever. ;)

I knew it.

"I understand," I pushed out as I turned to put my beer down on the table behind us, the knot in my gut growing to the point of almost choking me. Without looking directly at him, I glanced in his direction. "Thanks for the drink, I'll meet you back on the ship."

And I walked away.

Making a b-line for the elevator, my heart was beating a mile a minute as I hurriedly pushed the button for Zakera and prayed for the doors to close without him joining me. When they finally came together, I breathed out and tried desperately to clear my mind.

No such luck.

I can't, I can't, can't WHAT? Can't keep your mouth shut? No, he knows the importance of secrets, so that's not it. That means he can't promise not to hate me, LOVELY. I ran my fingers through my hair, coming up short when I tried to give it a pull. Grasping the ends of a lock, I flicked it into view. Scrutinizing it, I sighed.

I need a stylist. And a spa day. BAD.

After messaging Kasumi, I headed to the salon she suggested and waited for her. Once she arrived, the girls behind the counter immediately recognized her and brought us into a room in the back for 'intense services'. Apparently those services included neck, shoulder and foot massage, plus everything to do with hair and nails. It was heaven.

"I totally needed this, thank you so much Kass," I sighed, my hand in the possession of a lovely young Asari who was very gifted in painting tiny daggers on each of my nails. I smiled at her then turned to Kasumi. "I don't suppose they can make my hair longer? I'm used to it being almost down to my waist, this tiny mop-head is annoying."

Kasumi's hand flew up, waving to one of the other Asari across the room, "Gella, my friend would like her hair lengthened." 'Gella' then nodded with a smile and left the room, returning with an odd looking contraption. It looked like an old fashioned hair dryer, the kind you sit in front of and a cover comes down over your head. She set it behind me on the floor and went about setting it up.

"How does that make your hair longer?" I laughed, pointing to it as I looked over at Kasumi.

She smiled and winked, "Just like everything else in this place, Sam," she snapped her fingers. "Magic."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kasumi and I made it back to the ship a few hours later, hitting The Dark Star Lounge on the way. The place was busy for the afternoon but when you have perpetual daylight I guess anytime is beer-thirty.

A few Turians had taken an interest in us, buying drink after drink until I was sure I'd had more than enough. Having mastered the art of dispensing with beverages on the sly, I found a fake plant near one end of the bar and hovered there, dumping the liquid harmlessly into the pot until it was finally time to leave.

We were stumbling a little and giggling a lot as we made it onto the ramp, Joker having opened it when Kasumi sang over comms, "Knock knock!".

I stole his hat as we walked by, dropping it onto Kasumi's head as we held onto each other to stay upright. I tried shushing her, more than once, but she was insistent on making sure everyone knew not to tell Shepard. It was never clear what Shepard wasn't supposed to know, but whatever.

As we made it into the elevator, I released her to fall against the wall and pushed the button to go down to our room. The doors closed and she blurted out laughing, startling me.

"Wow Kass, you are hammered," I laughed, pushing some hair away from her face.

She smiled up at me, having slid down the wall slightly, "Yup. And it's fun."

The doors opened and I took her arm across my shoulders, half dragging her to our destination. I flopped her down onto her bed then picked up her feet, removing her boots. She mumbled something then rolled over, facing the wall. Smiling, I gave her shoulder a pat and went over to my area.

A spot of something caught my attention on the silver bedspread I'd become accustomed to. As I got closer I realized it was a data pad, and picked it up. When I read the first few words I realized it was from John and dropped it back on the bed. Really? Why? Why would he do this? I shook my head and looked away from the display. No, I can't let my emotions get the best of me. He made himself…

Clear? I shook my head, realizing I didn't give him time to clarify or explain.

Turning back to the bed, I picked up the data pad and slowly brought the words into my field of vision.

Samantha,

I need you to know why I couldn't make the promises you asked.

When you first revealed who you were, you talked about your orders, and the reverence in your eyes reminded me of myself. I'll admit, at first I was resistant to the whole thing, but the more I thought about it the more I realized if our roles were reversed I would be just as adamant.

When we were on the veranda on the Citadel I saw that same look in your eye, except this time you were willing to break that vow. I don't know your reasons, I didn't get a chance to ask, but I knew that I couldn't let you do it.

Your job and your loyalties are extremely important to you and I would not allow you to compromise yourself or your standing with the Alliance, especially not for me.

I care too much.

John

"Ah fuck," I growled, reading the letter again and again. The guilt pooled in my gut with every word. How did I know I was the one who would feel guilty in the end?

Finally I sat down on the bed and dropped the pad, WOW I feel like a fool. I scrubbed my face with my hands, amazed at the fact that I still always thought the worst when things don't quite go the way I planned.

Sighing, I looked back over at the pad and picked it back up. Glancing over the words, the last line grabbed my attention. 'I care too much.'

I wiped my face with my free hand and shook my head, "Shit," I mumbled as I looked at the clock. It was less than halfway through the third shift, no way was he awake. Add to that I was still slightly intoxicated and I decided to stay put. Nothing good could come of me knocking on his door in the middle of the night, best to just sleep it off.

Depositing the pad in a drawer, I pulled out my pajamas and dressed for bed. As I pulled the covers over me, I let out a frustrated yet elated sigh. He cares too much.

Yeah, I know how you feel.

"Miss Reid and Miss Goto have returned, Commander," EDI's voice came over John's comm as he sat on the couch in his quarters, datapad in hand.

He looked up, more out of habit than necessity, and nodded, "Thank you EDI." Looking over at the clock, he saw the late time and sighed. At least someone had a good time.

In an attempt to refrain from hunting down Sam and explaining himself, John had stayed in his room going over data The Illusive Man had provided pertaining to an abandoned reaper Cerberus had discovered orbiting Mnemosyne. Apparently the science team sent there to study it hadn't been heard from in some time and TIM wanted him to look into it.

Regardless, he was tempted to go to Samantha, try to talk to her, but he realized he'd never encountered an intoxicated Sam and wasn't sure it was the proper time for it. She had proven that, straight, she could take him down easily. Alcohol may just enhance her abilities and he was not going to test that theory, especially with the chance there would be witnesses.

All he could do was hope the datapad he'd left on her bed would help ease the tension, even if it didn't alleviate it completely. Realizing he was unable to focus yet again, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Damn, that woman drives me to distraction.

"Commander," Samara's voice came over the comm, "I need to discuss something with you, should you have the time."

John smiled, glad for something else to focus on, "Sure Samara, I'm on my way.".

I woke the next day later than intended, about an hour past my normal time, and jumped up when I realized it. Taking a few steps toward Kasumi's bed, I saw she was still there and smiled. I don't feel so bad now.

I grabbed my things for a shower and washed up, returning to dress when John's voice came over the comms, "Sam, do you copy?".

My heart instantly jumped to my throat and my attempt to clear it was only slightly successful, "Go ahead," I replied, croaking a bit.

It took him a few seconds but he finally responded, "I have something I'd like your take on, can you meet me in the Communications Room?"

I sighed with relief, Back to routine, this I can do. "On my way," I said as I pulled a gray tank top over my head, dragged on a pair of black leggings and slipped on some black flats, pulling my still damp hair back into a ponytail as I headed out the door.

When I reached the Comm Room, John was there with Samara, both bent over a screen. When the door closed behind me they still didn't look up so I cleared my throat, smiling when they finally noticed me.

"What can I help with?" I asked as I moved toward them.

John quirked an eyebrow at me, "Your hair…"

I smiled, proud of my new long locks, "Yeah, I got it lengthened yesterday. It's more my style."

A gentle smile spread across his face, "It suits you."

I gave him an appreciative nod, "Thank you."

For a few moments there was silence, John and I just looking at each other until Samara cleared her throat. John's cheeks flushed ever so slightly and I barely contained the giggle bubbling up my throat.

He looked at Samara, who nodded, then back at me, "We have a situation." He paused, seemingly to choose his words carefully, then continued, "Samara has been looking for her daughter for some time, she has left a trail of bodies behind her and is extremely dangerous. As a Justicar, Samara wants to be the one to stop her. We did some recon last night and we think we've found her."

I shifted my eyes from him to Samara, "What can you tell me about her?"

The Asari raised her chin slightly, either in offence or to brace herself I wasn't sure, "My daughter, Morinth, is an Ardat-Yakshi. She has a rare genetic disorder that causes the afflicted to kill anyone they meld with. I do not know how familiar you are with our culture…"

"I've been doing a lot of reading as of late," I said as I nodded. "I know words on a page do not do anyone true justice, but I have a good idea of what you're talking about."

Samara's nod could not have been more remorseful, "She is, as Shepard stated, extremely dangerous, and we now know she is on Omega." She looked from me to John, then back at me. "Each time she kills she becomes smarter, stronger, faster and she has been killing for 400 years. I want to be sure you are both prepared for what you face."

I couldn't stop my eyes from widening at that, "Wow. Ok, is there a way to stop her, maybe take her off guard?"

The Asari seemed to deflate slightly, "It would be difficult. She also has the ability to confuse her victims, twist their desires to want only her." Samara glanced at John, "She will be a formidable adversary."

I nodded my agreement, "So what's the plan?"

John gestured to get my attention, "It's not much of one, but basically I will try to seduce her into taking me back to her place and we can take her out there."

My jaw dropped, "What?! After what she just said? No, not a chance." I shook my head defiantly and stared him down. His eyes slowly turned that electric blue I remembered from the med bay but I scoffed. "Give me the stink-eye all you want, sending you in alone is a bad idea and you know it."

John crossed his arms, "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," he insisted stubbornly.

I shook my head, "That's not the point." I chewed on my lower lip before speaking, forming each sentence in my head. "Alright, explain to me how you will 'seduce' her."

John smirked, slowly dropping his arms to his sides, "Do you want a demonstration?"

Again, I scoffed, although the look in his eyes radiated heat through my entire body, "Explain."

"Fine," he relented, still smirking. "She likes danger, bad boys. I will walk in and make my presence known, then establish dominance in some way."

Crossing my arms, I smiled defiantly at him as I set him up, "Really? So you're going to improvise, huh?"

He nodded.

I leered at him, "Just like you did with that kid on the catwalk?"

He gave me a half-hearted sneer, "How did I know you'd bring that up?"

Sensing I was getting nowhere, I dropped the sarcasm and placed a hand on his arm, lowering my voice, "Because I care about what happens to you... and I don't think this is up your alley." Again I stared him down, although gentler than before, and he relented slightly.

"Look," he whispered, taking hold of the hand I'd placed on his arm and giving it a warm squeeze, "I understand your concern. But what are you suggesting? That you go in? You have limited experience with Asari and even less with Ardat-Yakshi."

I took a half-step closer, but pulled my hand from his grasp, "Agreed, but sex is sex." I looked over at Samara, "Is it safe to assume she will find me physically attractive?"

Samara looked me up and down, then nodded, "Yes, I believe so."

I looked back up at John, "I've got experience in spades seducing people and as far as getting her attention, I'm the bigger asshole so I'm sure I can manage." Summoning my best 'cocky, arrogant prick' look I gave him a wink.

He stared me down with heat in his eyes then glanced over at Samara, "Could you give us a minute?". She nodded and left the room.

Once the door shut he crossed his arms, "What is this really about?" His eyes bored into mine. Feeling the tension pour off of him, I knew he was angry, or at least genuinely upset with me and it didn't compute immediately as to why.

I held his eyes, the heat of his gaze warming my face, "I-what?".

He dropped his arms and stepped just a hint closer, "Samantha, tell me why are you insisting on being the bait.".

I gave him a confused look, even though I had an idea as to what he was digging for, "I've already told you, I have experience that you don't."

Another half-step and he was nose to nose with me, "The real reason."

His breath on my face and the burning in his eyes was threatening to drive me mad. I was struggling to control my own breathing and my heart was beating out of my chest. How the hell can I think straight when you're throwing my hormones into overdrive?

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to pull myself together, "I have no idea-"

"Bullshit." He took hold of my arms, giving me a gentle squeeze. "Say it."

"Say what?" I breathed out.

I realized in that moment his eyes had changed again, going from that electric blue to the color of the Pacific after a storm. The warm water lapping at the shores and the serenity of the sea at night reminded me so much of John, the way he always brought me back from the brink.

Just then his eyes turned sad, "You think you're disposable."

I opened my mouth to argue but nothing came out, only a small strangled noise that amounted to silence. He was right, he was completely and totally correct and there was no arguing it. Looking up into his eyes, I realized how much I really affected him…

And how much he really affected me.

His gentle sigh made my heart skip a beat, "Sam, you are not disposable." Resting his forehead on mine, I closed my eyes as he ran his thumb along the skin on my arm and shook his head slightly.

"Not to me."

Suddenly the door opened and, not happy at being interrupted, I clenched my fists and my teeth to refrain from biting someone's head off. Taking a breath to remain calm, I opened my eyes and slowly stepped back, turning to see Samara with an anxious look on her face.

"I have confirmation she is in The Afterlife, right now," she said, then, with a nod, left again.

Looking back at John I sighed, "Duty calls…"

He huffed out a laugh and shook his head, "Of course it does."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I quickly went to my room, changing into a slinky black dress I borrowed from Kasumi. Throwing on some heels and make-up, I let my hair down before heading to the ramp to meet Samara and John.

On the way they filled me in on the meeting they'd had with the last victim's mother, talking about the holo-log the girl had been keeping and the details of conversations she'd had with the Asari.

I took in all the information and formulated a plan in my head, "Ok, got it. How do I get into the place?"

John put an armored hand on my arm, "Tell the bouncer Jaruut sent you."

I nodded and smiled as I adjusted my dress, pulling up the bottom and down the top, revealing a bit more skin, "Ok, all set."

John gripped my arm, "Remember, keep your comm on and if you need help we will be right there."

I nodded, "Got it. If I start talking about palm reading, come in shooting." John gave me a confused look to which I shrugged, "You'd be surprised how easy it is to work into any conversation."

He returned the shrug and nodded, "Got it." He squeezed my arm and gave me a small nervous smile. "Be careful Sam, seriously."

My lips curled slightly as my heart did a little flip, "I will. Promise."

A long, meaningful stare later he released me…

Right into the lion's den.