Chapter 15

"What's the next step?" I asked as we walked back into the apartment. I had given Ranger my idea to use me to get Rafael to confess, but he'd shut me off in the middle of it at the restaurant. I was hoping he'd tell me how it could be accomplished.

"The next step is we do nothing," he said. "Lester will be back in two days, and we'll see what he has to report."

"He's looking for clues in Mexico?" I asked skeptically. I didn't think it very likely he'd find anything.

"Paloma Acosta is living in the family apartment," Ranger said. "It's where she lived before she came to the states, after Rafael went to Mexico. Now that he's back here, she's back in Mexico. They are rarely in the same place at the same time. I don't know if she is involved directly with her brother's business, but she's aware of it."

"Because she cleaned out his office and took care of all of his files," I said. "I don't understand why she left the tapes at his house. I would have thought they should have been locked up."

"She didn't live in his house. She owns a townhouse in Princeton. She came to the States and quietly maintained his residence and made a small life for herself here, but she made frequent trips back to Mexico where she stayed at the family apartment, with her brother. As I said, she cleaned out his law office and arranged to have his home cleaned and secured. She didn't stay there and rarely visited his place. I think she doesn't know of the existence of the recording setup or the tapes. I'm hoping Lester will come home with some pertinent information that we can use."

"What kind of pertinent information?"

Ranger shrugged his shoulders. "We'll have to wait and see."

"And yet, we have all the evidence we need in there." I pointed toward his bedroom. "But we can't use it. We need to work out a plan where I can confront him and tell him I know he killed David. We can get a confession, I'm sure of it."

"What's changed, Babe?" Ranger asked. "Yesterday the mention of Acosta's name caused you to have a panic attack. Now you want to face him. I don't think you've thought this through. If you were able to get a confession from him, you'd have to go to court and testify. If your actual tape didn't come into play, your relationship and the details would be made public. Two days ago, you told me that would kill your mother. I don't think you've thought of all the repercussions."

"You're right, Ranger, something has changed. I finally admitted something to myself that I've been afraid to think let alone verbalize. When I watched Rafael with David, it became clear, and as terrifying as it is, admitting it to myself along with getting my tape from his house has changed everything.

"You said Rafael made a tape of me so he could use it if he needed something from Dickie. That's not why he did it. I don't think he met all those other women at his office, in his hidden…chamber." I couldn't bring myself to say torture chamber, but that's what it had been.

"I think he was really attracted to me," I continued. "He called me after we'd been together, and we talked on the phone for hours. It was a courtship of sorts. Then one day he asked if I could meet him at his office because he was running late. I did, and he showed me his room. He was very proud of it. He said he was trying to keep me safe because if Dickie found out it could hurt my divorce settlement. By that time, I was starting to have real feelings for him, and the thought of getting revenge on Dickie had become secondary to just being with Rafael."

Ranger's phone dinged an incoming call. I could hear Tank's baritone as clearly as if he was standing next to me. "He's at her door," he told Ranger. Ranger looked at me, probably trying to figure out if I'd heard.

"He who?" I asked, answering his unspoken question.

"Acosta," Ranger said. He was answering me, but Tank responded.

"She can answer with the app on her phone."

"You put an app on my phone?" I asked.

"Do you want to speak to him?" Ranger said. "You can tell him you're not at home."

"I, uh, no. No, I don't want to speak to him."

"Let it go," Ranger told Tank. "Monitor him and let me know if he doesn't leave the premises or if he comes back," and then he disconnected.

"So now Tank knows?" I asked.

"Tank already knew you were helping me with the investigation. He knows nothing of your previous relationship with Acosta. He'll assume Acosta's presence has something to do with this investigation, or if he thinks otherwise, he'll never mention it."

Abruptly I turned and walked into Ranger's bedroom and into the office. There was one tape in front of the player, seven stacked to the left side of it, and two on the right. My backpack was zipped and stuffed back under the desk. Ranger organized the tapes before he left the office. I noticed on closer inspection the tape in front of the player had a small check mark on the label. I was pretty sure Ranger had put it there to denote that it was the tape of David. I was also pretty sure he knew there was one tape missing. I'd placed mine carefully at the bottom of my messenger bag.

I turned to go back to the living room and found Ranger standing in the doorway to his bedroom, watching me. He looked unfamiliar to me out of uniform. It had happened twice lately, and I knew it was significant, but I didn't have a clue as to what was really going on. Was he trying to reconnect with his family? I was almost positive he wasn't wearing two guns and a knife tonight. Was that an indication he might be ready to move forward with a relationship? I tried not to get my hopes up, or at least let them climb any higher than they already were.

"Why did you run from the room today, while we were watching the tape?" he asked.

Was he joking? I thought I was getting ready to see a man murdered, for one thing. The other even stronger reason is that I saw myself in that video. It had never gone that far with Rafael and me. He'd always quit when I begged him to. Seeing it reenacted in a more horrible way was more than I could stand.

"I couldn't watch anymore," I said.

"You left when Acosta started with the stinger."

"Stinger?"

"The whip he was using when you left the room is called a stinger whip. It's a supposedly non-lethal whip that delivers a high level of pain. You may not have known what it was called, but you recognized it."

He couldn't know that. Could he? He was watching the tape, not me. Right now, I could see the concern in his expression. He was wondering if I'd told him everything the night of my drunken confession. I'd told him as much as I could remember, but there were things I'd left out. It was hard to dredge all the facts from the denial locker where they'd been stored in my brain. I didn't get specific on some of the details. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Did he use it on you, Babe?" His voice was strangely gentle, and for the first time I sensed vulnerability in Ranger. He was in protection mode and my words could wound him, much as I had been wounded.

"No," I lied. "I'd seen it before, but I didn't know it had that name, and he never used it on me."

Lying was my one true superpower. I did it extremely well. Unfortunately lie-detecting was one of Ranger's superpowers, and he did it well, too. He came to me and embraced me gently. He buried his head in the curls along my neck and I heard him inhale deeply. I smiled a little because he was inhaling his own scent. I'd been heavy-handed with the Bulgari since I came to stay. He walked me to the bed, never breaking his embrace, and carefully, like I was porcelain and not a bounty hunter who could survive a four story fall off a rusty fire-escape, laid me on the bed.

I hoped we were going to make love. He'd given a plausible explanation as to why we wouldn't be making love last night before he stormed from the apartment. He didn't want to take advantage of me. He didn't want me to use him as a crutch to get through this whole ordeal. Now a day later, Ranger needed some comfort of his own. He was upset about what he'd seen on video, because in the same way it had clarified some things for me, it had for Ranger as well. He now had a good idea, a visual depiction, of what it must have been like for me. It was one thing to tell him and another entirely to have him see it.

What Rafael had done to David was far worse than anything I'd gone through. I'd seen the metal dildos lined up in a drawer near the bed, but I'd never been violated in that way. What I had seen today made me realize exactly why I was so terrified of Rafael and exposing my videotape was only a small part of it.

Each time with Rafael had become progressively worse. When I saw what David had been through, I was at once horrified and relieved. Horrified for what had happened to David of course and relieved that it had been him and not me. I was ashamed of that thought, but it had been front and center as I watched the tape. I knew with certainty that if the affair with Rafael had continued, it would have ended in my death, not because I had information that would harm him as David did. If I'd been killed maybe that would have satisfied Rafael, and he and David would have continued their relationship, that at some point must have been mutually beneficial.

Ranger leaned in to kiss me, but I put my hand up to his face to stop him. "We need to talk," I said. "There are things you need to hear."

"Talk," he said, and so I did.

"What you saw on that tape, is not what happened to me," I said. Lula's words came to my mind. "I was never brutalized to that degree. It's just that it went from pleasurable lovemaking to something entirely different. Each time he became a little more controlling and that's when I told him I didn't want to see him any longer. He responded by pulling out the video tape and threatening to show it to Dickie and my family. I didn't have a choice. I let it go on." Ranger rolled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled me up next to him and we sat side by side while I told him the rest.

"When I asked him to stop, to take the restraints off me, he did, and it gave him great satisfaction to know he had somehow broken me. He had control of me. I used to get so angry that sometimes I'd delay asking, not because I enjoyed the pain, but I didn't want him to get the satisfaction of winning. He always did though, because of the threat of that tape. When you saw me on the security video you said I was frightened. You were right, but I couldn't verbalize what I was afraid of. Now I can. I knew on some level that my life was in danger each time I was with him. If he hadn't left Trenton when he did, I'd be dead by now."

"Babe." I couldn't interpret this "Babe." I didn't know if I'd horrified him, disappointed him or in some way comforted him. I looked deeply into his eyes, and I saw desire and I saw need. Tonight, Ranger was the one who needed comfort. It was dark in the room and, really, I couldn't see much in his eyes, so maybe I wanted to see desire and the need for comfort in his eyes. It didn't matter because I knew what I felt and what I was determined to have.

I ran my fingers lightly up the front of his shirt and drew a slow circle around one of his nipples. I could feel his response under the soft cotton of the Henley he wore. I reached up with my other hand and pulled his head down to mine. I didn't wait for him. My mouth covered his. He didn't pull away and responded to me in such a way that made me think he wanted me to continue. So, I did.

I awoke, hours later, to see Ranger sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me. I was surprised by the 4:00 a.m. displayed on the bedside clock. That was an early start to the day, even for Ranger, but then I noticed he wasn't moving. He was making no attempt to get up from the bed and get ready for the day.

"Is it time to get up?" I asked groggily. At my question he turned and slipped back under the covers and came close to me, wrapping his arm around me.

"Not for a while, Babe. Go back to sleep." I did, eventually, but I laid there quietly for a time wondering what caused him to be so upset he wasn't sleeping. Not that I'd spent all that many nights with him, but Ranger was efficient in all areas of his life. He went to bed, slept until it was time to get up, got up and then went about his day. Of course, I knew it was the tape he now had in his possession but was unable to use. Lucky for him I was going to be able to help.

The next time I woke up, Ranger was freshly shaved, showered and completely naked. He was standing at the foot of the bed staring at me. I could get used to waking up this way very easily.

"I have something to discuss with you," he said. He was completely oblivious to his nakedness. I was not.

"Uh, okay," I said trying to lift my gaze to his face. When I did, I saw the sides of his mouth tilt slightly upwards. He turned and went into the dressing room and came back seconds later wearing black silk boxers. It helped my concentration, a little.

He sat next to me on the bed, trapping me under the covers. I squirmed a little not liking the confinement. He noticed and moved slightly, loosening the covers.

"I can't let you be a part of any type of entrapment with Acosta," he said.

"You can't?"

"I know you want to protect Louis and Ella," he said. "That's admirable, but I don't see any way of your doing that and keeping your own situation out of the public eye. You'd have to approach him, spend time with him and eventually work a confession out of him. "

"I could do that."

"You couldn't," Ranger said. "Last night you weren't comfortable with talking to him over your phone when he was at your door. You were upset at the thought that Tank might know of your relationship. If you were to go through with trying to get a confession out of Acosta, it's possible, probable, you'd have to testify in court. If not the actual tape, then the details of your relationship would become public. We're going to have to find another way."

I had so much I wanted to say back to him, but I didn't. I didn't think mere words would change his mind. Instead, I went a different route.

"Fine, but you said Lester won't be back for two days. What am I supposed to do? Hide out here?"

"You don't have to sit in the apartment all day. You could watch the remaining tapes, or you can go to the bonds office. Or you could go visit your family."

"I'm leaving the tape watching to you," I said. "I'll stop by the bonds office to see if Vince and Lula need help. And I think I will go visit my mother. It's pot roast night, so I won't be back until after dinner."

"Take the Macan," he said. "Your car is being used for camera surveillance of your parking lot."

"No problem."

I stayed in bed as he finished getting ready for the day.

After he left, I sat up in bed and smirked. He should know better than to say "You can't" to me. Those were fighting words. In this case there was no way I could work to get a confession out of Rafael without his help, so the mission for the day was to change his mind. He was the one who was bothered by the fear Rafael ignited in me. There was only one way for me to lose that fear. I needed to neutralize the threat. I had the tape, and hopefully it was the only copy. There was something I needed to do and today was apparently the day to do it.

It would be unpleasant but, somehow, I would find the courage to tell my mother about the tape and what might happen. Best case scenario, she'd have hysterics, break out the whiskey and start ironing. Worst case scenario, I wouldn't be going home anymore. The outcome didn't matter. Oh! Of course, it mattered. I didn't want to lose my family, but at the same time I couldn't sit back and see Ella and Louis's lives destroyed. And I had to make Rafael pay, not only for what he'd done to David, but what he'd done to me, and every other woman he'd secretly recorded.

I knew what had to be done so I sat and mentally prioritized my day. Donuts were on my to-do list, but surprisingly they weren't at the top.